what's going on, everybody? trevor noah here. welcome to another episode of the daily social distancing show. we're starting week four of staying at home to try and prevent the spread of the coronavirus. and as you may have noticed, yes, i've decided to move to a different spot in my apartment. you see, me and that other part of my apartment had a big fight so i'm trying to make it jealous. yeah, i'm in a new spot now, and she's treats me right! anyway, here's your quarantine tip of the day. if you're running out of deodorant, there's an easy way to smell nice. it's, you take something called... a shower. yeah. i don't know what those are. anyway, on tonight's episode, we're gonna learn how to make a mask at home.

some people say jesus can protect you from coronavirus. and donald trump finally admits he's not a doctor. so let's get into it. welcome to the daily social distancing show. announcer: from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. ♪ let's kick it off with the big news. here in the united states, the country is bracing for a week that the surgeon general, jerome adams, said is going to be our pearl harbor moment and our 9/11 moment. adding that "this is going to be the hardest and saddest week of most americans' lives." yeah, that's a really, really dire warning. but despite these warnings, there are still people who are not taking social distancing seriously. man: for some cities, good weather was all it took to draw out the crowds. people gathering in san francisco, flooding washington d.c.'s famous seafood wharf saturday

and strolling new york's central park. woman: in los angeles, officers breaking up a celebration for a one-year old little girl, calling in reinforcement after the crowd became agitated. man 2: across the country, religious leaders are holding services, and risking their parishioners' and their communities' health. man 3: driving out of this ohio parking lot is a woman who just attended a church service with dozens of other people, including children. can i ask you about your decision to go to church, to be inside that building? i wouldn't be anywhere else. aren't you concerned you could infect other people -if you get sick inside? -no. people that don't go to this church? no. i'm covered in jesus's blood. i'm covered in jesus's blood. okay, people, just because jesus is on your side doesn't mean you can't get sick. don't forget. jesus was on jesus's side, and he died, okay? yeah, he came back, but that was, like, a one-time thing. i think it's like mario brothers' lives. maybe he's got two left. and you know it's funny how a lot of these same people who say, jesus will protect them from coronavirus are the same people stocking up on guns. i don't get it. huh?

"won't the blood of jesus protect you from an intruder?" "nah, i'm going with buckshot for this one." (imitates gun chamber clicking) "he needs jesus more than me." and look, whether you want to believe in coronavirus or not, it is real, and today, the united states passed 10,000 coronavirus deaths. and experts are saying that that number is probably undercounting things, because apparently, many deaths in the u.s. have been labeled as pneumonia or influenza when they were likely coronavirus. now, as america reaches the hardest week yet of this epidemic, states around the country have been begging the federal government to help them find ventilators for their overcrowded hospitals. but because the federal government took so long to react to this crisis, president trump just doesn't have enough ventilators to go around. what he can give people, though, is some unsolicited medical advice. man: president trump says he thinks doctors should use the drug hydroxychloroquine to treat patients who have tested positive. that's hydroxychloroquine and...

azithromycin. uh, and again, you have to go through, uh, your medical people, get the approval. uh, but, uh... i've seen things that i sort of like. so what do i know? i'm not a doctor. i'm not a doctor. okay, here's what i don't get. trump is acknowledging he's not a doctor while legitimate doctors who could answer these questions are standing right there next to him. why are we getting his opinion at all? imagine if you went in for a checkup and there was just some random dude behind your doctor giving his opinion, like, "if you ask me, if looks like "you got some of that aids cancer. "but what do i know? i'm just a guy who hangs out here." i do have to give some credit to trump, though, for at least giving us a disclaimer that he is not a doctor. i mean, he doesn't normally do that. in fact, he should end all of his coronavirus press conferences like a pharmaceutical ad. he'd just come out like, "donald trump is not a doctor, "and his advice should not be taken seriously. "if you have an erection lasting longer than four hours, please let donald trump know 'cause that's pretty cool."

now before you get depressed by the fact that america is being lead by someone who knows less about medicine than dr. pepper, there is still a lot of good news out there. don't lose hope. for instance, in europe, although spain and italy are still reporting more than 10,000 new infections each day, their corona numbers are finally slowing down, which could be a sign that the worst has passed. and south korea-- they're superstars-- they've reported only 47 new cases yesterday. and with fewer than 200 deaths out of a population of 51 million people, south korea has basically emerged as maybe the only nation to have handled the pandemic with near complete success. and i mean, let's be honest. south korea was always going to beat corona, because from what i can tell, everyone in that country has a basement inside their basement. so i mean, if you're the virus, good luck finding a south korean person. but maybe the best news of all is that there are rumors

that netflix might be dropping a new episode of tiger king, people. that's right. jeff lowe told a fan online that he had been filmed for a new episode scheduled to drop this week! yeah. and when has jeff lowe ever lied? i mean, if you can't trust a 65-year-old man who dresses like a rebellious teenager, who can you trust? and i guess this is how low the bar has gotten for what counts as good news right now. we find out there's more episodes about deranged murderers and people being cruel to animals, and we're like, "yes! oh, some good news. thank you, lord!" and i'm gonna be honest, guys. i am terrified of this news because every episode of tiger king has been crazier than the previous episode. so what's gonna happen in this new episode? are we going to find out carol baskin and her husband faked his death to get the insurance money, and he's been secretly living inside one of those tigers all along? (yells) but let's move on. over the weekend, we got a major update from the cdc.

after months of telling us that only sick people should be wearing masks, the cdc now says everyone should cover their faces with masks made from cloth, like shirts or bandanas or scarves. because apparently, even people who don't have symptoms of coronavirus can unknowingly spread the coronavirus. we are all coronavirus. sounds like an inspirational message. even if you don't feel corona, corona can feel you. so basically, anytime we go outside for essentials, all of us should have a bandana or something on our face. the cdc's gonna have everybody looking like broke-ass mortal kombat characters. get over here! whoa, whoa, whoa. dude, dude, coronavirus. not that close. just get over there. but still, folks, that's a major shift from the cdc, and it's already having a big impact. for instance, joe biden said that from now on he will wear a mask in public, because it's important to follow the science.

meanwhile, president trump has said that these guidelines are voluntary, and he will probably not wear a mask. which, let's be honest, doesn't surprise anyone. trump is all about appearance. he's not gonna be wearing a mask. he doesn't care about safety. in fact, the only way they can get him to wear a mask is if his aides trick him. yeah, they just got to trick him like he's a child. no, mr. president, it's not a mask. it's a border wall for your face. (like trump): so viruses are like the mexicans of germs. i got it. now, if you're not the president and you want to help and try and stop the spread of coronavirus, you can make your own mask at home. yeah. all you have to do is put pieces together, and you can sew your own mask if you want to. and i know it sounds difficult, but i actually watched some youtube videos, and... it's actually pretty easy. hey, guys. so, i'm gonna show you how to make your own face mask at home. all you need is a piece of fabric, like a t-shirt, and then something to cut with. you want to get the fabric to the place where you... god! (grunts)

so that's basically how you make a face mask. pretty simple. but, uh, you know, just to see how other people do it, i'm gonna check in with some of the correspondents and see if they've had any success, 'cause i... i know they're a pretty crafty group of individuals. so, uh, let me just skype in with jaboukie. uh... (electronic chiming) yo, jaboukie. what's going on, dude? yo, trevor. what's up? i just got back from a walk outside. have you been down the street? it is beautiful this time of year. that's actually the reason i'm calling you. i can't... i can't go outside right now, 'cause i can't make a mask. i tried, and... it turns out i-i bleed a lot. like, can you help me figure out how to make a mask? it looks like you got a cool one. yes, yes, well, i, you know, i'm prepared, but i know how to make a mask from scratch. i told you to get those t-shirts, right? those t-shirts that you wear around the office. oh, yeah, yeah, i've got all my work t-shirts here. -yeah, i've got them. -perfect. i have the instructions right here. i'm gonna read them out. so, with the first t-shirt, -okay. -you're going to... uh, to cut it in half, like...

-okay. -yeah. -cut it in half. in half? -uh, yes, exactly like that. -yes, yes. -okay. like-like, sort of, like, right across it. it doesn't need to be neat. you could just... -yeah. -oh, great. okay, okay. -right. -oh, damn. all right. oh, so this is probably gonna be, like... is this, like, the front of the mask type thing? -yes, exactly, exactly. -okay, cool. yeah, got it. -fine. it's good. so... -i got that. all right, perfect. you got that one. -so, take the next... -uh-huh? and then you're gonna want to cut that one up the middle like that. up the middle... okay, cool. -yeah. -all right, so just take it like... like that, and then... wow. all right. yeah, it's tricky with the hands, but... yeah. i didn't... i didn't know that your hand could, like, bleed so much from a finger. it's, like, a weird thing. so, i can just, like... so down like that, right? yeah, you can even just rip it, you can even rip it. right. so, now it's, like, just, like, one big piece. -perfect. yes, yes. exactly. -okay. so, then, for the last one-- and this one's super important. that's the white one, right?

-yep, i recognize that one. -yeah. um, you're gonna want to cut it diagonal, like that. okay, diagonal. so, like, through the sleeves. -yes, yes, exactly. -okay, cool. -yes. yes, yes, yes. -all right, i got it, -i got it, i got it. -yep, yep, yep. wow. man, this is... this is really hard. i see why people are struggling. -okay, cool. i got it... -you got it, though, you got it. -through the sleeve... to the other side. -and... almost there. oh. there, i got it. -yes! you got it! okay. -aah...! perfect! yeah! so, now... this is great, dude. this is so much fun. okay, what do... so what do i do now? so, take all three of those -yeah? -and-and put them in a garbage bag and throw them away. i never liked those shirts, trevor. they don't look good on you. yo, jaboukie, these were my favorite shirts. and that was the problem. you've got to be looking crisp, trevor. you can't be out here lackin'. i'm sorry i called you, jaboukie. i hope you have a fantastic day outside with your mask.

-goodbye, jaboukie. -that would be a really cute crop top. asshole. all right, let me see if i can get dulcé on. (electronic chiming) -dulcé! -hi, friend. you're a sight for sore eyes. how are you? i'm all right. you know, i'm just in here just, um, cooking and crafting and just really plotting my takeover of the world. what? i knew i should have called you... wait, what? -hmm? -anyway, i knew i should have called you first. because i need someone who can craft. i'm trying to make a mask for myself to stop coronavirus, but i don't know how to do it. um, yeah, there's a thing that happened. anyway, can you... can you help me out? mm-mm. i don't need a face mask to go outside. 'cause i just wear this t-shirt that says: "i already have corona." -why would you do that? -to trick the corona. when the corona sees my shirt, it'll be like, "i don't need to infect her! ha! i already been there!" -hmm? -dulcé, the coronavirus can't read. how do you know that? we don't know anything about this virus. this bitch could have a master's. we don't know.

it could work for nasa. n-no, dulcé, you need to get a mask when you're outside. pl-please don't... please don't use the shirt, dulcé. that's... yeah, even that's better. i got to go. i really thought you'd help me. this is... man, let me see if i can get someone. (electronic chiming) yo. michael kosta. -trevor! -what's going on, dude? -how you doing? -what hap... are you okay, man? dude, that's why i'm calling you, man. i-i can't... making these masks is harder than people say. like, i almost chopped my hand off. dude, sewing and needles-- you don't need to do that, man. -i got it, trevor. -wh-what do you mean? i took a pillowcase. i cut some holes for the eyes. this is it-- no sewing, no loops. i just came up with it. check this out. this works. it protects your fa... oh. i think i... made a klan hood. yeah, i think you made a klan hood. sh... i'm... oh, my... -yeah. -this is not... thought... we-we... it's-it's...

we should just stay indoors. it's fine. i... can we not... -can we just forget it? -we're... yeah, i-i don't even... this never happened. i don't even... well, there you have it. an easy way to make a face mask. after the break, i'm gonna be chatting to jennifer garner, so don't go anywhere. we'll be right back.

i'll turn you all byinto rock zombies.ld tour rock and roll! [ screaming ] if we're gonna save the world, we need to unite all the trolls. like k- pop... ♪ reggaeton... ♪ yodelin'... ♪ and hip hop. ♪ my whole body's made of glitter ♪ ♪ and i'll throw it in your face ♪ well, we're doomed. a smooth jazz troll? i don't care for smooth jazz. the world premiere is in your home friday. go to watchtrolls.com for more. rated pg.

wearlier today, i spokely with actress jennifer garner about her initiative to help kids continue learning while they're stuck at home during the coronavirus outbreak. and we also talked about how we can help kids get the nutrition that they need while their schools are closed.

so, check it out. jennifer garner, welcome to the daily social distancing show. thank you. it's nice to not be with you. (laughs) is this the longest time you've been at home, like, ever, basically? i mean, sometimes when you're shooting something, you don't leave town, but yeah. this is the longest time, for sure. i-i feel for people who have kids in this time, because one of the most talked about effects of coronavirus is obviously the economy, it's people's health, and then i find in a close spot, like, right near the top, is parents saying this is the worst time they've ever experienced in their lives because they have to teach their kids. you have three children, correct? i have three children, and their schools are doing a great job of, um... they're still receiving instruction from school, so i haven't had to be their teacher. i-i think i'm ill-equipped to be their teachers. and i'm really proud of them. they've been great. i-i have no complaints. but if they... if they were toddlers and babies, i would probably lose my mind. yes. toddlers are.... toddlers are the worst

because they don't understand what you're saying, 'cause, i mean, they're basically drunk the whole time. -(laughs): yes. yeah. -and i feel like you're in such a good place that you've decided to help others get into a better place, um, which is part of the reason we're chatting today. um, the initiative that you're kicking off with reese witherspoon sounds amazing. amy adams is part of it, as well. i saw lupita nyong'o. i saw chris evans. i saw so many a-list names coming together. and if i understand correctly, you're gonna be reading stories to children. tell me more about this. well, amy adams called me a couple of weeks ago and said, "i-i'm worried about the kids that are out of school." and i know... you know, 30 million kids rely on school for food, not to mention, you know, so many kids don't have broadband, don't have books at home, don't have access to school supplies or anything like that. and their schools can't afford to print up stuff -and send them home with them, anyway. -mm-hmm. but, um, her idea was wouldn't it be great if celebrities read books for kids who are home

and for whom the news is scary and there's not a lot of content. and then we asked for donations. and i said, "well, this is actually what i do." and we immediately asked no kid hungry to partner with us because their specialty is urban and food. our specialty is rural and education. -mm-hmm. -and, so, the combination of things has been really awesome, and what's incredible is just how much people want to help. and, um, reese witherspoon, always the first to jump onto a way to help people. and then, um, we've just been running it from my little office while my kids are in zoom school. and, um, yeah. it's... we've raised a, you know, couple million dollars. -wow. -and in mostly ten dollar donations, which just shows that people at home are really generous. there are a lot of people that say, "yep, i'll give ten dollars." but also, people are just enjoying the videos. so, you're making these videos, and-and you're reading to kids, and you're raising the money to help other kids who need to get food, and-and you're trying to just, i guess, help everybody in any way that you can.

um, i guess the question is not the why but-but rather, like, why these areas specifically? i know you worked in it, but what was... what made this so important for you? well, i know what it looks like in rural america. i grew up in rural america. my mom and... my mom and dad both did. they both grew up poor. i didn't, but i was surrounded in west virginia by generational rural poverty. and i-i've worked and traveled extensively throughout rural... the poorest pockets of america -with save the children for 12 years. -mm-hmm. they are living on a razor's edge. um, they're really... when these kids show up monday for school, they run into school. and it's not because the breakfast that is served at school is so fancy. it's because they haven't eaten since the snack at the save the children program friday after... in the after-school program. they-they might have eaten, but they haven't had a real meal. and i know. i had just been in kentucky the week before all of this went down

visiting our programs out in perry county. and all they were talking about was, "okay, how are we gonna get food made? "and then can we afford gas "and bus drivers to get it to the kids? "and when we do, how will we get enough books to be on the buses for the kids?" and, so, when amy called me and had this great idea, it was just like, yeah, this is exactly what i should be doing and exactly how i need to spend this time. um, before i let you go, how can people help? if they want to jump in, if they want to participate in any way, what can they do to help? well, first of all, just for fun of it, for the fun of it, go onto instagram to @savewithstories, and you'll see... i mean, we just put steve carell up. tomorrow, we have lin-manuel miranda going up. um, kathryn newton. uh, we have so many great people up there reading and more going all the time. and your favorite, favorite books. and i'm personally matching everyone with their book. and if you want to donate, it's ten dollars. um, you just text the word "save"

-to 20222. -mm-hmm. or you go onto, um, savethechildren.org /savewithstories. -got it. -and that would be awesome, because we're just eking everything out of it that we can to help these kids. well, thank you so much for doing that, and we'll help as much as we can on our side. i really appreciate it. do you want to read for us? -i would love to. -would you? you let me know when, and then we'll-we'll jump in on it. oh, good. okay, wait, i have one more thing to tell you. -yes. -it's been so successful for save the children here in the u.s. that it's up and running in the netherlands. save the... uh, save with stories south korea. -save with stories south africa. -wow. save with stories, um, u.k. is getting up and running. australia. so... india. so it's become a whole global thing. isn't that cool? -amy adams. -that's amazing. that's really, really amazing. i... this is one of those things that i hope will stay long after coronavirus is gone. we just keep doing this and keep helping. i hope so. well, thanks. thanks so much. -we really appreciate you. -thank you. -thank you so much for your time. -yeah. take care.

-be safe. bye. -bye. thank you so much, jennifer garner. well, that's our show for today. before we go though, this is a make-or-break week for many doctors, nurses, and first responders around the country. and you at home can help them protect themselves while they're saving lives. all they need is help getting masks, gloves, and gowns, or ppe, to protect themselves during this crisis. so please go to thrive global's first responders first and donate whatever you can to help get ppe to the people saving our lives. and if you want to help in new york city specifically, then please go to the new york mayor's fund covid-19 response and help them out. stay safe out there. wash your hands, and, remember, only cough into your own elbow. other people, doesn't work so well. i'll see you again tomorrow. now here it is, your moment of zen. tonight, i can report the sky is absolutely falling. we are all doomed. the end is near. the apocalypse is imminent.

and you're going to all die, or at least that's what the media mob would like you to think. ♪ yeah, i'm dead right though. this-- the coronavirus is-is the common cold, folks. the hype of this thing as a pandemic, as the andromeda strain, as "oh, my god, if you get it, you're dead." this is one of those cases where the-the more i learn about coronavirus, the less concerned i am. there's a lot of hyperbole. the national left-wing media playing up fears of the coronavirus. the sky is falling because we have a few dozen cases of coronavirus on a cruise ship? i am far more concerned with stepping on a used heroin needle than i am getting the coronavirus. but maybe that's just me. it's a virus! like the flu. all the talk about coronavirus being so much more deadly doesn't reflect reality. this virus should be compared to the flu, 'cause, at worst, at worst, worst-case scenario, it could be the flu. the far more deadly, more lethal threat right now

is not the coronavirus-- it's the-- it's the ordinary old flu. -people are dying right now. -flu is here. -everywhere. -nobody has died yet in the united states, -as far as we know, from this disease. -that's right. and the facts are actually pretty reassuring. but you'd never know it, watching all this stuff. you want to know how i really feel about the coronavirus, juan? if i get it, i'll beat it. i'm not afraid of the coronavirus, and no one else should be that afraid either. it is very, very difficult to contract this virus. it's milder than we thought. the fatality rate is gonna drop. so when you hear the context, it's not quite as scary. it's actually the safest time to fly. everyone i know that's flying right now, terminals are pretty much dead. and then the planes, remember back in the day when you had a seat next to you possibly empty? -you could stretch out a little more. -yeah. it's like that on every flight now. one of the things you can do, if you're healthy, uh, you and your family, it's a great time to just go out, go to a local restaurant. -yeah. -likely you can get in-- get in easily. reporter: republican congressman matt gaetz mocked concerns about the spread of the virus

by wearing a gas mask on capitol hill. reporter 2: when a reporter in the capital asked senator james inhofe of oklahoma, 85, what precautions he was taking, he extended his arm with confidence. "want to shake hands?" uh, in our line of work, uh, you shake hands. i expect, uh, the president will continue to do that. i'll continue to do it. we have contained this. we have contained this. i won't say airtight but pretty close to airtight. it is being contained. and do you not think it's being contained? zero people in the united states of america have died from the coronavirus. zero. this is a flu. this is like a flu. it's going to disappear. one day-- it's like a miracle-- it will disappear. i felt it was a pandemic long before it was called a pandemic. -i took it very seriously. -by the way, this program has always taken the coronavirus seriously. this is ridiculous. do you have any idea what time we'll get out of here? nobody likes to work late. least of all me. do you have plans tonight?

no, i don't. remember when you told us not to make plans 'cause we were working? yes, i remember. mmm, this is b.s. this is b.s. why are we here? i am gonna call corporate. enough is enough. i'm--god, i'm so mad! this is michael scott, scranton. well, we don't want to work. no, we don't! it's not fair to these people. [shouting] these people are my friends, and i care about them! we're not gonna do it! [hangs up phone] everybody, i just got off the horn with corporate. and basically i told them where they could stick their little overtime assignment. go enjoy your friday. thank you, michael. all right. oh, well, i think we dodged a bullet there. i think you did. i think we should celebrate. how about you, pam, mi casa-- a little dinner, dancing, drinks? oh, i-- you said you didn't have plans. that's what you said. michael has asked pam and me to dinner at least nine times.

and every time, we've been able to get out of it. but i've got to give him credit. he got me. because i'm starting to suspect that there was no assignment from corporate. michael, what time should i be arriving? dwight, it's couples only. and besides, i only have six wine glasses. so it will be me and jan, and pam and jim. and angela and andy. hey-yo! does it bother me that i wasn't invited to michael's dinner party? [scoffs] [cheerful music] ♪

hello. how are you?come on in. good to see you. (jan) good to see you. chilly, huh? i'm so glad we finally, uh-- finally got to do this with you guys. (jim) this is great. you want to--you want to take their coats, babe? yes, i wokay. so what have you been doing? let's see, since i saw you an hour ago? yeah. i have been getting ready, and then driving over here. well, we've been doing pretty much the same thing. except driving. really? we-- we got you this. oh, well,oh, vino. thank you. this will be great to cook with--really. have a seat, or come on in. or, i don't know, make yourself to home. this is our casa. (pam) really nice. so what do you guys think? should we do the tour first? should we have appetizers first? tour. let's do the tour first. okay. okay.