read of coronavirus. and good news! really good news -- according to new york governor andrew cuomo, what we're doing right now is working. yeah. and for the first time in weeks, the number of people who are being admitted to hospitals is decreasing. so, please, let's keep it going. and i know it is hard. i know it is hard to stay locked up in the house, especially when the weather is getting better, but here's your quarantine tip of the day, if you're feeling lonely in your apartment, just leave some food out on the floor and then when the rats show up, you can pretend you're cinderella. tonight's show, vladimir putin loses confidence. dos and dont's and president trump tries out "for the mad king. "so let's get to it. >> from trevor noah trevor's couch to your couch? sm where in the world, this is

"the daily show" with trevor noah! >> trevor: first, let's talk about a major development in the presidential race. after staying on the sidelines throughout the democratic primary, president barack hussein obama has now made an endorsement. >> choosing joe to be my vice president was one of the best decisions i ever made and that the why i'm so proud to endorse joe biden for the president of the united states. >> trevor: yes, my friends, barack obama has officially endorsed joe biden. now, i know some people think it's weird obama waited this long to give biden his blessing, but really this is just his african side coming out. this is likely what african fathers do. now that you have taken on your enemies by yourself, you are a man today. now i can call you my son. so i wasn't -- i'm not saying you were not my son. i said if you failed defeat the

lion, i would disown you. all right, before we catch up on the coronavirus update, fun in our light hearted segment "a ray of sunshine." ♪ ♪ let's kick things off with lego. one of the world's biggest toy manufacturers and destroyier of bare feet. they've announced that they have converted some of their molding machines to help make protective equipment for medical workers, and this is so great that lego is now stepping in and helping healthcare workers with p.p.e. i mean, i just don't know how comfortable a lego mask will be, but they're trying. also, if there's one thing we know about legos is no one builds what they're actually supposed to build. it's going to be like eh, mr. doctor, did you get the lego mask? yeah, but i built a helicopter! in indonesia, not everyone is willing to stay inside, so in response one village came up

with a mooooood solution! >> a village in indonesia is using an unusual method to try and curb the spread of the coronavirus. take a look at this, locals are dressing up as ghosts to patrol the resident streets trying to spook residents into respecting home orders. officials say the plan originally backfired when people ventured out to take photos of the ghost for social media. >> trevor: i don't know what crazier here, the fact this village tried to use dwoases to scare people back into their houses, or the fact that the people heard there were ghosts outside and tried to get pictures for social media? like, what if we become? what has social media made us? there's a ghost and you're, like, i'm going to outside? i'm willing to bet if the exorcist head twisting thing happened today, instead of being scared, people would be, like, oh, my god! can you do that again?

that would make an amazing tik tok. hey, hey, hey! finally, with coronavirus shutting down most to have the american economy, every state has had to make their own decisions about which businesses are essential. all right? which businesses are essential to remain open. in california, they decided that some weed dispensaries could stay open. texas has said that gun stores are essential. and in florida, they went with this -- >> meanwhile the wwe was back performing live shows last night at the performance center in orlando after it was deemed an essential business. orange county mayor said the wrestling entertainment company was not initially considered to be so but the wwe reached out to the governor and it was changed because he said the economy is critical to florida's economy. >> trevor: yes, florida. the governor of florida has officially given the green light to the wwe as an essential business. there is one thing, though -- since the wrestling has been

taping during corona, the story lines have gotten pretty weird. >> hhh, i saw you touching your face, and you didn't wash your hands! you are about to pay! i'm gonna flatten your curve! >> trevor: now, what's really interesting is, initially, the wwe wasn't considered essential but then they reached out to the governor, and we actually have footage of the wwe negotiating with the governor. >> the governor sabt to get into it with the wwe! >> this could be anyone's match! rollings is assaulting desantis! oh, that's got to hurt! how much can one politician take? what is going on here? >> trevor: all right, that's it for the ra the ray of sunshi.

let's get into the headlines. because how new it is, scientists are learning new things about the coronavirus -- how you can catch it, how you can spread it, how you can hurt its feelings by saying it's just like the flu -- that one hits here -- and now a new c.d.c. study says that coronavirus could be spreading on the bottom of our shoes. except, of course, for crocks. even coronavirus doesn't want to touch those but, yeah, this is real. they say coronavirus could be spreading on the bottom of our shoes. so as a precaution, i would recommend that everyone keep their shoes as clean as possible. i'm talking black teenager levels. that's how clean your sneak, should be. meanwhile, while some countries around the world have managed to get coronavirus under control, others who took too long to act are now struggling. russia is one of those countries. and they are now dealing with a sudden surge of new cases. in fact, it's gotten so bad that president vladimir putin has

openly admitted -- openly admitted -- that "we have a lot of problems and we don't have much to brag about." and, in my opinion, this is the biggest reason we need to defeat coronavirus because not only is it killing people and destroying economies, it's even making vladimir putin insecure. hell, he's even started covering up when he rides his horse. it's just not the same. while russia is dealing with its first outbreak, south korea might be dealing with part two. authorities in that country are now saying coronavirus has reactivated in more than 100 patients who had already tested negative for the virus. i'm sorry, guys, but this is bullshit. gone out of the people and now it's coming back? how are you going to do that, corona? how are you going to come back for the sequel before the first movie is even over? like thanos popping up during the first iron man, hey, it's

me! don't snap those fingers! we have to meet "black panther" and thor and i think there's a e bow and arrow guy, he's like a fan and get to tag along -- we've got to meet loot of people. see, this is where the coronavirus messed up because if drova is trying to start up again, that means we already know it's moves. so this time we're going to protect tom hanks. this time we're going to get the extra ventilators we need and this time i'm going to kidnap my barber before we get locked down so i don't look like i have been lost at sea for two years. look at me! that's it for the headlines. let's get into the big story. from the moment coronavirus started to affect the united states, you could tell that president trump was deeply concerned that this pandemic would have hurt his ability to brag about the economy, and that's why, from the first day the country was shut down, trump

has been asking one question -- when can we open this mother (~bleep ) back up? >> with nearly 17 million americans filing unemployment claims in the last three weeks the president is eager to open the country again for business by may 1. >> i call it the opening our country task force or opening our country council. i'm going to have to make a decision, and i only hope to god that it's the right decision, but i would say, without question, it's the biggest decision i've ever had to make. >> trevor: yes, the biggest decision trump has ever had to make. even bigger than when he had to decide whether to abort eric or let him finish high school. now, the president isn't wrong, figuring out when to open the country is an extremely complicated decision, all right. for one, experts have warned that if the country is opened too soon, we could experience a second wave of coronavirus by july or even august.

because corona might seem like it's finished, but if we're not careful, all of a sudden, it can come back even stronger, you know. think of coronavirus like that one singer in a black church -- ♪ was blind but now i see thank you so much. ♪ oooh, oooh, oooh >> thank you. ♪ i see ♪ i see and here's another thing, medical experts have warned that sufficient testing, it's hard to send everyone back into the world because you will have no way to know who has the virus and who's already immune. and let's be honest, right now, america is still worse attesting than aunt becky's kids. okay, now, one solution that is being looked at by some country is what's being called an immunity passport which would allow people who have already survived coronavirus to move around freely.

that's a pretty decent idea but the only concern is that if people who have had corona can move around freely, then some people might want to get the virus intentionally so they can also move around freely, all right? it makes sense. it's the same way everyone rushes to lose their virginity at prom so they get to hang out with the cool kids at college. there are a lot of things to consider here. president trump says he's going to bails his decision to reopen the economy on "a lot of facts and a lot of instincts, also." this is the same guy whose insirveghts told him to look directly into the sun during an eclipse. ( as trump ) for all we know, it might give you superpowers. no one's ever done it, have you ever asked why? on coronavirus specifically, trump's instincts have been wrong from the start. yesterday at his daily presser, trump was asked what he did to prepare for corona during the month of february. and he very angrily couldn't

come up with an answer. >> reid: the argument is that you bought yourself some time and you didn't use it to prepare hospitals, you didn't use it to ramp up testing. >> trump: you're so -- you're so -- you're so disgraceful -- it's so disgraceful, the way you say that. >> reid: americans are dead. supposed to make people -- >> trump: i just went over it. >> reid -- in an unprecedented crisis. >> i just went over it. nobody thought we should do it, and when i did it -- >> reid: but what did you do with the time that you bought? >> trump: you know what we did? >> reid: in february. >> trump: you know what we did? what do you do when you have no case in the whole united states? >> reid: you had cases in february. >> trump: excuse me. you reported it, zero cases, zero deaths on january 17th. >> reid: january, the entire month of february. a. >> i said in january. >> what about that gap, what did you do in february from the time that your travel ban -- >> trump: a lot, and we'll give you a list. what we did, in part of it was here. we did a lot. look, you know you're a fake. we know that.

your whole network, and the way you covered is fake. and not all of you -- let the people who are wise to you -- that's why you have a lower approval rating than you've ever had before times three. >> trevor: okay that -- that was a master class in dodging the question. trump pulled every single trick in the book. he said he'll give the proof later. he then tried to change the topic and he even called the reporter a fake. i feel like he was two seconds away from just pretending he doesn't speak english. sorry, folks, no hablas ingles. so few hablas, zero hablas. luckily, the truth is that america doesn't really need to rely on the president's instincts here. governors are the ones who lock down their states and governors are the ones who will decide when the to open the states back up. in fact, yesterday, governors on both the east coast and the west coast formed multi-state pacts to decide together when to open the economy up, and this is actually a brilliant idea in the absence of leached from the

white house. this is truly a brilliant idea. in fact, when i think about it, all the states should just join up. yeah, think about it. all the states should join up, and they should work in unison with each other, you know, like they could call it the -- the together states -- in america. goddam that's brilliant. i've got to write that down. now, when trump heard the states were going to be deciding on whether or not to reopen their economies regardless of their decision, he was quick to remind people his business cards night say president, but y'all better treat him like a king. >> at the white house, president trump made the stunning claim that only he has the power to reopen the country, not individual governors. >> trump: the president of the united states has the authority to do what the president has the authority to do, which is very powerful. the president of the united states calls the shots. they can't do anything without the approval of the president of the united states.

when you say "my authority," the president's authority, not mine. it's not me. when you say the president of the united states, the authority is total. that's the way it's got to be. >> reporter: your authority is total? >> trump: it's total. it's total. >> reporter: what provision in the constitution gives the president the power to open or close state economies and then -- >> trump: numerous provisions. we'll give you a legal brief if you want. >> trevor: okay, just so we're on the same page, trump is now promised us a list of all the preparations he took in february, and an explanation of why he has total power as the president. and i'm assuming he'll deliver all of those pieces of paper when he sends over his tax returns and his high school report on "to kill a mockingbird." yeah, at this point, trump has more pages to release than george r.r. martin. where's the final book, george? you have been stuck at home with nothing else to do! no more excuses, george. i'm going to come find you and ask you this question in person. this is not a threat.

and you know it's crazy how throughout this crisis trump has been pushing responsibility on to the governors at every opportunity, that's what he's been doing, find your own ventilators, negotiate for your own p.p.e., you tilsit sens to stay at home. that's not my job. but now -- now that it's getting close to that time when america might be reopening the economy, all of a sudden he's, like, me, me, i get to push the button, that's me, i get to do it. but the truth is, donald, if you're not there for the battle, you don't get to lead the victory parade. we'll be right back. right now, get free delivery at chipotle.

with a delivery kitchen in almost every restaurant, real food comes straight to your door. it's chipotle, delivered fast, fresh, and personalized just for you. order in the app for free delivery. "the daily distancing show." with most of us stuck in our homes, video chatting is more popular than ever. but just like with anything, video chatting comes with its own social rules, and expectations. and luckily for all of us, our accordance here at the show have put together this handy guide

for all of you to learn a little bit of video chatting etiquette. >> thanks to coronavirus, everyone has taken up video chatting, from business meetings, happy hours, sometimes both at the same time. but how do we navigate this brave new world? here's dos and don'ts for all of those about to video chat. >> don't begin a work call by asking age, sex, location. >> do make sure the camera is pointed directly as your face. nobody wants to look up a disgassing nose. >> do remember to smile. >> for business calls, make sure that your name is accurate and professional, like mine. >> do mute yourself if you're not talking, like so. see? now you can't hear me. hey, shut the (~bleep ) up! i'm trying to record! >> don't video chat with someone you actually do not want to talk to. what excuse are you going to use to get off the phone? you're busy? up in of us are. that's a lie.

>> dude, check in with your friends like i'm going to check in with jaboukie. he's busy again. >> don't blink. don't ever blink. blinking is a weakness. >> don't use your adorable dog as a prop to distract your co-workers from the fact that you didn't prepare for the meeting, like at all. am i right? who's the fluffy guy? >> do your own makeup. it's okay to look good! get into it! the lips, girl! >> if it's a work call, do make sure you're paying attention. there's nothing more embarrassing than repeating what a co-worker just said. >> that's right, roy, do make sure you're paying attention, because there's nothing more embarrassing than repeating what the last person said. >> if you absolutely have to use the bathroom, take us in there. we're bored! >> don't forget to leave your door unlocked so your kid can wander in and do something viral. hey, bud, smother yourself in tomato sauce and get over here. now. >> okey-dokey, that about does

it. don't forget to exit the cal when you're done. thanks. i'm glad that thing's over. >> trevor: thanks, everyone. when we come back, i'll be talking to christina koch, an american astronaut who just got back to earth after eleven months in space. so if anyone can teach us about social distancing, it's going to be here. don't go anywhere. we'll be right back. isn't just a department. it's a voice on the other end of the phone. a note to say you're on our mind. a willingness to come to you. the world and how we interact with each other is changing. but that will never change who we are at lexus.

now, more than ever, you and your needs come first. find out what service options are available in your area at lexus.com/people first

"the daily distancing show." earlier today, i spoke with u.s. astronaut christina koch. check it out. christina koch. welcome to "the daily distancing show." and i guess more importantly, welcome back to earth. >> thank you very much. it is great to be with you, and it's great to be back on earth, too. >> trevor: you were out in space for the longest mission that a female astronaut has ever ever undertaken. you have now since returned. was there a little part of you that regrets coming back, with everything that's going on in the world? >> you know, i have to feel a little part of me always wishes i were in space. i've felt that since i was young, actually my entire life. but it's great to be back on earth. i wouldn't trade it for the world. i will say living through this is probably one of the most amazing things i will have lived through. would never have wished for it to happen, but see hough people are coming together is a great thing to witness in person. >> trevor: let's talk about

your journey in space and then coming home. spending eleven months in space is no easy undertaking, especially because of what happens to your body. i remember when i went to visit n.a.s.a., they told me what happens to thenauts physically, mentally. you have to try to work out in zero gravity. a lot of it actually sounded like social distancing, what we have to do here on earth. how to you prevent yourself from going stir crazy when you're stuck in that small environment for so long? >> definitely. i think it's all about how you frame it in your attitude. like now what we're going through. for me was to put the right repeat in my head. if i said, man, i wish i could have a latte or something ridiculous, and replace it about something unique about now that i'll never have anything -- wow, i'll be bummed out when won't be able to see the aurora's in space anymore. so instead of, when is this

going to be over, you're savoring every moment. >> trevor: at home we have to sit here and think about the positives. oh, wow, i will be so sad when i have to hug people i don't like anymore. >> that's right. for introverts, you can think of that. >> trevor: keep the positive thinking going. you made history in more than one way out in space because not only were you the first woman to spend as long as you did in space on a mission, you also embarked on the first all-female spacewalk which made headlines because for us on earth it was mind blowing when we found out there couldn't be an all-woman spacewalk before because the spacesuits weren't designed for different body types which is strange to discover. you think n.a.s.a. has everything, and that seemed like a giant oversight. did it feel like history when you were doing this, or was it just a mission and it sunk in when you got home? >> i would say it sunk in after the spacewalk. jessica and i were honored to be

able to do that. it's a really demanding thing mentally and physically. you're in the space suit for 12 hours straight, dork hard work in the space suit for seven hours straight, so there wasn't any time for being, i guess, concerned with some of the other aspects of what we were doing. i think we recognized it. we took that moment to take it in. i'll never forget when we both came out of the air lock we caught each other's eyes and knew what we were doing and it was a special moment but then we got down to work. so afterwards, realizing the outpouring of support and people were paying attention, it was inspiring people, that's where we were able to take a step back and realize what a huge honor it was to honor those who paved the way for us and hopefully inspire the next generation. >> trevor: i've always wanted to know this from an astronaut but i don't get to talk to many you have because there's only, like, ten of you, is earth more beautiful during the day or at night when you're looking at it from space? is. >> hard to pick just one.

i would say the earth itself is more beautiful when you're on the day lit side, but the universe and the cosmos and everything you can see outside the earth including the auroras above the atmosphere is probably more dazzling during the night passes. >> trevor: so where to next? you've now gone out into space for this long, when you look at n.a.s.a. and programs, when you look at what the astronauts are look to, what is your vision personally and what are you looking to next as part of the great space collective? what do you hope to achieve? >> my favorite part about being on board on the space station is contributing and giving back. i'm going it through debriefs. staying with n.a.s.a., contributing to human space flight is what i'm interested in doing. n.a.s.a. is working on the artemis program, getting people back on the moon and having sustained presence there, and taking that and capitalizing on it investing further and going

deep into space, probably mars in the not too different future, we're looking at landing on the moon by 2024. commercial launches, launching from the u.s. getting astronauts to and from the space station. taking sciences and applying it to earth and the future missions, it's an exciting time to be a part of it. >> trevor: you just made it sound like it's going to be the most exciting time when in fact we're already living in the most exciting time so you made me more excited for the things that are happening and going to happen. thank you so much for joining us today. enjoy social distancing with us and thank you for giving us at perspective. >> absolutely. thank you. been great to be with you. >> trevor: that's our show for today. before we go, though, if you are able to help people going hungry in this country because of the pandemic, please consider donating to "feeding america." they are supplying food to millions of people in america. you've probably seen the pictures of the cars lining up online. they're feeding these people every day and they could really use your help.

even a dollar can help somebody get a meal. anyway, stay safe out there, wash your hands and remember, the only thing you really need to stock up on is love. and canned tuna. and probably toilet paper. and, like, water and things and -- anyway, i'll see you tomorrow. here it is, your moment of zen. >> unfortunately, i would say we're still pretty early in this, it's the first couple of rounds ( phone ringing ) >> sorry about that. >> we're all learning these different video devices. >> the biggest -- ( ringing ) god... i'm so sorry. >> yeah, go ahead. >> okay, this is probably the worst interview i've had, i apologize, because i forgot the apologize, because i forgot the question. captioning made possible by comedy central