- that would have been funny. - that would have been funny. - but the count is purple, and oscar wears purple. - oh, oh, i was just watching that. did you do that, man? "oscar. i am the count." nailed him. nailed him. good work, cookie monster. - thank you. >> trevor: hey, everybody, what is going on, welcome to another episode of the daily social distancing shoavment i'm trevor noah and today is observationally day 42. day 42 of us staying inside to try and prevent the spread of coronavirus. and here's eur quarantine tip of the day. if you are feeling lonely right now or maybe are you starved for con ver saying-- kmption, now say good time to finally answer the spam calls you have been hearing for years. >> hello, my credit card is hacked. yeah, i will give you my social security number. but first i have to tell you about what happened this weekend. so remember how sarah said she was never going to call me again? well, it turns out that coronavirus-- hello? >> anyway, on tonight's episode we learn why men can't be trusted with grocery shopping.

roy wood, jr. brings the barbershop experience home and president trump gets medical advice from mr. clean. so let's get into it. welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> trevor: what we do every day can sometimes feel like hanging out in a public bathroom. st dark, scary and it is really-- so st always good for us to get some fresh air with a little ray of sunshine. right, first up, in various cities around the world people trapped in their homes have been leaning out of their windows every single night to applaud health care workers for feeting nonstop to keep people alive. but in london one man tried to raise funds to fight coronavirus has decided to take things to the next level. and he clapped in his home for

24 hours straight. which is instain. 24 hours of clapping. i mean i get tired just clapping for an encore. all right, i have clapped for ten seconds. either come out or don't. i'm tired now. my question is if you are going to clap for 24 hours, what type of clap do you need, do you use a wimbledon clarntion the pelosi clap, inspirational clap tepped of the movie, you know, or we are proud of them because they're black. and remember you have o to keep your energy up the entire -- entire timed because you if get tired and lose form then it just looks sar cass particular, great jorks doctor, we're so proud. no i'm just tired. >> you might think i'm overthinking things but check out this video of prince charles and camila also clapping for health care workers tand is not going well.

okay, i feel like harry and meghan saw that video and they left the family all over again. seriously y did it look so awkward. it looked like this was the first time they investor clapped in their livers. is this supposed to hurt this much. the only thing i have ever touched is teacup. ,out,out. >> i will say as him arious-- hilarious as this was fours, this is probably what people look like to the royal family when we try to figure out what fork to use. and finally as shut downs have, well, shut down our liver, people are finding innovative ways to keep their traditions going. from online funerals to online bridal showers. and even to the world's first virtual bris. yeah, turns out st really hard to circumcise a baby when are you not in the same state as them. well now high schoolers have jumped in and they are adapting prom season to the age of corona. >> in a normal year teenagers around the country would be getting ready for high school prom but there is no prom to be

had this year. however some families are coming up with some creative ways to keep this rite of passage alive. >> some seniors are still dressing up, photographers are capturing students in formal wear to mark the occasion. >> the high school held a virtual prom for their students on zoom over the weekend. formalwear was not required. one of the faculty meks act the as the prom dj. students also voted for prom king and queen, making prom memories at home. this couple dined in the backyard. and there teen's dad and grandpa were her dance partners. >> a-w. speak speaking of grandpa at prom is one the sweetest thing i have severe seen. normally the oldest person is r. kelly, i think virtual prom is an amazing idea because the real winner are the kids who don't have prom dates because now no one has a date. which means everyone has to stay home, yeah. so the ones who couldn't get dates feel normal instead of living their whole livers wondering why sheryl said no and

went with her cousin instead, i mean her could you sifnlt whatever, man, prom is stupid, is what nie friends said when it happened to him, not me. so that is your ray of sunshine. let's jump to the headlines. all around the world we're finally seeing signs of life at the end of the corona tinl. the prime minister of new zealand declared that the virus is effectively eliminated in her country. italy has reported its lowest number of daily deaths since march 12th. and in spain, children are now allowed to play outside for the first time in six weeks. and i'm surprised that spain has just let all their kids out at once like that. like i thought they would do it little by little, you know, tapas style. i will say this, after coronavirus everything with tags sses more high stakes than ever f you thought it was bad before, but this is great news for spain. because in france kids still aren't allowed to go outside. except for their cigarette break

but then straight back inside to finish their wine. mami. meanwhile? japan the mayor of osaka has come under fire after he said that quote men are better suited for grocery shopping during the pandemic because women take too long. to me it almost sounds like this mayor is projecting his personal life into his public announcement. women take too long when they are shopping. and women also don't do the dishes even though it is their turn because my turn was yesterday and as a government we need to fix this. like i really don't understand, why would you say this? because yes, fine, i will admit it, men do tend to be faster when we shop for groceries. but stoanl because we go in without a plan. yeah. women waste time getting shopping carts and baskets. men save time because we only buy what we can carry in our arms. and women spend so much time trying to get the exact right thing.

men are just like hey, babe, they are out of soy milk so i just got soy sauce and regular milk. we can just mix them, rights strkts same thing, right. final headlines takes us to south africa the land of nelson mandela. ving it uvu sphwhrrks ella late height toss cyril ramaphosa received international phrase for the country response to covid-19 but one thing that wasn't as efficient was when he tried to put on a mask during a fp press briefing. >> ramaphosa announced a partial reopening. but the south african president's second national address in a week was overshadowed by a mask malfunction. as he urged south africans to wear masks ramaphosa struggled with his own prompting hashtag cyril mask challenge to trend in south africa. >> trevor: okay, i can't tell if he doesn't know how to use a mask or if he doesn't know what part of his face is the mouth s

it here, is it here, this kind, which s this, my favorite part was the sign language translate, cuz you don't need to know sign language to understand that this means you done [bleep] up. but i will say the president's credit he took all of this in his stride. >> well, for those who were laughing at me yesterday, for those who were laughing at me, let me tell you something. i when you open the tv channel where i am going to teacher people how to put on a mask. so you can enroll however to put on. >> trevor: see now that, that is cool. a leader who can admit he got something wrong and he has a sense of humor about it because let's be honest, if this was trump, not only would he have said he wore the mask 100 percent correctly but everyone else would have to start wearing the mask that way from then on.

and speaking of trump, let's kawch on the president's latest shenanigans in our continuing coverage of the pandemic. from the beginning of this crisis donald trump has been saying a lot of not smart things. he said the coronavirus would disappear like a miracle. he said people had nothing to lose by experimenting with hydroxychloroquine, and he even said that the virus can't see you if you don't move, he was confusing it with jurassic park. but a few days ago as you probably heard by now president trump created shock waves of stupidity with his latest and probably greatest unlicensed medical opinion yet. >> president trump offering new but unproven suggestions of how to kill covid-19 in patients using uv rays and injecting disinfect ant such as bleach and alcohol. >> supposing we hit the body with a tremendous-- whether st ultraviolet or just very

powerful light. and i think you said that leantd been jekded but are you going test it and then i said supposing you brought the light inside the body, which you can do either through the skin or in some other way. and i think you said are you going to test that too. sounds interesting. and then i see the disinfect ant that knocks it out in a minute, one minute. and is there a way we can do something like that, by injection inside or almost a cleaning, so that you are going too have to use medical doctors with. but it sounds-- it sounds interesting to me. >> trevor: this is maybe the first time in documented history that we have seen someone not thinking out loud, injecting disinfect ent into your body? this is the probably the problem when its dumbest person in the room think thes are the splartest. trump is like nev ill longbottom but with herminoe confidence. i don't even blame him there is

no way he understands what even bleech is. do you think donald trump ever cleaned anything in his life, ever used disinfect ent. cleaning supplies might as well be magical positions to him. >> i dropped a hamburger on the carpet, then some mexican lady came in with some clorox, sprayed it on the carpet, said some spell in spanish and then it was gone. now as crazy as the disinfect ant line was, i don't think we should be so quick to dismiss trump's uv light idea am because trump spends most of his time under uv light. and other than looking like hickory smoked bacon, he is the healthiest man in the wompletd i mean he even outlived kim jung-un, a plan half his age. plof me wrong, kim, if are you still alive, follow me back on twitter 6789 now if you have random guy with 12 followers, you can say shit like and and it doesn't maryt. you can say whatever you want about coronavirus. but doonld trump is not just some random guy. donald trump was the star of celebrity apprentice.

people listen to what he says. so his suggestion about indiswrecting people with a disinfect ent has had a massive fallout. >> the suggestion of ingesting disinfect ant, something that would be dang rouges and even deadly has sparked a backlash. lie sol parent company issued a statement saying quote under no circumstances should our disinfect ent products be administered into the human body. >> we have heard from emergency management in various states that they have had a remarkable yup tick in the number of calls mostly thankfully from people who are just calling to stee whether st true whether she should consume or ingest disinfect ent. >> we had hundreds of calls in our hotline here in maryland about people asking about ingect-- injecting or ingesting these disinfect ents which is, you know, hard to imagine that people thought that that was serious. but people actually were thinking about this, was this something could you do to protect yourself. >> yep, this is where we are

now. authorities have to respond to the president's ideas, the same way they do to viral tiktok drn drn another people were actually calling, calling their local health departments to ask if they should try to cure themselves with disinfect ent. because that means that even the people who are dumb enough to drink bleach are still smart enough not to trust something donald trump says. i mean i was going to do it, but now that he said it, i'm not so sure. as always when trump says something insane about the coronavirus, it puts his team of doctors in a tight spot. because they have to try and correct him without embarrassing him. and no one tries larder than dr. birx. >> you didn't believe the president was putting anybody in danger, did you? >> no, and he gets new information, he like totion talk that through outloud. and really have that dialogue. and so that is what dialogue he was having. i think he just saw the

flfertion at the time, immediately before the press conference and he was still digesting that information. >> trevor: bravo, dr. birx. bravo. st a great defense to not use the word "dumb" but just describe what being dumb is to describe trump. she's like no, of course the president is not a stupid man. he is just a man approximate who thinks that night happens when god turns the sun off. well, dr. birx was trying to soften the blow, most of trumps defenders were doubling down. >> oh, you liberals minutessed the point. trump is thinking outside the box. this is actually a genius idea, when you think about it. this was priceless. after trump supporters spent the entire day defending him, the president went back on tv to make his fans look like idiots too. >> is would you clarify your comments bh about injection of disinfect ent. >> no, i was sck a question sar castically to reporters like

you, just to see what would happen. now disinfect ent was doing this maybe on the hands would work. and i was asking the question of the gentleman who was there yesterday, bill. but i was asking a sar cass particular n a very sar cass particular question to the reporters in the room, about disinfect ent on the inside. but it does kicialtion and it would kill it on the hands and that would make things much better. that was done in the form of a sar cass particular question to the reporters. >> trevor: come on. we all saw trump's presser. we all know it wasn't sar cass. it is when you make fun of something by saying the opposite of what you mean. you can't use it as an excuse for when you mess up, my final answer is b. i am sorry, that is wrong. i was just being sarcastic. that that was my final answer. wowr, i'm going go with c. >> actually sarcasm again. let's try a, and if not a,

sarcasm means d with. and my favorite part the excuse is how he tried to have it both ways at the same time he says his suggestion was s arcastic but also goes on to explain why it makes sengs. trump suggests injecting bleech the way others are suggestion a threesome. >> obviously i'm joke, but like no, it was just a joke, come on. you're all i need. and johnny. just joking. . >> trevor: mow we learned something new from donald trump. while the nation is chewing into-- tuning in for accurate information, trump is just testing out his newest comedy material and pulling everyone's leg. >> supposing we hit the body with a trum does, whether st ultraviolet or just very powerful light. and then i said suppose ug brought the light inside the body, which you can do, either through the skin or in some other way. and when i see the

disin-- disinfectent knocks it out in a minute, one minute, and is there a way we can do something like that by injeksz inside or almost a cleaning, cuz you see it gets in the lungs and it does a tremendous number on the lungs, it would be interesting to check. >> the one upside is that donald trump has given americans the perfect execution, the perfect execution because when all thrf is over, and other countries are asking americans how the hell did you elect donald trump, and americans are like no, deutd, dude, we were just being sar cass particular. coming up, roy wood, jr. has tip force getting a haircut at home so stick around. we'll be right back. the fighting spirit is one we all share. amanda nunes wears hers with pride. from standing up for herself against the doubters, to being the only woman in her mma training gym...

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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily social distancing show. one of the small but real things that quarantining has forced us all to give up is geght our haircut. and while foregoing the barbershop say struggle for everyone, for black men in particular it say different kind of sacrifice, roy wood, jr. has more. >> thanks, i have been quarantined for bay month, my hair has been locked up for about five, i need to get a layer cut. i mr. calling my barber. >> what's up, big homie. >> what's going on, man, how are you doing, how is the quarantine. >> everybody good, family is healthy. you know, nice being able to.

>> very unfortunate, back to me. >> how you can teach me to cut my hair in two minutes. >> i can teach you a little something. first. >> don't mess me up, look at my hair line, i hasn't got full haircut left. >> first you need to get some good clippers and good lighting. >> i got this, i got that. >> we i'm ready to re-create the black barbershop experience right here. i got everything. >> you what got. >> i got the mirror. clirps. >> okay. >> i got the comb, plus that mouthwash you put it in. >> that ain't what we use. >> listerine, combs in blue mouthwash. >> no, that is no mouth cash, that is is supposed to disinfect the combs. >> you telling me that this is good enough to disinfect my mouth but not a comb. >> i don't know, man. >> if i'm going cut my hair in my own house i want the

authentic black barbershop experience. >> i even god the sandwich that y'all be nibbling on while you cut a person's hair. >> a good barber don't eat while he cutting hair. >> you telling me you ain't never seen a barber nibbling on fries in a carry out box. >> but fla sun professional. >> and that phone with a super long code so you can talk tie girl. >> roy, stop it i'm going to show you how to cut hair. all you need to be worried about. the first thing you need to do is take the number two guard and establish a line. >> establish a line. >> kobe or lebron, you have to let people know where you stand immediately. >> gnaw, nah, that ain't what i am talking about, the line for the fade, that is where you start your fairksd you start blending. >> how about just a haircut, i'm trying to re-create the black barbershop experience. if i can't argue about random shit

what is the point of going to the barbershop. >> well, see that is the thing. you can't get the black barbershop experience at home. because being at the shop is about community. being able to communicate and talk to people and get stuff off your chessmentsd you can't get that at home. >> oh, like therapy. >> without a doubt. >> therapeutic for the barber and the customer. >> do you come over and cut my air swoa can argue about covid and lebron. >> too dangerous t ain't worth the risk. >> so barbers are risking their livers just to give somebody a fade. what can we do to help you. should we venmo our barber some money if we feel like it. >> you can could do that but at the end of the day the best thing you can do to help barbers is to stay at home, keep with the social distance sog we can end this quarantine as stoon as possible and all get back to work. >> that's right, but in the mean time, man. would you mind doing me a favor. >> sure, i got you. >> just tell me who you any is better, kobe approximate or lebron.

>> let me tell you something, a lot of people give kobe credit. kobe won all of those rings to shaq. those championships were handed to him. >> keep going, keep going. >> let me tell you something, they always talk about big e, biggie didn't have the catalog-- tupac had. >> trevor: thank you so much, roy. when we come back, my guest will be atlanta mayor keisha lance bottoms who is objecting to her state's reopening of the economy. we'll discuss that with her we'll discuss that with her right after the break. ♪i'm always walking to the same old place♪ ♪just in case i see your face♪ ♪i may be acting crazy now it's getting late♪ ♪they took my heart away ♪but i'll be okay, 'cause♪ ♪in my dream world ♪i'm still your dream girl ♪ooh, i'm still your dream girl♪

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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily social distancing show, earlier today i got the clans to speak to the mayor of atlanta. keisha lance bottoms. she recently went on the record o poation the governor of georgia's plan to reopen the economy last week. we talked about that and more. so check it out. >> mayor keisha lance bottoms thank you so much for joings on

the daily social distancing show. >> thank you for having me it san honor to join you. >> trevor: it is an interesting time specifically in georgia right now because you have a governor who has decided to be in many ways the pilot program for america opening up way seern than a lot of people thought any places should open up. you have come out and have been very vocal against kemp opening up the state of georgia but you are the mayor of atlanta. tell us why you are so against this, even though the governor said he considered it and thinks its time to reopen. >> the irony is the governor and i have a very good working relationship. he is a republican governor. i am of course a democrat. and so we cross the aisles quite a bit to work together. but this is something that i feel very strongly about because lives are at stake. and i would say repeatedly and i will say it again, this is one that i hope that i'm wrong on this. and that he is right. because if he is wrong, people

will die, and this is, just can't remain silent in speaking up against what i think is a premature decision to allow our state to open back up and continue business as usual. bowling alleys, movie theaters, there is nothing essential about those businesses. and i understand there is a huge economic strain on so many business owners. and that is very real. but we're balancing that in life, and we don't get to pick and choose who gets infected, and how severe their illness will be. and when one person is infected then it's an entire community and that, and have i spoken up against the governor on this. >> now many people who support the governor or the governor himself have argued that opening upstates like georgia isn't as bad as it may be in a place like new york because people are able

to maintain a certain level of distance between each other. they've argued that people can still be responsible even though the states have opened up. do you think this is a balance between the two worlds or do you think this is something that wasn't thought out enough before jumping too action. >> absolutely not. and that's why it was so frustrating that the governor didn't defer to local control and local decision making on this. because atlanta is a part of a larger metropolitan area so we have bh 500,000 residents in atlanta but the metropolitan atlanta area is around 6 million people. that's a lot of people in a very small space. and so you know, this notion that we are georgia of 1920 is not realistic. we are a major american city. we have the world's bus ye airport and so it's not possible

for us to complete plee-- completely separate and distance ourselves, when you talk about barbershops and hair salons, particularly comeumghts of color, there is one on every corner. i read an article today that southern states are bearing the brunt and will bear the brunt of covid-19 in a way that will be unprecedented compared to the rest of the country, in large part because of the underlying health conditions, the poverty rates and all of these things that are making this disease more deadly. and it is concerns me deeply but we will know in the next two to four weeks if this social/health experiment was a brilliant idea or if it was the absolute worst thing that could have happened. >> trevor: now you are the mayor of atlanta so obviously you are in a tricky situation or tricky spot because you know, the governor has issued these orders. and you also have power as a mayor.

where do you think, where do you think your power ends and where do you think his begins. because you are trying to figure out who to listen to. if somebody say resident of georgia, if they are a resident of atlanta, they have the two of you but they are trying to figure out who to listen to. how do you think people should navigate that. >> well, this is something i'm and a half gailting for myself. he is the governor and he has authority throughout this state. he went out of his way to say that his orders would take precedence over anything that we could do locally. but have i the power in my voice, is the reason that i am talking with you, it is the reason i have been speaking every opportunity that i get to let people know that i disagree with this order. and i know in atlanta where we are shall where there are a number of people of color, that this could be catastrophic for our community. i think that it's wrong. >> you have people who on one side of the argumentave been

saying you know, places like nail salons, barbershops, et cetera, dobts need to be open. there have been people who freak those places or people who own them or work in them who say yes, but these are the small businesses that are the lifeblood of many of our small communities. and you are in a unique position because your mom owns a nail salon. so you were praised in that world, in that ecosystem for yourself. so if you were speaking to somebody who owned a nail salon, if you were speaking to somebody who works in one and they say to you, you know, mayor, i completely hear what you are saying but i need to earn money now, i need to get back out there so i can pay my bills, what would you say to them? >> well, and it was a hair what salon that my mother owned for almost 25 years. and i would say what my mother says to me often. you have to live to fight another day. this would have been devastating for our family because my mother was a single parent and swe relied heavily and solely on what she brought into our household for a very long period of time.

so i get it. i understand it. but i also know that there would have been nothing more important to me as a child and to my mother as the bread winner in our household that she be healthy and whole. and what i continue to look at is history. we've been through the great depression. we've been through recessions. we've been through pandemic. in this nation. and generations have gotten to the other side of it. it wasn't always comfortable. and it wasn't-- but when you exercise good sense, and when you just stay focused on what the end goal is, i know that we will get to the other side of it. and what we know looking at countries across the globe is that the way that they've been able to flaten their numbers is to be very deliberate in keeping people separated. and our numbers in this state are continuing to rise daily.

our death rates are continuing to rise and we aren't testing people and we may have beds to offer to people but it is like we are saying to people, yeah, go bowling and if you get sick, i have a bed for you. that makes no sense to me. >> trevor: what would you recommend to people in terms of reopening. when would they go. because some team feel like there is no light at the end of the tunnel. some may say i understand that now is not the right time but when would you think the right time should be or could be? >> i think we just have to wait a few more weeks. and we can look at what shaping in new york, we can look at what is happened in washington and we can look at other places and see that there is light at the end of the tunnel if you stay the course. but we are not giving ourselves an opportunity to even get a telephone glimpse of the light because we're taking five steps backwards and i think that is

why it is incumbent upon us and leaders. you have to put money, you have to make it easy for these small businesses to access loans. i was looking at an interview with a barber who says i know i'm putting my health at risk. if i had money in my pocket. if i had gotten one of those small business loans i would not have-- no, that say very bad situation and choice that we are making. people have to balance. and so i think our energy as leadsers is better spent not rushing to open up but figure out ways like we are doing in atlanta. we started a cosmetology relieve fund. we are asking people to contributed to that fund. take that $15 or $50 would you have spent get yrg hair done, put it in that relief fund so we can put money in people's pockets so they don't have to choose between their life and opening up their business. >> trevor: it really is a tough choice people have to make

right now because even though it's only been for many people a month, it feels like there is no end in sight so they have to start preparing for the worst because most people are only one pay check away from not being able to afford their lives. as the mayor i know you have limited power but is there anything the city of atlanta is or can do right now or anything you wish the federal government would be focusing on more to help residents of cities like yours. >> so we are going to continue to do what we have been doing in atlanta to ensure that we can provide services to our residents. i just did now a robocall to our senior residents on today, encouraging theming to sign up for our food delivery program. we are already providing food to our students. we're also have a small business loan program that we hope to expand. i mention the its telephone barbershop relief fund. we are trying to be creative that way. we suspended water payments in the city of atlanta so that

people don't have to at least worry about running water. i think those are the things we have stob createssive with and then i will continue to talk to the health experts and follow their recommendations. i am not a medical professional. so my decision making is based on what is being relayed to me as science and data. and when i look at the data, i see that our nrms are still rising. and i look at the science, the science is clear, we have to socially distance yourself. so that is what we will continue to do and i will continue to consult with our public health experts and see if there is anything else that we can do in this city to make it easier for people to stay home during this time. >> mayor, thank you so much for your time. i wish you the best and moapfully as you said the governor is right as opposed to him being wrong but we will see how the story ends. thank you so much for joining us. >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: thank you for your

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choose contactless delivery or new curbside pickup at pizzahut.com t well thration's our show for tonight, but before we go, the covid pandemic has devastated communities around the world. but the international pled kal call is helping those communities rebuild and recovery. so if you are able to help in anyway, and you want to join its global outreach, please donate whatever you can. and if you would like to support the response specifically to new york city where it was so hard hit, please donate to the nyc

health care heroes for providing care packages to our health care workers, hospitals and temporary medical facilities. until tomorrow though, stay safe out there. wash your hands and remember,k any food can be pudding if you wait long enough. now here st, your moment of zen. >> coronavirus, there are so many questions. how is it spread, how do we stop t and most importantly, who is to blame. >> i have been watching fox new force 48 hours straight and i think i'm ready to foxsp plrks ain. okay, first off the world health organize or as i like to call it, the world hells organization. >> rpg communist democrat republic of china. >> with president by the way-- barber george soros. >> coins den if you are chuck schumer but anyway back to doctor fauci. you know where this guy went to medical schoolk i will give you a hint, bar i ma, that's right, littlery clinton, or ace i like to call her, fp

hydroxychloroquine quirle clinton, that is part one, now part five,ing covid-19, more like covid 16, washington legalizes weed and they are the first state hit three months before 4/120. joe biden hedge fund has 3-- meanwhile more people in this country die from-- no, no, no, no. hollywood red kal left wing statistics. >> what do you do it had to to deal with netflix, barack obama who was barack obama's first wife, tell you who it wasn't. >> three gallon juk that expires, what does it stand for, glint what is everyone doing, bakek bread. >> democrats want to vote by quibi. no, not in my-- oh, have i a quevment exactly how many cuomos are there that we know of. it's time to open this chip. every patriotic american should

call their senator and say please, let me back, illuminati credit card mark glirkburg, and the charmin bear the one who wears underwear, bears don't wear underwear. that's right. i think that pretty much summing-- sums everything up and you know who is to blame for coronavirus. bye, everybody. joe biden is adopted. - buenos diaz, erin. - buenos diaz, miguel. [phone rings] - hello, dunder-mifflin. - no, no, no, no. solamente, en español, por favor. i believe that every man, woman, and child in this country should learn how to speak spanish. they are our neighbors to the south, and this would be a healing thing for-- for all of north america. and...i am going on vacation next week to cancun.

buenos diaz, jaime. - buenos diaz, miguel. como estas? [speaking spanish] - ha ha! buenos diaz, dwight! - guten tag, herr michael. - i don't understand why michael is wasting his time with spanish. i have it on very good authority that within 20 years, everyone will be speaking german. or a chinese-german hybrid. - la telefona. - el telefone. michael's having a hard time with the gender part of spanish. so i told him to mark everything with the international symbol for gender. and, um... i should have been more specific. your office is full of genitalia. - [clears throat] oh. eso es lo que dice el. - "that's what he says"? - damn it. ah, angelo. - angela. michael. - yo soy cancun.