ave some color samples for you. and to thank you both for being there when i needed you, i carved your faces into these jack-o-lanterns. ann, it was very hard to capture your beauty, and, ben, you make a sexy pumpkin-- no surprise. love you both. see you later. - okay. - wow. this is amazing. - not bad. what's going on, everybody, welcome to the daily social distancing show, i'm trevor noah trk is thursday august 13th. and here's your coronavirus tip of the day. if schools are reopening in your area, please remember that you have to be a kid to go to school. you can't just show up cuz you miss having friends. anyway, on tonight's episode, why wearing masks could be a crime. sexism is officially on the presidential tuct and what donald trump wants to do in your shower. so let's do this, people. welcome to the daily social distancing show.

>> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world. this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> as we all know the united states is facing unprecedented problems right now. pandemic, economic collapse, racial injustice and on top of all of that americans all over the country are struggling to figure out which hbo they're signed up for. but president trump is laser focused on the most important issue of all. >> the department of energy has taken it upon itself to propose a new rule that would essentially increase the maximum flow of shower heads, and this comes after the president just last week complained about this issue during a tour of the whirlpool manufacturing plant i; ohio, listen to this. >> you go into a new home, you turn on the faucet, no water comes out. you turn on the shower, if you

are luke me you condition wash your beautiful hair properly. you waste 20 minutes longer, please, come out, the water, it dripsk right, you know what i am talking about, they put restricter on it. i got rid of it, i signed it out. >> trevor: whale some of us get our best ideas in the shower, trump gets his only ideas about shower withs. we laugh, with if this whole time low-flow shower heads really were the reasons that trump's hair is so weird. i'm not gonna lie, i don't think i'm prepared to come out looking like aye dehydrated dolly parton but this is what is so frustrate being donald trump. is that he can get stuff done, it is just that he only cares enough to do it if it affects him personally. so america's best hope for beating coronavirus is if trump thinks that one of his kids might get it. no, one of the kids he likes. and by the way, i just don't want to think about trump in the shower. it is like hearing your grandma complain about all the ads on pornhub. no muma.

new that's in my head. but let's move on to the united kingdom. westeros with electricity. in the wake of covid-19, their economy has been one of the hardest hit in the world with their gdp plummeting 20%. but in classic british fashion they are keeping calm and carrying on. >> the u.k.'s first major outdoor concert is offering maybe a glimpse of the future. take a look at this, sam fender performs for 2500 people in person at the virgin money unity arena in new castle this week. the venue was sectioned off into small groups letting fans rock together without getting too close it other groups. the outdoor setup includes 500 separate seating sections with metal fences which are for groups of five to attend and wmp the show. tickets reportedly sold out immediately. >> trevor: yo, massive props to the u.k. for figuring out how to do concerts in the age of corona. because i don't care what you say, that is awesome. although i will say the mash pit

didn't have the same energy, have to figure that out. but still this is the best way to keep socially distant at a concert. i mean it's either this or going to see lou bega perform. there is plenty of elbow room either way, in fact, this is how all concerts should be from now on. even after coronavirus is over. this is the future. though i bet there is still going to be that one asshole blocking everyone's view of the stage by carrying his girlfriend on his shoulder. that doesn't need to be a thing t needs to be ban. it doesn't just ruin the concert for people who can't see, it also discriminates for us guys without lack upper body strength to carry our girls, not everyone has traps, okay. so concerts might be coming back which is really good news. and here's some more good news from overseas. countries in the southern hemisphere are now well into their annual flu season. but it turns out that because people have been social distancing ang wearing masks for coronavirus, they're basically stopping the flu as well. so they got two benefits for the price of one. you know? like how you stop vaping to be

healthier and then you get the added benefit of no longer looking like a douchebag. now there is no guarantee this will happen everywhere but this could be great news for countries in the northern part of the world when their flu season hits in november. although that only happens if people are taking the necessary corona precautions, it looks like in america people might be dealing with corona season, flu season and idiot season. >> the new mask showdown in the sunshine state of florida sheriff is banning his deputies and visitors to his office from wearing face coverings. >> in his order he mandates the 900 deputies an staff on his force not cover their faces for routine work saying in part when you are on duty working as my employee, and representing my office, masks will not be worn. >> and it's not just deputies. the sheriff in marion keuntee florida says anyone from the public who goes inside the sheriff's office must also remove their masks.

>> okay, this is bat shut crazy. a sheriff in florida is banning his deputies and anyone entering the sheriff's office from wearing a mask. i thought the police's top priority was supposed to be keeping people safe. but i guess wearing a mask gets in the way of their actual priority, showing off their sweet pornstaches. i mean you've almost got to admire the balls on this sheriff. everyone is protesting against police shootings and he is like i hear your demands, from now on we will come up with a different way to kill people. what, nobody is getting shot. don't get angry at me. also, this completely undermines the no practicesk movement, right. what do they say, this is america. you can't order me to wear a mask. and now it is like i can order you not to wear a mask. now that is freedom. and speaking of freedom. this next story comes out of belarus. the ukraine of lith yain want. last week the country's autocratic ruler held an election that many election observers say was a sham. but in the country where citizens have largely been

quietly resigned to their fate, this time they rose up. >> authorities in belarus say 6,000 people have been arrested and one person was killed in the violent aftermath of president alex ander lukashenko disputed re-election. >> opposition leaders say the vote was rigged, many had been de taifned or forced to flee the country including the many candidate tikhanovskaya. lukashenko won around 80% of the vote. he had been in power since 1994 and is is considered by many as europe's last dictator. >> what people of belarus to have the freedoms that they are demanding, that they think are in their best interest. we watch the protests. we urge that the nonviolent protestors be protected and not harmed. >> trevor: that's right. belarus should protect its nonviolent protestors the same way america does. unmarked vans. >> and don't get me wrong. these were some strong words. it didn't help when pompeiiee finished by shooting tear gas at reporters either he doesn't remember how america treats

nonviolent protestors or he just forgot to include some winks ifs in his statements with we urge that the nonviolent protestors be protected and not harmed. now it is easy to look at what is happening with elections in belarus and say well, that's just some far away dictator shape, that will never happen in america. but honestly, i think sometimes america gets so caught up in its own exceptionalism that it ignores warnings it could be taking from other countries. you know, if america paid attention to brexit, it would have realized how social media can be used to bam booze el people into voting for crazy candidates who promise to fix everything. if america paid more attention to china, they would have realized the coronavirus is something that could come to this country and screw everything up. as opposed to something that only happens overseas. and if america might think that rigged elections are something that only happens in other places, well in reality it is already starting to rear its ugly head right here. >> president trump's upped the ante in his battle against mail-in voting today. he appeared to say the coet part

outloud d-- quiet part outloud telling fox news why he opposes a funding boost for the postal service. >> they with 3.5 billion dollars for the pail-in votes. okay, universal mail-in ballots. 3-- they want 25 billion dollars, billion for the post office. now they need that money in order to have the post office work so it can take all of these millions and millions of balance ets but if they don't get those two items that means you can't have universal mail-in voting. >> trevor: goddam, i have never seen a villain give away a plan like that without being seaing james bond tied to a chair in front of him thrk is insane. trump got impeached for trying to secretly rig the election and his response is to go i learned my lesson. i won't rig an election in secret ever again. and the truth is this effort to sabotage mail-in voting is a real threat to america's election. if trump gets his way they're

going to have to change all the i voted stickers to end in a question mark, i voted? i guess the one upside of trump telling all of us this right now is it gives americas an opportunity to fight back and prepare. although the downside is that it is tbk to put a lot of tv detectives out of their jobs. >> president trump is making big changes to the u.s. postal service that appear to be slowing down the mail. but one big question remains. why is he doing it. >> in a new interview this morning president trump explicitly says that he is opposing a request for postal service funding, in the new relief package because he wants to stop the expansion of mail-in voting. >> i guess we solved it. the finish your sandwich, i thought i had some time but i guess not. >> trevor: whooo. that was a roller coaster. all right, we have to take a quick break, but when we come back we'll look at how kamala

harris' opponents are pulling out the old sexist play book. out the old sexist play book. so stick around. the new house is amazing. so much character. original crown molding, walk in closets... we do have a ratt problem. ♪ round and round! ♪ with love we'll find a way, just give it time. ♪ at least geico makes bundling our home and car insurance easy. it does help us save. ♪ round and round! ♪ with love we'll find a way, just give it time. ♪ ♪ round and round! ♪ what comes around, goes around. ♪ for bundling made easy, go to geico.com when you order a hot-and-juicy quarter pounder.

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the hardest part is deciding where to start. olive garden we're all family here. daily social distancing show. so tuesday was a big day for the 2020 presidential campaign. the day that mike pence got a brand new tattoo. but also joe biden announced kamala harris as his running mate. and yesterday kamala wasted no time getting into the fight. >> harris also signaled she'll do a vice presidential running mates usually do, aggressively attack the other side. >> the case against done all trump and mike pence is open and shut. his refusal to get testing up and running, his flipflopping on social distancing and wearing masks, his delusional belief that he knows better than the experts. all of that is reason and the reason that an american dies of covid-19 every 80 seconds.

>> trevor: damn, that was brutal. and you know it probably ruined trump's day. >> why is omarosa being so nasty to me, and why is she friends with biden. what happened, folks. >> trevor: but just as kamala immediately went on the attack, conservative media immediately started taking their own shots at her. >> i wouldn't trust kamala harris, i think she's very ambitious. >> she say very mean person, nobody likes her. >> you have sort of a mad woman, i call her, because she was so angry and so-- such hatred is with justice kavanaugh, have i never seen anything like it. >> she comes across as a bit abrasive. i know she can warm things up and be charming. >> i would describe her as a congresswoman ocasio cortez but smarter and without the bartending experience. >> she might look like the full package but when it comes to people judging her, especially

women, i think they feel there is no warmth there. >> trevor: you know what, fox news has a really good point there. americans always want their leaders to be warm. i mean that's why trump won, the dude is so warm he sweats his makeup off. i really don't get the criticism that kamala is too ambitious. i mean how do you get on a presidential ticket if you are not ambitious. what, you think are you going to be sitting at home on the couch and the dnc will come knocking on the door like sir, put down that joint. we need you in the white house. but the big question is why is it that when female candidates run for office, the media starts to bring up ster why types they don't bring up for male candidates, to help us we are joined by dulce sloan. dulce, first off, thank you for taking the time to join us today. >> taking the time? trevor, it's corona, what else am i using my time for. before you called a was organizing my closet in alphabetical order, clows,

cardigan, dresses, you get it, who. >> trevor: who organizes their closet by alphabet, shouldn't you do it by color. >> sergely you-- i'm free, either way dulce i appreciate you because i'm trying to figure out the media coverage of kamala harris. like what do you make of it? >> same bullshit as always, female candidates get covered less like politicians anmore like miss yeufersz contestant, how does she smile, does she look good in a dress. will steve harvey get her name right. >> trevor: why do you think the media has this double standard in politics. >> politics, the double standard is everywhere, have you not been paying attention to this wet ass pussy controversy. >> trevor: you mean why kylie jenner was in the video. >> no, nobody is talking about that goofy girl, i am not talking about the song, but why people are talking about the song, cardie b and megan thee stallion has given us the

sex-- celebrating women owning their sexuality. something men have been doing since adam ate the apple in the garden of eden and got his first bone. >> trevor: i don't remember that part in the bible. >> the point is, male musicians talk about sex all the time. talking about their hard dicks, but when women do it, people are like this is vulgar, inappropriate, what about the children that look up to them. who cares about them damn children. cardi b and megan thee stallion are like the flany, i know it is confusing. two women of color in a really nice house, and you assume aireden and mckenzie are off screen with their mandarin tutor tment a huge double standard. >> trevor: but to play devil's advocate you have to admit it say really graphic song. >> the a repressed patriarchal society when people consider women's pleasure graphic. men don't have to censor their pleasure, drake and bruno mars can sing about eating pussy and getting hard but they still get

invited to different. but if cardi b does, she is a slut taking down society. >> trevor: you know there is another thing, there is something about rap that as soon as some white people hear it, it sounds graphic, you know, just because it is rapment i could be like it is really cool to stay in school, and some white people would be like whoa whoa whoa, calm down sir. so there is always a chance that the problem wasn't the message as much as the fact that it is hip-hop. >> okay, first of all, don't ever do that again. that was offensive for a whole different reason. >> trevor: no, no, i was trying to show when you say something with the flow, how it go. >> no, huh-uh, whatever it was, stop, okay. the point is we don't live in a society that is comfortable with women claiming their sexuality it doesn't matter if it is rap or country. i bet if it was a country music star that sang the same lyrics all these men would still be upset. >> trevor: i don't know about that, dulce. i feel like now you are turning it into a hypothetical argument

oh, what people's reaction would be if a country music star sang the song, like we don't know. >> no, you don't know. but i called my girl margo, a grammy nominated country star to help me prove my point. come on, margot, take it away. >> ♪ ♪ got the mercedes. ♪ put the-- just. ♪ now i'm trying to work it. ♪ i want to go. ♪ i want to get. ♪ i want to show.

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>> see how they like that one dulce. >> damn, dulce, that was actually amazing. i mean still graphic but that was amazing am how did you get margot price to do that. >> you don't know me, trevor. you think i spent all day sitting at home organizing their my closet, i'm doing thing baby, which reminded me, i got to find something that starts with d, bye. >> trevor: see you late e dulce sloan and margot price. i think we've got another hit on my hands, thank you so much for that. when we come back i'll be talking to kenya barris about the controversy surrounding his hit show black-ish. stay tuned. tuuck! you want a walk? come on tucker, let's go. tuck, tuck, do you want a walk boy? tucker, do you want to go out? when the whole family needs an excuse to get out, nutro's clean recipe will help your dog keep up.

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to the daily social distancing show, earlier today i spoke with kenya barris creator of black-ish, recently hullo released an episode of the show that until now had not been allowed to air. so we talked about that and so much more. kenya barris, welcome to the daily social distancing show.

>> thank you so much. what up, trevor, thanks for having me t how are you doing. i love your zoom background, it looks so real. it looks like you've got a really beautiful yard and everything, that is amazing, man. >> i'm actually at a federal pen ten tear,. >> trevor: i want to talk a little bit about the little empire that you have created. that is a paradox, little empire, the empire you created. really spinning off from, you know, from black-ish. you have black-ish, grown-ish, mixed-ish and on netflix black af. how much, i didn't know that there was this much in blackness that could be extracted from black-- like where do we go from this? because i want to join in. i want a piece of the action. >> we are talking about more. we can do south african-ish. but we do have one more coming. >> trevor: you have really done a great job of i think creating experiences and creating shows that speak to the

black experience in i think in a way that not everybody is familiar with. you know, like a lot of shows try and put black in one category, you know, it is either going to be a sad story, either going to be a slave story, only going to be racism or only going to be hip-hop. but in all of your shows you try and tell it in off it's complexities. like you go no, being black is all of these things, with black air you have been picked up for a second season, congratulations, what are you troo iing to do with the show moving forward. >> i want to be relevant, i want to be culturally progressive. i want to say things that haven't been. you know, it was people like-- it was the most polarizing thing i have ever done. and i have to be honest, because of that it was probably one of my favorite things. >> wow. >> because i didn't, in a way that i didn't realize before, but the best way to really start a conversation is to have people disagree. you know, and i think that so often black artists, we are not able to have a conversation that

are not just sort of down the middle. >> i love that, because those kind of conversations were getting created and that is how we move forward. so whatever, you know, we do next season, we want to move the conversation forward. we want to sort of, i remember when you started doing, you know, "the daily show." it was a big change. and it was like you did not try to do an impersonation, you did it yourself and murdered it but it was like, that was a progressive move for the culture. and the way we have to move forward and to do bold seismic changes to what people see, so that is what i am trying to do. >> trevor: let's talk about the episode of black-ish that everybody is talking about right now and that is the episode that was previously shelfed under mysterious circumstances. and then now has been released on hulu. and i think it is entitled please baby please. and there was this episode that we heard about. and it was supposed to come out i think a year after the election had taken place. and then all of a sudden this

episode disappeared and people are like what happened, where did the episode go. and then kenya barris left and abc and started working with netflix and people were like did they censor him did they stop him. but now this episode is out. and i mean, it's a really poignant episode covering everything that happened in that first year, talking about done all trump, talking about xenophobia in the country, the rise of right wing national inism, of homophobia, everything that we were seeing explode in america during that first year of trump's presidency. but it seems as relevant today. so two things, two things, one, can you tell us why that episode was shelfed. and two, why did you fight so hard? why did you go to disney and say hey, i really think we need to release that episode. >> i guess there were creative differences in why it was shelfed. i think that its with a really interesting time and disney sort of broke and at the same time it

was an interesting time in our country's growth. and it was the most platt blalt aptly partisan episode of black-ish we had ever done, it was just like, you know, that is a hart place to be, you know what i am saying, for america's broadcasting corporation, they already let us do a lot of things and i felt like some of the things that we could not agree upon in terms of what should be or shouldn't be there, it was not-- i felt like at that time i wanted to compromise on and from the highest levels bob iger understood and really supported where i was coming from. but at the same time was running a publicly-traded company during a merger and things like that. and it was, you know, we came to a really-- at the time unfortunate but really respectful, you know, understanding that i did not want to put it out with changing t i didn't want to put it out without changing it.

and we decided, and i think i spoke to iger who rehaired hope and juneteenth during the time we were having a kfertionz. and bob who, it was my joke that said he was made in the c.e.o. factory, like bob iger, he is the best c.e.o. i have ever talked to. but we had a real honest conversation about this episode. he was like i loved the episode. he said it is the time is there, he sid i think there is a lot of curiosity as to why it was shelfed. instead of us trying to answer it or us trying to talk about it, he was like i think the time is right now to say let people put-- put it out and let people sort of on their own find their answer. so i feel like that has been what i have been really happy with what people have been saying. and what people have been-- seeing, and i feel it is one of the highlights of like my

writing career, is to be able to like have something that you felt like was gone, that you are really proud of, to be able to come back and during a time when we are actually in all of this stuff, speak to people and start a conversation. >> trevor: kenya barris, thank you again for joining me on the show. hopefully next time i will see you in person. enjoy injure-- enjoy your zoom background. good luck, with season soo of the show. >> thank you, appreciate you. >> trevor: i appreciate you. after the break i will be chatting to isabel will kerson, the author of the smash hit warmth of the sun because she has a brand new book out and it is just as mind blowing, so don't go away. t-mobile and sprint have merged.

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the daily social distancing show. earlier today i spoke with pulitzer prize winning journalist and author isabel will kerson, we talked about her new book, the origins of our discontent business explores the history of racial disparity in america.

ises isabel will kerson, welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> thanks for having me. >> trevor: you came into so many people's lives and you have stayed in so many people's lives because of your 2010 book which really just blew the lid off of a conversation that so many people wanted to have but didn't know how to havek and that was the warmth of the suno sun, you now have a new book which is you know, everyone is raising, everyone from oprah to every book journalist. and i think for a good reason, entitled cast, and it lacks at how society determines where people should or shouldn't belong but not just through the lens of race, which is really interesting. if we start with that, what is the difference in your opinion between caste and race. >> well, caste is the basically the artificial, arbitrary, grated ranking of human value on a society. and it determines one's standing, respect, benefit of

the doubt, access to resources or lack thereof. and some people's competent tense and even beauty t effectively places individuals in a particular hierarchy based upon their perceived value. race ultimately is the metric by which skin and the caste system that i am deciding here in in american hierarchy, race becomes the physical manifestation that determines where one is viewed as being ranked historically, it is the cue card, the signifier of where a person is ranked in the hierarchy. >> trevor: for many people they might jump at hearing this and say whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. how dare you say that america has a caste system, barack obama was president of the united states. and you know you can be a tv anchor, you can be an athlete, if you work hard enough, the color of your skin is not controlled by the caste system. this isn't india, this isn't another country in the world where caste is such a big deal. how do you respond to that?

because you can understand why people get so defensive. >> absolutely. that is why i wrote a book about it. you know, even in the original most recognized caste system in the world, there are people who have been born into what are known as the untouchable, the caste system in india who have managed to transcend the extreme bar yrs that they faced and be able to go forward and become physicians and even a prime minister. and there are always exceptions to the rule but one of the things i say to help distinguish between caste and other markers, other ways of measuring people is caste is the bones, race is the skin and then class is the accent, and enunciation, the education, the things that, the diction, the kind of things that we can control that can elevate ourselves out of the

restrictions, but class does not mean the same as caste. if you can act your way out of it, it is class. if you can cannot act out of it, it is caste. >> trevor: so i if i can act pie way out of it, so if i can code switch or straighten my hair or change the way i look, lighten my skin, those are all the things that you will say are calling into the class element of the. so how do we think about caste now, is this a new problem we have to handle differently to race and racism and class and classism? is this an additional thing or is this the foundation that everything else is built on. >> the idea of hierarchy and a caste system is the foundation, it is the infrastructure of our division. one reason why the word racism, why it is important and it is useful and of course it is a reality. but what we, what this is asking us to do is look beneed-- beneet what we think we can see. look beneath what we thought we gnaw and to see that racism while it is a fraught word that

can often carry emotion with it, caste and the focus of the focus on the structure and the infrastructure and that takes us away from the blame of anyone, this infrastructure that we have inherited has been around since before the country was founded. scroibing our caste system, our country actually as an old house, look at this hold old house that we have inherited. we did not build the house and we are not responsible for whatever might have been, you know, not so well done in the building of it. but we now are the inheritors of it, it is us as the owners of this house, all of us, and recognizing how interconnected we all are and how we all have to bear the kens consequences of it. whether we are aware of it or not. we are experiencing the consequences of it. whether we know it or not. >> it is funny, i have been having thee conversations with friends for so long. where coming from south africa, where we are now in a place where because the country

shiftedded power from white-- shifted power from white to black and the country is now more representative within its power structures, we have come to realize now that caste is now a new issue that we have too deal with. we thought race was a thing and it would be finished and now you still have a new version of the haves and have-nots determined by as you say different signifiers with its language, culture, it's really interesting, now there is another monitor-- monster we have to tackle on a different level that we didn't think b because we thought oh, you get rid of the race problem and everything is solved. and now it is like oh no, here is the root almost. problem and race was just the cover. >> i had that experience when i what is in south africa, about what i call situational elevation that occurs when a person from the marginalized group in one country, goes to another country and find themselves without any action on their own part because of perception, elevated accidentally. and when i was in south africa

people would hear the accent and i would get invited to parties and receptions and all of this. >> right. >> and that is part of what is happening in a caste system. one other thunking about this kind of situational elevation is that it allows the country that has had marginalized people to turn to the newcomer and say, to me when i was in south africa i see this is proof that if you just do this and do that, you know, you can make-- it also says that this is proof that it really is the infer yority of our people, of our marginalized people are in fact inferior. and so it works both ways. it works both whichs and i have a feeling both sides of that. >> i will say i feel like once again you have written a piece of work that is going to make us think, it will make us uncomfortable but at the same time i think once we get through it, it will make us more comfortable in understanding that we are part of a thing that we all have to look at. and hopefully we will be part of the people who renovate the

house as you so eloquent leigh say. thank you so much for jowning us on the show and congratulations on yet another master piece. >> thank you so much. >> trevor: well, that's our show for tonight. but before we go, there are a lot of groups out there right now who are working to protect and advance voting rights for the election in november. one of them is the alliance for youth organizing which is a national network of local youth lead organizations mobilizing people to vote. if you can help them, and you want to help them get the vote out there, then please visit the link below and donate whatever you can, until next week, stay safe out there, wash your hand, and remember, if you your shower pressure isn't strong enough, you can run for president and change it. now here it is, your moment of zen. >> has this ever happened to you? you go into a new home, you turn on the shower, no water comes out. if you are like me you can't wash your beautiful hair properly. >> then worry no more with the donald j. trump shower head. >> how about the shower that

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- chips, pop, cookies, kleenex, toilet paper, flares-- we won't have to leave the tv room for anything! - all right! - look, it's almost time! - up next on hbc, the russell crowe show. - all right, here we go! - ♪ born in new zealand in '64 ♪ ♪ a hot-headed actor named russell crowe ♪ ♪ he loves to act, but he loves one thing more ♪ ♪ fightin' 'round the world ♪ ♪ he fights his directors, and he fights his fans ♪ ♪ it's a problem no one understands ♪ - ♪ if there's two things he loves it's fighting and ♪ - ♪ fightin' 'round the world ♪ ♪ making movies, making music and ♪ ♪ fightin' 'round the world ♪ - russell crowe! - hello, everybody, i'm russell crowe. and this is fightin' 'round the world. we're gonna have lots of fun today, as we travel all around and look for some good-- hey! what the hell do you think you're doin'? you walked right through my shot, mate! do you know who i am? - oh, excuse me, i was just-- [thud, smack] - goddamn smartass!