s. - no... thank you, friend. - hey, aren't you supposed to bey, aren teaching school right now?teain - the school hired a substitute to cover for me. - and so to find the sum of the two fractions,d thu you must always first check for the lowest common denominator.r all: si. - these guys are pretty good. - yeah, i think i'm actually learning something! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.comy on everybody? welcome to "the daily social distancing show." i'm trevor noah. it's wednesday, august 19, and here's your quarantine tip of the day: if you're still bumping into those people who try to force you to shake hands, what you should do is go in for the kiss. muaaahhh! they'll never make that mistake again. anyway, yesterday was day two of the democratic national convention, and so we're going to tell you why joe biden had a party in a children's library,

why this man is holding a plate of calamari, and why kamala harris isn't really black. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> announcer: from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah." >> trevor: last night was the halfway point of the all-virtual democratic national convention, and the night began with the convention's keynote address. now, traditionally, the keynote is given by one speaker who goes on to either become president or the grandpa you hide from company. but this year, the keynote was delivered by 17 people, giving exposure to a broader range of the party's rising stars, while also capitalizing on everyone's deep fondness for getting trapped on an endless facetime call. and it wasn't just the keynote

that was switched up for this new online format. the traditional roll call also saw a major change, and in my opinion, it was for the better. because, normally, when each state announces which candidate will be receiving their delegates, it's just a bunch of people shouting in an arena while wearing the world's dumbest hats, but this year they mixed things up and did roll call from a picturesque or meaningful location in each state. and i've got to say, i thought this was a much more interesting way to do it. i mean, you got to see people in front of cows or on the beach or locked outside their house. and while many of the people in the videos were party activists, some recognizable faces popped up, too, like amy klobuchar, representing minnesota from the banks of the mississippi river; or mayor pete buttigieg, beaming in live from the "men in black" headquarters. and my favorite by far was watching everyone hype up their state. >> ohio casts 20 votes for

bernie sanders and 120 vote for the next president, joe biden. >> tennessee became the 36th and deciding state to ratify the 19th amendment, granting women the right to vote. tennessee casts 23 votes for bernie sanders and 50 votes for our next president of the united states, mr. joseph r. biden! ( cheers ) >> call maury is available in all 50 states. the calamari comeback state of rhode island cast one vote for bernie sanders and 34 votes for the next president, joe biden. >> trevor: okay, first of all, it is so awesome that rhode island has a state appetizer. i mean, technically, new york has one, too, but it's that liquid that drips off a building and into your mouth by accident. i never look up to see where it comes from. as long as you don't know, there's still a chance it's just

water. please let it be water. but the thing about the rhode island guy is, he could totally be making up this calamari thing, and nobody knows enough about rhode island to call him on it. i mean, he could have said rhode island is the only state where shaquille o'neal can legally own a convertible. and i would've been like, "oh, that's cool. i didn't know that." but, in general, i loved this roll call. it was like state tinder. although, it also proves america has no business being one country. i mean, you've got tennessee proudly mentioning their role in women's suffrage, and then rhode island's like, "we have bomb-ass appetizers." now, the whole night wasn't just a fascinating tour of american seafood. there were also speeches from jill biden, bill clinton, colin powell, and a quick appearance from a.o.c. >> in a time when millions of people in the united states are looking for deep, systemic solutions to our crises of mass evictions, unemployment, and lack of health care, en el espirito del pueblo , and out f a love for all people, i hereby second the nomination of senator

bernard sanders of vermont for president of the united states of america. >> trevor: okay, okay, now, i know what you're thinking: a.o.c. snubbed joe biden at his own convention! and i get why you might think that, because a bunch of media outlets, who should know better, tried to make it seem like that's what went down. but the truth is that this was exactly what was supposed to happen. by the rules of the democratic party, any candidate who wins enough delegates, like bernie sanders did, gets nominated at the convention, as a way to remind them that they lost in front of the entire country. but, look, i think it makes sense that a lot of people who didn't know this would be confused. that happens in any situation. imagine if you'd never been to a wedding before, and then on your wedding day the priest went through the rituals.

"does anyone have any reason why these two shouldn't be married?" ( groom ) >> you know her momma' momma's a relationship. but the night's big moment was when joe biden officially became the democratic nominee. and for reasons i don't understand, the d.n.c. also made it the weirdest moment. ♪ ♪ ( "celebrate" ) > >> well, thank you very much from the bottom of my heart. thank you all. it means the world to me and my family. and i'll see you on thursday. thank you, thank you, thank you. >> trevor: what. the hell. was that? the music, the basement library,

the cheap party decorations. i thought the democrats had millions of dollars for this. why did it feel like the grand opening of a used kia dealership? like, did they blow all their money on calamari? and by the way, i don't know whose idea this was, but you can't be jumping out from behind joe biden like that. the man is 77-years-old. you're trying to send him to the white house, not the hospital. i mean, i guess that they had to adapt because of corona, but there must be a middle ground between packed arena and basement school library. a school library isn't where you accept a presidential nomination. it's where you go to have lunch when you don't have any friends. regardless, joe biden is now officially the democratic nominee. but the convention is only half over. because, tonight, the big speakers were barack obama and kamala harris, the first ever black woman to ever be nominated for v.p. although, according to conservative media, she might not be black enough? >> some have challenged her racial identity and criticized

her for identifying as black when her parents are jamaican and indian. >> we talk about-- quote-- african american. her father is from jamaica. he isn't from africa, so she is not really an american black. >> kamala harris is not an african american. if you dare raise that, you're attacked. but the truth is she's not. >> she's not african american. she doesn't have slave blood. she's not down for the struggle. >> she's constantly talking about how she went to a historically black college. she is adopting oakland as her home town even thought she grew up from the age of 7 to the age of 18 in canada. >> descended from the largest slave owner, slave owner in jamaica. kamala harris seems to be descended less from the legacy of, let's say, frederick douglass, than she is from the legacy of the plantation itself. >> wow! that is fascinating! and i know a lot of people haven't heard that before. >> trevor: okay, first of all, being partly descended from a

slave owner is one of the blackest things that can happen to you. in fact, you know who was also the descendant of a slave owner? frederick douglass! yeah, so the guy you just used as an example of someone who is super black is also, by your metric, not black enough. look, man, you can parse kamala's heritage however you want. but to say she's not black, is she black enough to get kicked out of a restaurant in the jim crow south? is she's black enough to get redlined? is she black enough to be kept out of whites-only schools? you know how you know you're black? if you're dating a white person and before you meet their parents for the first time, they start a sentence with, "hey, listen, so before we go inside..." and what's especially ironic about these people trying to exclude kamala from blackness is that its the reverse of what white america did for

centuries-- defining as many people as black as possible, whether they wanted it or not. >> color, and who qualifies as black, who qualifies as white has historically been policed not by those who were the targets of oppression but by those who set up the system of oppression. >> in america, blackness was defined by that auction block. you were black if you could be put on that auction block and sold as property. >> in the years following the abolition of slavery, some americans feared a rise in interracial relationships, so states began passing laws to make sure that any child with even one drop of negro blood would be considered black and denied the rights of white people. this became known as the "one drop" rule. >> the one drop rule was an attempt to save the so-called purity of the white race. >> by 1925, nearly every state had a forum of the one drop rule on their books. >> all you need is one person five generations back who is black, and that is enough to make you black. >> trevor: are you serious? one black person in your family has the power to make you black,

but all the white people in your family can't make you white? that makes sense. i feel this was also racist to white people! imagine that, they were saying ten white sperm is not as powerful as one black sperm! that is an insult to white sperm, and i'm offended on behalf of all my white brothers and sisters. basically, these people were so afraid of black people that even one drop of black blood, and they wanted nothing to do with you. the same way, if you find one tiny bug in your salad, then the whole things is ruined. you have to either throw it away, or give it to stephen miller. this definition was never meant to accurately portray the black experience or many shades of blackness itself. it was made with the singular intention of finding the most efficient way of excluding as many people as possible from whiteness. so, yes, it is disgusting that

these people are now trying to disqualify kamala harris from being black. and i will say this, kamala, don't worry. this might just be a rite of passage on the road to greatness, because it turns out there's another black person who also wasn't black before. >> rupert murdoch suggested president obama isn't a real black president. >> he hasn't actually had the african american experience. in fact, he's not descended from slaves on either side of his family. >> obama did not grow up in poverty. his grandmother, the typical white woman, worked in a bank. he wasn't down with the struggle. he doesn't have slave blood. >> this guy grows up in hawaii with a kansas mother. his life is different. he doesn't suffer in the way that many blacks growing up in this country have suffered. >> he is not the descendant of blacks who suffered these jim crow laws, who suffered through slavery. he is not the son, the grandson, the great-grandson of an american black who went through the american experience. >> trevor: okay, wait a minute, hold on, hold on, hold on.

so these people agree that the american "black experience" is about struggle, suffering, and oppression. but when black people are protesting that oppression in the streets, suddenly they're like, "why are you protesting?! you people got your marvel movie! remember? and that's one of the things i've always found particularly interesting: your blackness is never questioned in failure, but in success, it gets put under the microscope. like, when a black person steals something or sells crack or shoots another black person, i've never seen anybody on fox news go, "hold on. hold on, hold on. this might not be black-on-black crime. maybe it's half-indian-on-black crime. or maybe it's his great-grandfather-was-a-white- man-crime on crime." but as soon as blackness is being considered for excellence and perfection, what has often been considered the domain of whiteness, that's when white people start questioning someone's black credentials. i mean, look at obama. he spent his entire life as a black man-- even had the 'fro! but as soon as there was a

chance that he was going to become the first black president, all of a sudden, it was "well, he's not like black-black. i mean, if anything, he was more shaped by his white mother from kansas. so, if anything, america is getting its first tan president." but then a funny thing happened. once obama got into the white house and conservatives didn't like his policies, he was magically transformed to that black-ass homeboy who's destroying the country. didn't hear a lot about his white mom in kansas then! so i guess that's the silver lining for you, kamala. fox news may be questioning your blackness now. but best believe the second you step foot into the, white house and you make a few decisions they don't like, trust me, you'll be black as can be. we have to take a quick break, but when we come back, we're going to a pool party in with you hawn. you hawn. wait, well then chill your reese's, dessyou'll eat it slower.ast? i wouldn't know i swallow mine whole like a duck. not sorry. reese's.

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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily social distancing show. we've been covering the democratic national convention all week long, but did you know there's other stuff happening in the world, too? yeah, and we're going to cover it in another installment of our ongoing segment, "unconventional news." let's begin in wuhan, china-- home of the worst-reviewed farmer's market on yelp. it has been eight months since the coronavirus began spreading in wuhan, but now, things are back to normal there, and the people have decided it's time to celebrate. >> we're going to turn now to stunning images out of wuhan, china. take a look. a massive concert and pool party in the virus' initial epicenter. the city hasn't reported any new cases since mid-may, but you can see there are thousands of party-goers there at a water park for an electronic music festival, packed close together no masks. you'll remember wuhan was on lockdown for three months, one of the strictest in the world. >> trevor: okay, look, i

mean, i understand wuhan has had no cases in months. so, on the one hand, sure, enjoy your party. on the other hand, the rest of the world does have a shitload of coronavirus cases, and wuhan is the place that started it. i'm just saying, if your house catches fire and then the whole town burns down, it's okay if you rebuild first. i can't hate you for that. but you don't throw a house party while we're all still sleeping on our front lawns. i mean, it feels a little tasteless to have a pool party in the ground zero of a lethal pandemic. what are they going to do next, hiring a corona mascot. "hey, kids, it's me, corona. and i'm coming for your grandpa!" i mean, i will say, though, at least this gives us something to look forward to. i can't wait for the time when you don't have to worry about corona anymore, and it's safe to go out and catch all the normal diseases you catch at water parks. because i don't care what anybody says, a pool is just a giant bath tub that is also a

toilet. but let's move on to some political news. with all the focus on the presidential race, it's easy to forget that a lot of the energy that drives political parties comes from down-ballot races. and by that measure, a brand new nominee for a congressional race in florida tells you a lot about the direction of the g.o.p. >> the very latest election results from the live desk right now. a far-right candidate won the republican primary for the district that represents mar-a-lago. >> laura loomer was banned from uber and lyft after refusing to ride with a muslim driver. and she handcuffed herself to twitter's headquarters after being banned from the site for referring to congresswoman ilhan omar as being pro-sharia law. >> this is somebody who has called herself a proud islamaophobe. >> and president donald trump actually tweeted, congratulating laura loomer-- you're seeing it right there-- saying, "great going, laura. you have a great chance against a pelosi puppet. >> trevor: you know one thing never changes: if you do something awful, trump will congratulate you.

you could save a kid from an active volcano, and trump would congratulate the volcano. ( as trump) "that volcano is so big, so beautiful, so much lava. maybe even hotter than my daughter. i don't know, you tell me!" think about it: loomer is so bad that she has been banned from-- and this is real-- twitter, facebook, instagram, uber, lyft, paypal, venmo, gofundme, medium, cpac, and "shakespeare in the park." like, i'm sorry, how do you get banned from "shakespeare in the park?" "shakespeare in the park"? i mean, sure, i did, but that's only because i didn't know i wasn't allowed to ad lib. "to be, or to do something else, ya know? it's a tough question. i'm going to have to think on that one." and, also, this person was also

banned from paypaul. that site is 90% nigerian scammers. they company was like, "this user does not reflect our values of cheating the elderly out of their life savings by pretending to be grandchildren who need bail money. it's not who we are." it is crazy to think that this person could one day be in congress, and she's not even allowed on most apps. can you imagine not being able to use instagram, facebook, or twitter? that actually sounds kind of nice. should i be racist? in other news, do you guys remember when the big question on everyone's mind was, "did donald trump collude with russia during the 2016 campaign?" remember? it was all anyone talked about! and then trump let 170,000 americans die, and we moved on to that. it turns out that the u.s. senate had not completely forgotten it and, yesterday, they dropped a bombshell report. >> a new senate report says members of the 2016 trump campaign were eager to accept help from russia, some of it directed personally by vladimir putin.

>> the republican-led senate intelligence committee releasing its final report, declaring the 2016 trump campaign had repeated contacts with russian operatives. >> on paul manafort, the former trump campaign cochairman, it goes further than the mueller report, saying he was in close touch with a russian intelligence officer who became a business partner. it says manafort posed a grave counterintelligence threat. the report says he may even have been connected to russia's hacking and leaking of hillary clinton campaign emails, an >> the three-year investigation also found that president trump may have misled special counsel robert mueller. >> one of the other headlines is that this committee actually made criminal referrals in june of last year, in 2019, to federal prosecutors. on the list of referrals, steve donald trump jr. >> trevor: that's right. the republican-led republican-led!

senate committee referred steven bannon, jared kushner, and don jr. for criminal charges for lying under oath. and this is good news for eric. when you're the least favorite child, you get left out of all the family traditions, even the criminal ones. but, basically, this senate investigation found that the trump campaign's contacts with russia during the 2016 election posed a threat to national security. and the interesting thing about this report is that it's bipartisan, with both parties agreeing on the facts, but each party came to a different conclusion about whether the facts meant there was no collusion. and it's weird to see the same set of facts interpreted that differently. it reminds me of how two guys will have different stories about how their bar fight went. "i punched him so hard, i knocked him out!" and the other guy will be like, "so i told that dude to get out of my face, and then i took a nap on the sidewalk." we have to take a quick break, but when we come back, jaboukie young-white

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and feel free to answer your phone again. hello >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily social distancing show." we are most of the way through the dament convention. and if you have been watching you may notice the speakers are closer to golden girls. there is new delegates who are changing that look. jaboukie young-white has more. >> it's basically comconfor old people. in 20 scearng the average superdelegate was 60 years old, which makes sense. but 18-year-old delegate joseph mulin says it's time for a

change. that's why he founded the young delegates coalition. of what? the ( bleep ) 20-somethings of the democratic party? >> there are actually 220 young men. >> what? >> yeah. there are hundreds who want to go to the d.n.c. this d.n.c. what are they thinking? it's not about. it's about making sure the policies. i mean, there are people like donald trump, who feel like they have enough knowledge, enough experience to run for a position like president. then why shouldn't i? >> we need to take back our party. it's so inspiring talking to you. >> i didn't start caring about politics. >> maybe it's the fact i haven't been to a club in six months,

but this club, seems like something i might want to join. so what are the qualifications for these young delegates? >> a young delegate is a delegate who is under the age of 35, and the minimum age is 18. >> you let in 30-somethings? i feel like have they said the phrase, qualifies as young? >> i was super shocked coming in and saw 35-year-olds. i was like what is going on! >( laughter ). >> hold up. if theses kids think 35-year-olds, then what are they doing at grandpa joe's celebration of life? >> back in those days, one of the things you used pomaid in your hair. >> okay, what is he saying?

what is so great about biden? >> when you have have someone who doesn't understand the diversity between different black people versus someone who says all black immigrants come from... hole countries i would try to educate this person. palin compares to the things i heard donald trump say. >> are you worried joe biden won't be able to hear your concerns? >> i was a little concerned, but we have to lift our voices up. >> i meant literally, because he's 77 years old. they're expected to rubber stamp the d.n.c. platform. but not this year. >> i'm voting no on the platform because medicare for all is not included. >> wow. >> when i was talking to some of my other kansas delegates, they were like as a biden delegate i should know my place and vote for the platform. but we're not sworn to any campaign. we are sworn to represent the

voices and the needs of our constituents. >> okay, yeah. but why is the platform so broken to begin with? these political young sheldons have a few ideas. because there's no youth representation in making the platform, but the party, we had a resolution come up that said corporate lobbyists should not serve as members of the d.n.c. but it was odd when tifs voted down. >> and the majority of people, against rules against lobbyists were lobbyists. >> you have me fired up. i'm about to send a "to whom it may concern" e-mail. >> they don't release the names of the people on the d.n.c. platform committee. we did some research and gained access to a list of all the folks on the d.n.c. platform committee-- where they're from what their previous offices were. >> where they live. >> drop is right now. let me know, because, like i said, they got ( bleep ) up. i will put on my carpal tunnel brace. let's go. that's my platform.

>> and just like joe biden, watch out for these future presidents coming up from behind. >> i have a lot of friends that don't want to vote or they want to vote third party. and i always tell them that, they take up space, and that's really how you're going to change the party. >> wow. you have so much faith in the world. >> i have faith that i, as well as other people who are young and making changes can actually do something. >> i need at least 100 milligrams of an s.s.r.i. to be that positive. that's amazing. i have to see the d.n.c. through their eyes. on night one i joined the young delegation discussion group as a distinguished guest. woooo! yes! everybody, one for bernie. and if these young people were so inspired, then i was ready to get fired up by the democratic party. >> in the final analysis, we are one people.

one family. one house. the american house. the american family. >> you all call this a party? man, wake me up in 2024. >> trevor: thank you so much, jaboukie. when we come back, i'll be speaking with a woman who is doing so many things right now, we have no idea how she even ha time for this interview. her name ievor: welcome back toe

daily social distancing show." earlier, i spoke with eva longoria, who is not only an award-winning actor, producer, and director, but is also an activist committed to lifting up the latino community and women in hollywood. check it out. eva longoria, welcome to the "the daily social distancing show." >> how are you? i'm so happy to speak with you upon i see you every day, but it's really nice to be able to speak with you. >> trevor: well, you can speak to the tv screen all you want. i don't think-- >> i do. >> trevor: and you can say things to me and we're speaking on each other. >> man a time i ideal at you through the tv. >> trevor: welcome to the show. let's jump straight into it. i mean, this week, being part of history, hosting the first virtual democratic national convention. everyone from random people on

twitter to senator marco rubio, random people tweet about, "what is eva longoria doing here? she has no idea how to connect with everyday, real-life americans." how do you respond to that? are you not a real-life american? what does that even mean to you? >> i know. i've gotten this my entire life because i've been a political activist for 25 years. i mean, most of my adult life, i've been involved in my civic duty, which i think everybody should. it's like if you told a dentist, "oh, shut up and do teeth!" like, wait, no, you can't have an opinion because you're a dentist or an actor or a farm worker? i totally understand my position of privilege today and the work that i have done to get to where i am at. but i was on student loans. i had pel grants to get to college. i worked at wendy's most of my young life to pay for college.

i had student debt. i had debt. i mean, it was not until my mid-30s that i figured life out. and i approached hosting the first night of the d.n.c. as a texan, as the daughter. and as an american. and it actually belongs to everybody. that's who i was. >> trevor: some would argue, the d.n.c. because joe biden hasn't been his strongest with latino voters. i think it was julian castro who said joe biden and the democratic party, had to do a better job. where do i think the democratic party could do a better job of

reaching out to the latino community at large? >> wow, you know. they're treated like they're a monolithic group, and we're not. i think that there's an assumption that we vote democratically. and both parties take the vote for granted. i think both parties need to be a better job at really understanding latino issues are american issues. people made the saw. we only care about immigration. we only care about citizenship. and that's part of it. and that's definitely an important issue. but it-- we share the same values as all americans. we want to have economic mobility. we want to have the opportunity and the infrastructure of opportunity in our community to move ahead and have progress,

generational progress in our families. >> trevor: with that this mind, i have to ask you about memento latino. what is that about? >> memento latino translates to the latin moment. it's a coalition of activists and leaders and businesspeople, and it's about lifting up our voices in the latino community right now because we are one of the most affected communities, due to covid. despite being 18% of the population, latinos make up 35% of the workers. farm workers, drivers, deliveries, grocery stores, stockers. you know, essential workers. farm workers have kept the american food supply going all the time. and we didn't need a pandemic to say farm workers were essential.

they've always been essential! farm workers have always been essential to this country and the food supply of this country. and now they're forced to go to work without p.p.e., without hand sanitizers. despite all this, we keep going to work, and i think it's just important that memento latino pushes for change and is around after this latino. >> trevor: eva longoria is not just an activist. eva longoria is also a producer, a very successful director, somebody who has taken the reigns of not just her career, but part of the industry that she works in. one of the pieces you created that creates a lot of buzz recently has been the new ad campaign, where you shot an ad from home, and it's really intimate. because you show your gray roots and you talk about coloring. tell me how that came to me and why you felt the need to share

this part of you with people. >> people know everything about me. but i-- during the pandemic, i was like, "i'm going to let my grays grow am. i have a full head of gray hair. i have had a full head of gray hair sifns 18. it's hereditary. thanks, mom. i can be real cool to go grow. and about two months in, i go, this is not cool. ( laughter ) not as fun as i thought. and l'oreal called me and said would you be brave enough to color your hair on tv? and i said yes. i do box color all the time. i grew up doing box color. and i was like yes! and i did it. and i think there was an appreciation for the accessibility to not only my life, but the accessibility to we're all human and aging and grays exist, and they exist on eva longoria's head as well. >> trevor: it feels like you're not afraid to expose

yourself to the public. that comes from infection and scrutiny and criticism at the same time. one of the journeys were showing your journey as a new mom. are you in the camp of people who have found this moment of time that comes with the silver lining of getting to spend more time with your children at home. for many parents there's an age gap. it depends what your children's age is. are you having the time of your life right now, getting to spend every moment-- >> the time of my life. he is at that age. he's not in a school, he's not a baby, he's not a lump of nothing. he's so active and funny and walking, and he loves mommy root now. but, you know, i have so much planned this year. i was directing two features, and i was filming a new tv show, da-da-da. and the fact that it all stopped, it just stopped, was a welcomed pause because i haven't had a break in 25 years.

and so for me, i do approach it with the silver lining of instead, "i have to get home and feed him!" it was like, i get to bathe him. i get to put him to bed. i get to wake up with him. so changing the vocabulary you use in life is powerful. >> trevor: hopefully next time i will see you in person, like i normally get to see you. until then, please, keep shouting at me through the screen, and i'll just imagine i can hear your voice. >> okay, good, and hear my laughter because you make me laugh. >> trevor: thank you so much, eva. that's our show for tonight. but before we go, there are a lot of groups out there right now working to protect and advance voting rights for the elections in november. one of those organizations is the alliance for youth organizing, which is a national network of local youth-led organizations mobilizing people to vote. if you can help them and would like to join in their cause, please visit the link below, and donate whatever you can. until tomorrow, stay st