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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  August 28, 2020 11:00pm-11:45pm PDT

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only folks with differences. [gunshot] - tango is down. tango is down. - we got him! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com >> trevor: ehey, what's going on, everybody? welcome to "the daily social distancing show. i'm trevor noah. it is friday, august 28th, and here's your quarantine tip of the day -- if you wish you should take a summer vacation but you can't because of corona, well here's what you need to do -- order something from grub hub but, in the delivery instructions, ask that when they drop it off, they have to say, room service! bam! you're at best western, baby! on tonight's episode, trump's disappointing r.n.c. speech, dulce sloan digs into politicians' backgrounds, and we check with the big dogs to have n.b.a. to find out what happens now. so let's do this, people. welcome to "the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, "the
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daily social distancing show presents the republican national convention, celebrating february to come. >> trevor: so last night was the final night of the republican national convention, also known as the place where facebook comments come to life. and this was the night that everyone was waiting for, the acceptance speech of donald trump. but before the speech started, we got this incredible moment between trump's first lady and melania. ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) oh, my god! did you guys see that? play it again. ♪ ♪ ♪ ( cheers and applause ) goddam! as soon as ivanka walked by, melania's smile disappeared faster than all the black face episodes of your favorite sitcoms. and moments like these add more
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fuel to the rumors that melania does not like ivanka. look, i don't blame her, after all, ivanka's in charge to have the one tackling melania when she makes a run for it. once the face smiles is complete, president trump defended the ma -- ascended the majestic stairs of the white house, walked up to the podium and then delivered the longest, most boring, low-energy george w. bush-ass speech of his entire life! damn that shit was boring! i would be so pissed off if i was one of the people in the audience because if i'm sitting in the crowd risk can catching coronavirus to hear a trump speech, i want to hear a trump speech, i want to hear plans of locking hillary up while shugging hydroxychloroquine, i want to see him hold up ten-year-old trump steaks and say there's a real cure for corona and start throwing them
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into the crowd paper towel style! but this speech, man, this speech was like going to a nascar race and watching the cars parallel park three hours. where's the crash? honestly, it was weird. say what you want about trump. one thing we can know is he can give exciting speeches that holds people's attention, so why now with one of the most speeches he will ever have to give, did trump resort to reading the wikipedia entry for history to have 19th century. >> our american ancestors sailed across the perilous ocean to build -- these pieo near as climbed into their covered wagons and set out west for the next adventure -- davy crockett and buffalo bill -- cowboys and sheriffs -- they pressed on past the mississippi -- built the great ships, raised up -- the norman gee to iwo jima -- we
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built a rocket and launched it thousands of miles into space. together we are unstoppable. together we are unbeatable -- ♪ ♪ people, i'm listening. people, what the hell was that? i don't know what was worse the perilous journey the pioneers faced trekking across the country or having to sit through temperature telling us about it. the last people who told boring stories like that were the pieo near as because the only other things they could do was chop wood or die. it's like trump turned the oregon trail into an audio book and before the speech was over i bet half the people in the audience died of dysentery. we know president trump is a terrible president and would be a worse history teacher. you have to know when to give up. still, if anyone managed to stay awake during trump's 17 minute ben carson impersonation they might have picked up on one major theme. for months trump has been saying
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sleepy joe biden is too weak to run america, but he's also been saying joe biden is a radical socialist who's going to destroy america. how can both of those be true? now he's figured it out. sleepy joe biden is so weak that other radical socialists will destroy america for him. >> joe biden is weak. he takes his marching orders from liberal hypocrites who drive their cities into the ground while fleeing far from the scene of the wreckage. make no mistake, if you give power to joe biden, the radical left will defund police departments all across america. if joe biden doesn't have the strength to stand up to wild-eyed marxists like bernie sanders and his fellow radicals -- and there are many -- there are many, many, we see them all the time, it's incredible, actually -- then how
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is he ever going to stand up for you? he's not. biden is a trojan horse for socialism. >> trevor: oooh oooh! the trojan horse of socialism! sounds terrifying. in fact, they should turn it into a movie. >> wow, look at the amazing totally harmless animal certainly empty giant horse. >> now we can attack the city and give them all universal healthcare! >> find their women and give them paid maternity leave! >> prepare to have your minimum wage raised! >> trevor: huh... not as scary as i thought. seriously, though, it's starting to feel like be scared of the socialist is becoming the republicans' only move, which honestly is just getting old. you know, it's like the g.o.p. is that one friend of yours in street fighter who did the chopping thing the entire time.
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( game noises ) you're not playing the game, justin! the biggest message trump sent wasn't in anything he said, it was in the setting of the speech, and that message was coronavirus ain't shit. >> the south lawn of the white house converted into a packed convention floor. nearly 2,000 supporters, no social distancing, and very few masks. you're seeing people shake hands, hugs, greet each other like it would be in normal times. >> it's almost as if he is trolling people who are concerned about testing and masks and the coronavirus. >>. what happened last night was dangerous, it was in violation of the president's administration's own health guidelines. most people were not tested. this was something that, indeed, could become a super spreader event. >> trevor: yes, even in a pandemic, trump needed to have a packed crowd. i mean, look at that. the only empty seats is hermingen cane. and it wasn't just a packed
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crowd. practically nobody wore a mask and practically nobody was tested. trump basically decided his speech was going to kill one way tore the other. in fact the only guest required to wear a face mask was stephen miller and that wasn't coronavirus related. the only silver lining is trump speech was so boring there's no risk anyone would spread droplets by cheering. but in many ways this is trump's coronavirus response in a nutshell. his top priority isn't health or safety, his top priority is making donald trump look good. nearly 4,000 americans died during the four nights to have the r.n.c., but trump won't let that get in the way of a good tv backdrop. in fact, when asked about the lack of precautions at the speech, a white house official said, quote, everybody is going to catch this thing eventually, and if that's the attitude of the white house, then i'm disappointed. because the trump i know doesn't quit.
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when he had an affair with stormy daniels, he didn't just go, well, everybody is going to know about this eventually. no, he paid her off, signed n.d.a.s, he did everything he could to make her go away. in fact, maybe we should get trump to bang covid 19, then we know he'll shut it down. so, look, i don't think trump won a lot of voters with that one speech, but the real question is did he change anyone's mind about him over the course of the week? because he was really trying hard. in fact, if you compare the trump of the r.n.c. with the donald trump of reality, you would hardly know that they're the same guy. >> president trump is a kind and decent man. >> he truly cares about people. my dad believes in the potential of each individual. >> go home to mommy. tuck you into beeped. >> they're human scum. i don't know what i said! i don't remember! >> i personally observed his
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ability to listen and understand the issues. >> we have a situation where we're looking very strongly at sinks and showers and other elements, the bathrooms, people are flushing toilets, ten, 15 times as opposed to one. >> presidential leadership came swiftly and effectively with an extraordinary rescue for health and safety to successfully fight the covid virus. >> today, the death toll in this country from covid 19 passes 180,000. >> donald trump is the first president in my lifetime to actually stand up to china. >> unlike biden, i will hold them fully accountable for the tragedy that they caused. i think china is very professionally run in the sense that they have everything under control. i really believe they are going to have it under control. the goal of cancel culture is to make decent americans live in fear of being fired, expelled, shamed, humiliated and driven from society as we know it.
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wouldn't you love to esee one of these n.f.l. owners when somebody disrespects our flag to say get that son of a bitch off the field right now, he's fired. he's fired! >> trevor: i don't know, guys, i think he's finally becoming presidential. all right, when we come back, dulce sloan going to take us behind the scenes at the conventions. then doc rivers and steve ballmer join me on the show to talk about everything happening in the n.b.a. so don't go away. ♪ his is the oldest registered distillery in the united states. from a place where the water is cool, clean, and iron-free. perfect for making tennessee whiskey. charcoal mellowed drop by drop for smooth sipping. ♪
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and although most to have the focus was reserved for the big speeches and the themes of the weeks, there were so many fun little moments that got buried by the news that i just wanted us to take a moment to enjoy them before we officially said goodbye to the conventions. for instance, one of my favorite moments was when pam bondi was blasting joe biden for nepotism, while the world's most nepotistic lineup was being previewed at the bottom to have the screen. you usually don't get that many transportation together without a special prosecutor in the room. you know what else i loved? when nobody told bernie sanders the camera was already rolling. >> are my hands showing when i'm up here? >> yeah. they are? a little bit more (indiscernible). >> is that a terrible thing to have my hands showing? >> yes. >> trevor: bernie! don't let anybody tell you that your hands are terrible. they're beautiful hands, strong hands breaking up the big banks,
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and they're a part of who you are, bernie. yeah, they always make it look like you're adding flavor to your speeches. the big banks, paprika, need to be broken up with a bit of salt! but possibly, possibly my favorite moment of all was when laura trump did everything she could to avoid saying that her husband was eric trump. in fact, it was almost like she was playing a game show. >> the forbidden word is -- eric. >> i'm laura trump. daughter of bob and linda unaska, sister to kyle, mother to luke and kline na and the daughter-in-law of our 45th 45th president donald j. trump. ( ringing bell ) ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: look, man, those are my favorite moments, and i'm sure you had some of your own, but one person watches the conventions in a truly unique way and that's our seen your political analysts dulce sloan.
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take it away, tulsi. >> hi, friends, i just spent two weeks talking to republican and democratic conventions, and i learned about these people. but since i watched with the volume off, i mostly learned how to decorate this room. this is my dollar tree version of chris. let's start with the devils. check it out. that's lara lightfoot, the mayor of chicago. we know the shades are down because you're trying to hide all the protesters. let us see them! they probably have some really craft signs! are those metal secured coffee pots? i don't know if you serve your country or love a medium hazelnut roast. why does bernie have so many laws? like somebody tells him he needs plants to fill up the place and he said, fine, fill it with dead trees! i don't give a damn what you think. i don't trust a man who puts a tiny candle in a giant fireplace. ♪ ♪ what's that mean? okay, someone needs to give i
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can't yang $1,000 a month so he can move out of the business center he's obviously living in. this lady can't afford windows so hung pictures of sky on her wall. what's this, a curtain, sheet? this looks like when my uncle converted his living room into a pet photography studio. zero clients. somebody needs to chick check o. i don't care what the room looks like, michelle is in it. it's perfect. that was the people who zoomed into the d.n.c. the r.n.c. was a little different. most of them actually went to an auditorium and gave speeches because they know corona is a hoax, but they did have people working from homes and what what amazing homes they were. oh, the couple that waved their guns at the protestors in st. louis. that's the home you're protecting? no one wants to steal that mess. they're looking like they're sitting down to tell me they're
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uncomfortable with me dating their son. guess what? i don't care! he's mine now! this woman is the whitest thing in a completely white room. whoo! where are me sunglasses? what's this woman doing in a warehouse? are republicans looking for black speakers at amazon now? i'm not saying nothing about miss kimberly's decor, i don't want to get yelled at. she speaks very loud. that's it, the live styles to have the powerful and boring. isn't it fun to see how the other half lives? and by the other half, the half that lives in haunted mansions. by the way, trevor, good looking five books you've got. >> trevor: thanks so much dulce. when we come back, i'll talk to l.a. clippers coach doc rivers and steve ballmer about everything going on in the n.b.a.
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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily social distancing show. earlier today, i spoke with l.a. clippers head coach doc rivers and l.a. clippers chairman steve ballmer. we talked about the n.b.a. taking a stand this week against police violence and systemic racism. check it out. >> all you hear from donald trump and all of them talk about fear. we're the ones getting killed. we're the ones getting shot. we're the ones that were denied to live in certain communities. we have been hung, we have been shot, and all you do is keep hearing about fear. it's -- it's amazing. why we keep loving this country and this country does not love us back. >> trevor: doc rivers, steve
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ballmer, welcome to "the daily social distancing show. >> thanks. >> trevor: i wish i was having you guys on to talk about, you know, how exciting the playoffs have been. i wish i was having you on to talk about how amazing lou williams has been as a sixth man, probably one of my favorite players in the playoffs. i wish i was having you on the show to just talk about the joy of sports, but, unfortunately, we're here because i wanted to talk to you about the n.b.a. strike and the reason for it. the n.b.a. players we want on strike and the games postponed after what happened in kenosha. it was really inspiring and also sad to see, you know, the players standing up and say we:do this anymore. doc, we played a few of your comments. i'll start with you. what do you think made this moment in time so different? why do you think these protests have changed not only sports but our everyday lives? >> because these protests -- the games stopped. the games have always gone on
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through all the different things, the george floyd murder, the games kept going. in this case, the game stopped. the players literally need to take a breath. like i said earlier, it's not lost on me that george floyd was never afforded to take that breath but our players did. in doing that, they were able to refocus and come up with tangible things that they wanted to do. there are so many people that protest, but, this time, we came up with tangible items that the n.b.a., the owners and the players wand to do, and, so, that's what makes this so different. >> trevor: do you find, as someone who works so closely with the players, that a lot of the players might struggle even more to deal with what's happening because now it's almost an outside world, they're in a bubble, they're seeing what's happening, away from their families and communities, do you think that added to them saying we're not in the mood to dunk a basketball, we have to focus on what's happening in
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america? >> yeah, because usually when something like this happens, you're with your families, you can comfort your kids and try to explain what's going on in america or in that city. they were not able to do that. in some ways, being in this bubble, a lot of the work, but the players don't feel it or see it, they don't know exactly what's going on. so i think, in that way, you're exactly right. >> trevor: steve, i know as an owner you have been one of the most vocal supporters of, you know, police reform. you have been you you have beent there with the n.b.a. saying something has to be done. strange to admit you are the owner of an n.b.a. team and people are expecting you and the league to fix something that should be dealt with by the government. is that ever a strange situation? do you feel it's an unnecessary burden to have? >> i think about it a little bit different. i don't know how to speak to the whole, but we have players,
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people like me who are citizens, and getting out there, using our voices, supporting, that's the american way. you get out, you have people proposing bills like the justice and policing act, the george floyd bill. great, there's a lot of good stuff in it. let's make sure that the house and the senate come together. i'm just a citizen on this one. i have something of a voice. our players even have a louder voice, and, you know, that happens. that's not about basketball, that's about democracy. >> trevor: you have been instrumental in pushing the players, though, and giving them a platform to speak. what are some of the things you've learned from the players in these conversations that maybe you weren't fully aware of before they started? >> well, certainly i've had an opportunity to hear from our players. doc and i did a great meeting with the team, a couple of meetings with the team about the kinds of things on people's
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minds. i don't have the experience of growing up black in the united states, the whole fear of the police stops, what those mean, where they go, and the importance of really being able to have higher levels of accountability so that that is the system and an approach that works fairly for all americans. i get that out of our discussion. when we talk with the guys, what really helps shape their lives? it's these mentorship programs and teachers and maybe not shots but made vivid to me by the conversations we've had. >> trevor: doc rivers, some of the fans of the n.b.a. may say why can't the guys play the game and leave politics out of it. they may be big fans of yours and the clippers. who would you respond? >> first of all, we're playing the games. we're doing our job. more importantly, politics are a part of our daily livessish and,
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so, if you don't get involved with it, it's going to get involved with you. also, some of these are human rights issues. you know, i think we think human rights issues are politics, and it's not, it's what's right and what's wrong, and we should all speak up. and our players have decided it's not our burden to do everything, right? but it's our responsibility to get involved because we want to, and there's nothing wrong with that, and i love that our guys are doing it and i think they're doing it in a sensational way. >> trevor: what is the league doing now? because it's interesting and nail biting to watch it unfold. we heard there was possibly going to be a strike, then there was a strike, then the question of was the season going to be canceled. and then was the n.b.a. going to take concrete steps? how did the league get to these decisions? >> it was beautiful, trevor. the players got together, had a long talk over a lot of issues, and they came to the owners, and
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the owners are a part of this. one of the things i want to clear up with the word boict, we were not boicting the n.b.a., or the players were not. it was more a protest about what was going on. because you don't boycott your partners, you know, your friends some that's what made this so neat is because the owners and the players got together and they formed a partnership in what they wanted to do. they were forming a justice coalition where we're going to talk about voting, individual rights, you know, i love the factt that we're going get arenas involved, registration, voter suppression, all these things. we're also going to form a group with this coalition to fight just single things. the george floyd bill, it's on the house, it just passed through the house. sitting on the senate floor.
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you know it will probably sit there for a while but that's where voting comes in. i think what the players and owners did, they pledged they were going to support each other and create this coalition, it's just fantastic. >> trevor: steve, before i let you go, i know things are manic right now. i wanted to find out what you think the n.b.a. as a whole can achieve at this moment and what the government can do in playing their part. >> danger it's hard to get a meeting if you have one of the leading n.b.a. players and one of our owners want to talk to a governor or mayor or congressperson or whomever, and, you know, now's the time. a lot of things are going to have to happen that don't happen now on a bipartisan basis, and if you put the players and the equity holders in holders and t, the owners, if you put us together, the ability to put pressures on both ds and rs to come together to work out
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solutions that really matter, i think that's an extra advantage we were as a group, and that's why i love our justice coalition, it's a chance to get, you know, a variety of people with different viewpoints, players and owners and coaches on the same page, and then get the messages to our legislators, to our police chiefs, to our prosecutors. man, are there a lot of elections that matter in this area of racial justice. >> trevor: as a fan of the n.b.a., i'm excited to see what you're doing. i hope that, you know, a lot of it gains traction and, hopefully, we'll get to enjoy the playoffs and won't have to worry about these conversations because some of them plaintiff's exhibit fixed. thank you so much for taking the time. good luck to the rest of the playoffs and we'll see you next time on the show. >> thanks, trevor. , appreciate it. >> trevor: thank you so much, guys. when we come back, i'll talk to the multi-talented keke palmer. so stick around. hike!
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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily social distancing show. so earlier today, i spoke with actor, singer and activist keke palmer. we talked about her new e.p., how she's prepping to host the m.t.v. video music awards this weekend, and so much more. keke palmer, welcome to "the daily social distancing show. >> hey, how are you? good to see you, man. >> trevor: hey, i'm living, you know, living as best as i can during these times. and before we get into the heftier side of what's happening in life, i want to start off with congratulating you. not often you have moments of joy during coronavirus. everything is going through the ups and the downs, but i want to say congratulations. you're going to be hosting the mtv v.m.a.s. >> yes, i am. i'm very excited about it. yes to literally everything that you said. i'm excited hopefully to give people an opportunity to get entertainment and good spirits during all of this.
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>> trevor: i had a serious question for you about the trajectory of your career. what do you think is more impactful in your life, doing major things like being in movies and tv shows and hosting award shows, et cetera, or being turned into a meme? because you are one of the most famous memes on the internet. i mean, everyone uses it for everything. they're, like, i don't know this man, i don't know anything about this man or who this man is. that must be the greatest achievement, right, i'm not crazy. >> no, you're not crazy. it's how much you're here, because literally i think the coolest thing in life is becoming a meme, period. >> trevor: because you're part of pop culture. you're part of how people -- it's like shakespeare but of 2020. people use you to finish their sentences and a message. has anyone sent you as a meme to you to argue with you? that's what i want to know. >> yes, they've done -- i don't
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use the old meme, but it's funny when other people use them. eth crazy. >> trevor: let's talk about the awards. it's going to be socially distanced which means it's going to be different. can you give us a sneak peek about what's happening and who's performing? it's going to be an mtv like never before. >> yes, we have many performers at the vm mmm v.m.a.s. we have a bunch of great people performing. we have some surprises in there. to your point, yeah, it's definitely going to be different but we're still finding ways to make sure the audience is still part of the show in the same way we expect them to be. i'm excited we have this one drive-in setup, that's all i'll say, that's really really cool, but we want to keep everything safe. >> trevor: k. pop fans has
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been lauded as some of the most woke fans during these times. they have been pushing "black lives matter," changing hashtags online to get young people involved in the struggle of what people are fighting for which is equality and justice, and you seem like the per feck person in that moment to be with b.d.s. in the k. pop world and the world of equality and injustice. one of the videos was of you in a protest. it was just you at a protest where you were saying some really heartfelt things to the officers who were tasked with keeping, you know, peace and law and order, et cetera. i would love to know, like, what was going through your mind when you were speaking to them? did you hope to get through to them? was it you ventingt what you were feeling in that moment? >> i wanted some answers. i think at that moment i had been having so much festering at that moment that i felt when i
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saw them there, their priority was to keep the building safe, and i thought to myself, you know, well, how great would it be if we all were together. because the reality is, the only thing, they can be rebuilt, but it's the people and the lives that we're losing to, you know, that can't be. so i just wanted in that moment -- the other day, we're all fighting on the same team. even when i think of all the things that happen in the military, and the injustices that were fighting as well. i was, like, let's come together in this moment. i wasn't thinking about him as a human being because i was overwhelmed with the emotion of what was going on. >> trevor: you've always been outspoken, doesn't matter what the situation, whether how the industry needs to change, society needs to improve, your experience as a black woman. i think i've admired how honest you are in sharing your experiences and how much humanity you put out. i never feel there's a talking point. i never feel like keke is
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reading from a script in delivering her emotions. why do you think it's important to do that? >> i think that's how i was raised and nothing with the entertainment aspect. i think that allows me to be more popular and sane. this is the household i grew up in. my dad is that way. my dad talked about mohamed ali, davis, martin luther king. we would go on tours with bernice when i was a kid. i think trying to be aware and carrying the understanding of what it means to be a black american and just our history in this country in particular. there's just been a little bit of that responsibility at home that happened to travel in my work and i happen to be a passionate person as well. >> trevor: i think one of my favorite things is you express the complexity of being black in a way few people truly understand. being black comes with a lot of
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pain but joy. being black is able to tell jokes, sing, dance, while fighting against systems of oppression. and i feel like keke palmer represents that. i feel while you're out there fighting and protesting, you're also still creating. you're making tv shows. i believe you have an e.p. coming out as well with which seems like a lot of fun. some of the songs, one of them is about getting sicker during coronavirus. yes? >> yes! eve seven songs and many created during quarantine. it's my escape. to your point about being black, i found so much solace in my creativity, and i really love to encourage others that, look, see what's going on and going around but don't let it break you or push you down. used the same bay those before us did and let your resilience shine through and showcase your
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world. that's what i try to do through my work. >> trevor: tell us about your song. i've heard many songs about people enjoying their bodies. i've heard many songs about people being sick. i can safely say this is the first song i've heard about someone experiencing the sickness derived from coronavirus specifically and being indoors and stuck and just eating and living the good life on the couch, essentially. >> because that's the attitude i was expressing at the time was i wanted to embrace it and put myself in the space that made me feel access of feeling of freedom even though we were so caged in. so i didn't want to let myself get negative, being on the couch. i'm getting sick, loving it, imbibing it. i'm going to love myself and vibe out and that's the energy of the whole project because i felt that's what i needed during especially in the beginning half of covid and i just wanted to give that to my fans and try to
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turn up and eescape for a minute. there's some laughs open it, too. there's music. >> trevor: it's called music, it's called skits, and you say it's for your fans, but i think everyone who listens to it will be a fan because we've become sicker during this period. i think for the simmer it's the coronavirus keke palmer has given us. thank you for joining us on the show and good luck at the m.t.v. video music awards. we'll all be watching. >> thank you, trevor. you are the best. bye-bye. >> trevor: thank you so much, keke. that's our show for tonight, but before we go, there's less than three months until the election and america is facing a nationwide poll worker shortage. and it's because most poll workers are over 60, and with covid still in the air, they are understandably not showing up. but fewer poll workers means fewer polling stations open, and it means longer lines that not everybody can afford to stay and wait in. but the good news is most poll
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working is paid, and in some states you can be as young as 16 to do it. so if you're interested and have the time, this is your chance to save granny, protect democracy and get paid too! sign up at the link below to learn more. until next time -- stay safe out there, wear a mask, and remember to smile like everyone's watching. now, here it is -- your moment of zen. ( cheers and applause ) >> not a lot of masks. no social distancing at all. but least the president's supporters practiced good hygiene, right, rudy? >> -- values every day. they never seem to show people like me. ♪ chappelle's show, chappelle's show ♪ ♪ chappelle's show ♪ chappelle's show ♪ chappelle's show ♪ ow! ♪ whoo-hoo-hoo! ♪ whoo-hoo! ♪ yeah, yeah. [♪...] let's start the show. [cheering and applause] man: give it up right now for my man, dave chappelle!
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[♪..., cheering and applause] chappelle: oh... yes. hey, thank you, thank you, thank you. all right, everybody, have a seat, man. let's all relax. thanks for coming back. welcome to chappelle's show. you know, we've been getting a little flack in the press. i don't know if you guys have seen some of the things that were written... calling us controversial, which i was surprised about. that's the thing about being on tv. you just can never say what you want to say, man. 'cause if i said everything i thought, it would just freak america out. you wouldn't want to hear a young black dude saying half the things i be thinking. the only way people would listen to the stuff i think is if a pretty white girl sang my thoughts. [laughter] and i actually happen to have a pretty white girl here. pretty white girl, come on out. she's in my contract. [laughter and applause] good evening, pretty white woman.

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