and welcome to "the daily distancing show." i'm trevor noah. it is thursday august 20th, and here's your quarantine tip of the day -- if you want to go hang out with friends outside because it's safer, but now it's also too hot, then here's an easy fix -- just stuff a frozen turkey in your shirt. yeah, it will keep you cool and people will think you're pregnant and offer you their seat. that's what i did. i was, like, here you go, ma'am. and then there was a dude with a turkey. we're friends now. yesterday was day three of the democratic national convention, filled with heavy hitters, elizabeth warren, hillary clinton, kamala harris, and that dude that married michelle obama. what was that guy's name again? let's do this, let's catch up on the highlights. welcome to "the daily distancing show." >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, "the

daily distancing show" presents the democratic national convention, electing america's first black president's friend. >> trevor: night three of the democratic national convention was focused on women. women fighting for their rights, women pushing for change, and women who don't want to say they told you so but they told you so. we also heard from elizabeth warren who delivered a speech from inside a school about the biden policies that would help families and working mothers. now, if you paid attention, you would have noticed she also left a little easter egg for people in the background with letter blocks spelling out b.l.m., which, if you think abit, the perfect rorschach test, because if you're woke it stands for "black lives matter." if you're conservative it means blue lives matter. and in my mind it means beyonce loves me -- oh, my god! beyonce loves me! i knew it!

i knew it! now this wasn't just women's night because it had a lot of women speaking. it was women's night because it highlighted the constant obstacles and challenges women have been fighting against for years, from reproductive rights to gun violence to domestic abuse which biden helped tackle with the violence against women act. it was a powerful and moving tribute to women across america that brought many people to tears. there's always one guy trying to crash girls night but i don't think anyone mind it when it turned out to be this guy. >> i did hope for the sake of our country that donald trump might show some interest in taking the job seriously, that he might come to feel the weight of the office and discover some democracy that had been placed in his care, but he never did. for close to four years, now, he

has shown no interest in putting in the common ground, no interest in using the awesome power of his office to help anyone but himself and his friends, no interest in treating the presidency as anything but one more reality show that he can use to get the attention he craves. donald trump hasn't grown into the job because he can't. >> trevor: wow, president obama! i think you're being a little harsh here! the man's only been in office for three years and seven months, give the dude some time to warm up! but this speech wasn't just brutal, it was straight to the point. not even being mean abit. obama was just laying out why president trump has failed in a real and honest way. i know he's too classy for this, but i think obama would make a great yeper. vicenceo's quality italian has no interest in making a decent

meatball sub. so from obama to trump's former cabinet members to trump's own niece, everyone except trump's tailor says this guy hasn't grown at all. although there were moments of hopefulness but the overall feeling was america was on the brink of death and this was the last chance to save it. it didn't feel like the usual things will get better speech, it felt more like a funeral for democracy. basically four years of trump took obama from yes, we can to let us pray. so after everyone else had their turn, it was time for the big finale, the official nomination of vice presidential candidate kamala harris and although kamala kicked off the nigh from what looked like backstage at a u2 concert, she finally got her moment at the end of the show. >> greetings, america, that i am

here tonight is a testament to the generation before me, women and men who believed so fiercely in the promise of equality, liberty and justice for all. i have fought for children and survivors of sexual assault, i've fought against transnational criminal organizations, i took on the biggest banks and helped take down one of the biggest for-profit colleges. i know a predator when i see one. my mother taught me that service to others gives life purpose and meaning. she probably could have never imagined that i would be standing before you now and speaking these words. i accept your nomination for vice president of the united states of america. >> trevor: wow. i don't care what you say, man, that was one hell of a moment. the first blackwoman to be the

vice presidential nominee. i thought she gave a good speech. my favorite line was when she said i know a predator when i see one. it made me wish that she would catch a predator donald trump. like he shows up at an arena expecting a rally but it's just kamala inside with a camera crew. she throws his tweets on the table and was, like, did you write these messages? and then he starts to run away but remembers he can't. what i love about that line is it shows you how bad trump is. she didn't even need to say his name and we were sitting at home going, mm-hmm, i know what predator she's talking about. i bet trump said, i can spot a predator, too. i aced that test. lying tiger, cheating cobra and the biggest predator of all,

robert mueller. she had to give a speech to an empty room. you can't have many people in one room even with a convention with corona. but our very own roy wood, jr. knows someone who knows someone and he used that hookup to give us an inside look at the convention hall that very few get to see. check it out. >> we're just about wrapped up with the democratic convention, and there's an actual convention event in real life in milwaukee. i have been jonessing for some hot convention imagining of years past, the spectacle, drinking, all the damn balloons falling from the ceiling. because to have the rona, i wasn't able to go to milwaukee but figured out a way to be there. a man covering the d.n.c. for cbs. finally got my eyes on the craziness that's d.n.c. in milwaukee. tim, you are inside the d.n.c. bubble, right there where the

action is going on. i imagine it's got to be crazy. show mow meh what's going on. let me see some of the crazy action that's happening right there where you are. okay. tim, flip the camera back around, man. flip the camera. where is that? >> i'm at the d.n.c. or some are called the d-20. >> trevor: where are the people and why are you in an empty-ass room? >> we are the people. it's the few reporters in here, some d.n.c. staffers and that's about it, really. >> trevor: tell me where you are again. >> the chase center in wilmington, delaware. >> trevor: oh, my god. the shit is in milwaukee! what are you doing in delaware? >> this is where joe biden will be delivering his acceptance speech here in delaware. ( silence ) >> all right, well, thank you so much. there he is. that's tim, our inside source livet at the d.n.c. convention

in milwaukee. >> delaware. i mean, wilmington, delaware. >> just pretend you're in milwaukee, bro. just shut -- be quiet, please. my bad, trevor. i thought he was going to have some footage for you, man. >> trevor: don't sweat it, roy, you tried. that's what counts. we're going to take a short break so i can fire roy, but when we return, another trump associate may be headed to prison. stay tuned to find out who.

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>> trevor: we can back to "the daily distancing show." while democrats gathered around their laptop cameras for their big convention, the rest of the world continued doing its thing. catching up on today's nonconvention stories. let's begin with mosquitoes, aka bed bugs with sky miles. for decades people have been trying to eradicate the disease-carrying insects and fra thinks it's found the thing that can take down mosquitoes once and for all. >> 750 million genetically engineered mosquitoes released in the florida keys. >> designed to test if they're an alternative to spraying insecticides to kill the regular mosquito that carries several diseases. they have been altered to kill the female.

>> trevor: scientists are engineering mosquitoes to kill off all mosquitoes. in any other year, i would be excited by the news but in 2020, why would you take the chance? they're going to let the mosquitoes loose and in a couple of weeks the scientists will come out, like, so, there's good news and bad news. and i also don't think they should be doing this experiment in florida. because if something goes wrong and people act crazy, how would we know? the mosquitoes bit that guy and now he's trying to have sex with an alligator. he was doing that last week? oh, okay. i'm not saying we shouldn't try to get rid of mosquitoes because i hate them. but the one thing i will miss is when they fly next to your ear at night, because i always felt like i was getting a private al green concert, i o i-i-i--- so y

way, congratulations on the groundbreaking dance with nature. moving from one blood-sucking parasite to another. steve bannon, donald trump's former chief strategist and guy selling fake tickets outside the billy joel concert. bannon left the white house in 2017 but remained popular in maga land, one thing he's used the popularity for is raising money to help trump build his beautiful perfect border wall. at least that's what he said the money was for. turns out, maybe not. >> breaking news this hour, the former chief strategist to the president has been arrested. federal prosecutors in the southern districted of new york have indicted steve bannon for what they say the his role in defrauding hundreds of thousands of americans in connection with an online crowd funding campaign known as the "we build the

wall." >> the allegation essentially is steve bannon marketed this build-the-wall scheme, collected donations from hundred hundredsf thousands of donors under the false pretense that this money will go to build a southern border wall. instead what steve bannon and other defendants allegedly did was pocket that money, use it to pay for lavish lifestyles. >> bannon apparently was arrested while on a 150-foot yacht off the coast of westbrook, connecticut. >> he was arrested by investigators with the u.s. attorneys office for the southern district of new york and also with investigators with a us postal inspection service, the arm of the postal service that conducts financial investigations. >> trevor: i can't believe this! another trump guy has been arrested after the aryan brotherhood and latin kings? the largest prison gang in america might be the former trump campaign officials. everything about this story is insane. first of all, bannon was arrested on a 150-foot yacht. i know everyone was innocent till proven guilt, but let's be

real, anyone arrest opened a yacht, you're guilty. also they said bannon was arrested by investigators from the post office. i don't know if it's just me but i didn't know the poaf post offe had police sz. where were they when the guys took my amazon package? that's my vacuum! the best part, why bannon was arrested, he's accusing of stealing money from people who thought they were donating to build trump's wall because you wouldn't want criminals sneaking into the country. i'm interested to see how it plays out because the people who got ripped off now hate steve bannon, but they obviously really love trumper but trump loves steve bannon, so i think it's going to end with trump getting those people to donate for bannon's defense fund, but trump steals the money and moves to mexico which he can get to easily because there's no wall. in other news, for all the

people worried the baseball season wouldn't be as exciting without the fans shouting offensive things, well, good news, the announcers are picking up the slack. >> a baseball broadcaster is removed mid game for using a homophobic slur. cincinnati reds announcer tom brenneman was in the top of the seventh when his home mic picked up an antigay slur. >> fag capitals of the world. >> brennan unaware he was on the air plugged a reds plea game show. >> reds presented by ray st. clair roofing. >> he later apologized. >> i made a comment that i guess went out over the air that i am deeply ashamed of. >> pausing mid apology to call a home run. >> pride myself and think of myself as a -- a man of faith -- as there's a drive in the deep left field that will be a home

run, and, so, that will make it a 4-0 ball game. i don't know if i'm going to putting on this head set again. >> trevor: damn. okay. first of all, who stops in the middle of an apology to call a home run? my man, an apology is like an orgasm. if you interrupt it, the whole thing is ruined, and this brenneman guy is right, he may not put on a headset again. there are a lot of jobs out there where people explain things currently happening. maybe couple's counseling? he's withholding his affection, he's not letter her in and she's out of there! this means there's a baseball job opening and i'd like to throw my hat in the ring. a few lines for mu audition! he's out! he's safe! whoa, nellie, it's out of there! oh, no, there's a lion on the field, somebody stop opinion! oh, no, the lion is coming right

at the announcer box! ah tell my wife i love her! i home you consider my application. my final story is about netflix, the reason you don't have to buy airline tickets to watch british people bake things. if you can't decide what to woch on netflix, just watch my special again and, second, you're about to get help. >> netflix just made it easier for indecisive viewers like myself to pick something to watch. the streaming service is test ago shuffle play feature. the shuffle play will pick content based on your viewing history or play list, but the new feature actually goes a step further, it plays the selection, and if you don't like what you see, you can just skip ahead to the next title. >> trevor: netflix has done it again. do you know how much of my life i've lost trying to pick a show? because everything on netflix is both interesting and not interesting enough. it's like if the democratic

presidential clants were tv shows, and you know this whole choosing for you is a great idea. other apps should do this, like tinder. you're busy on this thing the whole time, and enough swiping. you're going on a date with larry. i know he's a birthday clown but he's a nice guy. we have to take a quick break. when we come back, we introduce america to a man named joe biden. stick around. the fighting spirit is one we all share. for eduardo pérez, it drove him to thrive in his search for a better life.

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with t-mobile's supercharged network, you can say goodbye to annoying scam calls, and feel free to answer your phone again. hello. do ylike this place.es? and this place. ooo, so placey. with so many not-your-house places all over the world... hotels.com is the best place to book a place. "the daily distancing show." so all this week, the democratic convention has been airing short films, making the case for why joe biden should be the president of the united states. and just to be helpful, we also made a short film for that about joe biden. for some reason, they didn't want to run it. so we'll show you instead. >> america is living in a nightmare. a devastating pandemic and an economy in tatters, a culture lost and adrift. >> guess what, mother (~bleep ) -- >> and overseeing it all, a president who threatens to tear the country apart at its seams.

our nation cries out for a great man of history to lead us out of the darkness. but since we don't have one, let's go with this guy. >> we hold these truths to be self-evident, all men and women created by the -- you know the thing. >> joe biden, acceptable under the circumstances. joe biden was born in 1942 in pennsylvania, a state in america. then his family moved to delaware, another state in america. it's not the most exciting story for a president, but, you know what it is? constitutional sufficient. after a childhood doing whatever you do in delaware, joe went on to attend the university of delaware and the syracuse university school of law, two schools that are near the top of their states geographically. no, they haven't harvard but they were fine. i mean, he's going to be able to

read an intelligence briefing. and armed with this perfectly adequate education, joe biden was elected to the united states senate in 1972, where he spent the next 36 years building a perfectly adequate record. some good stuff, some bad stuff. overall, a solid b minus. yeah, maybe he shouldn't have worked with segregationist to oppose busing. kamala was right, it was a big mistake. you know who got over it? kamala! so if she's cool wit, what's your problem? besides, you know what mistake he didn't make? partying with jeffrey epstein at mar-a-lago. so let's outoverthink this one, okay? the point, is throughout his political career, joe biden never went off the rails. in fact, this guy loves rails. >> i'm the biggest railroad guy you've ever known. >> he's known as amtrak joe. >> amtrak joe. >> biden has made more than 7,900 round trips to

washington, d.c. >> yes, amtrak joe loves his choo-choos. now, is it the most normal thing for an adult man to think trains are that cool? not really. but so what? the guy wants more trains. it's not like he wants to nuke hurricanes. he's not out here trying to buy green negreenland, for christ's. we can live with trains. throughout his career in public service, joe biden served the people with honor, integrity, and sometimes free massages. seriously, his biggest scandal was plagiarizing part of a speech once. can you even imagine that being a scandal today? i.d. kill for a scandal like that today. at least with plagiarism, you know the guy can read. but joe biden's greatest achievements came as the 47t 47th vice president of the united states where he served alongside -- ♪ ♪ -- barack obama! that's right, your favorite president, the savior of the economy, the hero of healthcare,

nobel peace prize rine whicher and, oh, yeah, murderer of osama bin laden. that's barack obama. >> obama! >> joe spent eight years as president obama's trusted right-hand man, working so closely with him that soon even biden couldn't tell where he ended and obama began. >> an o'biden bama democrat. >> his job prepared him for knowing which building the white house is. once joe is inside the white house, he will lead america forward with a bold, progressive agenda. >> joe biden who told his big donors that "nothing will fundamentally change if he's elected." >> americans aren't looking for evolution. >> no, i don't support defunding the police. against medicare for all. totally unrealistic. >> elizabeth warren says she's going to prose a wealth tax.

( laughter ) >> boldish, or something. what matters is it's not insane. and considering the shit storm we're in right now, we'll take it. i haven't been outside in six months. look, here's the thing, joe biden isn't as inspiring as obama, he doesn't have the fearless vision of f.d.r., or the rhetorical gift of john f. kennedy. >> my name is joe biden, i love ice cream. >> but what joe is, always has been and will be as your next president is not donald trump. >> person, woman, man, camera, tv. so, come on, man! >> come on, man. >> come on, man. >> come on! come on! and that's what makes joe biden acceptable, under the circumstances. >> come on, man! >> trevor: sounds like a strong argument to me. when we come back, we'll talk to

benders -- bernie sanders about what he wants his base to do in november. stay t ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ the big events are back. xfinity is your home for the return of live sports.

>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily distancing show." earlier today, i spoke with former democratic presidential candidate senator bernie sanders. we talk about what joe biden needs to do to galvanize support

among progressives and much more. senator bernie sanders, welcome to "the daily distancing show." >> great to be with you, trevor. >> trevor: let's jump straight into it. i was drawn to this quote that i'm going to read where you were talking about the democrats and the coalition and you said i understand we do not agree with joe biden on all of the issues, believe me, i know that, i ran against joe biden. then you went on to say but, at this moment, what we need to do is engage in coalition politics with the goal of defeating donald trump. it's an interesting way that you phrased that statement. tell me why it's important to say that to people who may support you? >> donald trump, in my view, is the most dangerous president in the history of this country. it's not just that he's a pathological liar, which he is, it's not just that he has rejected science, which, as you know, has resulted in the death of so many people in this country from the pandemic, it's not just that he's a racist, a

sexist, a hopeo phone or a xenophobe. donald trump is working actively to undermine american democracy. so you are seeing what i call a united front, people of many different points of view. you have some honest conservatives who are saying, you know what, i'm a conservative, but we've got to get rid of this guy because he is just not what america is supposed to be about, and you're working with progressives. this is what coalition politics is about is to say i have differences of opinion -- i disagree with joe on some issues. i certainly disagree with john kasich on many issues. but we're going to come together to defeat trump, and the day after biden is elected, we're going to have a serious debate about the future of this country, but it will be done within the framework of a democratic society. >> trevor: you've always been somebody who says i understand the pain of those who have lost their jobs, whose jobs have gone

overseas and not seen their pay raise at the level it should, they've seen diminishing quality of life, they have been people to w.h.o. voted for trump because they said this man is speaking to me. they say bernie sanders sort of speaks to me as well. with that said, how do you think you would talk to a voter who didn't vote for trump or rather voted for obama and then for trump and says, you know what, bernie, i just want a better life, how would you speak to them to try to get them to change their vote? >> trevor, that is a great question, and there are millions of those people, and what i would say is i understand where you're coming from. i understand your disappointment in many respects with the democratic party, all right, who have not delivered the goods for you, whose policies in many areas have not been significant in terms of protecting working people. i got that, and you're right, okay. but then what i would say is you believed in trump when he told

you he was going to stand for the working families. he is a fraud and a liar and you've got to see that. he told you that he would drain the swamp, and yet he has appointed more billionaires to his administration than any president in history. he told you he would provide healthcare to everybody. remember that, trevor? healthcare to everybody! he is trying today, continuing his efforts to throw 32 million people off the healthcare that they have. he said he would protect social security, medicare and medicaid. take a look at his budgets -- massive cuts to medicaid, medicare and social security. trump is a liar. he will say and do anything to get elected, but he is not to be believed, and i think if you look at his record, that becomes clear. >> trevor: let's talk a little bit about your favorite subject, billionaires. there is no denying that, during

this pandemic, although many millions of people have been suffering, some of the richest people in the world have seen their net worth's increase 200, 300, 400 percent. you have not been afraid to say that this needs to be reined in, you have not been afraid to go after the billionaires. how do you say to somebody, hey, if you become a billionaire, we'll tax you more. because i'm sure you encountered these people who said, bernie, god bless jeff bezos, he made a lot of money and deserves all he gets. do you think you're reshaping the american dream or do you think people have to understand what the american dream is? >> trevor, i think a couple of points. first of all, when you say to the average american that we've got three people who now own more wealth than the bottom half of america, top one percent is earning 45% of all new income,

and the effective tax rate that billionaires pay -- the real tax rate -- is less than what a working class person pays, people say, you know what, that's crap, that's wrong. so i think there is a lot of sympathy to say to the very richest people in this country you are doing as you've indicated phenomenally well, many are making out like bandits during the pandemic, you know what, you are going to have to pay your fair share of taxes so we don't have people sleeping out on the streets and kids who are going hungry. and i think the american people do support that. >> i've always wanted to know, on a personal note -- because i'm conflicted as a human being, and i wonder if bernie sanders is, too, do you buy stuff off amazon and apple? where does bernie get his supplies from if you need socks or random things? >> i am not -- my family is not too big into amazon and stuff, i'm not saying we haven't. mostly, we go to local stores. do i have an apple ipad?

i sure do. it's a very good product. and to that regard, what you're looking at are very large technology companies that control an enormous percentage of the mark, and i think we've got to take a hard need about -- hard look at the need to break them up, because we're having a concentration of control in industry after industry. >> trevor: let's talk about the future of the democratic party. as you say, you know, many people hope that you are speaking the future into, you know, existence donald trump loses the election, there is now the jubilation of the possibility of a new world, but, you know, as a south african, i know this better than anyone, the hard work now begins. where do you think america needs to start? if you just said this is the beginning of where america needs to start and it might be the hardest thing to do, what needs to happen in america? >> i think there are two things that we have to do, it's what we call inside-outside politics.

the outside politics is we have to continue to mobilize working people to stand up for their rights because, as you well know, coming from south africa, nobody gave the people of south africa freedom, they have to fight and struggle for it, and many died in that effort. so we need to mobilize the american people to stand up and say, we want economic justice, social justice, racial justice, environmental justice, we want a just society. so that's the outside strategy, putting pressure on government when millions of people stand up and fight. inside strategy is we need an agenda. you can't be yelling and screaming unless you know what you want to do. and, you know, we'll be arguing about that agenda, but i have a pretty good sense of what it's about. it is what the working families of this country desperately need. look, there's something wrong when in the almost last 50

years, the average american worker in terms of inflation counted for dollars hasn't seen a nickel increase in his or her wages, despite a huge increase in productivity. so all you have to do is sit down and say, okay, what do working families need? we need the guarantee that when so much work has to be done in america, rebuilding our infrastructure, childcare, education, healthcare, climate change, god knows millions and millions of jobs, guaranteed jobs to all people at a decent wage. healthcare is a human right, education is a human right. tell the billionaire class they're going to start paying their fair share of taxes. >> trevor: let me leave you with this question, bernie sanders is in many ways a paradox. you lead a huge movement that is largely made up of young people. some of your biggest allies in congress are the youngest, freshest faces in politics that we've seen, and yet you are what many people would term -- i wouldn't -- an old man. some people would say you are an

old man. i would love to know how that came to be because many people say the older you get, inevitably the more conservative you become and the country has been divided politically abiage, so what is it about bernie sanders that makes him connected to so many young people, and the follow-up is what would your advice to young people be in changing this country? >> to the second question, the first point i have to make to young people is i know many of you think politics is bullshit and you don't vote and you don't care. please, please, for this election, you must, must come out and vote. this is the future of america. it's the future of your lives. it's whether we're going to be a democracy, have decent-paying jobs, whether we're going to protect the environment and combat climate change for your kids and your grandchildren. look at what's happening in california as a result of climate change? it's only going to get worse.

this guy in the white house today, he hasn't a clue. he's on the wrong side of everything. you must vote, and if your friends tell you that you're dumb, why are you getting involved, look him in the eye and tell them that you believe in democracy, you believe in justice and you want to see a better america. that's number one. number two, on a personal level, i have found, trevor, that it's an amazing thing because your point is right, i find myself closer emotionally to many of the younger people who are coming in to congress, people like alexandria or rashida or ilhan, and many others, and despite the fact that we not only have an age difference, we come from different places, you know. ilhan grew up in somalia. alexandria's family is puerto rican. rashida's family is palestinian. but we share a common deep belief in democracy and justice,

and they are real people, they are authentic, and i find myself feeling very comfortable around real people, no not phoneys, and they are real people. >> trevor: senator sanders, thank you for taking your time and good luck on the trail. >> thank you. ♪> trevor: thank you, ♪ >> why is the president calling for a boycott of goodyear? >> i don't know what you're talking about. >> what did he say about goodyear? i mean, i don't know this. maybe i should. >> goodyear? >> goodyear. >> okay. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> i need to catch up on the news. i can't respond to that.

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