i don't understand! - i don't either! - that's because you guys never understood! you fellers never got what these people are really about! freedom! rebellion against the system! a living image of independence! solid, defiant, and supremely cool, the biker is an all-american icon of resilient individuality and freedom! - who is this little fag? - i'm not a fag yet, sir, but i am bike-curious. - that's it! let's kill 'em all! - no, that'll just make you bigger fags! - no one is killing anyone! [shotguns cocking] we've had enough. you faggots get the hell out of our town. - all right, everyone. all right! we are fags! yeah, we're fags. we're total fags. and you know what? we like it! - yeah, we like bein' fags.

- so go ahead, america. whenever you pass by harley riders like us, roll down your window and yell, "faggots!" all you kids out there, when you see us, walk up to us and say, "hello, fags!" no, really. we want you to. at least we're cool enough to embrace who we are. right, guys? - that's right! - yeah, yeah! - you got it, yeah! - come on, fags, let's roll out! [imitating motorcycles] - and that, mr. editor, is why they are the true definition of fags. - let there be no perplexity, those individuals are the legitimate faggots! the definition shall be replaced! [cheers and applause] - we did it! - yeah, we did it, you guys! - oh, it's over! it's finally over!

- today we've made history. what's going on, everybody? welcome to "the daily social distancing show. i'm trevor noah. today is monday, the 14th of september, which means we are now just 50 days away from election day, which means you've got just enough time to build your bunker for when the post-election civil war begins. yay! make sure to include toilet paper. someone bought abe's hair, dulce sloan digs into black hair, and the government out of your hair. an all-hair episodes. let's do it, people, welcome to "the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch

somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show with trevor noah! >> trevor: let's kick things off on the west coast. you know, the part of america that keeps nevada from getting wet. extreme wildfires have been devastating the region for over a week now, and as if the natural disaster isn't bad enough, it's being made worse by some serious human stupidity. >> raging wildfires in california, oregon and washington state are burning out of control at this hour. at least 35 people have died. officials describe conditions as "apocalyptic." >> as if the fatal massive wildfires weren't enough to contend with, now officials in oregon are having to plead with residents to ignore a q anon conspiracy theory that is quickly spreading online. the false claim says antifa is to lame blame for starting the fires. >> a county sheriff's deputy placed on leave after a video of

him went viral saying fascists started fires in oregon. >> antifa (~bleep ) are out causing hell and there's a lot of lives at stake and there are a lot of people's property at stake because these guys got some vendetta. >> trevor: not only do officials have to deal with wildfires, they also have to deal with the only thing that spreads faster than wildfires, internet conspiracy theories, which, let's be honest, are the worst, because at least fires eventually get put out. internet conspiracy theories are harder to get rid of than the microchips the government put in our brains using floor ride and burgers. it's true, look it up. the only way to get rid of conspiracy theories is if we take away our uncle's facebook. good luck with that. you try to fake facebook away from old people, they turn into lord of the rings. my frenzies! while the sheriff's department

is saying don't believe the conspiracy theories, one of the sheriff's deputies is spreading the conspiracy theory. it's like if you saw smoke where bear running around with a flame thrower. now i don't know what to think. since the fires are so big, california once again has been forced to rely on inmates to help fight the fires. because these humans are wristicking their lives to save others, the governor has finally decided to pay them back. >> some inmate firefighters working the front lines on the california wierdle now have a chance to capitalize on the experience after released from custody. >> governor gavin newsom sign into law what gives some inmates shot at careers in firefighting after completing sentences. >> thousands of prisoners on the front lines near the end of their time in prison that are getting credits and want the opportunity because the training they're receiving, this bill that i'm about to sign will give those prisoners hope of actually getting a job in the profession that they have been trained. >> trevor: yeah, for years,

even though prisoners fought wildfires while incarcerated, they weren't allowed to become professional firefighters once they were released. and that was all because of their felony convictions. honestly, i think this is a great step in the right direction because america keeps telling people to take what they've learned in prison and use it to get back in society. if you learned how to fight fires in prison, you should be allowed to become a firefighter when you come out, right? people learned how to cook, you should be able to work in a restaurant when you come out. even if you spend all your time learning how to do more crime, you should be able to get a job in the trump campaign. you know, i'm not surprised prisoners actually make really good firefighters because they don't mess around, man. on the first day, they walk up to the biggest fire and they put it out! and all the smaller fires know they mean business. that's how it works, that's how you fight fires? i wish there was someone here. but let's move on now to florida, the state that's been

doing the post-apocalypse thing for decades now. hard to imagine but there was a time in america when some people thought the biggest problem in the country was young black men with sagging pants. >> looking like a fool with your pants on the ground! >> trevor: ah, simpler times. one of the city cracked down on this menace is having a second thoughts. >> thinking of dropping the ban on saggy pants. >> for 30 years anyone in open la cay who is wearing pants that showed underwear woul could be d but now that's overturned. >> they say that disproportionately affected young black men. >> trevor: that's right, a city in florida has finally or turned a ridiculous law that banned people from wearing saggy pants, and i could not be happier! for two reasons -- one, this shit was obviously targeted at young black men and, two, it made it impossible to be a

plumber in that town. you ever seen a plumber with his pants up? still no one here. going to keep on trying. seriously, i'm glad this law is gone because this basically made it illegal for black men to dress they can, like, they wanted or white kids to dress like black when who dressed like they wanted. imagine if a leader came out, from now on no wrap-around oakley sunglasses. if you ain't playing beach volleyball or stopping lasers from shooting out of your eyes, take that off your face. what, the sun coming at you from the side? another reason i'm glad this is gone is because this is another responsibility cops shouldn't have, right, telling someone to pull up their pants is another job police do not need to have. this is a job for grandmotherrers. they might as well make it illegal to look too skinny because you're not eating enough. cops pulling people over because they have schm utz on their

face. hold still. just want people to see how beautiful you are. there you go! if you're like me and haven't gotten your post-quarantine haircut, save the trimmings because in 150 years they could make you a lot of money. >> some of abraham lincoln's hair raised a lot of cash. two inches of the president's locks took in more than $81,000 at an auction. taken after he was assassinated in 1865. the hair came with a telegram about his death. >> trevor: what sick bastard saw the president get shot, ran up to him, quick, send help! first, does anyone have tiny scissors? i want to remember the day. that shit is creepy. they didn't have ebay back then. what are you holding it for? but guys, this is amazing. if we have abraham lincoln's hair, you know what that means? t it means we can "jurassic park" abraham lincoln!

( growling ) >> okay, not what i meant. forget it, just kill both of them. if you ever wanted to see the difference between white and black people, this is it. i took $81,000 and i bought a lock of abraham lincoln's hair. shit, i took $81,000 and i bought a lincoln. oh! can i get a ride? oh, hell, no! try to ride in my car, going to get hair all over the place. cops going to pull me over, who's this dead man's hair? i don't know. why you give him a ride? yo, he's in the same joke as me, i don't know even know this dude! i'm going to say i really hope that is abraham lincoln's hair. how do we know? looked like someone wrapped twine around hay. this could be the history nerd's equivalent of selling oregano as weed. just so you know, you can't make money from every president's hair. that's not how it works. if you get trump's hair, you go

bankrupt. getting donald trump's hair at an auction 200 years from now sounds like the premise to a really strange horror movie. oh, my god! i can't believe i got president trump's hair from 200 years ago! this is -- wait -- is it -- moving? did something -- oh! oh! oh! >> aaahhh! i know hillary clinton and the deep state coronavirus, all the same, it's fake, so fake... >> trevor: all right, when we come back, we discover what president trump and college students have in common. spoiler alert, it's not an s.t.d. stay tuned.

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our pandumbic coverage kicks off in utah, the state in desperate need of the ltetrus piece. we know one of the easiest way to stop the coronavirus is to have everybody wear mask. unfortunately telling everyone to wear a mask is one of the easiest ways to spread idiocy. >> after more than one week since schools reopened in washington county, the liberty action coalition hosted a rally in front of the school district building this morning. up to 1,000 people showed up, saying children forced to wear

masks in classrooms is illegal and even unconstitutional. >> hundreds have gathered in front of the wanted county administration building calling for the end of a mask mandate if we want to wear a fax, fine, we can take care of ourselves. >> when george floyd is saying i can't breathe, he died. we're wearing a mask saying i can't breathe, we're forced to wear it anyway. >> the reason i hate masks, most child molesters love 'em! >> trevor: goddam these people were crazy! they should have let them storm the school building because maybe they would have accidentally learned something. i'm trying to process everything going onta rally. no matter how many times i watch that video, i still find new things to protest. like that video was the closest ning i've seen to facebook comments happening in real life. i like individual freedom. white people are the real george floyd. happy birthday, martha! mask wearing was invented by jeffrey epstein! oh, and here's another reason

it's hard for america to get the pandemic under control, even when places do have rules for social distancing, this is how some people follow them. >> growing concerns over covid clusters, especially on college campuses. in ohio, police cited several people at a house near miami university during the labor day weekend. body camera footage captured a stunning exchange between an officer and a student. >> you probably know why i want to talk to. >> you too many people? >> do you know what the ordinance is? >> ten people? >> yeah. how many people are in the house. >> probably 20. >> 20 people inside? yeah, you might want to start clearing them out. i've never seen this before. there's an input on the computer you tested positive for covid? >> yes. >> when was this? >> a week ago. >> are you supposed to be quarantining? >> yeah, that's why i'm at my house. >> you have other people here and you're positive for covid?

that's what we're trying to prevent. >> that's why i was staying home. >> trevor: we are so screwed. the main part of quarantine isn't at being at your house, my friend, it's about being away from other people so that you don't spread the disease. i'm scared to know where this guy puts a condom on his body. at this point i'm glad it's just coronavirus. can you imagine this dude handling ebola? wait, so i'm not supposed to eat a monkey? because i gotta tell ya, there's some confusion there. and just by the way, watching this police officer's body cam footage was like playing a virtual reality game called white privilege because this kid was clearly breaking the law but the cop's tone of voice sound like he was telling him the specials. can i interest you in not breaking the law today? i'll give you a few minutes to think it over and come back. so some people are misinformed, some people are crazy, and some people are both. people like donald jaundiced

trump, president of the united states and one man super spreader. >> overnight at a packed indoor rally, president trump breaking nevada's covid restrictions to court voters in the key battle ground state. >> we're going to win nevada. >> speaking to mostly maskless supporters, his first indoor rally at a month. >> if the governor comes after you, which he shouldn't be doing, i'll be with you all the way. >> while those behind the president and in front of the cameras wore masks, most of the crowd did not. but that didn't bother supporters like mila christianson who camped out overnight. >> i'm not wearing a mask, it shows i trust my president. >> trevor: okay, look, i got why a trump fan would have trusted trump before. but how to you still trust this man after he admitted he's been downplaying the coronavirus this whole time? i don't get it. i really don't get it. what do you mean you trust him? this is like believing a

nigerian email scammer after he tells you he's a nigerian email scammer. hello, i'm a small-time criminal pretending to be a wealthy prince. will you send me some money? you know what? i like this guy's honesty. i will send him $50,000. and as for trump, how are you going to call yourself the president of law and order when you openly flouting the law, and not even for a noble reason. it's just so he can spend 90 reason ranting how vegetables were invented by the deep state and hillary clinton. and this isn't just about breaking the law enforcement what donald trump is doing here is actually dangerous. the last time trump held an indoor rally he lost 25% of his black friends. there you have it, everyone from college students to grandmas to the president himself is helping this virus continue spreading. but i guess that's the genius of america's coronavirus response. unlike other countries preparing for the second wave, america realized you don't have to deal

with the second wave if you never get over the first. it's time for us to take a short break. when we come back, dulce sloan goes to the barbershop. stick around. >> i'm a cheerleader for this country. i love our country. ♪ ♪ our country is the laughing stock all over the world, they're laughing. we are like, in many cases a third world country. it's an embarrassment. our infrastructure is a disaster. our schools are failing. crime is rising. people are scared. >> we have laws that were made by idiots. we're losing in every way you can lose. we owe all of this money. i mean, the nation's a mess. lactaid is 100% real milk, just without the lactose.

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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily social distancing show. let's talk a little bit about black people's hair. you know, the thing that we don't want white people to touch because it will give them superpowers. oh, my god! now i can dunk? for generations, black people have been made to feel as if their hair is a signifier of their infear auditory in society and, for generations, black people have had to take that bullshit, but not anymore. >> a leading retail pharmacy in south africa has been forced to close some of its stores after accusations of a racist advertisement. clicks pharmacy is under fire for posting an ad on its web site as describing black hair as dull, dry and damaged while calling white hair fine, normal and flat. it since poll eyed and took down the images. but people want the retail chain shut down five days. >> trevor: even for a country

85% black, this kind of shit is still going on. which makes you wonder how black does this country have to be for this not to happen? this going on in wakanda? if you're a black person, these stories are nothing new, and not limited to south africa either. here in america, black people deal with legal and cultural discrimination against their hair all the time. dulce sloan has more on that in another installment oof "dul-sayin'." ♪ ♪ ♪ >> black hair, white people are scared of it. for some reason they're obsessed wit. for most of america's history, white people have done whatever they can to stop black folks from wearing our hair as natural glory and our hair has a lot of natural glory. when we lived in the motherland, hair was so important you could tell a family's name and social status just by the hairstyle. basically the hair is how you told all your business.

this is true today. show me a black man's waves and i'll tell you whether he drives a benz or runs after a bus. but they cut off our hair to control us and erase who we were. you know how some people cut off their hair after a bad breakup, like that except no highlights. after slavery ended, our hair was still not allowed to be free because in its natural state black hair was seen as unkempt and unacceptable and right in america's faces, whether corporate policies, discouraging our natural hairstyles or army dress codes that eliminated black styles or schools punishing for black students wearing their hair naturally. why? black people wearing natural hair is like cutting onions for white people. they tear up at the the sight of it. it's so round! their hair is roasted, god! black people are encouraged to

straighten our hair to conform to white american standard beauty. not only is this unfair it's hard as hell. straightening black hair takes hours and requires hot combs, relaxers, silk process, not to mention all the chemicals you've got to use. breaking bad doesn't have anything on breaking braids. we've seen the evidence of this in hairstyles that have since gone by the wayside, like the unfortunate trend -- ( buzzer ) like the unfortunate trend of black uncles everywhere sporting the jheri curl. the only real semblance of resistance that stood for was destruction. jheri curls ruined your clothes, pillows and relationships. i went on a date with a guy with a jheri curl and my passenger seat was never the same. the only way black hair found cultural acceptance is when it was on white people's heads. when bo derek wore braids in movie "10" she was hailed.

but in if same era, black people were punished for wearing the same braids. that's the most gas lighting shit i've heard since the bunsen burner. for as long as white people have been telling us how to wear our hair, black people fought back. frederick douglas took photographs for his instagram 200 years early showing his luscious hair to fight against the racist caricature of the black men. black hair was part of the civil rights e.r. ray with the black is beautiful civil rights movement. today, there's progress in breaking down the stigma which hopefully leads to the day that letting our hair exist doesn't lead to a political statement. as soon as i had a baby froe, i could walk down the street without someone saying sister queen, i see you're starting a revolution. hey, man, i'm just going to whole foods. what are you talking about? that's the messed up history of black hair in america.

that's an overview. the rest is angela davis' 'fro. next time, remember, when it comes to black hair, look but don't touch or copy. put the conditioner in and oil, black people. don't let me catch around with you walking around with your hair dry. it looks ashy. >> trevor: that's a great tip, dulce, thank you for that. when we come back, i'll talk to the man who is called "the intellectual in air jordans." mychal denzel smith is comi treo

"the daily social distancing show. so earlier today, i spoke with "new york times" best-selling author mychal denzel smith. we talked about his new book where he confronts america's failure to live up to the promises of the american dream. check it out. how you doing, my dude? welcome to the show. >> oh, thank you. thank you for having me. it's truly an honor and a pleasure. >> trevor: i feel like every single time you write an article, you ruffle feathers and you freak people out because you wrote an essay in the "new york times" that basically said, you know, even if biden and kamala win, that's not going to take away your trump depression. what does that mean? >> well, the problem with the biden-harris ticket is not that it doesn't end the trump era. obviously that would be great.

we don't want donald trump to be president anymore. you had eight years of the first black president, and for all the limitations of that presidency because of the limitations of the u.s. presidency, it represented for a lot of people the idea that their country was slipping away from them, and then you have the restrenechment with the voting in of donald trump and the systems that help donald trump come to power. so if we look at that and we say, well, we want something different, we can't then rely on the exact same institutions to produce better results for us. what we have is just a going back to something that feels more comfortable for a large portion of the country. >> trevor: so are you arguing that basically trump has been so extreme that, now, someone like biden coming in and saying i'm going to bring you normal seems like a left or radical policy when in fact he's just proposing

back to the norms. because they've come out and said, guys, maybe we're not the most radical, but we're %-@. >> the problem is you do have to be that radical in this moment, right, because, one, the threat of donald trump is so much bigger than just even what is so scary of, like, white supremacist violence cascading across the nation. that's huge, right? but what we're dealing with on a global scale as we see now with the fires out in california, all of the cyclones forming in the atlantic ocean right now, a global pandemic is that we're on the brink of looking at our own destruction, and something that we can stop in that we just have very little time to do. and, so, there's an acceleration of all of the problems that we fees under four years of donald

trump. if we go back to normal or even left of normal, like just, oh, we're going to tinker around some things and make things better and make people's lives a little bit better, that doesn't do anything in this very short window that we have to transform our institutions to deal with the huge crises that we're facing. >> biden and his people, if you read between the lines, it feels like they're saying, look, we're trying to win the election, that's the most important thing, and because america has the electoral colleges you're not just trying to win based on a popular idea, you're trying to win based on an idea that can get you some of the swing states. if biden came out with radical policies, as you say, he's already in a place in the race where he's not comfortably beating donald trump, he's only slightly ahead in some of these places. do you think it's worth the risk when most places are saying

we're not going to vote for radical? >> the question is, ist it most important to win this election or to have a country primed to do what's necessary for it to save itself, right. and those right now are two different ideas because the messaging from the biden-harris campaign is not about, again, the sort of radical transformation this country needs in order to continue to survive to make a planet that's able to sustain life, to be able to destroy institutions that are founded upon white supremacist violence, all of that. we're not there. so if the question is, is it more important to win an election than to do that, then, sure, biden is doing exactly what needs to be done. but the problem is -- that i see in that is that winning this election does so i willle with

what time we have left to course correct on these things. if we had 20, 3040 years more with regards to the timeline with climate disaster, maybe we would give it a shot for four years and say, okay, yeah, we've got this, we can buy some time here and then we can do something else. >> trevor: right. >> but we just don't have that. so if the platform that's been afforded to joe biden, if we get messaging that's abwhat actually needs to take place, like what we have to do and how deep we have to dig as americans, then even in the event of his loss, what you have is a citizenry that is then looking and saying, well, this can't stand, obviously. like, this is beyond the pale, right? and, so, then you have people activated, ready to do what's necessary to oust a second term

of donald trump. >> trevor: yeah, but listen to what you're saying right now. now, you're saying, well, if biden was more honest and we lay out the plan and he's, like, more radical, then people will know what needs to be done. then after another four years of donald trump, then we can get things done. my question to you would be if donald trump got another four years and had additional supreme court justices and more federal court apeanutees, donald trump could basically entrench a foundation that is so deep in america that people couldn't undo it no matter how many presidencies they have coming forward. does that make sense? or do you think there would be some revolutionary power in the people that would make things move? >> i'm hearing what you're saying, but i'm saying if we are to actually reckon with the american past and try to forge and american future in which we lay out the ideas and live out those ideas that are supposed to be at the heart of this country, right? >> trevor: right.

>> we're not going to get to that with sort of, like, mealy mouth centrism and laying that out. what we are going to get is four years of joe biden. >> trevor: but if i could interrupt, that's what i'm saying i find interesting about this. couldn't someone argue it's going to be easier for someone even like you, mychal, to push a biden-harris administration to be more radical on economic policies, on unemployment, on wage gaps, on taxing wall street and uber rich and corporations, wouldn'tt it be easier to push them while they're in power or trying to get the power or do you think the two are not mutually exclusive? >> i think you can't wait till they're in power because they don't owe you anything, they don't act as if they owe you anything. i say that as someone who lived through eight years of the obama presidency, and people were saying you have to acknowledge

what he's up against and you can't push him. it's, like, at what point are we comfortable with pushing them? >> trevor: right. >> so you say to them, now, look, if you're going to represent me, if you're going to win my vote, this is what i demand now and this is what i need from you now, this is what the country needs from you now. because we wait until then, and then they're comfortably in power and that's the thing they wanted anyway, right. so now they have that. i hear your point around, like, thinking about governance after you win the election because winning the election is the only way in which you get to enact these plans anyway. >> trevor: right. >> but the problem is that we're looking at joe biden who has 50 years of public service under his belt and has a record that we can point to that doesn't pretend that he would be the kind of figure that would be looking for any sort of radical change. so if we look at his actual track record and the policies he

has pushed for, we can't trust that he simply changes right now before this monumental election unless we're willing to push him now. >> trevor: if someone's reading your book they may come away from it feeling all is lost, it's a zero sum game and there's almost no point. but i know you as a person and know that although you challenge the ideas of america, you're not one who doesn't believe in inaction. so what action would you want people to take once they've read your book? what is the idea you're trying to get across to people? >> i think the very first thing for me, as i'm challenging sort of the narrative that americans have told themselves about america, right, it is saying, you know, we keep saying over and over to ourselves, america is the greatest nation on the face of the earth, america is the beacon for democracy. it's just, like, those things don't stack up if we, like, look at the record of america. so we have to break ourselves free of simply repeating over and over this -- these stock

narrative that has us, like, high on our own delusions. so once we do that, it really is a matter of them breaking free of the sense that only through individual action can change come about because that's not the way it has worked throughout the course of human history, right. what happens is we understand that we have a responsibility to one another. it's difficult because, in this country, we can't even agree that it's good to wear a mask to protect your neighbor from an airborne illness that has caused a global pandemic. we can't even get to that point. so i know that we're up against something incredibly tough that's ingrained in the american character, in the american identity of who we are as rugged individualists and people who take care of ourselves and if everyone does that we're all better off. we're not. we're not there. that's not how it works as a human. the reason that homosapiens have

been able to survive all this time, a large part of it is -- it's not just the thumbs, it's the fac that we are social creatures. we depend on each other. we help each other, and if we lose sight of that, i mean, which we have, especially in an american context, we've lost sight of the idea that we have responsibility to care for each other on a large scale, well, then we have no hope whatsoever. >> trevor: once again, you have left me more depressed than when i met you, and that's why i always appreciate talking to you as a human being. no, but on the real, you always make me think and i hope everybody reads the book. it is a challenging read because it makes you question all the things you have been told, but i thinkist necessary for us to keep on doing that, so, mychal, thanks for joining us on the show. >> thanks, trevor. i owe you a drink for all the depression i've caused. >> trevor: no, man, i have too much fun chatting with you. thank you, my dude. >> thank you, trevor. thank you so much.

>> trevor: thank you so much for that, mychal. "the daily social distancing show will be right back after in th>> trevor: that's our show fr tonight, but before we go, the west coast is currently battling some horrific wildfires that are destroying millions of acres of land and displacing hundreds of thousands of people. and climate change has been a key factor in increasing the risk and extent of these conditions. one organization that has been working to find practical solutions for climate change and other environmental threats is the environmental defense fund. if you can help them, and would like to join in their cause, please visit the link below, and donate what you can. until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, wear a mask, and remember, if there's a keg at your quarantine, you're doing it wrong. now, here it is -- your moment of zen. ♪ ♪ >> this is a rare opportunity for me. i'm going to try a