it's a thursday afternoon, and you cheap mother[bleep] are at a free taping. why don't you losers get a job? thank you for coming. good night. [ cheers and applause ] welcome to the daily social distancing show. i'm trevor noah. today is tuesday, the 22nd of september, which means it's officially the first day of autumn, so here's your quarantine tip of the day -- bobbing for apples is obviously not safe this year. so if you want to watch children nearly drown just to eat a piece fruit, you'll have to wait until next year, ya freakin' weirdo! anyway, on tonight's show, democrats plot their supreme revenge, desi lydic zooms with her uncle lou dobbs, and we chat to patrisse cullors the co-founder of black lives matters. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show."

♪ ♪ >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show with trevor noah! ♪ ♪ ♪ >> trevor: let's kick things off with the supreme court. the world's most exclusive retirement moment in. the meet aftermath of ruth bader ginsburg's death, mitch mcconnell, senate majority leader and failed attempt at baking bread, has announced that he would allow president trump to nominate her replacement, even though he had blocked barack obama from appointing merrick garland during an election year, but democrats still held a shred of hopet that they could persuade four moderate g.o.p. senators to show some integrity and stick to their principles, and that hope lasted almost a full day and a half. >> senate majority leader mitch mcconnell secured zero votes to move ahead with the appointment of the supreme

court. >> mitt romney said -- >> trevor: yes, my friends, even mitt romney, the dad you ask when your other republican dads say no is going along with mitch mcconnell's plan. and i know, some people were holding out hope that he would refuse to help the republicans push through before the election, but for some reason people always forget mitt romney is still a conservative senator from one of the most conservative states. people think mitt romney came into the senate with a pussy hat on but, no. getting a majority on the supreme court is what romney and other republicans have been dreaming about for 50 years. on his bedroom wall growing up, he had a poster of superman, a horse and an empty seat on the supreme court.

there's nothing democrats can do to stop mcconnell. now they get revenge. >> the democratic leadership vowing to fight back even considering increasing the number of judges on the supreme court. >> we first have to win the majority before that can happen, but once we win the majority, god willing, everything is on the table. >> mitch mcconnell, we need to tell him that he is playing with fire. >> so i asked biden a hypothetical question, would he consider adding more seats to the supreme court? >> it's a legitimate question but let me tell you why i'm not going to answer that question because it will shift all the focus. he never wants to talk about the issue at hand, he always tries to change the subject. let's say i answer that question, then the whole debate's going to be what biden said or didn't say. biden said he would or wouldn't. >> trevor: oooh! this is an interesting tactic from joe biden! you see, he knows his best

chance of beating trump is if the issues are coronavirus and getting america back to normal. so to avoid a messy conversation about packing the supreme court, he's just refusing to answer the question, which is pretty slick. where were you on the night that the murder took place? that is a great question. however, if i answer that, then the only thing the courtroom will be talking about is whether i'm guilty or not or my alibi checks out. it's going to be like a whole thing, so i'm going to pass. trump should also refuse to answer questions about any issues that aren't good for him, like the coronavirus response, healthcare, climate change, education, race relations, foreign affairs, income inequality, taxes, corruption in his administration, his weird relationship with president putin -- but even if biden doesn't want to charge into this debate, other democrats definitely do, and some of them are threatening that if republicans go through

with filling r.b.g.'s seat, then when democrats win back the senate, they'll just add more seats to the supreme court -- aka, court packing. which is one way to bring balance to the court. although, obviously, once the republicans get back in power, then they'll add more justices to the court. which is why i think democrats should just cut to the chase and make everyone in america a supreme court justice. because of corona most of us are comfortable working in robes anyway, a seamless transition. let's be honest, knowing what we know about democrats, ain't shit gonna happen. when democrats say, everything is on the table! then watch out, republicans, you're about to get a sternly worded email -- to whom it may concern! bitches! good luck enjoying your 40-year-old on the supreme court after that! but let's move on to the coronavirus. the worst thing to come out of china since your iphone battery. as people have been returning to school and activities are moving

indoors with the cooler weather, cases have been spiking in countries around the globe. almost nowhere worse than the united states, where the number of covid deaths just hit an astonishing 200,000, far more than any other country in the world. which really makes you question whether or not failing to do even the bare minimum is an effective strategy to combat the disease. though i will say this, i truly believe that with this president and the right sharpie, we can bring that number down to just two. now, if you're wondering why the pandemic has been so hard to get under control in the u.s., take what happened yesterday when one pro-trump politician tried to make face masks great again. >> at a trump campaign, ohio's governor john huston was booed

for talking about wearing masks. but if you have to go to a grocery store where you have to wear one -- ( booing ) >> all right! i get it! but if somebody tell us to take it off, you can at least say you're trying to save the country by wearing one of donald trump's masks, all right? ( booing ) all right. >> wow. >> trevor: wow! this crowd booed even when the lieutenant governor was promoting trump masks. i guess we finally found the limits of maga loyalty. trump can shoot someone on fifth avenue and they don't care, but if he puts on a mask those people will eat him alive. i really love how these trump people are the same ones who always talk about liberals getting triggered. yet when they see a three-inch piece of cloth they have a meltdown. no! aaahhh! i would rather be the reason

thousands of people die than have cloth on my face! and this poor guy reminded me of a guidance councillor at school. remember when the councillors would come and try to convince teens to use condoms? okay, now i know you kids don't think protection is cool but what if i did a rap about it? someone drop a beat. >> you suck! >> trevor: more of an insult but i can work with that. it's silly not to wrap your willie -- but it's not just people at trump rallies who aren't taking coronavirus as serious as they should, the pentagon has priorities. >> the pentagon used $1 billion used for personal protective equipment to make jet engine parts and body armort that. comes to a third of the pandemic relief this year. "the washington post" says the pentagon gave money to prepare

for the virus. the defense department made the payments, even though health officials believe there are major funding gaps in responding to the pandemic. >> trevor: okay. either the pentagon just doesn't give after shit or they heard that corona is airborne and took it way too literally. but in the pentagon's defense, in the defense of the defense -- get it? in the pentagon's defense, we've all been there. i mean, who hasn't spent money on stuff that was supposed to go towards something else? you know, like when your mom sent you out to buy milk but instead you just watered down the milk left at home and used the money to buy a pet hamster from the kid down the block who just had a litter. in the pentagon's case, people could end up dying instead of just a hamster. fenwick, i'm so sorry. i guess i wasn't ready for the responsibility ( crying ) i'll miss you, buddy. i mean, think about it, america's infrastructure is literally falling apart.

schools are a disaster, millions of people don't even have basic healthcare. what's the point of having a defense if there's nothing left to defend? the united states spends so much money on weapons i'm starting to think it would be cheaper to bribe other countries not to go to war. why does the u.s. need more fighter jets? coronavirus has killed way more americans than any terrorist group. i bet i.s.i.s. is looking at covid like, damn, i know we said death to america but you guys are extreme! moving to florida. with president trump accusing democratic states of being coo soft on political protesters, the republican governor of florida is now taking steps to ensure that will never happen in his state. >> florida governor ron desantis moving to crack down on people who resort to violence during protests. monday he unveiled for a proposal for a new law called the combating violence disorder and looting and law enforcement protection act. >> the bill would increase

penalties for crimes committed during protests and withhold state funding for any local municipalities that defund the police. there is a major calling for drivers to not be charged should they happen to kill or injure a protester with their vehicles while fleeing for safety from a mob. the proposal would make participating in a violent protest a third degree felony and people who destroy property could face charges. >> the bill could unfairly lead to people not involved being arrested and charged with felonies. >> trevor: a lot going on in the bill. first of all as the aclu points out, this bill would make it a felony to be at a protest where anyone else at the protest commits a crime. an amazing double standard, if you ask me. if anyone in a protest gets violence, everyone is a criminal? but if a police officer beats someone at that protest, well,

he's just a bad apple, you can't blame the whole police force for that. just a few bad apples, am i right? also, let's be real, saying anyone is now free to kill protesters with their car if they were fleeing from a mob is just going to give people license to run down protestors whenever they want. this is basically stand your ground but for cause. and i know for a fact, i don't want to get run over because someone is sick of waiting in protest traffic. no, if i'm getting run over, it's because james corden wasn't paying attention during car pool karaoke. that's a fun way to die. ( singing ) the truth is, if anyone is in danger here, it's the protesters, not the drivers. at the height of protests this year, drivers hit protesters with their cars 66 times, so apparently the response to this from the governor of florida is, well, this thing is getting really popular, we better legalize it! so republicans are replacing

r.b.g., coronavirus deaths are only going up, and in florida pretty soon it's going to be legal to play in the streets. you probably just wish you could hop on a plane and take an exotic vacation. here's the solution to the first half of that problem. >> it may have been the fastest selling flight in qantas history, a 7-hour trip around australia where you don't get off the planet at all. demand is high, tickets sold out in ten minutes. the date of this flight to nowhere and back is october 10 and the plane is a boeing 787 dreamliner, one usually reserved for international travel. this time, though, it's a long, local cruise. flights like these have become more common in recent months. in july taipei's airport begun ththe first of three flights to nowhere where passengers got on board a plane and it never took

off. royal did a dine and fly flight in august. singapore airlines is also considering a new route as well to nowhere. >> trevor: so you buy a plane ticket, go to the airport and five hours later you're at the same airport? guys, la guardia has been offering that for years, not to mention seems like a giant f.-u. to climate change and greta thunberg. look, greta, times you have to fly. people are, like, yeah, i don't have to go anywhere. i just want to watch "big bang" on a tiny screen. is that sheldon? the one upside is you don't have to bring any luggage. though knowing most airlines, they'll still figure out a way to lose your luggage anyway. but i didn't bring luggage. yes, i understand, sir, and now that luggage is somehow in malaysia. we'll give you a $25 voucher to

buy yourself an outfit and call you when the bags arrive, okay? flying is only part of the air travel experience which is why leo devlin has a new service for you. >> did the coronavirus cancel your summer vacation? you were going to see the world! now you're stuck at home seeing your ugly-ass kids. well, pack your bags because guess what? you can't go to a tropical resort, but you can still go to the airport. introducing leo devlin's airport at home. that's right, i'll give you all the stress, frustration and boredom of flying in your house. i'll make your crib feel like you was at la guardia. i'll inspect your suitcase and throw half of it out. no shirts over three ounces. is that shampoo? give me that, little boy. you ain't blowing up my plane. or stop by the cafe, while you view the world'sing soiest sandwich. that will be $40.

i'll take up every outlet so you can't charge your phone. and what's that on your tv? netflix? nope. now it's cnn on mute. and when you've had enough, i'll give you back your suitcase with the weird wet spot on it. could be blood. order now and i'll let in some random birds to fly around your ceiling all day. it ain't but $85. you can get that from your momma. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> exit 120 by the fairgrounds. barbering institute temporary closed due to covid. >> trevor: when we come back, desi lydic has a zoom call with lou dobbs on fox news, so stick

who are you? you're so me. thanks captain obvious. i'm you from the future here to warn you about 2020. it can't be that bad, right? let's just say it gets a bit dramatic. there's no toilet paper, hand sanitizer or sports, oh and trips were cancelled. what??! listen just choose free cancellation on hotels.com because no one knows what the future holds. anything else? we're bald

ms. williams: we've been working hard... ms. robinson: ...to make learning fun again. ms. duncan: and making sure our students can succeed. ms. zamora: we're with you every step of the way. ms. robinson: i know it's a challenging time. ms. zamora: no one wants to be back in the classroom more than teachers. ms. williams: we have missed you so much. mr. hardesty: but we all have to be safe. ms. robinson: because we're all in this together. narrator: making our school buildings safer.

ms. robinson: working together, we can make it a great year. narrator: because the california teachers association knows quality public schools make a better california for all of us. quality public schools but she wanted someone who loves with the cats.ng. so, we got griswalda. dinner's almost ready. but one thing we could both agree on was getting geico to help with our renters insurance. yeah, switching and saving was really easy! drink it all up. good! could have used a little salt. visit geico.com and see how easy saving on renters insurance can be.

♪ ♪ only lexus asks questions like these, because we believe the most amazing machines are inspired by you. experience the rewards of our curiosity. this was the theater i came to quite often. the support we've had over the last few months has been amazing. it's not just a work environment. everyone here is family. if you are ready to open your heart and your home, check us out. we thought for sure that we were done. and this town said: not today. ♪ >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily social distancing show. in these corona times, everyone is keeping in touch with their

relatives using zoom calls, and that includes our own desi lydic who's actually related to lou dobbs from fox news. yeah, he's her third uncle on her roommate's side by marriage. so recently desi checked in with uncle lou to see how he's doing. >> hey, uncle lou. i'm so glad we're catching up. oh, my god i love your zoom background. so cool. so sick of seeing the same old boring backgrounds. >> they're not even inventive or original. >> golden gate bridge, boring! anyway, enough about zoom. house of your day? >> president trump today had a great day, a day that any president could only dream of. >> oh, well, i kind of wanted to know about you, but i guess if -- >> president trump started off the day with a nomination for the nobel peace prize -- >> okay, sure, guess that's exciting. >> it's an extraordinary, as you say, commendation from the nobel

committee and an honor he fully deserves. >> trevor: i get it, you're -- >> i get it you're proud of the president. what about your kids? i hear they're back in school. why did you send them back. >> the president pledging to restore patriotic education? our schools. >> you mean like the constitution. >> right. >> yeah, that's important to learn about. >> until this president, there was no discussion of it. >> okay, that's definitely not true. look, uncle lou, can i just be honest with you for a second? >> i will -- i -- it were your point of view in all things. >> good, because i have to tell you, i think you have a bit of an obsession with donald trump. am i right? >> it defy thinks kind of logic, reason or decency. >> yes! i know! it has me worried about you. it has the whole family worried. you're even starting to look like him. here.

the hair, the skin. >> it's delusion of one kind or another. >> exactly. >> and it's becoming extremely dangerous, in my opinion. your thoughts. >> yes, it's dangerous, and unhealthy! i'm so glad you're finally seeing it. oh, this is a really big day for you. >> it was a day of many gifts for president trump with 55 days till the election, new polling shows president trump has kept joe biden's lead in half. >> my god, i thought we were having a breakthrough. okay, take care, uncle lou, i'm going to go have about seven glasses of wine. >> impressive numbers. >> thanks to you. bye-bye! >> trevor: props to you for trying, desi, you're a great third niece. all right, we've got to take a quick break, but when we come back, i'll be talking to one of america's best legal journal ipsis about the legacy of ruth bader ginsburg. so stick around. ♪ ♪

♪ >> it's great, it's science, important. with regard to the forest, when trees fall down after a short period of time, about 18 months, they become very dry, they become really like a match stick. you know, there's no more water pouring through, and they become very, very -- they just explode. they can explode. it will start getting cooler. you just watch. >> i wish science agreed with you. >> i don't think science knows, actually. ♪

♪ vented where you want it. cool when you need it. coolzone™fly. from fruit of the loom®. ♪ at t-mobile, we believe access to the internet equals opportunity. that's why we're launching our most ambitious program ever. project 10 million. to help close the homework gap by offering school districts free internet access and mobile hotspots for 10 million eligible households over the next five years.

t-mobile. working to connect every student. itchy? scratchy? family not get charmin ultra strong. it just cleans better, so your family can use less. hello clean bottom! enjoy the go with charmin. pour-by-pour commentator. watch the patience of bubble 99. he waits for a hole between the refreshing bubbles, turns on the gas and takes it all the way to the foam zone... i cannot believe what i'm seeing! dos equis. a most interesting beer. thanks captain obvious. i'm you from the future here to warn you about 2020. it can't be that bad, right? let's just say it gets a bit dramatic. there's no toilet paper, hand sanitizer or sports, oh and trips were cancelled. what??! listen just choose free cancellation on hotels.com because no one knows what the future holds.

anything else? we're bald "the daily social distancing show. earlier today, i spoke with

slat's senior editor & legal correspondent. we talked ant ruth bader ginsburg and what's in store for the supreme court. dahlia lithwick, welcome to "the daily social distancing show. >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: so let's talk about the notorious r.b.g. a lot of people were fans of r.b.g. few people can say r.b.g. was a fan of theirs but that was your relationship with her. can you tell me how that came to be? >> there's no way i can answer that question, it's crazy, but i will say, before i met her, she had told jess at the "wall street journal," asked who she read, and she said she read me and then she went on to say she liked my writing because it was "spicey," which i think is ginsburg speak for a little bit sassy and irreverent. but i think that she appreciated that i didn't take the court

terribly, terribly seriously, and it was ironic comic from somebody who actually took the court terribly, terribly seriously herself. >> trevor: right. first things first, let's get it out of the way, t do the democrs have a fighting hope of stopping the republicans from appoint ago supreme court justice to that seat? >> i think, first things first, no. i think that senate democrats now have a choice about tactics of how to message this and how to use this to get out the vote in the election, maybe, you know, flip the senate, and get the president out of office, and just make the point that all of the sort of fighting about politics notwithstanding, the court is going to be the thing now that preserves minority rule in america and if you care about that do something about it in the election. it's not a very optimistic answer, but i think it's truly the only answer that i have. >> as someone who has for many

years struggled to understand how openly partisan the court system is in america, is america's supreme court system broken? >> i think that the framers certainly never anticipated that all reproductive rights in the country would turn on the death of an 87-year-old woman, right? something is broken. and you can parse it selves ways. i certainly think that we could say the court is broken because the senate norms around confirmation are broken and -- you know, we're talking about ruth bader ginsburg, she was confirmed, like, what, 96 to 3, and she sat and openly talked about her views of abortion and privacy, by the way, it wasn't like she was hiding the ball. so sometime between that vote and justice scalia's vote, something happened that got us to the area of 50/50 voting. >> trevor: right. >> and i think what happened

then became sort of the norm of, you know, we're not going to seat your justice, barack obama, because we're going to say it's a presidential year, but in four years we're going to say something different. so that norm broke. and i think the sort of heavy politicization of the court as america's football is, whether that means the court is broken or america is broken, i guess it's either/or. but we need the court, right? we've got daca this year. title 7 ensure this year that you can't be fired for being gay or transgender in the workplace. this is a big freaking deal. the court could save the affordable care act. we need the court. so the fact that the court is simultaneously broken and it's also sort of the last backstop, that's the really terrifying part. we need it to function. >> trevor: before i let you go, i wanted to pitch a solution to you. what if they reformed the way you choose the justices in america in that republicans and

democrats both pick their, like, top five, they put them into, like, balls like the lottery, and then you have to approve who gets put in, and everyone puts them in, like, a giant tumbler, you don't know which ball it's going to be, and that way you know whichever one gets pulled out has to be the supreme court pick. that's basically what it is. that way, i was thinking each side would be more likely to pick a justice they think is a reasonable person because it could be the other side's ball that pops up. do you think that would work? >> believe it or not, there's a serious proposal that's been put forth by some professors that's kind of a version of that that would have an equal number of justices from each side and have them choose. so it's a version of what you are describing, and i think there are sort of in the structural reforms category, if that's what we're calling it, there are reforms that look like that. and maybe, you know, like you don't have the vanna white be

the ball, but i do think at least you have the notion that everybody has a vested interest in picking. >> trevor: right. >> so like joe biden says, everything is on the table and i think they should put the ball in the basket solution on the table, too. there's nothing wrong with it, and it's probably better than a lot of the ideas that are being floated. so two thumbs up from this judge. >> trevor: well, that's all i can get from you. thank you so much again for taking the time. thank you again for your amazing writing. i would recommend everybody read it because if they want to know more about r.b.g. and why she was so fantastic, few writers v can write about her the way you have. thank you. >> thank you, trevor. >> trevor: we're taking a quick break. don't go away. after the break, i'll talk to one of the founders of the "black lives matter" movement. so stick around. give you my world ♪

♪ how can i, when you won't take it from me ♪ ♪ you can go your own way ♪ ♪ go your own way your wireless. your rules. only with xfinity mobile.

"the daily social distancing show. earlier today, i spoke with patrisse cullors, the co-founder and executive director of "black lives matter." we spoke about the state of the movement, how she's inspiring young activists, and what the movement is really about. check it out. preases preases, welcom -- patre cullors, welcome. >> thanks for having me back. >> trevor: as one of the founders of black lives matter, you are no stranger to the huge amount of pushback any slogan can get. when you came out with defund the police, more recently you started talking more about divesting from the police. is there a reason you started to

change, moving from defund? >> for us the defund movement will be the ultimate slogan of this movement. we're not going to step away from that. but we have been talking about divesting out of the police for a very long time, and it's just now it's been popularized in this moment where people are truly questioning the role of police. the breathe act, which is the modern-day civil rights legislation of our time, is looking at how do we not just talk aboutt about divesting or defunding from the police, but what does it look like to reinvest in our communities, into social services, into people having access to adequate public education, people having access to healthcare and healthy food. let's stop investing all our

dollars into the police and the criminal legal system and let's actually invest into human care and to dignity and to life for human beings. >> trevor: i have done extensive reading on, you know, reforming the police, i've done extensive reading on divesting from the police, defunding the police, all these different measures that people have proposed in different ways. how do you go from a world of police for everything to no police or to police for only a few things but not have that messy period in the middle where crime just goes up? >> i think there's a number of ways to do this. many of us, a better part of the defund movement or even the abolitionist movement are saying this can happen overnight. we know there have to be phases. phase one of the plan, what are one of the first things we can decriminalize, that we can make no longer illegal. i would say homelessness. i would say drug and alcohol

addiction. i would say mental health crisis. so if we start with just those three pillars of decriminalizing them or making them fully legal, then we could actually start by, okay, what do we do with the homeless population since we're not going to be investing the police to deal with them? oh, we can get them housing. how does that work? but i would really push this is where elected officials come in. congress, senate, local elected city council, board of supervisors, must work with the community to build a plan to phase us out of overpolicing. >> trevor: if i understand you correctly, what you're saying is the term defund the police is not so much getting rid of this now, it's building toward something, the same way when the president of the united states said we're going to put a man on the moon, he didn't say, we're going to build a rocket, and then we'll guild a station from the rocket to launch from.

it was, like, thi this is the ed goal and let's start the journey today. >> that's exactly right. >> trevor: you are a best-selling author. it's entitled "when they call you a terrorist," a story of "black lives matter" and the power to change the world. your memoir is really touching because you don't just talk about activism, you talk about your life and how you got into activism. i was really touched when you talk about how you grew up in a jehovah's witness family and how your mother was kicked out to have the house for being pregnant at 16. and you talk about how you were later on shunned by your family as coming out as queer. do you think that has imbued in yourself an affinity for all the groups that are marginalized in society? >> absolutely. i feel deeply connected to, say, the underdog, to marginalized communities, because i lived it firsthand as a young person growing up in a working class,

poor family, witnessing my single mom have to really be a single mother and not get the support, not just from her family, but also not get the support from the state, for the government, and witnessing my father and my brother be in and out of prison, i think that really impacted me both personally, but once it became an activist, i realized, oh, this is a much bigger system, and i can shape that system and i can be a part of a movement that shapes that system. >> trevor: before i let you go, there's one major issue that is going to affect the election in november, and that is how people perceive the protests that are taking place in the streets. you know, fox news and conservative media have done a really good job of framing this as an anarchist society where people are going to go around burning everything in the streets and that's what "black lives matter" is about. i've always been interested in

why yourself and your fellow co-founders of "black lives matter" haven't said, you know what, i'm going to be the front face leader of this movement and speak to what "black lives matter" would or wouldn't be doing? is there a reason you've shied away from this? >> we didn't become the leaders because we designated ourselves as the leaders. we became the leaders because people said, oh, these three women started this thing, and they must be the leaders. i do think with the protests in particular, we believet that people have the right, the constitutional right to protest and protest is not just here in this country. we've seen people across the globe stand up and protest. the "black lives matter" organization believes in nonviolent protests. we also believe that people are angry and hurt and are trying to figure out when is this government going to finally listen to us. we also know that, oftentimes, what happens inside protests are not always what they seem.

>> trevor: right. >> it's always "black lives matter" protestors burning up a building. sometimes and often it's agent provocateurs. so we have been very careful about how we talk about the protests because we don't truly know who's doing what, and it's important we stay on message about what we want. we want to defund the police, we want to invest in social services, we want the breathe act passed, and we want to make sure that our government treats black people as human beings. >> trevor: thank you so much for taking the time. thank you for the work that you're doing, and good luck with the rest of the journey. >> thank you so much, i appreciate you. >> trevor: all right, we're going to take a quick break. "the daily social distancing show will be right back after this. show for tonight. but before we go, if you liked hearing what patrisse cullors had to say earlier, consider donating to her organization, the black lives matter global network foundation. visit the link below to help out with anything.

until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, wear a mask, [ boos ] and -- no. guys, you can wear a trump mask -- [ boos ] okay, okay, go out there and get corona you rascals. now, here it is -- your moment of zen. just spread it! ha ha ha! >> before we leave, i just want to say one thing about ruth bader ginsburg. i want my wife to say her last wish, and i want to do something after she gives her last wish. >> very briefly. go ahead. >> go ahead, honey. >> well, her last wish, as we all know, it was a fervent wish that she would not be replaced until there was a new president, which is american fair play. >> and i want the wish to be heard so i'm going to blow the chauffer for her. ( horn blowing ) so now her wish will be heard and let it be heard all over the land!

>> tosh.o features videos from the internet and for a audience. enjoy. [ laughter ] ♪ a reverse nassar. that is when the patient gets to sexually assault the doctor. i've missed having us on air too. welcome fellow covid-19 survivors. i've decided to let you into the tosh.o bubble for one half hour. since i created the season of morning back in january, i never imagined we'd celebrate a million deaths worldwide.

way to put a mouth on it daniel. tonight you progressives will be happy to know the first ever web legend is black. it something in your house cake. the answer may surprise you. and this week's lucky son of a bitch. now let's watch her put the ho in covid. would i love an aggressive dry handy. we should treat all of our frontline workers with this level of god damn respect. it is better to ask allah for permission. you wearing a mark on top of your burqa or underneath it. bad news, we have to receiver your hand for dishonoring your husband. as someone who gets tested five times a day i know how uncomfortable it can be. sorry, i'm just scared. i'm just checking your temperature. nurse/patient confidentiality. >> you're good.