just 18 trump scandals away from election day. anyway on tonight's show: ronny chieng learns how to debate donald trump, the real reason wildfires have gotten so crazy, and we'll tell you how to ensure that your mail-in ballot is counted. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your house somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> trevor: today we're going to talk at voting. it's how america chooses which person it will be mad at for the next four years. even though election day is weeks away, the election has started in many states thanks to mail-in voting. there is one individual who is extremely unhappy about that. >> mail-in voting is going to be

the greatest fraud in the history of elections. there's no way you can go through a mail-in vote without massive cheating. the blat ballots are lost, frau, theft, all over the place. china, north korea, iran, these countries can grab those ballots or print forgeries. people get the ballots and hand them to people down the strait. they're mail-in ballots and they send them to anybody. two or three were sent to dogs, one sent to a cat. >> trevor: holy shit, guys, trump is freaking out. people are cheating, cats and dogs getting ballots. if i'm perfectly honest, i don't mind dogs voting but cats, you can't trust them for shit! those assholes will vote for

jill stein just to mess with us! meow! trump stories about kids and foreign countries rigging the election sound pretty terrifyin) hey, kid, go get ballot from mailbox and i will reward you with delicious russian candy. it's frozen onion. regardless of how it happens, trump's goal is to stir up fear about fraud, and if you commit fraud, you're going down, unless it's tax fraud, and trump will trade tips. but voter fraud, you're going down! are there's late incidents of voter fraud sometimes? there are. but of all the states, no evidence to anything close to widespread problems that can affect the election. but -- and this is a big but -- that doesn't mean america has no problems with mail-in voting at all. in fact the rale danger with mail-in voting isn't fraud, it's all the little things that can

get your vote thrown out. >> there is evidence of widespread rejection of mail-in ballots because of human error. in this year's primary more than half a billion ballots were thrown out for simple mistakes like signatures not matching the state's records, a missing signature, envelope problems and blots arriving after deadline. >> they have to sign the back of the envelope they mail in. rather than fill in the bubble and put an x or stray mark, the bloballot is discounted and thrn out. pennsylvania has two envelopes, the outer and inner one meant to preserve anonymity and protect from damperring. pennsylvania state court ordering officials to throw out mail-in ballots that arrive without both envelopes. >> 100 votes could be

invalidated because of missing privacy envelopes. president trump won in 2016 just by over 144,000 votes. >> trevor: hundreds of thousands of votes could get thrown out because of minor errors, from a missing signature to a partially filled out bubble. the more i learn about american democracy, the more i think to myself is you guys are invading other countries to give them this? maybe you guys should figure out this thing before taking it to the global market. i esee why the ballot requirement exists, they were designed to prevent fraud. but a perfectly legal vote could get thrown out. instead of not getting into your mail account, donald trump gets a second term. there are a lot of little things

you have to get right for your ballots to count. the other problem is most people just don't like reading instructions. it's the reason most of us can't cook. cooking is literally just reading instructions and doing what they say. yet half of us are going rogue in the kitchen like, it says a teaspoon of salt but my hand is basically a teaspoon, right? what do you mean my cookies got thrown out? those are perfectly valid cookies. now what are people supposed to eat at the orgy? if you are one of those people who don't make mistakes, kill yourself. turns out your government might make the mistakes for you. >> a mailer that was supposed to help district voters confirm their mail-in address is spark confusion. the d.c. board of election sent as many as 500,000 faulty mailers. if you follow the instructions and tear the card along the perforated lines before you mail it, vital information will not be included.

>> roughly 1400 voters in northern virginia got do you meant cat absentee ballots. what election officials are telling "the washington post" is this was a clerical error. >> absentee ballots are arriving in thousands of new york city mailbox bus we are told there's a major problem with the return envelope stuffed inside. voters tell us they were about to mail it in when they noticed the return address wasn't theirs. >> trevor: can you imagine that? the vote doesn't down to because the government messed up your ballot. that's why i have to vote for a better government but you can't because they messed up your ballot. the perfect crime. how come this never happens with the i.room s.? you never get to not pay your taxes because they messed up your name. mr. terver, time to pay your tax. not my name. we want your money! i'm not surprised this happens

with the ballots. this happens with all mail. think about everything you know about the people who used to live at your address just based on the mail for them that you still get. like i know the guy who lived here before me used to shop at west elm. i know he went to the university of arkansas and has terrible credit because of all the terrible credit cards i fill out in his name. thanks for the new tvish dave. appreciate it. your blood work came back, oooh! mistakes are made with mail-in ballots in every election, but this year donald trump is determined to hunt down any mistakes that could get a vote thrown out because he knows democrats are planning to overwhelmingly vote by mail. the vast majority of mail-in ballots should be fine, but if you want to be more sure that your vote will count, you should try to vote in person if it's safe for you to do so. and if your state offers early voting, that's a good way to avoid crowds and long lines on

election day. but if you can't vote in person, and you want to make sure that your mail-in ballot is counted, don't worry, "the daily social distancing show has got you covered. >> this year, many americans will be voting by mail for the first time. >> for some young voters, this will be the first time they've sent any mail at all. >> so to make sure your ballot is counted, we put together some simple mail-in voting dos and don'ts. >> do remember that unless you live in these nine states, you can only get in a mail-in ballot after you've applied for one and been approved. it's called consent. >> once you get your ballot, do vote as early as possible. in fact, i already filled out my ballot for the 2024 whreks. good luck on election night, steve buscemi. >> do follow all the instructions. mail-in voting is like building a bookshelf from ikea. skip one thing, the whole thing

could collapse and fall on your nephew and everybody stops talking to you. >> don't write in a fake address like 69 doggy style lane. actually, that's pretty good. i'm going to use that. >> do sign your name before sending your ballot in. that squibble bullshit you do on the credit card machine at cvs, no, your real signature. >> don't eat cheetos before you fill it out. >> don't use your ballot to writer rot cay. >> do remember your state might require a witness to sign your ballot. don't knock it, sometimes voting can be hotter when someone's watching. >> do not send in a naked ballot. in the states that require it, make sure to put your ballot inside the secrecy envelope before sending. >> also, do not send in a naked photo of yourself. i have been told by numerous election officials they are not

welcome even if they are extremely sexy. >> don't copy asian kids answers. this isn't high school algebra -- roy. >> ain't looking at you. i'm waiting for my turn to talk. >> really. >> yes. >> don't hand your ballot to anyone who introduces himself as an official ballot taste tester. he does not work at the post office. >> do take a selfie when you mail your ballot in because we all know humble bragging on social media is basically the whole point of voting. >> do not keep your ballot as a souvenir. what are you, an idiot? >> do give yourself a pat on the back after turning in your ballot. democracy was in your hands, and you did it. the bare minimum. well done. >> once you've voted, it's time to prepare for the post election chaos. do make sure you have enough wood to build yourself a bunker

and do not (~bleep ) with me at night! i'm ready, (~bleep )! >> trevor: save space for me, roy! we have to take a quick break. when we come back, we'll try to solve the wildfires happening on the west coast. then ronny chieng prepares to debate donald trump. we'll be right back.

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and that cilantro and it just brings out those flavors. it's very tender. when you're cutting it it's tender. when you're eating it it's tender. it's bomb steak. show. let's talk about wildfires, aka the coronavirus of the forest. as you probably know, the west coast has been devastated by massive fires burning for weeks. over the weekend, california saw one of its biggest blazes yet. >> those deadly new fires are raging out of control in northern california among the dozens now burning across the state and they exploded in size monday. those fires destroying homes, popular pine wiernies. >> before sunrise, entire neighborhoods were engulfed in flames, devouring an untold number of homes. >> it was a big red ball of fire right next to us. >> in napa valley 60 wineries are in the burn zone, an unknown

number damaged or destroyed. it covered cars with ash and turned cars red as the smoke blocked the sun. so far california has seen more than 8,000 wildfires destroying more than 7,000 buildings, scorching nearly 5800 square miles. that's the size of almost 3 million football fields. >> trevor: goddam that is terrible. so many beautiful wineries are being threatened by these wildfires. remember, there are a lot of people who rely on these wineries. you've got the owners, you've got the employees, you've got the economy of entire towns, and you know who i feel really bad for? america's book clubs because, without wine, they're going to have to discuss books sober. that's just english class. here's my question, though, how come wildfires never burn the shit we want them to. just once i want to turn on the news and hear about a wildfire burning down a pedophile's house, taking out a knee open nazi recruitment center.

another reason i hope these wineries get out of this thing okay is no because of just how awful it would be for the region but we'll have to start getting our wine from new jersey. hmm, i detect hints of adisdas track suit. with yet another wildfire breaking out in california, a record setting year continues to get worse for the west coast. the question many people are asking is why. why have wildfires gotten so out of control? is well, let's find out why in another installment of if you don't know, now you know. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> trevor: so why have wildfires been so bad in recent years? well, if you immediately said, duh, climate change -- then, okay, you're mostly right. >> it's a disastrous new normal,

catastrophic fires, once contained to one season, now a harrowing year-round battle. a major factor, climate change. in the last 40 years, fall temperatures in california have increased about two degrees while precipitation has dropped about 30%. >> longer dry seasons and extreme events like heat waves that synchronize the risk of fire across enormous landscapes. >> climate changes increasing the area burned by the average wildfire, more than doubling it since the 1980s. >> since 1930, five of the biggest fires so far out of the top ten have been this year. >> california is america fast forward. in other words, a postcard from the future. >> trevor: man, are you serious? california is basically a postcard from the future? that means the future is also on fire? it also means that the post office is still functioning in the future so i guess, whoo, we did it! and that really is mind blowing -- five of the biggest

fires have been this year? that's insane! although, this is 2020, so i'm kind of shocked that all of the biggest fires haven't been from this year. wildfires might be here to stay, which is awful for humans, but especially bad for trees, because they can't move. humans can just run away from a wildfire, but trees, they're just stuck there. can you imagine how terrifying that must be for them? aaahhh! aaahhh! aaahhh! now, there are a number of ways climate change makes wildfires bigger and more frequent. for instance, not only does drier wood and leaves make better fuel for fires, but hot weather is associated win creasing lightning strikes that ignite them. in fact, even small things about climate change can have a huge ripple effect that leads to fires, and i mean really small things. >> millions of drought-stressed trees in california forests were

low on sap which is their natural defense against the bark beetle. >> these are the little tiny bugs the size of a grain of rice. >> bark beetle infestation is linked to global warming. as weather gets warmer, they burrow into bark of pine trees, kill the trees and the pine trees essentially become sticks of kenned ling ready to burn. >> the beetles took down more than 160 million trees and that's where some of the largest fires are burning today. >> trevor: yeah, believe it or not, the spread of the tiny bark beetle is another way that climate change is make wildfires worse. even though climate change is really bad for us humans, for some other creatures, it's the best thing that happened. it's like how the trump administration has been a disaster for most people but great for various reptiles. i have to be honest, i never thought the apocalypse would be caused by such a lame villain. beetles are going to be the

reason everything is on fire? the last scene of "game of thrones" was bad enough when she was burning things by dragons. imagine she had beetles instead! let's get back to the kid who's a bird or something. i don't want to watch these beatings. so, yes, we have to address climate change. but the truth, is climate change isn't the only reason these fires have been getting worse. there's also at least a century of government stupidity. >> controlled fire or prescribed fire is the method of burning certain land to reduce wildfire hazards. this was developed by native americans thousands of years ago. these low intensity fires called cultural burnings have built most of california's forests. without them, they would become overgrown and unimaginable. as european colonizations was born, state and federal authorities folks edsed on

extinguishing any wildfires. the u.s. forest service said any fires that occur must be put out by 10:00 a.m. the next day. this limit did little to reduce the fuel growing on the forest floor. even with the policies. california still has fuel loads waited to be burned from centuries ac making it far more expensive than previously thought. >> trevor: one thing that would help allot is if california had been doing more controlled burns which is basically you burn a little to prevent a lot from burning later. same way you meet your college friend for coffee so you don't have to have a three-hour dinner with them. pretty unbelievable that california is now doing what they outlawed the native people from doing. i guess it's kind of hard, though, to kick somebody off their land and take their advice at the same time. this is my property now you savage! also, before you go, do you have any landscaping tips, like

mulching techniques or anything i have to learn? obviously, it's bad enough that wildfires are burning millions and millions of trees. what makes it an especially big problem for people is that we have been giving the fires a lot more of our stuff to burn. >> since 1990, 60% of all the homes in the united states have been built in the wild land urban interface. >> we have houses in places we didn't used to have houses and that puts people and property at risk. >> as more houses are built near wild lands, more burned. 50 years ago, wildfires destroyed a few hundred structures per year across the united states. now it's more than 3,000. in california alone, more than 6 million houses are in wild areas. >> because urban housing is so expensive, instead of avoiding the high risk zones, californians continue to build in a tinderbox of grass and trees boxed by a windy canyon. >> instead of a smoky bears in the middle of the woods, we need him in suburbia.

>> trevor: you do yourself a favor and stay out of the suburbs. we don't want karen calling the cops on you. hello 911, there's a bear in my neighborhood and he's, um, he's brown. and one big problem is more and more people are building homes in the middle of the forest. and let's place the blame where it belongs here, with the keebler elves. yeah. these guys made living in the forest look to cool everyone started doing it. you get to be many a tree making cookies all day, sounds great, but the cookies are covered with beetles. if we're honest here, guys, one of the biggest issues is human arrogance. we think we can build wherever we go. wherever we build a house, that's our land now. it's the same way people in florida are always surprised when alligators show up. oh! there's an alligator in my backyard! no, there's a person in that alligator's house. but the good news is we can fix these problems. yeah, believe it or not, the

wildfires don't have to happen the way they have been. we can stop them if we take action to reduce climate change. we can stop them if we maintain the forests. and we can stop them if we build in environmentally sensitive ways. as for those beetles -- you leave them to me. time for a short break. don't go away. when we come back, ronny chieng takes us into the world of debating donald trump. we'll be right back.

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go where love takes you. show. joe biden has spent a lot of time preparing for the debate tonight. but how do you prepare for a 90-minute conversation with donald trump? well, our very own ronny chieng talked about it with a debate expert who had a personal experience. check it out. >> it's finally debate night. trump versus biden, the royal ramble. so how is this going to play out? felipe rinus, former advisor to hillary clinton has a few ideas, that's pause he played trump in clinton's 2016 debate prep. what qualified you for this? is it a spider-man situation where you got bit by one of the trumps and was it eric. >> someone said you had been practicing for this role your whole life you just didn't know it. i could be tough, not nice,

caustic. the point was to let hillary clinton get used to this idiot making a lot of noise, some of which is just nonsensical. >> during the 2016 campaign, people basically said, hey, look, we need to find the biggest dick available to us right now and that's you. >> that's me. >> how did this big dick get deep inside trump's head? the first step was getting into his pants. >> i went to my tailor and said i need to look like donald trump. he gave me a suit too baggy, the sleeves too long. i bought 3.75-inch lifts in my shoes because he's 6-6, 6-7. i didn't wear a big because i didn't want to make a mockery of it. >> with three inch lifts and overside suit, that was just silly enough? >> could i have done as good a job if i was wearing a blue blazer or a onesy? probably. this was my process. i wanted to -- it was method

acting. it was i wanted be him. >> you went method to play a president in debate prep? look at 99-cent store daniel day lewis. as ridiculous as it sounds this guy deserves anos car for president del baiting. it's more like a beautiful mind. >> it wasn't just a matter of studying how to copy him, it was thinking of through what it is he might do. i knew he would be confused and walk andersono stage and not know where to stand. so i did that. and, in the second debate when donald trump started lurking and creeping around hillary, she had experienced it already during our debate prep. >> wow, this guy really knows trump. >> how do you think trump will be different in 2020 debates versus 2016? is this going to be a sequel that can't live up to an original, or is trump going to

be like the fast and furious movies and just keeps getting better and more furious is it? >> donald trump was dangerous in 2016 because he had nothing to lose. in 2020, donald trump is dangerous but for the opposite reason. he is a wounded animal. some animals are inherently mea. if you kick a jackal, he's going to be more of a dick than he is the normal day just walking around the tundra or whatever you call, the bush or the -- >> have you ever kicked a jackal before? >> an actual jackal or have i -- no, i don't think i've ever seen a jackal. i grew up in manhattan so i don't know what people call the wild. >> if this guy understands trump as much as he doesn't understand nature, maybe he could help the blind campaign. what strategy would biden use to defeat trump in a debate keeping

in mind everyone's minds are made up and american democracy is broken, but how can biden win? >> if joe biden is trying to out-trump trump, he's going to lose because we already have a trump. one of joe biden's biggest assets is he does not always sound like a politician. the craziest oldest person ever to be president just told me i'm crazy and old. do i just say, i just took a test, have a doctor and am perfectly healthy or do you say, are you kidding me, this guy (~bleep ) it up, i'm going to un(~bleep ) it. >> so you can't out( as trump ) but everything you're suggesting sounds like trump. so are youio saying you can ( as trump ) by being somewhat trumpy but not over-trumping it or are you saying don't be trump at all? >> it's a very tough balance.

>> i got, be trump but don't be trump. so joe biden for the next debate be like a jackal in the bush -- or the tundra? forget it. i hope you're not watching this. >> trevor: thank you so much for that, ronny. when we come back, i'll be talking to the ballerina and superstar misty copeland. so stick around. back to

"the daily social distancing show. sorelyier today, i spoke with misty copeland, the first black principal dancer at the american ballet theatre. we talked about representation in ballet, her new book for children and a whole lot more. misty copeland, welcome to "the daily social distancing show. >> thank you so much for having me. >> trevor: you are one of the most accomplished ballet dancers in the world. you're also one to have the most recognizable faces in the world, not just because of how good you are but because of how many boundaries and barriers you broke down in just doing what you do, you know, being the first black lead in swan lake,

being the first black principal dancer in a major ballet company. these are huge achievements. now you've written a picture book that inspires kids to follow in your footsteps. i've read this book. aren't you setting me up for failure? ( laughter ) >> oh, man. something i do and carry in everything i do in my life and career is really bring ballet to more people and educate people on what it is. there are so many misconceptions and pre-conceived notions and tropes that come along with being a blac ballerina in film d television and media that just aren't reality. we're not living in the black swan movie. we come into dance to find a way of expressing ourselves, to find happiness, to find beauty and

joy. so that's something i've always wanted to high light, the camaraderie, the relationships that develop. so within bundheads, we have a misfit group of diverse characters. there are boys. they're all ages and backgrounds. we have myself a young misty, her first day in ballet class. we have catalina, a mexican-american girl, who was my best friend growing up. i just wanted to show we can find differences in one another and learn from those differences and grow and support onet another which i think is such a huge part of the ballet community. >> trevor: yeah, it's a really powerful story because so many of the things that you deal with not just in this book but your life really relate to what people have been talking more about, it feels, in 2020, and that is how do we make space more equitable? how do we give people an equal opportunity to succeed.

for a long time people would say you can do ballet if you want to, doesn't matter the color of your skin. but you learned early on, it did to you. people said to you your body type is too muscular. we see a lot of narratives. you saw it with the william sisters in tennis. well, you know, they're not classic tennis players in the way they look. it's a theme we see over and over again. once you're in those spaces, what you have done to try to change the ideas that exist in the world of ballet that's seen as a white space? >> i mean, you just kind of hit it right there. i mean, so much of the language i had to, like, decipher and really understood it's code, it's this code language that's in the ballet world and so much of the white world has been able to get away with. you know, we're in a visual art form that's about your aesthetics, so it seems acceptable to say, i'm sorry, you just don't have the right

body type. what does that mean? well, i have brown skin. it means the girls standing next to me have just as big muscles and breasts and they are not being told that. so so much of it has been just knowing how to navigate in a way that, you know, is palatable for white people in the ballet world, but that's honest and allows people to really understand the underlying narrative that's been a part of the ballet culture and community from the beginning of time. >> trevor: you've inspired so many people with your story. you are one to have the few people on the planet that could say prince was inspired whic byu which blows my mind. prince was an enigma. i met him once and he seemed to know everything about everything. for him, misty copeland was a source of inspiration. what do you think it was that connected you and the late great prince?

>> i'm so happy you had a chance to meet him, first of all. he was someone who was constantly educating himself. he was so invested and involved in learning about the next generation on what people were doing, whether politics, art, music. it was such an honor to even have an opportunity to share the stage with him and to collaborate and he gave me so much confidence and belief in myself to be able to be a free artist. and especially as a black ballet dancer, we often aren't given that freedom. we're told what to do. we're doing steps from hundreds of year old ballets and having the freedom to create and bring ourselves to it. >> trevor: you have been responding to what's happening in the coronavirus. one of the biggest areas devastated by the coronavirus has been the arse. sometimes people take it for granted, but, i mean, the arts, you know, it's sometimes the fabric of how we live our lives,

it's the music playing in the background, it's the thing we watch to take our minds off how hard life can be. i know that you've got a program where you set out to try and keep, you know, dancers just living during this time. what is the program and why do you feel it's so important to keep the world of ballet alive? >> i know that, in times of crisis like this, people congregate towards art and music. it feels as though it's kind of this frivolous thing in times like that, but it's not. and, you know, as elite as ballet seems, we are not making a lot of money. i'm not going to say we because i have a lot of other projects going on endorsing the deal so i'm not going to include myself in that category. but as professional dancers, they're not going to be making the money they should be as professional athletes deserve to be making. so i felt it was my responsibility with the platform and the reach i have to use this

time to bring awareness to, you know, what dancers are going through. so i started -- i co-founded swans for relief with a co-worker of mine who is in a company in the philippines in manila. i decided to call on all my ballerina sisters from around the globe and ended up with 32 from professional top countries and from 14 different countries and we came together and performed one very iconic variation to raise funds and bring awareness to each ballerina's respective covid relief fund. so you can go to go fund me and sponsor relief. >> trevor: thank you for inspiring us, for the work you're doing and joining us on the show. >> thank you so much for having me. >> trevor: thank you so much for that, misty. as we

talked about tonight, the west coast is battling horrific wildfires that are destroying millions of acres of land and displacing thousands of people. climate change has been a key factor in increasing the risk and extent of these conditions. one organization that has been working to find practical solutions for climate change and other environmental threats, is the environmental defense fund. if you can help them, and would

like to join in their cause, please visit the link below, and donate what you can. until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, wear a mask, and remember, check your ballot before you wreck your ballot. now, here it is -- your moment of zen. ♪ ♪ >> well, i think i bring an aura that people know i know what i'm doing, i know what is happening, i know where we should be going. >> i know a lot about helicopters. >> i know a lot of works, like okeechobee, i know it well. >> what the hell do i know about it? >> i don't know anything about it! "tosh.o" "tosh.o" features videos from the internet and is intended for a mature audience. enjoy.

♪ ♪ ♪ if this doesn't at least chub you up a little, you're a homophobic racist. welcome to tosh.o when every die feels like a funeral for society, you dress accordingly. it's the season of mourning.