ere's the heart?re's the - ah, you know the answer but not the question.not - the question is: where is the heart? heart - very well, you want to see the heart of wall mart? it lies beyond that plasma screen television.s - it's a mirror. - yes, don't you see? you, the consumer. i take many forms-- wall mart, k-mart, target--s-- ah ha ha ha ha! ah ha ha ha ha!ah ha now you see me as i truly am!as i tru - get out! it's gonna blow! - dad, come on, we gotta get out!come on it's too late for me, son!'s too i have to buy this stuff!ave to

- the wall mart is imploding!l mart everybody out now!erybo [all screaming] ( s [fart] - haa ha ha ha! - boys, you did it! you did you killed the wall mart!the - how did you do it, kyle?( - all wall marts start a self-destruction sequence if you break a mirror brea in the back.art we know how to destroy it now. in w spread the word to other towns.spread - wait, i think i understand the symbolism of the mirror.td the the wall mart... is us. - duh. - you see, boys, if we like our small-town charm more than big corporate bullies,more we all have to be willing to pay a little bit more. bl do you understand? - yeah!yeah

let's all go shop at jim's drug down, the street! [all cheering] all: ♪ oh, lord, kumbaya - all right, let's not make that mistake again. not n. - yeah, let's go shop over at true value.o shop - let's go! - yeah! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com welcome to "the daily social distancing show." i'm trevor noah.

today is monday, the 26th of october, which means, if you live in washington, colorado, montana, you only have an hour left to request a mail-in ballot! there's no excuse not to! unless you're a baby, in which case, why are you watching this show? if you're not in bed by now, how do you plan to wake your parents up at 2:00 a.m.? you gotta focus, baby! anyway, coming up on tonight's show -- donald trump is giving up, the party's at the early voting line, and i talk to the boss himself. bruce springsteen. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah. ♪ ♪ >> trevor: let's kick it off with the big story. election day is now just eight days away. so at this point, my friends, you can forget about getting in shape for it because election

day bodies are made during the primaries. this year, votes for are not waiting till the first tuesday in november to cast their ballots. >> the record number of americans taking advantage of early voting across the country. >> an unprecedented 57 million ballots have been cast, more than 40% to have the total votes counted in the 2016 general election. at one of new york city's premier venues snaking around the block in brooklyn while marching bands drum up excitement. >> incredible turnout in the lines. i've never seen this before in my life. >> americans don't even have to be earthbound to vote. >> u.s. astronaut kate rubens casts her ballot with help from mission control from the international space station. >> i think it's important to vote. if we can do it from space, ebl folks can do it from the ground,

too. >> that's super cool. an astronaut voted in space? wow. still weird that she had to wait in line for 10 hours but that's cool. i don't know if this was the kind of story that would inspire people to vote just because a astronaut did. it's easy to vote in space. what do you have? nothing, no responsibilities. down mere we have to work, we have to check instagram every 20 minutes. in space, you float around, talk to some guy in houston. you're riffing the dream. i'm glad astronauts can vote but america has to ask itself about its priorities when it's easier for a white lady in space to cast their ballots than someone in georgia. looks like people are lining up to buy michael jordan -- not air jordans. i heard they've only got one. i want the baseball version. even with the long lines, even with the suppression, america is still hitting record levels of

early votes. there are so many early votes that the president could already have been decided and we just don't know it. it's like the week before christmas when your parents have already bought your gift and you weren't allowed to find out what it is. so it could be a brand-new president -- or it's the same one as last time! i shook the box and it grabbed me by the pussy! with election day so close, the big issue on everyone's mind is still the coronavirus pandemic, which is funny, because when you think about it, this whole year everybody has been wait for an october surprise and turns out the october surprise is we're still talking about the same shit we were talking about in march. surprise! so with america now seeing more daily infections than ever before and hospitalizations rising in many states, the two candidates are staking out their positions on covid 19. last week democratic candidate joe biden announced that he will push a nationwide masked

mandate, deploy the defense production act to drive the manufacture of p.p.e., and begin testing 7 million people each day. and then president trump president trump revealed his take on the pandemic. boring! >> that's all i hear about now. that's all i hear, turn on television. coved, coved! covid, covid, covid! covid! a plane goes down, 500 people dead, they don't talk about it. covid, covid, covid, covid! >> trevor: i can safely say i've never seen a world leader get bored of a crisis. also it's weird donald trump is saying this when he's still the one talking shit from 2015. covid, covid, covid -- i'm so bored! why isn't anyone talking about hillary's e-mails? keep up with the times, people. but, hey, shout out to covid for helping trump understand what we've felt the past five years. every time we switch on the tv and heard his name, trump trump trump, always trump.

oh, and by the way, maybe the reason the news isn't talking about the plane that went down with 500 people is because there was no plane that went down with 500 people. and if you think 500 pretend people dying is big news, remember almost 1,000 real people a day are still dying from covid 19 covid. if you're going to bullshit us, at least make the numbers work. have a fake airplane crash into another fake airplane that goes down and crashes into a pretend petting zoo and the animals get out and more than 600 people. how does the president not get it? people are talking about covid because people are still dying from covid. imagine in the captain of the titanic had this attitude. all anyone is talking about is drowning drowning drowning, as if tonight's not all you can seat shrimp night at the dining hall! i know what you're thinking. if trump is tired of hearing about covid on the tv news, there's actually something that he could do about it, just turn off the tv.

but even that might not work because these days the news is coming from inside the house. >> this morning, concerns of another coronavirus outbreak at the white house, after five of vice president mike pence's associates including his chief of staff test positive for covid 19. his chief of staff mark short was with the vice president on every campaign stop last week including friday night at a rally in ohio. short now in isolation and experiencing symptoms. pence's body man, a personal assistant who accompanies him virtually everywhere, a i political aide who recently twavld with pence on air force two along with two other staffers. but c.d.c. guidelines call for 14-day queent quarantine after exposure to the virus. a spokesman says pence will travel as planned in accordance with the c.d.c. gliensz for essential personnel. pence says campaigning for

office does not qualify as essential. >> trevor: ted of the vice president task force has covid all over his office. it's like finding out the flash came in second in a marathon. i don't care where he's from, you're supposed to be the flash. technically this is one way to keep track of covid 19. you know what they say, keep your friends close and the coronavirus even closer. honestly, though, people, i'm not mad at pence. i'm just disappointed in him. because i get trump not following the rules. we know he can't read. but don't tell me mike pence can't follow strict protocols. that dude's rules about being around women are more complicated than rules for meeting the queen. i'm sorry. i thought you were going to chop my neck off so you could become highlander and that's why i fought you. this is good information for us to learn about the virus from trump getting it. you know you can get it from

breathing the same air as someone positive but you can't catch it if you spend all that time kissing that person's ass. even after he's been exposed to the virus, mike pence is still going to campaign. a terrible idea and honestly i think it will backfire because who the hell is going to a rally with mike pence if that might give you coronavirus? i know people go to trump rallies after he got covid but that's trump. his rallies are fun. that's worth getting corona for. no one cants corona from mike pence especially because he already makes you feel like you have corona. after he talks you're exhausted. it's hard to breathe and you just want to lie down. but turns out there's actually a very good reason that the white house isn't following guidelines for preventing the spread of the virus. they just don't want to. >> and the white house sounds like they are admitting that they have given up on trying to stop the spread of coronavirus. chief of staff mark meadows telling cnn "we are not going to control the pandemic." >> here's what we have to do.

we are not going to control the pandemic. we are going to control the fact that we get vaccines, therapeutics and other mitigations. >> why aren't we going to control the pandemic. >> because it is a contagious virus just like the flu -- >> trevor: interesting. so the plan is to just let coronavirus spread freely throughout america? it's interesting howsine trump's people are about this, you know, because with an immigrant child who came over the border, they, like, zero tolerance! one is too many! we have to deport! but with a virus killing hundreds of thousands of americans they're like, look, man, the virus is just trying to make a better life in our lungs, who are we to stop it? but yes you heard that right, the trump administration is basically surrendering to the coronavirus. they're not using the word surrender but admiting they're not going to control the pandemic is basically surrendering. in fact we actually have the tape of trump himself personally surrendering to covid 19. >> it's over after eight months of bitter fighting, this morning

president trump surrendered america to the coronavirus. >> i gotta hand it to you, coronavirus, you outsmarted me, and you outwitted me, also. america is all yours. >> why don't you guys just wear masks? >> no, thanks. i'd rather just surrender. >> trevor: you did the best you could, mr. president. at least you tried. all right, when we come back we continue our epic countdown of donald trump's top 100 scandals and stay tuned because bruce springsteen goingts be on the show.

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we thought for sure that we were done. and this town said: not today. ♪ is someone trying to steal your butterfinger? call the bfi. woah... i'm going in. no one lays a finger on your butterfinger.

advisor? donald trump has all of these, and it's helped make him the most scanned-ridden president in american history. but which of these scandal also is the best of the worst? "the daily show" conducted historians, political scientists and psychoanalysts and we ignored all those people and pulled something out of our ass.

this is donald trump's 100 most tremendous scandals, and we're picking up right where we left off at number 75. >> this was the largest audience to ever witness an inauguration period. >> alternative facts. >> whether they may have had some kind of russian money funneling through them to help them. >> tax dollars to travel by private jet. >> $43,000 soundproof phone booth and swear to heart deal of 50 a month rent for capital lobtist. >> $139,000 price tag for new doors. >> high ended taxpayer funded dinners. >> $300 million contract. >> work for a place that marked a masculine toilette for well endowed men. >> it's a wonderful line. i own some. bite today. >> what was my temperament yesterday. >> very calm, no temper tantrum. >> urging government perceived enemies. >> ivanka. >> security clearances. >> email servers.

>> jeffrey epstein. abuse allegations from wives. >> rate has continued to court political controversy particularly with regards to the death of a navy seal. >> you've got to clean your floors and your forests. >> millions of twitter followers boycotting an american company. >> i said please don't be too nice. >> shooting them in the legs forward fy'ing a bored wall with a trench stocked with snakes and alligators. >> they want more people in their sanctuary cities, we'll give the them more. >> crazy lashes or pocahontas. >> obama wiretapped him in trump tower that came from a bite bart article that was a total conspiracy theory. >> i know nothing about cue q anon. >> i just told you. >> it doesn't necessarily make it fact. >> damn that's exhausting. you thought you weren't getting anything done at the office. that brings us to tonight's final scandal coming in at number 51. involves twitter a category 5 hurricane and the worse use of a

sharpie since your college roommate drew a d... nature's fury. in department of 2019, a storm was drew brewing in the atlantic. >> hurricane dorian making its way toward the united states. forecasters expecting it to make a dramatic turn to the north. >> i'm not sure i've heard of a cght 5. i knew it existed. a category 5 is something that i don't know that i've ever even heard the term other than i know it's there. >> the hurricane dorian was nothing compared to the temp estabout to blow the roof off the oval office. hurricane donald. >> the national weather service had to scramble the correct misinformation from president trump about dorien. >> president trump tweeted in addition to florida, south carolina, north carolina and georgia, alabama will be hit much hard than anticipated. >> the national weather service corrected the. saying alabama will not see impacts from dorien. >> suddenly america was caught between two claims, but who to

believe? scientists who have dedicated their lives to the study of weather patterns? or a man who thinks wind is cause bid birds flapping too hard? >> this is a tough hurricane. one of the wettest we've ever seen from the standpoint of water. >> as the people of alabama braced for massive destruction with slightly overcast skies, there was still time to avoid disaster. all president trump had to say was sorry, i was wrong, the hurricane is not going to hit alabama. >> alabama is going to get a piece of it, it looks like. it is a very, very powerful hurricane. a great place, it's called alabama, and alabama could even be in for at least some very strong winds and something more that be that, it could be -- >> that's right, although the experts tried to make trump understand, he had already bored up his ears. hurricane dorian had moved on. narrowly missing alabama by 600 miles. but hurricane donald was just forming. after seeing an abc news report on his mistake, trump gained new

strength, tweeting. >> such a phony hurricane report by light weight reporter john karl of abc news. >> it was a direct attack on science and twitter user jonathan karl who is a kentucky pastor and not abc news anchor john karl, an innocent victim of hurricane donald. over the next 36 hours, hurricane donald seems to die down, but then it returned. this time with a sharpie. >> in a white house video released wednesday, trump displays a modified national hurricane center forecast. the graphic appears to be altered with a sharpie to indicate a risk the storm would move into alabama. >> i know that alabama was in the original forecast. they actually gave that a 95% chance -- >> that's right, donald trump tried to redraw a map with a sharpie! have some respect for our intelligence! at least learn to photoshop. but what if the culprit wasn't trump at all? >> it looked like it had a

sharpie. >> i don't know, i don't know. >> it was a real mystery. who could have possibly take an sharpie to a hurricane map? it had to be someone with an almost pathological session with using the permanent markers as if they needed their marks to be the boldest, the loudest, the most permanent, but who? there would be no way to know for certain. the storm raged for days, growing in strength until it became a category 5 tweet storm. government agencies that most americans had never even heard of transformed into hazardous projectiles. >> secretary of commerce wilbur ross threatened to fire top employees at n.o.a.a. on friday after the agency's birmingham office contradicted trump's claim. >> trevor: what began as one bad tweet escalated into a full scale political scanned with not one, not two but three government investigations. like a sharmy drawing a fake path of a hurricane, it's a scanned that simply can't be erased, all because there was a

hurricane over a year ago that had a 5 to 20% chance of hitting alabama but ultimately didn't. i remember sharpie gate very well, though i like to call it pengazi. that's all the time we have for tonight. join us next time as we explore the world of porn stars, lill rocket man and five different flavors of racism as we continue to count down donald trump's 100 most tremendous scandals. >> trevor: all right, we have to take a quick break, but we don't want you to go anywhere because when we come back i'll be talking to the legend bruce springsteen. this is the story of two bills. one is used to things being hard. ♪ the other found a smarter way. one does it how it's always been done. ♪ the other does it better.

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for $100 get 2 iphone 12 pros + 2 new lines with unlimited 5g data included. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily social distancing show." earlier today, i spoke with the legendary musician bruce springsteen. we talked about his new album and documentary, the upcoming election, and so much more. >> the estreet band makes me dream, think and write big. when i'm amongst my friends, i allow a certain part of my mind that seems to be reserved for only them to be set free, and i dwell in a house of a thousand dreams. >> trevor: bruce springsteen. welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> thank you very much! >> trevor: it is truly an honor to have you here because you are not just an artist, you are not just a successful artist, but, in many ways,

people would say that you write the story of america in your music. you have been extremely successful doing it. i mean, 20 grammys, two golden globe's, a tony award, an oscar. at this stage of your life, what do you think bruce springsteen is still trying to tell people through his music? >> (laughs) just trying to keep going. at 71, i'm just trying to make it to the next record and the next show, you know. but, uh, i don't know, i guess if someone was interested in sort of a little bit of cataloging the history of the united states since, say, 1970 in the post-industrial period in music, looking for music that dealt with some of the issues that have occurred over the past

40 or 50 years, you know, they could do worse than going and digging into some of my stuff, i suppose, you know. so if i have been good for anything, maybe i have been good for that a little bit. and then the rest of the time, i'm just trying to entertain you and help you do your wash and your laundry and vacuum your floor and dance a little bit in the kitchen and, you know, we're here to soothe your soul through troubled times a little bit if we can, and that's how i look at my job. >> trevor: one thing that makes your job so interesting, or rather the execution of your job, is that it feels like you're talking about everybody's lives, everybody's society, what you see going on. i mean, you've written music about police brutality many, many years ago. if someone played that song today, you would be, like, you wrote it about now. but when you've looked at those themes. i always wanted to know what do you think you're getting across

to the listener? what do you think the music is trying to achieve? shine a light on the subject, or enfies your politics on what you experience in and around the world. >> i suppose it's a little bit of both. you know, it's the way you see things and how you're experiencing them, and there's a part of me that says if you were interested in knowing what it was like to be a citizen of the united states between 170 and 2020, like i said, you know, that may be in my work a little bit. a lot of the times, you're just written -- you just write what moves you, what -- and then, but, also, you write what you are able to write about because, very often, i don't -- i don't operate from the conceptual -- from a conceptual place first. i operate sort of internally first and then it becomes outward.

so a song, say like "american skin" that i wrote in 1998 about the amadu dialo shooting can feel current today, but it was just something current at the time i remember thinking we were coming to new york, i wanted to have a new piece of music, and that was -- that had recently occurred, and i was just able to write about it. so i did, you know. i didn't think it was going to be particularly controversial at the time. it ended up being a little more so than i thought. but that's kind of how i approached this. the political aspect in my music is through implication. i try to write good -- i try to write good three-dimensional character studies where i bring lives through life, you know, and create -- and create

breathing, living human beings that we all recognize in my music, and then i kind of let the politics speak for itself, you know. of course, some of your own comes through, but i really -- i wouldn't -- i don't consider myself a topical songwriter, i don't consider myself a political songwriter. if anything, at this late age, i would say i'm a little more -- i have been saying i'm a little bit more of a spiritual songwriter in that's what's sort of been driving some of my most recent work. so that's basically the way i look at my job and what i do. >> trevor: i think that's one of the more fascinating things about you is that you always refer to it as a job, you know, even in the documentary, i loved how you've reunited the e street

band. here you are 50 years from the inception of this idea, and you guys are jamming, and you play for a very long time. i love that you say to the guys, guys, this is our job, we have a job to do, and everyone's talking about a job and it's work. you guys are having a great time but it's like you're working. it's like, we're working, we're getting the chords, we're doing the thing. why do you think it works so handwash? you may think it's an obvious question, but why do you work so hard and play for so long to make the songs the way they are? >> i just like to do it, you know. it's the way i've enjoyed doing my job since i was a very, very young man. you know, when i was 18 or 19, i was used to playing five hours a night in a bar. so i was very used to that kind of playing very early in my work life, and i also felt i was desperate to communicate, and i

just -- starting from when i was young, i felt there was a lot i wanted to talk to you about right now, and i don't know what tomorrow brings, but i know that this evening we're all here, and we're in this room. so i'm interested in making the most of my opportunity to speak to you tonight, and that drove me more than anything else. it's something i've just always enjoyed. i've enjoyed doing when i come offstage, i feel a release and a catharsis that occurs through that kind of work, and i don't think that -- and that's what's driven me, you know. so it's really what drives you and how you approach your job, and i always approached it as -- as this very sort of i would say joyous work. you know, i've gotten a tremendous amount of joy out of

it. we're serious when we get on the stage or come in the studio, so it's not exactly what i would call a party atmosphere, i suppose, you know, but it's a work atmosphere where there's an enormous amount of happiness and joy in simply what we're accomplishing. >> trevor: don't go away. when we come back, we've got more with bruce springsteen treo

"the daily social distancing show." here's part two of my interview with bruce springsteen. for a long time, your music has been the catharsis. you have seen people who have felt unseen, you have spoken about towns that are forgotten in time, you've spoken about industries and places and people that seem to have been completely forgotten and, yet, at the same time, you have as big a following on the coast. you cross, you know, all walks of life. i wonder if you ever sit and ask yourself why you think you do so well with such a broad swath of

people? >> well, i would say, first and foremost, i'm a good storyteller, you know, and people like stories. and they like stories that connect to their inner geography. your inner geography may or may not have to do with anything you've experienced or not experienced, it's simply the geography of your emotional life. and i believe i've done well at speaking to that, you know. and our largest audience is in europe. we have two-thirds of our audience exists in europe now. much, much bigger than the united states. and, so, why is that? i think i'm a good story teller, you know, and i think in new york people are very interested in america and american myth and what's going on over here, and those are the

stories i've told since i was a young man, and, but, really, i believe what's at the heart of it is people like your music, they like the way it sounds, they like the way you sing, and they like the stories you tell. >> trevor: you tell stories that some people cannot tell for themselves, you know. i always loved listening to your music because i felt like it took me on a journey through what people refer to as the heartland of america. what i've also been intrigued by in your music is how people oftentimes miss the meaning open your music, misconstrue your music or have a completely different understanding oft what the music is. so, for instance, a great example is "born in the u.s.a.," people play it in a way that -- when you listen to the lyrics, you're, like, th's this doesn't seem like how people are dancing. yeah! this is a song about take over the world, i'm born in the u.s.a.! and your song seems like you're

questioning this whole idea of what america is doing in the vietnam war and, again, it can translate to what's happening today. how do you feel like that when people are playing your song for the opposite reason you wrote the song for? >> well, in this particular case, this is my cross the bear, so i try to bear it with a smile, but i think what the issue is is that the key to some of my music is you need to be able to hold two contradictory ideas in your mind at the same time, which is sort of the measure -- a bit of the measure of adulthood. so you need to be able to deal with the fact that a song can be both prideful and critical, and that idea is very essential to a lot of my music because that's

how i feel, you know. i'm proud of my country, i've had an amazing life and gotten the best outof it through living here, but there's a lot to continue to be critical about. so both of those things are going into my music. it's a bit up to the listener to listen well if you want to get the whole picture, but to do so you've really got to be able to hold the idea, pride and criticalness can go hand in hand. >> trevor: let's talk about being critical then. you came out in an interview recently and said, if trump wins a second term, you will move to australia. ( laughter ) i don't think that's true, right? it just didn't feel like that's something you would do. >> well, i don't think i'm going to go there, but i'm not sure yet. ( laughter ) so we'll see. but, you know, i'll be glad to see him go.

i think he's going to lose, and i'll be glad to see that happen. >> trevor: we've got a new album from bruce springsteen. we've got a documentary. we've got so many pieces of material of yours we can enjoy. you have new music that's come out. you have previously unreleased tracks from decades and decades ago that you've remade for today. it feels like you've always been sure about yourself, its feels like you're prolific because you know you have something to say, but i wonder, when you create, do you still have doubts sometimes? >> well, any good artists wrestle with their insecurities. it's your insecurities that move you forward. if you were simply comfortable with -- completely comfortable with who you are and what you're doing and where you've gone, i don't know if you would have the fire in you to move forward. it's your doubts and your questions and your searching for new and different answers that

move you forward in your work. so i would describe myself, do i have more artistic security than i had when i was 23? in some ways, but i don't believet that that necessarily had anything to do with the quality of the music that i was writing. i can look back and say, when i was 25, i made this record "born to run," and as good as any record i've ever made. i wrote it when i was 24 years old. i've got songs on this album i wrote when i was 22 years old, before i made any record -- before we recorded any music, and there was three of them that ended up on this record. so those things i don't necessarily influence the quality of your artistic output. but i do believe that your doubts and questions and insecurities do move your work forward, do keep you questioning, do keep you searching, and that's at the key of artistic progression. >> trevor: my final question to you is as someone who's born

to run, someone who's always been on the road, someone who's performed thousands of concerts all around the globe, what have you been doing during the pandemic? >> i'm born to sit still at the moment. so i'm doing what everybody else is doing, you know. i mean, we stay inside a lot. you know, we have a few friends that we're careful we see. we're social distancing. luckily enough, i have a studio at my home, which i'm in right now, and i've had a variety of projects to keep me busy. i had the film, i had the album which we started pre-pandemic, and i have a radio show that i do biweekly basically, which i've enjoyed doi