you got some shit on your face. captioning sponsored by comedy central >> live from their election fallout shelter in new york, "the daily show" with trevor noah presents votegasm 2020. what could go wrong -- again? >> trevor: yo! what's going on, everybody? welcome to live election night show of "the daily show." that's right, we are live. you know how we're live? i've already thrown up on myself and had time to clean it up. usually i would be coming to you from my apartment, but tonight because we're alive, we're celebrating the end of democracy and we're deciding to be here in

my special election fallout shelter which is stocked with everything i need. i've got a bottle of hand sanitizer to clean my hands and another bottle of hand sanitizer to clean the other bottle of hand sanitizer. if the power goes down, i have board games, i have a boom box over there and something close to a playstation. most importantly, i've got this place locked down tight. this election fallout shelter is grade 5 military bunker level which means it's impenetrable to nuclear weapons, chemical attacks and even the most -- roy wood, jr. >> hey, what's up? >> trevor: how did you get into my election fallout shelter. i'm doing the show live. this is top security, what are you doing? >> i got your password, wakanda 123. >> trevor: don't say it out

loud. >> you want me to leave? >> trevor: no, you're in the bubble. did you get tested? >> no, ain't got no 5g in my neighborhood. i'm good. >> trevor: you should still get tested. >> it's a joke, calm down, affect. >> trevor: i can't calm down on a night like tonight. ready for election results? >> yeah, man. i'm a little nervous. but they ain't gonna get me like they got me in 2016. i got some staff to keep me calm, the pink stuff and some liquor. i got a little tequila. i ain't getting up off the couch because this one is for my urine. you know, so i got one for -- you know. all right, this is the tequila. that's my bad. i'm going to put a "p" on this one for "please drink this one." >> trevor: i don't think your system is going to work, roy. but you might need that booze because i don't know if you have

been seeing the results from tonight but trump has started out strong because he's looking good in north carolina and he's probably going to win florida. and i don't know, roy, i was actually hoping that maybe florida would surprise us like they did with obama but i des they really like trump. >> i don't know why you're so surprised about florida. first of all, i went to college in florida. i can tell you about florida. ain't but two good things in florida, south beach and disney world. the rest is strange people in pickup trucks trying to sell you baby alligators. >> trevor: it makes sense. trump is the ultimate florida mascot -- he's got the tan, all his friends are in jail, somehow he has money, and he has a much younger wife who was dressed up really nicely to cast her vote. >> as we mentioned, we saw first lady melania trump at the polling site in west palm beach, florida. you can see her on the left side

of the screen. she just finished casting her ballot one she would assume for her husband in one to have the three usually battleground states we are watching very closely. >> i'm pretty certain melania is the only first lady who people can only assume she voted for her husband. she could have voted early but she waited for election day, like, i'm an undecided voter! ( as trump ) what about the things i did for you? >> he gave her corona. don't spread rumors. you're right. i think melania voted for trump because if he wins, melania's married to the president of the united states. if he loses, she's just married to donald trump. that sucks. >> you know what, though? i don't even think that's really about donald trump. i don't think anybody really want to vote for him.

my girl put the knives in the dishwasher blade up, i couldn't trust her with the nuclear code. >> trevor: he's win ago lot more votes from hispanic and black people than in 2016. i don't know if this has anything to do with it but he's had a lot of rappers come out to support. >> at a rally in florida president trump introduced hispanic rapper lil' pump though he incorrectly referred to him as lil' pimp. >> trevor: speaking of music, one of the big superstars of the world, little pimp. there he is. how's it going? you want to come up and say something in. >> trevor: okay, a pump and a pimp are very different things. if your basement is flooded and a pimp shows up, that's not going to end well. we need a hose. well, i brought you some hose. cinnamon, grab a bucket, bitch.

>> what's crazy is eminem came out and endorsed joe biden. that's the world we live in. who would have thought the white rappers would be with biden and the black people would have been trump. the first time black people appropriated something from white people. >> trevor: we might as well go to one of the trump campaign campaign headquarters to catch up with desi lydic. any news to report? >> thanks, trevor. i am here at the trump victory party. right now, there's no news to report. but if a winner is declared, the reporter on camera gets to announce it. so i'm just going to keep on talking -- talking, talking, talking -- any minute we could learn who the winner is and i could be the one saying who the next president is on tv making history. but you know, it's not about me. it's really about the american voters. take them away. we know what voters look like.

tonight is about democracy, trevor, democracy. let's think about that word for a minute while we wait with me on camera. webster's dictionary defines democracy as a system of government by the whole population. it's a noun of greek or origin. i believe it's based on the greek democris, a creek dragon who lived in ancient athens and would pick a president. hold on. they're making an announcement. could this be it? desi's one shining shift -- no, just a waiter announcing crab cakes. something else, something else -- oh, you know, trevor, sometimes it can be hard to put nights like these in context and as so often is the case we turn to the words of poets, and i think my feelings now can be expressed by al pacino's four

and a half minute locker room speech on any given sunday which i watched in my hotel room on tnt. on this team we fight for that inch! on this team we tear ourselves and everyone else around us to pieces for that inch. we crawl with our fingernails for that inch! hooah! hold on, trevor, they're making an announcement. could this be it? ( cheering ) yes! crab cakes are back. do not go to trevor, you stay on me. i'll be right back. you stay on me! >> trevor: no, that's enough. i'm not waiting around to see desi get crab cakes. we'll take a quick break, come back with more election results and check in with our correspondents around the country. don cheadle and dr. tressie mcmillan cottom will stop by later to give us they are perspectives on everything

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into it. in the senate, democrat john hickenlooper has beaten republican incumbents cory gardner. but in alabama republican challenger tommy tuberville has defeated democrat incumbent doug jones. and in kentucky mitch mcconnell has defeated democrat amy mcgrath. so it appears, unlike his hands, mitch mcconnell's seat will not be turning blue. if there's one thing we cannot deny about 2020 is that it has sucked balls. also coronavirus has made everything weird. you've got a face mask drawer

next to your underwear drawer. your delivery guy throws food at you like a broke ass quarterback and even your creepy aunt doesn't kiss you on the mouth anymore. >> with the coronavirus pandemic making social distancing a must sporting venues have been transformed into polling locations across the country from the k.f.c. center in louisville to philly's union stadium. arenas and stadiums uparen't the only places repurposed. you can cast ballots at the city's tar pits, this texas location allows people to vote without ever leaving their car. in san francisco the neptune society, home to 8500 cremated remains, is now a polling site. >> trevor: people are even voting in crematoriums? probably smells better than a middle school gym, but, man --

>> i think it's more strange to vote at a sports arena. a sports arena is where you go to argue with people because they don't support the same team you support. you fight with people because they're on a different team -- you're right. it's probably a good place to vote. >> trevor: you know what, dude, no matter how weird the place was, people have turned out to vote in record numbers this year, so we actually sent jordan klepper to speak with the voters in a special election day addition of finger the pulse. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> it's election day i'm here in brooklyn where the lines are around two, three people. i'm guessing it's because people already made a plan and voted early, either that or our democracy is crumbling. i prefer the first one. >> whoa, yay, voting day!

i assume you voted for hometown boy donald trump. >> hell, no, if his balls were cut off today, i would be happy. >> the reason i'm not so fond of this administration is because i believe in a true system of governance based on honest and fairness. >> then you've had a pretty shitty four years. >> yeah. why did you vote today? i hate donald trump and want him to get out of office. >> no, why tid you vote today and not six days ago when all the cool kids were voting. >> because the lines were long. you might not get paul rudd voting today, you might get spider-man. >> i like spider-man. some people waited till election day to cast their vote and some people waited until election day to think about the election. >> i'm undecided. you're an undecided voters? i didn't know they existed in the wild. why were you undecided up to this point?

>> nobody is toward my interest. have you officially made a decision in your head? >> when i get off the train in the bronx. >> trevor: what do you expect to happen on the train to help you make up your mind? because my experience on the subway, i'm not usually thinking. >> i'll flip a quarter. heads trump loses, tails biden wins. >> how do you figure that? i'm kind of smart for this. heads trump, biden tails. biden wins. >> 400 years of campaigning and it's a coin flip. were folks prepared to avoid the heart weak of 2016? >> how are you keeping expectations in check on a day like today. >> i am not. i'm fully should into hope. >> trevor: that's not 2008. did you have a voting strategy not to jinx it. >> no, to get through the night tonight which is basically to

drink. >> you're taking my strategy. it's election day, you have to take an i vote. >> one, two, three, thank you very much. >> delete that shit right away because you don't want to drink anything. >> okay. this could stretch into long days or weeks. are these people patient enough? >> of course, over lounge howevt takes, it takes and if these mother ( bleep ) do not count every absentee vote, every vote needs to be counted. >> you need to let democracy play out. >> we're satisfied to counted county them all. >> trump wants the election results to come right now and he rolls over and the rest of us are not even starred. donald trump wants to start tonight. >> i know. we're satisfied if we count all the votes. >> absolutely. explore the entire electoral map. democrats need to experience

democracy. >> that's right. and after a stressful election we all know it's important to decompress. >> i'm going to take a a mindfulness walk because this is so stressful. >> tell us about it. we do breathing techniques and walk around and think about, like, the present moment and try to stay in that present moment. >> i'm closing my eyes. i need the calm. >> breathe in. breathe in with the country is in bad shape now, breathe out that our country will be in better shape. >> i'm breathing out the last four years with the idea that people will probably start campaigning for the next presidential season in about a month and a half. >> exactly. deep breaths, america, you can do this. >> trevor: thank you so much jordan klepper. we're going to take a short break. when we come back, i'll be talking to the man

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welcome back to a live election night episode of "the daily show." i'm still here with my good friend roy wood, jr. roy, you doing good? >> this is how i'm doing. okay. it's stressful. this is how i'm doing. >> trevor: i don't understand. roy, if one of those bottles is urine and one is tequila, how come they've both gone down. >> i lost my taste since a couple of days ago so i've just been hitting both of them. i can't really smell it either? >> i'm beginning to think this is a terrible idea. here are more results coming in. here are more interesting issues on the ballot. florida passed a $15 minimum wage. congratulations on that.

new jersey has legalized marijuana, and d.c. has decriminalized mushrooms. all right, please trust me, d.c., tonight is not the night to try shrooms for the first time. if trump wins again, all drugs should be legalized. we can't go through the next four years sober. i need heroin gummies at least. let's catch up with dulce sloan who voted earlier today, to get her analysis. dulce, what's going on? >> hi, trevor, just waiting to vote. i have been standing in this line forever and that's how you know i'm voting in a black district because the state only gave us one voting booth. mm-hmm. this is worse than the time i was waiting for my trash man to pick me you have after my hair was done. how are you going to pick me up late when the only reason you're driving around town is you

borrowed my car keys? we can even turn voter suppression into a matter. >> you want to check out my c.d. player? >> i already told you no. no one has a c.d. player anymore anyway. craziest thing, i'm not voting in the 2020 election. i'm still trying to vote for hillary. ( ringing ) i've got to go. i know you didn't hit another mailbox. we really need those today. >> trevor: wow, dulce, sorry you had such a stressful day. good luck with the hilary vote. doesn't end well. my first guest is an award winning actor, activist who you know from black monday and the "avengers," joins me to talk about self-proclaimed role as a dem voter in 2020, please welcome don cheadle. >> are you finished telling about the election results? >> trevor:io

>> trevor: you don want any spoilers? >> yeah, no spoilers. it will be hell or heaven when i find out. >> trevor: okay, so what's the plan for you? are you not going to hear any results till it's all done or do you want to just wake up -- what if this goes for, like, two weeks? >> it's probably going to go for, like, two weeks. i don't want to listen tonight. it's just not worth it. ( laughter ) >> trevor: you're currently on set. you're doing a new stephen sotoburg movie. your showtime series is coming up on monday. did you vote early? what was your voting strategy? >> actually, my wife came out,

visited, brought my ballot, took it back to california, put it in a mailbox -- a real one, got the results back and yeah, i'm good. i'm in. >> trevor: i loved how you described yourself as a single issue dem voter which is an interesting one for 2020. what is that single issue for don cheadle? >> whoever can beat him. early in the primaries i didn't want to back anybody because i was trying to figure out who would boat him. because anyone on that stage tonight is better than who we have now. so i was just really hoping who would beat trump and put my energy behind them. >> trevor: you have been vocal from the beginning. i know you were a big bernie sanders supporter. when joe biden won the nomination, you helped out with

campaign events from joe biden. some people criticized you, like bernie sanders said there's a bigger issue on the ballots here and we have to come together. i know some people talk to you. do you think you manage to convince some people about the greater good? >> i hope so, right. i mean, we're going to see what the result of that is pretty soon, and i would never, you know, try to say it was a result of me personally moving someone in one direction or the other. i just want to talk about what i believe is important. i wish we could have made a big conglomerate of all the candidates. i think, clearly, the things that separated those candidates, all of those candidates, warren, bernie, joe biden, exactly exace degrees they were separated were small compared to what we were

dealing with on the other side. again, i wanted to throw my energy behind whoever was coming out on top and help them get to the finish line. >> trevor: one to have big issues you have been passionate about is voter suppression. you've teamed up with events or organizations fighting voter suppression, you have been outspoken, been moving the needle in a direction where more people get to cast the ballot where they should because it's their right. have you seen any signs of progress or is there any optimism that has come from the work you have been part of over the last few years? >> well, i think it's always a situation where it's going to be a continuing fight, right. people are always going to try to gain the system -- game the system to try to make it work out for their benefit. it's always two steps forward, one step back. if we prevail and we have a biden harris presidency, i think then another form of work will

begin, another level of work has to -- we all have to pick up that ball and continue to push for things that we want and continue to be progressive. so i think the voter turnout this year, you know, before today has been -- i don't know, tripled or unbelievable. so clearly people are inspired and they're, you know, energized, and that energy is going to have to keep going. it's not over, no matter what happens. kind of like the fight starts, another fight starts. >> trevor: it's a fight that feels like it continues from generation to generation, and i know that you've got two daughters in their 20s who seem as passionate as you are about the world that they live in whether it comes to climate change or whether it comes to who's running the world. what do you wish for them and what do you talk about to them about maybe not politics but what the politics of the world should be? like, what do do you hope that y will do that maybe your generation hasn't? >> well, i think, unfortunately, it becomes incumbent upon them to take on a lot of

responsibility and what our generation has ended, unfortunately, you know, they have to deal with the fallout from climate change in a way they haven't and how that exacerbated and how snangsly we've had to deal with the haves and the have nots getting larger and larger. we speak about policy issues, and it's a continuing conversation, you know, it's not like we come to a solution. it's like they understand that they are committed, like you said, for a long-term commitment into a long-term fight and my god daughter, all of us, you know, you're always talking about these issue, and this year was obviously a huge issue. it's not a huge issue but a huge event that happened one after another, a dom no effect.

you were always checking in. i'm glad they understand some of them are willing to throw in. >> trevor: well, hopefully, there will be no spoilers, only pleasant surprises when the results come in. good luck. >> never compliment a black man's hair. >> trevor: that's a great hat you have on there, roy. that's a dope hat. >> maybe we'll continue that offline. >> trevor: congratulations on mack blon day, don cheadle. i appreciate you. >> thank you, man. >> trevor: when we come back, more election results and we check in on elections that are not in america. yeah, they have those. we'll be right back.

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>> trevor: welcome back to a special live election edition of "the daily show." we've got a few more results coming in and here they are. in the presidential race, joe biden has won the state of vermont. the safety state of of georgia l too close to call but trump has nabbed alabama. you have to see that coming. alabama loves football which is trump's exact body shape. that isn't really a surprise. don't you think, roy? all right, anyway -- now despite this being one of the highest turnouts in american history, voting has gone surprisingly smoothly. but a few voting places had a few hiccups. >> the risk of getting your vote ruined from too much hand sanitizer is rule. in california, new hampshire and

virginia, the hand sanitizer has been smearing the, inc., making the ballots unreadable and causing soggy ballots to shred and clog electronic machines. >> from georgia apparently at the state farm arena they were delayed four hours because of a water pipe burst. >> one location at an elementary school was to stay open till 7:30 p.m. after a poll manager overslept this morning. >> trevor: really? how is the poll manager going to oversleep? you had one job! that's like bumping into the easter bunny at a bar on easter sunday and he said, oar, shit, is that today? all they have to do is cook poll workers a rack of ribs on election eve. overslept? >> every election they pull a new rabbitt out of their head! a pipe burst -- i'm sick of this

voter suppression. >> trevor: it's just a burst water pipe. >> and who doesn't like to get their hair wet? black women! >> trevor: i need to have whatever you're drinking. let's catch up with jaboukie young-white reporting live from trump tower in man manhattan. what's going on, jaboukie? >> i was going to report from trump headquarters and i thought what if i put myself into a coma until this is all over? i decided to do that because there's no good option here, trevor. either trump wins or it's too close to be decided or biden wins and trump refuses to leave the white house and is the first whiteout squatter and boards up the windows of the white house. i think he's going to get bill bart ton do it. i don't think he'll do it himself. i'm just going to sleep through this shit. i don't have enough money for a private island, so i'll get a private island in my mind. i was going to go the traditional way and get edibles

all social distancing and being responsible. i'm just going to say it, drug dealers, you guys are cowards. i say that with no fear of repercussions. i was going to go to my pediatrician. i go to dr. garcia. he tells me he doesn't induce elective comas. can you believe that? i'm literally his oldest patient. i said forget dr. garcia. i'm just going to the hospital. i go to the hospital. trevor, did you know our insurance policy does not cover elective comas? sick. that's why he need medicare for all because just because you get cancer or you want an elective coma or you get a little lip filler while you're there, you don't need it but just a little something, doesn't mean you should go bankrupt. it's ridiculous. anyway, i'm fine. don't worry about me, trevor.

i locked the door, made sure no one was around. i'm going to induce this bad boy myself. coma button has got to be on here somewhere. oh, there it is. and lift off. ( laughter ) all right, trevor, i'll see you in february. mmm! ( snoringbrook >> trevor: i should probably tell jaboukie i couldn't afford to get him real medicine and that's just saline. i don't know -- >> let the boy sleep. >> trevor: i guess let the boy sleep. be careful jaboukie. you will be really hydrated in the morning. hopefully michael kosta hasn't checked out of the election on election night because he's supposed to be at biden campaign headquarters right now. kosta, what's the mood over there now? >> it's hard to say, trevor. everyone's in waiting mode.

a few minutes ago biden came out to address the crowd. he seemed positive, confident, firm. his eyes scanned the crowd till they rested on his wife jill, her trim body glistening with the sweat of anticipation. he true her close, probing her mouth with his tongue. he didn't care how many people were watching, he needed her right then and there -- >> trevor: whoa, whoa, whoa, kosta, dude, what are you talking about? there's no way that actually happened. >> of course it didn't happen, trevor. nothing's happening! we're signature here waiting for the votes to be counted. i have nothing to report so i thought i would write erotic election fan fiction. >> trevor: no one wants to hear erotic fan fiction on election night. if no news out of biden headquarters find other news to report like, i don't know, what's the news at trump's headquarters without fan -- >> same, trump is waiting for

results like the rest of us. he's tense, nervous, pent up. all he can think about are those swollen ballot boxes aching to be emptied and then his eyes rested upon ivanka. he didn't care how many people were watching, he needed her right then -- >> trevor: whoa, whoa, whoa, kosta, this is gross. it's bad writing. the met forest are so obvious. you could work on being a little bit more original, you know. >> wow, you -- you really let me have it, didn't you, trevor? now i'm embarrassed and humiliated. like i have been a real bad boy, huh, trevor? a bad boy who needs to be punished, and michael knew that trevor noah was just the man punish him and -- >> trevor: all right, you know, that's enough. just leave. >> i'll email you the rest. >> trevor: i don't want it, send it to my gmail. when we come back, i'll talk to dr. tressie mcmillan cottom about how the results are

shaking out so far. we're the croods. -we are the bettermans. welcome to a better way to live. ♪ welcome to my house dun, dun ,dun. this place is changing everyone. give this place a chance. go i have to like him? grug. gruggers. grug. [ screaming ] grug. you have to be nice. i don't know if cave people belong in a modern world. we're evolved people. [ grunting ] maybe we should take it down a notch. bah, bah, bah. -bah, bah, bah. wow.

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♪ i love bedtime. the thin, sweet bite to end the night. oreo thins. >> trevor: welcome back to a special live election night edition of "the daily show." i'm still trevor noah. he's still roy wood, jr. >> no, you're roy wood, jr.

>> trevor: anyway, the votes are still being counted and here are some of the latest results that have just come in. trump has officially won the state of kansas. meanwhile, joe biden has won the state of new hampshire. and in south carolina, republican lindsey graham has defeated democratic challenger jamie harrison. not really a big surprise. the south has continued to keep a confederate monument. makes sense. before we wait for more numbers to come in, let's go to awe word winning author, professor, sociologist and 2020 recipient of the mcarthur genius grant, dr. tressie mcmillan cottom. >> hi, trevor, how are you this evening? >> trevor: how are you? i feel that should be title from now on, dr. genius. forget my name, i'm interest genius and that's all you shall refer to me as. congratulations. >> thank you so much. it's been a wild ride, hasn't it. >> trevor: it has been a

crazy, crazy, crazy ride. what do you make of everything we've seen so far? obviously results are still coming in buttist been an interesting year where trump is winning more black men than republicans before him and the vote seems to be swinging in a strange direction, hispanic voters going for trump. what do you make of everything we're seeing? >> well, you know, so far don't it's going mighty whitely and i think that's how many of us expected its it to go. for all of the impressive get out and vote that happened on the democratic side, which i do think we will continue to see the fruits of over the next couple of days, the fact remains we are not going to see a clear repudiation of donald trump by the republican party and that means something. that means that no matter who wins, today, tomorrow, next week, whenever this thing finally ends, we are still living in the united states of america where 40 to 45% of the

population thinks donald trump has been doing a reel good job. and that's going to be really difficult to govern no matter who is elected. in many ways, donald trump has made a mess that only donald trump can clean up and that's kind of eterrifying. >> trevor: it really is change because on my side i sometimes believe that i think america is like all hope is lost for america. but then there are times when i think if you only have a two-party system doesn't it mean inevitably you're going to have people voting for one of two parties because some of their issues will be on one side and some on the other. do you think there ever will be a time when america isn't split down the middle? >> no, the only thing -- we're not actually split down the middle when you look at the popular vote. actually people in this country despite what shows up in the polls agree more on some to have the big things than they disagree. what happens is the way the electoral college appropriates

votes makes it look like we're split half and half. it's really just a very vocal not quite small minority. it's a sizable minority, but there is a significant part of the population that just has an outside influence on who is elected relative to the actual size. and then there's this really complicit sort of mushy middle that just country see a significant difference between either party or either candidate and because they don't see a significant difference, they tend to go along with the flow. right now that's the most vocal, virulent part of the voting population, and that's the republicans for whom being a republican has become their identity. so what the electoral college allows to happen is that there are voters who vote democratic or republican, you know, they become a democrat or republican for six months every couple of years, but then there are people who similarly identify with their party and, on the right, that is a much stronger impulse

than it is on the left, and those are the people who end up driving this and make this seem it's inevitable that there will always be this sort of evenly divided conflict about all the things that matter and it's not exactly true. it's allowed to be true because of how we elect people in the country. >> trevor: right. it feels like a lot of the information is skewed but sometimes it feels like that has a self-fulfilling prophecy effect to it, you know. >> yep. >> trevor: one of those things has been black men voting in larger numbers for donald trump. black women staying consistent. as a sociologist, do you have any idea of why this is? like, what could it possibly be about donald trumpt that more black men than usual goics yeah, i'm going with him. >> man, cocaine is a hell of a drug. ( laughter ) i think there is -- for all that we talk about race in this country, and it is significant and it matters, and for all that

we talk about class, it is significant and it matters, what we have learned is that gender also matters, and there has always been a conservative streak or impulse in african-american communities. it gets drowned out by our oppression compierd to white people. but it's frankly patriarchal impulses. there has been enough time that's passed between the civil rights movement and today's young or young middle aged african-american male voters that they think they can actually vote their class interests separate from their race interests, when really what they're doing is voting their gender interests. they are attracted to the same thing that a lot of cuban-american voters are in florida, that white rule voters

are attracted to in idaho, they are attracted to the presentation of masculine strength in donald trump, despite what the rest of us may think donald trump looks like, his bluster looks like strength and masculine at this to a lot of people, and i think there are a significant number of black male voters right now who feel like that strength is an indicator of what might be possible for them under president trump and our historical memory is so short they don't realize that's not right. >> trevor: i will talk to you again after this election is fully done. i hope we get to sit together in person when the pandemic is over and you can help me make sense of the craziness happening in the united states. thanks for joining us. >> always a pleasure, trevor, thank you. >> trevor: thank you so much, tressie. when we come back more election results on live election night. ♪

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last night i switched bodies withfreaky, right?er. [ screaming ] ♪ i'm just a girl it's me, it's millie. yeah. yeah. blissfield high. feel our glory and our might. [ screaming ] ♪ i'm just a girl everybody is freaking out. ♪ i'm just a girl ♪ guess i'm some kinda freak ♪ are you serious? oh my god it's a slaughterhouse. freaky, right? >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"'s live election night coverage. we've got a few more results that are rolling in right now and here they are. donald trump has won the state of north dakota. joe biden has won the state of oregon. and biden has also won california! wow! despite donald trump picking up that last-been endorsement from the wildfires. unbelievable. but let's move on, we have been hearing all year now about how

difficult it is for many americans to vote so it's not surprising that the united states has one of the lowest voter turnout rates among democracies in the world. but ronny chieng has a report on one drastic solution that could fix this problem, if americans would ever accept it. >> in the last presidential election 44% of americans did not vote. that put you in 26th position among developed countries. that's pa they can. you should be ashamed of yourself. that's garbage. it's go garbage that in 2016 trump got elected with only a quarter of eligible voters supporting him. that's a broken system. taxes are mandatory so why not voting? but america is the land of the free where the whole point is to do anything you want, even dress up as fat iron man in times square on a tuesday afternoon. so can you really force americans to vote. do you think in america voting should be compulsive. >> i think it should but it's

not going to happen because people won't even wear masks. >> we were told to do something, exactly, ( bleep ), we won't o it. >> would america accept mandatory voting. >> definitely not. why not? americans are lazy in general. >> america is the land of the free. >> people come here because it's a free place. >> that includes the freedom to not -- >> yeah, pretty much. do you think mandatory voting could happen in america? >> no, i do not. i think that american values are like a toxic version of what freedom is. >> isn't that what makes america great? >> it's not so great at the moment. >> maybe americans think it's impossible but mandatory voting does exist in 22 countries including one that's drunker, crazier and whiter than the u.s. i'm talking about australia where they've had it since 1922. >> it was quite a small fit for australians to think, well, we want the majority of people to

be selecting our government, and that is legitimacy. >> basically in vailia you force people to exercise their democratic rights? >> that's right. in australia, people think it's not such a big deal to show up. it might take you ten, 15 minutes. teachers and parents associations are there selling sausages. that's where we get the term democracy. >> democracy has had a bad taste since the clint clinton administration. australians have had a voting since the 40s. what kind of punishment do you have mike it so over 90% of the people vote. jail time? public spanking, wear a i didn't vote sticker. >> it's a $20 fine. that's it? that's a bargain.

i think. >> there are big advantages. the vote has to get the vote out by the political party. so they don't have to appeal to the base. you don't get the extreme ideological appeal and so it makes our democracy i think more moderate. >> doesn't that make your election process very boring. >> it doesn't make it boring. what democracy means to me is the majority of people participate. i find voter suppression in the united states shocking. i don't know how americans can call themselves a democracy at all. >> damn! political science will love this. how do everyday australians see this? i took a 25 hour flight and spent two weeks in quarantine so i could talk to them myself in sunny brisbane, australia. what do you feel about the fact

voting is compulsory in australia? >> i feel very proud it is. for people who don't want to vote they should go somewhere else. >> everybody has to decide. it's mandatory result. if the result doesn't go your way, you can't complain. if we lose, at least we say we had a chance to vote. >> it takes five minutes. you go in there and vote and get out. no time, no worry, just shut the ( bleep ) up and vote. >> what do you think about mandatory voting in australia. >> it sucks. we just go in and hit a few boxes. >> are you drunk now? yeah, had a few shots. what do you think voting isn't mandatory in america. >> it has a purpose for it. feel like i'm a witness to cave men discovering fire right

now. >> yeah. even drunk australian bros can see the benefits of mandatory voting. for america, the good news is voter turnout in 2020 is on track to hit record levels. all we needed to get people to vote was to lect donald trump, and then guess what? people turn up. we don't need to force people to vote. >> that's a big price to pay. i would rather have to pay $20 fine than have to put up with president trump for four years. >> toto. ucheé. >> trevor: we have to take a short break. short break. but final thoughts when we co

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>> trevor: welcome back to a live election night edition of "the daily show." roy, you want to hear more results? >> no. >> trevor: all right, well i'm going to give you some more results. joe biden has won the state of illinois. donald trump has won the state of utah. and this is big news -- fox news has called arizona for joe

biden! >> oh! >> trevor: for joe biden! you're crazy! >> trevor: for joe biden. oh, baby! we stole one from 'em! it don't matter, man. >> trevor: this is crazy! oh, man, all right, before we go, let's check in one last time with ronny chieng at a live polling location in brooklyn. what's the latest, my dude? >> actually, trevor, i'm here at kings county jail. did you know you have to be an american citizen to vote in america? because no one told me that. all i have been hearing is celebrities telling me i have to vote. jennifer aniston yelled at me. chris rock sexted eme and they all said vote. an officer said you don't live in this precinct. i said the hulk told me to be

here. take it up with him. next thing i know, i'm in jail. maybe recycling is bad, maybe bullying is good. should i actually be doing drugs more than i already do? i don't know anymore. anyway, lesson learned, don't show up on election day if you're not a citizen. hopefully all the absentee ballots mailed in still count. back to you, trevor. >> trevor: thank you so much, ronny. so sorry about that. we'll be sending someone to bail you out in a few days. that's our show for tonight. thank you so much for tuning in on night one of our seven-week election day coverage because this shit is going to go for a while, people. brace yourselves. a bunch of states haven't come in. every day we'll count the votes, then follow the lawsuits. get rest, sober up and catch you again tomorrow. now, here it is... your moment of zen. ♪ ♪

>> what( talking at the same ti) does anyone know how the electoral college even works? what the ( bleep ) with the electoral college. >> won't look at me. i was against that ( bleep ). that's a james madison thing. that's a james madison thing. >> also, you can't look at [opera music] ♪ - okay, that was a tough question. so raise your hand if you know the answer. - photosynthesis. [whispering] photosynthesis. - photosynthesis. - yes, annabelle? - antarctica! - that's right, annabelle! the answer is antarctica. - well, when i was in school, it was photosynthesis. - now, what is the pythagorean theorem? can anyone else answer besides annabelle? [phone blips]

are any of you even doing the assignments i'm giving? [suspenseful music] ♪ - no! no! wait. [dramatic music] maybe it was a mistake. cnn just posted it by accident. everything's fine, it was chris cuomo and his fat fingers, that's all. everything's good. everything's fine. we're good! everything's good! [breathing loudly] wait. maybe this is a dream and i'm still naked. oh, god! "roe v. wade!" ugh. everything's fine, everything's good. gotta stay hydrated when everything's normal. [phone notifications dinging] [whimpers] [breathing loudly] [bleep]! [bleep]!

[rock music] sorry, miss brittany. rbg. [phone notification dings] - [bleep]! ♪ [applause] - have you thought, "how many women is enough?" - nine. - oh. [laughter and applause] oh. [cheers and applause] - we're not there yet. - [laughs] - well, there have been nine men there for a long, long time, right? so why not nine women? - woo! - yeah. - [sighs] it's been 41 days since justice ginsburg died. and in that time, amy coney barrett