tv The Daily Show With Trevor Noah Comedy Central January 26, 2021 1:16am-2:00am PST
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mahomes was just six years old. >> tom brady has obviously smashed all kinds of records. he becomes the oldest super bowl quarterback in history at 4 approximate surpassing tom brady two years ago at 41. >> okay, no, hell no. tom brady is immune from aging. how is he still winning at 43? what is his secret? i'm only 36, and all pie google searches are like hips make clicking sound when i walk, am i dying. but it kind of makes sense. i mean every sport has to have the one old guy. all of them. even when you play pickup basketball, there is always that one guy with the gray hair and the hard rock cafe t-shirt who you spend the rest of the game debating if he is actually john stockton or not, that guy is at every court. but still it is not fair that tom brady is this good and this handsome. he's going to be in his 10th super bowl and he looks like this? no! that's why i am starting a kick starter today to pay for him to get plastic surgery to look like
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this. it is only fair, people. >> i mean think about it, the opposing quarterback in the super bowl patrick mahomes was six years old when tom brady won his first super bowl. being good nor that long must change how you interact with kids. tom brady will see his friend's baby and start trash talking it. oh, if you think you are crying now, just wait until i whoop your as ass in 20er woulds but let's move on to the big news out of russia. you know, the country that is currently watching you through your computer camera. last week opposition leader alexei navalny returned to the country where he was immediately thrown in jail but vladimir putin's police. but what putin might not have expected is this response. >> massive crowds gathered in city's across russia on saturday demanding opposition leader alexei navalny be released from jail. >> these were some of the biggest demonstrations in russia in years. >> protests swept across russia's 11 time zones taking place in 90 cities, in the
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capitol moscow an estimated 15,000 demonstrators gathered in the city center, clashing with police. >> police in moscow started making arrests even before the demonstration straighters started protesting. >> more than a thousand people were detained in the russian capitol alone, organizers say. >> 3,000 they claim nationwide. >> police with batons rushed through crowds of navally supporters who braved temperatures as low as mine us 58 degrees. >> some of the officers were seen beating prot testersk some demonstrators fought back including these people who bombarded a group of riot police with snowballs in moscow. >> wow. nationwide protests across 11 time zones against putin. that's inspiring. >> guys, can we agree on something? anybody who protests in negative 68 de-- 58 degree weather, should have their demands heard. the problem is that protests can get out of hand quickly when it's that cold. because people will be like
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let's burn down that store. >> why, comrad, to protest putin. >> no bitch for heat. >> but seriously though, props to all of those protestors. because they're putting a lot of pressure on vladimir putin and i mean real pressure, not kylie jenner shower pressure. these protesters are widespread enough that putin can't just lock them up and yet that is partly because putin isn't sure of how to laugh. ha, ha, ha, okay, start with smile and see how i go. and in many ways russia is just catching up with the mood of the moment. i mean this has been a huge year for protests around the world. america saw the largest protests in its history against police brutality. we saw sars protests in nigeria, iraqi in the streets of corruption, now the russian people, if you have a cause that you want to fight for, this is the year to do it. people are amped up, baby. a lot of movement.
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yo, [bleep] single ply toilet paper. yeah, see, that people are ready to go. we're using our hands. no? oh, you thought i meant-- no, moving on, the epic battle dominating the news. king kong versus godzilla. why do you guys have to fight? haven't you heard this is a time for unity. but also the epic battle against the coronavirus. right now things are not going great. the u.s. has really been struggling to distribute enough vaccine, hospitals are running short, appointments are getting cancelled. i mean it's not as serious as the shortage of play station fives but it's still pretty bad. and until people can get vaccinated, america is going to have to take even more serious steps to stop the spread of this virus. >> this morning the u.s. will begin restricting travel from south africa banning most nonu.s. citizens who have recently traveled to the country from entering the state, as well as reimposing the travel ban for brazil, the u.k., ireland and 26 countries across europe.
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in an effort to mitigate the spread of the virus. >> the biggest change is putting new travel ban in place for people coming from south africa. where a new virus strain has been identified. >> researchers are worried that the new variant might be better at evading antibodies and have greater resistance to vaccines. >> trevor: okay. i know this is a terrible story. but i can't lie, there is something in me that always gets excited whenever south africa gets mentioned on international tv even when it is about travel restrictions because of a highly contagious plague various, it's like hey, that's where i am from. cool, i'm from there. but that's right, this new variant of coronavirus is the fastest most deadly thing out of south africa since oscar pistorius. so now america is closing down travel from south africa. honestly, i don't even know why anybody would want to come to america right now. i mean everything is closed. what are you going to do when you get here. >> oh, i can't wait to watch
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netflix in a hotel room, just like i do at-home, but this time with a view of denies but let's move on to our main story. and guys, it is so exciting that we can finally stop spending all our time tawg being donald trump's presidency. yes, instead we get to talk about cleaning up the mess from donald trump's presidency. >> it's history in the making once again as capitol hill prepares for the second donald trump impeachment trial. once again, the house impeachment managers will take the long walk across the united states capitol to differ the one article of impeachment to the united states senate. >> the senate will conduct a trial of the impeachment of donald trump, it will be a full trial it will be a fair trial. but make no mistake, there will be a trial and when that trial ends, senators will have to decide if they believe donald
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john trump incited the erection-- insurrection, against the united states. >> trevor: goddam, i knew the democrats were horny for trump's impeachment but that was ridiculous. could you tell by the look on his face, that schumer knew that he had blown the entire case. he incited this erection-- oh dammit, i guess he gets to be president again, i'm sorry, everybody. now trump's team doesn't even have to present a defense, they will just be like yo, you guys remember when schumer said erection? ha ha ha, all right guys, let's get out of here. and honestly, i can't blame them. i mean come on, schumer. how hard is to not say the word erection. you are making these rookie mistakes. you just defeated donald trump in a national erection and you ask-- daiment, the last time donald trump got impeached most pep republican senators said they wouldn't convict him because he hadn't done anything wrong. but after the capitol attacking
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think had to admit that yes, maybe trump actually did incite an insurrection bns you this they want to impeach him because that is what makes his followers angry. and have you seen his followers? i mean they staged an insurrection. which is why for this impeachment trial, republican senators have found a loophole to let them dodge the issue entirely. >> a chorus of criticism this morning from republican senators ahead of former president trump's impeachment trial, some arguing that since donald trump is out of office, it's out of their hands. >> i think the trial is stupid. i think it's quownt productive-- counterproductive. we already have a flaming fire in the country and st like taking gasoline and pouring on top of the fire. >> a striel after-- trial after the president left office is beyond the senate's constitutional authority, i think americans will think it strange that the senate is spending its time trying to convict and remove from office a man who left office a week ago. >> if you can impeach a president after they're out of office, why don't we impeach
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george washington. he owned slaves. where does this stop. >> trevor: okay, first of all, i sport impeaching george washington cuz i don't want that guy holding office again. a slave owning zombie as president. that's terrifying. but let's be real, man, this is one of the most ridiculous arguments ever. trump committed crimes on his way out of the door. so what, the people just have to let it go? that policy doesn't exist anywhere else. if you get fired at best buy, they don't just let you steal a tv on the way out. they don't he even let you take that blue shirt with you, you walk out of there naked. in fact, you can argue that you have to convict trump because if there is no consequence for trying to overthrow the government, then every president will just try it on their way out of office. i mean what is the worst that can happen. sack the capitol, boys. oh t didn't work. well, i shot my shot. see you guys in four years, everybody. now saying you can't impeach trump because then you would have to impeach gorge washington is one thing. but one of trump's top
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supporters hadn't had an even wilder argument. you can't impeach trump because then you would have to impeach everybody. >> house minority leader kevin mccarthy is facing backlash for a new comments that he made in the wake of the deadly capitol riots. >> i thought the president had some responsibility when it cames to the response. if you listen to what the president said at the rally, he said dem straight peacefully. i also think everybody across this country has some responsibility. think about four years ago after the president trump was sworn in. what happened the very next day. the tidal was resist, to people walking in the street. >> trevor: everyone across the country is responsible? everyone-- whoa, whoa, whoa, my man, my man, don't bring me into this. i wasn't even near washington. i was busy at-home seeing if you could make waffles out of chocolate bars. and then i was busy calling the fire department because the answer is no. but this is unbelievable. the gop is supposed to be the
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party of personal responsibility. isn't that their thing but as soon as their members do something wrong they start talk like buddhists. >> when you think of the oneness of all things, then donald trump is as guilty as a blooming flower or the flowing river, if we convict trump, we must convict nature. herself. ooohhhmmm. >> trevor: now you might be asking, why is it so hard to find republicans willing to hold donald trump responsible for his actions? well, because it turns out that even out of office, trump still has an incredible amount of power with republican voters. and he is petty enough to use it against anybody who dares cross him. >> "washington post" reports trump has enter tained the idea of creating a third party called the patriot party and instructed his aides to prepare election challenges to lawmakers who crossed him in the final weeks including wyoming republican representative liz cheney, brian kemp, alaska republican senator
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lisa murkowski and south carolina republican representative tom rice, according to people familiar with the plan. >> he is still wanting to secure whatever prshure he can over the republican senators who still, they don't control the state of his presidency, that is now over but they do control whether donald trump goes down in history as the first prt or former president ever to be convicted and in an impeachment trial so i think trump is looking for any kind of power that he can still exert over republicans. >> that's right, people. trump is threatening to form a new political party as a way to punish republicans without betray him. and you know he's serious because he made jared kushner google how to start political parties, this shit is on. and by the way, it seems unfair to get to pick a name for your party like patriot party, because you got to wait until everyone else picked boring words and then you just jump in, okay, are you democrats and republicans, coolk we'll be the explosive orgasm party. and i will be honest, i don't actually get donald trump.
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he just left his job. and he's already out here trying to form new parties and threaten senators? i thought if there was anyone who would enjoy retirement it is done all trump, is he basically already been retured for the last four years, my man, take some time off. enjoy florida, play some golf. spend some time with your-- you know what, actually, i get it now. you probably want to run again. the truth is, trump doesn't even need to start a third party. because he is already made the gop the trump party. he is basically an erection-- i mean infection, damnity, man. trump is an infection be-- infection that took over the republican party, and it turns out there are already new mutant strains that took over trump virus crossing -- cropping you all over. >> sara hucka bee sanders is trying to get back in the polit all frey announcing in a video this morning she is running for the governor of arcing a arkansas something president trump suggested she do when she retired in 2019 and sandersers s
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emphasizing her experience working with donald trump. >> trevor: wow. what a big day, for former trump staffers. sarah huckabee sanders is running for governor. >> even steven miller found a half eaten mouse, the future is looking bright. but yeses sarah huckabee sanders says she is going to be running for governor of arkansas which based on her track record means she's not going to be running for governor and there is no state called arkansas. and this, is exactly why the senate needs to convict donald trump. because i know people hope that trump will just go away on his own but that's not going to happen. and if republicans want to break their party from his grasp, well then they need to hand him a big firm rejection. whooo. all right, we'll be right back after these erections, i mean commercials, dam it damn it, why am i
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the black lives matter movement has been defund the police. but what does that mean? well, a city in oregon has offered one vision for what it might look like. roy wood, jr. has more. >> in 2020 thousands of people marched in the streets trying to de fund the police which sounds scary, but what does it actually mean? >> this really is an idea to entirely reimagine public safety and rethink how we do it. >> it means taking money out of police budgetsk and using it to fund different types of workers who handle some 911 calls. kind of like how batman had to take a pay cut to fund the justice league. and in eugene, oregon, they're giving it a trial run with a program called cahoots, cahoots what is that like a crime solving oil. >> st an am cron imcalled crisis assistant helping out on the streets. >> okay so no owl. i sat down with cahoots organizer to find out how their little test project is going. i'm guessing you started cahoots a few months ago when everybody
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was marching in the streets. >> no, we have been around for more than 30 years. >> wait, 30 years? when your organization was created the fresh prince hadn't even left for bel-air yet. okay, they have been doing this for awhile but what exactly are they doing. what type of 911 calls do you all typically respond to, as a cahoots agent. is it agent or cahooter? a cahootee. >> we respond to noncriminal and nonviolent calls for service that come to the 911 line in our area. and we respond with a crisis worker and an emt, instead of law enforcement. >> you still got guns though, right? >> no guns, no tasters, no pepper spray. >> numb chuck, ninja saw, sword, baseball bat. >> why is it we assume it will take a weapon to get somebody up. >> i feel what you are saying, but even mall cops got mace and they protecting build a bear
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workshops. but wherever law enforcement officers are utilizing-- utilizing more and more expensive military gather, cahoots save a tun ton of money. compared to the local police's annual budget of 90 million, cahoots costs about $2 million, around 2 percent of the police budget but cahoots responds to almost 20% of the emergency calls. what is a typical cahoots call look like? >> it is really about need meeting people where they are and helping them get to a space that is maybe safer, we started talk on the side of the road, its annoysy and are you overwhelm. let's have a seat in the back of van. >> fla is kidnapping, that is kidnapping. >> not if they choose to. >> respect nee, that is kidnapping. >> i do promise people snacks if they get in. >> what kind of. >> granola bar, some water. we will have clothe, tents, sleeping bags. >> you had me at snacks am i'm a 40 year old man, i will get in the van, for some snacks. but besides granola bars they have one big secret weapon, just being chill. using a technique they call
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deescalation. >> deescalation is a practice where you are encountering somebody who is escalateed and you help them get to a deescalated space or a little more calm. >> what is the deescalator version of pepper spray, like tabasco sauce, flick that in somebody's eye? >> no, i need to be engaged. i need to show you that i care about the things you are saying and finding that way that we can work through this crisis together. >> but late leer they have been putting their lives on the line responding to terror. >> america's rang reest and most dangerous demographic. >> we get a lot of calls that are placed to public safety with a certain outcome in mind. >> did you say-- it is a safe place. >> we have a lot of people that we do encounter situations where folks are going in, you know, because of racist motivations or because they have a bias against
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different socio economic circumstances and in those situations i think there are two things to do. one is recognize what it was that triggered that person to make that call and that if there. >> and two, slap the shit out of them. >> or you know, maybe try and present and opportunity for them to confront some of their white fragility. >> i was going to say that next. >> but also at the other end with the individual we are called out to respond to, we have an obligation to say hey, this was unfair. we know that you didn't have access to be here, we are here now, is there anything we can do for you. >> so essentially, karen calls 911 for protection from the homeless person, and then y'all pull up, and protect the homeless person from karen. >> basically. >> and then offer them snacks. >> exactly. >> cahoots is out there helping the homeless and trolling karens but i had to see it in action. in a covid safe way, of course. >> you aren't the cops. >> technically can i get ahold of the police but i would only
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do so if somebody was unsafe, and i'm in the necessarily seeing-- someone as unsafe right now. >> i was so scared that martin luther king, jr. statue across the street has been staring at me, can you say something to it please. >> well, maybe, i'm here to talk with you right now though. how long has this been going on for you. >> every day i come down the street and it is just a black guy, and he's just staring at me. where are the cops, where is your gun? where is all the good stuff. >> i don't see a threat in this immediate situation, do you feel like. >> i bet you don't, i bet you don't. you people. >> what if you walk down a different block. >> what if you put the stat aw in a different place, okay. >> i'm not in charge of statue placement but i am here to help you have a better day and if this is going to ruin your day, you don't have to look at it. >> wow. these guys are good. and if cahoots can do all of this for $2 million, imagine what they could do with 90.
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yeah, i mean the thing is, people like geico because it's just easy. bundling for example. you've got car insurance here. and home insurance here. why not... schuuuuzp.. put them together. save even more. some things are just better together, aren't they? like tea and crumpets. but you wouldn't bundle just anything. like, say... a porcupine in a balloon factory. no. that'd be a mess. i mean for starters, porcupines are famously no good in a team setting. geico. save even more when bundle home and car insurance. >> trevor: welcome back it the daily social distancing show. earlier today i smoke with nnamdi asomugha, one of the best defensive players ever to play in the nfl and now is he crushing it in a new career as an actor and producer. we talked about his new film and
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so much more. ♪ ♪ >> trevor: welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: the last timing i saw you was in person in the studio. i have not seen you since. i would see you sometimes at events. you would be the arm candy on your wife kerry washington's arm. how are you coping with this pandemic? >> yeah, these events that i would see you at, i was always the support more than eye candy, so i am always her support at
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those events. but we are-- you know, we're doing fine, it is a year into it now, almost. so the new normal is in, i think we're sort of going with the punches at this point. >> trevor: right, i feel like everyone is finding their few, you know, just moments of joy. like i know i do that. i wait for sporting events. i wait for special events. i wait for a movie to be released that is why i get excited when a new movie comes out because we don't get to watch them, we don't get to have dinner. we don't get to live as much life so before we get to your movie on amazon prime which is getting raifer reviews, i wanted to talk to you about the super bowl. >> yeah. >> trevor: tom brady against patrick mahomes like the young ver us-- versus the old, the greates of all time, against the futurer greatest, where is your money. >> that is the question that you got? >> trevor: i want to make it interesting. >> i thought we were going into the strategy. >> trevor: i just want to know, where is your money first, where is your money. >> i mean i don't know how at
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age 43 you so ever bet against tom, at this point. it's like, every time, i mean there is always a point midway through the season where every single person that is talking about tom brady says he's done. i mean i think for the last ten years that's always happened. and then he ends up in the super bowl at the end. so i don't know how you bet against him. >> trevor: let's talk about your secretary career though. you know, not many people can i think move as effortlessly as you have from the world of spotters at the highest level to the world of acting at the highest level. on broadway, people were blown away by your performance. you know, and then when you moved in front of the camera people were amazed at how you just seemed to effortlessly move from one script to the next, from one role to the next, you star osms tesa thompson in a love story for the ages in a time where we are not used to seeing black leads together, you know, not a story about oppression or slavery or civil
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rights t is a story about love. >> yeah. >> trevor: what do you think has been the biggest reason for your success in this world? how have you managed to be that vulnerable coming from the nfl? >> thank you for all of that. and thank you for calling it success because in my head it is just always work. so you never really know where you are. you just know that you have to keep going. but i don't know, i think i have realized that i am a risk-taker. and i say realize because i just happen to love seeing that-- i'm not going into it saying i can't wait to take this risk. i just happen to love things that require me to take a risk in order to achieve them but i don't know, i think it's important to have no idea what you are doing and just go for it anyway. a lot of times in life, you know, i think there say beauty in that level of risk. i think at the end of the day you are either going to succeed or are you going to grow and i think both of those are win.
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so why not go after it. and so that is what i have done. and luckily it has been working out, you know, and i have been able to sort of build from that. >> trevor: it seems in some ways your characters have some of those traits because you play a character who is a jazz saxophonist coming up, trying to get his career off the ground. you have got this woman who a adores you and loves you and encourages you to be more but she is doing her thing as well. it feels in many ways like the slivers of your life in this and at the same time you are playing a completely foreign different character. first of all, is it true that you spent a year learning how to play the saxophone before this role? >> i did, yeah, yeah, yeah. i did. i mean, we had time. we took this script around town and we got passed on so often. but in the time we took it around was about a year and a half or so before we actually
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shot. i didn't know if that first group was going to say yes so i needed to start playing the saxophone so i could learn. they said no and it took a year and a half or so but i just continued playing because you never really know what that moment is going to be when someone is going to say yes. we'll make your movie so i just kept playing and playing. i fell in love with it. fell in love with it and i was able to then step on set and really, you know, not only play but have fingering and everything down just so that it could be real. >> trevor: was there a point when you wondered if you are just playing the saxophone for no reason. because there is no guarantee a scripts will get picked up or a movie made. now there are you in the house and at some point people are lake oh, you play the saxophone, in the beginning are you like yes, for my movie an a few months later it is for my movie, at some point, yeah, i just play the saxophone. was there a point when you thought this is just me now? >> yeah, absolutely. i mean we went through that, i mean in my house too, because the first week like wow, the
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saxophone, you know, everyone was sort of-- and thoan i mean after like three weeks of playing it, just like this annoying thing that is in the house and like when is this going to happen. and then a year later it still hasn't happened. so yeah, there was a little bit of that, and i also would travel with the saxophone wherever he went. >> trevor: oh man. >> this was a time when you could get on planes and travel. and so we would go to different places and the saxophone would follow me. and that would be annoying to people as well but-- i became a saxophone player. >> trevor: my final question to you, if you had a magic slamp, a geneie was going to grant you one wish, would you wish for an oscar or would you wish for a super bowl title. >> you know what, i would say a super bowl title. here is why. because i don't have a chance at that any more. you know what i mean.
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like people ask me all the time, do you miss the game and do you miss, and i think when i first left, i would say no, no, no. and now it's like i miss it to the 10th degree because all can i think about are the missed opportunities, you know, it's like i didn't get to win the super bowl. i didn't get to play in the super bowl, you know, that's what, that is the dream. that is why you want to play. that is why you play the game. so i think i would go with that. you always want what you can no longer have. i think. so i think that would be the answer. >> trevor: okay, my wish if i had it would be for everyone to get the vaccine as quickly as possible. but i guess we both have different, different ideas in life, and that is what makes us different human being, wish for other people, but you can wish-- . >> i wo, thank so much for joining me t was great seeing you. >> you too. >> good luck and congrats, the movie is amazing. don't forget it is available to
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though our first responders are still out on the front lines saving people's lives. now if you want to help the first responders out, then please consider a donation to first responders first which offers firs class medical and psychological treatment for first responders. to find out more all you have to do is go to the link below. until tomorrow, stay safe out there, wear an erection and erection-- what is going on. now here it is, your moment of zen one of the things that has seemed a distraction from the pain are you talking about is you on the internet over the past week. the fact that you have become a meme of the picture of you sitting at the inauguration. in your mit ins, thousands of memes, some of them on the screen, have i to show some of my favorite, even a selfie with us on election night so my question is are you having as
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- okay, mr. thompson, voting line is right over there. next, please. - mom! mommy! where's my mommy? - oh, dear, did you lose your mother, little boy? - mom! - security! - huh? - this little boy lost his mom! - she said to wait for her by the plastic boxes if i got lost! - it's all right, come on. [action movie music plays] ♪ ♪
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