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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  February 2, 2021 11:00pm-11:44pm PST

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to apologize to him. too fat. big fat fatty. daily social distancing show, and today is february 2nd, also known as day 2 of black history month. so let's party, people! -- bust out some of that sweet black history music! ♪ wade in the water ♪ ♪ wade in the water ♪ anyway -- on tonight's show, another reason you might not want to get on a plane, what reddit learned from watching wall street, and biden betta have my money. so let's do this, people! welcome to the daily social distancing show! ♪ ♪ >> from trevor noah's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah. ♪ ♪ >> trevor: before we get
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started, today is groundhog day. which leads me to ask, what the hell is groundhog day? people pull a rodent out of the ground and then ask the animal to predict the weather. really? this is so unfair because if afternoonens were doing shit like this and you heard we pulled animals out of the groune villages in africa where people wear animal skin and if i try to explain americans use groundhogs to predict the weather, they will be like whyt not use this animal. let's move from from talking animals to e-mailing vegetables. >> it's sounds too crazy to believe but scientists really have taught spinach to send e-mails. >> engineers at m.i.t. report spinach roots can detect a compound found in explosive like land minus. when the roots detect the compound molecules and the roots release a signal, that signal is read by an infrared camera which sends an email to scientists. the purpose is to detect
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explosive, but scientists believe it could be used to warn researchers of pollution. the experiment is part of a wider field of research that involves engineering electronic systems into plants. it is also called plant nanobionics. >> trevor: all right, i'm sorry, guys. this is insane. i mean, who e-mails anymore? just dm me, spinach. seriously, spinach, dm me. but you also know what this means -- if spinach just got on email, it means that they're not as savvy about it as everyone else. so let me be the first to say -- greetings, my dearest friend spinach. i have a million dollars in a trust that i suddenly cannot access until the first day of march. if you are able to wire me $10,000, i will pay you back 15 times over. please, spinach, i need you. and you, we play the waiting game.
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( maniacal laugh ) congratulations to the scientists working on the break twhru. maybe they can move on to the next scientific frontier, teaching your mom how to use facetime. how do i turn the camera? mom, i gotta go! just ask the spinach. moving to the coronavirus pandemic, it's the reason sweat pants are now a business expense. yesterday, western australia went into total lockdown after discovering its first coronavirus case in ten months. you see, australia is very different from the united states. in the u.s., water goes down the drain clockwise and, in australia, they care about stopping coronavirus. now, part of the reason for australia's success is that australians don't resist the government as much when they tell them that they should stay at home. and it's partly because these people know that covid is a serious disease. it's also partly because it lets australians stay away from all the other things in australia
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that could kill them. yeah, mate, it's bad enough that the scorpions and snakes are trying to kill me but there's a koala that's trying to give me eventually, of course, the world will reemerge from the pandemic, and i know everyone thinks they're going to jump right back into their old lives like going to bars or theaters or using the bottom half of your face to express emotion. but you might want to prepare for a period of adjustment, because some things apparently take a little time to relearn. >> a new report says some pilots are getting rusty on the job due to the pandemic because, well, there are fewer planes to fly. >> some pilots grounded for months by the pandemic have seen their skills and proficiency suffer. for instance, one pilot forgot to disengage the parking break, damaging a tow truck that was trying to pull that plane from the gate. in another case, the pilot, well, forgot to turn on the anti-icing mechanism.
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other reports include kleining up the wrong runway for landing. to counter such rustiness, the f.a.a. stops pilots from flying a commercial jet unless they have performed at least three takeoffs and landings either or on a plane or in a similar later in the previous 90 days. >> trevor: this is scary. apparently you never forget how to ride a bike but yu forget how to fly a plane after five days? man, this is going to change everything. next time the plane hits turbulence, the pilot will jump on the intercom, uh, any hijackers on board? we need someone who knows how to fly the plane. i get pilots are human burr there are certain jobs where there is less room for error. a mail car yore says, whoops, this was supposed to go to apartment two and i sent it to apartment three. as a pilot, it's like, whoopsie,
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these people were supposed to go toheim and i accidentally sent them to heaven. trust me, not just pilots, everyone will be rusty after covid, projectionists will be showing movies upside down. bullies will give you their lunch money. until the pandemic is actually over, americans will need more help getting through it. and the big question of what that help will look like is dominating washington, d.c. right now. >> president biden's pledge of bipartisanship facing its first test tonight. the president inviting ten republican senators to the oval office to pitch their covid relief counteroffer, their $600 billion proposal is a mere fraction of the president's $1.9 trillion package. the g.o.p. plan leaves out a minimum wage boost the president includes, and whittles down his $1,400 direct payments to americans to $1,000. still, when all was said and
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done, the white house did not appear to concede much ground saying the president will not settle for a package that fails to meet the moment. >> this is a sign of this effort from president biden to get pierntsship here, but also comes as democrats on capitol hill are paving the way to move forward with only democratic votes for the relief package. >> trevor: i get why democrats and republicans are having trouble agreeing. this is a difference of $1.3 trillion. how do you compromise when you're that far apart? it's like deciding what's for dinner. you want something nice but your date wants to eat out of a gas station trash can, you can't compromise and eat out of a nice trash can. i love how republicans get stingy the second a democrat comes into office. in the trump years they were handing out tax cuts with a trip money gun. but now that biden is president, they're handing out covid relief
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a penny at a time. one penny, two pennies. am i making it rain yet? three pennies, more of a drizzle, i agree. now, a lot of people are upset about the democrats' plan to give people $1,400 because they say that the democrats promised to give people $2,000. but the democrats are arguing that everybody already got the first $600 a month ago, and i get the democrats point observe this one, but, at the same time, so many people are struggling right now, why not just give them $2,600 instead? you can find the money somewhere. take it from space wars, trump is gone, we don't have to pretend that's a thing anymore. let's move to the second most talked about instagram video from last night after karen. the post by representative alexandria ocasio-cortez who gave a harrowing account of her personal experience during the capitol attack. >> we're getting an eye opening new look inside last month's ca. alexandria ocasio-cortez describing the impact of the riots, sharing details of what
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happened to her during the insurrection at the capitol, telling her viewers she felt she was going to die. >> all of a sudden, i hear, boom, boom, boom, boom, boom, on my door, like this, like i'm here, and the bathroom door is going thick, like, this. it's in front of me and i'm like this and the door hinge is here and i just hear, where is she, where is she? and this was the moment where i thought everything was over. i just happened to, you know, be a spiritual person and be raised in that context, and i really just felt like, you know, if this is the plan for me, then
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people will be able to take it from here. >> trevor: wow. you know, for a lot of us at home, the capitol riots were basically an action movie on tv. it was scary, intense and terrify bug, at the end of the day, we were just watching it. but an action movie is very different when you are actually in the movie. i mean, a.o.c. and other members of congress literally thought that they were going to die. on a wednesday afternoon, no less. nobody should die in the middle of the week. that means you went to work on monday and tuesday for nothing. and thank god no members of congress were actually hurt. but even just believing that you're going to die is a major trauma, and a.o.c. handled it way better than i would have. she was, like, if this is where my journey ends, so be it? if i thought i was about to die, i wouldn't be pondering my journey, i would be trying to delete my browser history. to everyone who was saying how scared could she really have been, think about how terrified you get when someone knocks on the bathroom door when there
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isn't even a riot. ( knocking ) someone's in here! oh, god, now they're going to know that i pooped. so i'm glad a.o.c. shared the story because many republicans in congress would like to pretend this shit never happened, that the lives of congress members and their staff weren't in danger and police officers guarding the capitol weren't injured and killed. but if there's no accountability, then it becomes easier and easier for it to happen again, and the last thing we need from this action movie is a sequel. when we come back, we'll look at my hedge funds are so mad about the game stop upraising and ibram x. kendi is joining us on the show. so don't go away. >> republicans have no way to communicate. >> this is what you would expect the socialist to do is to stamp out any opposing viewpoint. >> i'm not going to be silenced. >> shut you up. shut us up. >> we won't even be invited to the debate to present our ideas. i wrote an entire chapter about
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it in my book. >> when you see people being denied book deals, what you are seeing is fawned mental erosion of the concept of liberty and freedom in america. >> you have to be progressive, that's what's cool right now. if you are a conservative, you can't speak about it, you can't talk about it. >> silence conservatives, stifle free speech. >> they have silenced us. they have censored us, they have taken us out of the conversation. they have the entirety of congress, big tech, hollywood, academia, what do we have left?
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without dyes or perfumes. the towel washed with downy is softer, fluffier, and gentler on your skin. try downy free & gentle. recognized by the national psoriasis foundation and national eczema association. show." by now, you've probably heard about the game stop uprising, the biggest thing to happen with video games since sonic got busted for doping. but if you haven't heard the news, what happened is that some wall street hedge funds bet a lot of money that the stock price of the video game store game stop would fall. but a bunch of people on ready-to-found out about the bets so they started buying game stop shares so the price would go up and the hedge funds would lose a lot of money, and lose a lot of money they did, in the billions of dlamplets so as you can imagine, wall street is pretty unhappy with those reddit investors. >> a handful of industry leaders are calling for an investigation because of the angry mob that's
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formed against them. >> last week wasn't a free market, it was a free-for-all market. >> no doubt about it, for my 25 years in the business, i've never seen this form of collusion on such a widespread fashion. >> this type of behavior is not the behavior that you want to be replicating. >> i think there is something obviously wrong and it's the gamefication of wall street. >> talked to an analyst this morning, guys, he says this is dangerous. they forget buying a stock in a piece of company is not just some symbol you play hot potato with. >> just because you throw the hail mary pass in your backyard and it's caught for the touchdown in the wind doesn't mean you're tom brady. >> what's going through my mind is how irrelevant i feel and how every day i just don't want to get out of bed and how it's the least amount of fun i think i've ever had. >> trevor: oh, man! these wall street guys are taking this so hard that their interviews are just turning into therapy sessions. i feel so irrelevant right now, and i'm not having any fun!
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and i just remembered my parents never hung my paintings on the refrigerator! ( crying ) the truth is what the reddit did is nothing new. the only thing that makes this so unique is this is just the first time that it therele guy has used the big guys' tactics against them because, when it comes to manipulating the market and treating trades like a game, no one is better at it than wall street. they do this shit all the time. in fact, let's take a look at a few examples starting with a scam one big bank pulled just a few years ago. >> the "new york times" reporting over the weekend that goldman sachs is running a scheme to artificially inflate aluminum prices. >> an aluminum warehouse owned by goldman sachs owns a quarter of the north american demand for the metal but distributes 3,000 tons a day, no more, no less, whatever the demand, pushing the prices of the metal higher even as demand declined. goldman profits two ways, first
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from the extended rents paid to store the metal and second by the bets made on aluminum futures by its trading arm. >> the inflated aluminum pricing by goldman and other financial players has cost american consumers $5 billion over the last three years. >> trevor: yeah, that's right. basically, goldman sachs manipulated the supply of aluminum by only letting out a little bit at a time. the same way daniel day lewis limits the supply of movies he's been in. he's only been in six movies in the past 20 years. get to work, danny! the rest of the segment, i pronounce it aluminum, even though the correct prunes nation is al-min-yum. aluminum should never be hoarded. it needs to be used the way god intend to make condoms for robots or marjorie taylor greene
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to wear as a hat. believe it or not, goldman sachs got away with this scheme for a years until people caught on to it. so i guess you could say their aluminum plan -- was foiled. wow! bow, bow, bow! as crazy as this is, it's a common tactic with wall street. you take over a market and manipulate the supply to drive up the price. like how j.p. horgen used its control over electricity to felicia california. >> jp morgan chaste accused of manipulating energy prices and driving up the electric bills of millions of americans. >> when energy prices are low they would bid them up at night so in the morning the companies would find the prices artificially high, so they would have to buy the energy in the morning when it was very very expensive. >> in one days jp morgan duped
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california utilities into paying $999 per megawatt hour when the going rate buzz only $12. >> trevor: this shit is crazy. these guys were sitting around the table, i'm tired of abusing our power metaphorically, let's got it for real. the price of electricity went up from $12 to $1,000 per megawatt. even the amish said i don't know what electricity is but that shit is messed up! i hope the amish community doesn't come after me on twitter for that one. i would be less upset if you jumped and robbed me, at least it feels like you had to rob it. hedge fund people aren't ashamed. some even brag about it on the tv. >> jim cramer once made a fortune running a successful hedge fund. he went on to host his own tv show mad money that offers stock tips to investors. but as cramer found out lately, a lot of americans are mad at
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him. this video made in 2006 has suddenly gone viral. cramer explains to his own financial web site street.com how he could influence stock prices up and down as the manager of a massive hedge fund. >> a lot of times when i was short at my hedge fund and positipositioned it short, i wod crate a level of activity beforehand that would drive the futures. doesn't take much money but it's fun and lucrative. i encourage anyone in the hedge fund to do it because it is legal and a quick way to make money and very satisfying. no one else in the world would admit that but i don't care. >> trevor: these people have no shame, no a sili: he's out here boasting about his evil plans. the only people who do that are hedge fund guys and bond villains. listen -- it's legal and it's
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very satisfying. just as a general rule, whenever you have to remind something that something is legal, it's probably shady. no one's ever, like, hey, trevor, you want to go to the cheesecake factory? it's legal. ah... but when it comes to hurting people in order to make a buck nothing comes to the great recession in 2008 which was caused by, guess who? wall street manipulating the markets. >> during the hot housing market, banks took millions of home mortgages, many held by people who could not afford them, and bundled them into mack jess such as mortgage securities. jp morgan admitted it sold packages to inverts even though its executives knew many to have the mortgages were highly suspect. when the market collapsed, those packages became mostly worthless. >> goldman sold inverts sub prime mortgage packages but made its own bet the same investments would lose value without telling inverts. goldman employees themselves used profanity to disparage the deals. >> bow, that timber wolf was one
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(~bleep~) deal. >> when asked any of the executives partly responsible for the collapse -- >> there are things we wish we would have done better in hindsight... >> or even regret -- >> regret to me means something you feel you did wrong and i don't have that. >> when you hear your own employees or read about those in e-mails, do you feel anything? >> i think that's very unfortunate to have on email. and very unfortunate -- i don't know -- >> on email. how about feeling that way. >> i think it's very unfortunate for anyone to have said that. >> trevor: even the crowd in the chamber was like, oh! you know how bad you have to screw things up to turn a senate hearing into a jerry springer taping? that's how you know how psychotic these guys are, not only did they tank the economy but they talk abet motions like they're serial killers. do you regret outer hg these people? regret is a thing one feels when
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one has done something wrong. i mean, how can you expect these guys to change their behavior when they can't even express the closest wall street comes to reflecting is doing coke off of a mirror. so after all the damage wall street has done to people's lives, please miss me with all of this whining about how unfair it is for reddit to boost game stop. don't get me wrong, i'm not saying all reddit guys are heroes, but i will say it has been fun watching how some people who got rich off game stop have been spending their money. >> while game stop minted plenty of millionaires, many investors are using more modest profits to bay bills. >> one investor paid off his student loan debt. >> 10-year-old jayden car, two years ago his mom brought him ten shares of gameshop as a kwanza gift, back then $6 each. now he sold them for more than
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$3,000. >> what are you going to do with the money you made on game stop? >> i've already saved 2,200 of it and the rest of the thousand is going to invest in more companies. >> hunter cashed in on the game stop phenomenon last beak week but not just for himself, he used some of the money he made to donate six nintendo switches and games to the children's hospital in minnesota. >> one day trader who cashed in on the craze walked into a game stop store and started handing out $100 bills to employees. >> after the robin hood app halted trading on game stop one investor charted a plane with a banner saying suck my nuts, robin hoon. >> trevor: that's a gangster move, twitter but in the sky. you can say it's childish to take money you saved on wall street to dunk on wall street, but in the words of james cramer, it's legal and very satisfying! when we come back, ibram x. kendi will talk about african-american history that you might have missed.
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♪♪ ♪♪ "the daily social distancing show." earlier today, i spoke with professor ibram x. kendi. he's an historian who you might know from his award-winning book, "how to be and
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antiracist." we talked about his new anthology of african-american history and so much more. professor kendi, welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> it's great to be back on the show. >> trevor: yeah, it's good to be back for you. but technically, the last time i saw you was in the studio. >> yes. >> trevor: a lot has changed since then, not just the fact that people are at home but the fact that america has seen so many changes, and, yet, some may argue america has seen so much more to have the same. your book rose to the "new york times" best seller list during the protests, and what many people got from your work is how you laid out steps for people to engage in antiracism. tell me more about that and why you felt it was necessary to lay out the steps and the tools people could use and why it's important to being antiracist as opposed to not racist. >> when racial inequity and
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justice is normal, when you do nothing what happens to the normality? it's going to persist. so i really wanted to encourage people to actively challenge racism, but also to realize there's a direct opposite to notions of racial hierarchy, and that's notions of racial equality, which are antiracist ideas. there's a direct opposite to policies that lead to maintain racial inequity, and that's antiracist policy. so we can be creating a different type of america with different types of policies and different type of ideas. >> trevor: a lot of people love your work because you delve into the past and tie it to the present. this project is really special because you're editing a book about the history of being african-american, and yet, instead of just looking at it through the lens of one person, one author, one storyteller, you've gone with multiple stories. everyone from i've rewalk of life who fought for black freedom in america from slave
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trade all the way through the current day, tell me why you thought you could retell a story that has been told so many times in a different way. why did you think i'll jump on this project to edit this book? >> well, i mean, with the 400th anniversary or birthday of black america approaching, i think we wanted to figure out a new way to tell black america's history. we wanted a new way to commemorate this moment. one of the oldest racist ideas is this idea that we're a monolith. that there's not incredible diversity within black america. and, also, african-american history has traditionally been written by a man, oftentimes a black man. so i think, with those two things, we really wanted to bring together a community to write the history of a community, an extremely diverse community. i think that's one of the things
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we're mott proud about in terms of this book, just the diversity of blackness within the book, and even the ordinary and extraordinary characters we share. >> trevor: when you look at those stories, do you ever wonder what your dream is for the end goal? sometimes i'll talk to friends who will say what is, like, your definition white privilege? for my it's you have the opportunity to fail and succeed on your behalf and your behalf alone. if a white man launches a rocket to the moon or shoots up a school that's what he did. if a black person launches a rocket to the moon, i mean, these niggers be launching rockets. you know what i mean? as a professor who studies race, what place do you hope to see us achieve? >> well, it's ironic you speak about that individuality because i think, in the introduction to "four hundred souls," i wrote
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about how we're not able as a black people to be individuals, right. and, so, certainly, for me, that would be an end goal. but i also think, you know, justice. you know, equal justice, you know, for all peoples. just something as simple as, when i see a member of public safety or a police officer or whatever we would have in the future, i don't feel scared, you know. >> trevor: right. >> when i haven't done anything wrong, i'm not going to certainly feel scared. or something like i walk into a place to apply for a job, and i don't have to look twice at what i'm wearing, how i'm going to speak, because that's not really going to matter, you know, especially if, you know, i have the qualifications. >> trevor: i've always wondered, you know, when i traveled the world, you know, i would be lucky enough, my comedy would take me to different
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countries. i was always intrigued by how black people specifically would be treated differently when they were not the black of that country. you know, like, black americans would come to south africa, and oftentimes, whether it was shopkeepers or just people in the street, they would be, like, oh, you're a black american, very, very different. sometimes even africans from other african country would come and be treated differently, the assume i would notice in america. is there something in the story of race that is also tied to the history of the country as to how the people of the country treated the people in the country. >> i think race and racism is simultaneously global and national. nerd, you can see similar trends across the world, but each of those trends, each of those policies and each of those racial constructions are distinct to the nation. but what's also consistent is pretty muchette rination in the
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world argues that they're not racist towards black people. ( laughter ) >> trevor: yeah, you see that across the board, whether it's the south african apartheid government or to the u.s., people go, no, no, we're not racist, we just do these racist things to these people. there's a new administration in the white house. many people feel like this is a new opportunity for america. joe biden has said on multiple occasions that racism is going to be at the forefront of his agenda, which has drawn him a lot of criticism. what would you hope that he would actually do that could move america forward in achieving that racial equality? >> well, one thing he's doing with the coronavirus is he continues to say that he's going to put science before politics, and, so, as it relates to racial inequity and inju injustice, ife was to put science before politics, if he was to
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essentially look at what scholars are saying, how we can eliminate inequities and injustices, how we can reduce or eliminate police violence, not necessarily be concerned about white swing or even republican voters, i think he would be able to make serious advances int rooting out racism. but the fact of the matter is the irony is the very folks who support racist policies that drive us apart through inequities, who support racist policies that maintain racial injustice that causes people to be killed by police which then leads to mass demonstrations are the very people trying to claim we're divisive, right. i mean, that's the fundamental, you know, fallacy. we want -- equality brings people together, last i heard. >> trevor: right. well, i will say this, it will always be a journey, always be a challenging one, but to have people like you writing the most
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amazing works to help us figure it out helps every single day. so thank you for joining us on the show again, thank you for editing this amazing piece of work and i hope to see you again. >> thank you so much, trevor. >> trevor: "four hundred souls" edit by professor kendi and keisha blain is available now. we'll take a quick break but we'll be right back after when you switch to xfinity mobile, you're choosing to get connected to the most reliable network nationwide, now with 5g included. discover how to save up to $300 a year with shared data starting at $15 a month,
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or get the lowest price for one line of unlimited. come into your local xfinity store to make the most of your mobile experience. you can shop the latest phones, bring your own device, or trade in for extra savings. stop in or book an appointment to shop safely with peace of mind at your local xfinity store. >> trevor: that's our show for tonight, but before we go, this black history month, please consider supporting dreaming out loud. they're an organization that's increasing access to healthy food in marginalized communities and building a sustainable food system that employs and works for people of all backgrounds. if you'd like to support their work, then please check out the link below. until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, wear a mask, and if the pilot on your flight forgets how to fly, just remember -- the sky is up and the ground is down. now, here it is -- your moment of zen. >> we have all the election dominion machines, we have 100% proof, and when they took it
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down -- >> mike, mike, so we wanted to talk to you about canceling culture, if you will. we don't want to re-litigate th- >> wait, wait, wait, wait ( ( talking at the same time ) >> we understand where you are. i don't want to have to keep going over this. with we have not been able to verify any of those allegations that you're -- >> mike, hold on a second. everybody hold on a second. mike, hold on one second. let's talk a little bit about just what is happening overall in terms of censorship -- - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ - ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ going down to south park ♪ . ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headed on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪
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