tv The Daily Show With Trevor Noah Comedy Central February 5, 2021 1:16am-2:00am PST
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and i'm glad no one stopped me from saying it. anyway, on tonight's show: why lil uzi vert is getting insurance for his forehead. roy wood jr and michael kosta preview the super bowl. and marjorie taylor greene discovers 9/11. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show."■ç >> announcer: from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with joseph "railroad" biden, president of the united states and america's palette cleanser. he has made fighting the coronavirus pandemic his top priority, and while much of that involves improving vaccine distribution and doing more testing, biden is also considering a creative new idea: >> the biden administration is weighing in on a plan to send masks to every american. nbc news reports the biden white house is considering sending face coverings directly to households across the country. the covid-19 response team is
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currently evaluating the logistics of mailing out millions of masks. >> trevor: okay, this is a great idea, because it helps everybody! democrats get free masks, and republicans get free toilet paper. nah, i'm joking. i mean, you'd think that if someone hasn't worn a mask by now, i mean, this isn't going to convince them. but you should never underestimate the power of free shit. you ever seen the free samples people will eat at a grocery store? if they'll fight each other over a plastic spoon of liver casserole, they'll probably wear a free mask. at the same time, it might be a little wasteful to send these to everyone, because some of us have a ton of masks lying around. i mean, my apartment looks like sub-zero hasn't picked up his laundry. but, still, it's a good idea. and based on how well the government has managed vaccine distribution so far, we can all expect to get our masks by the end of 2023. yay! but until then, we still have to deal wit the fallout of the pandemic. and one of the many casualties
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has been the 2020 tokyo olympics, which got canceled quicker than morgan wallen. but yesterday, the olympic committee released a new safety plan to ensure that the games could go ahead this year instead. unfortunately, those plans were quickly overshadowed by another announcement from the olympic committee. >> the head of the tokyo olympics organizing commitee is in some hot water this morning over some sexist comments that were made earlier this week. 83-year-old yoshiro mori said that women talk too much during meetings, making them run too long. mori called that annoying, and added that women want to speak up when they see others speaking. the former prime minister was responding to a question about increasing the number of female members of the organizing committee. mori has since apologized. >> trevor: oh, man, this dude is going to wish he did resign, because now he's going
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to have to go back into meetings, and it's going to be hella awkward. "how is your department doing, sharon?" "i don't know. do i have enough time to tell you, bitch?" and i'm not excusing this guy's sexism, but at the same time, he is 83. i mean, put your grandparents in front of a microphone for two minutes and see how many are still allowed to host the oscars. and, look, he's not totally wrong. he's not totally wrong. meetings can go longer when women are in them. i know, i know, but hear me out. because every time a woman gives an idea, a man repeats the idea a minute later, so it doubles the meeting time. but, honestly, i don't even know why this guy was having meetings to begin with. it's the olympics! they've been doing it for 125 years. what do you need to talk about? "all right, everyone still okay with gold being first place? great. item two, second place. everyone still good with silver? all right, third place. let's move from someone killing his career to someone killing rap game. what do you do as a rap star to
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show the world you've really made it? maybe you buy a big house or a fancy car or you splurge out on hulou plus. no ads! but now one rapper is taking bling to the next level. >> rapper lil uzi vert has unveiled his new forehead piercing, a nearly 11-carat pink diamond for which he paid $24 million. >> he tweeted that he's been making payments on the diamond for the past three years and assuring fans that he does have insurance. >> he said it's more than his bugatti, other cars, house-- everything combined. >> trevor: "all my friends are diamond in my head." a $24 million piercing! that, my friends, is the definition of balling. i just hope his career keeps going up, because there's nothing worse than having to pawn your forehead because times are tough. but until then, he's probably the most recognizable rapper in the world. noose a plus.
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the downside is that now vision can unlock his face i.d. not to mention, the problem with having a diamond in your forehead is that you can never do that thing where you pretend that you don't have any money. "sorry, man, times are tough. oh, this? this is cubic zirconia. this isn't what you think." your forehead is a very secure place to keep a diamond. it would take the world's most skilled jewel thief to steal it without getting caught. which means... "ze game is afoot, leetle uzi veerrrr!" but let's get to today's big story: the battle over georgia congresswoman marjorie taylor greene, rising republican star and the friend everyone ignores in the group text. greene is known for her history of deranged beliefs, ranging from racist conspiracy theories about jewish space lasers, to supporting calls to execute democratic politicians. now, democrats can't stop her from serving in congress, and
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they definitely can't stop her from saying crazy shit, but today, they decided to give her just a little less input on the running the country. >> tonight, house democrats taking unprecedented steps: stripping marjorie taylor greene of her committee assignments. >> she will be a member of the house of representatives for the next two years, but she's going to be a member without being able to serve on any of these committees. >> trevor: yes, people, marjorie taylor greene has been kicked off her committees. if you think about it, this is a pretty sweet deal for greene. basically, her punishment for acting insane was to do less work for the same amount of money. and, honestly, i think kicking her off these committees could backfire. the last thing you want to do with a crazy person is to give them time to be crazy. that's why they should put her on all the committees, then you'll never hear from her again. ( greene )
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"excuse me, when are we going to get to the jewish space lasers?" ( old man ) "first we need to discuss the budget for asphalt acquisitions. sharon, do you have a report?" ( sharon ) "i don't know. do i have time to report, bitch?" ( old man ) "oh, come on. i sent say that,. that was yoshiro. so democrats have made their position on marjorie taylor greene clear, but republicans are a different story. while some prominent senators have spoken out against her, house republicans held a meeting last night where they decided to stick by her-- or, at the very least, look the other way. >> house republicans hosted a marathon meeting overnight. >> there's a lot of questions that have to be answered, and we have to be able to do that in a family meeting to help bring people back together. >> marjorie taylor greene, who escaped any punishment yesterday over her very extreme views, including endorsing political violence and anti-semitic falsehoods. >> sources say greene was given a standing ovation from half of the members in the room after
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she expressed remorse for some of her past comments. >> i think it would be helpful if you could hear what she told us, denouncing qanon. i don't know if i say it right. i don't even know what it is. any from the shootings, she said she knew nothing about lasers or all the different things brought up about her. >> trevor: damn, kevin mccarthy he's a g.o.p. o.g. "i didn't hear shit, didn't see shit, and i definitely don't know shit." it's truly amazing that this guy acts like he doesn't know what qanon is, even after they tried to kill him. i mean, most people would have at least googled them at that point. like, eventually, carole baskin must have been like, "okay, i'll bite-- who's this tiger king guy? i should figure this out, right?" and it's not like these guys don't have time to research conspiracy theories, because when it comes to hunter biden, they remember every word like its the lyrics to their favorite song. ( mccarthy ) "see, the burisma emails decrypted from the delaware laptop have been verified by tony bobulinksi..." but ask them about the biggest right-wing cult in the country and they're like, "uh...
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coo-non? kwa-hoo-na-na? man, who can keep track of this stuff?" but to be fair to kevin mccarthy he's far from the only republican who'd rather look like a dumbass than take a position on marjorie taylor greene and her crazy beliefs. although, some republicans are a little smoother at it than others. >> newly elected senator, arch-conservative from alabama, tommy tuberville tells cnn he doesn't know anything about the congresswoman because the bad weather kept him from reading the news. >> been traveling. this weather's been a little rough, looking at any news, or whatever. >> trevor: heal? he hasn't been looking at the news because "the weather's been rough"? i know it's alabama, but is this dude getting his news by stage coach? ( tuberville ) "it's been so stormy, the pony express hasn't made it out here with the latest tweets!" clearly, marjorie taylor greene has become a distraction and a liability for the republican party, which is maybe why she decided to step up on the floor of the house today and disavow many of her past, insane beliefs.
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>> when i started finding misinformation, lies, things that were not true in these qanon posts, i stopped believing it. school shootings are absolutely real. and every child that is lost, those families mourn it. i also want to tell you 9/11 absolutely happened, so that i definitely want to tell you, i do not believe that it's fake. >> trevor oooh, looks like someone started listening to the reasonable voices in her head. although, this woman is so crazy, that her saying that 9/11 happened makes me go, "wait... did it?" but, hey, i'm glad that she's come around to the standard republican belief that school shootings are real and that nothing should be done to stop them. but you may not want to give greene too much credit for disavowing these conspiracies, since it turns out, she doesn't take responsibility for believing them in the first place. >> what i did is i started looking up things on the internet, and i stumbled across
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something-- and this is at the end of 2017-- called qanon. i was allowed to believe things that weren't true, and i would ask questions about them and talk about them. and that is absolutely what i regret, because if it weren't for the facebook posts and comments that i liked in 2018, i wouldn't be standing here today, and you couldn't point a finger and accuse me of anything wrong. >> trevor: wow, i've never seen someone try to delete their browser history in real life. but, yes, you see, it's all facebook's fault, for "allowing" her to believe in those things. so don't blame her. blame mark zuckerberg, with his social media lies and his space lasers. now, look, man, marjorie taylor greene isn't the first person to believe things she read on the internet. but her defense isn't really reassuring because, basically, what she's saying is, "yes, up until now, i believed that school shootings were fake, 9/11 didn't happen, and jewish space lasers blew up california.
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but that's only because i am incapable of separating fantasy from reality. so let's do the right thing and let me go back to making laws." all right, when we come back, roy wood junior and michael kosta break down what we can expect on super bowl sunday. you don't want to miss it. yeah, i mean the thing is, people like geico because it's just easy. bundling for example. you've got car insurance here. and home insurance here. why not... schuuuuzp.. put them together. save even more. some things are just better together, aren't they? like tea and crumpets. but you wouldn't bundle just anything. like, say... a porcupine in a balloon factory. no. that'd be a mess. i mean for starters, porcupines are famously no good in a team setting. geico. save even more
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[ice cubes cracking] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily social distancing show." this weekend is the super bowl. also known as where gronk thinks he lives. but this this super bowl sunday, officials are worried that a giant platter of wings isn't the only thing that's going to be passed around. >> as super bowl weekend looms, fears the game could become a superspreader event. the c.d.c. is issuing
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guidelines or the big game, warning against attending large gatherings, urging people to watch at home with your own household. >> trevor: yes, people! please, listen to the c.d.c.! that's what i'm going to do. i came this far. i'm not going to have an obituary with the words "buccaneers" in there. if i'm going to die, it's not going to be because of a football game. i want to go peacefully, in my sleep, at a baseball game. so, please, guys, do the right thing and watch the game safely. and for a preview of the big game, let's turn now to roy wood junior and michael kosta in another episode of "i apologize for talking while you were talking." ♪ ♪ ♪ >> what's up, sports fans? he's roy wood jr., i'm michael kosta, and it's that time again, roy. we are getting ready for the super bowl. >> ywe are, kosta, super bowl lv, when young upstarred patrick mahomes takes on tom brady who is trying to become the oldest man in history. >> you know tom brady has been playing forever, roy, because i've had time to like him winning, get sick of him winning, then get sick of myself
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being sick of him winning, and now i like him again. >> i'm rooting for mahomes, but i kind of feel bad for the dude, kosta. on the one hand, if he loses, you lost to an old guy. on the other hand, if he wins, it's elder abuse. but either way, i'm looking forward to super bowl lv, kansas city chiefs, tampa bay buccaneers. let's go. my whole house is riding on this. >> hell, yeah, roy, i'm still coming over to watch the game, right? >> oh, no, the hell you are not, dude. you're a walkie petri dish. >> walking-- why do you and the c.d.c. keep saying that? >> let's be real about this year's super bowl. things are going to be a little different because of the 'rona. >> this aunt your ma's super bowl. coronavirus is changing every part of the game, including the stuff that plays in between the games. >> the companies behind some of the most iconic super bowl ads ever announced they're staying on the sidelines this year, choosing not to run any ads for
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their products. but wiser says they will donate the money that would have gone to a tv spot to covid vaccine awareness campaigns instead. >> it's a tricky year to hit the tone and decide if people are ready for a laugh or do they want something more serious? >> this is a trafistry, and i'm not just saying that because i nailed my audition to become the next budweiser clydesdale. i ate 50 pounds of hay. >> that's what that was. i thought you looked horseyer than usual. >> how do you sit out the super bowl. it's the one time of year people are talking about the commercials. you go to work on monday, and your coworkers, what did you think of the commercials? and you go, i don't know, i was too drunk. >> last thing i want to see on my tv on super bowl sunday is the pillsbury doughboy talking about the unprecedented times before his belly gets finger blasted. the good thing is these bigger companies not advertising makes room for smaller company, like,
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say, yankee candle, big production, fireworks, the whole nine. and have morgan freeman do the voiceover. >> yankee candle: the official cuddle up candle of the n.f.l. >> that's what i want, bro. >> fingers crossed, roy. of course, the super bowl ads aren't the only way the the big game will be affected. if you're hoping to get a ticket, you're even more out of luck than usual. >> if you want to go to the super bowl get ready to dish out major money. the big game is always pricy but there is limited capacity this year. >> we're talking about major, major money. right now prices range from $10,000 to nearly $85,000. i can't even wrap my head around this. this is the most expensive super bowl ticket yet. >> $85,000 for a ticket? i was spending that much money, the seat better come with unlimited drinks and all you can eat hay. >> one thing i'm glad to see-- the n.f.l. is giving 7500
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vaccinated healthcare workers free tickets to the game. they busted their ass throughout the pandemic and what better way to let off steam than see 100 men slam their brains together? >> it turns out at least one poet got the invite. invite, too. >> now inaugural poet amanda gorman is going to perform at the super bowl. she's going to perform an original poem before the game to honor three heroes. the n.f.l. has named as honorary captains. >> a poem before the super bowl? i don't know, kosta. i guess, but, when i'm trying to get hyped up for some gridiron action the last thing i want to hear is somebody telling me about the two roads, the verge, the yellow birds, and i'm crying in the caseo because i never went to dance school. >> there's no shame in giving up your dreams, roy. props to amanda gourman. this shows how huge she's become. there's no way the n.f.l. said, "we definitely want a poet to
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kick off super bowl. it's just a matter of which one." >> i'm happy for gorman. i know she'll crush it, but the n.f.l. better not think we will forget about the diversity problem. of the seven head coach positions open, only one was fielded by a black guy, and i'm pretty sure they only hired him because they thought he was obama. >> i don't know. they don't really look alike to me. >> wow, okay, kosta. so you're seriously saying that all black people don't look alike? >> uhm... yes? >> it was a test. >> oh, yes! does that mean we can bubble up and watch the game? i perhaps i'll be safe. all i have on saturday is a dentist appointment and a four-hand massage. but that's it. >> no, not a chance. that's all for us, trevor. back to you. >> dude, come oi'll bring hay. >> stop with the hay. i'm really worried about you. >> trevor: thank you so much for that, guys. all right, when we come back,
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what? ooo, that's a low price. you're so good at low prices. yeah. circle back on that later... that's a low price. dan, you're off mute buddy. no, no low price! - dog lice? - low price! oh, that's a low price! i'm gonna get it! with everyday low prices at amazon, anytime is a good time to save. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily social distancing show." earlier today, i spoke with representative cori bush of missouri. she's part of a new group of progressive democrats shaking up congress and their own party. we talked about her first month in office, her priorities for congress and so much more. congresswoman cori bush, welcome to "the daily social distancing show." show ( laughs ) >> thanks for having me. >> trevor: i thank you for making the time. we literally had to wait for this interview because you were on the floor giving your remarks in i'm sure what many people would agree was a fiery condemnation of your colleagues'
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inability to condemn white spremmary, and also condone the actions of, in particular, marjorie taylor greene. why is this such a major issue for you? i know it's an obvious question, but i want to know why you are so fired up by what's happening in congress right now. >> multiple reasons. one, if we don't call it out, if we just allow it, we continue with what we have right now. my activist friends and i, we stood out on the streets of ferguson day in and day out, rain, sleet, snow, he hell, no,e won't go. but also fighting to be able to be here, to be in a place where we get to make the decisions to save lives and especially save black lives. you think i'm gog make it all the way to congress and then be quiet when white supremacy comes and knocks at the door? when white supremacy was ready to attack me and my colleagues? when it could have attacked my team? i will say this: it's not that she can't evolve or be reformed. and so that's why i won't shut
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up, because maybe she just needs to be exposed that there is a whole other side to this thing. it's called loving humanity. and she gave a response earlier today saying she regrets, you know, some of the things she said because, you know, she didn't realize that those things, you know, may not be true. this is the thing: she called me a terrorist. she said i was the leader of a terrorist mob. she said i called on the rape and the burning of a home. and i called, you know, for the murder of a couple. she didn't take that back. she didn't regret that. that's kind of stuff that's dangerous for our communities. and so that's has to be called out. >> trevor: you haven't been afraid to speak your mind about what you see that is going wrong. and you have had an interesting journey because you were an activist marching from ferguson, you know. this was the pre-george floyd, before it became a nationwide movement the way people saw in 2020. it's been interesting because some people will say that the activists on the streets are the
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reason that we're seeing the changes. and now you are in congress. where do you think that more progress is made, in congress or through the activism in the streets? should more activists be trying to get into lawmaking? >> absolutely more activists should be trying to get into law the making. but you need both. and, you know, if you have-- you have to have both. you can't just have one. it's not either/or. you need the activists that will put pressure, that will do the work to make sure things are moving and the awareness and visibility. but then you need the person with the pen, the power of the purse to be able to bring those things home. that's what we were missing when we were out there fighting for justice for michael brown. but now there's a representative sitting here, and i'm hoping to be able to pull in more. not just in congress. we need them on the local level and the state level. >> trevor: you are the first black woman to represent missouri in congress. you overcame extreme odds. i mean, you know, living an
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unsheltered life. you were unhomeland. a mother of two kid, and you shared being a survivor of sexual assault. it is a story that resonated with many,■ç and some of your constituents have said i like her because i believe she will fight for me because she reminds me of me. when you're now in congress and you are trying to i think enact laws that are specific to your constituents in missouri, and then there's, obviously, the laws that are going to affect the entire country, how do you find that balance? what are you looking to achieve? >> every single moment i'm thinking about what can can we do to make sure we're doing the absolute most for everybody in our district and around the country but starting with those who have the very least. because i've been someone who has the very least, and i understand how legislation happens all around us and all above us, but then it misses us, so many of us. trevor, i can remember the days when i was hungry, and i was able to feed my kids but not myself. i remember being abused by a former partner, and not being
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able to have justice in that situation. so why would i not? if i'm okay with being vulnerable for my people, so that they get change, why would i not bring that to the forefront and use that to help inform legislation? and to help push my colleagues. like, you may not know what it was like to be hungry. you may not know-- these things may not be your story. you may not know what it's like to have your rape kit sit on the shelf for four months and not get justice. you may not understand what it's like to make $20,000 less a year because you're a black woman and there's a man sitting next to you doing the same job and making measure money than you. >> trevor: do you think many of your colleagues are out of touch? i mean, one of the stories you shared, which was pretty insane, you got to the capitol, and you were wearing a breonna taylor mask, and some of your now-colleagues thought you were breonna taylor. i mean, that truly means there are some people-- maybe they've been there for a long time or mawb they're completely
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disconnected. do you feel like many of the lawmlawmakers are out of touch r some of them? >> absolutely some of them are out of touch. i won't say all. but some of them are. that's our work. the thing, is we■ç all have something to bring. we all have a skill, a gift, a talent, something to bring. for me i'm going to bring the struggle that black folks and brown folks have been fighting for such a long time, i'm bringing all of this chocolate, all of this blackness, every single struggle i had to the forefront so they understand what has to change. and you're going to hear it from your own colleague. i don't care about a name, a reputation or a title. i don't care if you look at me i'm dirty because i came from-- you know, i came from being hungry. i came from, you know, living on the street. i don't care! give my people what we need. >> trevor: you've been very vocal in talking about what you think joe biden needs to do. one of the issues has been commuting the sentences of federal inmates who are on death row. this has always been a
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contentious issue in america. many have said we don't want the death penalty, we don't want death row. but i agree with you, i do not support death penalty. but i would like to (a lawmaker's point of view, how do you speak to those families who have been the victim of some of these people on death row and say, "here's why this person shouldn't be on death row?" >> you know, i not only empathize with those families. i sympathize with those families as someone who lost a loved one, a very, very close loved one, to an execution-style murder. i absolutely stand with those families. but we cannot continue this cycle of violence and think that we will begin to heal this country. we have to get out of the mindset that that is a way to get justice. there are other ways to get justice. and one-- some of those ways is the work that we're doing right now with legislation saying that we have to make sure that there are resources in our
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communities, we have to make sure that people have and communities have the things that we need to be able to be whole. so if we won't do that work, our work is to build this system, when that's our work, when we're telling our third graders if you don't score this particular number on this particular proficiency test that you maybe have a one in three chance to end up in prison? when we're telling that to our third graders, when that's the mindset of america. then that's a problem we have to deal with. we stand with our families, and we do. but we have to change our thinking and do the real work to fix-- you build people, you build communities. >> trevor: let's talk a little bit about the covid relief bill. $1.9 trillion. that's what joe biden has come out with. it is ambitious, because america is in a desperate place where something ambitious needs to be done. one of the sticking point in
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this bill has been the $15 minimum wage. some people have argued that fighting for a $15 minimum wage is going to cast small businesses, in particular, the opportunity to give people jobs. what do you say to the small business owners who are terrified of the idea of not being able to afford to pay someone? and, also, how do you respond to the worker who says, "hey, i get $12 now and i still want my job. i don't want it lose my job because it's $15." >> you know, in our district locally, we have had small-business owners who decided to take a risk and switch to $15 an hour. this started a few years ago. and they didn't know that they would be able to do it. they didn't know if they would survive. some said, "cori, i was thinking in a year or two years i would start to see some change that it would be roughment. but what actually happened, when they started paying their staff $15 an hour, they saw an uptick. so the productivity increased, and they started making more
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money. they said that was the best thing for them. and not only that, when we think about when you pay people a living wage-- you know, i don't know if you've ever worked-- i've worked for $5.35 an hour and. so i understand. i totally get it. the thing swhen we push something else that i have been pushing, which is medicare for all, and we take away employers from having to pay that part of the health care, and they can take that, take the money they would have been paying into health care, and now they can use that to pay more and to increase the benefits for their staff, that's how we look at it. but for those small businesses that feel like it's going to hurt their business, that's when you call on us. use your lawmakers in that way. let us put together those programs to be able to help you because we cannot look at it like we can't do this because we don't want-- we think what may
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happen. because you know what? there was a day people didn't wear seat belts. we were just driving, and all of a sudden we had to start wearing seat belts and people started to push bag but now we see the benefits of it. there was a day you could smoke anywhere you wanted to smoke and people pushed back and now we see the benefit. we have to look at change being a good thing. >> trevor: yeah, it really is about perception sometimes. it's more about how people perceive a thing than the thing itself. looking at that perception let's talk about one of the issues coming up, and that is the $2,000 checks people have been waiting for and expecting. there are two realities that sort of exist right now. some people say what happened was the democrats fought and argued that, yes, americans should be getting a $2,000 stimulus check, the same as donald trump was saying at the time. republicans said, no, it's too much money. we care about the budget now, which was hypocritical, but fine. $600 was agreed upon.
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and now the biden administration has said $1400 additional will be added which makes up the $2,000. there are many who say you promised us $2,000. we want the $2,000 check. this is going to be a sticky conversation which you know better than anyone, can be used as a conversation about perception. my question to you is what do you think needs to be done? and where do you stand as a lawmaker? >> i'm all for the $2,000 straight out, you know. not a $600 and a 14. you know, i have been advocating, along with several of my colleagues, for $2,000 per month, you know, that's retroactive, back to when this pandemic started. and we want to keep it until-- through the course of this pandemic so that people can get on their feet and start-- and have some stability and sustain. that's what this is about. so we're pushing for monthly checks and it has to be $2,000. >> trevor: obviously a lot of your colleagues are going to say, "cori, where does that
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money come from?" >> look, if we can find money for a wall. if we can find money for so many other things-- look, we have space force now. don't tell me we cannot make sure that the people in our communities can eat. we're talking about people eating. we're talking about children having diapers and milk. we're talking about people being able to keep lights on, to have heat if they need it, or to be able to have cool air if it's hot. that's what we're talking about. we're talking about saving lives. and there is no price to that saving lives, one prkd. but then, also, when we can build a wall? >> trevor: congresswoman cori bush, i could talk to you forever, but i know you have business to get to. thank you so much for taking the time and thank you so much for joining us on the show. >> trevor: that's our show for
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