tv The Daily Show With Trevor Noah Comedy Central February 8, 2021 11:00pm-11:44pm PST
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we figured out your goal. i am going to make you the buffest dude val kilmer has ever seen. >> trevor: hey, what's going on, everybody, i'm trevor noah, this is the daily social distancing show and today is february 89th. which mean-- you only have a few days left to prepare for valentine's day. so why not surprise your partner by doing the most romantic thing you could possibly do during quarantine, book a really nice hotel, and leave them alone for an entire day. anyway on tonight's show, tom brady keeps doing tom brady things. where to go on vacation after you stormed the capitol and the endless scandals of the joe biden presidency. plus' going to be talking to super bowl winner leonard fournette and renowned surgeon and author atul gawande. so let's do this, well could come to the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is
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the daily social distancing show with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with the super bowl. it is the world's championship of a sport only played in america. and yesterday's game was one for the record books. >> this morning tom brady is running out of fingers for his ring, capturing his record 7th super bowl at age 43. >> i think we knew this was going to happen tonight, didn't we? >> the bucs didn't just winnings they trampled last year's champs, the can sags city chiefs 31-9. the weekend also electrifying on stage, singing some of his biggest hits in a slickly produced halftime show. using masked dancers to keep things covid friendly. >> trevor: hell yeah. what a great halftime show. and it looks like the weeknd finally found a use for all that toilet paper he has been hoarding. and how about tom brady winning his 7th super bowl ring. at this rate he will be the
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first play we are a super bowl toe ring, people. i mean at this point tom brady has lead the kind of live that eight year olds nar rate to themselves. the crowd goes wild, tommee wins his 7th super bowl and now is he rich and married to a supermodel and now is he riding a dinosaur. rrrr. >> and look, i know a lot of people don't like tom brady. anyway, let's move on now from the super bowl to the big game in washington. tom the u.s. senate will begin its annual impeachment trial of donald j. trump. and the three possible outcomes, he could be convicted. he could be exonerated or the most likely one, he could commit new kriesms during the trial that he will get impeached for next year. but whatever happens to trump hundreds of his followers are already facing consequences for rioting at the capitol. although at least one of them is getting a chance to cut loose before she might get locked up. >> a woman accused of participating in the deadly
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capitol riot will get to go on vacation later this month. >> the judge in washington d.c. granted jenny cudd's request to travel to mexico. >> the motion was granted and filed yesterday. cudd's lawyers say she had a prepaid weekend retreat for herself and her employees at beckee's flowers to go to riviera maya, mexico. the retreat would reportedly serve as a work-related bonding time for employees and their spouses. >> trevor: oh yeah. insurrection at club med cozumel! honestly, if i were this woman's employee, i would be a little nervous to go on a bonding retreat. i mean these aren't the kind of people i'm putting be a blindfold and going on a hike with, okay, i'm putting pie hands out, closing them, hold on, what am i-- am i strangling nancy pelosi. dammit, not cool, jenny. what i love about this is this woman plans the vacation before she participated in the riot. so in her head she was going to go to washington, overthrow the government and then what, hit
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the beach for two weeks. like how serious of a revolution were you planning, lady? these rioters were all shouting it is 1776 again but none of the fowppedding fathers were like on july 4th we did he claire our independence. then on july 5th we got that beachhouse in cabo. thom as, you in, it's going to be lit, bro. and look obviously i want this woman to be held accountable for her actions but i also kind of want to party with her in mexico. i mean think about it, if she and her friends can turn a bowring election certification vote into this, you best believe that spring preaks are going to be wild. and look i know a lot of people are angry about this story but the law says that if you can post bail and you aren't a flight risk, you can go back to your life until they actually convict of you a crime. and i will be honest, i agree with that concept. no one should sit in a jail cell because they might be a criminal. if anything the problem i have is that people who can't afford bail have to stay in jail. i mean what are the courts scared of.
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no one is easier to keep tabs on than a broke person. you know where a broke person isn't going? mexico. or the movies, or out to dinner. you want to track a broke person, they're at home. and finally some education news. february is black history month. a beautiful time in america when americans celebrate all the black people without died rather than help the black people who are still alive. but now a debate about how to teach black history is causing a bit of a stir in one of america's least black states. >> in utah a school reverses a decision which would have allowed parents to opt out of lessons on black history month. this is happening at a charter school in ogden, utah, initially the school's director says he was asked by several families to opt out and he obliged and sent out a document asking if other parents wanted to do the same thing. but now the school is backtracking after pushback from parents and black history supporters. >> wow. first of all, what an
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embarrassment for the school. if i were them i would try to play the whole thing off as an intentional history lesson. you see parents, you wanted to opt out but you are not allowed to. just like the slaves couldn't. black history plirned. now people are saying that trying to opt out of black history is racist but even more than that, it is stupid. because black history is exciting. it's got racism, war, oppression, dudes with afros in leather jackets. if you have to opt out of something you should opt out of boring shit like trigonometry, you don't need to know that an eyes so lease triangle has four sides, trust me. it is a good thing for school backtrack, because there a slippery slope, if you let kids opt out of black history then you have to let them opt out of white history and then what asian history? and before you know it kids will be showing up like back off, teach, i'm just here for lunch. but let's move on to our main
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story. president joseph ram toesous buyen. he took a break after his day to day presidenting to catch the super bowl from his home in delaware. and if you aren't immediately outraged about that, well you obviously haven't been watching the last 48 hours of conservative news media. >> joe biden is planning to travel across state lines to watch the super bowl despite calls from the cdc not to travel. biden and his wife jill are going to spend the weekend at their delaware home. now this just a few days after the cdc warned americans against traveling this weekend. stressing it could increase their chances of spreading the coronavirus. >> what happened to the suggest suggestion that you shouldn't travel during this covid epidemic. >> he is setting a horrible example, not practicing what he is prepares if he thinks going out and traveling a tht time is putting people at risk, then he is doing that, is he putting thousands and thousands of people at risk by doing this. it is very hint critical.
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>> why does he need to go what is wrong with the white house, what is wrong with spending the weekend in the white house. >> trevor: unbelievable. you are setting a horrible example, joe. if you go to your home in delaware, soon everyone will go to your home in delaware, and then they'll expect snacks, joe. and what are you going to do, buy tortilla chips for 300 million people. there is no way the store has that many so will you have to get those quinoa chips and i know they are better for you but they taste like cardboard, joe. and don't tell me oh but trevor isn't it different because he's the president, and he's flying on air force one. no, what if i fly on air force one right after joe biden, huh? coronavirus can linger for hours, people. and people are saying oh come on, why are you criticizing biden for traveling during the pandemic when donald trump spent every weekend golfing and coughing on the mar-a-lago buffet table and hosting rallies at the same time but that is not the same. done and trump wasn't being a hypocrite because he wanted people to die of covid but it is not surprising that biden pend
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bends the travel rules for himself because he's been president for less than three weeks and already he's had more scandals than we can keep track of. all they my friends, we are going to try. and in our brand new segment joe biden, the worse president in history that we can remember. >> there are two things that are unforgivable for any american politicians. releasing the aliens from area 51 and insulting the troops. and last week bied in's press secretary launched a gratuitous attack on the newest and gravest troops of all. >> white house-- facing criticism for mocking the space force. >> we have the president has made a decision on keeping or keeping the scope of space force. >> wow, space force, it is an interesting question.
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i am happy to check with our space force point of contact, i'm not sure who that is, i will find out and see if we have any update. >> the top republican on the house armed services committee is calling that comment disgraceful and he's asking the white house press secretary jen psaki to apologize. >> she did literally opening mocking a branch there is arrogance, a little condescension as well. a hundred years from now the space force will be one-of-the important parts of our military. >> this is no joke. >> trevor: how dare you, jen psaki. space force is an illustrious branch of the military that was formed an entire year ago because donald trump had a weird sex dream about alf. if you are going to mock space force, maybe, maybe you should mock all the people who were cut in half when neptune stole saturn's rings and threw them at earth. oh wait, that never happened because space force saved us. space force is no joke, okay, this isn't funny, america is sending troops to space where they have to poop in a little
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bag. you think that is funny, and if the bag get toos full the poop escapes and they have tho chase the floating poop around the space shut, is that funny? a bunch of guys in uniforms floating around a room trying to gab a poop and their boss opens the dar and saying what is going on, and the poop goes in his mouth, is that a joke to you, do you think any of this shit is funny? huh? insulting the military is bad enough, but before the space force scandal had even died down joe biden took things a step further. this time attacking the honor and decency of our heros in law enforcement. >> there is some controversy over comments that the new president made about fbic agents as a again rallity, he made these commenteds and it is getting reaction. >> they are by and large, the vast, vast majority of the men and women are descent, honorable people. >> what should be taken a which interest that for him to say the vast majority of men and women
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are decent, honorable people. why suddenly they have qualifiers on the arbitration of who is a good guy and who is a bad guy? >> what percentage of people are we talking, are 80% good and decent people, 90? can you be more specific? >> yeah, joe biden. be more specific. is it 99 percent, or is it just one bad guy, huh. is it dug? it's stot allly doug, isn't it i knew it you know he cheats on margaret, right. >> but this is yus reprehensible. how dare you say that the vast, vast majority of fbish agents are honorable when clearly it is the vast, vast, vast majority. i mean if you cared about those agents at all, you would have thrown in a third vast and i don't especially understand with this must have been shocking for folks at fox news to hear the president slander the brave members of the corrupt deep state like that. i just hope that decent hon orable scum bags like james
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comey don't hear about this. now look, it is not surprising that joe biden is bringing scandal to the white house. i mean after all his entire campaign was little more than just a front to launder money for his son hunter biden. and just as everyone predicted, hunter is already turning daddy's presidency into his own personal piggy bank. >> so hunter biden has a new book. that is set to come out within his father's first hundred days. >> but critics are pointing out president biden said his family wasn't going it do this. they weren't going to cash in on his presidency. did he write a book for free. >> the real concern is simon and schuster is the company that cancelledded josh hawley and his book. but they're doing the book for hunter biden. >> how will this book be used. will it be kind of a test of loyalty to joe biden to buy the book? will there be mass sales. >> trevor: yes, my friends, welcome to joe biden's america. where if you want a covid
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vaccine, you have to pass a pop quiz on hunter biden's book. what important lesson did hunter biden learn in chapter nine. >> to believe in himself? >> yong wrong, give him covid. and what if you are not getting the vaccine. biden will still know if you bought the book, do you know why? because our book shelves are in the background of all our zoom meetings. joe biden engineered the coronavirus just to make sure we all bought his son's book? i am just asking questions but yes, that's what happened. this is what we are facing, people. scandal after scandal, after scandal. the unfortunate truth is that joe biden's incapable of doing literally anything right as president. in fact, even before his first day in office was finished biden had racked up three major scandals. >> joe biden made fighting the coronavirus pandemic the main staple of his campaign however many have noticed that biden and other high-level officials at his own inauguration were
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failing to socially distance, even wearing their masks was at times optional or not correct. the way they were doing it, when they were within six feet of others. look, there was a lot of hugging go on and these are not necessarily people who share bubbles with johns joe biden hired private security as if he were not satisfied with the national guard and the military. he wanted even more guns at his behest. >> joe biden jumped the gun a little bit today. he got sworn in at 10 minutes to noon. i don't mean to nitpick but it does say noon according to the law. >> trevor: that's right, joe biden stole 10 minutes of donald trump's presidency or as fox news calls it ten-ghazi. with knows what trump could have accomplished in those ten minutes am maybe that is when he was finally going to release his health-care plan. cohave used that time to walk down half a ramp and do you have any idea how much fox news trump could have watched in that 10 minutes. like 10 minutes.
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so those are the many joe biden scandals exposed by the muckraking journalists of conservative media in just his first three weeks in office. and who knows, by this time tomorrow, we could final out that bied enleft the toilet seat up or even worst spoiled the end of wandavision. and when he does, we will be there to tell you all about it. in another episode of joe biden, the worst president in history that we can remember. all right, when we come back, dr. atul gawande tells me what it is is like vaccinating people at fenway park. and super bowl champion leonard fournette is joining us on the show. you don't want to miss it. >> we have a president who is a true leader in my opinion. >> what i happen to believe will be regarded as one of this country's greatest presidents, indeed our greatest. >> this is a man who multitasks, he is smart, he is illinois filled with energy. nobody is a close second. >> he comes from a pretty good gene pool.
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>> have you ever seen a man as-- i am was going to say tough, but strong. >> he already set a standard for presidents that most mortals won't be able to meet. >> you are also one of the most loved and respected. >> i would say that also. >> in history. >> the great lou dobs. >> he said trump is the greatest president since ronald reagan. >> and then i said he's the greatest president ever. >> lou dobbs said he is the greatest of them all. i said does that include washington and lincoln. and he said yes. >> i don't know if he was for real. >> thank you, mr. president. and yes, i was for real. i think he's doing god's work. god sent this president. and i will tell you, the evidence is accumulating mightily. >> how would you grade president trump's leadership, superb, great or very good. >> you were, if i may say, everything as advertised as you ran for president. >> this white house is energized, there is sunshine beaming throughout the place. and on almost every face. >> it will be century after century of veneration for this
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dr. atul gawande. he is a surgeon and a writer for "the new yorker" who is helping vaccine distribution efforts at venues like fenway park. we talked about that, his latest reporting on coronavirus, and what the outlook is. >> dr. atul gawande, welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> great to be here. >> trevor: you are coming to us from fenway park, one of the many stadiums and arenas that are going to be used as vaccination sites around the country. how has the rollout looking. america has been in an interesting space where it seemed like everything is going well, then there weren't enough vaccines and too many in some places, what does it look like on the ground. >> i'm part of the consortium that has been running vaccine operations to scale at gillet stadium, fenway park, reggie louis track and field in roxbury, and those have escalated. we had to start at a few hundred a day, we're tapped 5,000 across all of these sites per day. and that will just keep on scaling upward. and so i think that our problem
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approximate of distribution will gradually get better and better. the two problems remain, number one, you point to supply. how much can vaccine get pumped out. it is a big deal that the johnson & johnson vaccine was submitted for consideration by the fda just last friday. and that will potentially bring more supply. the other big concern is equity. we are not getting to the people of color and the rural settings which have had some. worst rates of spread and bringing those people in, has got to be a high priority. >> let's talk a little bit about your article in "the new yorker." you have written for "the new yorker" for many years and now more than ever people are reading your writing through a different lens. your most recent article is entitled, don't tell me what to do. and it focuses on a really fiery townhall meeting in a small town in north dakota. why did you think it was so
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important to focus on a fight happening in a small town in north dakota and what do you think that tells us about the larger story about america, its vaccine rollout and social distancing rules and masks, et cetera. >> last november in north dakota, that was the site of the, that was the state with the largest rate of infections. the largest rate of hospitalizations and deaths were climbing. and mine us was the hottest of the hot spot in that state. and so what i want to understand is how does a community in the midst of all of this, react and you know, the state had resisted, having any kind of a mask mandate, continued to be battles over the basics and so this city council had a member, her name is carrie evans who said you know what, i'm just sick of it. i'm going to propose a mask pan date. and what i unfolded was this
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debate it was really a reflected a city, a townwide debate over whether the government could tell me what to do when we aren't willing to do it. and would that work. they fought it out. it was closely voted but they did adopt the mask mandate. and that was only the beginning. people ignored the mask mandate after it was adopted. it didn't have any penalties associated but then hospital leaders started coming out and saying our hospital is completely overrun. in place after place as the story like this, where late coming to realize what needs to be done but in the face of what becomes just a terrifying bubble of a viral transmission, carrie evans said it was like steam, you go to a store and you felt like it was this steam, you know there were infected people
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walking around the store and that was, that was the world they were in. >> you are a doctor. and so that means you are in the world of convincing people that medicine can and will help them. you're also in the world of listening to people's concerns about why they are afraid to participate or not participate in taking of medicine or not. there is a more interesting dynamic conversation happening right now in and around america's schools. many parents want their kids to go to school. many teachers are saying we can't go back into the schools unless we are vaccinated. the cdc has come out and said teachers don't need to be vaccinated to be at school with these kids. where do people stand? because it feels like there is so much contradictory information. are the kids a threat to the teacher, can the teachers survive without getting a vaccination, what should we be listening to and what is the voice of reason in the room? >> well, you they, in many way this is what i was trying to unpack even in north dakota. i spend time with people on the other side of the argument. the people who said, what you hear, whether it is teachers
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saying they don't want to go back to school because of fear of the virus or others who say i don't want the to fear the virus, get rid of the masks. what you have ask a tremendous amount of pain. the level of pain that you see in the country, the people i was talking to said they don't want to wear the mask are the people who are feeling like their jobs are disappearing. and they're seeing it happen. they are seeing their kids not being able to go to school. they have seen them lose a whole year of, you know, a real robust education. so i understand where folks are coming from. at the same time this is the battle we have to argue it out. and ultimately, the science is on the side of saying yes, we can return to the school. let's bring testing in and that can help provide reassurance. yes, we can defeat this virus but you have to wear the masks, and that means curtailing things like your favorite bar or being out here at fenway park.
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>> uh-huh. >> but we are making our way through it. it is tremendously hard to keep your foot on the bet all for what are going to be months to come. we are going to splip. we're going to have this battle and debate and it's just going to continue. and this is the nature of our democratic fight. >> yeah, it's going to be a fight it looks like we're still in the middle of it. and hopefully we're not just in the eye of the storm but emerging from it dr. gawande, thank you so much for taking the time and good luck with your efforts out there at fenway. >> thank you. >> trevor: the latest issue of "the new yorker" with dr. gawande's article is available today. all right, when we come back, we'll talk to a man who went from being jobless to wing the super bowl in one season. that's right folks. leonard fowrn eth is joining us leonard fowrn eth is joining us on the show-- fournette is
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tbie. >> trevor: how does it feel, man, 26 years old, your first super bowl appearance and your first super bowl win at the same time. and on top of that, you really played a part in the team. like i have been part of winning teams in high school where i did absolutely nothing and i got it stand up and just celebrate with the team. but you were actually part of the team winning. you understand the gravity of what has happened to you? what is going on in your head. >> i'm going to start, that from the beginning of the season, from being cut from the jacksonville jaguars, it was confusing. i did everything i could to help the organization for my team and just become a better man to help my teammates through. so just from that, and tom brady, reaching out to me and wanting me to join the bucs organization, to help him get a ring. i had an up and down season. it wasn't the best. my stats wasn't as high as they used to be, a thousand yards, as many touchdowns as i wanted.
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it was always up and down for me, but when the playoffs came, a flourished. it is something i can tell my kids, hoy my grandkids how i persevered what i was going through, stay focused and now i'm a world champion. >> trevor: you went from carrying the nickname playoff lenny. and i loved your tweets which was well, i guess now it's going to be. >> super bowl lenny. >> >> trevor: super bowl lenny. i love that because of the pure joy and elation. this has been quite a journey for the team as well. i mean you got blocked from going to the super bowl for the first time. you got stopped by tom brady. and then you fast forward to 2021 and tom brady is there, you know, celebrating with you, tom brady who reached out to you personally. like i want you to play with me. what has that journey been like playing with arguably the greatest quarterback of all time. >> that journey, man, it's been
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crazy. you know. to see why he has the resume he has, and why he's so respected in the game. and his ritual, how he does, in order to win games, big games, to perform under the big lights am i have seen it first hand. i'm in the room with the guy where we meet together. he is calling me at night, asking me what plays i like, what i think about this run or what i think about this pass protection. and just to see how he cares about his teammates, it's amazing, you know. and i see why he is considered one of the best in the game. >> trevor: i would love to know, because i don't get the opportunity to talk to many people who have scored a touchdown in a winning game at the super bowl. i would love to know when you are running into that end zone, when you are running towards it, what is going through your mind? are you thinking or is your brain just going, are your muscles move wog you-- what is happening in your brain in that moment. >> well, i can say it just is the skills that we have, it is a
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god given talent that he gave to me, you know strks everything that is in the game is instinct. you practice so much, the skills, the drills, you work at it so much, it becomes second nature in the game. i say from practicing, dedication, trying to perfect your craft at the end of the day. >> trevor: i feel you there. have i a similar thing sometimes i will go to the kech enand open the fridge, and i think i'm going to get water and i get ice cream and i don't even know how that happened it is just like an instinct, something inside me that et goes me going. >> fla is just a bad habit, you can break a bad hab knit 30 days, you can break a bad habit, try to drink water for at least 20 days straight. >> trevor: let's talk about life now. i mean this morning must have been surreal for you. you know, the night after a victory and then the mork after, the morning you wake up, was that a dream? is it real? you cuz there's a moment of silence. i think you know what i am talking about, is this the moment where wait, has any of this actually happened. what was the feeling with the
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family t could have been one of two mornings t could have been one of those keep quiet, daddy isn't a great mood. just give him hugs or i mean was jubilation, what is that feeling like for the family? >> i mean it was great, man, to have my family come on the field and celebrate with me. as a kid i always dreamed of playing the seuch bowl and now that finally happened and my family was there to witness that, me score a touchdown, getting as much play on the super bowl. for them to come on its field and celebrate that with me, there is no better feeling than that, you know. you understand, all those things i was going through prior before the see sob, my family felt that. they know how much i love football, how much i put my soul, i dedicate myself to this game. and when thingses are going right, aren't going right they feel my pain too. so my family played a big part in my success about keeping my faith, holding my head up. my mother always told me t is
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a-- time for you but at the end you will come out better than ever. that is what happened. >> trevor: i would love to know before i let you go, where the journey goes from here, for many wing the super bowl is the end. you are young, are you amazing, you are great at what you are doing. this is just the beginning, just part of your story, are you also somebody who has been very vocal, people applauded you for being outspoken during the black lives protests, were you leading some of those protests, you have spoken your mind, you are a man of faith, a family man. you have so many things going on. i would love to know what do you dream for going forward. because as i said, this was your dream, so now where do your dreams take from you here? >> i think from here on out, you know, becoming a-- i'm a better pan but being the best that i can be for my kids and for younger guys than me, that look up to me, just showing them that, you know, i'm from new orleans, just showing them things are bigger than new orleans. i have seen, have i been on both sides, not having money, to being rich, so i know how it is. and i just want to give those
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guys hope, the little things can inspire a generation or person, i i want to be that guy, hopefully the greats in the game, i just want to be part of that legacy to say that leonard fournette, my last name helped change the world, become better. >> i tell you this, with a super bowl ring you are on the path to greatness already. super bowl lenny, thank you so much for joining me on the show. i appreciate having you. >> thanks. we will take a quick break but we'll be right back after
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>> trevor: that's our show for tonight, before we go, this month as we know is black history month so please consider supporting barbershop books. they create child friendly reading spaces in barbershops and provide early literacy training to barbers all to inspire black boys and other vulnerable children to read for fun. if are you able to, go to the link below and donate whatever
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you can to help create a future where all children identify as readers and enjoy learning. until tomorrow, stay safe, out there. wear a mask, and remember, if you want to opt out of black history month, you have to say it to a black person's face. good luck. now here it is, your moment of zen. >> come here. she wants to talk to you, just a second. come on up here, girl. you know you are a big-- she wanted to tell you this, thanks for mentioning everything, you know, how she did on her predictions. she told people how to bet, you know, nathan and our office decided he would bet with kansas city, he was a dumb bunny. baby doll can only do what she said in the past and she whispered to me all the time and she says listen to the baby doll.
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oh, yeah. oh. i knew it. i knew it, kevin. soon as i heard that wrapper. you really have to say, "oh yeah" every time you eat a candy bar? i can't help it, oscar. it's just really good. oh, yeah. my hands are tied. all right, not bad at all. i think we can beat 20 minutes though, so let's try again. get it all out now if you have to. it was a raccoon eating a hamburger like a person. you need to stop banging your pen on your desk, or it's going to drive me insane. ok, got it. does anyone have a first aid kit? check out this song i wrote. i'm gonna love you downstairs tonight. listen, i said-- [talking all at once] all right, here we go. everybody get ready in three, two, good luck, one. [theme music]
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