vaccine appointment at a mass vaccination site, regardless of their age or health. >> trevor: hell, yeah, massachusetts! oh! this is just like the club, but the exact opposite. the shots are free, and if you have your grandma with you, you get in right away. but, yes, anyone can get a vaccine in massachusetts, as long as they roll up with someone 75 or over. and you know what this means, right? it means everyone is going to want to make friends with old people in massachusetts now. in fact, they should just make this the next season of "the bachelorette." who will get gladys's syringe? stay tuned to find out. and this could also make for some awkward situations, because this is when the grandkids find out which one is the favorite, or that grandma has been having an affair the pool boy. ( grandma ) "i love you all equally, but javier has abs of steel." and, look, i know there's going to be a run on octogenarians now. but if you ask me, we shouldn't

need any more incentives to hang out with old people. guys, old people are the best. they're full of wisdom, they usually have free candy in their pockets, and they have lots of practical advice about defeating nazis-- which is super useful these days. but america isn't the only country taking creative measures to combat coronavirus. they are also making big changes in france-- a.k.a., "horny belgium"-- where office culture may never be the same. >> employees in france will soon be allowed to eat at their desks at work. currently, the french labor code actually prohibits businesses from eating in areas dedicated to work. the labor minister will be making the changes as part of new covid restrictions as employees return to the office. now it could signal a change for a country with a very strong workplace balance with one french woman telling "the new york times" the amendment is a "catastrophe." >> trevor: i agree. this is a catastrophe for french culture. first, they start eating at

their desks and what's next, working at their desks? but this is kind of wild. apparently, up until now, it had been illegal in france to eat lunch at your desk, because they think if it is allowed, workers are going to be pressured to do it instead of taking a lunch break. not to mention, it's really hard to get fresh ground pepper out of a keyboard. and i'm not going to lie. i was really surprised to learn about this rule. i mean, i would think that if anyone ate while they were working, it would be the french. their main pastry doubles as a phone! ( with french accent ) hello, i need those documents on my desk by the end of the day. uh-huh. uh-huh. uh-huh. okay, magnifique. and, finally, a story about some people in the caribbean who were quarantining a little too well. >> this morning, three cuban nationals are recovering after being stranded on a remote deserted island for five weeks. the married couple and another

man were found on anguilla key, a small island between key west and the bahamas. >> we actually discovered them waving next to their temporary shelter that they had built for themselves. >> pictures show the shelter the three had made, and with little food and water, they reportedly survived off rats and conch shells. >> trevor: good lord, people. that sounds absolutely traumatic. to be on a beach and not be able to instagram it? that is a punishment i wish on nobody. but, yeah, that's right: a married couple and another man were stranded on an island for 33 days. and the person i feel worst for is the "other man, because not only are you the third wheel, but once that rat supply dries up, you know you're first on the menu. why are you guys looking at me like? do you guys want to have a three sell? i mean, something like that. but for real, actually being stranded on a tropical island seems way less fun than they made it seem on "gilligan's

island." i don't remember ever seeing mary ann walking around covered in rat blood. let's move on to our top story, the second impeachment of donald trump, former president and current mar-a-lago toilet clogger. today was day three of the trial, and we'll catch you up on all the latest in another episode of "the magical wonderful road to impeachment." >> that's probably presidential harassment. trevor: today was the final day of the democrats presenting their case against trump. and one of the more shocking revelations of the presentation has been never-before-seen footage of the riot, which showed us just how close some senators came to meeting the world's worst tour group. >> house impeachment managers used graphic new video and audio to recreate moments from the capitol siege, and some of that

footage showed just how close lawmakers and their staffers came to the pro-trump mob that stormed the capitol. >> among the very close calls, this security video showing senate majority leader chuck schumer being escorted by a security detail and then quickly turning around after spotting nearby rioters. another video shows capitolg3 police officer eugene goodman redirecting senator mitt romney away from rioters just down the hall. >> trevor: all right, that is terrifying. there were so many rioters in so many parts of the capitol, that these senators were running around like they were stuck in the weeknd's halftime maze. and you can understand why mitt romney, especially, would be sprinting away from this mob. i mean, these are the people who were chanting "hang mike pence"-- mike pence, the man who has spent the last four years eye-banging the back of trump's head. so to them, mitt romney is basically mormon a.o.c. i mean, i don't know what mitt would have done if he had run into them. he would have had to try to blend in with them. ( rioter )

"let's find these traitors! it's time to kill the deep states! "i heartily agree, my good friends! and, afterwards, let's go to the local confectionary and enjoy some vanilla milkshakes." ( rioter ) what! great idea! this guy's all right!" but this isn't an impeachment trial of a few thousands insane qanon followers. no, this is the impeachment trial of donald trump. so once again today, the democrats focused on how donald trump incited the riot. and what was really helpful was that the rioters themselves provided the evidence. >> even after the attack, the insurrectionists made clear to law enforcement that they were just following president trump's orders. >> we were invited here! they didn't shy away from their crimes because they thought they were following orders of the commander in chief. >> we were invited here! we were invited! hey, we were invited here!

we were invited by the president of the united states! >> there's a (bleep) million of us out there, and we are listening to trump, your boss. >> let's call trump! dude, dude! let's tell trump what's up! we're fighting for trump! >> trevor: guys, come on, don't call trump in the middle of the riot! you just saw him at the rally a couple hours ago! you gotta be chill! you call the morning after the insurrection. you know, you have to play the game! also, how embarrassing is this for trump? even his supporters knew they could call him any time and he wouldn't be busy. but, overall, these videos make it pretty obvious that trump incited the rioters. they were wearing trump hats, carrying trump flags, and they all just watched trump speak, and they were chanting "fight for trump!" even that dog from "blue's clues" is like, "i need a challenge here guys. we all know what this is, right." i mean, if one guy stormed the capitol because he thought you said to, maybe you just can blame him. but if an entire stadium of people misunderstood you in the

exact same way, i don't know, man, that shit's on you. but if there's one theme of this trial, aside from trump being super guilty, it's republican senators not caring that trump is super guilty. >> the new evidence and the dramatic recreation of the january 6 mayhem apparently did very little to sway most of those republican senators, the jurors. >> some of them are explicitly not listening: feet up on desks, they're reading books, they're reading briefing papers on other topics. >> we are seeing more empty seats on the floor of the senate. our colleague was in the senate chamber a few moments ago. he count 15 empty seats. >> a handful of republican senators, including rick scott, tom cotton, marco rubio, barely even looked at the screen, according to reports. and rand paul was looking down at a paper in his lap, where he had begun doodling with a pencil. >> trevor: okay, i'm sorry, that is so disrespectful.

hey, rand paul, why don't you show us what you're doodling instead of paying attention to the presenta-- oh, my god! it's beautiful! wow, you should have been an artist, rand! these senators are a jury for a trial of the president, but they're acting like bored middle-schoolers. what do democrats have to do to make this interesting for them, bring in one of those math teachers who rap everything? ♪ my name is doug and i'm here to say ♪ democracy was threatened in a major way ♪ so, for many republicans, there's nothing that could happen in this trial to change their minds. but if there is a republican who is still struggling to ignore the evidence against trump, good news: we have a product just for you. >> are you a republican senator feeling overwhelmed by overwhelming evidence? introducing impeachpods. the only headphones with evidence-cancelling technology so you can ignore even the

loudest chants of "hang mike pence." impeachpods also drown out that little voice in your head that's disgusted with what you've become. >> you've sold your soul, josh! you're a joke! >> plus, they work great in tv interviews. >> this election was not stolen. do you accept that fact? ♪ ♪ ♪ i think we have some audio problems right there. >> impeachpods, what insurrection? order now and get a free mypillow to sleep through the rest of the trial in comfort. comfort. >> trevor: when we come back, jordan klepper goes back to d.c. to see what happened after the capitol riots. and daniel kaluuya is joining us on the show. so don't go away.

♪ whatever's going on whatever kind of day ♪ ♪ we can always find a way to make room to play ♪ ♪ either i.r.l or half a world away ♪ ♪ that's how we play here's what we know ♪ ♪ life's sweeter together, oreo ♪

i have a convenience store delivery for super grover? ♪ oh, yeah, he saidy hejust put it there.♪ [super grover] ahhhhh ah! perfect timing. get more from your neighborhood. ahhh, so soft! doordash. obsession has many names. this is ours. the new lexus is. all in on the sports sedan. lease the 2021 is 300 for $359 a month for thirty nine months. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. [dog barking] lately i just haven't been feeling quite like myself. ♪ i want to break free ♪ life used to feel... fuller. no no no no no no. there's gotta be a way to get back. ♪ this time i know it's for real ♪ ♪♪ ♪ god knows, ♪ ♪♪ ♪ god knows i want to ♪ doritos, now in 3d.

daily social distancing show." this is the second time that democrats have impeached donald trump, and it raises the question: have they learned any lessons from the first time? to find out, we sent jordan klepper down to washington, d.c. for another episode of "fingers the pulse." ♪ ♪ ♪ >> it's impeachment week, again. so i'm back in washington, d.c.,

where our capitol is a bit different from the last time i was here. it is hard to figure out how to get in towards the capitol. i want to get to the capitol. can i-- >> all the way down to constitution. >> there are miles and miles of fences. do you have to get on parler or something to figure out how to get in there? and the thousands of screaming maga folks is down to two. what do you think of the impeachment? >> it wasn't the president who called the riots. >> what i saw and what there's a lot of evidence showing is many of the initial people who entered the building violently were leftists, antifa. >> i was here. it seemed like a lot of people were trump supporters. 1,000 people broke into the capitol, erected a noose outside and tried to kill the speaker of the house and the vice president. >> i literally think you have added tried to kill all those things and ignored-- >> i gotta show you some videos. >> you want to trade videos. i would love to share videos with you as well.

>> i'm not going to share my number. >> prosecutors want to have a fast-paced cinematic case. >> raskin is aiming for a bloc buflter film. >> yes, impeachment 2 is bigger and louder and more cinematic than the first one because as we all know, when dealing with american audiences stunning imagery goes farther than facts. what are you doing? are you doing the spitting bad boy shot? we always did the bad boy shot. stop it. i understand the democrats- making angle, but how was this blockbuster approach playing with the few locals we could actually find. the first impeachment gets in the weeds, feels a little bit more like a complicated spy drama made by a foreign director. this new one? >> this new one, i think is, just so obvious, you know. it's full of drama and chaos, unfortunately murder and sedition. you know, it has all of the good plot twists of a crime. >> i'm not excited about it because the fact that it had to

happen is because something horrible happened in the first place. >> you're not excited for the new impeachment. would you say you're getting too old for should shit? >> i am bruce willis too old for this shit. >> danny glover. >> you know-- >> "lethal weapon" danny glover. and bruce willis is getting to do or the die hard movies. someone needs to say hasta la vista, maybe. >> as long as there's not a third movie i'll be litter. >> although we never had a villain held accountable. >> i think they had a good opening day with the videos and i think jamie raskin did a good job of explaining that some people were getting ready to hide behind their desks or grab a pair of scissors and go out. >> give us people, people we care about. >> where is jordan peal. >> he is too busy making scary

stuff i can't sit through, because it's scary and i have certain race issues because of my privilege. how does the 2020 lead impeachment manager adam schiff feel the sequel stacks up to the original? >> >> ours might have been more the ken burns documentary. this might be more the hbo miniseries. but we had to try to bring to life events that were happening half a world away in ukraine. here, you don't have to imagine anything because senators were there. the house members were there. we watched it on our television screens. >> why do you think the impeachment is necessary? >> it's absolutely necessary. if he's not disqualified now, if the senators don't follow their oath and don't follow the evidence, and he's acquitted again, and he decides to run again, he will put the country through will had again. >> is accountability really america's thing? i mean that's-- we're better at, like, barbecue and wraparound

sunglasses. >> i think the lack of priority on accountability over the last several years is why we're in this predicament. >> there are critics who say congress should go back to doing more important things, like stopping the space lasers that are causing all the wildfires. should we be focusing on those big, important issues. >> uh... this points to another huge problem, not the lasers. >> the wildfires. >> but the people who believe in that kooky, crazy, bat-shit conspiracy theory stuff. they're members of congress now. >> how do you convince people who are both witnesses and jurors to a crime that a crime actually occurred? >> the republican party needs to be a party of ideas and ideology again. at the end of the day, what this is really about is can they find the courage to tell their constituents back home that what they were fed by donald trump was a bunch of lies? >> so you're banking on the courage of someone like ted cruz

( laughs ) good luck with that. >> if i was going to bank on, that i would be bankrupt a long time ago. >> i was going to say, he won't even stand up for his wife, let alone the country. so the final jury is the american people. which in like rotten tomatoes is the critics score versus the audience score. the first impeachment was great, the audience was so-so on it. maybe this one the score pops up and there's a conviction? >> i'm hoping the audience score and the senators' score are in alignment and they both say we never want to see the likes of donald trump in office again. >> so will impeachment two don't rush to judgment day move any senate republicans to convict trump? as i look around our transformed capitol for signs of hope, i know-- know-- no more bad boy shots, okay? no, no! >> trevor: thank you so much for that, jordan. all right, when we come back, daniel kaluuya tells me about

his brand new movie, "judas and the black messiah." the black messiah." you don't want to incomparable design makes it beautiful. state of the art technology, makes it brilliant. the visionary lexus nx. lease the 2021 nx 300 for $359 a month for thirty six months. experience amazing at your lexus dealer. ♪ whatever's going on whatever kind of day ♪ ♪ we can always find a way to make room to play ♪ ♪ either i.r.l or half a world away ♪ ♪ that's how we play here's what we know ♪ ♪ life's sweeter together, oreo ♪

♪ music playing ♪ ♪ ♪ my life my life, my life, my life ♪ ♪ in the sunshine ♪ ♪ ♪everybody loves the sunshine♪ ♪ ♪ feel, what i feel, when i feel, what i feel ♪ ♪ when i'm feelin' ♪ ♪ in the sunshine ♪ ♪ what's the #1 retinol brand used most by dermatologists? tah-dah, it's neutrogena® with derm-proven retinol, rapid wrinkle repair® smooths the look of fine lines in 1-week, deep wrinkles in 4. so you can kiss wrinkles, and other wrinkle creams goodbye. rapid wrinkle repair® pair with our most concentrated retinol ever for 2x the power.

neutrogena®

♪ ♪ ♪ why do you build me up, build me up... ♪ ♪ buttercup... ♪ ♪ baby just to let me down! ♪ ♪ let me down! ♪ ♪ and mess me around... ♪ ♪ and worst of all, worst of all ♪ if you ride, you get it. geico motorcycle. fifteen minutes could save you fifteen percent or more. ♪we make it easy for you! we can do your taxes virtually. snap a pic and leavecle. the rest to me. we make it easy. experts on your phone. you don't have to leave home. in person or virtually. block has your back.♪

oh wowzers, what a special family! special like my pecan sandies. made with lots of pecans and real madagascar vanilla. only elves can make cookies this good! keebler® - made with magic, loved by families™. hmmm... where to go today? la? vegas? no, the desert., let's listen to this. louder. take these guys? i mean, there's room. maybe next time, fellas. now we're talking. alright. let's. go. earlier today, i spoke with award-winning actor daniel kaluuya. we talked about his brand new film where he portrays black

panther chairman, fred hampton. >> you can't murder liberation. you can murder revolution, but you can't murder revolution. and you can murder freedom fighters but you can't murder freedom! ( cheering ) >> trevor: i am a revolutionary! >> what's happening, trevor, man? what's going on? >> you can kill a revolutionary, but you can't kill a revolution. >> yeah. >> trevor: can i tell you something, daniel kaluuya, that is my favorite-- let me tell you something, man, it has been a while since i watched a movie. man, kudos to everyone. kudos to yourself. kudos to to lakeith. kudos to shaka king. if i had the oscars i'd give you the award now. how are you doing, my dude?

>> this press run-- no, i'm good. i'm good. you know when you did something that you're proud of. >> trevor: yeah. >> everyone put everything into that. everyone put everything into that, so i'm feeling good. how are you? i like your hair. >> trevor: i'm ready to join the black panther party. >> i can see you on the front line with that. feed some kids in the breakfast program right now with that. >> trevor: oh, man, this movie, you must be tired, man. you must be running around doing press, because everyone should want to speak to you about this film "judas and the black messiah." look, daniel, you have known for a long time i'm one of your biggest fans, but there are things, even if you love lionel messy, there is still a score, you say how did you do that. that's what i feel like you do with your acting. i know how you act. i love how you act, whether "queen and slim," whether it's "get out," it doesn't matter what it is. but in this film, in "judas and

the black messiah," we see a side the not just the black panther party but fred hampton that i think many people wouldn't know about in american history. tell me a little about the story ask why daniel kaluuya decided i think i can bring this person to life in a way people haven't seen before. >> you know, chairman fred, he was a man of the people, you know. he was in chicago, and he became chairman of the illinois chapter of the black panther party. and they pulled me to the side on the black panther reshoots, ask asked me to be a part of it. i felt honored that they even saw me in that way. they saw it before i saw it. and then, yeah, i just read the script, and i was just like... you know, there's a lot of information about how hoe died, but there's not a lot of information about how remarkably he lived. that's what it is. this guy lived incredibly. you know what i'm saying? >> trevor: right. >> he knew things on a deep,

deep, deep level, and not only knew them, executed them. >> trevor: right. >> the knowledge, and he had original thoughts, and then he did something about it in a way that was digest to believe people that were like him. you know, it's like there's so much that has to happen there. and he was 20, 21 for this? and he was-- i say he's a brilliant mind and a brilliant heart. so for that, it's kind of like a way to serve■ç something that ws articulating stuff that you believed but also it's that kind of-- like, it was learning about chairman fred allowed me to grow as a man, you know,. >> trevor: i can only imagine. >> so i look at my preconceptions, look at my fears and hang-ups that i had, and kind of grow in order to kind of occupy his words, you know,. >> trevor: i think preconceptions is the perfect word, because the stories that we've been told about so many historical figures are told by the people who oftentimes either ended their lives prematurely or didn't want them to free the people they were trying to free.

i mean, nelson mandela was labeled as a terrorist. mahatma gandhi was persona nongratta with the british. it doesn't show you-- in this film, these are human beings fighting for their lives and i love how the story talks about how the black panther party joined a coalition of black, white, and hispanic to fight against oppression. >> that was the scariest thing to the powes that be, that chairman fred had the-- the knowledge, the clarity, and the ability to kind of see people from different communities and decided they were more aligned than people would think, especially people they had conflicts with, like the young patriots. there's a scene in the film where we go in there and we're greeted with the confederate flag. even in conflict, chairman fred and the black panther party

found common■ç interests but not the sacrifice of the love of the black community. if you join someone that isn't aligned with you, you feel like you're selling out, you're compromising yourself. that thought wasn't in their mind. it was to bolster the love for the community. they saw that they were-- it was better in solidarity than fragmentation, you know,. >> trevor: i would love to know from your side as daniel, how did you begin to embody fred the way that you did? like, what did you look for in him that helped you bring him to life in this movie? >> you know what it is, trevor. i was kind of-- i was in a space where i would watch his speeches, and be aware of how i was feeling as a result of it. you know what i'm saying? how i was feeling, the mood. and my goal is to occupy his spiritual space, that position. and go i want to move the audience in the way that he is moving me at this moment. i don't really know the words

for that feeling that i felt, but i knew i felt it. and i said i knew i was able to occupy it. i was like, cool, let me go there and have that as my aspiration in terms of this. and that's kind of-- it's kind of like you're a vessel in those situations. in certain scenes you're saying his actual words and you can't help but let the words tell you how to play it, let the words tell you how to be. >> trevor: the voice, talk me through the voice and how important that was. i feel like "get out" was all about the eyes. you made those eyes come alive. it felt like that was the whole story. and it feels like in fred, a lot of fred was in that voice. >> the voice was everything in approaching it. when i started dialecting it with an amazing dialect coach, it was a real challenge. i had to really watch my voice because i'm not classically trained. how i arrived to acting was in a raw, improv way. and i had a tendency when doing

plays go aaaah! and lead with emotion and damage my voice. with this one i couldn't afford to, doing 12-hour days doing speeches. audrey said you should look into a singing coach. and i found an opera singing coach. because i just-- i love the way opera singers commanded the space. and sonically, chairman fred felt like, that how he occupied a room. you know, he just occupied it. and because of the amount i was doing, i needed to engage my diaphragm and condition my vocal chords for those kind of days. i would do gospel songs and songs that felt like chairman fred's speeches. and i was studying cadence. he had a different cadence to when he spoke and a different canneddence to speeches. i was defining those differences and also feeling like the same person. it was kind of like-- there was a kind of-- but, also, for me

what was in the speech patterns was a clue into his thought patterns. >> trevor: having spent all this time embodying the man, researching him, living in him, recreating that history, what do you think some of the misconceptions are that people have about fred hampton that you have learned about him and maybe has changed in your mind as well since taking on this role? >> i was blessed enough that i didn't have any preconceptions about him, you know. and i didn't have any preconceptions about the black panther party. i just understood that other people, in order for-- you know, like the white fear dressed as hate manifested like these people are, like, killing us, they're terrorists. they're like the ku klux klan. and actually i thought these people had incredible, uncompromising love for themselves. and they would guard themselves with guns and guard their community with guns because you're trying to kill us. you know, it's like if you don't protect your family, if a burglar comes into your house

and you don't protect your family, what are you saying about yourself and what are you saying about how you feel about your family? everybody understands that scenario. but i think the black community in america, there's a lot happening, these people occupying their spaces and oppressing these people, and black people around the world, you know. if you don't stand up for yourself, it doesn't make sense. it makes sense to protect yourself. but not only do they protect themselves nape loved themselves. , you know. and the protection was just a manifestation of a form of love, you know. >> trevor: one thing that really stood out to me in this film was realizing how people are connected around the globe without even realizing it. when you watch the story of the black panthers, they were an international organization. they were here, you know, and they were trying to expand in the u.s., but they talked to people from different places around the world and say,"you share a struggle that we share and we want to do this together." how do you think that has factored into, like, how you

play these roles and what you think about it? you know, when you look at that shared experience around the globe-- some people might be like, "daniel kaluuya, you come from england. you drink tea all day and have a good life." sometimes i think there is a disconnect. and the black panthers understood that. we are all black and all experiencing this oppression in a similar but different way. >> i think chairman fred, especially, understood it was an international struggle, you know. and you see in the first speech that he references the mozambique fighters. >> trevor: right, right. >> the struggles in angola. he's connecting the dots. you know, when i was, like, his points of references... and you can go on that kind of rabbit hole and go down there and find out all the stuff that's happening there in terms of how to battle what's happening here and what-- sometimes what pitfalls to look out for. overthrowing, actually you're just replacing what was there with a black face. do you understand?

and he said the issue was capitalism. >> trevor: yes, yes. >> so it's understanding-- they saw it as a bigger-- as a macropoint of view, you know. >> trevor: right. >> and they saw it as this is a western construct-- a western virus. it's like a pandemic, you know, what's happened to black people and the oppression of black people from white fear and white anxiety. >> trevor: i hope that everyone sees the film, and i hope everyone who is voting sees the filma well. it deserves every award possible. thank you for creating. thank you for being here. i love seeing you again my friend. >> love, man, appreciate you, bro. >> trevor: "judas and the black messiah" is in theaters and on hbo max february 12. okay, we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this.

but before we go: remember, this month is black history month, so please consider supporting barbershop books. they create child-friendly reading spaces in barbershops and provide early literacy training to barbers, all to inspire black boys and other vulnerable children to read for fun. stay safe out there, wear a mask, and remember: if you're

over 75 and haven't been vaccinated, hit me up, girl! now, here it is: your moment of zen. >> due to way too much quality time spent this past year. get her the one gift she's been thinking about all year long. ♪ ♪ ♪ the covid vaccine. oh, yeah! spend the day romantically six feet apart, waiting in line. enjoy as the doctor sticks it in. >> oh! >> she'll be begging you for more since it's technically a two-dose vaccine. ♪ ♪ ♪ this year, v-day stands for vaccine. book now. because it takes really long to get an appointment.

♪ i'm goin' down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ goin' down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor!" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪

the taco bell chalupa... so chewy...so flaky... nothing could make it better-

well played bacon, well played. the chalupa just keeps getting better. the bacon club chalupa, now at taco bell. [sfx: bong] [ ominous music plays ]

cartman:another morning waiting for the run-down school bus to take me to the run-down school. but today is the day i finally have the guts to do what i should have done a long time ago. nobody notices what i have in my front pocket -- a little surprise for them all. i prepared for this, but still i wonder, will i have the guts to go through with it? you're damn right i will. are you okay, cartman? yeah, i'm good. how are you, kyle? they're all gonna pay. every day, they pushed me and pushed me, and if it happens again today, it's going to be the last time. we'll find out today at recess, won't we? oh, yes. we'll find out today at recess. hey, eric. i'm not suspended no more. good for you. [ door rattles ] i think someone's in there. no! god damn it, no!