tv The Daily Show With Trevor Noah Comedy Central March 1, 2021 11:00pm-11:44pm PST
11:00 pm
i did, but now it seems infinitely insignificant. jim? oh, right. nah, forget it. he was doing it for his kids, i get it. kids drive us dads crazy. sometimes i feel like they're raising us. am i right? daily social distancing show. today is march 1st, which means it's the first day of women's history month! so all the ladies in the house, let me hear you say yeah. oh, i forgot. there's no one in my house. (begins to cry) there's never anyone in my house! (weeping) anyway, on tonight's show -- andrew cuomo is in trouble again, roy wood jr and jaboukie young-white make money off trump's casino, and the golden globes need a black friend. so let's do this, people! welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch
11:01 pm
somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah! >> trevor: now, usually on a monday show, we like to talk about the big story over the weekend. but this weekend, people, there wasn't one big story. there were like 100! news was popping up faster than coronavirus variants. in fact, there's so much news right now that we don't even have enough time today to cover it all. fortunately, though, not enough time is just enough time for a segment we call "ain't nobody got time for that." ♪♪♪ let's begin with the big entertainment news -- the golden globe's. last night's ceremony was less focused on the awards than who was handing them out. >> the golden gloves live from coast to coast. taking place in two time zones
11:02 pm
with amy poehler in l.a. and tina fey in new york. didn't take long for the duo to address one to have the biggest controversy of this year, that of the 87 voting members of the hollywood press association which runs the globe, there are zero black voters. >> i realize maybe you didn't get the memo because your workplace is the back booth of a french mcdonald's, but you've got to change that. so here's to changing it -- >> the organization vowing to do better. >> we recognize we have our own work to do. like film and television, black representation is vital. we must have black journalists in our organization. >> trevor: yeah, no shit. you know you've got representation problems when the proud boys have more black members than you. basically the hollywood foreign press association was being roasted all night by the hosts, by the presenters, even by themselves. i mean, so the good news is you know they're going to fix the problem because can you imagine them coming back next year and
11:03 pm
being, like, we asked you to work on finding a single black person, if anybody out there knows a single black person, please give us their number. but aside from the no black people controversy, i'm not going to lie, i did enjoy getting to see inside all these celebrities' homes and hands down my favorite house was jeff daniels because, i don't know if you noticed this, but there are, like, five doors in that room. and think about this, we're only seeing one and a half walls. there could easily be ten to 20 more doors. some celebrities spend their money on fancy cars and jewelry, jeff daniels spends his money on doors. i respect the hell out of that. we could spend more time talking about representation at the golden globe's or the amazing actors this year. or sean penn's hair. but we have to talk about the political scandal rocking the country. >> new york governor andrew
11:04 pm
cuomo increasingly under fire tonight, a second woman reportedly coming forward accusing him of sexual harassment. >> the latest allegations from 25-year-old charlotte bennett a former cuomo executive assistant and advisor. she told the niemsz the 65-year-old asked her about her sex life, if age made a difference in relationships and if she had ever been with an older man. at one point she said the governor is fine with anybody above age 22. >> the "times" reported the 67-year-old governor had been lonely during the pandemic and pressed her on who she last hugged saying he couldn't even hug anyone before turning to bennett before asking her who she last heading hugged, saying, no, really hugged anybody. >> she interpreted it as overtures tore sexual relationship. >> the 67-year-old governor releasing a statement that says at work i am playful and make jokes that i think are funny, i
11:05 pm
tease people in what i think is a good natured way. cuomo adding i now understand my interactions may have been sensitive or too personal, i acknowledge some of the things i have said have been misinterpreted as an unwanted flirtation. >> trevor: guys... of course he was being playful. i mean, imagine your much older, politically powerful boss turns to you and says ( menacingly ) -- when was the last time you were really hugged? that's super playful. can't you feel your skin crawling with delight? here's the thing, even if cuomo felt he was being playful, it's still not okay. this is what bosses never seem to understand, you should never be flirtatious with your employees because as a boss you're basically a dragon. no nobody's ever trying to hug a dragon, they're trying to get out of the cave in one piece. >> seriously caitlin, maybe sometime we should go out for a
11:06 pm
coffee, aaahhh! >> trevor: for now, things are looking bad for governor cuomo, he's facing investigations and calls to resign. you know it's not good when you're the person in trouble and you're, like, guys, please, remember all the people in nursing homes i got killed? let's talk about that again, come on, huh? all those people who praised cuomo so highly last year, those people really don't look so smart right now. delete the tapes, delete the tapes, delete them all! it must be so embarrassing! can you imagine if you're one of those people? ha ha ha! just burn them! i don't give a shit, burn them! yeah and cut this part out. now, look, there's a lot more to say about what consciences cuomo should face or how creepy it is he refers to sex as "rarely hugging." but we can't get into all that right now because the president of the united states is dropping bombs. >> new details about the u.s. airstrikes in syria overnight. the first military action taken
11:07 pm
by the biden administration. president biden ordered strikes on an iranian-backed militia compound in eastern syria near the iraqi border. nine buildings desphroid and iraqi officials says one militia member was killed, the strikes retaliation for a rocket attack earlier this month that killed a civilian contractor and wounded a service member and other troops. >> senator kaine protests offensive military action without congressional approving is not constitutional absent extraordinary circumstances, congress must be fully briefed on this matter expeditiously. >> trevor: yes, barely a month into joe biden's presidency and he has already dropped his first bombs on syria. you know, new american presidents bomb the middle east the way new inmates beat the hell out of somebody their first day in the frin yard. i don't get it. america doesn't need to look
11:08 pm
tough. it's not like cabda saw biden bombing syria and were like, all right, got to cancel the invasion. all senators can do after this is com34r5eu7b. it's ridiculous how little powell we are congress halls to actually stop the president from bombing whoever he wants. even a drunk guy in a bar has at least two friends to hold him back. and i don't think it's too much to ask for the u.s. government to have more checks and balances than a mcswiggins. what i find really interesting is when it comes to helping people, like raising the minimum wage or canceling student debt, biden says he respects any tiny senate rules that block him. i can't do it because to have the senate. when it comes to dropping bombs on people, suddenly biden is, like, man, (~bleep~) congress. let's do it and be legends! now look, people, there's a lot to say about how america can't seem to stop fighting in the middle east and about the hypocrisy of bombing syria after condemning trump when he did it. but we don't have time to talk
11:09 pm
about that hypocrisy because there was an even more blatant one just this weekend. >> more on the grizzly 2018 murder of "the washington post" columnist jamal khashoggi, confirming the u.s. assessment that saudi arabia's crown prince mohammed bin salman personally approved the saudi operation to capture or kill khashoggi, a critic of the saudi royal family. >> the president decided to give sawed j crown prince mohammed bin salman a pass, basically no punishment. >> the u.s. says they are recal celebrating the relationship with saudi arabiaia and sanctions against m.b.s. were too somple complicated and could jeopardize u.s. military interests in saudi arabia. >> trevor: well, i certainly hope saudi arabia has learned its lesson, killing journalists will not be tolerated for a few months while i'm running for president and after that it will
11:10 pm
be tolerated -- sorry for raising many i voice. for real, just joking, this is actually really sweet to see. you need to find you someone who forgives you the way america forgives saudi arabia. every fight ends like a romantic comedy, the two standing in the rain -- so you're not mad i killed your journalist? i am mad, saudi arabia! and i can't wait to spend the rest of my life -- forgiving you. ( smooching sounds ) wow, you're really hugging me -- but, hey! i understand where president biden is coming from. he needs saudi arabia's support, or they won't let american soldiers stay there. and america needs those soldiers there to protect america's others soldiers who are there, and those soldiers are there to support saudi arabia, whose support america needs to keep troops there, to protect the troops who are -- wait, this
11:11 pm
doesn't sound right -- let me start over. now, on a normal day, we would spend more time chatting about america's relationship with saudi arabia and how many kill a journalist for free cards they have left but there's no time for that now because there's one story that everybody's talking about and so we need to make time for it. c-pac. the conservative political action conference which is an annual gathering for hard core right wingers. sort of like the golden globe's but for your aunt's facebook group. it began with the organizers begging the audience to wear their masks by trying to appeal to their conservative principles. >> i know this might feel like a downer but we also believe in property rights, and the private hotel like your house get to set its rules. carly, our c-pac director. >> please, everyone in the ballroom, while you're seated, you should be wearing a massing. so if everybody can go ahead and work on that.
11:12 pm
>> you have the right. ( shouting ) >> so thank you all for putting on your masks. i wear a mask in the halls and we're going to comply with their rules. >> trevor: boo! boo! let the free market decide which one of us will decide this pandemic! boo! it is amazing how adamantly some conservatives refuse to ever wear a mask. the only thing that fights to get itself killed so hard is when a dog eats chocolate. these were so terrifying the guy was scared to make the announcement himself -- as conservatives we respect the rights of business -- which means -- carly, i think you wanted to tell them something? but eventually the show got underway and all the big right wing stars were there. south dakota governor christie norm attacked fauci, gates attacked potato head and the
11:13 pm
c.e.o. of goya beans said donald trump is still the "real legitimate and actual president of the united states." he can get away with saying that because what are you going to do? buy generic black beans? after all of that, it was time for ted cruz, texas senator and the warrior version of pee-wee herman and his whole speech really came down to one sentence. >> in the immortal words of william wallace, freedom! ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: yeah. a lot of people don't remember this, but at the end of that scene, brave heart rides his horse straight to cancun. but it makes sense for cruz to quote that movie. a lot of people were quoting hell gibson at c poke, probably. nobody showed up to see ted cruz because the star of the weekend was none other than donald "jobless" trump. if anyone is wondering whether trump is still worshiped by his people, this might answer your question. >> take a look at this, this is
11:14 pm
in the convention center hallways and it is a very large statue of donald trump made of gold. you can see there, he's in a suit as well as an american flag with shorts and certainly has been getting a lot of attention, a lot of people posing with the statue but gives us the better idea of the kind of crowd here at c-pac. >> trevor: holy shit, guys, did you see that thing? ( laughter ) i'm sorry, i'm sorry. like, yeah, yeah, yeah, i get it, it's a golden idol and blasphemous and all that, but why is it wearing flip-flops and holding a magic wand? ( laughter ) i mean, do you know how hard it is to make donald trump look weirder than he already is? like, it doesn't even look like trump. it looks like king midas dry humped a bob's big boys. that statue looks dumb but still everyone at c-pac was excited to take pictures with it, especially yerk -- this is the closest we've ever been in a
11:15 pm
long time, dad! look, i know, i'm just a gold statue, but get the hell away from me you creepy looking freak. now, as exciting as gold plated trump is, the statue was no match for the real thing. everyone hoping trump would come on stage and play his hits definite wily weren't kiss disappointed. >> we have a sick and corrupted electoral process that must be fixed immediately. this election was rigged and the supreme court and others courts didn't want to do anything about it. they didn't have the courage, the supreme court. when you have more votes than people, is that a problem? in pennsylvania, they had hundreds of thousands of more votes than they had people voting. what's that all about? what's that all about? ( shouting ) cheating, they say. yeah, i'd say so. but it's one of those things. but who knows -- who knows, i
11:16 pm
may even decide to beat them for a third time. okay? ( cheers and applause ) beat them for a third time. ( audience chanting ) >> trevor: i've watched c-pac and wandavision this weekend and i'm not sure which characters are living in a more warped reality. trump is always going to insist he won, he's hopeless, i fete that. but for the rest of the conservatives in that room, someone is going to need to step up and have the balls to tell them that their candidate lost and that they need to grow up and accept that. and i think, carly, you were going to tell them that, right? carly? all right, when we come back,
11:17 pm
roy wood, jr. and jaboukie young white look at trump's explosive ccasino in new jersey. don't go away. ♪ hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play ♪ ♪ hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid ♪ ♪ and all that glitters is gold ♪ get 5 boneless wings for $1 with any handcrafted burger. only at applebee's. dear alice, this place is yours now.
11:18 pm
with ait's a handful,burger. but look after it, and it'll feed you forever. and remember, a business is only as good as its people, so treat them well. our job is to plant seeds so our grandkids get to enjoy the fruit. because how we eat today feeds tomorrow. ♪we make it easy for you! we can do your taxes virtually. snap a pic and leave the rest to me. we make it easy. experts on your phone. you don't have to leave home. in person or virtually. block has your back.♪ this beer looks just like... beer. but what if we told you its recipe is over a hundred years old. created in mexico by a german brewmaster. it's not just any beer now, is it? dos equis, a most interesting beer. the 5g google pixel is amazing at streaming videos. it's not just any beer now, is it?
11:19 pm
for example, take this stream here. see how smooth it is. just a smoooooth 5g stream. the 5g google pixel. from $499 majestic mountains... scenic coastal highways... fertile farmlands... there's lots to love about california. so put off those chores and use less energy from 4 to 9 pm when less clean energy is available. because that's power down time.
11:21 pm
electrify you. they grow from our imagination, but they can't be held back. they want to be set free. to make the world more responsible, and even more incredible. ideas start the future, just like that. reese's eggs are back and we hid them somewhere you'll never find... sike! we put them everywhere. grocery stores and supermarkets, gas stations, and chiropractor's offices, bowling alleys, and grocery stores, which we already mentioned... not sorry, reese's. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily social distancing show." two weeks ago, the trump plaza casino was imploded, leaving a large gap on the atlantic city boardwalk. if there's one team that knows how to capitalize on a smoking hole left by donald trump, it's roy wood, jr. and jaboukie young-white, our very own
11:22 pm
property brothas. >> today, we're looking at trump plaza, a grand casino built in 1984 ringly comprised of 614 units on over two acres. it was the shining future donald trump promised atlantic city. >> that's right, and i would say that worked about as well as all of donald trump's promises ( rumbling ) >> but as we always say here at property brothas, one man's rubble is another man's -- %-@. >> trevor: no. %-@. that's not what we say. >> look, i'm just saying the copper is there either way. >> trevor: you got a property, we got a plan. we're the property brothas! >> this gorgeous two-acre plot gives us an opportunity to rival all the beauties of atlantic
11:23 pm
city. >> by building something this community desperately needs, another casino. >> so we met with the chair of city planning board steve young. >> you're silting on a gold mine for decades now. your community's bedrock has been casinos. that's a great investment. >> in the eyes of whom? black and hispanic and people of color, we have not seen that great promise and that gold streak that you're talking about. these keenos, they come here, get a tax break and mostly leave town. so how are we supposed to stabilize our community if the dollars not circulating are staying here. >> all i'm hearing from you is pessimism. we've all seen pictures of atlantic city, bright lights, gold, beautiful boardwalk. >> you haven't seen it from grassroots. we have almost 500 abandoned houses as we speak and not even a decent community center. >> i hear you. our plan will be to open a community center, lounge, nice chairs, bright lights, no
11:24 pm
windows. >> want to keep it fun, don't want to fall asleep, so there's going to be a lot of games, machines with bright blinking lights, a lever they can pull for the physical component of it. >> no, we have enough of all what you just described. it did not work. as a matter of fact, we don't even have a place to be born here. they took the maternity ward away and now you have to go 20 miles out. so can you imagine a woman, pregnant, called the ambulance, have to go 20 miles away to a hospital that was five minutes away. we don't even have a cemetery to be buried. >> if you get pregnant in atlantic city, you can't have the baby in drank city, and if you die in drank city, you can't even be buried in atlantic city? >> yes, that's a fact. >> here's an idea, how hard could it be to put a maternity ward in the casino? we have prenatal care and blackjack. >> maternity wards belong in hospitals. >> what's your plan, then?
11:25 pm
>> let's be creative and work together towards solutions to our problems and build a community. it can be saved. i was able to come up with a plan, dealing with education, health, criminal justice, wealth and poverty. these are things we can do and we made it very clear. >> in our black agenda. >> your what. >> black agenda, we have a black agenda toward solutions. >> that's what you call it. >> yes. >> steve, people -- the word black, sometimes people get scared of it. that's why the hip show on tv is "black-ish." that's how you trick people. maybe yoked call it the "black-ish" agenda, the -- >> the agenda of color. >> the black agenda sounds like what racist say of us behind the backs. they will kick you off the planning board. you have to come up with another
11:26 pm
name. >> they have been trying to kick me often a board a non-paid position because i speak enough about black agenda. >> i think we may have a way to raise the cal tap steve needs for his "black-ish" agenda. it's time for the reveal. so, steve, these sills terchg issues affecting the black community that you want to solve, this is going to be pricey stuff, so we've got to figure out a way to raise capital to address the issues first before we can do anything else. >> we decided the quickest way to get this money, right, would be to rebuild trump plaza exactly how it was, then sell tickets so people can watch it blow up. >> yeah, we could just rebuild it and blow it up again. >> yeah, we could just do that. >> that's a good idea. >> none of that can work right here in atlantic city or anywhere on planet earth. >> steve's right. our plan is yet another real estate gamble stadessent help the black community of atlantic city. >> but it does help the black
11:27 pm
community of the property brothas. good luck, drank city. >> see you at the buffet. >> trevor: thank you so much. when we come back, marlee matlin will be on the show to talk about the new film making major advances in representation for the deaf-blind community. don't want to miss i the 5g google pixel is amazing at streaming videos. for example, take this stream here. see how smooth it is? just a smoooooth 5g stream. the 5g google pixel
11:28 pm
from $499 this beer looks just like... beer. but what if we told you its recipe is over a hundred years old. created in mexico by a german brewmaster. it's not just any beer now, is it? dos equis, a most interesting beer. [dog barking] lately i just haven't been feeling quite like myself. ♪ i want to break free ♪ life used to feel... fuller. no no no no no no. there's gotta be a way to get back. ♪ this time i know it's for real ♪ ♪♪ ♪ god knows, ♪ ♪♪ ♪ god knows i want to ♪ doritos, now in 3d.
11:29 pm
♪we make it easy for you! we can do your taxes virtually. snap a pic and leave the rest to me. we make it easy. experts on your phone. you don't have to leave home. in person or virtually. block has your back.♪ ♪ hey now, you're an all-star, get your game on, go play ♪ ♪ hey now, you're a rock star, get the show on, get paid ♪ ♪ and all that glitters is gold ♪ get 5 boneless wings for $1 with any handcrafted burger. only at applebee's.
11:30 pm
11:31 pm
duh. "the daily social distancing show." earlier today, i spoke with golden globe and oscar winning actor marlee matlin along with interpreter and producer jack jason, we talked about breaking bar yes, sir down in hollywood and what she calls the first authentic representation of the deaf-blind community in the new short film "feeling through." >> this guy's blind and deaf. you've got to tap him and let him know when he gets to 129th . his name is audi. excuse me, sir, could you tap him and let him know when he gets to 129th street? >> sure. >> no, not "sure." he just wants to get home. >> trevor: marlee matlin, welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> i'm so excited. i'm so excited to be with you. well, kind of sort of. we're at a distance, but that's
11:32 pm
okay. >> trevor: i am super excited. i have watched you my entire life. my mom may be a bigger fan of yours than i am but i think we would fight about it. i grew up watching you. i grew up admiring you. in south africa, your shows were huge, and it's interesting because it feels like, in this journey, you know, you sort of come full circle from being the star, from being the person who is getting the deaf community on screen and just as a character, really, you know, where being deaf is just who they are to now getting into the deaf-blind community and telling us another story. let's begin with yours. as somebody who won as many awards as you did, did you think that those awards would still be your record to hold 30-something years later or did you think there would be more deaf or deaf-blind performers also in hollywood? >> well, first of all, you really really made me nervous right now by saying all that stuff because you just said you
11:33 pm
looked up to me all these years when you grew up in south africa and now i'm nervous. okay, fine. thank you. anyway, no, thank you. out otherwise -- likewise, i'm a fan of yours as well and we'll work all this out. >> trevor: thank you. >> i have to say, when i started, i was 19 years old and i had money inkling of how this industry worked. i had no idea about awards and when i got my oscar, actually, i got my oscar and i was nominated for my oscar at the betty ford center. >> trevor: wow. >> i was in rehan and i got nominated there in the middle of the month of rehab, and, of course -- >> trevor: row. >> and then after that, all the other awards came. i got the golden globe the day before i actually went to go to betty ford. i -- you know what, i think it was great that i had no
11:34 pm
expectations, that i had no idea what it all entailed, the oscar race, the golden globe race, the emmy nominations down the road i got, i was so naive, and i think that kept me grounded. but getting to your question, being the fact that i got the oscar, i knew that it was a big deal, and i knew that i had to do a lot of growing up and to tell people this, that we had to make noise, that we had to get people to get work, that we had to make connections in the entertainment business, that we all had to just put ourselves out there. >> trevor: mm-hmm. >> and i think the journey has been long but yet we still have a lot to do. there have been ups and downs along the road, and i think it's all what we anticipated but still we have work to do. >> trevor: there are still many actors that get overlooked because they are deaf or blind and, oftentimes, actors who will
11:35 pm
act deaf or act beeline will be given the roles. i understand there's an element of acting involved and everyone won't be the character that they're playing, but surely there's a special something that people bring to role as somebody who's played these roles, what do you think it adds to the role when you step in as somebody who is deaf or who is blind? >> it's simple, it's authenticity. it's authenticity because we've lived it, we don't have to necessarily add that on top of the acting that we're doing. we know what it's like. we can lend that sense of authenticity. i don't know what it's like to be someone who is deaf-blind, obviously, but a person who is deaf-blind can bring that to the troll. we bring authenticity to the screen, period. you can't create a disability -- it's like putting on a costume, you can't to that. you can't put on a costume. we are not costumes, we who are deaf-blind. that's why i'm trying to create a tidal wave to make news that
11:36 pm
we need to let the community know there are deaf, deaf-blind actors, writers, producers. we're here, hello, and we can do the work, and if you want to see authenticity on the screen, just like you want to hire any actor who feels authentic to the role, just as you would collaborate with any actor, and if you're talking about deaf and deaf-blind, work with us, we can do it. don't underestimate us in the work that we can do. it's just time. it's time to hire more deaf and deaf-blind actors authentically. >> trevor: the idea of underestimating is one that really resonates with me becausism you have been underestimated your entire life and time and time again you've proven people wrong, you've excelled beyond expectations, and, once again, you are in the conversation in a very different way, you know. here we are with a film, a short
11:37 pm
film that has oscar buzz called "feeling through," and it's a coming of age story that's really really beautiful about this young kid who with's homeless in new york city and he encounters a deaf-blind man who is really trying to get home. right now the film has oscar buzz and you can see why. one of the things that again surprised me, it seems obvious now, is that the lead actor had never acted before, was basically discovered and stepped into it, but when you watch it you go, oh, this is phenomenal. >> that's what it's all about, it's awesome. the deiveltd guy robert had never acted before, he was working as a cook in the kitchen at the helen keller center there. they had been on a search for an actor to fill the role and they saw a number of great people, deaf-blind actors, but there was something that was still missing. somebody at the center mentioned robert, and he just fit into the part. that's what happened to me in
11:38 pm
"children of a lesser god," same thing happened to me. i came from nowhere. i was in a little small production in chicago. people were, like, who's that girl in the background? stranger things have happened when it comes to casting. where are you going to find the person that fits the role? so mentioning that, you know, they used an actor that was deaf-blind to pay the role of the deaf-blind character in the film was absolutely perfect. it just fit like a glove. you couldn't have had greater authenticity represented on the screen and that's why i'm so proud of the movie because it's a simple story, two people trying to get home, as you said, and, yet, they come from life with a different lens, and they have different experiences, but it doesn't matter. they're still human beings and they're meeting at this place and they conn connect in the mot profound and unexpected way, and the story works. i mean, they truly are collaborating. it's such a simple story that
11:39 pm
i -- i mean, i just feel it's a lovely story. i'm very very proud to be part of it and i'm really proud to be associated with it. >> trevor: oscar buzz is a wonderful place to be in. you have been there, won an oscar, hopefully you will take home another one. you're always somebody who wants to push for more, who wants to encourage the industry to be wetter, you're encouraging fellow ac tolerance to be better. where does melania trump go from here? >> i'm never going to stop. i love what i do. i love my deaf community. i'm very proud of where i come from, i'm very proud of collaborating with everybody outside our community and creating new things. >> trevor: well, new things are what you have created, fantastic new things are what you have created and as a fan of yours for literally my entire viewing life, i would like to say thank you so much for that and congratulations, i wish you all the best for this film. >> thank you so much. thank you very much. >> trevor: be sure to check out the short film at "feeling
11:41 pm
march is women's history month, so please consider supporting an organization called "she should run." it's a non-partisan non-profit working to increase the number of women considering a run for public office. by supporting she should run, you are helping women from all political leanings, ethnicities sexual identities, and backgrounds to see themselves as future candidates. if you are able to, go to the link below to donate what you can. until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, wear a mask, and remember -- no matter what you think you did wrong, you can always find forgiveness, as long as you control 20 percent of the world's oil. now, here it is -- your moment of zen. >> the c-pac uncanceled kings of comedy are yours to take home! all your favorite on one d.v.d. >> how many liftest does it take
11:42 pm
to screw in a light bubble. >> she was murdered! >> look out mr. potato head. they should just slap a picture of cnn's brian sleetler on the cover of their next potato! >> bring on the classics to watch or destroy, we don't care! >> not funny! jim: ho, ho, look who's back reporting for duty. hey, guys. hey. andy: pam, ah, look what i can do? now that she's no longer pregnant. bam, bam, bam, bam. phyllis: are you glad to be back? yeah. yeah, i mean, i could've used another week, or three. you still had eight weeks more than we did. well, it's not exactly a vacation. angela: hello everyone. hey. remember, little old me. hi. what are you doing here? you just had our baby-- our collective dunder mifflin family baby, four days ago.
11:43 pm
i wanted to come back to work. not everybody needs some long, luxurious, parisian maternity leave. kelly: damn, girl-- what? --your body. angela, you look amazing. really? i feel like this big rhinoceros. anyway, i wanted to thank you guys for covering for me, so i made some treats. i've got brownies and magic cookie bars. oh, angela, those brownies have walnuts in them. and i think kevin is allergic to walnuts. you're-- you're allergic to walnuts, right kevin? extremely, but i'm going to fight through it. ah, it's ok angela. i have mommy brain, too. i don't know what that is, pam. i made a batch with no nuts, special for you, kevin-- right here. when did you find time to do all this? babies sleep a lot, pam, if you feed them enough. brownie, pam? thank you. oh, my gosh. it's really good. i wouldn't know. i'm watching my weight. ugh.
11:44 pm
so you guys, you know what's an even more useful treat is cash. so-- - no. - we wanted to say thank you-- - it's over. no. ok. [music playing] dwight, i have exciting news for you. what? i think you're going to like it. you can't tantalize me. oh, maybe i can. i got an email from corporate that told me that you got a promotion. right? i mean, that's not the kind of thing you want to read quietly at your desk. if you make me a head of sales one more time, i swear-- no, this is legit. you will be assembling a team to go to tallahassee for three weeks to develop and launch a chain of sabre stores. yes. yes. yes. yes. - oh, those are the new ones? yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yes. yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. the schrutes have a word for when everything in a man's life
142 Views
Uploaded by TV Archive on
