oh. they're just regular men. when two gay men have sex, how do they know whose penis will open up to accept the other person's penis? wow. i'm trevor noah, and this is the daily social distancing show. today is monday, march 22nd, which means it's officially spring! in the northern hemisphere! yeah, baby! the sun is shining, the flowers are blooming, and the birds and the bees do that thing that i totally understand, but why don't you tell me what you think it is. because i know what it is. anyway, coming up on tonight's show: the royal family needs some black friends, the ncaa needs some female friends. so let's do this, people! we'll be chatting with my friend, michelle obama. we can legally say she's my friend. yeah, we can? we can't -- so what -- so let's do this, people! welcome to the daily social distancing show.

>> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah. >> trevor: let's kick things off with spring break, the one week a year when college students drink and party. this is now the second year that spring break has fallen during coronavirus, but things are a little different now. at this time last year, many people hadn't started taking the pandemic seriously yet, but this year they've stopped taking the pandemic seriously too soon! >> spring break state of emergency. overnight, more chaos from miami beach, a wild weekend of mostly maskless people packing the streets. police shooting pepper balls to disperse the crowd, setting off a stampede. more than 1,000 arrested since the start of spring break. maskless crowds descended into the entertainment district over the weekend, dancing on cars, drinking in the streets, defying

an 8:00 p.m. curfew issued saturday. >> tourists have been packing this destination since february when ron desantis declared this an oasis of freedom from coronavirus restrictions. >> governor desantis said no masks! >> one guy dressed as a joker climbed on the car with an american flag, tossed dollar bills and declared covid is over. >> covid's over, baby! (~bleep~)! >> trevor: oh, wow! weird as hell. let's be clear here. covered is not over. some random dude can't declare the end of the pandemic by dressing up like the joker and making it rain. only anthony fauci can declare the end of the pandemic by dressing like the joker and making it rain. this is what will happen after

florida's governor called the state a freedom oasis. if i put a starbucks sign above my apartment door, i can't be mad when people show up and try to take a shit in my bathroom. still, no reason you can't celebrate spring break and still wear a mask. it could be part of the fun. think how sexy a wet mask contest could be. we haven't seen mouths in a year, what's under there? mm-mmm! if we learned anything from miami, this is just a preview of how much everyone is going to get loose once the pandemic is truly over. people have been locked up for too long. once it ends, everyone will be drinking, partying, hooking up with everyone. there will be so much it will create the next worldwide virus. yeah. guys will be waking up in bed next to a bat like huh-oh, i think i did it again! but let's move on to this week's big political news -- president raisin biden. he's facing a lot of challenges in his first 100 days -- the

vaccine rollout, the crisis at the border, what happened to ms. frizzle -- whoo! but over the weekend, he faced his biggest challenge yet, staying upright. >> a white house spokesperson is blamed wind gusts for president biden's stumbling three times as he attempted to climb the stairs on to air force one. this happened as the commander-in-chief was boarding the aircraft to fly to georgia, same white house spokesperson added mr. biden is doing "is hundred% fine" and did not require medical attention. ( chuckles ) >> trevor: i'm sorry, guys, i can't believe this happened. the president got knocked over by wind? this is going to be testify first president where the secret service needs to carry around paperweights. hold on, sir, we got you. someone sneezed. why couldn't they just say he tripped? tripping on stairs is a normal thing. you don't need to lie about it. saying you got blown over by the wind, that is so much weirder! it's like if your roommate

walked in on you jerking off and instead of just telling him, you're, like, oh, no, i'm detaching my pennies for the night, i put it away for safekeeping! it's not like this just happened to joe biden. it happens all the time. biden tripped, obama tripped, mike pence tripped. and the reason isn't because they're old, the reason is because they were running up and down stairs. you shouldn't do that. that would never happen in africa. i mean, mostly because our presidents fly commercial and they have to wait for their boring group to be called, but you know what i mean. the point is we don't think about it because we use stairs so much. nobody thinks about it but stairs are basically an obstacle course, you take one wrong step and you're gonna eat shit, and that's one thing -- one thing that my man trump understood. love him or hate him, but you've got to treat stairs with respect. he understood that. you walk up slowly. you hold the banister and you swear to god if he lefts you survive this you will never walk upstairs ever again.

finally, the british royal familiar, aka the world's number one exporter of black daughters in law. the royals have gotten a lot of criticism for some old-fashioned racist attitudes, be uh now they're committing to making a major step into the 20 20th century. >> new this morning, in the aftermath of disturbing claims of racism made by the duke and duchess of sussex, there are now reports that the royal family will soon appoint a diversity chief. yeah, it was during an interview with oprah harry and meg han said an unnamed member to have the royal family raised the issue of how dark their child would be potentially. the birmingham palace reports say plans have been in the works for a diversity czar prior to the explosive interview. >> trevor: okay, i think it's great the royal family is hiring a diversity czar, but you guys don't have to pretend you were already planning on doing this. this isn't a family that cares about diversity. the queen has been in power 70

years b and only ever had one kind of dog. so clearly, the royal family could use help from a diversity czar. they can teach the queen why it was wrong for the one black spice girl to be called scary. you know, they can teach her what bbc really stands for. hell, the only thing they don't need to teach the queen is how to dress for black church. but the big question is how exactly will the diversity czar carry out all these changes is this well, to find out, i'm really excited to find out we have been granted an exclusive interview with the new diversity czar for the royal family. i think we have him on now. hello. >> hello, trevor! or hello trevor ( british accent ) >> trevor: michael costa, you're the queen's diversity czar? how did you get the job? >> prince william and i go way back. the windsers used to hire me to lose to him in tennis. >> trevor: you're a white guy.

why wouldn't the royal family hire someone more diverse for the diversity job? >> well, you know, they thought about it but people were so angry after the whole archie controversy they just decided to make black people happy and pick a white guy. >> trevor: whatever. let's just get into it. what is your plan to make the royal family more accepting of diverts at this? >> well, first off, trevor, people underestimate how diverse the royal family already is. we have welsh people, scottish people, zombies. it's a rainbow over here. >> trevor: none of those actually count. the royal family needs to do a better job of promoting inclusivity among black and brown people. >> way ahead of you, trevor, and we've got a great idea for how to do that. you see, the problem with the british is too many of them are white, so our new idea sf for british to reach out to non-white countries and make them british. boom! instant diversity.

>> trevor: kosta that sounds like colonization. >> partnership. britain gives britains diversity, and teach them critic, an exciting sport. a win-win for everyone. >> trevor: that is definitely colonization. you're talking about restarting the british empire. >> call it whatever you want. this is the only way the royal family will survive. do you want more seasons of "the crown" or not? >> trevor: all right, good luck with your colonization kosta. i really want too see season five. moving on, "march madness" is the fun way to gamble away your stemi. a fair share of upsets like oral roberts making it to the sweet 16 and i'm guessing by his name also third base.

the biggest shocker happened in the weight room. >> the ncaa apologizing after being criticized for the stark difference in the fitness facilities provided to the men and twem competing in the college basketball tournament. oregon sedona prince gave us a glimpse of weight room difference bs in social media video last thursday. >> for the ncaa "march madness" the biggest tournament in college basketball for women, this is our weight room. let me show y'all the men's weight room. >> as you can see, the men were provided with a lot more equipment than the women. it did not take long for the ncaa to make changes, though. >> by saturday the ncaa sharing the new setup for the women, prince thanking everyone who helped. >> guess what, guys? we got a weight room, yeah! >> trevor: damn, that's ice cold because that's not a weight room, that's just the rack of weights that you buy in the beginning of quawrpt and then never use. and honestly, this is surprising because, usually, the ncaa

treats male and female athletes equally. i mean, they 2ke67b89 pay them both the same amount, but to be fair, at least the ncaa made it right. after the uproar, they gave the women the same amenities that the men's weightroom has. more machines, more weights and added the guy who makes way too much noise when he's lifting ( grunting ) >> this is how you know that i'm strong! aaahhh! now, it was upsetting enough when people saw the difference in men's and women's weight rooms, but turns out sexism in the ncaa is a lot of like face tune, once you're aware of it you notice it everywhere. >> eth not just the weight room, the covid tests different for the men's women, the mortgage accurate pwc tests. at the women's the antigen tests.

another look at the "march madness" twitter account, the bio reads the ncaa "march madness" destination for all things division i ncaa men's basketball. no mention of the women's tournament. >> the men have been provided be a brand-new court with "march madness" the huge logo in the middle, and you will see two lines for men and women in three-point shots. a volleyball court on one of the courts, doesn't even look like a naacp game. >> difference in food options and gift bags. >> the men were given a large number of custom items designed for "march madness" while the women's had a few generic items including a 150 piece puzzle and a towel that said ncaa women's basketball, plus an umbrella. >> trevor: a puzzle? that is a trash gift. what's even worse is when you complete it it shows a picture of the men's team enjoying a free steak dinner. seriously, how are you going to

give the players a pozzing? that is not swag, people. when you look at all this together, the differences are so stark it almost seems like less like sexism and more that the ncaa didn't know the women were coming. so bad it seems the women were knocking on the door and the ncaa is scrambling, oh, shit, the ladies are here, do we have anything to give them? i ordered a burger for lunch. chop them up and serve sliders. what else do we have, swag? i think there's an umbrella in the closet. yeah, it will work. clearly, casual sexism pervaded almost every aspect of the players' experience at the tournament. but not just a problem for the players. it's also affecting the coaches. >> there's also an article in the athletic this morning about some of the female coaches working in the tournament, and how the ncaa is basically penalizing them and their teams that they have -- if they have, say, a baby who depends on them for food, that baby counts inside the bubble against the

total that they can bring in, so that coach's team, if they want to feed their child, has to have one less athletic trainer, one less other coach, one less person in the traveling -- >> ridiculous. >> trevor: that is positively ridiculous! no one should be punished for having children. the children are already punishment enough. not to mention asking a coach to choose between her baby and a trainer for the team? i mean that's a really great way to get the rest of the team to hate that baby. you could be getting deep tissue massages right now if it wasn't for little derek ( crying ) i don't know why this seems so hard. there's an obvious solution. have a baby be an assistant coach. they can be crying motivational. ( crying ) i'll win the tournament.

just take a nap! oh, stop crying! the fact is the way the women have been treated during the tournament has been disgraceful. the only silver lining sit made the ncaa's favoritism towards male athletes as blatant and impossible to ignore as the one guy in the gym -- aaahhh! does anyone want to date me now? aaahhh! all right, when we come back, michelle obama will be joining me on the show. yeah. you don't want to miss it.

majestic mountains... scenic coastal highways... fertile farmlands... there's lots to love about california. so put off those chores and use less energy from 4 to 9 pm when less clean energy is available. because that's power down time.

today we have the microsoft surface pro7 and the macbook pro. the surface comes with a pen, and it is touchscreen. mac gave me this little bar, but why can't they just give me a whole touchscreen? the surface pro has a detachable keyboard. now with the mac, you're kind of just stuck with what you got. about the surface, yes you can run your favorite apps on it. it has the power to run all your apps. it is a much better gaming device. i love my games. then there's the price. yeah. lately i just haven't been feeling quite like myself. there's gotta be a way to get back. ♪♪ ♪ i want to break free ♪ ♪♪ doritos, now in 3d. well... things are rough.

oh my goodness. i mean like... the floor is actually lava, rough. i can't bro. - but you're not. - me? - you're a reactor. - uh oh. a mover. a better than what came before you doer. a slayer. a cryer. a let me tell you about this funny thing that happened-er. you are realness and weirdness, chaos and hope. yes! all this talk about good things to come... nah. you're the good thing. ♪♪ "the daily social distancing show." earlier today, i spoke to former first lady michelle obama. we talked about her new netflix

show, changing the conversation around eating healthy, and how the white house years have prepared her for lockdown. michelle obama, welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> it's my first time being on your show. it's just, you know, i'm sad that it's not face to face or in person, but i'm glad to be here. >> trevor: i'm sad, too. but i you're still here. >> okay. >> trevor: i've gotten used to this being here for me. >> okay, all right. >> trevor: so, you know, it's still you. >> it is me. >> trevor: you're going to tell me your personality changes when you're in person. >> no, it does not. maybe i'm more silly in person, but i've gotten silly on, you know, in zoom, too. i can do it both, now. just plain silly. >> trevor: before we get into talking about your projects, let's talk a little bit about that. i would love to know on a person level what your life has felt like since you left the white house, because i remember -- i

mean, and it was one of the fans, maybe because i've also had hair journeys, i remember everyone being just, like, wow, michelle! the afro and the hair, she's got a different swag about her. was there a weight lifted from your shoulders when leaving the white house as first lady. >> absolutely, i mean, for so many reasons. you know, being the first lady and the president, it's a huge responsible, and being the first, you know, we felt a deep responsibility to do it right and to do it better and to be careful with our words, all the things we thought were important, things like thinking about what you say before you say it, you know, um, telling the truth, you know, getting your fact right, all of this. we worried for no reason! we could have done it so differently! it could have been easier! but, no, no, we were doing the traditional thing. so, you know, it was a big

responsibility, a big weight on our shoulders, but it was an honor to serve, and we kept our eye focused on everyday trying to show up right and push the ball forward on the issues that we cared about, but we were also doing it while raising our kids, all right. >> trevor: right. >> so they were ten and seven when we entered. they lived in the white house longer than they lived in any house they've ever lived in. >> trevor: wow. >> so they were growing up right in that spotlight, and, so, we had that pressure of getting through the adolescent years and the teen years and sending a kid to college. >> trevor: right. >> so we were exhausted and stressed because not only are you trying to get it right on the big picture level, but you're trying to get it right as a parent. and now we're on the other end of that, literally on the other end of all of that. and our kids are about to be 23 and 20. our oldest is graduating from college.

they are alive. >> trevor: wow! >> so all of that, you know, being at the end of that part of the journey, you know, i am in a different place. i feel freer, i feel more at peace. i'm also older. so i'm more comfortable -- i'm even more comfortable in my own skin. >> trevor: i can imagine. >> so, yeah, yeah. it was, you know, i mean, living in the white house is like living in a nice older hotel where you can't get out unless you call 20 people. >> trevor: it almost feels like you were living a sort of quarantine life before all of this. >> well, this is what i tell people. this is why we're fine. barack and i are, like, you can't go out just when you want to? >> trevor: yes, it feels like that. >> we have been doing that for eight years. you've got security with you at all times. >> trevor: right. >> you can't make a move, and you have to think about how you're movements impact the rest of the world.

every time we went out, we had to think about it. it's, like, who's going to have to shut down what gate, how is this going to disrupt this whole community because the presidential motorcade is coming through. we have to worry about agents and not doing something that will put them in harm's way. we're good in quarantine. we're, like, welcome to our world, everyone! this is what it's been like. >> trevor: you have been somebody who has been not just an icon but somebody that people have followed so passionately from the beginning. what i loved about reading your book and talking to your husband is that, you know, is getting into the familial side of things, the personal side of things. i've always wanted to know, from your perspective -- because a lot of people may not think of it like this because of the president, but you're the cool one in the relationship, right? ( laughter ) barack was like this, you know, like you say in your book, who is this barack? who is this dude, you know what i mean?

and, yes, he's mr. president, don't get me wrong, but to you he's still barack. is there a part of you when it was done you're reich finally the power balance can go back to what it was. >> well, he's still pretty cool. >> trevor: definitely. it's like a game of chess. you don't want to lose the queen, you know? >> i'm going to use that at dinner tonight. ( laughter ) >> trevor: but what's fun to see is how it feels like you are each other's biggest fans. the way you show your love toward each other, you've never been afraid to do that. at the same time, there's a healthy competitive spirit, whether you're selling books, releasing works on netflix, creating documentaries, is there a little bit of that where you look at your numbers and then you go, barry, you're doing well, but, you know, is there a little bit of that? >> yeah, yeah. mm-hmm. barack is super competitive, so, you know -- and, shoot, i am, too. ( laughter ) so, yeah, there's a little bit of that. i mean, but, you know, you can

do that when you know your partner holds their own. it's a nice funny joke. >> trevor: right. >> if he wrote his book and nobody bought it, we wouldn't be joking about it, right? we would be, like, honey you're doing a great job. oh, yeah, great book, we love it. tell your dad how much you like his book. ( laughter ) but, you know, i mean, he's written, like, a thousand books. he's, like, i've done this before, you're the newbie. >> trevor: yes. >> he fed us on his books for a very long time. so, you know, it's a funny joke when it's, you know -- >> trevor: when it's not true. >> whenneth not fully true. the kids are actually joking. they're talking about how, you know, mom's doing a lot of work out there, dad. you're at home looking kind of cute, you know. they're like you're now the cute one. >> trevor: that is hilarious. you are the cute one, mr. president. >> it's, like, mr. president --

but, anyway... >> trevor: when we come back, more with mrs. obama. more with mrs. obama. you don't want to mise it. doritos 3d are back! what!?

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>> i made a big mistake. >> you made a mistake? >> i was supposed to get my friend cher massey mo some eggs and i thought i was supposed to get them to him tomorrow but he needs them today. so i need you to do me a huge favor. >> we're ready, mrs. o. >> trevor: here's a huge list. i need you to have get every egg on this list for chef. >> no problem. >> you sure you've got this. >> we got it. >> thank you so much, this is such a huge favor. >> come on, let's do it. >> the list! >> the list, the list! ♪♪♪ >> trevor: let's talk a little bit about your new project on netflix. it's a passion of yours we've known from the very beginning and that is eating healthy. you know, america has internationally, you know, established a reputation as being the country where people have some of the most unhealthy choices in how they eat. i remember when i came to

america, i didn't understand it genuinely. i came to america, i ate the way i ate in south africa, did not really care, then i got here and i remember the first time i came, i was traveling around the u.s., and nobody knew me, i was doing any thing, it was around 2010, and i gained, i think it was 18 to 20 pounds in six months, and i didn't realize this was happening to me, and i went back to south africa. in south africa, because there's no body shaming in that way, everyone was, like, trevor, wow, did you eat half of america? what happened to you, trevor? wow! hey, hey, hey, yeah. you know. and it was actually interesting because i didn't think i changed anything. but then i came to realize how hard it is for so many americans to eat healthy, to exist healthy, to be healthy, and that's always been your passion which is part of the show that you have on netflix, "waffles and mochi." the most adorable exploration of eating healthy. please, talk me through why you thought, you know what, this is the avenue i'm going to take to further this message for what

i'm passionate about. >> the co-creators erika thornland and jeremy connor, you know, came up with this idea because, you know, jeremy had young kids and struggled with this as a parent, getting their kids excited about vegetables. so they came up with the idea and presented it to us and kind of proposed would you be in it. and i looked at the concept and thought, this is a no-brainer. i mean, this is what we had been talking about for eight years through "let's move" is that you can have these conversations not making them punitive or not shaming people, but just beginning to introduce positive concepts about what food is, making it fun, making it enjoyable. now, the part that i'm excited about is the work that we're doing through the "pass the love campaign" where we're hoping to do more education around food insecurity and food deserts and

reminding people that there are millions of people in this country that are going hungry even as they sit in communities with food all around them. >> trevor: right, right, right. >> but it's the type of food. so many families don't have access to fresh produce. if they want to buy a bundle of kale, they have to get on a bus or it costs way too much money. >> trevor: yes. >> they don't have the ability to do at-home cooking. the pass the love campaign is designed to raise money to help feed a million families in this country. >> trevor: what i love about "waffles and mochi" is we all grew up watching puppets and cartoons and it's really fun to see these discussions. my favorite episode is whether the tomato is a fruit or vegetable. i've had that fight my entire life. my metric is, is it sweet? it's a fruit. then people want to fight with me. it's fun to engage. i can imagine enjoying that with

kids and having these conversations, you know, because i grew up loving vegetables, and the reason i grew up loving vegetables is because we didn't always have a lot of food and i realized very young that if i could learn to love the things that nobody else wanted, that i would always have more food. all the other kids, they were running for like the meat and the delicious -- and i was, like, i'll take the broccoli, the cauliflower. i learned to love it. on the other side, with pasta love, what i really enjoyed is you're having the conversation about the truth about how difficult it is, you know. a lot of the time, in america, people blame the victim. >> yes. >> trevor: they go, you should be eating healthy! you should be making better choices! and then i remember when i first got to america, i said, how much is an avocado? how much is this? because in south africa, the treat is the mcdonald's. your family can't just buy you that every day. in america, the fast food is

affordable. >> that's how it was for us growing up, you know, so this is also generational. i mean, the whole notion of going out wasn't something that you did. people couldn't afford it and it wasn't available like that. so going to a fast-food place was a treat. but for the most part, being able to afford to live meant you had to cook. that was the cheapest way to -- you bought a whole chicken, you knew how to cut it up, you knew how to dice up some vegetables, you knew how to cook a pot of greens. i mean, thoughts how we all grew up. and it's with this change in sort of mass producing, you know, the quick, easy and understandably, parents struggle with that because everybody is busy now, and we're overworked. so it's easy to pick up, grab something, pop something, to do something processed, and we don't realize that these processed foods are high in sugar and salt in ways that that's the kind of thing that affects you.

it's the content of the food. people think, well, a french fry is a potato, and it's, like, well, you know, if that's all you're eating and it's fried and it's processed, you're getting extra stuff in there. >> trevor: yes. >> so, you know, the key, like you said, is not to shame people, not to blame folks, and that's where it gets personal because people do feel judged and criticized for doing the best that they can. >> trevor: right. >> so that's why we start with kids. it's, like, let's make these conversations fun, again, not a lot of stick, but a whole lot of carrot, which is what we try to do with "let's move." let's not talk about eliminating soda and soda is bad, let's talk about drink more water. if you drink more water, by that very nature you will drink less soda. that doesn't make soda bad, we're just talking about drink a little more water. we learned how to plans that because even in the white house

we got criticized for having those conversations. getting kids to eat healthy was a controversial, and people were, like, how dare she, it's nanny state! ( laughter ) i thought we were, like, on some even -- i was sort of like what? what? so, you know, you had to sort of be really strategic in how you talked about this so that people wouldn't feel like you were judging the very core of who they are, and that's the thing. food is personal, you know. >> trevor: yes. >> and "waffles and mochi" addressed the notion that, you know, cultures are built on the food that they eat. it's love, it's family, however you do it, it is -- it's at the core of who we are. so you've got to be careful not to judge the way people do it, just offer them different approaches, you know. open their minds and starting with kids who will bring their own curiosity, i saw this dish cooked on this show, can we try

it? you notice the cooking is done a lot on hot plates, in toaster ovens, you know. >> trevor: it's accessible. >> it's accessible. and that's for a reason. and the recipes are on the web site along with the pass the love campaign, "waffles and mochi".org. so we're encouraging people to interact with the show through the web site. kids can earn their badges like "waffles and mochi." again, our goal is to make it fun. >> trevor: well, i think you're well on your way to achieving that goal, and i really hope "pasta love" goes from 10 million to 100 million so there's no need to pass more love. michelle obama. thank you for joining us. say hi to the husband. good luck on your journey. >> so good to see you. congratulations on all your good stuff. very proud of you. >> trevor: thank you very much. i appreciate that. don't forget, "waffles and mochi" is available now on netflix. okay, we're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. or tonight, but befoe

go, please consider supporting former first lady michelle obama's "pass the love with waffles + mochi" campaign. they're working to raise awareness of food equity and help bring 1 million meals to families in need. by supporting pass the love, you are helping provide meal kits to families facing food insecurity and spread the joy of cooking with fresh ingredients, just like waffles + mochi on their adventures. if you are able, go to the link below to donate what you can. until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, wear a mask, and remember: please don't run up the stairs, and if you do, film it, so we can make jokes when you fall. now, here it is -- your moment of zen.

>> d.c. would be the only state, the only state without an airport, without a car dealership. >> my friend josie highs criticizes d.c. as not being viable because it doesn't have car dealerships, not true, by the way. >> if there's a car dealership in d.c., i apologize for being wrong. i have no idea where it is. >> turns out, there is a car dealership in district of columbia. >> i will tell you now the only dealership there now is a tesla dealership. dealership. ♪♪♪ to me, the sixers are a five seed, tops. i think they're going to the conference finals. nope. bynum, obvious monster. their three-point shooting, don't even-- i bit my lip at lunch today. sucks. anyway, i just don't see it. the knicks are tough. the nets are tough. kevin: oh, the nets are super tough.

now i have this big bump in my lip that hurts. i hate it. the hawks are terrible. they're always terrible. ok, you need to think about it before you come with the-- whatever. it's not a big deal. you know, i always tell my three-year-old if this is the worst thing that's gonna happen-- you've got to be kidding me! ok! pam! that's it! i'm going home! [theme music] morning, meredith. what? oh, sorry. pam. yikes. jim's been spending a few days a week in philly. and i'm not gonna lie, it's been challenging. yesterday, things took a turn for the worse.

i found out cece has lice. so i was up all night disinfecting every sheet, towel, toy, item of clothing in the entire house. i'm exhausted. but don't tell jim. he has a huge meeting today, under a lot of pressure. and he's doing it all for the family. i am meeting dr. j today, otherwise known as julius erving, famed 76er and my own personal hero. but i have to be careful not to rub it in pam's face because let's be honest, how would i feel if i was at home stuck with the kids while she was go-karting with john stamos? you sound tired. everything ok? pam (on phone): great. everything's great. hey, are you nervous about your big meeting? jim (on phone): uh, a little bit. it's a lot of pressure, you know? but that's what i signed up for, right? jim, limo's here. uh, you know what? i got to hop off because my, uh, taxi is here to take me to the meeting. pam (on phone): oh, call me later.