'cause he is. - i actually do mean marlon wayans, yeah. on, everybody? i'm trevor noah, and this is "the daily social distancing show." today is monday, april 12th, which means it's the first day of ramadan. so ramadan mubarak to all my muslim friends out there. and respect to anyone who can get through a month of fasting in 2021. right now, the world is so stressful, i've given up on keeping track of time by days -- now i just go by the number of oreo sleeves i've eaten. (counting off camera) one two three four five six -- it's monday! atoday is monday. anyway, coming up on tonight's show -- matt gaetz may be venmo-ing his way to prison, dulce sloane finds out what racial slurs you can't use in scrabble anymore, and a police shooting trial is interrupted by a police shooting. so let's do this, people! welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor noah's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is

"the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah! ♪♪♪ >> trevor: let's kick things off with this weekend's sad news for the british royal family. and no they didn't get another black grandchild. i'm talking about the death of prince philip at age 99. as heart broken as i'm sure you were, it was nothing compared to how some people felt. >> for a tribe in the pacific islands, prince philip's death is also difficult. villagers believed him to be a god and he maintained a relationship with them for decades. >> one of a dozen of pacific island nations is a place of mourning for a prince half a world away. ( singing ) for the past 50 years, villagers here have regarded prince philip as a god, and philip, known at times for off-colored remarks and gaffes, maintained a respectful relationship with them over several decades, sending them gifts.

some were even invited for a visit to the u.k. anthropologist us say there was a legend there in the '60s that a pale-skinned son of a mountain god would travel across the seas and marry a rich and powerful woman. villagers would have likely seen pictures of philip and the queen? government offices. somehow the connection stuck. >> trevor: that's right. while to many people prince philip was just that mean dude on the crown, too these pacific islanders, he was literally a god. that may sound silly, but isn't weirder than how the british saw him. oh, my god, these silly villagers, he's not a god, he's a print, which is the only thing we didn't make up. the only thin, he said a lot of racist and zeno xenophobic thins over the years. how do they deal with that in church sundays? we will read from the book of

philip. no not that page. no not that one. straight to commune con. fish and chips for everyone! the thing i found interesting is they chose him for their god because their legend said a god with pale skin would marry a rich woman. and if that's true, goodness go, because i have found a new god for you. you know what's awkward, if prince charles tries to take his dad's place -- now that my father is gone, you will be looking for a new deity. you know, we're good. we're just going to convert to buddhism. thank you, though. political news, matt gaetz, florida congressman and fraternity brother who wants to show you something in his room has been under fire since news broke of him being under investigation over possible sex trafficking. but like a karen in a bath and body workers, he refuses to back down. >> tonight, matt gaetz defiant -- >> i'm built for the battle and not going anywhere.

>> the house ethics committee examining allegations of sexual misconduct, illicit drug use and accusations the congressman may have shared inproipt and explicit images on the house floor. the justice department investigating whether gaetz and joel greenberg paid women allegedly recruited online for sex and travel. >> according to "the daily beast," gaetz sent joel greenberg money in 2018, and greenberg used the same app to send three young women, one who recently turned 18, varying sums of money that amounted to $8,900. greenberg made the payments with the women with the descriptions tuition, school and school. >> trevor: we have to wait for the facts to come in, but you have to agree, this is not a good look for matt gaetz. he venmos $900 to his sleazy friend. then that same friend venmos it to three young women for tuition?

$300 for tuition? yo -- this is how much college education you can afford with $300. welcome, everybody to physics 101. but at the same time, looks like matt gaetz is so stupid that he might have paid girls for sex on venmo. you think you know a guy, then it turns out, you do know him pretty well. the reason i don't think it was for tuition is because he wrote "tuition." people, nobody writes the real thing for a venmo payment, all right. you always write something funny or weird, like for butt medicine. if these guys wanted to hide they were paying for sex, they should have written money for sex. people would have been obviously the money wasn't for sex, it was probably his butt medicine. people don't use words on venmo, they just use emojis.

emojis makes sense if you're trying to cover things up. that's how i got away with clown faced sushi dolphin without the feds ever finding out. checking in on iran, the last country america needs to get tic-tac-toe. iran has been racing to enrich as much uranium as it can while talks over its nuclear program continue. but it just hit a bit of a snag. >> a developing story overseas concerning iran's nuclear program, an incident at one of iran's uranium enrichment sites triggered a power outage and suggestionings israel is behind the saab tank. >> a day after iran started testing its newest most advanced nuclear centrifuge. the sites could be out of business for months. >> iran may be pointing directly at israel, but israel is not officially commentingos of yet on what happened. however, we have seen possible hints in the last 24 hours. israeli media for their part are citing unnamed sources saying it was the israeli massad agency

behind this attack and some comments from israeli officials seem to hint at some sort of involvement. >> trevor: damn! again? they did this again? yo -- how does israel keep wrecking iran's shit like this? they sabotaged the centrifuges, they assassinated scientists, and now they shut down an entire plant? i mean, we know they probably have people on the inside, you don't need to be a genius to figure that out. but now i'm starting to think that iran's entire nuclear program is just israeli spies. i mean, it's probably a giveaway that they gave everyone the day off for passover. probably a sign, right? apparently this blackout was an incredibly complicated operation. you see, what they did was israeli agents took the whole nuclear site and plugged it into the texas power grid. honestly, they may never get it back online. the one silver lining for

iranian nuclear scientists is they can always blame israel if they screw up on the job. you are two hours late for work! but it's not my fault! israel forgot to set my alarm clock! oh, okay, then don't worry about it. and by the way, israel, ate your yogurt from the fridge -- oh, those israelis! while iran's nuclear program may be on the hold, bun thing that's definitely not on hold is the coronavirus, the pandemic that keeps going long after it should, like a zombie on the walking dead or just the walking dead. even as millions of americans are getting vaccinated every day, there are places where coronavirus is still as out of control as a zoom kindergarten, and no state has it worse now than michigan. >> as new cases of covid 19 surge in michigan, state leaders are begging for a surge of vaccines. >> think about surging vaccines in the state of michigan. >> some national health experts are rallying behind them. >> we need to get in the habit of trying to surge resources

into those hot spots. >> and michigan is a hot spot. covid 19 positivity rates haven't been this high here since the start of the pandemic, and hospitalizations are nearing peak levels. >> the biden administration so far sticking to its plan of dolling out vaccines based on population. >> when you take it away from one state, you never know where you're going to have another surge. >> trevor: okay, look, this is a complicated situation. i don't know if the biden administration ice logic makes sense -- you can't move vaccines from other states because they might get a surge? yo, michigan has a surge right now. that's like a rhino on the loose and animal control says, sorry, we can't help you because if we come over there, a hippo might pop up over here, we can't take the risk! the simplest and fairest way to decide where the vaccines should go is you get a giant map of the united states and have dr. fauci throw a darted at it. the way he throws, some doses might finally go to africa.

yes, we did it, africa! and now the c.d.c. is saying instead of more vaccines, what michigan needs is another shutdown. but instead, governor whitmer is just suggesting that people stop gathering in groups and going to restaurants. i know a lot of people are, like, why would you do that, why not do something stronger? in the governor's defense, the last time she tried to mandate safety precautions the state capitol got stormed and crazy people tried to kidnap her. so now i understand why she's going do your own thing, i'm not trying to get killed because you mother (~bleep~) don't want to order takeout. here's why the c.d.c. says more vaccines aren't the solution. if a community gets vaccined up, it will take six weeks before people there have immunity, which means it's far more important for people who are still waiting for the vaccine to just continue wearing masks. and while this should be easy for most people to understand,

well, florida still exists. >> a new study found mask use could save 14,000 lives across the u.s. they say even the vaccinated should wear masks because of new covid strains. >> in florida, defiance in fort lauderdale where crowds in the hundreds gathered as a million mask march burning the fake face masks. spring break celebrations are the factor for more outbreaks. >> trevor: trump support, your get to destroy your mask and increase carbon emissions. according to a new pole, burning pile of masks is now the frontrunner in florida's next senate race. this protest was ridiculous, especially at the end where matt gaetz threw his phone into the fire. weird, why would he -- oh... on the other hand, though, we are talking about florida here. so i'm just impressed they took

off their masks before they lit them on fire. by the way, can you please stop calling your shit million-something march? right? if you're not going to get a million people, don't use the name. what you should do is call it the 12-person march so that when 340 people show up we'll be like damn! look at that turnout! whoo! moving on to the main story, policing in america. we're now entering week three in the trial of minneapolis police officer derek chauvinner to the murder of george floyd. that's just about all you need to know that even as the trial is it going on, protests are raging once again in minneapolis over the killing of another unarmed black man, daunte wright. >> overnight, protests erupted in brooklyn center a suburb of minneapolis after a fatal police shooting of a black man during a traffic stop. the minnesota national guard deployed police deploying tear gas to control crowds.

police were trying to address a driver on an outstanding warrant when the man tried to get back into his vehicle, when people say the officer shot him. >> according to the police chief the officer was attempting to draw her taser but accidentally pulled her gun and fired it. >> trevor: you have got to be (~bleep~) kidding me. a man was killed at a traffic stop because the police officer mixed up their gun and their taser? is that even supposed to be a legitimate excuse? like, we're supposed to watch that and go, okay, one time i used sugar instead of salt so i can relate. i'm not saying tragic mistakes will never happen, but what i am saying is that maybe if the police weren't so quick to draw any weapon, then maybe people wouldn't die because of a mixup from officer erkel over here. don't you find it amazing cops think everything is a gun except their own gun? if you have a cell phone in your hand, oh, that's a gun!

holding a wallet, that's a gun! their own gun? oh, not a gun, not a gun. and even if it was just a mistake, that's not a mistake you just forgive and walk away, especially since you know the people jumping to her defense for using a gun instead of a taser are the same people they want their waiter fired for bringing them a regular coke instead of diet. regardless of the specifics of how it happens, incidents involving police getting out of control with black suspects are still far too common, and you know that because the shooting the minnesota isn't the only example of police brutality people are talking about today. >> developing this morning in the state of virginia, the governor there is calling for an independent investigation after the release of a disturbing police body cam video. it shows officers drawing their guns on an army lieutenant in uniform and pepper spraying him during a traffic stop that took place last december. that army lieutenant says the two officers violated his constitutional rights and now one of those officers has been

fired. >> put your hands out the the window! >> a windsor police officer says in his report he spotted a vehicle with dark tinted windows and no license plate displayed that was eluding police. though a lawsuit says the paper license plate was visible in the rear window to have the new car. nazario admits he drove nearly two minutes with his hazard lights on so he could stop at a well-lit gas station. >> what's going on. >> get out to have the car now. >> nazario, black and latino and wearing a military europe asked why he was detained. >> this is is how i'm treating. >> you're fixing to ride the light things son. >> i'm honestly afraid to get out. >> you should be! get out! >> trevor: officer joe gutierrez pepper sprays nazario in the face. >> that's (~bleep~) messed up. >> trevor: this is it (~bleep~)ed up.

lieutenant nazario had his hands hanging out the window and he still got threatened, pepper sprayed and thrown on the ground, and the whole time, mind you, the whole final, these cops are saying the craziest shit to him. you should be scared! oh, you're fixing to ride the lightning! how the (~bleep~) is that professional? ride the lightning? you're not hyping a ride at six flags, you're dealing with someone's life. how crazy is it, this driver knew to get to a gas station so he would have decent lighting for the encounter. just think about that for a moment. police brutality forced everyday black americans to become lighting experts. yeah, the lighting is great, you will be able to see the cops whip my ass, this is much better. please don't forget, this is how cops treated one of the troops, huh, the troops, while he was wearing the his uniform, not a hoodie, not baggy pants.

so what's the excuse this time? huh? i mean, if a black man in military uniform can't get humane treatment from the police what chance does every other black person in america have? at this point black people should start singing the star-spangled banner when they get pulled over and maybe the cops will be i don't want to pep spray the anthem, what do i do? few if you're surprised a member of the military is having his rights abused, you need to understand the police don't give a shit. they don't care if you're a member of the military or beloved member of the community or recording them, they don't even care if they're recording themselves, and the reason they don't care is they know they're going to get away with it, and until that changes, they're just going to keep not caring. all right, when we come back, dulce sloan finds out if you can use the n-word in scrabble. and miguel is still going us on the show. so don't go away.

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over the past year, seems like every american company has taken steps to advance racial progress, from children's books to pancake stirrups, and now -- sir ups and now a board game. dulce sloan has more. >> scrabble, missing pieces in the airbnb ring. turns out people play it and now they're having drama. >> the north american scrabble association may get rid of offensive terms from official word list. >> they're only getting rid of slurs now? words that could get you kicked off twitter used to help you win a scrabble tournament? i asked tournament player lisa odom why she supported the ban.

>> playing at home i don't think you're as aware the words are allowed, but when you're in a club or tournament situation they're definitely allowed there. everyone has the initial shock and you explain. then i was like why do we have to give them a shock and do they really need to be in the game. >> i know you really want to tame them out, but is it because they're offensive or is it because you're trying to make sure other people don't want to get more points? this is a safe space. >> if they're not there for me, they're not there for you, so you would have to make the next play without it. >> what if only people in the group that the slurs are against play the words. >> no. no, i don't agree. >> what kind of slurs are we talking about? i chatted with will anderson. 2017 north american scrabble champion and nspa veteran. >> so the words we specifically targeted are ones that are racial, ethnic, gender, anything relating to a person's identity.

>> okay, let's take a look at the list. gray beard. isn't that a game of thrones family. >> i think grey beard is an ageist word. >> pepsi, a term for black people? >> it's an offensive word for french canadian people. >> then superbitch, you need to put megabitch on this as well. >> that one, i have no idea why that's here. >> the list is 255 words long and they're so bad we can't even show them to you. wow! people are awful! and it's not surprising which demographic gets the most words. what the hell is a blackamoore. >> archaic word for black person. >> darky, jig abu, mu larno. it's nice to see white people took a lot of time to call black people a lot of different things. what kind of person would play an offensive slur to win a board

game. >> well, in my very, very first tournament, i played the c word against an elderly woman. >> to an 80-year-old woman. >> to a very elderly woman. i had a lot of consonants and scored well and she didn't bat an eye. >> did she play the word micro-pennies after that? ( laughter ) why were all these words used in scrabble tournaments up until the year 2020. >> i don't think anybody approves of the use of slurs to defend or offend other people in the scrabble community. but once you're a scrabble tournament player long enough the definitions almost cease to matter to us at all, it's just the words are playing pieces. >> but if a word is just a word, would someone be so bold to play the n-word when i'm sitting across the table with these tiles in my hand? >> a lot of people felt that's the one we can all agree shouldn't be in there.

if we're doing the wrong thing, we should change it because it's the correct choice for us to do. >> okay, so a ban on the n-word especially seems reasonable, but surprising my some people disagree. like randall kennedy, the author of -- oh, wow, that's bold. okay, so i'm just -- whoo! i'm glad to see you're black. so you disagree with the decision to take the slurs out of tournament play. >> if you're talking about scrabble, you know, what's the purpose of the game? the purpose to have the game is for people to identify words, and there's points attached to identifying the words. well, is the n-word or the s word or the f word, are those words? the answer is, yeah, they're words. well, if they're words, why not use them in this game? >> if you're sitting across from someone playing a nice little game of scrabble on a sunday afternoon and someone laid down the n-word you wouldn't be offended? >> no. if someone was using the infa

now n-word to demean somebody, i would say repress it. but that's not what's going on here. i think we need to be very careful even with the use of the word "use." are they using the word or are they simply reciting somebody else's use of the word? >> you just lawyered me. nah, nah, nah! you just lawyered me! now we're in a court of law and it's like, your honor, customer service for a long time, customer service and lawyering is the same thing dr. kennedy. >> well, one thing that concerns me is actually empowering words that can be used in a hateful way by making them taboo. >> maybe professor kennedy has a point about giving the n-word too much power, but why is a word that invokes centuries of hatred for a point when there are plenty of nonoffensive words

you can use? >> stop! seriously! not funny! >> sorry, carrot top. you're not on the bad list. >> trevor: thank you so much, dulce. when we come back, the incredible miguel will be joining us on the show to talk about his brand-new ep. so sting around.

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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily social distancing show." my guest tonight is grammy award winning artist miguel. we talk about what he's been up to over the last couple of years, his brand-new ep and so much more. miguel. welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> yeah, thanks for having me, man. >> trevor: you be un, you're one of those people who sticks in my memory because you're one of the memories i have pre-pandemic of enjoying life, going out with other human beings, and it's because i saw your performance at coachella. i remember how crazy it was. it was amazing. you were rocking it and we were all outside. you take those things for grand, i was, like, man, there's too many people here. i dream for a day when there will be too many people again. entertaining human beings on stage, what has it been like for you not being on stage for this long? >> it's been such a weird groundhog day, i really thought

i wanted to take a break from touring, and then i felt really responsible when it all happened. we can't! oh, my bad! is this my fault? >> trevor: right. >> now it's definitely something i miss the most. and just also the things that you can't -- you can't convey through a screen, you know, like energy of a crowd is just -- that feeling is unanimous, you know. >> trevor: right,, right. >> it's just hard to capture. but, you know, we're all doing our best and i'm really grateful to see and know our family is okay and to hope the best for anyone who had to deal with the tragedy because there's a lot of tragedy over the last year. >> trevor: you're one of the artists who have inhabited the space that's unique. not every night an artist comes along they create their own nearby and can't be reminded of

somebody else. it's miguel. that's really what it is. for fans of yours like myself, 2017 was the last time we got our dose of miguel. it has been a long, long time since then, especially because to have the pandemic, and now, finally, i'm hearing good news and that is miguel is back in the music. we saw the drop “art dealer chic volume 4”. why did you think now is the right time to drop the music? >> yeah, it's been such a long time, i was trying to figure out what was real to share. that's pretty much what i always start with, and i try my best to have offerings that, you know, reveal something new about me, and as much as i love to have fun and i want to, you know, help add to those moments for other people, i just feel like there's a ton of reality that we're all sort of processing in realtime, and we're seeing how important it is to sort of just be honest. i think that's what gets us to human empathy, honesty.

have so much to do with each other. so i just felt like the best thing i could do, and the best way to be of service was to do what i do best and hopefully give people music that allows them to feel like or reminds him that it's normal and natural to, you know, sort of feel the pressure of society, of social media, to smile in the face of, you know, everything that we're dealing with, when, in reality, there are so many things happening for everyone behind the scenes that we don't share that affect us and makes it a challenge. so just kind of wanted to -- you know, it's really coming from a place of how can i be of service. yeah, i think music is always going to be that first place for me. >> trevor: what's really fascinating about “art dealer chic volume 4” is your e.p.s have felt like a different avenue to express yourselves. what do you think about the e.p.s instead of the albuns

that gives us a taste of the unfiltered miguel? >> i think it's the name “art dealer chic volume 4” and the concept behind it, and that really is about choosing and curating the way that we think or act, the way that we feel and being at the helm of that as opposed to sort of big on auto pilot or coming to my pressure. it's really about the freedom of choice and because that's the premise of the whole e.p. offering, it's just a place that feels like, you know, it's really easy to do. and my fans expects it so it's really beautiful, it's awesome. >> trevor: feels like you're doing everything and comfortable doing everything which is why i enjoy watching you work, whether creating music or working with rihanna, to things like being a mental health advocate. that a few years ago wasn't the sexiest thing in the world but

you have always talked about therapy, whether for couples or individuals. you've always talked about, you know, preserving your mental health. i'd love to know why you felt like as miguel, i'm not going to theig anything ma around mental health going, i will talk to myself about that, but talking about mental health is what i'll talk to everyone about. why tid you feel like it was important to do that? >> rale platform is reaching people, you feel there's an opportunity to help somebody, somewhere. and i guess just not wanting to take that for granted and realize there's a kid like me somewhere that grew up in some neighborhood that's underprivileged like i was or came from a broken family, of mixed heritage, or all the different things you could be because everyone is dealing with something. i would love to be someone reminding me that i have the choice to choose the way that i

see the world, how i interact with to world. you know, the way i learn how to deal with things, you can choose better ways. >> trevor: right. >> that's the thing is that we get operating systems on our phones every two, i don't know, two months now or something like that. you know, what's the personal operating system upgrade? i think the earlier we can instill that in, you know, younger kids or younger people, the more likely they're going to be building and curating their own mind set and hopefully a happier, more fulfilled people. that's the future. so i think about that kind of thing. >> trevor: i appreciate what you speak on, i appreciate the music you put out and you being you. i think it's inspiring to see people who work at being comfortable being themselves because i think it inspires everyone to try and do the same thing. so i'm excited.

thank you for the music. >> u the. >> trevor: whenever we get an “art dealer chic volume 4”, it means a miguel album is coming up. i know you won't say anything but i'm going to assume it. i'll be listening and enjoying. thanks for being on the show. >> i watch you every segment. thank you so much, man, for the information. i much appreciate it, my brother. >> trevor: i appreciate you, my dude. “art dealer chic volume 4” is available now. we'll take a quick break but we'll be right back after this.

and that ending was so intense. i know, i didn't even see it coming. are you gonna watch? eventually! you know the drill. (humming) never fear, girl-who-has-yet-to-watch-her- friends-favorite-shows -and-films-of-the-year, it's time to celebrate the biggest week in television. now you can see these shows. and their unforgettable moments, for free. so you can finally talk about them with your friends. get ready for watchathon week, free starting april 27th. download the xfinity stream app to get ready to watch. >> trevor: well, that's our show for tonight, but before we go -- covid vaccination efforts are underway across the globe, and to do your part, please consider supporting unicef. they're coordinating the delivery of 2 billion covid-19

vaccine doses to more than 180 countries this year, with special attention to low-income countries, humanitarian settings and war zones. by supporting unicef, you are supporting equitable vaccine distribution, testing, and treatments, and you're helping to save lives. please, if you're able to in any way, god to the link below to donate what you can. until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, wear a mask, and remember, instead of using venmo to pay for crimes, try cash. it's like venmo but paper. or even better, don't commit the crime. now here it is, your moment of zen. - good morning, everybody. who would like an authentic new york bagel? hmm?

stanley? - thank you. - oh, no, no, no. i got a pumpernickel just for you. - h and h. you went all the way to new york city to get us bagels? - oh, why, is there a place closer that sells them? - this was really nice, dwight. thanks. - thanks. - oh, don't mention it. you owe me one. you all owe me one. good morning, michael. - good morning, dwight. - hungry? - no. i had a fish stick sandwich. actually, i had two fish stick sandwiches. my girlfriend didn't want hers, because i guess i'm the only aphrodisiac she needs. - fish sticks are not an aaphrodisiac - yeah... - you're thinking of deer penis. - it worked. - regardless, that was over two hours ago, and it is now a scientific fact that you are hungry--bagel? - i don't mind if i do. - okay, i brought cheese too. - i'm taking one for my lady friend. - excellent. - brain food. thank you very much. - okay. you owe me. can't a guy just buy some bagels for his friends so they'll owe him a favor, which he can use to get someone fired who stole a co-manager position from him anymore?

jeez... when did everyone get so cynical? [cheerful music] ♪ ♪ - pam, would you care for a bagel? - oh, no, thank you. - oh, that's right, you're a woman, and you need to refuse food the first time. i'll try again. please, pam, reconsider and have a bagel. - i have an early lunch. michael's been trying to get jim and me to hang out ever since he started dating my mom. i don't know, i really hoped this thing would just die out. but today he's planning a birthday lunch for my mom, and we have to go. no way out. no way out. - these are amazing. you took all these?

- i've always found beauty in uncommon places. homeless people. graffiti photography lets me capture all that. have you ever been photographed before? - just by, like, friends. - well, here's what i've been doing around here. it's for a series on exposure in the workplace. - hoo-hoo. pammy? - hey...hi. happy birthday. - thank you. - girls...there they are. birthday lunch. birthday lunch-- there's no better medicine than birthday lunch. it'll cure all of your, "gee, i don't know if michael should be dating my mother," and fixes all occurrences of, "i don't really see them together." so open wide, pam, and take a big ol' spoonful of birthday lunch medicine. take with food. - pam, aren't you gonna introduce us to michael's girlfriend? - i think you guys all remember my mom from the wedding. - yeah, i think everyone's met helene. - hi. - shall we? - wait a minute, is that another birthday present for me? 'cause you already gave me a necklace.