i'm a freak, baby. i'm a freak. all right, ma. i like that. [laughs] that was the best one. >> trevor: well hey, what is going on, everybody, i'm trevor noah and this is the daily social distancing show. today is wednesday, may 5th. so you know what that means, happy cinqo de mayo. i actually didn't know what cinqo de mayo was until i came to live in america but now i understand that it is a traditional mexican holiday where girls named ashley throw up in the parking lot outside of a chilis. a really beautiful tradition. coming up on tonight's show, we look at the war over teaching racism in america's schools. jaboukie young white helps you adjust to post pandemic life and donald trump has lost yet another court case. >> so let's do this, people. welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is the daily social distancing show with trevor noah.

>> let's kick things off with donald j. trump, former uniterred states president and the reason america will be paying for decades of therapy. it has been five months since trump was indefinitely sus peppedded from facebook. for the minor infraction of trying to overthrow the government, i mean who hasn't done that. but today brought some new parity on where you will and won't be-- clarity on where you will and won't be seeing trump online. >> decision day on a facebook faceoff with the company's independent oversight board opposing upholding the decision to keep president trump off the platform for now. but the board a kind of supreme court for facebook say sts not appropriate to make the ban indefinite giving facebook six months to review its decision. >> donald trump already moving on from the traditional social media sites ahead of the decision. he launched his own new blog called from the desk of done add j-- donald trump, they are fore-- fore moted for tweets.

people can sign up for alerts so they know when the former president writes something. >> trevor: hold up. this deurd has been saying for months that he is going to create a whole new social media platform to rival twitter and facebook and he just ended up making a blog? and not just that, he's called the blog from the desk of donald trump? when we know for a fact that he doesn't spend any time. there you might as well call it from the juice bar of donald trump. but i get it. trump had to do something to distract from the fact that he lost his appeal to get back on facebook. or as he put it, we won this appeal, in a landslide. everyone knows it. so many victories. and look, i get why facebook extended trump's suspension. but you have to admit, it does seem pretty unfair to ban him from a website that began as a way to rate women's looks. oh and just as a side note it is crazy that facebook even has a

supreme court to make these decisions. what is even crazier is mitch mcconnell has already appointed four of its justices. >> if you've got a court, i'm filling it. but let's move on from trump to another unple dictable threat facing man kind, this one courtesy of. >> china. >> scientists are tracking an out of control from china, it rocket, it launched last week, the boosters were supposed to fall into the ocean but fell into earth's orbit, that means the rocket parts which are 98 feet long could fall to earth any day landing anywhere from new york, to beijing to new zealand. >> experts say this is really dangerous. keep in mind this is 20 tons and nothing heavier than ten tons has ever fallen to earth in 30 years. >> trevor: that's right, people. the last object this heavy that fell to earth from space was yo mama.

oh! but seriously though. are you kidding me, china. are you telling me that after i spent a year inside, hiding from coronavirus, now that i can finally go outside i have to watch out for a rocket that could land on my head. this is some final destination bullshit right here. they keep calling this a piece of a rocket, no, i'm sorry, that is a missile. a rocket just because you saide- oops first. and look, hopefully, hopefully all of this will turn out okay and this thing will fall safely into the ocean. although i mean that's just my perspective. i'm pretty sure somewhere out there there is a dolphin that is probably thinking the exact opposite. but of course, the main threat to the planet is still the coronavirus pandemic. now in a sign of progress president biden announced a new goal of getting 70% of american adults vaccinated with at least one shot by the fourth of july. which is a pretty ambitious goal. i mean if biden wants to get

70%, forget releasing fireworks, he's got to release major. celebrate freedom from coronavirus or freedom from your fingers, your choice, america. so if biden gets his wish, the worst of the pandemic may soon be behind us in america. but what is also clear is that the impact of the pandemic is going to stay with us for a really long time. >> it is so long to snow days for new york city students. the department of education released the 2021 to 22 school calender year and the doe says that it will now keep two practices from last year during is he vary weather students will shift to remote learning instead of canceling school. and election day will also be a remote instruction day. >> everybody remembers those snow days when they were a little kid. you go outside. you know, have fun in the snow, whatnot. you can't expect us to be in there on the screen all the time. that's just a little outrageous now. >> trevor: that's right, kids. the bad news is snow days are over. the good news is thanks to

climate change, soon there won't be any more snow. yeah! oh, that's not a good thing. honestly, i always thought it was strange that kids in america got snow days in the first place. i mean it doesn't make any sense. are you just staying home because it is unsafe to go to school. if they don't get you the asbestos will, amber is so mean all the time, and i didn't do anything to her. why does she always say those things. but let's move on now to our main story. according to the internet, winston churchill once said history will be kind to me. i know this because i intend to write it. now i'm not sure that he should have been so confident about how history would, without. because it units out that he never actually said that. but he did say something very similar to us. which makes it more accurate than most posts on the internet. you know, and to be honest, i guess this is something very powerful about having a person having some italicized text next to their face.

but the point about history being written by the winners, is true. i mean just look at the american revolution. america won that war. though history teaches it as a fight for freedom against the tyranny of england. but best believe if england had won the war, well history would be about how they put down a riot but a bunch of cheating thugs. these domestic terrorists threw our tea into boston harbor while dressed as native americans which aside from being criminal is very problematic. >> and if history is taught by the winners, nobody in america is winning more than white people which is why so much of what is in school as been from their point of view. >> african-american history is not taught adequately, what we learned is a white washed history. >> studies found less than 10% of class time is de voted to black history. only 8 percent of seniors can identify slavery as the central

cause of the civil war. >> there is no national standard for what history is taught. standards which outline what students are expected to learn. seven states do not directly mention slavery. and eight do not mention the civil rights movement. only two states mention white supremacy. >> the kids learn that slavery was bad but we ended it. so stuff happened, but martin luther king and rosa parks kind of fixed that. and now look, barack obama, we had a black president, racism is over. we're done. >> trevor: yeah, it is pretty crazy that most students in america are only taught about a handful of important black americans. can you imagine if it were the other way around. welcome, everybody, to white history 101. we start off with thomas jefferson, where it all began. and then well nothing really happened until tom hanks. class dismissed. but yeah, basically america

treats history the way most people treat their browser history. just de heat all the embarrassing stuff and hope no one notices. but the gad news is that as society changes they re-examine their past and ask themselves should we keep telling ourselves what we wish happened or should we understand what actually happened. >> and that's what is happening in american schools right now. >> students are asking their school administrators to incorporate antiracist education into their curriculum. >> they aim to have books written by a person of color and their life struggles a required part of the curriculum. >> in north carolina a committee of social studies educators propose that the term systemic racism should be included in the state's curriculum standards. >> california state board of education has created the facial's first statewide model for ethnic studies burriculum at the high school level education officials say kids do need to learn about discrimination and oppression that text books often overlook. >> a lot of times in school you don't see a big representation of black history.

i see comments all the time saying i learned more on tiktok than i do from my own school. >> trevor: yeah. that is how much education is lacking in america. kids are going to tiktok to learn, which is insane. social media isn't supposed to be a school. it is supposed to be where you post stuff that gets you suspended from school. and i'm not saying you can't learn about history on tiktok. please don't get me wrong. i'm just saying you have to be careful not to mix up history with everything else happening on tiktok. wait, so harriet tubman started the underground railroad and the weight loss dance. pretty dope. now look, re-examining your history is not easy to do, especially if it requires some self-criticism. you know, in many ways, writing history is like a breakup. each person wants to tell the story about how they were the ones who were right and the other person was an as, asshole, it feals better to say she wasn't nice to my family as opposed to she found out about

my secret second wife. and in the same way as american schools are starting to change what they teach about america's history with racism, it's causing a strong reaction from people who aren't comfortable with what their kids are learning. >> there is growing backlash tonight against what critics call the indoctrination of public scal students in an antiwhite curriculum it has to do with the teaching of what is called critical race theory. >> critical race theory teaches people and our children to judge one another not based on the content of their character but solely on the color of their skin. it would have our children growing up hating this country and hating one another within it teaches more or less that america is inherently racing, stating more or less that if you are born white, you are necessarily racist. >> essentially every white person should apologize for being white and what happened 200 plus areas ago. >> we are tired of the continue all drum beat of our educational system as used to program our

kids into thinking that america is a country of hate and division. >> just because i do not want critical race theory taught to my children in school, does not mean that i am a racist, dammit. >> trevor: bravo. tearing up is like a white woman's go to move for getting out of any sticky situation. well, if it got me out of a speeding ticket, let's see if it works on a historical reckoning. look, i get why these parents are upset. i mean they don't want their children learning that white people are inherent leigh racist. but that is not necessarily what teaching about racism does. for example, a big reason why american neighborhoods are segregated today is because historically the government made it almost impossible for black people to try to move into white neighborhoods. it was called red lining. and it was a societial structure that still has racist effects. even if no white people in those

neighborhoods now are personally bigouts. the-- bigout-- bigots, you can look at your history crit clea without believing that you are personally to blame for t a good example is germany, they teach the holocaust in the schools. but little clause isn't walking home from school like oh, mama, ich bin ein nazi, they said i'm hitler and did the same thing as him even though i'm five years old. no, that doesn't happen, because germans understand that we learn from history, to grow from it, not to wallow in it. but you see, what is happening right now is that in america, some people don't understand that. and their hysteria is spilling into actual laws. >> several states including florida, idaho and iowa have worked to ban the 1619 project in critical ayes they're from their core education plans. >> arkansas became the latest state where state agencies are barred from teaching any concepts that the united states is an inherently racist nation.

in louisiana, a republican lawmaker is now under fire for comments he made on the house floor when proposing the theory's elimination from academic curriculum. >> if you are having a discussion on whatever the case may be, on slavery, then you can talk about everything dealing with slavery, the good, the bad, the ugly. >> there is no good to slavery, though. >> well-- then whatever, whatever the case may be. you are right, you are right. i didn't mean to im-- implay that. >> trevor: wow, guys, wow. it is almost like this guy wasn't tsh bsh about i am glad that he recognized how wrong he was. a part of me does wish that he had just kept on digging in. oh really? you think that no good came from slavery? what, i am the only one who blieks the blues, none of you like the blues who is the real racei now, still me? i guess it is still me. and you no he what is really weird about this whole thing?

is how the same people who freak out about cancel culture now want to use pot we are of the government to stop bad ideas from getting into schools. but i guess the solution is if anyone really wants to get antiracism education in schools, well, they should put the curriculum in the mr. potatoe peanuts and that way conservatives will defend that shit to the death. now lack, don't get may wrong. i'm not saying systemic racism is behind all of america's problems, in my opinion, i think a lot more laws are written to protect the upper-class from the lower class. i mean that is why a lot of laws that screw over black people also screw over poor white people. like a lot of counties in america, pull poor people over and ticket them for random things like tail lights or whatever they want to, just to meet their quoteos. but what they won't do is do that kind of thing on wall street. they don't pull people over who have access to lawyers or access to power. no one is frisking down the guy from wall street to check if they have cocaine. they want to go after poor

people and it so happens the easiest way to find poor people in america is to look at the color of their skin. because if they are black, the chances are higher that they are poorer. or look at how it is illegal to jump turn styles in new york. that is targeted toward poor people but it affects black people more because white men can't jump. but look, that is just me. the bigger issue that is being brought up with this controversy is what is the point of teaching history. like what is the actual point. is it to make kids feel good that they live in a perfect country with no problems? or is it to give them an unsparing assessment of how society got where it is so that they have the tooling to change it in a better direction. and i say it should be the batter. because otherwise as a white person once said, those who cannot remember the past are doomed to repeat it.

all right, when we come back, jaboukie young-white will remind you how to eat in restaurants. restaurants what are those, don't go away. that is the place where we put the food in the. >> so recently there has been a ridiculous debate about whether america say racist country. >> they want us to unite behind the idea that america is a racist country. >> many on the left believe that america is an evil racist country. >> that is the messaging at this point, the american people are racist. that is a lie. >> absolutely absurd, liberals. would i racist country have a black history month. watching fox news 358 hours straight and i'm ready to do some fox-splaining. show me in the history books where america has been racist. okay, not the first 98 percent of the back but the end of the book near the glossary. i will tell you what is racist, how come there has never been a white woman on the cover of oprah's magazine. how can america be racist if it is the liberals that hired a

hardworking black woman as their syrup bottle. mar thin luther king, rosa parks, macklemore, if our country is laisist how do you explain that i have been kicked out of-- more than any black person ever has. and i will tell you what, the most racist people are the democrats like joe biden that want to start teaching critical race theory to beautiful public scales. >> critical race theory is spht appropriate for our kids to learn. >> teaching kids to hate their country and to hate each other. >> this revisionist woke curriculum, are you not going to do this to our children. >> you might be wondering what is critical-- all i know is we cannot have critical race theory in our school. hey woke mom, stop canceling things you don't agree with and start canceling things i don't agree with like the 1619 project where you hit the 16 after the 16, 19, what do you have. we need to get back to the tra dritional school subjects, math, river, mateo chond rhea, books not about wizards and nice

things-- instead our children are-- learning that racist, crit cal race theory, should our children not be learning any theory at all. hey einstein get back to me when you figure out the facts of relativity, think about it why do our kids have nap time, so the teachers can below them up. i don't think so principal kaepernick, while the others my child will be citing the pledge of allegiance for 20 minutes straight no blinking, woke history, sober-- where does it end? i will tell you where, with your child getting anticipated to the brain wash and-- university. and what parents want their kid going to princeton. you have to ask yourself, who stands to benefit from this? who stands to benefit from the end of racism. black people, so there you go. so i say thank you to the brave republicans who are not afraid to stand up to the democrats and proclaim that america is not a

racist country. because otherwise our kids are going to be learning this from the extreme left. >> i don't think america is racist. >> no, i don't think america say racist country. racist country. >> anthony fauci is a vega riding a bike should be a really fun experience. we make low maintenance bicycles, for everyday riders. we were coming off a great year, and when the pandemic hit, it just stopped.

we really had to think creatively. teams allowed us to do what we call virtual visits. hey, is that tk? hi, how are you? we're able to see two or three-fold the amount of customers from all over the world. without teams there's no way this would have been possible. i really think it's going to set a standard for retail moving forward. hey. hey. these tostitos habanero chips are spicy. the spiciness is sort of like... ♪ haaatza kaana danada duyun deh! ♪ for me... the spice is kind of like... like this. you've had that for long? couple days. for me it's drama. it's... victor! i'm leaving! for me it's kind of like a... it's a physical... it's deeper... you win. it's that spicy. kate, can you help me up?

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>> it is is one of my favorite things to do with that chicken. and i know it seems easy but it is likely that you haven't eat nen public in over a year. and you might have forgotten some of the subtle differences between eating at a home and eating at a restaurant surrounded by a bunch of judgmental people. that is why i am here to help remind you how to eat in public. tip number one for eating in public, it's all about-- when eating at home you can eat a burritya at home on the couch, or-- but in public they are major faux pass, most restaurants won't let you bring a sex sling into the tiening area, instead use one of these. a chair. the chair was invended in 1972 by musical performing artist chair, and it's been popular in restaurants ever since, you simply put your feet on the floor. pack on the little back rest and your little fudge maker in the middle of the seat and do that

for the entire meal. now i know you might be saying jab kowkee that is now how-- while, are you never going to [bleep] ac slater. ever. which leads me to point number two. now that we know how to sit, let's focus on tip number three, getting are your order ready, ordering food at home is simple, use a delivery app or call a restaurant and scream me hungry boy until they have someone bring you food. but ordering at a restaurant requires interacting with the waiter and sometimes if they are a woman, they are a lady waiter or a laiter. now remember waiters are stranger but it's not like at home. stranger as proaching you at a restaurant is completely normal so when you see them, do not hide and do not spray them with bear mace. do however make friendly conversation with them and if they seem trust worthy do buy molly were them. let's move to our final tip for

eating in pub bick,-- public, don't forget to chew, matching your feet together and done in public making your real-- longer so you can ask other peer hey, how is work going. i recommend following the three z's, bite, your foot until it is a finally ground, breathe at least once in between bites, and bitch, take your time, it's not a race. and that is basically how to eat in public. enjoy your return to restaurants and remember you don't have to pay for meals any more. i'm pretty sure that was in the joe biden corona bill, all right, bye now. [bleep] hmmmm, hmmmm. >> trevor: thank you so much for that, jaboukie, all right when we come back i'll be

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that calls for the champagne of beers. miller high life. crunch-a-tize me, cap'n. avast ye! batten down the berries! aye! aye! cap'n! aye! aye! cap'n! ahaaah! eat the crunch. be the cap'n. up at 2:00am again? tonight, try pure zzzs all night. eat the crunch. unlike other sleep aids, our extended release melatonin helps you sleep longer. and longer. zzzquil pure zzzs all night. fall asleep. stay asleep. ♪ the things, you say ♪ ♪ your purple prose just gives you away ♪ ♪ the things, you say ♪ ♪ you're unbelievable ♪ ♪ ♪ applebee's irresist-a-bowls are back. dig in for just $8.99. daily social distancing show. my guest tonight is jewish resistance fighter and concentration camp survivor

selma van de perre. here to talk about her incredible life and why 80 years after the holocaust, stories from survivors are more important than ever. selma van de perre, welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> you're welcome. >> jordan: you have lived a life that is remarkable, a life filled with triumph, trial, tribulations and you are now telling your story. you have lived as a jewish resistance fighter. you survived a concentration camp. and now on may 5th the netherlands are celebrating 76 years of liberation from the nazi occupation. why do you think may 5th is so important to many people and especially to yourself? >> may the 5th, oh, well, because it is rather good thing to remember because we were freed from german occupation. i know people are celebrating

today but many people lost lives and family. and are not ready to celebrate freedom. i think the day before, yesterday, was very much more important because that was the day of the dead. although today is very important, liberation day. >> trevor: and in your new book my name is selma, you talk about your life. you talk about how you grew up in the netherlands, you talk about how your family weren't even practicing jews. you were just living a normal life and all of a sudden that got turned upside down when the nazis started invading europe. i would love to know what that felt like to you as a person where one day you felt like you were part of a community and a society, and the next thing you knee, you were in danger just because of your family's history. >> although my great grandparents were very religious, but my father was

very great liberal and so i got that from him and we lived among all christian people and just were one of them. so i mean, civilians. and so it was not felt. you knew, my girlfriends knew i was jewish and i knew who was catholic and-- but it didn't make any difference. we were all friends. and that changed when the germans came in. >> trevor: you talk about in the book how your life changed over the course of a few months where in one moment were you a young girl who was 17 years old. and then because of what was happening in the netherlands, the jewish community, you have to come together to try to fight the scourge of the nazis. >> as a young girl who is dying her hair to change how she

looks, as a young girl who is trying to help fellow members of the jewish community with passports and papers and food and transported, what was going through your mind when this was happening? >> we were thinking that the end would come soon. in fact it came later than we thought. but it was said all the time t will only be six months or something. >> trevor: wow. >> don't forget, the netherlands were neutral in the first world war. and the whole population thought that this time we would be neutral as well. and no occupation was considered. so when it did come, it was a great surprise. after a year or so, the-- came in that jews were not allowed in the cinema, and not allowed to visit christian friends any more, et cetera. and so that then i was made to

feel an outsider. a jew. >> trevor: when were you captured by the germans, they forced you to work on an assembly line manufacturing gas masks for the germans. and you talk about how what you would do is leave some of the screws loose so that the gas masks wouldn't work properly. have i two questions about that. firstly, weren't you afraid that you would be caught and secondly, where did you get that idea from? >> well, i was only assembly line and one of the first days i was sitting on this side of the assembly line, the other girls, heati, was her name, became very important in the resistance, she said don't tie the screws too tight, she told me too, so i thought it was wonderful, because someone else was trying to do, not realizing how

dangerous it was, really. we thought oh, we were dutch and we could do anything. and later on when i had my thumb broken and couldn't work on the assembly line for a week, and afterwards, i had to put the gas masks in the box and check them. and of course i knew that the screws were loose, but i still put them in, because they were sent straight to germany and poland for the soldiers. >> trevor: when you look at the world today you were one of the few remaining survivors of that time. many people worry that society will forget that story, as fewer survivors are able to recount what happened to them. those stories will be lost to history and part of the fear is that history will then repeat itself. why do you think it's so important for us to keep on talking about what happens during that time when nazi germany was invading the world. >> because that's why i think

commemorations are so important. because when you commemorate you tell the story and people tell the story. and i firstly go every year back to-- with a group of women and men who have just finished their teachers training. and they tell the children when they become a teacher what is has happened and what they heard. and i said that is why it is good, i do this every year, and have i done this for the last 20 years, by now. and i have now, i often get letters from or emails from these students, some of these students who have become teachers, and who are telling the children. i often wondered how many of them really did something with

this workshop information. but of course, they did. and that's very good to hear. i didn't think the book was going to be important. i didn't think the book was going to be top of the book sellers list. i was very pleased when it was going to be published but never, never in my life thought that it was going to be so read, you know. >> trevor: i think the reason everybody should read the book and i think the reason so many people have read the book is because not only have you lived an unbelievable life through one of the most unbelievable and horrific times, but what you are teaching people about life beyond that is so important. and before i-- before i leave you, you are now 98 years old. and you still live life, you enjoy yourself, you play bridge, i was told that you play golf. i don't know if that is true. so you play golf.

>> until last november. >> trevor: why, so playing golf, playing bridge, living life. i would love to know what inspires you to find your joy and what keeps you going in the worldev ree single day. >> i just enjoy every day. i try to enjoy every day. is i try to, behave and to-- i try to have friends. which i have. and they're very good to me, especially now i'm old. every morning when i wake up i'm glad that i am alive. i'm very much realize the fact that i am alive and many, many, many thousands of people are not, written in the book also in commemoration of all those people who, the resistance fighters and lost their life helping other people to stay

alive. >> trevor: well, i will say this, from my small little world, thank you for inspiring us. thank you for writing the book. thank you for sharing your story and thank you so much for joining my on the show, i hope you get back to your bridge and your friends and continue enjoying every single day, selma van de perre. thank you. >> you're welcome, thank you. >> trevor: don't forget, everybody, my name is selma comes out may 11th and is available for preorder right now. all right, we'll take a quick break but we'll be right back after this. ♪ ♪ look, if your wireless carrier was a guy you'd leave him tomorrow. not very flexible. not great at saving. you deserve better... xfinity mobile. now they have unlimited for just $30 a month... $30. and they're number one in customer satisfaction. his number... delete it. i'm deleting it. so, break free from the big three. xfinity internet customers, take the savings challenge at xfinitymobile.com/mysavings.

or visit and xfinity store to learn how our switch squad makes it easy to switch and save hundreds. show for tonight but before we go, may is jewish american heritage month. so please consider supporting the united states holocaust memorial museum.

they're working to ensure the permanence of holocaust memory, understanding and relevance. by supporting the museum you are helping to create a world in which people confront hate, prevent genocide and promote human dignity. so if you are able to in any bay help then please go to the link below. until tomorrow, stay safe out there. get your vaccine and remember, if you're outside and your nose is runny, you have allergies, if you are outside and your head really hurts, you probably just got hit by a chinese rocket. now here it is, your moment of zen. >> how close are you to getting back in the room? what do you miss most about not being in school. >> i miss obviously seeing my friends and all the after school activities that i had done. and i think that we're very, very close to getting back to school. and i think that the way that our new president is handling things is a very good way. and we would not have gotten to

this if it were still the last president. >> really, that is hard to believe because the last president was saying i want every kid back in school. captioning sponsored by comedy central captioned by media access group at wgbh media access group at wgbh access.wgbh.org captioning made possible by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪( mumbl - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪( mumbl ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪♪