on "and our lapse in candor and judgment. "at this time, we are issuing a full recall "of all sabre gh400 printers. "we will not rest until this problem is solved. there will be no questions." are there any questions? - hey, i appreciate you reading that statement. you looked pretty up there. - that was fun. - i hope your rough patch ends soon. - thanks. today helped. - well, give a shout if i can brighten your life. - okay. hey, you could transfer holly back from nashua. - let me see what i can do. captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com i'm trevor noah, and this is the daily social distancing show. today is monday, may 3rd, which means it's officially teacher appreciation week.

so, because of that, i wanted to take a moment to personally thank the teacher who changed my life... professor charles xavier. when i came to his school, i was just a lost, cocky young kid. but i'll never forget what he taught me -- "trevor, you're not an x-man. getting nosebleeds is not a superpower. and i still remember that lesson to this day. love you professor x! anyway, coming up on tonight's show -- why diamonds are now a guy's best friend, roy wood, jr. tells us about the black royals you've never heard of, and facebook and apple are fighting over your search history. so let's do this, people! welcome to the daily social distancing show. >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah! ♪♪♪ >> trevor: hi, people. let's kick it off with the coronavirus pandemic. it's the reason your grandma keeps saying you filled out

whenever she hugs you. ever since the vaccine came out, americans have been looking forward to the day when the country will achieve herd immunity which is when a disease dies out because enough of the population has been vaccinated or previously infected or covid just doesn't feel safe around them. but now, it seems like people are going to have to wait a long longer than they thought. >> in the fight against covid 19 this, as headline no one wants to see. quote, reaching herd immunity is unlikely in the united states, experts now believe. one plodgist even telling the "new york times," "the virus is unlikely to go away." >> vaccine hesitancy remains a very real issue threatening the country's chances of achieving herd immunity. scientists believe the virus will likely become a manageable threat that will continue to circulate in the united states for years to come still causing hospitalizations and deaths but in much smaller numbers.

>> trevor: honestly, in these divided times, it's great to see all americans come together to fail at something so easily achievable. but thanks to so many people who refuse to take a life saving vaccine, experts now think coronavirus is basely excls bece an antivirus pop-up. if you can't get vaccinated but you haven't yet, this should be the incentive you need because you don't want to be getting krone in a ten years from now. i mean, think about it, not only could you die but you would be getting roasted for being out of date. oh, my god you got covid? that's so chuggy. everyone's dying from snake flu now, aaahhh! and, yes, this is the fault of anti-vaxxers but one thing that isn't helping is the media. the media loves running stories about the few people who are

having adverse reactions to the vaccine. oh, a man got a vaccine now his foot is sore. oh, a woman got a season, now show forget it's thursday. even though those cases are the tiny minority, that's what people want the to hear. local news isn't running stories about how all the people are having a fine time. because that news won't sell. breaking news, i am outside the house of a man who received the vaccine earlier this week and is completely fine. right now, he is in that room eating dinner with his family -- oh, looks like he's seen me, i'm going to have to leave now. but even without herd immiewbt, society is bound to start reopening. so over in the u.k., researchers are trying to figure out what kind of events people can go to% start spreading out of control again, and the way they are trying to figure it out just may be the greatest science experiment of all time.

>> live music is starting to make a comeback in some places, as a way to track coronavirus progress. the english city of liverpool hosted a one-off music festival yesterday to test whether such events spread the virus. about 5,000 people ditched face coverings and social distancing rules to attend the outdoor event, and they just had to test negative for covid first and agree to a follow-up test in five days. data from the festival will be used by the government's research program to help understand the virus on crowds and hopes to get outdoor events back on the calendar this year. >> trevor: oh, yeah! a concert! that's my kind of medical experiment. not louie pass louis pasteur ans with the dog. but people did come down with a

cough. thousands of people showed up to a con cert and the purpose was to see if they would catch covid. which let's be honest, doesn't seem like a real idea, right. seems like something ja rule would do and say, yeah, you can get it, right. fire! a concert is a great idea. not just for covid. you can test all sorts of things. for the effect of constantly dropping the beat. you can finally find out, does that hurt the beat? can the beat feel pain? will the beat be able to go on? what i love the most is how many volunteers they got to submit to medical experimentation just because they wanted to see a concert. you realize this means they could ramp up experiments on everything based on who's performing. can we please take your kidneys? we need to test something. what? no. we'll give you tickets to beyonce. oh, myoh, my god take them both! tell beyonce they're mine, maybe

she'll sing about them! and finally, if you dream of some day settling down and marrying the person of your dreams, first of all, congratulations on being basic. second, if you're part of a straight couple, the bill for engagement rings just doubled. >> if you like him, then maybe you should put a ring on it. tiffany's introducing its first men's engagements ring this spring, the charles tiffany setting, featuring a bold solitaire diamond in round, brilliant and emerald cut up to five karats, named after founder charles tiffany. honors leg at this and love and inclusivity, they say. >> trevor: oh, guys, this is amazing, trying to double profits and try to pass it off as inclusivity -- capitalism is so beautiful. but this is a huge moment, men

have something to bring to the top when their fiancé has sex with their platonic friend. nothing to worry about. men and women get diamond rings and the children have to mine twice as many diamonds get paid overtime -- they don't get paid? so -- look, i don't think it's going to be easy to convince men to wear a diamond ring but based on the add campaign tiffany is rolling out they're definitely giving it their best shot. >> are you ready to tell the world you've found love? like a man! introducing the new tiffany's men's engagement ring, a bad-ass diamond in a signet style that tells the world i'm boning one person for the rest of my life and it will hurt more when you punch someone. so pop a beer and head to tiffanies to get a ring just like you won the super bowl.

football! tiffany, men's engagement ring, also comes in camo! >> trevor: the main story, iphones. the reason you haven't made eye contact since 2008. last week, apple dropped the latest update to their iphone operating system, around it has all sorts of new features. you can now use the phone with a video game controller, you can design your own app icons b, and there are four new voice options for siri, including two black voices, which means millions of people are about to have their first black friends. so exciting! but the big update that everyone is talking about has to do with privacy, and it's the subject of our latest episode of if you don't know now you know. what is one of the biggest concerns people have about modern technology? privacy. right? because our phones know

everything about us. what music we listen to, how much sleep we get, what our face looks like when we're pooping. but now apple is going to give you a little more control over how widely that information is shared. >> you know how it goes, you search for something online, then see an a.d. on facebook or instagram for that exact item. apple is making it harder for apps to track your online activity. when. >> when you're using apps on your iphone you may start to see this. they must get permission to track your data. before you could only opt out. >> switching from opt out to opt in is huge. that's what's going to make a lot more users opt out of this tracking peach that wasn't build for users, it was built for advertisers. >> trevor: as far as. with the new i ios update you have to opt in to being subtract

online instead of having to optout. i know it may seem like a small change but this is huge because people are lazy as shit. if apple said they were going to put all your nides online unless you opted out you would probably be, like, what? no way! where's that opt out option, settings, general, aaahhh! you know, i'm proud of my third nipple, let's just do this. i don't care anymore. people don't understand how much information facebook is getting from your other apps. you think it's a small thing. you know how you talk to your friends, i was talking about something and it popped up, is my phone listening to me? no, it's the apps. if you're in atlanta and check the weather in vermont, it won't wait for you to search a winter coat before it shows you ads for one. if you have been ordering pizza every night on grub hub an ad will show you a coat two sizes up because it knows. this privacy feature is good news for iphone users but bad news for one of apple's biggest

rivals, facebook. in fact it's so bad for them they've started throwing up pop-ups begging everyone to let them keep tracking us and warning us that if we don't, facebook might stop being free of charge. and i'm not going to lie, people, that seems like an empty threat to me because who would pay to be on facebook with the type of people willing to pay to be on facebook? i mean, that's like a crack house had a cover charge. i wouldn't mind if facebook started charging people because i think if they did maybe people would think for a second before they posted. the government puts fluoride in the water to brainwash us! post! two dollars? i'll keep it to myself. the reason facebook needs to track its users is so that it can charge big bucks to advertisers who want to target very specific audiences. but mark zuckerberg knows that people don't care if he can't afford to give his other half a

lamborghini for the birthday so he's asking you to think about the poor companies that suffer if he can't track you. >> facebook said appum's move will harm small business advertisers. >> it's going to kill us. >> for monique featured in a facebook campaign and owns charleston gourmet burger the change has already affected sales and she's had to cut costs. >> it's not about, you know, small businesses, you know, wanting to take away anyone's privacy. all we want to do is really just service our customers better. so if someone loves hamburgers and they're looking for something that is just awesome, you know, to make your hamburgers taste better, i would like to show my ad to you and this update takes that away from small businesses like mine. >> trevor: okay, now this is interesting. i mean, i don't like getting tracked, but it is true that it does help some small businesses target their ads, you know.

and the truth is in life bad things can have good side effects. like serial killers are bad, we all agree they're bad -- but you do get a lot of really interesting the things out of them. facebook is saying do you really want to hurt small businesses before amazon has a chance to bankrupt them? honestly, i wouldn't mind targeted ads that much but the thing is it's how. it is how facebook tracks all of us that i don't like. like, it would be one thing if facebook asked, treafer, do you like hamburgers? we'll show you stuff about food. but facebook sends a guy named gary to stalk my entire life. hey, trevor, i heard you like hamburgers. what? how did you know that. he he he, i read an email you sent to your girlfriend -- he, he, he, he. >> trevor: maybe you're not

swayed by the effect on small businesses. that's why facebook is awaiting the bleak future that awaits all of us if they can't track our every movement anymore. >> facebook is pushing back. it relies on data to track consumers with relevant ads. if people opt out, facebook says if a young man looks for sneakers on hisphine, facebook claims with apple's new rules it won't be able to use his search history information to show him ads for things he wants to buy so on facebook or instagram he could end up seeing ads or women's clothing or furniture. >> trevor: really? this is a rale argument? get the (~bleep~) out of here, guys. we've lived our entire lives watching untargeted ads. tv, billboards, none were targeted and we were fine. now they're making it seem like we can't live without them. oh, no, i'll have to watch untargeted ads?

but how will i know if a product isn't for me? what if i bought tampons because i didn't know i have don't have a period. what about dog food? i don't know! we can handle untargeted ads. sometimes untargeted ads introduce you to things you never knew you needed like a shower seat. i didn't think about that before i came to america and now that i'm here i realize just because i'm not 80 doesn't mean i can't get clean and comfortable. on top of all that, facebook makes it seem like all they use that data for is to sell us the products that we want. but don't forget that the reason you often only see posts that make you mad as hell is because of all the time facebook is tracking you and they use that targeting to piss youoff. it's not a coincidence that facebook is always telling you that joe biden is going to make the bible spanish only or that trump stole all the mailboxes to

give to kim jong un. it's because they know how to keep you engaged for as long as possible and they know this by tracking you. and again, i'm not pro apple here, but apple didn't build their entire business model on stalking you. facebook did. and if moving society away from tracking people means gary has to find a new job then, you know what? so be it did but then, trev, who will recommend cream for your toenail fungus! get the (~bleep~) out of here, gary! when we come back, roy wood, jr. tells us about black royals who aren't named meghan, and michael aren't named meghan, and michael b. jordan is

hey, sorry. ♪ should we tell him? you noticed it. you tell him. i can't do it. you do it! you do it! you do it! you do it! hey. you've got a little... lipstick on your teeth. ok, rude.

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talk about black history even when it's not black history month? it is. we turn to roy wood, jr. in another edition of "cp time." ♪♪♪ >> ah, well, hello. welcome to "cp time." the only show that's for the culture. today, we'll be discussing the history of black royalty because it's not just meghan markel after she got married to ed sheer sheer han, they're full of black kings and queens who did not sit with oprah. shack azulu. i git chills just saying it. half the reason people followed

him was because of that name. if he had been named herman carruthers, safe to say there would be no empire. shacka transformed the zulu train from one to have the smallest clans in the region to a mighty kingdom all without wearing a shirt. you have to be a good leader to do that. if prince charles tried ruling without a shirt the monarchy would be over by the day. king shacka was eventually killed by his two brothers, those closest to him. that's why i avoid family reunions. my brothers might try to take me out so they can get control of my traveling spoon collection. back off leroy these spoons are mine, (~bleep~)! moving observe, queen abina of zalza, started with a small power and conquered surrounding areas, like dunkin' donuts, took the whole place over.

week amina did have a complicated love life, taking lovers in every city she conquered, and then killing them. yet for some reason, men still went to sleep with her even though they knew it would be fatal. we are truly the dumbest gender. never trust a big butt and a smile. next we move on to 1940s ethiopia and its ruler emperor hali salasi, or his imperial hali salasi i, conquering lion of tribe of judah, king of kings and elect of god. you know how someone's important when their name is their resume. would be roy wood, jr., bachelor of arts, subscriber of netflix and in the basketball league i.

salasi was regarded as the messiah of all black people by rastafarians. you know you have influence when a religion is built around you. the only other person to accomplish that was jesus. i know jesus was black because the court found him guilty with no evidence. salasi instituted major reforms like creating the first written constitution of ethiopia where he outlawed slavery. that's right, slavery still existed in the 20th century. that's why you got to offread that travel journal before taking a vacation. i went on a discount cruise to an island and ended up an indentured servant for six months. safe to say i left a strongly worded guilt review for that

cruise. never trust a big butt and a smile. well that's all the time we have for today. i'm roy wood, jr. and this has been "cp time." and remember, we're for the culture. and i meant what i said, leroy, these spoons ain't the only thing i keep on me at night. ♪♪♪ >> trevor: thank you so much for that, roy. all right, when we come back, the incredible michael b. jordan will be joining me on the show, and maybe just maybe i'll get him to take off his shirt. woo-hoo hoo! (vo) ideas exist inside you, electrify you. they grow from our imagination, but they can't be held back. they want to be set free.

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hey, sorry. ♪ should we tell him? you noticed it. you tell him. i can't do it. you do it! you do it! you do it! you do it! hey. you've got a little... lipstick on your teeth. ok, rude. show." my guest tonight is actor and producer michael b. jordan. he's here to talk about his latest role as action hero john clark and being a force of change on and offscreen in hollywood. >> you're pretty messy right now. in more ways than one. >> no i'm not. i spent half my life playing that game. i'm the one who went to hell and did that dirty work. we served the country that didn't love us back because we believed in what it could be. we fought for what america could be.

>> trevor: michael b. jordan! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> what's going on, man? thanks for having me. >> trevor: oh, thank you for being here, man. thank you so much for being here. congratulations. i just watched the film. i think everybody has on amazon prime, without remorse. before we talk about the movie, i just want to know, how much more muscle are you planning to create from your human body? the whole movie, i'm watching you and it's very discouraging because i stay at home and eat ice cream. when i see you, i'm, like, do you eat anything? who are you, man? >> i was just about to eat strawberry donuts. i eat a lot. i've let myself go in recent months. it's been pretty bad, quarantine has taken its toll on this body. but, no, no, i mean, you know, whenever i've got to lock in and actually, like, transform my body for a role, it's -- you

know, i can get the job done, creed 3 is coming up soon so i'll have to change my ways soon. >> trevor: i could have a michael b. jordan lawyer body, and then michael b. jordan is like a boxer and a navy seal and is, like, i'm going to watch the movies. >> we have to work out one time. >> trevor: why would i do that? why would i as trevor noah work out with michael b. jordan, to feel what about myself, michael? >> feel great. the first couple of days you will feel death but after that you will feel great, good, look even better which is (~bleep~) hard to do. ( laughter ) >> trevor: let's talk about the movie. tom clancy, man. anybody who's loved the books, the games, i grew up playing rainbow six, so did you. this movie without remorse, i watched it with my brother and he was, like, this is amazing. i haven't seen an action movie

like this in a long time. why did you choose to do it and what made you think, you know what? i can make this something special. >> first of all, thank you, appreciate that. glad you guys enjoyed it. like you, i was at home as a kid playing rainbow six video game for hours and my mom would yell, get off that damn game! and i would be envisioning myself in these missions. so i had an opportunity to take, you know, a tom clancy favorite, you know, and john can elie and give it a breath of fresh air, modernize it, make it more of a reflection to have the world we live in today. these types of movies are what i grew up watching. i love action movies. so i was, like, one day i want to do my own action movie and my own stunt and this was the one to check that box. >> trevor: it was navy seal training you went through for the movie? >> yes, i worked with military

ex-navy seals and marines and a water diver. for the movie you saw, i had a specialist to get comfortable with the stunt and went out and executed it. >> trevor: one of the most terrifying stunts in the movie involves you in the ocean underwater in a vessel -- i won't tell the people what vessel it is, don't want to spoil anything -- but you're underwater -- the camera doesn't cut well. we follow you holding your breath swimming and swimming under water. i was, like, no, man, michael tinted actually do this but you actually did that. >> yeah. that was the one it took us about a week and a half to shoot and every day i would get up and i would get to the set and i would be, like, who wrote this? why did we decide to do this? it was my favorite thing and then it was my least favorite. i mean, hated it and then i fell in love with it all over again once we finished us just because

we accomplished it and got it done. so it was very ambitious but it was something that i had to do because stepheno wanted to shoot it because you knew it was me doing the stunts so i had to train wreal hard for it. >> trevor: modernizing the thing, i know tom clancy novels well, i've read the books and played the games. what i love the film is it made you think about this from the perspective of the military personnel. people go out and say, i'm fighting with my country, and we've seen it in 9/11 or whatever in america, where they go this is false pretenses but this is actually my life. you have been passionate about telling military personnel stories oretic canning with them as human beings. that part of the story seemed loved to you and what were you trying to achieve in telling that part of the story. >> i think the honesty of what it's like from the soldier's

perspective who is a family, who have things they care about. obviously they're dedicated to a service, to a country in order to protect the oath, you know what i'm saying, to uphold those values. but when that comes home and you feel betrayed, you know, and you're being lied to on so many different levels, you know, how far would a man go to get those answers? you know, i think we all felt like this at one point. we feel so small. we feel like i'm one person, what does my opinion or what can i do to possibly change this bigger thing, this bigger elephant that's in the room, this bigger system? and i think john felt like that for a majority of the movie until he started to really feel like, no, i'm taking the power back, i actually can make a difference, i can. they're going to see me, they're going to feel me. you know what i mean? they're going to feel they messed up. and i think, you know, just getting people to think a little

bit and to, you know, obviously be entertained and having fun while watching this movie but at the same time start asking questions. you have to put a little sugar with the medicine sometimes and this is a cool vehicle to have fun but also to think, too. >> trevor: yeah, man, i think part of what helps the people think in this story is who the story tellers are. you're amazing. you have fans all over the world because of that but you have to admit, man, your cast was phenomenal in this film. let's talk about jody turner smith. people fell in love with her in queen and slim. she's back again in this film. what was also amazing is seeing a black woman assuming a high position not just in the film but in the story as well. there were beautiful scenes where it wasn't, like, oh, the guy's got to help her. no, no, she's a soldier. she's here to fight. she's doing her thing. that like an interesting way to tell the story in a way we haven't really seen growing up. when we watch movies in action, it was like rambo helps the

damsel in distress all the time. no, here everyone is a soldier and everybody is fighting. >> that's one of the roles we did take, black female commander in the navy seals is something we definitely made a choice with. there was a seen where a gun jammed -- spoiler alert -- but there's a moment where john goes to rescue and save, you know, greer, and by the time i get there, it's already neutralized and handled, you know what i mean, so it was -- yeah, man, it was really good to see that, and i think what representation does is so important, and we want that to inspire so many young girls out there that maybe thought that that wasn't possible for not for them that they can go ahead and try to get that, too. >> trevor: michael b. jordan is now a moviemaker and producer. you have a movie deal with amazon, creating content, you're

helping others create, you're a superstar in every right. 2021 people you're voted sexiest man alive. where does life go from here for michael b. jordan. what are your goals now? it's downhill from here, let's be honest. >> it's all downhill from here. why not try my hand at directing? i think that's the next challenge for me is to get behind the camera and tell a story, and, like, creed 3 is the perfect vehicle for myself. the third time i will be play anything character, you know, knowing the world, knowing how, you know, to film the boxing elements of it all, following such a strong system, you know, by sly that he created with the rocky films and that the creed continued to do. you know, i guess as an actor, growing up in the industry, you're taking direction, you know, all the time, from every set that you work on and when you get to a point in age where you're like i want the camera

set up here and tell it through this lens, and, you know, i think it's the perfect time for me now. so i'm excited about jumping off the deep end and getting behind the camera and telling the story. >> trevor: if you don't do that, you can go and shoot people. i think you're very good at that now. you can go and like fight people. i think you're extremely good at that now. if that fails -- i mean, you realize you could probably be a boxer are all the training you've done. you realize that right? >> i could be okay. i have so much respect for those boxers, it's insane. >> trevor: i would put my money on you in a fight. >> you know what, i appreciate that. that means a lot because i will put my money on me in a fight, too. >> trevor: i thought you were going to say you would put your money on me in a fight but you put it back on yourself. >> no, i mean -- >> trevor: no, it's cool. you can try to make me feel better but we know the truth, with eno ewhere your money is.

michael b. jordan, i appreciate you and your time. i appreciate everything you do. look after yourself. >> keep up the good work. i'm so proud of you, of everything you're doing. this is fun. >> trevor: much love, man. all right, take care. >> all right, see you later, trev. >> trevor: come clancy's "without remorse" is available now on amazon prime video. ♪ ♪ look, if your wireless carrier was a guy you'd leave him tomorrow. not very flexible.

not great at saving. you deserve better... xfinity mobile. now they have unlimited for just $30 a month... $30. and they're number one in customer satisfaction. his number... delete it. i'm deleting it. so, break free from the big three. xfinity internet customers, switch to xfinity mobile and get unlimited with 5g included for $30 on the nations fastest, most reliable network. go -- may is mental health awareness month, so please consider supporting an organization called the boris lawrence henson foundation. founded by taraji p. henson, they're a non-profit committed to eradicating the stigma of mental health issues in the african-american community. by supporting the boris lawrence

henson foundation, you are helping to increase the number of african-american therapists, combat recidivism within the prison system and provide mental health support in urban schools. if you are able, go to the link below to donate what you can. until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, get your vaccine and, remember, if you don't want to be tracked online, do what i do -- browse the internet wearing a fake mustache. now, here it is -- your moment of zen. ♪♪♪ >> a tale from the border didn't just border on b.s. this was usda grade a bullshit, and the reporter who wrote the story resigned claiming she was forced to make it up. but the damage was done. pumped out over the air waves at the bullshit factory, also known

as fox news. ♪♪♪ ♪♪ randy: ♪ goin' down to tegridy farms, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ goin' down to tegridy farms, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ there's ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor" ♪ ♪ i'm headin' on down to tegridy farms ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind towelie: i got some weed, and... i don't know what's going on. randy: ♪ so come on down to tegridy farms ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪