>> trevor: hey, what's going on everybody? i'm trevor noah, and this is "the daily social distancing show." today is wednesday, may 12, and congratulations to all the new members of the rock and roll hall of fame, including tina turner, foo fighters, and jay-z. and i know a lot of people are sayig jay-z is a hip hop artist and doesn't belong in the rock and roll hall of fame, but guys, that's some bullshit. people haven't made rock 'n' roll since 1970s. the history channel. it was history. now it's random weirdos trying to find ghosts. you gotta evolve! anyway, on tonight's show: we meet the woman who's hoarding vaccines in her body, jordan klepper recounts the votes in arizona, and the g.o.p. is getting a makeover. so let's do this, people! welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> announcer: from trevor's couch in new york city to your

couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show," with trevor noah. >> trevor: all right, you all, let's kick things off in texas, mexico's hat. if you live in the suburbs of houston, you probably expect life to be pretty uneventful: kids riding bikes, women holding book clubs, dudes shooting ar-15s at trash cans for "looking at them funny." but one thing you definitely don't expect is a 200-pound jungle cat. >> this morning, authorities still on the prowl, searching for a missing tiger seen roaming the streets of houston. >> makes us cringe to all of us, just to know there is a wild animal at large. >> oh, my gosh. >> the big cat's unexpected appearance leaving neighbors and even houston's mayor baffled. >> let's find the tiger, and let's place the tiger in the most appropriate place. >> you know, this has become kind of commonplace in texas, so i really hope that senators cruz

and cornyn will sign on to the big cat public safety act, because if they had last year when the house passed this bill-- the senate didn't bring it up for a vote-- if it had passed last year this wouldn't have happened this time. >> trevor: holy shit, it's carole baskin! it's so weird seeing someone from the beginning of quarantine. you know what it's like? it's like turning on the news and seeing that t-shirt i had to use as toilet paper. like, "wow, my t-shirt made it! oh, man! glad to see it's doing okay!" and i know carole is blaming politicians, but i think she should be the one finding that tiger. she's got experience with big cats, she has her own sanctuary, and she's already married to the bait. plus, if you ask me, now is not the time to politicize a tiger on the loose. please, people. every time a tiger escapes there's a rush to push tiger control, and i'm sick of it! we need to accept that occasional tiger attacks are just a part of living in a free country. and, look, man, i've said this

before and i'll say it again-- all my sympathies are with the tiger. people are shocked the tiger isn't where it belongs but who brought him there. it's the people. "he's not supposed to be here." then give him directions back to the jungle. the crazy thing is somehow the tiger is is still on the loose after three days. how the hell is that possible? how can they note found a tiger in texas. it's a tiger not a planned parenthood. let's move on the pandemic. here in america, teenagers age 12-15 can now start receiving covid vaccines as soon as as tomorrow uwhich is good news, especially for matt gaetz, because his dating life can pick up again. over in italy, there are now five doses less than there should be. >> a 23-year-old woman has been discharged from a hospital in italy after she was mistakenly given six doses of pfizer's covid-19 vaccine.

a healthcare worker accidentally filled a syringe with an entire bottle of the vaccine containing a total of six doses and only realized her mistake shortly after the short was administered. the patient, who is in good health with no underlying conditions, was kept in the hospital for observation. doctors say they will continue to monitor that woman's immune response to the massive dose of vaccine. >> trevor: wow. this one woman got more vaccines than all of wyoming. i mean, yeah, mistakes happen, but this is really everyone's worst nightmare at the doctor's office, because you can tell if a waiter brings you the wrong food, or if your plumber didn't stop a leak, but let's be honest, you don't know enough about medicine to know exactly what the nurses and doctors are doing. like, whenever they're cupping my balls, it might be a medical necessity, or it could be a practical joke that doctors have been playing on us for hundreds of years.

there's no way to know! why do they do that. they cup it and tell you to bark. this woman is really lucky this did not happen in america. because here they'd be like, "don't worry, you're gonna be fine. but those extra five doses are going to cost you $2 million. will that be cash or card?" if she survives this, this will be the woman's worst nightmare. forget fighting covid. if you get that much vaccine in you, you'll be able to see covid. ♪ ♪ ♪ and, finally, the u.s. secret service. they're the reason america's president is so comfortable talking all that shit. during the years when donald trump was president, we heard a lot about how he and his people caused chaos at almost every

government institution: the state department, the post office. hell, he even asked the department of agriculture to grow potatoes with all the fixin's already inside. but we didn't hear many stories about the secret service under trump. well, that is, until now. >> some stunning revelations in a new book. it says trump family members became-- quote-- inappropriately close with some secret service agents. >> inappropriately close with vanessa trump, donald trump's jr.'s ex, means there was a relationship. certainly this relationship, if it did exist, is unappropriate, and against secret service rules. secret service protectors are not supposed to get personal with their protectees as it may compromise their situation guarding them. 7 another nugget involves tiffany trump, the president's oldest adult child. it's said tiffany trump developed a close relationship with a-- quote-- tall, dark, and handsome secret service on

her detail after breaking up with one of her boyfriends. this is another thing that came out in this "post" and the "guardian" story, a little teaser from carol's book that says trump did not like the appearance of some of his agents. he said, "i want these fat guys off my detail. how are they going to protect me and my family if they can't run down the street?" >> trevor: wait. hold up. do trump's secret service agents really need to be that fit? i mean, if we're honest, they only need to run fast enough to keep up with him. not to mention, if i was the suz of trump, i would want all my secret service agents to be huge just to make myself look thin in comparison. "you have one mission: to protect me, your petite president. so tiny." and as for the trump women, i mean, come on. are we surprised?

of course they fell for their bodyguards. anyone would. these people are physically fit and willing to die for you? you find someone like that on tinder. in fact getting into a relationship with your body guard is a good idea in my opinion because then they'll want to protect you even more. the downside is when the relationship gets stale and the danger comes, they'll be like, "am i really gonna risk my life for a person who leaves their hair in the drain?" now, unfortunately, overweight secret service agents aren't the only people trump wants to get rid of. you see, these days, he's focused on purging the republican party of anyone who isn't sufficiently loyal to him, people like congresswoman liz cheney, who has spent the past few months saying things that make trump really angry, like that the election wasn't stolen, that trying to overthrow the government is bad, and that twitter is still fun without him. now, what made this especially ballsy is that cheney was saying

all of this while holding the number three position in the party's congressional leadership, which was making everyone in the g.o.p. pretty uncomfortable. i mean, here they are, trying to move past the attempted coup and focus on looking forward, to the next attempted coup. but cheney just wouldn't let it go. so today, they decided to overthrow her. >> more breaking news from the hill. last hour, liz cheney was voted out as house republican conference chair. she was number three in leadership. that position is no longer hers. >> house republicans are expected to replace cheney with new york congresswoman elise stefanik. she has emerged as one of former president trump's top defenders. >> cheney spoke to cameras briefly afterwards. >> we cannot both embrace the big lie and embrace the constitution. i will do everything i can to ensure that the former president never again gets anywhere near the oval office. >> trevor: okay. wow. i respect liz cheney taking a

stand against trump. but it feels a little less threatening when she's doing it as she's being removed from power. it's got the vibe of a villain falling into a volcano while saying "this isn't overrrrrrr!" my man, it's over-- no-- it's over. so, forced to choose between a party leader who told the truth about the election, and a party leader who claims that the election shouldn't count because too many people voted, the g.o.p. chose the lie. and if you want an idea of where the g.o.p. is headed, there may be no better clue than the person who's expected to replace cheney in party leadership, new york congresswoman elise stefanik, who just happens to be the subject of another episode of "fringe-watching." given the state of the republican party right now, you might think the person they're replacing liz cheney with

would be a 150-proof trumpist from the heart of maga country. but, actually, for most of her political career, elis stefanik was the exact opposite. >> elise stefanik was not always considered a trump republican. stefanik was seen as a moderate when, in 2014, she won a house race in upstate new york at age 30. >> she was the youngest woman ever elected to congress when she first won this office, and at that time, she was a pretty classic east coast moderate conservative. >> in 2015, 2016, and the early days of the trump administration, stefanik repeatedly and publicly opposed trump. >> opposing him on nafta and trade, even voting against his signature 2017 tax cuts. >> she also criticized trump's initiative to build a wall, saying, "i don't think that's realistic." in 2015, stefanik also disagreed with trump's calls for a muslim ban, saying, "this is not who we are as a country." and stefanik wrote this after the release of the "access hollywood" tape, "donald trump's inappropriate, offensive

comments are just wrong." >> i've disagreed with the president's rhetoric numerous times when it comes to how he addresses women. >> trevor: so elise stefanik didn't like trump's tax cuts, didn't like his trade deals, didn't like his muslim ban, didn't like his sexism, didn't even like his wall! she basically didn't like anything about trump. which is insane! i mean, you expect that from trump's wife, but not a republican congresswoman! so for a while, stefanik was pretty much what used to be called a "normal republican." and then, in late 2019, she saw an opportunity to make like billie eilish and give herself an eye-catching new image. >> elise stefanik became the breakout star of the house hearings for trump's first impeachment, often tangling with democrats. >> to have our democratic colleagues say these untruthful statements just reeks of political desperation in their continued obsession to manipulate mainstream media coverage. >> trump was so impressed at the time, he tweeted, "a new republican star is born."

after trump lost and started pushing the big lie, elise stefanik signed on fighting to overturn the 2020 electoral results in both pennsylvania and texas. as this newly minted version of stefanik moved ever closer to trump's orbit, her fundraising exploded, and so did her profile. stefanik became a regular on fox news, and her cheerleading for team trump moved into hyper drive. stefanik was clearly on trump's radar, even if he couldn't pronounce her name. >> elise stefanack!! >> trevor: look, you can't take offense to that. trump pronounces words like a great jazz musician: you'll never hear it the same way twice. twish. now, to outsiders, this might have seemed like stefanik suddenly embracing the dark side, like anakin turning into darth vader, except about the part for wearing a mask. but the truth is she probably just made a straightforward calculation: she saw where the party was going, and she decided to go along with it.

it's just a little awkward to start rooting for someone after they've been publicly disgraced. ( woman ) "i never really liked r. kelly's music, but now that i've heard the charges against him. it's kind of dope. i mean, like, are you guys hearing this?" and once stefanik hopped on the trump train, she never looked back. in fact, these days, it can sometimes be hard to tell her and trump apart. >> the democrats are obsessed with impeachment. >> they have been obsessed with impeachment. >> the phony russia hoax. >> the phony russia hoax of russia collusion. >> we need election integrity and election reform immediately. >> we want to be able to fix and strengthen our election security and election integrity. >> sleepy joe rejects the scientific approach in favor of locking all americans in their basements for months on end. >> joe biden wants to keep them locked up in the basement. >> trevor: damn.

this goes way beyond just agreeing with trump. it actually sounds like she's preparing to play trump in a movie: "i must become trump. this is my process!" so, in the end, elise stefanik surrendered her principles, her dignity, and even her voice to donald trump. and what did that get her? enormous amounts of cash? the support of a passionate base of voters? the inside track to a powerful position in party leadership? yes, yes, it gave her all those things. but was it worth it? because it seems like it was kind of worth it. i mean, goddamn! all right, when we come back, jordan klepper checks out the latest recount in arizona. so don't go away.

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you win. it's that spicy. kate, can you help me up? >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily social distancing show." now, you might think that the 2020 preidential election is over, but somehow, it is still going on in arizona. so we sent jordan klepper to find out what is going on in another episode of

"jordan klepper fingers the pulse." >> last week, i traveled to a sweltering arizona, where republican state senators are auditing results of the 2020 election in a giant arena next to an actual carnival. sure, there's already been two audits and a recount and it's 101 goddamn degrees out, but there are still men like this ready to throw their support behind election integrity. >> i've been here all week, and i'll be here until the audit is done, is my plan. what's going on right back here it is the most important thing going on in our country right now. >> what do you have on your hip? >> a smith&wesson. antifa and b.l.m. might be coming in. >> you have seen any signs of antifa. >> you probably heard about the carnival going on here. there's a little concern about whether or not that would provide those kind of folks an opportunity to come in and try to unfill trait and get access. >> so there is some fear that b.l.m. might meet behind a

tilt-a-whirl, organize and bum rush the situation. >> bad people can do bad things. i'm not going to say what they might try to do. >> outside of possible antifa carneys, what's the harm in one more recount? >> i know that it's comical to watch what's happening here in arizona, but i think that it is also important to note that this is really dangerous to our democracy. and you know what? we saw how dangerous the postelection misinformation was. this is a group of people who are clearly partisan. it is headed by a company that has no auditing or election experience. and they're making up the rules as they go along. >> so who is running the audit? >> cyber ninjas. >> did you say cyber ninjas? >> i did. >> is it run by a 12-year-old boy? >> it sounds like it, right? >> while the cyber ninjas web site looks like the invitation to my ninth birthday party we must not judge audit company buz their splash page. you give it to the pros and let

them handle it. >> these are not pros. >> they're cyber ninjas. that takes some amount of trawning i assume. >> their firm has nothing to do with audits or elections. >> how many alditzs have they done? >> none. >> they've never done an audit. >> no. >> i mean, give bem a wide berth, right. first job. sometimes you make some mistakes with your first job. i remember my first job, i burned a lot of hamburgers and i worked in a t.j.maxx. >> there are a lot of arizona voters very concerned about this, and i don't think they like the idea of their ballots, their election being in the hands of these rookies. >> turns out the audit has this some issues in the trust department, starting with cyber ninja's conspiracy theorist c.e.o., who attended the january 6 insurrection, and mysterious u.v. light used to look for bamboo in paper ballots. i talked to john brakey and ken bennet, who are inside working

on the audit. >> there have been so many bizarre stories going on through the media. >> you can have some pretty farfetched ideas on both side and what we're doing is proving or disproving as many of those as we can. >> speak as somebody on the outside, this feels like it's just feeding into conspiratorial thinking. >> we're myth busters. >> great. >> we're doing things we think are foolish but people know it's real. >> what is this i hear of a u.v. light? >> there was a u.v. light being used to supposedly check for water marks in the ballot. >> i want to follow up on this. bamboo. >> bizarre, huh? that's because southeast asia used bamboo in their paper, supposedly. we're myth busting. >> are you looking for traces of bamboo? >> we're looking for everything in there. >> so that's a yes? >> we're looking to disprove it is not there. >> some people believe that paper from outside of the authentic ballot paper that should have been part of the maricopa audit, got introduced

into the system, and might be the paper on which 40,000 people cast illegitimate votes. >> all chinese ballots are on bamboo? >> yeah. >> is it because soy sauce would be too obviously racist? >> oh, my goodness. >> is there a chance people believe this? because people add fuel to the fire by elvath this? and, therefore, letting that be part of the conversation. >> what do we do? if we validate something they think might have happened didn't happen, then we're not throwing fuel on the fire. >> are you looking into the hungarian vector? >> i didn't know about that one. >> it's a bullshit thing i just made up that sound cool and a little bit spooky. i was fortunate enough to see the operation firsthand, and the people led by the cyber ninjas were definitely counting and observing. but there is still one thing that can at least temporarily derail this audit: teenagers. >> we've known from the very beginning that there's some high school graduations coming in, in two weeks. so we'll have to step aside for about a week while the graduations occur. >> you don't have a place to

count the ballots in two weeks? >> no. one week we're going to shut down. >> we'll secure the ballots. and then when the graduations are over, we'll come back and-- >> this is not a joke. >> i know it's not a joke. but you want us to trust you, but you're like, "we're going to lock the ballots in there and let a bunch of teenagers come in for a week and we'll start counting again." >> that is not case at all. let's get serious. >> i got it. let's be serious. >> this is a very serious subject. >> it's very serious. >> it's not a joke. >> not a joke. let's go back to the bamboo talking but it's not a joke. until we settle the very serious bamboo situation you can find me in a place that's run by professionals not attempting to thwart our democracy, the other carnival. >> trevor: thank you so much for that, jordan. all right, when we come back, michelle zauner will join me to talk about all the korean dishes that i need to try. so don't go away. there you go. ♪ here's what you spent last month.

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zauner, also known as the indie musician, japanese breakfast. we talked about her incredible new memoir that explores grief, food and identity and we talked about her upcoming new album. michelle zauner, welcome to the "the daily social distancing show." >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: let's start off with one of the biggest conundrums i found while trying to do research on you, and that is, in your bioon twitter, you say you are korean. you say this everywhere you go. and yet, and yet your stage name is japanese. and i'd love to know, like, the creative inspiration behind how you chose your name as a performer on stage. >> it's unfortunately not a very interesting story. i started the band as a side project in 2012 or 2013 with no idea that it would grow into what it is now or that i would ever be talking about my korean identity so much. and i just saw a picture of japanese breakfast on the internet, and thought that

sounds nice. and so i... chose japanese breakfast. and, yeah, it's unfortunately not the most fitting name, especially now that i have written a book so much about korean food. >> trevor: you have gone from being a daryling in the music scene to now being so many people's favorite writer. you have a "new york times" bestselling author. congratulations on that. i think your book was number two on "the new york times" bestseller list right behind george w. bush. you said, damn george bush and his paintings." you thought i'm going to write a book about my life and being proudly korean and my family, and i think this will resonate with everyone? >> i didn't think much about it resinating with anyone, to be honest. it came from such a personal place with such a sense of urgency, i think, to sort of bear the wounds of caretaking and losing someone to illness. and this very unique experience

that i went through, which was learning how to cook korean dishes as a way to commemorate my mother, and a way to move past trauma and preserve my cultural heritage. >> trevor: yeah, the title in and of itself is beautiful. "crying in h mart." and i love how throughout the book is really is an homage to your korean her dispaj h mart itself. why did you feel like, this is the title of the book? titles i feel always hold so much meaning beyond what we're reading on the cover. >> yeah, h mart became a real refuge for me after my mother passed away, after going to eugene, oregon, and living as a caretaker and watching my mother's health deteriorate, i really had a difficult time remembering my mother before she was sick. and that was so heartbreaking to me. and it wasn't until i went to h mart and found a can of sweet red beans that i had this beautiful memory of my mom and i

in seoul every other summer and eating this korean shaved ice dessert. and i became addicted searching for that feeling, such an important way of nave gaith my grief. and, yeah, i cried a lot in h mart and it was a very healing experience for me. >> trevor: when you were writing this, you have to relive a lot of it. was that a therapy for you? or did that just reignite a lot of those traumas and that pain you had previously experienced? >> i think it was both, you know. i think as an artist, there's this desire to poke at the wound in this way. but that's sort of the called the pact that you make with love. grief is the pact that you make with love. and i feel like it was really necessary for me to look back at that part of my life, and analyze it and understand iting and investigate it. and it was ultimately really healing for me. i think i made it a little bit

easier for myself by sort of wading in through these more pleasant memories of my childhood and what made my relationship with my mother so interesting. but there was also this part of the book that i just-- i felt so upset that i had never read something like this that would have warned me that this is what illness looks like. and i -- >> wow. >> and i felt this real need to tell everyone and warn everyone that this is what living close to death looks like. >> trevor: did you find writing the book helped you forgive your mom for some of the issues that the two of you went through? >> absolutely. i think that even more so, i was able to forgive myself for what i put my mom through in my adolescent years. >> trevor: wow! >> i think that-- i think that everyone-- a lot of people can relate to that sort of tumultuous adolesc expense that struggle for independence, and especially as a young creative trying to find my voice, that was a major point of contention between my mother and i. and so i feel like through

writing this book i found not only a lot of forgiveness for the way she felt this need to sort of protect me from this lifestyle and the whole risk and struggle of that. but i also was able to forgive myself for what i put her through. and in the end, i found a lot of success as a creative on my own terms in this way that she never got to saw-- never got to see. so i feel like i was able to forgive myself for that in a way as well. >> trevor: you also had to find your love for being korean again. and you share that so beautifully in the book. you know, growing up in a community that was predominantly white, you share candidly how you wanted to discard all parts of yourself that could be seen as not white. what was it like? and how would you talk to other young kids in your position who go, "i just want to be one of the kids. i don't want to be korean. i just want to fit in. i don't want to be asian at all." how did you rediscover your joy

and your celebration of yourself and your heritage? >> to be honest i don't think i was able to find that until after my mom passed away. and it's my hope that the younger generation is already kind of learning how to celebrate their differences, and a big part of that is the online community and how we're able to share these sort of experiences, whereas when i was younger it felt so isolating and something to shirk. >> trevor: yeah, i can knowledge. >> i came into it sort of later. and i guess my advice would be, you know, i hope that people are able to be proud of their background before they sort of come into it a little too late. i'm sure it was a pain for my mom witnessing me trying to shirk off that part of my identity for quite some time. >> trevor: you are still in music. you are still an artist. un, you're going to continue your journey. the world is going to open up again. you're going to go back out on

tour. do you think that anything you've written in the book will now affect what kind of music you would like to make or how you would write your musicking? have you found anything bleeding in from one medium to the other? >> definitely. they're really in conversation with one another, and i feel like after writing my first two records, which were largely about grief and loss, and then an entire book about that experience, i felt really ready to sort of start this new chapter and run to the other spectrum of human experience, so the new album comes out on june 4. it's called "jubilee," and it's about joy. and i feel like through the process of writing all this material, i was sort of giving myself permission to really embrace that and feel that and fight for it in my life. and that's what the new album is about. >> trevor: i love it. i feel like it's going to be want complete jury. we get to cry with you in h mart and in june we get to experience some jubilee. thank you so much for joining me on the show and congratulations

on writing a truly astounding book. >> thank you so much for having me. >> trevor: michelle's memoir, "crying in h mart" is available now, and the new japanese breakfast album, "jubilee," comes out on june 4. all right, we're going to take a quick break, but we'll be right back after thi ♪ ♪ look, if your wireless carrier was a guy you'd leave him tomorrow. not very flexible. not great at saving. you deserve better... xfinity mobile. now they have unlimited for just $30 a month... $30. and they're number one in customer satisfaction. his number... delete it. i'm deleting it. so, break free from the big three. xfinity internet customers, take the savings challenge at xfinitymobile.com/mysavings. or visit and xfinity store to learn how our switch squad makes it easy to switch and save hundreds.

>> trevor: that's our show for tonight, but before we go: may is mental health awareness month, so please consider supporting an organization called "therapy aid coalition." they're a nonprofit committed to providing free and low-cost online therapy to essential workers and to victims of national disasters. if you are able to, please go to the link below and donate whatever you can. until tomorrow, stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember: if you see a tiger on the street, do not try to catch him by his toe. that is harassment, and he will file a lawsuit. now here it is, your moment of zen. >> do you still question whether or not joe biden won the election fair and square? >> yeah, chris, i stand by my vote to object on january 6. i stand by the texas lawsuits. >> i hear you saying joe biden is the president. i do not hear you saying he was lnlegitimately elected.

>> every election has questions and this one is no different was he legitimately elected. >> there are always going to be questions. >> i don't think anybody is questioning the legitimacy of the presidential election. i think that is all over with. % captioning sponsored by captioning sponsored by comedy central ♪ ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ i'm goin' down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor ♪ ♪ headin' on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪