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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  June 16, 2021 1:16am-2:00am PDT

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dude, it's the freak nurse ! holy crap ! damnit, kyle. we've been working all week against that behavior. sorry dude, we weren't here. thank you mayor, i don't know what to say. this has been quite a week. she's really touched. what i really want to say is, well, this may sound odd coming from a woman with a fetus sticking out of her head, but, you're all a bunch of freaks ! uh, freaks with big hearts ! and now-- don't you realize that the last thing i wanted was to be singled out ? i wanted to do my job and live my life like any normal person, but instead you've made everybody focus on my handicap all week long ! look, i don't want to be treated different. i don't want to be treated special or treated gingerly. i just want to be ridiculed, shouted at, and made fun of, like all the rest of you do to each other. take those stupid things off your heads !
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oh, my, what an ungrateful bitch. the nerve of some people. you know that nurse is actually pretty cool. yeah, maybe that dead fetus makes her smarter. i love you guys. screw you guys. ♪ carry on ♪ dead fetus, no, you never let go ♪ on, everybody? i'm trevor noah, and this is the daily social distancing show. today is tuesday, june 15th, and the big news everyone is talking about today is that new york and california have basically ended all their pandemic restrictions for businesses. no more capacity limits for movie theaters, no more partitions for restaurants, nothing!
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nada, zero! whoo! and don't get me wrong, i'm glad the pandemic is getting better, but i'm not happy about this, man. i liked some of those restrictions. it was nice to sit in a movie theater that wasn't packed. i go to the movies so i can be immersed in a story, not so my leg skin can get stuck to a stranger's leg skin. and as a new yorker, i'm furious about the tables no longer being six feet apart. in new york, the restaurants put tables so close that you're all eating together. if you're next to a couple breaking up, now you're part of the breakup. when dinner's over, you gotta go help him get his stuff out of the apartment. what the hell? and space is so tight that people are always squeezing by and knocking stuff over. every time the person next to you gets up to use the bathroom, you have to hold the glasses and ketchup bottle down like it's an earthquake. no, no, it's cool. i get it. it's cool. so if we're all gonna pack into places again, let's at least keep those plexiglass partitions! please! they keep you separated from other people, and it lets you pretend you're a hockey player sitting in a penalty box. makes me feel cool. i'm not just eating a burger,
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i'm serving two minutes for cross-checking. anyway, on tonight's show: chrissy teigen goes on an apology tour, we've got 15 million girl scout cookies we've gotta eat, and marjorie taylor -- lin manuel miranda joins to talk about everything happening with his latest film "in the heights." let's do this, people. welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> from trevor's couch in new york city to your couch somewhere in the world, this is "the daily social distancing show" with trevor noah! >> trevor: let's kick things off with the coronavirus pandemic. it has disrupted so many things over the past year and a half -- the global economy, our love lives, chick-fil-a's plans for a fried bat sandwich, and now it's even coming after our snacks. >> the girl scouts say 15 million boxes of unsold cookies are currently sitting on shelves. the organization is now
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encouraging people to buy boxes online before they expire. the girl scouts normally sell around the hundred million boxes of cookies per year or around $800 million worth, but the pandemic kept them from going door to door to sell their cookies. >> trevor: no, guys. 50 million boxes of girl scout cookies are just sitting on the shelves? i mean, i was going to start my post-pandemic diet this week but the girl scouts need our help. i'm going to do this for them. forget buying them. they're just sitting in a warehouse. i'm going to pull the world's tastiest oceans 11. first, got to find friends. let's be honest, though, people, the real reason girl scout cookies did not sell is not because girl scouts could gotten door to door, it's because the parents of girl scouts weren't in their office and they couldn't shame their co-workers
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into buying 200 boxes worth of thin mints. i'm not hating on it. just saying every box of girl scout cookies i ever bought was sold to me by a bald man in his '50s. this actually gives america an opportunity to solve two problems at once. think about it, just offer free girl scout cookies to anyone getting the vaccine! america will be at 100% vaccination by the weekend, baby! except tore the places that give away trefoilss. i'd rather get covid then eat those. the tokyo olympic games are thrown out of what can by the pandemic. now the olympics are finally here. although, with some pretty big changes. >> we all know covid is forcing some big changes compared to a typicalo links that includes in the olympic village. organizers usually give way tens of thousands of condoms during
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the game for all the athletes. this year there is still going to be a condom giveaway but are telling athletes not to use them till they get home. covid restrictions say they shouldn't be getting close enough to be active with one another. organize, are saying they hope the athletes take the condoms back to their home countries to raise awareness about hiv/aids and other issues. >> trevor: hold on, japan is not going to leto link athletes have sex with each other? what's the point of even going to the olympics then? what? to bring glory to one's nation? wrong! it's to smash! that's why the sprinters to so fast. they want the race to be over to get back to the main event. if you can't have sex at the olympics, half the sports wouldn't even have anybody in them. nobody's going to spend 20 years learning how to jump over a pole with another pole unless at some point they get laid for it. let's be real, they can tell athletes not to use the condoms
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until they get home, but what that means is athletes will be having sex without condoms. not the worst idea. in 18 years we'll have the greatest olympic games of all time. let's move on to a woman with a gold medal and insanity. marjorie taylor greene, georgia congresswoman and your crazy aunt's even crazier friend. since her shocking rise to the house of representatives, green has become notorious for her willingness to say anything with zero shame, with is conspiracies about 9/11 or the existence of jewish space lasers, which is ridiculous. everyone knows the jewish space laser was taken out by the buddhist submarine missiles years ago! now m.t.g. is admitting some of her recent comments may have gone too far. >> georgia congresswoman marjorie taylor greene is apologizing for comparing covid restrictions to the horrors of the holocaust. she previously compared masked mandates to the nazis forcing
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jews to wear yellow stars. her apology came after visiting the holocaust holocaust museum. >> i have made a mistake and it's really bothered me for a couple of weeks now so i definitely want to own it. the horrors of the holocaust are something some people don't even believe happen and some deny, but there is no comparison to the holocaust, and there are words i've said and remarks i have made that i know areo offensive and, for that, i want to apologize. going to the holocaust museum was just a good reflection ands it was good to look and see things there and one of the things i was reminded of is how terrible their policies were. ( laughter ) >> trevor: yo, guys, america isn't serious, man. this woman writes the laws, the laws that govern the land and she's outhere like, yo, you guys heard about this holocaust? shit's wild! i mean, for real, though, are we going to get a press conference
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every time marjorie taylor greene learns about something? because she doesn't know about a lot of things. it has come to my attention that putting metal in a microwave makes the microwave go boom boom. i think it's important to acknowledge that. but i will say, in some ways, i feel bad for this lady, man. learning things is tough because it forces you to take back all the ignorant shit that you've said in the past. it's why the only museum i go to is madam too sards. come stupid, leave stupid. let's move on now to our top story about twitter, the internet septic tank. and now one of its most famous users is expressing regrets about how she spent her time on the platform. >> this morning chrissy teigen is publicly apologizing breaking social media silence to address past tweets and cyber bullying. monday writing in a lengthy blog post i know i have been quiet and lord knows you don't want to
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hear about me but i want you to know i have been sitting in a hole of global deserved punishment, the ultimate sit here and think about what you've done. last month her tweets showed a string of harassment directed at model and tv personality courtney. she said she wanted stodden to take a dirt nap. michael kos costello posted scrn shots of instagram d.m.s from tegan saying he's still depressed and has thoughts of suicide after online interactions with tegan in 2014. tegan said she's privately reaching out to people she's hurt. not a day, not a single moment has passed that i don't feel a crushing weight of regret for the things i've said in the past. i have to stop and wonder how could have i have done that? >> trevor: a lot of stuff to unpack here. in fact, might be too much to inpack.
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which means we're probably going to need another edition of "now let's talk this out." whoo! okay. so, first of all, i think we can all agree chrissy teigen has been a particularly horrible person online because, yes, a lot of people have said mean things on twitter, but to chase people into their d.m.s? yo, man, that's like mike tyson coming to punch you one more time at home after the fight. it's pretty (~bleep~) up. you know what's really wild about this whole story is chrissy teigen was in this world of vitriol and hate when her husband is famous for singing the most uplifting love ballads. she was sitting on the couch tweeting people should kill themselves and john legend was ten feet away in the same room singing -- ♪ all of me loves all of you ♪ and honestly, i'm glad chrissy teigen is owning up.
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i'm glald she's owning up to being a horrible person online because that is what we want, right? we want people to be better around we want people to grow p. it doesn't immediately excuse what they tid before but i think it's way better than them not learning and growing. you know, even though this story was so messed up, what really gives me hope is back when chrissy was bullying people online, millions of people were cheering for her. but now, a lot of those people are criticizing her for that same thing that they cheered. which, yes, on the one hand is hypocritical but, on the other hand, is good because it shows you that society has evolved, which is what we're always trying to do. we don't want to accept the shit that we used to. don't get me wrong. online bullying still happens way too often but at least now there's much more awareness of how harmful it can be. and for that, we obviously must thank melania. now, i don't know how she did it, you know, i think she held a
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press conference one time and stood in front of a sign and the next thing you know, we be best. but, you know, this apology also made me think about why exactly chrissy teigen was so brutal to people to begin with. because let's be real, chrissy teigen was far from the only asshole on twitter, all right. she might have been one to have the biggest and one of the best at it, but being on twitter is a lot like when dogs meet at the park, there's assholes on display everywhere. and that's not an accident. like, what we have to understand is that social media pushes people into being their most assholeish self -- roasting people, dunking on them, that's how you get the likes and retweets. it's how you have "fun." it's how you get to be part of the group, and the platforms want you to spend all your time on them so they send you stuff to outrage you. twitter sees when a few people are attacking someone and put that in the trending topics.
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five people dunk on a random guy and twitter says maybe everyone in the world would enjoy dunking on the random guy. will he enjoy it? yeah, whatever, if he didn't want the world telling he got aides he shouldn't have tweeted it to his 45 followers. so what do you end up with? millions of people looking to roast each other, to say the nastiest thing they can think of until they go too far and then all of a sudden the outrage they were a part of turns on them. and that's not a mistake. it's how the system is set up to keep us all online and to keep making money for the platforms. because think about it, chrissy teigen wasn't going up to people in real life telling them to kill themselves. in fact, most to have the things people say to each other online, they would never dare say to another human being in real life. but there's something about the platform that incentivizes people to be the worst versions of themselves.
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and until we ask ourselves why, all we're doing is chasing after the symptoms and not the cause. and, look, i'm not going to pretend that i'm better than anyone else. lord knows i've said things on twitter that i wouldn't say today, and i don't know how to fix this. the truth is, though, people being dicks on the internet is probably going to be a problem for a long time and will probably be a problem as long as the platforms reward people for being dicks online. the last thing before the ocean swallows up is someone sing look at this iceberg melting like a bitch! but i will say this, we can't change the platforms overnight but the least we can do is make an effort as individuals to be a little less cruel. i'm not saying every tweet has to be smiles and gumdrops. we can still be humans. we can still have fun. but maybe, maybe just aim for that giant space between chrissy teigen hate tweets and any john
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legend song. all right, when we come back, american soccer superstar christian pulisic will be joining me on the show and lin manuel miranda is still coming up. so don't go “cracked windshield” take 1. ♪ you say ♪ ♪ i got a crack in my windshield... ♪ uh - uh, lisa, maybe less heartbroken? geico lets you file a claim online, over the phone or with their app. ♪ that makes me wanna say... ♪ ♪ stay... ♪ (sniffles) are...are you crying? uhh, there's pollen... geico. great service without all the drama. was nacho cheese even a flavor before doritos? were triangles even a thing? ♪ ♪
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we'll keep you ready for what's next. comcast business powering possibilities. the annual purge has been extended. [ screaming ] all the rules no longer apply. nobody hear the sirens? all crime is now legal forever. [ screaming ] it's the real purge. the forever purge! [ goat bleat ]
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[ screaming ] help me. [ screaming ] my first guest tonight is american soccer player christian pulisic. he recently won two major championships within eight days and is the first first american to win a champions league final. it's no wonder he's known as the "captain america" of soccer. christian pulisic, welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> thanks for having me. >> trevor: you are not only one of the most celebrated football players, soccer players in the world right now, you are also one of my favorite players to play infifa because you are
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insanely fast and get the job done. you make history every time you step on the pitch. you are the only and first american to win a champions league and within the space of eight days you go on to win another championship for u.s.a. and you kicked the winning penalty kick. let's talk about the journey of christian pulisic. what does it feel like right now? have you even soaked in the space you've achieved in the last three weeks? >> i don't think i have yet. i'm trying to take it in. it's been an unreal journey. i can't believe i've gotten to this place so soon. i also feel really lucky. >> trevor: you've gone to the title of captain america. that's what the fans and media calls you and for good reason because you have come to be the face of american soccer in the world and people love you for it because for so long people are like americans don't like soccer, but you have fans around the world. what do you think it is about
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what you bring to the game that made people fall in love with you and the way you play the game? >> it's tough to say. i think i just bring a different spark to the game than what a lot of people have seen from americans in the past. i guess you could say i like to be just creative and try new things and i hope people see that and think maybe americans can do it. so i'm hoping i can also inspire others to do it back home as well. >> trevor: i don't even think it's a maybe anymore. it's only a matter of time. i remember when i was growing up, one of the bigles arguments we used to have is whether u.s.a. could win a world cup. we were always u.s.a. will never win a world cup because they don't care about soccer. feels like this generation is changing that. you have teammates that are playing in some of the biggest teams in the world which is for team u.s.a. talk me through why you think this change has happened and what the dynamic has changed in the actual squad. >> absolutely. i mean, there were definitely american players who played in europe before and guys i even
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looked up to but i think in this new generation you're seeing just a bunch of fearless guys going for it in europe. i really just took a big risk moving to germany for example and weston, for example, going out and doing his thing in germany and getting a move to italy. i think it's the new generation of fearless soccer players who want to go out and prove to the world americans can do it, too, so that's why we're seeing such a big jump. >> trevor: you know what i've always appreciated about you is every time you get on the pitch, it felt like, a, you were grateful to be on the pitch and, b, you were going to make the most of every single minute. where do you get that from? what else it about the game that inspires you to always want to do your best even with the little time you have been given that you increased to being the star of your games. >> i think it's the love of the game. i have so much passion for the sport and there's a lot of other people who would love to be doing what i'm doing and honestly i feel grateful anytime
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i'm able to step on the pitch. that's what it is and going out and trying to enjoy every moment. one minute, like you said, whether one or 90, you can change or influence a game and that's my mindset going into it. >> trevor: what many people appreciate about you is you don't just have a joy for the game for yourself but others. you come from hershey, pennsylvania. you plowed yourself into the game of soccer, you're, like, i'm going to do this thing and make it as far as i can. you're gone to the top of the game. 22 years old, you still have your whole career ahead of you, but what you've started doing is paving the way for others to follow in your footsteps. talk to me about what you're doing and what's happening. you're started an academy and training program. what are you doing and hoping to achieve with this? >> yeah, so i'm really excited that i was able to help my hometown club pa classics to
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basically build new fields for these kids. there's multiple miniature fields these kids can play on. there's another field, kick balls, challenges and stuff. it's really just an area that i hope the kids can just go to and have fun sometimes without coaches because that's, growing up, i think that's what i missed out on in the states where, after school, you just, you know, the kids might go play basketball door these others things. >> trevor: right. >> it's such a different culture, i think it's when i moved to england when i was very young, i lived there for a year, and after school every day we went on these little courts and we were just playing for hours, kicking the ball around. that's where i really started to love the game so much. so i hope, obviously, just one small, you know, portion of it, but i hope that really inspires kids to go out, want to play and have fun and maybe see my name on the court and think, i want to be like him. that would be the goal. >> trevor: you know what, you're so young that not only could they try to be like you,
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they could probably meet you in the league and you could beat them in the final and remind them you made it all possible for them. christian, congratulations. thank you for everything you're doing, the passion for the game, for the bay you do it in the u.s., thank you for the fans you bring, the trophies, and medals and all the things still to come. >> thanks for having me. >> trevor: when we come back the one and only lin manuel miranda will be joining me on the show to talk about everything going on with his new film "in the heights." but first, some good news. viacomcbs is joining forces with procter & gamble to uplift and elevate black creators and their experiences. in honor of george floyd and the many lives lost, p&g commissioned a series of short films, each eight minutes and 46 seconds, to reclaim that time to tell stories of black love and joy. they will premiere at the tribeca festival this weekend. for more information about the films, check out the link below.
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but first here's a ♪ ♪ ♪
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♪ i've got gadgets and gizmos a-plenty. ♪ ♪ i've got who-zits and what-zits galore. ♪ ♪ but who cares? ♪ ♪ no big deal. ♪ ♪ ♪ i want more... ♪ ♪ up where they walk, up where they run, ♪ ♪ up where they stay all day in the sun. ♪ ♪ wandering free, wish i could be ♪ ♪ part of that world. ♪
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♪ ♪ ♪ wandering free, wish i could be ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ yes! there you go. ♪♪ ♪ run wild, run free ♪ ♪ the sky's beneath our feet ♪ ♪ run wild, run free ♪ ♪ won't hide what we were meant to be ♪ ♪ ohh oh oh ohhh ♪
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go wherever your wild side takes you. toyota. let's go places.
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show." my next guest is the multiple-award-winning composer, lyricist and actor, lin-manuel miranda. he's here to talk about the story behind his first broadway musical and now feature film, "in the heights." lin manuel miranda, welcome to "the daily social distancing show." >> thank you, sir. always a pleasure. >> trevor: so everything you write turns to gold. everything you do seems to be a smash success. you are now here on the show to talk about a book about the film that many people are seeing as the vaccine to the world that we have been living in for so long. feels like the book about the successful movie, about the successful broadway play is now also going to be a success. tell me what this book is about and, most importantly, if i read this book, will i be able to also make a hamilton? can i do a hamilton? >> it's an instruction guide precisely.
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>> trevor: that's what i wanted. tell me about the book. >> the underappreciated historical figure, add genre. ( laughter ) no, i think it's funny, actually, today is the 14th 14th anniversary of us winning the tony for best musical. this musical has been in my life since i was 19 years old. so it's a lot todorf in a book. my co-writer jeremy says this is like the godfather part two of the books because it has the stories before "hamilton," including and after because it's so much about meeting the collaborators i would go on to work with "hamilton" on. but it also follows the other journeys. chris jackson who played benny in the original show and plays mr. softy in the movie, he met his wife when she was naying nina and he was playing benny in the workshop. i remember their chemistry read. they held hands but it wasn't in my script that they hold hands. i was, like, they're actually
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falling in love in realtime in my show. and, like, so much of my life is bound up in the journey of it. so i do annotations on the lyrics of all the songs. jeremy tells lots offers of sto. my co-writer contributes essays about specific moments in the show which tranits is to the film. so we try to cover as much as we can. >> trevor: it's such an inventory that i feel like can never be replicated because you're a 19-year-old student learning about this world and you go, man, i have this musical in my head and there's this thing i want to try and do and what i would love to see is the journey because like you said earlier about the godfather and the story before, sometimes people experience your work in a nonlinear fashion. i'm one of those people. i wasn't around for new york or anything and i experienced "hamilton" first. i thought, this is amazing. they're, like, you know he did something before this. and you go backwards and come forward with it. what i find fascinating is how
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you break the idea of what the thing is. you did it with "hamilton." people were freaking out. how can this be is this and the sisters, but they're all of different races! but the story never broke. i'd love to know where you thought to yourself, you know what, we can tell stories and we can include people and we can change the way we present things in the world, and it will be successful, or did you doubt that it could with be successful? >> i think i touted it at every phase, but your belief in the idea has to be stronger than what the world is proposing, right. like your job as an artist is to write what's missing. i did not see a future for myself in musical theater. >> trevor: right. >> the other thing i will add to that initial impulse back when i was in college was, like, it was the first latin pop boom was happening. >> trevor: oh, wow. >> it was, like, ricky martin in leather pants singing "cup of life," mark antony singing in
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english for the first time, eng glazias, i remember being those guys are really hot. that's not going to be me either. that's another lane that is not open to me. so, again, it's about writing what's missing. you know, withham, i honestly was surprised people were surprised about the casting because it was a hip-hop and r&b musical. you can tell very clearly that's my inspiration for what i'm pulling for. if it was an all white cast you would think i messed up, like someone messed up along the way. >> trevor: right. >> so, you know, within the heights, again, it was like how many of us can i get on the board? that's the goal, we're all going to be in this thing and can we tell stories not about latinos in the '50s with knives in their hands which is incredibly overrepresented in musical theater weirdly.
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like '50s gangsters. >> trevor: that's hilarious. in south africa, that's for me. most of my tv, anything anyone would ask me to do in south africa, the stereotype, they would look at me, the colored gangster. then the next thing, there treva new role, you play a reformed gangster. and for this one, you're looking at someone who might be a gangster. >> you're used to being a gangster. >> trevor: yeah, it was all gang-related in some way, shape or form. even though you always chagd these things and always tried to write people in and create these stories, you haven't been immune from criticism. what was really interesting and beautiful to me was your response to some to have the criticism you got for "in the heights" in terms of colorism. they say we love your work but feels like there are so many afro-latinos who could be in the movie and aren't. you responded, you didn't say i can do whatever i want, this is
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my story, my world. you were, like, hey, i'm listening. you basically said, i'm trying to make this world and i can do better. i felt defensive on your behalf, lin does so much, we have black people singing on broadway! why are you doing this to lin? you're tearing down one of our own! i would like to see how you approach that criticism and what you think you could do better because you responded so meaningfully. >> i can't legislate how people feel. again, all the i want is for this neighborhood to feel seen and if there's a segment that doesn't feel seen and they're saying that, you have to acknowledge that and let it in, and all i can do is learn from it and promise to do better and, again, there's so much afro- afro-latino in the movie, they were in the leading principle roles. i totally understand that. i receive it and i just have to
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do better on the next one. but again, like that is -- we took so much loving care and filmed on location and, so, like, i'm happy to, like, take the learning from it and bring that to the next win and also hold space to be proud of the thing we made that has been half my life. so, like, i have to be able to hold both those things because they're both true, like you are hearing from this community that feels underrepresented that is hurting -- >> trevor: the paradox, yeah. >> -- and we made this thing and i'm proud of it and we don't get to make things like this much, so i have to be able to hold it all. >> trevor: as a creator, i wonder if that's something that becomes just a space that's occupied in your mind or does it become a burden or how do you prevent it from becoming a burden? how do you live in a space where you go, no, i'm always trying to tell the best story and have i've everybody involved, but i'm not trying to be specific like
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you need to be involved because i'm trying to paint a certain type of color. how do you do that as lin or do you think it's naturally learning for you as a person. >> i think it's naturally learning for me as a person. i think that one of the things i've learned, and i learned this in "hamilton" and "in the heights," and you learn it because to have the success of the thing. that's also the thing. >> trevor: right. >> i'm incredibly lucky and privileged to get to make things for a living. i was a substitute teacher for half this book. that was most to have the time. but i also think that there's a reality of, like, when you make something, you're creating a frame, and the folks who are not in that frame are going to tell you, hey, we're not in that frame, so you have to acknowledge that and go, and the next time i make a frame, keep that in mind, and that's sort of all you can do as you move from thing to thing. >> trevor: one to have the most beautiful explanations is from one of our writers. we were talking about this whole thing and she said what's really interesting here trevor is i don't think anybody is angered
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at lin because they think he did something, i think it's buzz they know he's the one person who will listen because for so many afro-latinos, they've lived in the world of the telly novellas. it's, like, this is what latino looks like ant can't be anything else. but lin is the one person who will hear and listen. >> that means the world to me, honestly, because i analyst thing and i do want to do better with each project and i want to just keep having the chance to. >> trevor: i tell you now i will support you all the way. you keep going to bat and hitting it out of the park. we celebrate you every single time. thank you, my friend. >> thank you. >> trevor: good luck for the movie and the book. hope i'll see you at my my"hamilton" part two.
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that underrepresented hiss histl historical. >> there is a story there. >> trevor: maybe i'll find desmond tutu -- i've got it. ♪ desmond tutu ♪ i've got it! lin, look after yourself, my friend. >> take care. >> trevor: continue forget, "in the heights: finding home" is available right now and the film is in theaters and on hbo max. we're going to take a quick break and be back after this. ♪ ♪ if you've seen this before. if you think you know what happens next ask yourself why. these are the black stories we've been shown.
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but there's so much more to see. the full picture of black life. let's widen the screen so we can widen our view.
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reduce shipping costs and print out shipping labels it's my secret ingredient shipstation the number 1 choice of online sellers and wolfgang puck go to shipstation.com/try and get 2 months free
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go: june is pride month, so please consider supporting an organization called the trevor project. it's the world's largest suicide prevention and crisis intervention organization for lgbtq young people. your support helps them offer lgbtq youth free, confidential, and 24/7 lifeline, chat, and text crisis services. if you are able to, go to the link below to donate what you can. until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember: nobody should be bullied on twitter. except for bullies. although, if you bully a bully, then you're a bully, which means they can bully you, so...
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wait i gotta think about this more. now, here it is -- your moment of zen. because if you bully the bullier, then the bully -- but can you bully a bully? ♪♪♪ ( applause ) >> pepperoni has won, and, in honor of the new king, i want to just take a bite here. i'll tell you what it feels like. mmm! mmm! mm, mm, mm! rank choice voting. i didn't know it would be this delicious! ( cheers and applause )

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