t the suck it and we'll ♪ - ♪ suck it ♪ - ♪ yeah ♪ - ♪ yeah ♪ - ♪ suck it ♪ ♪ take out my suck it and we'll suck it ♪ ♪ yeah ♪ - teddy! - yeah. captioning by ryan at captionmax www.captionmax.com welcome to "the daily show." i am trevor noah. today is thursday, september 16th, and before we get started, i just wanted to say thank you for helping us et ising into our amazing new studio here. i'm sure you'venoted by now that we have been trying a bunch of new things. i'm trying new clothes, we're having fn because we're not home anymore. 17 months working from home. when owe get back into space, mix things up a. by today we're definition going to mix things up. we have an exciting new edition to announce for the show. say hello to "the daily show"'s one-man band anderson paak! ( drumming )

( continuing to drum ) >> whoo! what? yes, lord! >> trevor: when they sawed you were joining, i said it's too good to be true but he's here. we have a one-man band. welcome, man. >> thank you. >> trevor: congratulations on the vma within and silk sonic being the most amazing thing ever and congratulations on "sesame street." >> i'm living the dream. >> trevor: i feel it. this is going to be fun. kicking things off with the latest on the coronavirus pandemic. in-person school is back in session. while a lot of people were bracing for problems, i don't know if anyone expected this one. >> anchor: a school bus driver shortage is gripping the nation. massachusetts called in the national guard to pick up children. >> reporter: superintendent allmea abbetta of chelsea schools near boston says two weeks into the year and she's still short 15 drivers. meaning one in every five busses has run late.

now the guard will drive ten passenger school transport vans in her district. >> reporter: schools returning to in-person classes say coronavirus fears pushed more drivers to retire. >> reporter: other schools are turning to parents to pick up the slack. one charter school is paying them $700 for each child they drive to and from school this year. philadelphia parents in a similar program are getting up to $1,500 for the school year. >> trevor: $1,500 to get a bunch of kids into a van? that's insane! all these years, i have been doing it for free! ( rim shot ) ( drum beats ) >> trevor: and thoughts and prayers for those national guard troops. i mean, war is hell but it's got nothing on driving a bus full of ten-year-olds. ( multiple rim shots and drum beats ) >> trevor: anderson. that's dope. this is our first show. it's perfect. i don't know how you do that.

it needs to be shorter. for comedy it's really short. you know. >> i put a little time in there. >> trevor: no, i feel it. it was perfect. >> i'm your man. i got you. >> trevor: i know it. so, yes, the u.s. military -- ( drum beat ) >> trevor: so the u.s. military is going to start driving school buses which sounds like a great idea until all of a sudden the country has spent $2 trillion and they pull out and leave your kids with the taliban. ( multiple rim shots ) ( drum roll ) >> mmm! >> trevor: i don't think this is going to work. ( drum beat ) >> did you hit the punch line already? >> trevor: yeah, um -- >> look at me when you -- when the punch line's coming. >> trevor: but the audience, i have to -- >> i'm going to be ready, either way.

>> trevor: i can't -- >> trevor -- >> trevor: i can't throw the punch line to you. >> i got you. >> trevor: i believe that. >> what were you thinking? >> trevor: i'm doing the opposite. >> next joke. ha ha. >> trevor: so, yeah, so they can't get the kids to the school, right, because there's no school buses and everyone's trying trying to figure out what the do, saying parents and the military should drive them. they should hire ice cream trucks because kids calculation those things for miles. get one ice cream truck, drives through all the suburbs and the kids chase it all the way to the school! ( silence ) ( rim shots ) ( drum rhythms ) [ drumming ).

( continuing to drum ) >> these aren't tuned the way i want them to be, but -- >> trevor: i'll make sure we -- >> i'm gonna -- i'm gonna go over the jokes before anything starts happening. >> trevor: i think -- yeah, maybe we'll take a little break and -- yeah? >> yeah. >> trevor: i'll meet you in break room and we'll go through some notes and stuff and then we'll start the show after that. >> yeah. >> trevor: this is perfect, though. use the restroom? >> i appreciate it. yep. >> trevor: right through there. that door to your right, if you go -- if you go -- he shouldn't walk in front of cameras generally when -- >> gotcha. >> trevor: if we -- yeah, there's a door on that side and we can -- yeah. all the way. all the way down. keep going. keep going all the way. close the door. we're not -- yeah, this is not

going to work out. close the door. let's do the show. >> coming to you from the heart of times square, the most important place on earth, it's "the daily show." tonight, vulgate continues to swell. trinidad's health minister is here. and levar burton. this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! >> trevor: okay, people! there's a lot going on in the world now but there is one story that is more important than all of them combined. i'm talking about the yorn going saga of nicki minaj's cousin's friends' swollen testicles. as everyone on the planet has heard by now, nicki minaj tweeted out her cousin's friend in trinidad took the covid vaccine and then his bawls swole and he became impotent. people say wild stuff about the vaccine all the time but most people don't have tens of millions of followers. so this tweet has caused a giant

uproar so big that even dr. fauci had to weigh in. >> i wouldn't normally even ask you about this but is there any evidence that the pfizer, moderna or the j&j vaccines cause any reproductive issues in men or women? >> the answer to that, jake, is a resounding no. there's no evidence that it happens, nor is there any me cannistic reason to imagine that it would happen. >> trevor: can we just appreciate for a moment how crazy dr. fauci's life has become? for the first 78 years of his life, he was just minding his own business. decades working in a lab, trying to fight diseases. and now, in the space of two years, he's had to stop trump from drinking bleach, convince americans he's not trying to microchip them and now weighing in on some trinidadian guy's balls. i can assure you as the nation's top scientist that your nut sack

is going to be fine. this story has blown up bigger than a pair of trinidadian testicles. nick nick said the white house read her tweet and invited her to the white house to talk about it. but then the white house just said, nah, we said we would do a phone call to answer nicki minaj's questions, we never invited her ore over and that response from the white house pissed nicki off. >> nicki minaj defending claims she was invited to the white house to discuss her concerns about the covid 19 vaccine. >> my imagine took to instagram saying he would never lie about the invite. >> do y'all think i would go on the internet and lie about being invited to the (~bleep~)ing white house? like, what? do you guys see what is happening right now? oh, my goodness! if they assassinate me and assassinate my character and make me look crazy or stupid, guess what? no one else will ever ask

questions again. don't you see what's happening? >> trevor: i'm not lying, guys. my cousin's friend told me i was invited to the white house! look, i'll be honest with you, i can see both sides of this thing. i mean, it would be kind of weird for the white house to invite nicki minaj for that tweet. usually someone gets an invite to the white house for, like, winning a gold medal or thraifg their entire play, too not for tweeting about their cousin's friend's scrotum. that's not usual. on the other hand, nicki's story makes sense, too. why would you lie about going to a house that's not even as nice as yours? so i don't think nicki is lying, necessarily. it was probably just a big miscommunication, which wouldn't surprise me. nick nick and the white house are from two completely different world. put on "monster" and ask joe biden what he hears. hotter than a middle eastern climate vaio violet dobie?

i give up, can someone called smarlz comarldz to help me? people in trinidad are mad at her for making their country the buttt of jokes -- sorry -- the ball of jokes. >> this is almost what you would hear about apollo where somebody would tell you their cousin's friend's neighbor, xyz, come on, nicki, you have 180 million followers. people listen to you. it's irresponsible on all fronts. one, irresponsible based on the misinformation that is going on there regarding this vaccine. you know, there was no verification of the story. and furthermore, to expose your cousin's friend's flat tire in a public domain like that. the flat tire, okay.

>> trevor: all right. all right. wait, guys, can we just all agree that from now on impotence should only be referred to as a flat tire. because erectile dysfunction is so clinical, you know, it comes with a stigma. i have erectile dysfunction, but a flat tire, that sounds like something that can happen to anyone. you can pay a guy in a truck $2. you know what was crazy is when we heard a news clip at the show we all thought this guy should be the official voice of cialis. this new anchor, jason williams, is actually my trinidadian's friend's cousin. cousin, friend, friend, cousin. so we called him and actually got him to redo the cialis ads and honestly i think it's a pretty big improvement.

>> do you or your cousin's friend have a flat tire? well, you don't have to tell everybody. just take this thing called cialis. trust me, it will bring back your vibes. so ask your doctor about cialis. just make sure and don't tell nick nick, because she'll put you on blast and be around the world. >> trevor: now i'm craving cialis in doubles. whoo! anyway, the people in trinidad aren't happy, the news anchors are not happy and trinidad's government is definitely not impressed. >> a waste of time, health officials in trinidad and tobago are responding to nick nick about her claim about the covid vaccine. >> as far as we know at this point in time, there has been no such reported either side effect or adverse event. and what was sad about this is

that it wasted our time yesterday trying to track down, because we take all these claims seriously. >> trevor: oh, man... you think dr. fauci has it rough, the health minister of trinidad had to spend the whole day going around asking people about their balls. how are your testicles and yours? how are you balls, everything fine? one thing you've got to love about the caribbean is the people who can cuss you out without using a single swear word. he seemed chill buzz he was telling her off. that might have been the most dignified telling off i ever heard from a governor. i was sitting at home thinking i should be ashamed of myself. as funny and the story is, unfortunately this has turned into a real problem in a real country being handled by real health professionals. and, so, we thought at the "the daily show," you know, it would be great to have these people on the show to actually find out the full story, not from our cousin and not from our cousin's

friend but from the people there to see what's happening on the ground. so when we come back, i'll be speaking to the man from that clip, trinidad's actual health minister,

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"the daily show." everyone has been talking about the fallout from nick nick's testicle tweets which has affected everyone from the white house all the way to the government of trinidad and tobago. since we don't live in trinidad, we thought it would be helpful to have a conversation with the actual minister of health for trinidad and tobago. minister delsing, welcome to "the daily show." >> hello. >> trevor: thank you for taking the time. i know you have been inundated and i really appreciate it. >> anything for an honorary

trinidadian. >> trevor: i try my best. i have been told if i don't attend the next mass i'm going to lose my citizenship. >> exactly. >> trevor: marshall told me i need to play his band and make sure i fit into my outfit for the next mass. >> lovely. >> trevor: a few days ago, trinidad and tobago was thrust into the spotlight in not the most favorable way because of what could have been an innocuous tweet if tweeted by anyone else but nicki minaj tweeted something that thrust you and your team into the spotlight. i thought it would be great for you to come on the show and help us work through the misinformation swirling around the country now. you held a press conference that has gone viral worldwide where you had to come out and state publicly that there is no case of testicular swelling happening in trinidad -- vaccine relayed, at least. so i wanted, from your

ministry's side, do you have any concerns in and around the vaccine? is there anything that has made you say, oh, no, people need to pause or is there a rollout of the vaccine that you are comfortable with right now? >> thank you for that question. as far as our community's strategies from day one, we have press conferences every day. right now we have them three times a week. so that was part of our normal communications process yesterday. to date, we have administered over 1 million doses of vaccines in a country of 1.4 million people. we are a small but proud country, small but proud, and we are confident that we are brought w.h.o.-approved vaccines to trinidad and to the people. and with those million doses we have administered to date, there have been only been five cases of adverse events, all reported to w.h.o. none of them includes testicular swelling. and let me just reiterate, when

one weighs that against the ravages of covid 19 around the world, we are close to 4.6 million people have, in fact, died, the advantagings of vaccination far, far outweigh the minuscule risks. >> trevor: and then what of nick nick's further claims that nobody in trinidad can work if they are not vaccinated? is that true? >> i welcome the opportunity to put the record straight and say that is simply not true. our vaccination program is voluntary but highly recommended. vaccines are not new to the region, to the caribbean, to trinidad and to people to have the region, this is not new. what is new is social media trying to throw doubt on this vaccine. but floablly 8.3 billion doses

of vaccines have been administered globally. and trevor if you want to come back here, get vaccinated and come back. >> trevor: i think that's a great way to get people to come back. >> i will personally take you to eat doubles. i will personally take you for coconut, i will personally take you to tobago. you know... so if you were to send a message to nicki minaj, what would that message be? >> my message to the trinidad and to the diaspora, anywhere you are is that vaccines are safe, vaccines are effective. and i will broaden the conversation to the caribbean diaspora. the caribbean is one to have the best places to live and bring up your families.

my message to the caribbean diaspora is spread the word to get vaccinated to save your life so we can get back to our caribbean way of life, with reggae, whether it's all these lovely things, football, chutney, all these things. the way out of this pandemic right now is simply get vaccinated. >> trevor: well, i'll tell you now, minister, you had me at doubles and playing mass. i'm going to try to lose a little of my covid weight and be back. maybe we'll play in the same band. >> that would be good. and my children are great fans of you. >> trevor: thank you so much for taking the time, minister. appreciate you. >> you're welcome, my friend. >> trevor: thank you so much for joining us. thank you to the people of

trinidad for being such good sports because i know that everything has become a joke these days, but i hope that everyone remembers that, for trinidadians, this is a very real thing. trinidad is a real place with real people that is going through a very real pandemic right now, one that decimated the economy like many countries in the world. so this issue is something that they didn't need to be dealing with right now. not to mention, when you're from a small country, it's so easy for one negative story to define you to the world. you know, i think trinidad should be known for its culture, its food, its carnival, you know, not just as the home for one guy's giant gonads. as an african-american i get this. when oscar pistorius came out everyone would run to the brattroom screaming. so to the people of trinidad, we wish you the best. we know this won't be the story that defines you and hopefully soon everyone will be

vaccinated, nobody will have swollen testicles and we'll be back at carnival celebrating mass. i've gained a few pounds during covid but i still think my outfit is going to look pretty dope. when we come back the man who taught us to read and survive in space, levar burton will be joining us on the show. so don't go away. >> last wiese president joe biden woke up from sleepy time and announced his vaccine man date. >> one of the most heinous displace, joe biden's antiamerican mandate. >> he's threatening the vaccinated more than the taliban. >> what happened to the idea of my body my choice. >> if they can force you to take a vaccine you don't need what can't they do. >> what does this mean for freedom loving americans like you and me and mel gibson? i have been watching fox news for 87 hours straight and spoiler is alert i hope you like eating your meatloaf with chopsticks because we're basically communist china now. a mandate? sorry joe but the only mandate i

need is court mandated community service for gently bitch slapping a flight attendant. you're about to put something in your body and you don't even know what's in it? don't be stupid. no i won't get vaccinated, wear a mask or stop eating at a crowded re restaurant three meals a day. i would like to speak to the manager. sorry. that came out naturally. this is north korea times apartheid times cuba divided by the civil war. slippery slope. first you need a vaccine card to enter a restaurant. pretty soon you need a kid to enter a pta meeting. discrimination of a highest order. unvax should be considered as much as a slur as the words i'm not able to sing at karaoke. continue listen to fauci, joe biden or your doctor. listen to me, liberty times 1776 raised to the ow we are of venezuela. logistical question, why do i need the vaccine if i'm already snorting cinder plactin. it's not just for cows with

gonorrhea anymore. how about natural immune at this? science says the best way not to get covid is to get covid. read a medical study. i've gotten covid 19 times and i'm fine. my follow patriots, they're going to mandate vaccines to go to school? i don't send mine to school. castro times angela merkel, times jim crow laws plus socialist spread license and what does that equal zero. that's how many vaccines i would be getting joe biden if i had a job and wasn't already vaccinated. do you know where this virus is from china. ilhan omar created it. do you know how many prison years you get for interrupt ago school board meeting? that was from my lawyer. that was from my lawyer. that sums sit

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♪ maybe there's a reason... ♪ have you seen this? people started sharing it. it's everywhere. ♪ when you don't feel strong enough... ♪ you don't know how much you've given all of us. ♪ reach out your hand ♪ were you ever actually friends with connor? i never thought that it would go this far. ♪ ♪ i have to tell them. ♪♪ ritz cheese crispers. where the crispiness of ritz meets the bold taste of cheese. i need a bite. try cheesy, crispy ritz cheese crispers. only from ritz. "the daily show." my guest tonight is an award winning actor, director and literacy affected levar burton. he's here to talk about his legendary career and the importance of storytelling. mr. levar burton, welcome to the show. >> thank you very much. >> trevor: let's talk a little bit about levar burton. what a life you've lived.

>> i know, right? >> trevor: your journey keeps on moving, your story keeps on being almost rewritten, chapters keep being added. when you see your life, how do you see it? >> well, i know i'm here to tell stories, i know that that's part of why i'm here. i really see my life -- there's a through line from kunta, and george the chief of the enterprise at the other end of the spectrum, and levar, the reading rainbow guy, is in the middle of that continuum. so i have been able to represent the black experience from slavery to the future and everything in between, and what an honor that is. it. >> trevor: it feels like an honor that i think the people would argue belongs more to them. you've always been somebody who is not just passionate about being in the stories, not just

passionate about telling the stories, but encouraging others to tell their own stories and become story tellers in their own right. >> absolutely. >> trevor: let's talk about reading rainbow. >> okay. >> trevor: where did that passion come from? where does levar burton go yeah, i can make tv and movies. no, what i'm going to do is basically make no money and go and read to people. >> that's erma jean, my mother's name. she was an english teacher and a social worker and my first teacher. i'm a reader because of her influence. my mom read not only to us when we were kids. i had two sisters. but she read in front of us. and that's a critical modeling. i grew up in a house where reading was like breathing. so just the awareness that literature was after critical component of our life and lifestyle was really, you know, demonstrated and pounded into me. i like to say in my mom's house

you either read a book or you got hit in the head with one, but you were going to have an experience with the written word. ( laughter ) >> trevor: i wonder if there's something in you that is almost -- you know, i love that you say it's about your mom. i grew up in a similar household. my mom read everything to me. everything to me, and then from the bible to, you know, just random books as a child growing up, and i just, like, devoured books. before i asked the question, i would love to know, what do you do when you're not enjoying a book as an avid book reader. do you quit? are you the 30 pages and i'm out. >> no, i only ever quit reading one book in my life, norman mailer's army of the night. bored the shit out of me. >> trevor: that must be a terrible book for you to say there's one book. ( laughter ) everything else, you just read. >> yeah, absolutely, because there's a gift in everything. there's a gift in every book,

right. >> trevor: i find some books hold me hostage so i'll finish them but i'll go -- maybe one doesn't start well but i feel like i have to finish the book and i'm a hostage because i'm a completionist and i need to finish the thing. because of covid i -- i'm learning to let go. >> you don't have to if you don't want to. i'm compelled to because i have a habit of picking books at thai know i'm going to enjoy. "armies of the night" was an assignment back in the day in school, and i had to fake my way through that book report becaus- ( laughter ) i couldn't do it. >> trevor: of all the roles you've played, of all the places you've gone at fans, one of the most recent and exploding on the news has been that as a guest host of "jeopardy," you know

you're beloved and it's a wonderful feeling, i'm sure. >> also. >> trevor: it's not a craze. maybe your fans mimic your calm, but it's like you have a very calm voice. like, i like levar for this job. everyone wanted you and loved seeing you there. there's something about that world, maybe the "jeopardy" of it all or the information of it all that people associated with you. what did that moment feel like you experiencing the love of people for that? >> you know, we did a kickstarter several years ago, and i discovered then that the generation of adults now who grew up on reading rainbow, they were down with whatever it is i wanted to do, and the same was true with this "jeopardy" thing. i made it public that i wanted it for myself, that it made sense to me, and they were all about it. well -- and it made as much

sense to them as it did to me. >> trevor: right. >> and, so, they wanted it for me as much as i wanted it. the crazy thing is that when you set your sights on something, you know, they say be careful of what you wish for because what i found out is that it wasn't the thing that i wanted after all. what i wanted was to compete. i mean, i wanted the job, right, but then, when i didn't get it, it was, like, well, okay, what's next? and, so, the opportunities that have come my way as a result of not getting that gig, i couldn't have dreamt it up. if you had given me a pen and paper and said, well, so what do you want this to really look like? >> trevor: right, right. >> if it doesn't include "jeopardy," i wouldn't have been able to. >> trevor: that's the ship wreck that leads you to the magical island. >> that's right. >> trevor: we focus on the

ship wreck. we don't think about the island it got us to. >> the island is where you meant to be all along. >> trevor: i would love to see you make -- i know you've got a production company. you've had a podcast for seven years reading books. you still embody everything that you love in literature. i would love for you to think of a way -- i know i'm giving you all the work here. but there's got to be some sort of game show in and around books. there's got to be something in that world. >> we are working on creating exactly what that is. >> trevor: i deserve the credit for it. i know i said it late but i feel like now this is one of those where i feel like you hacked my mind. >> and now i owe you money? >> trevor: no, just credit. >> credit. >> trevor: you can just say developed by all the people -- and say and trevor, later, but also developed birchlts brother i would be happy to give you credit because the thing is, i never thought about hosting any other game show outside of

"jeopardy." but now, having -- they went in a different direction with their show, which is their right, and now i'm thinking, well, it does kind of make sense, let me see what i can do. so we're trying to figure out what the right game show for levar burton would be. >> trevor: i love that. >> yeah. >> trevor: now you're writing your story inspired by another story. >> inspired by another story. >> trevor: i love that. thank you so much for joining me on the show. >> trevor noah, you are a national treasure. you are the best in the business and what you do with your platform is really remarkable. >> trevor: i appreciate you so much, brother. thank you for being here. >> yeah. >> trevor: you can listen to the lever burnt reads pod cast at levar burton podcast.com or wherever you subscribe to your favorite shows. a quick break and we'll be right back with xfinity home, you can keep your home and everything in it more protected. i can wrangle all my deliveries. thanks, hoss! and i help walk the dog from wherever.

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go don't forget to check out the the series premiere of the god's honest truth where you will hear charlamagne the god's taken to the issues of the day happening tomorrow night at 10:00 on comedy central. so don't miss it. till next week, stay safe, get your vaccine and, remember, if you're hearing weird stories about the vaccine, don't just believe them, be responsible and chick with your cousin's friend first. here it is your moment of zen. >> she said he has swollen testicles after taking the vaccine. >> his testicles became swollen -- >> the cousin's friend testicles. >> testicles. >> testicles. >> when i said testicles you went -- clearing throat. >> clearly has swollen balls, a canceled wedding and has nothing to do with covid. poor fellow. >> i'm uncomfortable with you

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