but i think we can all a gre that this story is taking it a bit too far. >> here is a crazy story out of central pa. i man is facing up to 7 years in prison all because he failed to pay the right amount for a mountain dew. the man grabbed a bottle of mountain dew, slapped two dollars on the counter and walks away but he still owed 43 cents. the store called police. officers tracked him down. now he is facing a felony under the state's three strikes law because he was convicted of shoplifting twice before. >> trevor: to that all can i say is you have to be [bleep] kidding me. there is so much wrong with this story starting with why are you calling the police on someone over this in the first place, is it really worth your time. the phone call, the meeting with the cops, the paperwork, going through securitycam footage and at the end we're like we did t we got our 43 krepts back, but here is the thing, we know these laws are the hardest on poor

people but you know who is also getting scrawed over with this, taxpayers, pem, think, instead of our taxes going to roads, schools, free wi-fi that actually works, instead we're westing it on prosecuting somebody for 43 cents. i feel like as taxpayers we should git a choice, they should make a game show, america loves that. yeah, should be like who wants to spend a million there. do we want to pay back the store their 43 cents or do we want to use the taxpayers money to imprison someone for sevenniers at $40,000 a year, i think we would all pretty quickly decide we are just going to pay back the store. and by the way, can we all agree that the three strikes rule is bullshit. because if you are going to base your laws on sport, at least get the rules right. because baseball doesn't just have strike, they also have foul balls. you have two strikes and hit a foul ball, are you not out, they let it slide, that is what this should have been. right, the foul ball crime, you don't go to prison for it and also baseball doesn't just

punish the batter, it punishes the pitcher, so technically the rule should be if the cops mess up four times, you get to walk. like it if the cops pull you over repeatedly and find nothing, at some point you should get one free crime. i'm not saying like a crazy thing like murder, but like a first base crime, like you get to shop lift something small. you can have one free bar fight and go home. maybe they say you can start a met lab at the studio where you tape your tv she and not get taken downtown for questioning, you know, because st just met, we all agree, is it just me in but let's move to our main story. this week is climate week. it is where all the men in my office fight with the women in my office over who controls the thermostat for the rest of the year. but also it is a week where all the late night shows are going to be getting together to bring some attention to the climate change crisis. and figure out how we're going to steal john oliver's emmy. tonight i'm not going to bother ber you with the feak of

compliem at change like more extreme weather, rising sea levels, feeling guilty when i start a wildfire. what we will focus on ask how the major feks trickle down into a lot of weird little effects that you may not know about. and these little weird effects are changing the world in all storts-- sorts of way, like this strange thing that is happening to sea turtles. >> turlt els-- turtles are so important for the marine ecosystem, helping to keep sea life in balance. but they lay their eggs on the beach. and as the world wams up, the sand is warming too. and that is a big problem. >> sand temperatures determines the sex of the hamplings so for the northern great barrier green turtle stock, they have been producing in the last 10 to 20 years, 99 percent female. if that trend continues, in decades to come, that is an irreversible issue and with lead them to extinction.

>> trevor: people, this is terrible. you can't have all female turtles. the species is going to go extinct. and it is also going to make for some really lame gender reveal parties. >> oh wow, it's a girl. and i know what you are thinking right now, you're going to well, at least life will be pretty sweet for all those male turtles. they will be cleaning up on turtle twinnedder, it may seem like a good deal until they realize they will be expected to perform all the time. morning turtle sex, afternoon turtle sex, nature time, turtle sex. they will never have any time left to do whatever else turtles do. go to plastic stores i guess, they don't do that for themselves, that is a weird effect of climate change that nobody saw coming. i mean how crazy is it that the heat of the sand is what determines the sex of the baby. turtles should just do it thriek humans, have the sex of the baby determined by the man screaming either male or female at the

time of con accepting. it is a lot easier that way. how did your parents do it? but then why am i a boy then, you're dumb. and it is not just the turtle. climate change is messing with the sexiest animals of all, yes, humans. and again, i'm talking about unexpected little things. for instance if you like to start your day with a cup of coffee, and maybe you like to end it with a couple of beers or a couple of bottles of wine. first of all, you might have a problem. but here is some news that might leave a bad taste in your mouth. >> climate change could make it tougher for you to get a good cup of coffee. changes in temperature along with rainfall and the length of seasons would change the quality and taste of beans making for a lower quality cup. >> a changing climate is putting those key ingredients used in beer at risk. more rain versus snow in the winter. this means irrigation may depend more on ground water which has a higher minute kal ron tent. and that is a big deal because

that affects the beer. >> an increase of 1.2 degrees celsius over the past century has meant wine grapes are maturing earlier putting the world's most famous wine regions at risk. >> the largest change that wine drinkers are likely to see is higher alcohol content in the finished product and there is much discussion if this is a good or bad change. >> trevor: i am pretty sure it's a bad change. i mean the real housewives already fighting each other at current wine levels, you raise that any higher that show is going to have to move to ufc. what is craze err did -- crazier is this is going to make coffee taste worst, that is what they said. that blew my mind because i already think coffee taste like you burned dog air and put the ashes in a cup of water. i know right now the coffee drinkers are like trevor, you are wrong, coffee tastes delicious. bullshit. if that is true why is it every coffee place has 50 different ways to couch the taste of coffee, you have creamer, half

amp half, vanilla latte, pump kin spice, vanilla, sugar. the only flavor no one wants is quofee flavor, you know why, because when you have coffee flavor it that keeps up three days, not because of the cav even, but the taste of regret, i'm never doing that again. and look, people can get used to bad coffee and stronger wine. we'll just put more oat milk inth bo of them but unfortunately, climate change is also doing weird little things to our most core human behavior, sex. and violence. >> there are so many different things that can dampen imrur sex drive and now here's another one to add to the list. global warming. researchers looked at really hot days and then looked forward nine months. the impact was pretty sizeable. in the united states, they found that the impact of one hot day meant 1100 fewer births nine months later, that could mean 100,000 fewer births every year. >> rising temperatures are not the only phenomenon on the rise,

our tempers have jumped, we're getting angrier, more aggressive, more violent. >> our brain change when it is very hot, our here moans change and people's behavior chappings. >> you get a really hot night or day and people freak out and do crazy things. >> reif temperatures continue to rise the u.s. could see between 20 to 50,000 more violent crimes per year. >> trevor: that's right, thanks to climate change we are looking at a future of no sex and tons of violence. so basically drake's album cover but nobody is pregnant and everybody is just punching each other. you know my one hope is this the news that finally gets people to take drastic action because if anything is going to motivate people, it is going to be the end of sex. you know, if there is one thing that could get humans to jump into action it would be the prospect of absolutely no sex. because trust me, the first time we can't have sex because of the heat, people are going to loose it. just going to be like what do you mean my penis is overheating, all right, shut it

down, plane, card, bitcoin mining, until this gets back up, we're going amish, em. >> trevor: and by the way, this increase is a future problem, climate change may have already cost america a war. >> for the past three di cades draught and floods floods have d rural afghanistan. as a result farmers have struggled to maintain their crops and livestock. and many people have been left hungry. >> afghanistan and all the countries in the world is ranked 6th in the list of all the countries hit hardest by climate change. the taliban has gone to the communities of these farmers and mostly impoverished people in rural afghanistan and said to them, look around you, you are not getting the support you need from this groft, come join us. it's been very crucial to their rise over the past two decades. >> trevor: that's right, the taliban won in afghanistan because of climate change. and also because america couldn't go a week without joining a school.

but mostly climate change. and this really shows how desperate climate change can make people. when your livelihood is destroyed you will turn to anybody promising relief. i will say though, if you gave power to the taliban because it was too hot, i think that's a decision that you are going to regret. all right, first thing, man grow beard. women, cover everything except your eyes. >> is there an extremist group that believes in short shorts? no, okay. so climate change is having unexpected consequences all over the earth. what is most shocking to me is that it is even having effects outside the earth. >> climate change also affects objects in space. as the upper at toes fear get thinner thanks to climate change, the amount of drag goes down and that means satellites stay in orbit longer. but it also means everything up there will stick around longer like the used upper sections of

rockets which sometimes stay in orbit, or any debris from the occasional satellite slietion. as more objects stick around, there is a higher and higher chance that they will collide putting even more junk in orbit. >> right now there are probably over 3 million killograms of space junk, vastly outweighing our operational satellites and nearby natural meteorites combined. only a giant space tornado of this above our heads. >> i'm not going to lie, a giant space tornado of death sounds like the coolest way that you could i do. no, no, i take it back, the coolest way to do is still being trampled to death in a stampede every hannas, that is still number one. but this is pretty crazy. thanks to climate change, our planet is going to be completely circled in strash. aliens are going to be flying past the planet like this looks like a bad neighborhood. lock the doors. >> dad, you're so planettist.

>> will you understand when you have florks of your own. >> trevor: so that is what we are facing with climate change. a lot of weird little effects that when you add them all together, ends up being basically everything. we could be facing a future where your sex-starved husband gets killed by space junk while he is on the way to join the taliban. and don't forget please do not forget what it is going to do to our friends, the sea turtles. >> the female green turtle approaches a potential mate. for the male turtle, this delicate ritual is part of an endless nightmare mayorish orgy from which he cannot escape. he will have no peace, no rest, no moment to enjoy a tasty bed of sea grass. dignity, a distant memory. he is nothing more than a communal reptilian [bleep] stick

attached to a shell. passed around from female to female and expected to slam turtle puss24 slrk 7, he jumps joyilessly, though he is exhausted, his suffering will not end until either his turtle penis chaifed raw by the ocean salt water finally fails. or a tiger shocker delivers him the sweet mercy of death. all right, when we come back, michael kosta looks for some-- and greta thunberg is some-- and greta thunberg is joining us on the show, so don't ♪ ♪ you twist it like this. ahh... ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪

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it has worked for me. >> it really does sound like bullshit so why do people believe in this? is de hydration playing tricks with their minds, to find out i head ford draught plagued california to meet one of these water witches or dousers. >> i'm larry berg and do i dousing. >> larry berg, who said white men can't douse. all right, okay. >> it's not really a joke, lack of water is really not a fun thing. rivers are drying up. my name is on the line. >> not really your name on the line. >> larry berg. >> but larry is right about claim at change. last summer 3 percent of california was facing extreme or exceptional draught. this summer, it's up to 88 percent. so it makes sense that desperate farmers are turning to larry berg. great wet hope reasons how does this work. >> once you are found water it has its own current, its own frequent see. >> some static electricity that is actually back firing and

coming off that water. >> that rod over here tells me i'm over something, this one doesn't move, this one does, you can just tell where the rods open up. >> actually you feel energy flowing right through your body trk has a tingly situation. >> are you sure you don't just have to use the bathroom. >> no. >> did you go before we left. >> while larry took a tinkle i investigated further, ground water experts, i am not going to call anybody, are you saying it is not bullshit quns it has no skin tisk basis. >> they bring a lot of tools to the swaying like a proton magnetic resonance, when they put a electrical current into an aquifer and gage that current, reaction to the water molecules. >> that is what the dousers are doing. >> hypogeologist bring a methoddal method compared to a douser which uses a stick. >> they would refer to it task a rod. >> okay. >> but farmer john says he these so called scientists are the

real scammers. >> have i had guys that drill wells come out and look for it, spend money and found into water, i dug four or five, $15,000, larry bird found me water. >> did he? >> three times. >> downtown. >> ba would you say to a california farmer with a handlebar mus tach who says that dousing has worked for him many times. >> these are folks who usually are doing this in the same area, they get to know the land, they get to know what works, they are probably applying a certain level of scientific method to what they are knowingly doing or unknowingly doing. >> so these are unknowing scientists. >> possibly, potentially. >> is this science? >> i am making a science out of it. >> be more specific. >> geologists can look at soil, they can look at graph el. they can say this water should be here. the dousing is an art that goes clear back to egyptian time, chinese time, early years, they would use reeds or whatever.

>> larry might not be a science expert and he definitely isn't a history expert, but he might be an archaeologist, as the one thing he could find was a fossil. >> see that rod moving right there, that is a tooth, a tooth, a tooth and a tooth, a sting ray that looks like that. >> you found a sting ray. >> he's putting off energy, ten, 20, 30, 40, 50, 80, 90, 100, 150, 60, 70, 80, 181, 2, 3-- whoa. >> what are you doing right now. >> i'm actually counting the energy that is coming off of him. >> from the dead sting ray. >> his energy is 180. >> 180 what. >> energy units. >> it is a current, just the current. >> okay, great, so we found a sting ray, what about water. >> but larry says water isn't the only thing he's had a close encounter with. >> i doused all over the world.

and they are missing what is there. st actually an antenna system that goes right into ston heng. >> antenna system. >> human. >> not ours. >> nonhuman antenna system. >> alien? >> they are all over the world. >> are you telling me that buried around the earth are multiple alien antenna systems. >> spaceships. >> how many? >> thousands. >> thousands. >> what do you say to dousers who claim that their methods work because they found over 200 wells and a few alien space craft? >> i don't know how to respond to that. >> but what do you believe is under stonehenge? >> dirt, rock, maybe some water. >> i had to agree. sensing water under the ground is one thing but alien spaceships? it all seemed too crazy. until i found out that fake larry bird is making real larry bird paycheck. >> i wouldn't say 500 on the

average. >> you make $500 to wander around a field until you have to me and then say dig here? >> yeah. >> you know what, you are genius, man. >> $500. i guess it was time to stop being a fake journalist and start being a fake water witch. >> just one question, how quickly could larry teach me to use his racks on racks on racks rods. >> we come to the water line, your rod should open one way or the other or move one way or the other. >> mine is moving there. >> i'm definitely sensing a metal rod in my hand. >> why is it it going forwards-- towards you. >> i don't know. >> i suck at this. >> thank you so much for that, michael. when we come back, global activist greta thunberg will be joining me on the show. my hygienist cleans with a round head. so does my oral-b my hygienist personalizes my cleaning.

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and holding governments and leaders accountable for protecting the planet. and get this, she's only 18. greta thunberg joins us from sweden. greta thunberg, welcome back to the daily show. >> thank you so much. >> trevor: last time i spoke to you you had just ridden a catamaran across the ocean, what do you prefer, computing on a catamaran across the ocean or doing a zoom. >> i mean, it's nice, you to go on a catamaran but it is much more practical to do it as a zoom, to be honest. of course i have had my bad moments with zoom and online classes. and it gets a bit tiring sometimes is sitting every day on zoom. just watching your own face, it's not, it's not pleasant. >> trevor: gretta this is why i love having you on the show, you speak to my soul. you have had a whirlwind journey. obviously you have risen to prom thens as a climate activist, times person of the year, you've

been nominated twice for a nobel prize. in the past three years, has anything changed since i have seen you? have we made progress on the planet? where do we stand right now in your opinion? >> well, of course you can see it in many different ways but if we request look at one way that the tsh tsh it is still rising and 2021 is expected to see the highest emission rise ever recorded. as you know we have been through a pandemic and there is lots of talk about the green recovery and building back better and so be o. but only about two percent of government spending has been spent on clean energy. and that's-- i mean it just shows that we are not really taking this seriously, it seems like, or world leaders are not taking it seriously. >> trevor: i felt like for a long time polluters have done a good job convincing people on the ground that they are the ones responsible, what is your carbon footprint, what is your journey, what is your life, whereas the major polluters

themselves manage to move through the conversation unscathed. from a world leader's perspective, not people on the street, what should she be doing that they are not doing? within the basic thing of treating a crisis like a crisis. we climate activists have been saying that for many, many years now. and i think people haven't really understood that until the pandemic because i think in the life of the pandemic, we really see that we can actually treat the crisis like a crisis and i think people understand that more, that the climate crisis hasn't been treated as an emergency. st already taking lives and livelihoods from so many people and it is only going to get worse, but yes, as you say, it is a bit strange that the focus is on often on individual actions rather than actually systemic action and government action. >> there is a huge meeting coming up and that's going to be the cop gathering where some of the biggest nations are going to be gathering. i think it will be in scott land, discussing what leaders and what nations can do.

there are many leaders of many nations who have said it is just too expensive for countries to all of a sudden turn green, others have argued that you can't make enough, you can't generation-- generate enough energy from green sources, when you hear this, what do you think of or what is it that they are missing or maybe trying to avoid in their conversations? >> i mean i understand that the climate emerges-- it is very uncomfortable. it is not something that makes you popular. it is sort of an icebreaker. it doesn't-- people don't like you if you talk about the climate crisis. but when they say like these excuses like it's too expensive, climate action is too expensive, just look at the coronavirus pandemic, we were able to, it seemed like, just magically make up lots of money, out of nowhere. and it is much more expensive to wait and deal with the consequence of the climate crisis later on than actually

taking climate action now. and that is just something that many people seem to try to hide because it is very uncomfortable. and lots of economic interests are playing here. and these big players, they are not-- they are not kidding when they try to silence people who speak out on this. >> trevor: when you talk about it as greta, people listen, i do wonder on a personal level, do you ever get tired of being the perp who everyone expects to speak about climate clang? do you ever walk into the room at greta and scus want to talk about something you watched on tv and people are like gretta tell us about the compl weather and the climate, do you ever get tired of that? >> oh yeah, oh yeah. don't get me started. i'm so tired of talking about the climate by now, and people always try to tell me, like, that i should be impressed by them. like i took the bike to work toll today and they look at me like okay, i done care. i don't want to talk about this

any more. and it is really like that. >> trevor: if you were to say to somebody hey, here's how i think you could actually make a dirves as an individual, what would that advice be? >> just find out the truth. and if you fully understand the climate crisis, if you read enough that you understand, you will know what you can do as an individual. and then i think at least in my experience, most people who have become fully aware of the real impli kaigs of the climate crisis have become activists and gone out on the streets, organized themselves, whether it is joining an organization, or becoming a part of the future or just campaigning locally or online. people talk about the climate crisis as something depressing that makes people become numb and not want to do anything. in my experience, st the exact opposite, that is fully knowing what it actually means, is something that makes you want to do things. it makes you active.

>> before you let you go, i know you are going to be attending some big eventsk speaking to world leaders, i know you have planned major compliem at strikes in places like milan and germany, et cetera. so you have a lot coming up. but i wanted to ask you a few qis, everyone knows about greta thunberg when it comes to climate things, but i feel like i would like to know more about you as a person, so i have this little game that i deviced which makes no sense. which is what makes it a good game. and i am going to ask you to choose between one of two things. and which one is worse for the climate. all right, let's do it. >> tiktok versus snapchat, which one is worse for the climate. >> i don't-- i don't know, i don't have any of the apps. but i guess like-- . >> trevor: you have no tiktok, no snapchat. >> no, people tell me i need to get it, i'm like no. >> trevor: no, if you got tiktok will you never talk about climate ever again, you will just be like. >> that would be nice, actually. >> trevor: it's a lot of fun

but then greta what do you think about the planets and you will be like i don't know, but mere say cool video of a dog singing. >> nice, okay, then maybe-- dog singing is so much fun. >> the logo for snapchat is yellow and the logo for tiktok is black. >> trevor: we yns snapchat logo is brighter, that means it is consumes more energy when the screen lights up. >> trevor: wow, that is what i am talking about. snapchat, you cancelled. is all right, here is the next one. puppies or kittens. >> which one do you think is worse for the planet? >> oh no we can't say that. >> trevor: it is a tough one. >> i guess, i mean i guess dogs in general are bigger, they consume more food and i guess that's-- but if you start thinking that then are you screwed. you can't-- you can't-- you can't blame dogs. >> trevor: but i'm still going to go with dogs are cancelled.

out dogsk gretta you are dead, it is over for you, we're doing a great job here. >> i'm going to have to tell pie dogs that. >> trevor: okay. the eiffel tower or the stalt u of liberty, which one is worse for the planet? >> the eiffel tower has all the lights that come on at night, like a lot of lights. it it is beautiful, really gorgeous. >> yeah. >> trevor: the statue of liberty is burning that torch, burning it for a long time. >> burning, brn burning, carbon. >> so eiffel tower wins, this is good, this is what world leaders are going to be talking about when you get to the top and you will be prepared now because of me. >> thank you so much i really appreciate it. >> trevor: gretta thank you so much for the time, i really appreciate that you inspire me, and so many other people, so yeah, have a great night and good luck. >> likewise, thank you so much. >> trevor: thank you so much, gretta take care. all right, everyone, be sure to follow the hashtag friday for future to learn more about upcoming global climate strikes.

we will take a quick break but we will be right back after baaam. internet that doesn't miss a beat. that's cute, but my internet streams to my ride. adorable, but does yours block malware? nope. -it crushes it. pshh, mine's so fast, no one can catch me. big whoop! mine gives me a 4k streaming box. -for free! that's because you all have the same internet. xfinity xfi. so powerful, it keeps one-upping itself. why do nearly one million businesseso that? choose stamps.com to mail and ship? no more trips to the post office no more paying full price for postage and great rates from usps and ups mail letters ship packages anytime anywhere for less a lot less get our special tv offer a 4-week trial plus postage and a digital scale

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the public and advocating for solutions to the climate crisis. until tomorrow, stay safe out there, get your vaccine. and remember, if you get pulled over by the cops, you got to swallow that entire bucket of kfc. now here it is, your moment of zenness. >> the in massachusetts going viral after showing a picture of the bus the school had to rent to take students on a field trip, it is a party bus outfitted with a stripper pole. >> you know kids on that bus got up and guy rated on the stripper pole, of course they did. >> like a jungle gym in there. >> right, like a friday night in scots deal on the party bus. >> right. >> and i didn't even know what the pole was for. >> me too. >> the party bus, back in the day, back if the day. >> yeah.

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- being a delivery boy for the "south park gazette" is a noble privilege. - i'm sorry, mr. jarvis, it's just that i have to get up at 4 a.m. to deliver your paper and then i go to school all day. - oh, wah wah wah! we've all got problems, pussy! get used to it! you aren't delivering the papers on time! - my bike had a busted pedal, but i got it fixed, so there won't be a problem anymore.

- is that your bike out there? - yeah, why? - 'cause it's being towed. - what? hey, hey! what are you doing? - this your bike? - yes! - it's on the impound list. you owe the county for tickets. - [tow truck whirs] - no, dude, i need my bike to do my job! - yeah, well, my job is to tow this bike. you want it back? you talk to the county. - no, no. do not tow my bike! stop, asshole! nngh! ow! ah! ow! - [knock on door] - yes? come in. - hi, my name is stan marsh. i was told to come down here and try to-- - yes! come in, mr. marsh. i've been told all about your case. impounded bicycle; $83 owed to the county. maybe you should get a job. - i got a job, but without my bike to do my paper route, i can't make the money! see?