- ♪ hand-in-hand we can live together ♪ ♪ we shouldn't kill each other we're all the same ♪ - you are such a manipulative asshole, cartman. - yes, but i'm not going to die. ♪ that's why we gotta get along, people ♪ - ♪ we shouldn't kill each other ♪ ♪ 'cause we're all the same ♪ captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com - ♪ hand-in-hand we can live together ♪ ♪ we shouldn't kill each other 'cause we're all the same ♪ ♪ black or white, brown or red ♪ for us getting back to normal. like i really want us to get back to normal. however, the one thing i didn't think we would rush back to so quickly is shaking hands. i don't know about you guys but i would have been fine if that never came back. i don't understand who was like

pandemic! then i can't wait to get back to rubbing palms with a stranger. this is the first time i meet you, i don't know how you conduct yourself, but let my hand touch yours. yes, this is what we should be doing. guys, we invented a wave. i feel like the handshakes are the analog of greetings -- i don't know you till i feel you palm! hello, human! this is fine. fist bump. but this, this, this? no, trevor, i want to show you. i'll show you what i do with my hands one day and we'll see how much you want to shake my hands. >> coming to you from the heart of times square, the most important place on earth, it's "the daily show." tonight, china controls everything. fashion goes black. and davido! this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! >> trevor: hey! what's going on, everybody? i'm trevor noah and this is "the daily show."

today is september 28th. let's kick things off in europe. it's asia's foreskin. right now one of its nations has finally entered the 21st 21st century. >> swirtsline has become one of the last countries in western europe to legalize same-sex marriage. more than 64% of voters approved the change in a referendum sunday. >> this is an historic day for switzerland, an historic day for equal rights of people of the same-sex who love each other. >> trevor: yay! congrats to everybody in switzerland! i mean not for legalizing same-sex marriage, but just for finally taking a position on something. this is great. finally in switzerland, no one has to hide their love. now they will be able to devote their full attention to hiding nazi gold. it is good to hear a country legalizing something most people assumed was legal a long time ago. the same feeling i had yesterday when they said r. kelly is

convicted. i said, wait, that happened now? isn't that like ten years ago? so this wasn't a thing? it's weird that switzerland is so old fashioned of all places. they're the country that invented the world's most bangable cheese. you would think they would be loose. what? what are the holes for? why would they -- oh, wow. my bad. and you know, americans always assume europe is the most progressive place on earth until you see stuff like gay marriage being illegal in switzerland or france trying to ban hijabs. i think that's how powerful a european accent is. a european could be yelling slurs at an immigrant family and americans would hear them and be, like, wow, dude, what an enlightened man of culture, i've got to be better. but let's move on to the climate. it's no secret major climate disasters have been rising in the past decade from hurricanes to wildfires and even tweet

storms. according to a new study, this new pace isn't slowing down anytime soon. >> an alarming new study is shedding light on the long-term effects of climate change. the study published in the journal overscience finds that the average 6-year-old will live through three times as many climate disasters as someone born in 1960, includes twice as many bieferldz, three times more river floods and two and a half times as many crop failures. the study says the average child will encounter seven times as many heat waves as their grandparents. >> trevor: yeah, this study says children will live through three times as many climate disasters. imagine that. luckily, they will only notice half of them because they will only be on tiktok day, but still... also the good news for these kids is they can finally one up their grandparents' my life was so hard stories! back in 55, there was a blizzard with snow up to your neck!

>> bitch, that's an average tuesday. now give me my scoob aguirre, got to swim to school, dumb grandpa. but let's move on. the climate will kill us if we haven't killed ourselves. last year, we tried really hard to try to make that happen. >> the f.b.i. revealed today murder expwrumped 29% in 2020 compared to the year before the biggest increase since it began tracking the data six years sixs ago. more folks are forced to stay home because of covid lockdowns and increase in sun sales especially to first time buyers. property crimes were down for the 18th year in a row. one more reason, with more people at home, fewer houses are burglarized. >> trevor: this is not going to be a popular thing to say but this amount of murder actually seems reasonable to me, you know. i mean, think about it, people

were stuck at home with their family and with their roommates 24-7 for a year! that's a year of snoring, chewing loudly, arguing about whose turn it is to wipe the amazon packages. i'm shocked everyone didn't kill everyone. at some point during the lockdown i bet murder just made sense. if i kill my roommate, i go to jail, but at least i'll have my own cell? oooh... and by the way, it's funny how people don't talk about murder the way they talk about covid deaths. have you noticed that? you don't have any deniers being, yeah, he was shot in his home but he was old and had heart disease. are we sure it was the wallet that did it? i'm just saying, i need to do my own research. moving to the top story, we all love technology, it's what lets us secretly watch our airbnb guests while we're out of town. we also recognize technology has

unleashed a lot of social changes people are worried about. different countries have addressed these problems in different ways. in america, the government has talked a lot about regulating big tech, then taken huge campaign contributions from big tech and forgotten all about it. that's one approach. but one country has been taking much more drastic steps. and i'm talking about china. rising superpower and country that has held the world record for most chinese people for 4,000 years straight. china's government isn't hamstrung by annoying things like democracy or human rights, so when they see a problem, well, they go after it a whole lot harder. for example, cryptocurrency. everyone in the west is trying to figure out how to regulate cryptocurrency while respecting the free market. and now china's response is, uh, we have another idea. >> cryptocurrency is now illegal in china.

today, china's central bank declared all transactions involving bitcoin and other virtual currencies illegal. it's the latest effort from china to block the use of the unofficial digital money. chinese officials say cryptocurrency disrupts the financial systems and leads to money laundering and other crimes. >> trevor: man, you know crypto has issues when the chinese government thinks it's too shady. they're like everything needs to be by the books when we're selling authentic larry view ton bags! crypto is used for crimes and money laundering. on the other hand, people who are not criminals have also invested their savings into it and china just got rid of it one day without any warning. bam! it's gone! this reminds me from the time i came home from school and my mom had thrown out my entire porn collection. wait, i don't want to say porn collection. let's do it again and say baseball cards. yeah. when my mom threw out my entire

baseball card collection. yeah, that's better. it was a huge porn collection, though, man. oh, man, i miss it so much. but china isn't just worried about how its citizens spend their money, it's worried about how they spend their time. for example, people in china spend more time playing video games than any other country in the world, and now the chinese government is pulling the plug. >> kids in china will have their video game time greatly reduced not by mom and dad but by the chinese government. anyone under 18 is now limited to just an hour of online gaming per day on weekends and holidays between 8:00 and 9:00 p.m. all part of beijing's crackdown on gaming addiction. >> trevor: this is very short sighted of china, only three hours of video games a week? i mean, yeah, maybe your kids will get more fresh air and exercise, but they're going to

grow up having no idea how to catch a pokémon! a few years from now those things will be overrunning the cities. the poke mon are everywhere! there's something we have to do to them all! but what are we going to do? this is rough news for chinese gamers, although this is great news for me. yeah? looks like you won't be beating me in war zone tonight wejang 'cause you're not allowed to play till the weekend. guess i'm going to get my ass beat by a south korean teenager instead, bitch! ha ha ha! if you want to limit kids' screen time you just can't stop at video games. more and more they're spending time on social media apps like tiktok which is why china is bringing down the hammer on that, too. >> another tech crackdown for kids in china, doyin, a chinese version of tiktok, is limiting

users under 14 years olded to only a few minutes a day. >> the app will be restricted to 6:00 p.m. and 10:00 p.m., and inaccessible to users outside those hours. applies to all users registered with real names and age. >> trevor: wait, duyin is china's version of tiktok? i thought tiktok was china's version of tiktok? am i the only one who thought this? but this is bad news for duyin. i mean, if kids can only be online for 40 minutes a day, then the only people left on your app are going to be old people. let's be honest, you don't need two facebooks. look, i'm not one of those people who thinks china made tiktok so they could steal everyone's data and spy on their dance moves, but you have to admit it is a little weird they got the rest of us addicted, i've unwith in the world, then they turn to their kids, like, okay, you got to stop now. why? shhh, we'll tell you later.

the rest of us are just there like -- but aside from video games and social media, there's another obsession that china is particularly nervous about and that's celebrity fan culture. you know how celebrities all have these rabid devoted fan bases like the swifties or the believers or the bay hive? i also have my own fan group, yeah, they call themselves the trevor noah fans. i mean, not a great name, you know. i suggested something more fun like the noah mads or simple lings. they got mad and doxed me. it's a very toxic community. china is worried about how out of control the groups are getting so they're clamping down on that, too. >> china is cleaning up its entertainment industry clamping down on what it calls difficult i don't care fan culture. >> millions of young fans loyal to actors and singers are a lucrative force in china's

entertainment industry. now celebrity fan clubs have been the latest target of government regulators. authorities banned activities which encourage fans to spend money on favorite stars, online rankings and discussions about their salaries are also prohibited. state media newspaper the dploak times says fan clubs could be used to manipulate minds and split chinese society. >> trevor: whoa, whoa, people, people! if you ban the population from obsessively following celebrities, how will people -- how are people supposed to know what to buy, how to look or whose testicles are really swollen. do you know what you're doing here? i mean, look, i also get it from china's perspective. every minute chinese people spend idolizing celebrities is a minute they're not spending idolizing the communist party so xi jinping can either ban them or compete with them. let's be honest, competing with them is not going to work. anyway, for more on china's

crack drown we're joined by our senior international correspondent dulce sloan. what's going on, dulce? >> hey, trevor. >> trevor: dulce, we sent you to china to see the terrible effects of this crack darn on the people there. what are you seeing on the ground? >> i tell you what i'm seeing, trevor, i'm seeing a two bedroom apartment in downtown shanghai because i'm moving to china! >> trevor: why would you want to move to china? they're going to control every aspect of your life! this is oppression! >> why because you can't spend ten hours a day playing video games anymore? good. i am sick and tired of meeting men who have more achievements in grand theft autothan real life. >> trevor: some of those achievements are really hard to get because -- >> or how about somebody who owns more property in minecraft than they do on earth? i thought we were at your house and now we got to be quiet because your momma is still up? come on, man, these days men want to play video games 24-7.

all day they're, like, look behind you! nigger, your girlfriend is behind you. come on, man! >> trevor: maybe we do play too many video games but this crackdown goes beyond that. what do you say about the cryptocurrency ban? >> praise jeez, hallelujah, that's what i got to say. now when i'm out i don't have to be worried about listening to a loser talk about his doggy doin'. >> it's doje coin (pronouncing). >> it's a coin with a doge on it, don't make it fancy. >> trevor: one thing about you is you have a major crush on idris el ba. how are you going to feel when china tells you it's illegal to stand for id dries? >> i already gave id dries the best years of my life and what

do i have to show for it? he's married to another woman. i'm glad she's black but the nerve! the nerve! >> trevor: dulce, he doesn't even know you! >> oh, exactly! if i had been living in china i would have wouldn't have this broken heart. i wasted time when i could be married to den easily. that's why china is my home. >> trevor: i don't know if you want to stay in china. >> yes, i do. china makes me want to start a family. the only reason i waited was id dries is so busy. but also, you know, kids always nagging you for stuff and i always have to say no. but with china, i don't have any strength. you want tiktok? china says no. want to play call of duty? china says no. you want a cake for your birthday? china says no. >> trevor: i don't think china has banned birthday cakes. >> yeah, well, i ain't baking no damn birthday cake, so your present is that you're still alive. anyway, i got to go. there's a bunch of chinese

people here who think i'm oprah and i'm going to enjoy every minute of it. ( speaking chinese ) >> trevor: good luck in china. when we come back, roy wood, jr. is going to do a fashion show just for us. just for us. don't want to miss it. have you tried crunching? crunching gave me resting fun face. crunching solved my tan lines and frown lines. 100% real milk chocolate and crispy rice really works. crunching solved my midlife crisis. start crunching today! one crispy kentucky fried chicken sandwich for you and a delicious crispy spicy one for whoever needs a little kick in the keister. get the kentucky fried chicken sandwich in classic or spicy for just $3.99. it's finger lickin' good!

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cost support options. new york fashion week just came to a close, and to help commemorate it in our own way, we turn to roy wood, jr. for another episode of "cp time."

♪♪ ♪♪ >> oh. hello there. welcome to "cp time." the only show that's for the culture. today, we'll be discussing black fashion models. we all know the famous ones, naomi campbell, tara banks, i iman, and myself. this had is gucci. this vest is armani, and my shirt is ross dress for less. you eat as much mustard as i do you can't be droppings more than $5 on a button-up. but none of us would be here without the pioneers who broke into the industry. models like naomi sims, the first black supermodel. as a young woman in the 18960s, modeling agencies told

sims her skin was too dark to be a model. so she just went around the agencies and booked campaigns directly with fashion photographers. the best revenge is success. if that's not an option, drop dog doo-doo into their car through the sunroof. but i digress. sims graced the covers of many magazines which opened the doors for countless other black models like oprah winfrey who's on the cover of a magazine once a dang month. after sims left modeling, she made a fortune building a beauty empire featuring collections in cosmetics. she built her own venti before venti even existed. although like rihanna, she didn't have to deal all day long with people shouting at her, where's the damn album? seriously, though, rihanna, where is that album? of course, no black model was

quite as groundbreaking as tracy norman, a closeted transgender woman who became a widely successful model, which wasn't easy to do in the '70s. norman booked her first gig with trickery. she followed models into a casting call for italian vogue and pretented she was a part of the group. a risky maneuver. one my uncle bevo successfully used to sneak on to the first trip to the moon. he's still up there, trying to sneak his way back. we miss you on earth, uncle bevo! 1975, norman became a model for clairol air dyes born beautiful campaign. the box she was featured on became the company's biggest seller for six straight years. after being outed as trans in the 1980s, she was no longer able to book gigs, which is

absurd. if there was a problem with 1980s fashion, it wasn't trans women modeling. it was the leg warmers and the jheri curls and all those crazy patterns. spent half the decade in an epileptic seizure. but there is a happy ending. with public opinions shifting regarding the trans community, norman is finally getting her due. in 2016, clairol made her the face of their new ad campaign. that's right, clairol came crawling back -- like a bitch. finally, let's move on to tyson betford. arguably the most successful male fashion model ever. tyson was a modeling superstar of the 1990s, despite facing racism in the industry. he was almost mr. modeling gig because the person at the front desk thought that he was a

delivery man, and sent him to the wrong location, which is absurd -- you ever see a delivery man looking like that, watch out! you're in a porno. beckford's success moved him beyond runway shows and print campaigns. he also appeared in music videos zooming around on a motorbike in britney spears toxic and zooming around on a motorbike on tony braxton don't break my heart. oh, no no no! that's all the time we have for today. i'm roy wood, jr., and this has been "cp time." remember, we're for the culture. yes, it is hot dog time now. ♪♪ ♪♪ >> is gooch is it spelled with an h? >> trevor: when we come back,

international superstar davido will be joining me on the show. you don't want to miss it. you have all the ingredients for this in your fridge but ask yourself this... of all the times you've made it at home... has it ever tasted like our mcmuffin? ♪ba da ba ba ba.♪ kinder bueno? woooooow. it's crispy. it's creamy. it's not your average chocolate bar. smooth milk chocolate, crispy wafer and creamy hazelnut filling. it's kinder bueno.

alright, here we go, miller in motion. wha — wait, wait, is that a... baby on the field?? it looks like it, craig. and the defensive linemen are playing peek-a-boo. i've never seen anything like that before. harris now appears to be burping the baby. that's a great moment right there. the ref going to the rule book here. what, wait a minute! harris is off to the races! we don't need any more trick plays. touchdown!! but we could all use more ways to save. are you kidding me?? it's going to be a long bus ride home for the defense. switch to geico for more ways to save. there is something i want to ask you. oh um... it's going to be a long bus ride home for the defense. the new iphone 13pro is here, with the most advanced iphone camera ever. and i got it at t-mobile. whew, i thought you were going to talk about... 'forever'. this is a value that lasts forever. because when you get the new iphone at t-mobile, trade-in value is 'locked in'. so we can always have a new iphone? yes, so, what do you say, switch to t-mobile with me? yes! we are going to t-mobile. fall in love with iphone.

get it on us now and upgrade every two years forever. only at t-mobile. ♪ (peaceful music) ♪ ♪ ♪ (battle sounds from phone) ♪ ♪ (battle sounds stop) ♪ ♪ (dragon roar from phone) ♪ ♪ ♪ here we go now let's make our own way ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ now is the time and we'll make it okay ♪

♪ we can make our own way ♪ ♪ ♪ my guest tonight is nigerian-american artist and producer davido. he's here to talk about his latest album and how one of his songs became a protest in nigeriaia against police brutality. davido, what's up, dude. >> thank you, sir. >> trevor: i fight with everyone about this. someone says it's it's david-o,d others say daveed-o. >> the western part of nigeria they say david-oo, and in the south david-o, and in europe

daveed-o. but it's all good to me. >> trevor: just depending on where you are in the world. >> of course. >> trevor: i feel like you are lucky to have the ability to say that depending on where i am in the world. some people may not know you but millions do know you. you have millions of foe lowers on all your social media platforms. you have over a billion streams online. you have ascended to the upper echelons of afro beats which is the most dominant music now. >> i remember in 2016, when i first got my deal, in new york, i signed right here in new york, down the road in the sony building, and, you know, they were really not sure what the sound would be like, and i told them, i said, you guys might not understand now, but in a couple of years, this is going to be one if not the biggist, one of

the biggest genre's in the world. i did parts of the snong alabama and i remember, you know, back then one of my favorite bands from south africa was freshly ground. >> trevor: right. >> and nigeria. i was young, i went to the college at 16. so i remember in my dorm room, they're, like, yo, what's that? those drums is going hard! they sound good! so eventually, you know, it was appreciated. >> trevor: you know what i've appreciated about independent is the sense of pride that it has instilled in africans. for a long time, you know, i know as a south african, we always have this infear auditory complex. we were, like, oh, america is better than us. the u.k. is better. everything was better than us in africa. so even our music started to slowly morph into trying to copy what was overseas. >> exactly, yeah. >> trevor: but i've always gone like no matter who you are

in africa, you have to admit nigerians are the most confident on the planet. nigerians are like, no, our music will take over the world. what else it about minoringia that you think made that possible? >> i want to shout out to the nigerians in the diaspora. the africans who live not in nigeria, the ones in america, europe, london. >> trevor: i bumped into nigerians in russia. >> anybody in the world -- i love this table -- everybody in the world has a nigerian friend. >> trevor: definitely. >> i think even in atlanta with my music, personally, it kind of started from atlanta -- it started from nigerians being in the club and telling the deejays, like, yo, i want to spend $50,000 today. but play davido's music.

>> trevor: wow. it was a deep love for the music. >> yeah, just from that. and then it got to, yo, we're in a club, a female goes to the deejay, yo, play this song. people in the diaspora, doing that for us, and then us coming -- >> trevor: right. >> i remember in 2013, sold out every venue, sold out every venue, that this is without exposure. >> trevor: right. >> so i remember live nation calling my -- the company calling my manager like yo, what's going on? >> trevor: who is this guy? >> we don't know this guy. he's come from america, done 20 shows, sold out. i give shout out to the people who support us. >> trevor: i feel you, man. >> nigerians, i don't know what it is but they don't play with us. >> trevor: you know, what i appreciate is how interconnected it has all become. one of the most, you know,

glaring examples of this was during the george floyd movement in america, it swept the globe. you started seeing people protesting in paris, london and then one of the biggest protests happened in nigeria. it was the end sars movement. this was huge. people were going, you know, nigerians coming out saying we demand more from our government, our police, and your song -- >> crazy. >> trevor: -- it was a song you had written about your haters but it became the anthem of the movement. >> yeah. >> trevor: i think it also changed something in you as a person and artist because you became very outspoken. >> i did not record that song thinking that was going to happen. >> trevor: right. >> that's the honest truth. it's amazing how i saw my voice be an instrument for people. it was amazing. i got in a lot of trouble. >> trevor: i can only imagine. >> i got in a lot of trouble. i had to actually leave the country, it was that bad. i got in a lot of trouble

because -- >> trevor: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> put, you know what i'm saying, it was amazing to see people come on like that. i'll say this -- they listened. they heard us. they might not have changed nothing, but they were shook. >> trevor: that is amazing. >> you know what i'm saying. i hope, you know, i see a lot of young future leaders coming up in the next general elections coming up, which we have to do, but things are going to change. >> trevor: my dude, with people like you leading the charge with artisan musicians getting in the conversation, with, as you say, the diaspora communicating with each other, anything is possible. >> sure. >> trevor: thank you for joining hi on the show, coming out, congratulations on your global citizens appearance, amazing to see you doing that. i know you will be on the show in the u.s. i'm coming to your shows. >> i'm coming to yours. >> trevor: thank you so much. i appreciate you. >> thank you for what you're doing for africa. >> trevor: my dude.

>> we'll keep doing it. >> trevor: don't forged, davidoo's album is available now. now. we'll take a q why do nearly one million businesses choose stamps.com to mail and ship? no more trips to the post office no more paying full price for postage and great rates from usps and ups mail letters ship packages anytime anywhere for less a lot less get our special tv offer a 4-week trial plus postage and a digital scale go to stamps.com/try and never go to the post office again

>> reporter: that's our show, but before we go, voting is about to close in the second annual pandemmy awards, where we

honor the most breathtaking achievements of the pandemic. what will take home the pandemmy for best original covid treatment, ivermectin or bleach? which unruly airline passenger will win best mile high meltdown? and which school board rant will get the pandemmy for outstanding performance by a concerned citizen? head over to pandemmy awards.com to see the final contestants and to cast your votes. and then follow us online to find out who wins. i am just kidding. we all lose. until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember, if you're thinking of murdering someone, think again. that's so last year. now, here it is -- your moment of zen. ♪♪ >> if someone wants to say, well, it's just a horse dewormer. it's not, it's a human dewormer, too. there's a lot of folks who don't remember the scotch tape test.

i remember being about five years old and i remember mom laying me on my belly going to bed at night and she would put a piece of scotch tape doubled around and stuck it in my anus and say we'll check it in the morning and if there were pin worms on it i got treated. it's not so bad. ( laughter ) ♪ ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ - ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪

all: ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ ♪ happy birthday, dear stan ♪ ♪ happy birthday to you ♪ [cheers and applause] - all right, now come on, open presents, open presents! - yeah, open mine first, stan. it's the red one. - where's mine? where's mine, where's mine, where's mine? - here you go, sweetie. - yay! - wait, wait. it's stan's birthday. - yes, every time somebody gets a birthday present, eric gets one too. otherwise... [whispering] he gets a little upset. - what i get, what i get what i get? - oh, god. - oh, cool, legos. thanks, butters. - i know how you like legos. happy birthday! - oh, cool, i got a racing a game for xbox. you guys see that? cool, huh? - here, this one's from me, stan. - oh, thanks, dude. - stan's getting another present, mom. - here you are, muffin. - yay! oh, cool, look! a ben 10 wrist rocket! that's exactly what i wanted for stan's birthday! what'd you get, stan? - oh, cool! is this the new gersploosh album? - yeah, dude! - uh, hold it.