wds yet? only time will tell. but we must not forget the sacrifice one person made to restore our faith and make us believe in the economy once again. the person we must thank every day for his amazing sacrifice: barack obama. [crowd cheering] - aw, come on! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com >> trevor: great news by the way, the world health organization has announced that they now have a vaccine for mall aria. yeah. -- mall aria, that is-- that is not the enthusiasm i was hoping for but i guess as americans you guys are just like oh, who cares. this is huge for africa, people. you know how many people die of malaria in africa, that is just it, it is on now. and you know, you see, this is, whoever made this vaccine figured out the way to make vaccines. because they were like oh, it has taken us a hundred years to make this malaria vaccine, everyone in africa is like we

need that vaccine, we need that vaccine, that is what they should have done with covid, that the problem with the pfizer, moderna they made it look too easy, they made it look way too easy. they were like oh yeah, we're going to try to make a vaccine, we got it. and america is like i don't want it. what they should have done has been like hi guys, we got 50 at best. not everyone is going to get the vaccine. so let's hope for the best. and america will be like i will kill you for that vaccine. scarcity, my friend. that is what they should have done. malaria gone, boom, now what are mosquitoes are going to doing nothing. i was on the edge of being biten by a mosquito where i didn't know how it was going to end. it was like a weird, you know, every time i would geten by pos quito any time i was traveling in africa i would be like is this the day? now it's just like this is just

going to ich. >> coming-- ithc. coming to you from the heart of time square, the most important place on earth, it is the daily show, tonight the government makes it rain, and monica lewinsky. this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. >> trevor: hey, what's going on, everybody, well-- welcome to the daily shorksz i'm trevor noah, let's jump straight into today's headlines. we kick things off with the public library. the best place to find a dated poster of ll cool j, as much as people love libraries they don't like the fines that pile up when they forget to return a book. like the nicest, gentlist people in the world and they just spring on you, st like enjoy the cat and the hat, sweetie and have it back by tuesday or i will [bleep] drown you in debt. well, now some libraries are throwing in the towel. >> the nation's largest public

library system says it is dropping all late fees for overdue books and other borrowed material forever. in addition library card holders have had their accounts wiped clean of any earlier fines. the idea is to encourage more people to use library resources, a spokesperson said that for people who can afford them, fines do little to encourage returning books on time. but for people who are struggling financially those fines become a barrier to using libraries. >> 300 library systems across the country have already cancelled fees and while they typically generate 3 to 4 million dollars a year here in new york library officials say they can make up the difference from other revenue sources. >> wow. no more late fees. that is actually really exciting. i have never been to a bookless library before. no, this is actually great news, all right, instead of late fees just piling up forever, they will just charge you the price of the book, so you never return it, which makes the whole library experience so much more relaxed, you know. lining i love libraries but

there are so many rules. so many rules, no talking. mo smoking. no krrks ock fighting rings, loosen up, people, although i will be honest, i will kind of miss late fees, it was the only thing forcing me to finish my library book, if i didn't have that nickel a week hanging over me i would never find out why that caterpillar was so hungry. i actually never found out. and like they said, libraries don't need late fees. they can find other sources of revenue. you know, like i don't know, a vending machine that only sells food you eat quietly. or renting out hollow books for assassins to keep their guns in, hell, they could start renting outline rathers on airbnb. i think it is a perfect idea. it is quiet, there is furniture, you can have sex in it, there is a 75 year old woman who live there who you can talk to but don't have to talk to. st just like an air bmb. moving on, these days we talk a lot about systemic racism and how subtle discrimination is

baked into all levels of society. but it is important to remember that america is not all like that. there is also very obvious one-on-one racism. >> so imagine moving your family into your dream home to start a new life only to find yourself subjected to nonstop harassment from your new neighbor. that is what a black family in virginia beach has been living with. they describe an escalating campaign of racial slur, loud music and monkey noises. >> . ♪ from now on if a person uses the word [bleep] it it must be at least seven-- words away from the word god. >> whenever we would step out of the house the monkey noise was start, so racist t is disgusting. like i don't even know how to explain it. the minute i open my front door his lights blink or my music or my song comes on. >> local police say while the behavior is appalling st not criminally actionable. >> trevor: are you shitting

me. i can't even believe that this is a real story in real life. and honestly, i find this kind kind of racism so baffling. this guy may be playing loud music and noises to harass his neighbors but is he the one closest to the music and loud noises, like is your racism really worth it if you can't even have a conversation in your own house. >> hey, honey, i'm really ruining life for that black family. >> what? no, i'm not coming back from anything. >> no, the black family. >> i'm going deaf. >> i love you too. >> trevor: and i'm sorry, man, but the police claiming that they can't do anything. that is such bullshit. why don't they use one of those vague laws that they charge black people with all the time like disturbing the peace or your house has a broken tail light, sir. but yeah, i guess some people are just assholes and without the police on their side the martinez family doesn't have a lot of options to stop the music and the monkey noises from

playing. although one thing they could do is release some actual monkeys into the neighborhood. yeah, cuz think about trk being racist is fun million a monkey hears mating sounds next thing you know your racist ass is getting pounded by a monkey all because you didn't want black neighbors. and finally for the big celebrity news everyone is talking about. no, not britney finally being able to watch pg13 movies. i'm tuck being the radical interior decorating of poch star megland trainor. >> when are you married it can often feel like you do everything together with your significant other, you know watching shows, going shopping, you name it. but one celebrity, let's just say this couple is taking it to the next level when it comes to togetherness. singer meghan trainor had two toilets installed next to each other in her bathroom so she and her husband can go to the bathroom at the same time. >> we've only pooped together twice. >> we pee at the same time a lot. >> trevor: white people. this really shows you how different relationships can be,

right, you have some people who are like i never fart in front of my spouse and you have other couples going honey, i just booked a couples dump for later tonight and i hope to see you there. and get that, they poop together not once but twice. i mean twice says a lot. twice says did you it once, and then looked at each other like we should do that again. and they think this brings them closer as a couple but i also think it could back fire, queue the pun like if her husband ever gets constipated, she's going to think he's having an affair. all i'm saying is i would never do this, i only poop the normal way, next to a stranger with a one1-inch wall between us. how god intended. but let's move on to our top story. money. it is why you use used to leave dead teeth under your pillow like a psychopath. and now congress is fighting over how much to spend. >> president biden is launching a public campaign for massive social spending bill and working behind the scenes to make it smaller. telling fellow democrats that

the multitrillion dollar plan will have to be cut by more than one-third. >> he and house democrats spent the morning discussing what to cut in order to secure the sloats they need. >> this is like saying pick your favorite child. these are good programs. >> democrats told the president they're most wedded to the bill's new climate protections. paid family leave, universal pre-k and an extension of the child tax credit. but that leaves other measures in limbo. including two free years of community college and adding dental and vision coverage to medicare. >> republicans are unified in their opposition to the plan. >> what our colleagues are proposing and planning is absolutely jaw-dropping. >> trevor: i mean i don't actually have a jaw but if i did, it would be droching right now. yeah, but that's right, the democrats are fighting with each other over how to spend the government's money and the republicans don't want things to be spending any money.

and as alwaysk whenever there is a debate in america, the two sides retreat to their echo chambers, instead of sitting in a room and talking things out, and i will be honest, i'm guilty of that too. like in my family, we don't a imree on anything politically. i've got two brothers, one of them is way more liberal than me. the other one is super conservative it and we have always lost the ability to hash thingses out. so i have decided that instead of being part of the problem, i'm going to try being part of the panel. now brand new segment, disagree to agree. >> well, trey, trevarious, thank you for joining me on the show. >> glad to be here cuck. >> i am not a cuck but thank you and welcome, trey. >> thank you, cuck. >> trevor: you too? >> yes, but i'm saying it in a good way, don't be ashamed of your kinks, trevor.

i honor your kikiness. >> trevor: i'm not ashamed and i'm not a cuck. >> what you should be ashamed of is being a shill for the corporate media. what are your masters at viacom telling to you plug today, huh. >> trevor: nothing, they don't tell me to plug any-- well, actually there is 24 new show on paramount plus, a new star trek show and-- no, you know what, that is not important. that is not important, all right. let's just get to the subject at hand. i know you both have strong opinions on biden's spending bill. so i just wanted to hear your thoughts. >> my thoughts of is that we are broke ass bitches, trevor. this country is already 29 trillion dollars in debt. we can't be spending another $3.5 trillion we don't have. >> i am not going to take counting advice from the guy who thinks trump won by 97 jabrillion votes. besides all of these programs will be fully paid for with the tax increases on the rich.

are. >>. >> we're coming for that billionaire money like the grimes. >> here we go go with the raising taxes on the wealthy. guess what, the wealthy the job creators. if you keep taxing them, they are not going to create jobs. >> what jobs? you mean the guy who designs jeff bezos penis ship, we don't want those kinds of jobs. it is time for the rich to stop leeching off of this country. mother [bleep] you are rich, do not call me the r word. i am upper, upper middle class, okay. >> trevor: okay, okay, guys, guys, calm down. bring it down, this is getting messier than that time we all tried to fly out of mom's birth canal at the same time. so let's slow this up. trevarious, here is my question. if the spending bill is fully paid for, that's a good thing. you have to admit, right? >> i don't admit. because the democrats are using a bunch of accounting tricks to make it look like it's paid for,

but it's not. trust me. i broke into the budget office or january 6th. i sue the protection-- projection. >> trevor: i wish you hadn't confessed that on air. >> look, i'm sorry. i don't live in a fantasy world where all this spending won't cost anything, and won't cause inflation to explode. i mean have you seen the price of gas lately? >> i life a tres la. >> i drive a tesla jinx, well done, well done, but if anyone is driving in a fancy world, st you right wingers. you have no idea what it is like for the average person out there. you want everyone to go back to work. but how are they supposed to do that when child care in this country is basically cocomelon on an ipad. that is why we need this bill. >> okay, hold up. why should my tax dollars help you raise your gender gnaw tral kids. they're not my kids. i decided not to have any. >> you decided? not to have any? your wife left you.

>> hey. >> we mutually decided to kick me out of the house. by the way trevor, thanks for letting me crash. >> trevor: i got you man, i got you. you do have to admit, some of these programs make sense. i mean like paid sick leave, don't people deserve that? >> look, america has the greatest economy in history because people go to work, whether they are sick or not. it has worked for 200 years, let's not [bleep] around with it now. >> you realize that basically every developed country already has this stuff, right? this isn't like a novel idea. >> yeah, you know who else has all of this stuff? venezuela, that is what happened when the government promises to take care of everything for everybody. get the wheelbarrow of cash, honey. we got to buy a slice of bread. >> trevor. >> so you don't think that. >> venezuela, venezuela. >> should have an opportunity within venezuela, venezuela.

>> is your basically. >> vedges vens. >> that there are services that could help them to live in a world where they don't have the sur vieferls to find. >> venezuela, vens. >> trevor: guys, i see why chuck todd always looks so tired. >> you know what trevarious, maybe are you not affected by children or sick people but the issue that does affect you is climate change. and yes, this bill spends a lot of money on climate change now. but if we don't pass it, we'll be spending a lot more money when miami goes underwater. and i am pretty sure pitbull can't swim. >> oh, so now you care about miami. you told me you wanted to saw florida off into the ocean. >> i didn't say that. i just tweeted a gif of bugs bunny doing that. it is completely different. it is a joke. >> trevor: guys, look. i don't think we're going to come to an agreement here today. so if you don't mind, can you

give me your final thoughts. >> look, this is the bottomline. we're creating an entitlement mentality in this country. if you just give people free stuff, they have no incentive to work for it. within but we have people working two jobs who still can't afford to live. >> exactly. and that incentivizes them to get a third job. the system works. >> you know what i find rich. >> yourself. >> what i find rich is how you keep saying that there is no money left but when conservatives win power, you spent that money like you won the powerball. >> you see, we had to spend that money. because we knew that when you came in you would waste it allness guys, guys, you are obviously far apart on all of these issues. but you must recognize that for anything to get done in this country people are going to have to compromise and find some common ground and work together, right?

>> that sounds like some weak centrist bullshit to me. >> that's right, you sound like a little bitch, trevor. >> trevor: at least you agree on something. thanks for joining me, guy. when we come back, we'll find out how hollywood really works. and monica lewinsky will be scoining me on the show. you don't-- will be joining me on the show. you don't want to miss that. >> i will only come back because you made me. >> with my money. with my money? with my money? >> get a better yeah, that's half the fun of a new house. seeing what people left behind in the attic. well, saving on homeowners insurance with geico's help was pretty fun too. ahhhh, it's a tiny dancer.

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created a remote learning program except ours gives calculus and grammar, skips it in favor of lessons that you will actually need in life. so grab a pencil and a pen, and prepare to ta tend another class of remotely educational. >> how hollywood works. this is hollywood. home of the major motion picture studios who produce all your favorite movies. the film making process begins with a writer's idea for a new story. the writer toils day and night to turn that idea into a script. the studio then throws away the script and green lights the reboot of an older idea. after the script is selected, the movie is cast with children of celebrities and actors the producers want to have sex with. now that the movie is cast, it's time to go into production. in atlanta. where tax advantages and lower wages attract all of hollywood's left wing executives. once the movie has been shot, a rough cut is sent to beijing where they make sure the film

doesn't offend party sleedership, then the red carpet premary with stars dressed in eke wear and a wide release with the general public dressed in sweat pants and finally buried deep in the menu of a streaming service that few pem will ever find it. but that's all right, because chances are the movie was terrible anyway and that is how hollywood works. >> all right, when we quosm back, monica lewin quee-- will winsky will be joining me on the show, you don't wa

(vo) singing, or speaking. reason, or fun. daring, or thoughtful. sensitive, or strong. progress isn't either or progress is everything. there is something i want to ask you. um... the new iphone 13 pro is here, and when you get the new iphone at t-mobile, trade-in value is 'locked in' forever. we can always have a new iphone, forever? fall in love with iphone. when you get one now, you can upgrade every two years forever.

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lewinsky. >> i can see the physical toll my weight pluck yaiting, probably like 105 pound ms. that picture. the mex few months was me going to counseling, me trying to figure out how to walk on america university's campus while constantly being triggered every single day that i'm there. >> trevor: monica lewinsky, welcome to the daily show. >> thank you, trevor, nice to be here. >> trevor: it is say pleasure to have you here. before we get ploo this, i did want-- does everybody call you monica lewinsky always? >> no, i guess in a professional setting, in an interview, maybe. people either do that or i have always felt people very familiarly will call me monica. >> trevor: let's talk about the reason you are on the show today, 15 minutes of shame, a new documentary show premiering on hbo max tomorrow, that

del-of-s into a subject that you yourself shall you refer to yourself as patient zero. >> uh-huh. >> trevor: you say i am the patient zero-of-this whole thing. and really you were, because your story blew up right when the internet was really becoming a thing, information was flying across the globe. and so my first question to you as a human in this, why would you want to go back into that, why ould you want to del-of-back into a story that can i only assume was one of the worst stories of yr life. >> i think had my life unfold-- unfolded differently and had there been a different path that allowed me to get back under more normal developmental path or to get a job and move forward in life, i'm not 100 percent sure i would be an anti-bullying advocate at the moment. but really what happened tor me ksh-- for me was after graduate school i realized that i couldn't run away from what happened. i had to integrate it it and i had to do a lot of work around

that. and in the process of that, am that time span, it just became clear that what happened to me, and i made a mistake, but what happened to me was now happening to many other people, especially young people, it's not easy. this isn't easy for me to do. but it is important, i think it is important work. and when i lear from people that it's been meaningful, whether it is a teacher who has helped a student or something else, and i think that is me and everybody who is working in this space, it of course is worthwhile. >> you know what is really interesting about this subject for me is the concept of being shamed online is one that i feel is constantly going to evolve, in that what i love about the storm that you helped create is you take us through the story and the journey of shaming. you know, you take us to a time before internet, before newspapers,-- be-- here we are, we will tar and feather, stone people in a public square, there is always the idea of shaming the person with that punishment.

but you know, as the internet has grown, the thing i have often said to people is there was a world where it would be celebrities or people who are in some status position who will be shamed. but because of social media, st only inevitable that everybody will achieve some level of celebrity that will then enable them to be shaimented on the same left. i feel like that is what you talked about in these stories, it has gone from being president and actor it to now just being a high school girl, to now just being a man who works in a factory. to now just being somebody who took a picture with their family and the picture was taken the wrong way. that seems like a change in how society is looking at who to bully and who to shame. >> absolutely. you are 100 percent right. i think that one of the factors, and we do take people through this, in the film. is around the idea of how shame had been used since the beginning of time as a social tool. and when the printing press was invented, it all of a sudden

leapfrogged into being something that could now be commodityized. and once the tabloid culture bled into every area of our culture, leading up to princess diana's death which, was you know, a function of paparazzi live am that world, the tabloid world. that is where their income comes from. and so there was that moment. and that was only five months before 1998. so we didn't make a cultural shift. and the internet being there when '98 happened, it then grew from there. but i think what we're seeing now too is that this is very much about power, right. it's about, like are there people in power who should face consequences. >> trevor: right. >> absolutely. but are there people who are not in positions of power who are facing the same consequence. and it is ruining their lives in a way that is very different. yes to that too. and i'm not sure. i think, so it is not only people in power but also the power too that we have as

citizens, as people, right. but you know, i think i don't know how you feel about cancel culture and kind of the term cancel culture, but i think for me it has become a little too broad. >> trevor: i think when i look at it it, i think everyone says cancel culture and it seems like it embodied everything. i think sometimes it is consequences, sometimes it is criticism. and i think it has become a broad term that doesn't enable us to have better conversations about which aspect of it we want to monitor. >> i agree 100%. >> trevor: i love in the film you specifically don't just go guysk let's not use the internet and let's not-- let's not poke at people. you talk about all the upsides. >> i think there really is a kind of beauty and the beast to the internet. and we see it with look at the social change that is happening. we call it shaming for change, around hashtags with me too or black lives matter. that that is, that kind of power, that can come from the

social tool, is-- shame as a social tool is invaluable. and that is giving a power to people who haven't had a voice for a long time. to hold others accountable. but then you do have instances, you know, we have all shades of imrai mr. the film, including the clip that you showed, it is somebody who never made a miss-- mistake, the opposite, she did everything you were supposed to do and then some and faced this just horrific, horrific white sprem-- white spremmist mob-- sue premmist mob. >> one any i have been i have been publicly shamed, on both sides of this, i have had my canceling moment and all of that. but i know that i have also been part of mob. and what is interesting is when you are in the mob though, there is a disconnect between you and the human. and so you don't even realize the size of the pebble that you are throwing because it gets combined with everything else. i remember back in the day, oh,

tiger woods, i got a joke about tiger woods, i will tweet this, because it is funny, just me, by myself and then it gets amplified, as you say. >> exactly. >> you don't realize that you have become part of a thing. where if you step back, if you saw somebody's life and saw the mob you were a part of. you may go whoa, whoa, i didn't mean to do that to somebody, i thought it was harmful-- harmless, meaningless but it went to one human being. is that like, as somebody who experienced it it, is that why it was important to you to show the people behind the story to understand the story holisticically? >> absolutely. i think not only-- i think really what is self-important is for people to understand what happens when you are shaming, and what does it feel like it to be on the receiving end of that tidal wave of negativity. and it's not even-- it's exacerbated from being just shame but also can be violent. you know, so i mean that violence doesn't just live particularly for women, it doesn't always just live online.

so i think too that there was, you know, we don't get to know these people of who they were the moment before. whatever it is happened happened. right. and so i think in the same way, and i understand that, i was, i didn't have much of a history to, you know, what happened it to me in 98. this was my first job out of college, so you know, there wasn't much there. but that sense of, and that is one of the really emotionally devastating experiences around having a shaming like that is that feeling, the irony of being so seen and not being seen at all for who you truly are. >> trevor: yeah, i know exactly what you are talking about. >> so i think that there is-- and we haven't-- . >> trevor: you spend all your time trying to claw back the you that people don't see. >> exactly. >> trevor: because they have defined you now. everyone goes this is who you are, and you go no, no, no, i grew up like this and have i parents, family, friends, i make good decisions, do you know what i mean.

>> yes, and in that way your narrative runs away from you, your identity is stolen and i think are you so right about the mob mentality. one of the things, i don't know, maybe it is written somewhere, but i am fascinated by this idea of, you know, did people in stoning time, did people pick up more than one stone or was it they threw one stone and they had the moment of seeing the person's reaction, you know, and energetic feeling of someone, what it felt like to be hit by that stone. i don't know. but today with, they call it the online-- effect so this sense of what happens online is that because you are dealing with a screen and not another person, you take on a different identity that a lot of these behaviors and the ways, the see empathy and peel empathy are just, you are unable to see that. you are unable to feel it online. >> you know what i think it is. i think if we are not careful as people, we stop seeing each other as people and then we live in a world where we take on

these avatars as humans. we go after the other humans. we don't realize it is happening and we are all walking around with traumas and ptsd and anxiety but that is not who we actually are. it is like a fake polarization that is happening. so before i let you go, i would love to know, as somebody who experienced obviously the greatest level of public shaming that human beings have seen, across continents your name was uttered. i would love to know how you figured out a way to go you know what, i am monica lewinsky, everyone has made these shitty jokes about me, the whole country at some point was saying this, but you know, i'm going to reclaim my narrative, hugh did you do that? >> it was definitely not a straight line for that. and it is not a linear process at all. so i think that it happened for me, it happened in stages. because also my, my ability to teen see and understand what had happened to me and the consequences of some of those

things didn't become apparent for years, for a decade. it wasn't until i got out of graduate school, i had a masters in social psychology, from london school of economics, and i couldn't get hired. >> wow. >> and you know, so then i started to realize oh, this is a lot more damage to what had happened than i had realized at that point. and i didn't set out to reclaim my narrative. i set out to heal. and healing for me was, i mean i would try anything, i did a lot of consciousness and energy work, also had a lot of therapy. so i think it was this process. and as i changed, the world was also changing. but it eventually became, it was around seeing what was now happening, this new landscape online to other people that made me realize well, there maybe some validity or some help, if i'm the poster child for having been publicly shamed, and my life may not be great right know, but i'm still here.

that might help someone and so that sort of began the process and it it was actually the younger generation, you know, i was gradeen carter gave me a chance to twriet a first person assay in "vanity fair" in 2014, and what that meant was i wasn't going to be defined through a journalists eyes, i was going to define myself. i was going to say what i wanted. and it was the younger generation who insisted that the older generation who had really been around at the time said whoa, let's stop and have a rethink about 24 situation. not to say i shouldn't have had some blame, i certainly tried to take responsibility for those things. but the idea that i bother more responsibility and more, the consequences were way worse for me than they were for the most powerful man in the world, and some of the other people in the scandal, all 20 years older than me, is insane. so i-- you know, and i hope from

all the projects i do, that this documentary with american crime story and-- and anything else, that it just kind of chips away at what it is that happened o me so that can't happen to someone else. >> trevor: i feel you there. i appreciate you. i really do. thank you for taking the time. >> thank you, thanks, trevor. >> trevor: thank you for making us ask a few questions about ourselve. because i think the mistake we make sometimes in society is we like to make it seem like other people are always shitty but i think we all have a little shi it ttiness inside and what it is and how it contributes to being a giant rock that we are throwing at other people. thank you for telling the story, thank you for healing and thank you for joining in the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: it has been wonderful having you. >> thank you. >> trevor: 15 minutes of shame will be available to stream on hbo max october 7th. we will take a quick break but will be right back after this and there you have it- woah. wireless on the most reliable network nationwide. wow. -big deal! ...we get unlimited for just 30 bucks.

sweet, i get that too and mine has 5g included. that's cool, but ours save us serious clam-aroonies. relax people, my wireless is crushing it. that's because you all have xfinity mobile with your internet. it's wireless so good, it keeps one upping itself.

tonight. but before we go this week is meantal illness awareness week, so please consider supporting the acheoma project, for teens a and young adults of color as well as educating youth and their families on the importance of mental health. if you want to support them in this work than please donate at the link below. aakoma, until tomorrow, stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember, life is short, so tonight, sit your loved ones down, and poop with them. just poop. now here it is, your moment of zen. >> what you said about your korean background reminded me a lot of what my daughter am law of 45 years has said. and if i learned anything from korean people it is the hard work ethic and how you can make

a lot out of nothing. so i congratulate you and your ♪ ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ - ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪

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hey, sorry. ♪ should we tell him? you noticed it. you tell him. i can't do it. you do it! you do it! you do it! you do it! hey. you've got a little... lipstick on your teeth. ok, rude. it's moving day. and while her friends are doing the heavy lifting, lipstick on your teeth. jess is busy moving her xfinity internet and tv services. it only takes about a minute. wait, a minute? but what have you been doing for the last two hours? ...delegating?

oh, good one. move your xfinity services without breaking a sweat. xfinity makes moving easy. go online to transfer your services in about a minute. get started today. at jiffy lube, it's our job to keep you