are all moving in the wrong direction. consumer prices were up by 6.2% in october there from the year before. let me walk you through some of the individual items. look at computers and smart home assistants, up more than 8%. televisions up more than 10%. washers and dryers, up nearly 15%. >> we are paying more for energy. we are paying more to heat our homes. we are paying more for housing. when we go to the grocery store, we are paying more for beef, eggs, food, used cars, new cars, trucks as well. the president taking a harder line saying inflation hurts american's pocketbook and reversing this trend is a tom priority for me. >> trevor: yeah, guys, inflation is becoming a real problem. i went to a gas station today, and for a gallon of regular, it just said kill yourself. now, some critics are saying that america's inflation problems are president biden's fault. here's the issue with that argument: almost every country

in the world is dealing with this issue. which means president biden is actually screwing up the entire world! but whether his policies have contributed to inflation or it was always going to happen when society emerged from the pandemic, this is a big danger to biden politically, because inflation is the one economic concept that normal people actually care about. like, the debt ceiling, the federal reserve, derivatives-- that's all just shit we pretend to understand. "the debt ceiling, the debt ceiling." but when you hear inflation's rising, you know it means you're about to be a broke bitch. the only good part of inflation is that i was always jealous of those old guys who would go, like, "back in my day, you could buy a house with a dollar!" it looks like now if inflation gets bad snuff, we'll get to be those old guys: "oh, yeah, back in my day, a million dollars could buy a whole lot more than a haircut!" but, look, yes, material goods are increasing in price. and that is why, people, it is important to value the things that are always free, like spending time with your family,

or robbing people. the important things in life, roy. >> the thing with inflation, though, man, honestly, i think that's why people appreciate hand-me-downs. that's where i came from was a hand-me-down culture. i ain't worried about shit going up in price, because i always knew that i was going to get my older brother's shit. >> trevor: that's how we lived. >> got an older of brath arthur. he has a dan marino jersey. and i'm going to get that bitch sooner or later. >> trevor: i thought you were going to tell me that you-- good for you, roy. >> i'm still-- i'm still waiting on it, though, man. i'm going to get that datn jersey, man. also, the other issue is that, like, honestly, $20 don't do what it used to do. i'll give inflation that. i'm not panicked about inflation but i will admit $20 don't do what it used to do. back in '93, your mother could

drop you at the mall with $20 and you could live at the mall for three days and come back with change. you could get a flintstone push-up, two pairs of jordans, you could get your mugsy bose t-shirt, and still have money to see "boyz in the hood." >> trevor: you have a fantastic memory. but let's move on to another big story rippling through washington: the relationship between democrats and republicans in congress isn't in a great place right now, which i guess is what happens when one side nearly gets the other side killed by a viking. but now a republican from arizona has sent out a tweet and something tells me it's not going to make things better. >> republican congressman paul gosar of arizona under fire for posting a photoshopped anime video depicting him attacking and killing democratic congresswoman alexandria ocasio-cortez. the video also depicts gosar's character attacking president biden. >> house speaker nancy pelosi is

calling for the house ethics committee and law enforcement to investigate the video. >> gosar says, in part, "the cartoon depicts the symbolic nature of a battle between lawful and unlawful policies and in no way intended to be a targeted attack against representative cortez or mr. biden. it is a symbolic cartoon. it is not real life. congressman gosar cannot fly. >> trevor: get the (bleep) outta here. it's "symbolic"? "see, when i put a.o.c.'s head on the cartoon, that represents a.o.c. it's got layers." just admit you posted the thing for a laugh, because i'll be honest with you guys, i know we're all supposed to put on our concerned faces and wag our finger at him for threatening violence but i don't know about you. it is hard to watch that cartoon and see it as a real threat. i mean, forget flying. look at this dude. does he look like he could pick up two swords at once? it's clearly a fantasy! on the other hand, it's harder to believe that gosar didn't intend a targeted attack when he supported a targeted attack on

january 6. like, here's the thing-- you can do memes, or you can plot an insurrection. you can't do both. you gotta pick. and i know it's just a cartoon, but let's not pretend that cartoons can't also influence people. because the teenage mutant ninja turtles make it sound really cool to live in a sewer, but let me tell you, the pizza you find down there is terrible! it's not as bad as papa john's, but still. you don't want to eat it. >> the bigger issue with that story, bro, is that dude is a dentist. i don't mind dentists making videos. learn some teeth shit and make sure my mouth is straight. that's why these politicians need to start fighting. i was watching the hagy match. they start fighting, and there are days in hockey where they go you know we're fighting today. there will be no hockey until we fight. and then they fight, and they get on with their business. and that's what they need to do. they need to square it man. i'll be with you in a second.

i'm trying to order these last couple of bits of groceries. the prices are starting to go up. >> trevor: because of inflation? >> i guess so. it wasn't as cheap as it was this morning. when you think about it, i guess the gas prices do have a way of trickling down a little bit. if gas goes up, then the truck that delivers the goods need more gas, so the goods on the truck cost more. which means that everything on the truck costs more. so that's food, and that's like-- it's no different with the shutdown, with the toilet tissue. everybody was buying all the toilet tissue. that's the same thing that's-- as a matter of fact, let me order paper towels, too. >> trevor: good luck with that. i don't think it will be a big deal, you know? >> i hope you're right. >> trevor: i don't-- >> i hope you're right. >> trevor: order a few, but you'll see-- they might go up but it's not that bad. now, congressman gosar isn't the only person in the news who might be regretting what they posted on social media, because there's another story out of instagram that people are talking about, and it has to do with pet photos.

we all know that people love posting photos of their pets to instagram. it's a great way to tell the world, "you know how there are millions of identical corgis out there? well, i own one of them." but one account on instagram recently gave people even more reason to post their pet photos, and it did not end well. >> what started as a social media promise from a business just spins out of control. >> a social media campaign that was launched a little bit over a week ago, an instagram appeal that basically called on people to post a picture of their pet, and if they did so, a tree would supposedly be planted. now, many did answer the call, as you say, more than 4 million people posting a pet in the last seven or eight days. >> the creator of the post admitted to deleting it after ten minutes because he did not have the resources to plant that many trees. >> trevor: oh, man, i actually feel bad for this guy. we've all been in a position where you try to do something nice and overextend yourself.

everybody post pet photos, i'll plant a tree. i've been in that situation. like, you agree to be godparent to your friends' kids, but now if your friends die, all of a sudden, you've gotta raise them? i thought godparent just meant, like, sending them toys on their birthday. anyway, if anyone wants some kids, hit me up. honestly, if i was this dude, i would have just lied. i would have just said i planted the trees. who's gonna know? someone calls you out on it, you can just point to any tree and be like, "that one." what are they gonna do, check its birth certificate? i planted that tree. i know it's an old tree. you know what old trees are? they're old. but you know what this guy's real mistake was? asking for pet pictures. people are doing that anyway, it's too easy. if you want to get people engaged you have to ask for a thing only a few people will respond to. like we will plant a tree for every nude pic you send of your

grandparents." you make them earn that tree. five people tops. one grandmother sending them herself. i don't have grand kids but i want that tree planted. should we really be planting more trees? with the state of climate change right now, all you're really doing is giving wildfires an all-you-can-eat buffet. in my opinion, we should be starving these fires. that's why i'm launching a new campaign of my own: for every brunch photo you post on instagram, i will destroy one tree. this one's for you, mother earth. >> no, no, no, no,. >> trevor: you think it's the wrong-- it was a joke. i'm not going to actually-- >> no, no, no, no. out of stock. out of stock. >> trevor: roy. >> it's happening. >> trevor: what's happening? >> it's happening! ( bleep ). just-- it's happening! >> trevor: what is happening? >> bro, you just read the story! there's no more trees. if there are no more trees, then there are no more paper towels and that means paper towels are going up and i have to order these paper towels.

i'm ordering them right now. do you want some paper towels. >> trevor: roy, i don't need-- >> people are fighting over paper towels. if there is a shortage of trees, there is a shortage of paper, which means eventually there will be a shortage of ways to wipe your ass! >> trevor: i don't wipe my as with paper towels first of all,. >> you will when there is no more toilet tissue. >> trevor: you need to calm down. >> inflation, inflation. >> trevor: we're supposed to be having fun with the thing. let's make like teenagers and move on from instagram to tiktok. there are a lot of things you can learn on tiktok: how to cook a gourmet meal in 10 seconds, how to harmonize with yourself, what features every other social media company will have in six months. you can learn everything. and one girl learned something that just might have saved her life. >> investigators say a hand signal seen on many tiktok videos on social media helped lead to the rescue of a missing 16-year-old girl from north carolina. sheriff's deputies in kentucky say a driver called 911, reporting a girl in a nearby car

made these hand gestures to warn she wasn't safe. >> then you tuck your thumb in, and all four fingers over that thumb, and back and forth. >> incredible. they found the car, arrested this 61-year-old man. he now faces charges, including unlawful imprisonment. >> trevor: man, this is amazing. and it's a good thing about perverts being old men, because there was no chance of that 61-year-old man seeing this hand signal and going, "yo, yo, that's that thing from tiktok! hype! this is impressive. you just do this and it means you are in danger. the only thing about secret signals, they only work if the right amount of people know about them. like, i'll be honest. i hadn't heard of this signal before this story. i'm glad i wasn't the person in the car. if i was in the car, and that had made that sign, i would have just been like, "right on, sister, black power." we have so many other hand

signals for other things. i'm choking. i'm going to kill you. can i put my leftover hot dog in your empty pringles can? >> it's not enough. come on! come on! >> trevor: roy, what's going on, man? i'm preparing for the inflation. getting the paper towels before the prices get too crazy. everybody is going to buy the shit. i can get your password real quick for amazon. this amazon, they sold out. >> trevor: my amazon is the same as your ammon. what do you mean "my amazon?" >> you don't have an african amazon? >> trevor: no, why would there be an african amazon? >> that's what amazon is. >> trevor: that's south america. i'm south african. >> are you going to give me your password. >> trevor: we're doing the jokes. look how many paper towels you've got. >> this is not enough! inflation is all about us! i've been thinking about this. everything is expanding.

it's not just the price of gas and milk and food. everything has expanded. tweets are longer. movies are longer. this show is 45 minutes! the next spider-man has three spider-man in it. multiverse. we need enough paper towel to wipe our ass in three different universes. it's not enough! >> trevor: why are you wiping your ass with paper towels. what happened to tissues? >>ule the toil tissue has been sold out. >> trevor: okay. >> do you want some paper towels. >> trevor: roy, i don't need-- >> do you want any paper towels. >> trevor: roy, relax. this is crazy. just relax. i'm just-- you're just being crazy right now. finally, let's talk about working from home. more and more people are working from home, and it definitely has it's benefits: there's no commuting. you don't have to share a bathroom. you can watch your kids grow up into losers right before your eyes. but there are drawbacks, too, and one of them that a lot of people noticed during the pandemic is that when you don't

actually leave the office at the end of the day, the work day never really ends. which is why one country has had enough. >> portugal is not playing around with the work-life balance this morning. the portuguese parliament has just passed a new labor law making it illegal for employers to contact their employees when they are off the clock. under this new rule, employers could be penalized for contacting employees after work hours and will be forced to pay for increased expenses as a result of working from home, things like the employee's gas, even their electricity bill. >> trevor: wow! portugal! this is so gangster. now when naking it illegal contacting people when they're not in work. now when your boss calls you during dinner, you can be like, "hold on, let me put you on a conference call... with the police, bitch!" and this law will have effects beyond portugal, because if they're going to be working less

and producing less, then that means the rest of the world isn't going to get as much of ummm.... what do they make in portugal? they're not going to get as much... what do they make in portugal? by the way, this really shows you the difference between portugal and america. a labor victory in portugal and most of europe is outlawing your boss contacting you after 5:00 p.m. while in america, a major labor victory is like, "now we get a choice of plastic or glass bottles to pee in!" what about you roy? roy! this is crazy? >> it's not crazy. inflation is serious. we got enough. i think we got enough. i think we're covered. i think we're covered. >> trevor: man, it looks like you've bought all the paper towels. >> di. that's exactly what i did. >> trevor: yes, but you understand you're creating inflation because you're

panicking about inflation, you're buying a lot of things now, which is making more inflation because now you're buying-- >> if i don't buy it, somebody else is going to buy it, therefore i have to be the one to buy it ( buzzing ) ) yeah, i can get you three rolls. 80 a pop. you're going to pay it or not? all right, meet me-- meet me at the train station. 42nd. >> trevor: roy, you're selling paper towels now? so you're parent of the problem. >> i'm not part of the problem. i've got paper towels. >> now there are no-- >> do you have paper towels. >> trevor: i didn't think i would need-- luckily i know you. let me get-- i'll get one of the top ones, then. >> it's 80. >> trevor: $80 a roll? >> a sheet. >> trevor: you just said $80 a roll on the phone now. >> he got ahead of the curve. you didn't.

>> trevor: all right, when we come back, we'll honor america's greatest heroes. you don't want to miss it. don't go anywhere. roy, come on. you have to give me more than one paper towel. >> no, no, no. get back! get back! get back! (vo) singing, or speaking. reason, or fun. daring, or thoughtful. sensitive, or strong. progress isn't either or progress is everything. ♪ ♪ ♪i put in the work all day i put in the work all day♪

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♪ ♪ perhaps, perhaps, perhaps ♪ ♪ ♪ with xfinity home, you can keep your home and everything in it more protected. i can wrangle all my deliveries. thanks, hoss! and i help walk the dog from wherever. *door unlocks* ♪ ♪ well, i can bust curfew-breakers in an instant. well, you all have xfinity home, with cameras to home security monitored by the pros. *laughs* learn more about home security or get our self-monitored solution starting at just $10 per month. daily show." tomorrow is veterans day, when america takes a day to honor those who served in its armed forces. but there's another,

often-forgotten group of americans who deserve just as much recognition. so today, we at "the daily show" are going to honor them. >> every veterans day, we honor the brave americans who served, but it's time we also recognized the almost-brave americans who didn't serve but want everyone to think they did. that's why this november 10 is "almost veterans day." ♪ ♪ ♪ you're the man who goes to the grocery store dressed like you're ready to assault fallujah. you're the man who brings the seal team 6 lingo to paintball. >> contact, two tangos on the south ridge. lay down a suppressing fire. i am black on ammo! >> what? >> i said i'm-- ow, ow, ow, my god! you gotta learn the lingo! >> you've got all the gear you think that veterans wear:

wraparound tactical sunglasses, an operator beard you saw in john krasinski, a patriotic t-shirt with way too many words on it, cargo pants filled with every kind of army knife. even though you only use them to clean out your vape. >> hey, alexa, play "expandables 3." >> and, of course, cameo, cammo, cammo, cammo that you heroically wore to the capitol on january 6 with your band of brothers, who you bravely turned into the f.b.i. two weeks later. and when you're asked why you never enlisted, you have a good excuse: >> you know, i would have served, but i'm just not good at following orders. >> we don't care. nobody cares. >> 10-4. >> we don't even say that in the

military. >> roger that. ♪ ♪ ♪ >> discipline, dignity, self-awareness-- these are all things you don't have. but what you do have is "almost veterans day," the day your nation thanks you for almost serving. >> oh, my god! my shin splintd! damn it! ow! oh! >> trevor: semper fi, boys. all right, when we come back, bad bunny will be joining me right here, on the show. so don't go away. (vo) singing, or speaking. reason, or fun.

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on our most advanced and inclusive smartphone camera yet. live translate speaks your language and hers. it's the phone that understands we're all different. google pixel 6. for all you are. (laughing) did i do that? (laughing) every time. shh. you think she's still awake? don't worry. stealth mode? yeah. (shh shh shh) don't pta meetings end at 9? -ran late -got lost... what'd you guys talk about? -libraries -maps fine. you can drive to practice this weekend. (laughing) that was easy. what! i mean, i love you guys. the lexus rx: built for modern families. >> trevor: welcome backlet "the daily show" show." my guest is bad bunny. he is here to talk about his debut on netflix's series marco

polo. "narcos: mexico." >> trevor: oh, bad bunny. welcome to "the daily show." >> thank you, thank you. >> trevor: it's so good to have you here, my dude. this has been quite the whirlwind for you in life. i feel like people don't even know how amazing your story is. even when i was telling it to some of the people i work with, i was saying, yo, did you know that in 2016, bad bunny was still working at a grocery store? >> yeah. q. baggy groceries.>> that's cr.

>> trevor: right. >> yeah. >> trevor: and we fast forward to now, the biggest streaming artist on spotify, you know, grammy in the u.s., latin grammys. 2016. do you pinch yourself sometimes and go like, "this is life now?" >> no, sometimes i can't believe it. but i worked for it. >> trevor: right. >> and i'm so grateful with the life i've got. it's crazy for me being here, living my dream. but it's... it's what i wanted, you know? >> trevor: 2020 came around. the pandemic shut everything down. most of us couldn't do most of the work we wanted to do. bad bunny comes out, he releases not one, not two, but three projects. like, how are you doing this? and what is your mentality? why do you work so hard? >> it's what i love. it's my work and it's my hobby, also. in the pandemic, it's the only

thing that i had to do to escape from the reality. so it was easy to make music. >> trevor: when-- when someone looks at your life, you know, it seems like the kind of life where one minute everything changed overnight. but it seems like, you know, bad bunny that we know was inspired by benito who grew up in life-- >> of course. >> trevor: going i do the things i want to do. i believe in certain things and i aim them and that's what got you to where you are today. beyond the music that you make, what do you think it is about you that makes you so successful? >> i think that there's a very important detail, and it's that i'm-- i'm the same guy. i'm real, you know. i don't want to be like a character. >> trevor: oh, right, right,

right. >> in my music, it's benito. bunny is benito. there's no difference between benito and bunny. so i think that people can feel connected. >> trevor: yeah. >> so that's the key of my-- what i think. >> trevor: like, they connect to the authenticity in your music. >> yeah. >> trevor: they feel who you are. >> they feel me. they feel my feeling. they feel what i'm saying. and it's my magic, what i think. >> trevor: yeah, i think it's-- i think it's the fact that you're not just real but you're not afraid of being real. and even in your music, in your style, we've seen so much of that. like, you've broken the idea of what machismo is. bad bunny says i'll paint my nails, wear whatever fashions i want to wear. the way you treat women and spoken about women and the l.g.b.t.q. community, gay,

trans, whatever. you go this is my music, and i think it's broken a lot of things what people think music should be. where did that come from? >> especially from my music. it's like rap, hip hop is so... like you say, i'm trying to-- every people, like every person, everybody can feel comfortable with my music. >> trevor: definitely. concerts, you know. like, create space where everyone can feel comfortable. >> trevor: i love that. >> with the music. it's what i-- what i try. >> trevor: you've won latin grammys. you won an american grammy. the gringo grammy. >> gringo grammy ( laughs ) right. >> trevor: and you didn't

change anything. what do you think it is about your music that's able to cross the boundary of language that people thought would stop an artist like you becoming successful? >> i think it's what i told you that people can feel me, you know. if-- i'm latino, i'm puerto rican. people can feel that, you know, and no matter where you are... why i-- why i have to change? you know. >> trevor: i know exactly what you mean. >> um, you don't... like, you know, no one's asked a gringo -- >> to switch over the other way. >> you have to change to-- no, people love your music because -- >> and it has traveled the world in english. now bad bunny is doing it the other way around. >> this is who i am.

this is my music. this is my culture. if you don't like it, don't listen. if you like it, you know. >> trevor: you also do what you love. i think that's one of the things i admire about you. you work hard. you speak out, and you show up for the causes that you believe in. and then you take three months off making music to go and prepare to be a wrestler in the w.w.e. talk me through that process. how do you go from making music to going, no, i'm going to go and i'm going to fight in the w.w.e.? and you trained for real, by the way. this is real training. >> yeah, real training. worked hard. i always been... a wrestling fan. >> trevor: who was your favorite wrestling growing up? >> i have a few. undertaker... but, also, i have been collaborating with wrestle in my videos, like rick fair.

>> trevor: got it, got it. >> so i think they start to watch that. and say, who this guy? he's working with, you know... and in the end, they make me the invitation. and i say, like, they asked me. like, "what you gonna do?" and i said, like, "i want to fight." >> trevor: that's crazy. that's crazy. >> "are you sure? are you sure?" i said, "i want to. i want to. i'm going to do whatever i have to do, you know." >> trevor: did you enjoy it? >> yeah, yeah. it was hard, but i enjoyed it. i enjoyed the whole process. because i think that i need it, you know, because with the pandemic and all the stuff. >> trevor: yeah, yeah... >> because i dropped three albums, but i...

i don't-- i wasn't -- >> no performances. no performances at the concerts. you weren't feeling the crowd. >> yeah. >> trevor: you weren't getting that energy. >> i wanted something, you know, in the arena. >> trevor: yeah, yeah. before i let you go, i want to talk about the next journey in benito's life. you know, you've really dominated music, and it's really beautiful to see what you've done. >> thank you. >> trevor: acting is the next foray. we saw the clip "narcos: mexico," one of my favorite shows of all time. >> oh, yeah. >> trevor: i'm trying to learn spanish because i want to watch the show without subtitles. that's me. we see you in "narcose." you're in a movie with brad pitt. >> that's crazy. >> trevor: are you enjoying the acting journey? is this-- is this a new challenge for you? >> it's a new challenge, yeah, it is. i always like to act. and now i got the opportunity. so i'm so glad. and i'm enjoying this process.

i enjoy the music. it's-- it's different, but i have a lot of things in common. >> trevor: uh-huh. >> work hard, be responsible, you know. respect others. you know, it's the same. so it's great. it's great. >> trevor: not just "narcos" but you have inspired me. i'm learning spanish with me team. the next time you come on the show, i'm going to do the interview in spanish, and we'll see how good i am. we'll flip things around. thank you so much for being here, man. i appreciate you. "narcos: mexico" is available right now on netflix. you know where you can find the music. it's on spotify, people. we're going to take a quick break but we'll be right back i know things. barks it's under the couch driver or 3-wood? 3-wood. we want to retire early and need a health plan. my parent's plan won't cover me anymore. where can i get a health plan?

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for tonight, but before we go: thanksgiving is one of the busiest times for the feeding america network of food banks and meal programs. if you would like to support them in their work, please donate at the link below and help to make the holidays brighter for your neighbors. until tomorrow, stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember: milk is $4 a gallon, right, which might seem expensive, but look at it this way: now it's $6. now, here it is, your moment of zen. >> "people" magazine named their new "sexiest man alive" yesterday. >> who was it? >> who was it? >> paul rudd. >> really? >> really? >> he's a good looking guy.

but "sexiest man alive"? >> henry golden and brad pitt were not available that day. so they got paul rudd. >> he proves that all of us have a chance. >> i can see george clean, but color me surprised. it just proves that anybody can be "sexiest man alive." so maybe, gary, you and i have a chance. >> it doesn't seem like these sexiest people age. i think they have some kind of agreement with an evil entity of sorts. >> he's obviously coloring that hair. >> he's cheating. >> he's still sexy though, i'm sure. - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪

- ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪ - jesus christ! these lines are ridiculous! i'm gonna miss my flight. excuse me, there's two other security checkpoints. why can't you open those too? - duh, i dunno nothing. - but you work for the-- god damn it! - snooty airlines announces the arrival of flight 239 from connecticut. - that's your cousin's flight, kyle. hold the sign up nice and high, so he can find us. - what's he look like? - he's your age and about your height. - i'm stoked my cousin is coming to live with us. it'll be just like having a brother. - i thought i were! - oh, there he is, over here, kyle! - hello, aunt sheila. - how was your flight? - oh, it was terrible. they recycle the air on board, and it really did a number on my asthma. i asked them to turn up the oxygen and they wouldn't. - you remember uncle jerry. - hello, uncle jerry. - and these are your cousins ike and kyle.

- hey, dude. - nice to meet you. - let's get down to the baggage claim, kyle. - okay. - okay. - ooh, that's right! we've got two kyles now. we'll just call you kyle and you can be kyle...two. - cool. - next. - oh, i feel like i've run a marathon. - okay, the 2:30 flight to cheyenne has boarded. looks like you didn't make it. - what? well, of course i didn't make it! the line to check in was two hours long, and the security line was two hours more! - yeah, no problem, though. we'll get you on the 7:00 a.m. flight tomorrow morning. - i can't go tomorrow. the jizzfest is tonight! - would you like a window or an aisle seat? - this is unbelievable! you know, i seem to remember when the airlines said "we need a $15 billion bailout from the taxpayers." - mm, okay, and have any of your personal items been out of your possession since you left? - well, we gave them the $15 billion, and they fired their employees anyway, so now we have three people to clear 400 passengers! - hey, he's right! all: yeah! - okay, and bags have been with you at all times? - so where did that money go? i'll tell you where it went! it went right into the pockets of the presidents and c.e.o.s of the airlines

so they could keep their multimillion-dollar salaries! all: yeah! - and here's your boarding pass for tomorrow morning. - you think you can treat us however you want because we have to fly! well, i'll tell you what, sally sass-a-lot. i'm gonna come up with a new mode of transportation, a brand-new vehicle that'll put all you bastards out of business! all: yeah! - you think i can't do it? i got a master's degree in mechanical engineering at denver community college. you watch me! come on, everybody! all: yeah! - can i get on that 7:30 a.m. flight? - here we go, kyle two, and here's yours, kyle. - wh-what is this? - mom's special stew. she makes it every monday, and i love it. - oh, is this beef? - yeah, dude, it's great. - actually, i-i can't eat beef. i have a degenerative problem with my intestinal lining, and beef really gives me gas. - oh, i'm so sorry, kyle! what else can i fix you? - oh, no, i-i don't want to be a bother. - nonsense! can't i make you some nice pasta or a frozen fish fillet? - well, some fish would be great if it isn't too much trouble. - i'll put it in the microwave right away.

- [wheezing] - mom? - yes, kyle two? - how am i related to him again? - he's your cousin, kyle two. i told you already. - yeah, but like first cousin or distant cousin? - he's my sister's son. that makes him your first cousin. - so we have the same blood? - now, kyle two, listen to me. kyle is going through a very tough time in his life. his mother is very sick, and he's in a whole new place. he's going to rely on you to make sure he fits in at your school. - what? how the hell am i supposed to do that? - i'm sure your friends will love him. - what about cartman, huh? he rips on me for being jewish. he's gonna tear this kid apart. - kyle two, he's your responsibility. - oh, my god! - i'm sure you two will become great friends with lots of late-night pillow talk. - what do you mean? what room is he sleeping in? - what's this comforter filled with? oh, it isn't filled with down, is it? - i don't know, dude. - it sure is quiet up here in the mountains and dry too. do you have a humidifier? - i don't think so. - can you take my stupid glasses and put them on the nightstand?

make sure they're close by because that fish upset my stomach, and i might need them if i have to go to the bathroom later on. - okay. - [breathing heavily] - it's got to be simple. like a moped but with the ability to travel at much faster speeds. if the design of our electrical moped were altered with-- no, no, no, no. this won't work either. what was wrong with that plan? it has to be more stable, mr. hat. a moped would be too dangerous at those speeds. damn it! now, what if the jet power of an aircraft could be scaled down into a personal vehicle? boy, that enrique "in-glesias" can sure gyrate his hot ass around. [singing on tv] oh, mr. hat, will you stop drooling over enrique "in-glesias"? wait a minute. what did you say? i said enrique "in-glesias" can sure gyrate his hot ass. that's it! gyration!

a gyroscope! it would allow for maximum balance and yet-- mr. hat, you're a genius! it's so simple and yet genius! check out his hot bulge too. - hey, dude. - what's that thing? - cartman, i need to talk to you. - hello, i'm kyle's cousin, kyle. - cartman, i'm gonna make you a deal. - what? - that kid over there is my cousin from the east coast. he's having a really hard time right now, so i'm gonna offer you $40 to not to rip on him. - 40 bucks? - but you can't make fun of him at all. no smartass comments, nothing. - all right, all right. - and you especially can't say anything about jews. - oh, jesus, why don't you just cut off my balls? - cartman, no jew jokes! all you have to do is keep your mouth shut and you've got 40 bucks. can you do it? - i can't believe how cold it is out here. - it could be tough, but i'll give it a shot. - all right. - it's a real dry cold. that's the problem. the cold air makes me wheeze. - kyle, this is cartman. he's my sort of friend--ish. - nice to meet you, cartman. you know, i saw that same jacket you're wearing at bosco's for $29.95. how much was yours? i'm just wondering if bosco's is a rip-off. - oh, man. - cartman.