make him feel safe. did you really think i would put my primary listening device in a wooden mallard? i'm not insane. - 65-pound cover stock, which is the heaviest paper that will still feed smoothly through your desktop printer. >> trevor: does anyone celebrate elon musk here? anyone? i don't know if you saw this, it was, like, a really interesting moment of internet twitter beef. bernie sanders put out a beef and said billionaires need to pay their fair share of taxes, not paying enough, whatever, and elon musk jumped on and said, oh, you, didn't know you were still alive. and people are, like, pissed off because now it's bernie bros versus elon bros and that's -- you know what i mean, that the internet essentially, it's the royal rumble now. good luck posting your wedding pictures when this shit is happening.

it's like gangs on the treats but in the tweets. i love you, my wife -- shut up! you don't talk to bernie like that! everyone's mad, losing their shit. one thing i will say about elon musk is he's everything i thought a billionaire was as a child. when i would watch tv shows as a kid, i was, like, why do you want to be a billionaire? i would be so i could tell everybody shit all the time like scrooge mcduck. then you grow up and they're always talking business, boring. jeff bezos has all the money in the world and still, if you would be like hey, what's happening at your factory? we're going to try to figure things out. it's not billionaire swag. he works out. why do you work out? you don't need muscles if you have billions of dollars. muscles are for lifting. if you have billions, you don't lift. i would pay something at the gym. do another rep, no, another one.

but then you're, like, you will gain weight, i'll pay people to make me healthy. i'm a billionaire. i'll buy somebody else's body, come back next week, be likeae, who are you? trevor, i bought your dad's body. when i become a billionaire, first thing that's going out of my life, greetings and goodbyes, waste of my time as a human being. when i get a billion, forget me saying hello or goodbye, wasting my time. you know i'm coming back. you know i've seen me the first time, hello. why do i have to announce my arrival, hello. these are things for peasants. when i get a billion, no more hellos. i'm going to walk up to you, you're just going to see me, you're just going to have to be, like, he's here now and when i'm leaving, i just go. we're talking, see the game? yeah. 27! then i'm just going to walk away. >> coming to you from the heart

of times square in new york city, the only city in america, it's "the daily show." tonight, covid is costing. the best way to avoid the i.c.u. and chris christie! this is "the daily show"! with trevor noah! >> trevor: hey! what's going on, everybody? welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. joining me for today's headlines is the one and only roy wood, jr.! >> what's up, man? >> trevor: yeah, roy. >> i'm back, man. >> trevor: we love your comedy special on comedy centrals and paramount+! >> what's going on. i'm inspired to figure out the sidekick shit, man. let me play an instrument. >> trevor: you're not a sidekick. tropical storm a difference. you're just keeping me company because we're here and don't have an awed audience. >> am i here or on the side.

>> trevor: on the side. >> am i kicking it? >> trevor: you, are indeed. >> that's what it is. let me play an instrument or something. i played the flute for two weeks in the sixth grade. >> trevor: that won't workch. >> i can't even audition to be in the band? >> trevor: a flute is the worst thing to play when somebody sells a joke. >> you tell a joke now. >> trevor: ( knocking ) >> who's there. >> trevor: amos. amos who? a mosquito. let's get to today's headlines. we kick things off with the ongoing investigation into the january 6th attack on the u.s. capitol building also known as the most successful facebook meme of all time. a congressional committee is trying to determine if president trump and allies were involved in the violence to overturn the election, and they want to hear from steve bannon, torcher trump advisor and the only person who maybe should try

horse dewormer. couldn't hurt. trump told his people not to cooperate with law enforcement at all. so bannon defied a congressional subpoena to testify, and this morning he turned himself in arriving at an f.b.i. office, looking like he'd already served ten years in prison. but if all of this activity has donald trump worried, he's not showing it. in fact, when asked whether he had tried to pressure mike pence into overturning the election on january 6th, well, trump basically admitted it in the most trumpy way possible. >> it had been reported back in january by the "new york times" that trump even pressured pence on the morning of january 6th with a crude phone call. when i interviewed trump for betrayal, i asked him about that. >> there was a report -- excuse melange badge, not mine, it was in the report -- that you talked the to him that morning and said you could be a patriot or you can be a (~bleep~). did you say that or is that incorrect is this. >> i wouldn't dispute it.

>> really? >> i wouldn't dispute it. >> trevor: i wouldn't dispute it? wow. trump is gangster. why would i dispute it? the guy is total pussy. why would i dispute it? you know what i love about trump? even though he didn't say it he would pretend he said it because it sounded cool. yeah, that's a good line. i totally said it, patriot or pussy. i love it. i love how the reporter says excuse my language as if donald trump is going to be offended. my man, it's donald trump. if anything, he would be like pussy, my favorite topic. thank you for bringing this up, let's talk about it. by the way, can we acknowledge that don't be a pussy is thing people go to in life when they don't have any other arguments. it's the last option when you have nothing real to convince someone with. it usually works because no one wants to be a pussy. that's how cliff jumping started. i'm not a pussy! sometimes it's good to be a pussy. oftentimes history is made by pussies. gandhi, total pussy. yeaher. britain was, like, are you going

to fight us or are you a pussy? and gandhi said, i am a pussy. you must be the pussy you wish to see in the world. that is what we need more of. >> you know what's messed up? in a way i feel bad for mike pence because he was living the christian life and being all righteous. it would be like the last four or five years, you're going to hell. do everything perfect and in the ninth inning, oh, i'm going to hell! didn't do nothing life his whole life, even missed all his good jackoff years. your jackoff years is from 14 to about 45, 46, and he didn't do nothing, just a pure man. start hanging with trump, now you go to hell. patriot or pussy. messed up. i feel bad for mike pence, man. he's going to be all right. >> trevor: let's move on to the top story. right now, inflation is the one thing people hate even more than jake gyllenhaal.

seems like everything is most expensive these days. groceries are most more expensi, cars are more expensive. tide is $1.50. i can't afford that shit anymore. one price people notice more than anything and that's the price of gas. >> more pain at the pump for drivers as we head into the busy holiday travel season. gas prices keep going only one direction up. >> gas prizes rising over 6% over the last month, up nearly 50% over the last year. >> gas prices are at their highest levels in seven years, according to aaa, we're looking at 3.42-gallon on average. >> americans are spending $334 more on gasoline than one year ago today. >> every time i fill up it's $80. >> do you want to eat steak or fill up your tank. >> trevor: tough choice, do you want to eat steak or do you want to pour gas in your car? i mean, i do have to say you don't have to choose. yeah, you just fill up your car

and then drive it into a cow. boom! then you get both. no but for real, though, this is a big problem. high gas prices affect so many aspect of life like from getting to work to childcare to, you know, all your friends who bike becoming even more smug about it, but the question is why are gas prices going up so much? well, like everything in our life right now, it has a lot to do with the pandemic. so let's talk about why this is happening and what joe biden can do about it in another installment of getting back to normal-ish. ♪♪♪ think back for a moment to spring of 2020. much of the world had ground to a halt, which meant that people weren't driving, they weren't visiting friends or going into the office or hanging out of the passenger side of their best friend's ride, trying to holler at me. if you left your home at all, it

was probably to take a sad walk around the block. i mean, at least until you heard someone cough down the street and then you ran your ass back inside. now, because of all of that, that meant that mesh's oil industry, which had been producing more than any country in the world, basically shut down, and even though society has ramped back up again, the oil industry hasn't. >> early in the pandemic demand for gasoline dropped dramatically as workers were told to stay home. >> that immediately walloped the oilen gas industry like nothing ever in its history has ever hit them before. one point early on in the coronavirus crisis, the price of a barrel of oil cost less than zero dollars. >> when prices dropped abruptly with the pandemic shutdown, u.s. producers dramatically slowed the drilling of new wells, rigs were taken out of service and oil production in the u.s. dropped off significantly. >> they shut down production, they laid off tens of thousands of workers to try and stay alive

during the pandemic. >> just like everything else in our lives, the oil production has been impacted by covid. it can't just flick a refinery and operations and have everything back to normal. >> trevor: one to have the reasons gas prices are so high is america is making less gas than it did before the pandemic. people may be driving again but it doesn't meaneth easy for gas producers to instantly produce as much as they were before. you've got to grow a whole new dinosaur and smoosh it till the oil comes out. that takes time. it makes sense that it's going to take them time to adjust. i mean, it's been hard for all of us, right? every single one of us, it's been hard to get back to normal life after the pandemic. do you remember the first time you had to make small talk at the office? nobody knew what he were doing. welcome to the elevator! do you remember weather? yeah, i do. not. my wife is leaving me! this is not my floor but i'm getting out. now, if america isn't making

enough oil to keep up with demand, then why didn't it just buy more from the rest of the world? well, it could but turns out the people who control the oil in the rest of the world just don't feel like sharing. >> gas prices really not being driven up by the demand on the horizon, it's more about the supply oil producing nations are actually constricting the supply a little bit because they're trying to recoup their pandemic losses. >> there's a cartel that controls the price of oil internationally called opec. >> opec, the biggest oil producing nations aren't increasing the amount of oil they releaseo into the global economy, so as demand rebounds in the u.s., americans are paying about $16 more to fill up their tanks than a year ago. >> president biden recently appealed to opec and russia to boost production, but received a flat no. >> trevor: wow. they received a flat no. i mean, to be fair, every no coming out of a russian is a flat no. have you ever talked to a

russian person? they're never afraid of flat no. hey, are you having a good day? no. bell, there's always tomorrow, right? no. and, look, you can understand opec's position. how much longer is oil going to be around? right? they need to make money on this shit now before we're all driving elon musk's cars that curse out bernie sanders when you honk the horn. and by the way, you also know what this means, right? you realize that this is the first time america could openly go to war for oil because usually when america goes into the middle east it's like this isn't about oil, my son is going over there to fight for freedom! but if prices go higher, americans can be just, like, kevin you get your butt in that fighter jet because your dad is not paying $6 a gallon! that's my steak money! now the good news is america is not going to war yet. but asking opec nicely also didn't work. so the big question is what can be done to lower gas prices? well, the bad news for president biden is not much.

>> the biden administration is scrambling for solutions to one of his biggest political liabilities, soaring gas prices. >> like presidents who came before him, joe biden has few options when it comes to combating high fuel prices. nearly a dozen senate democrats are calling on biden to consider all the tools available at your disposal, even the extreme step of banning american oil exports which goldman sachs warned would be counterproductive and could actually raise prices. the president also considering tapping the strategic petroleum reserve, though industry experts warned that would do little to alleviate the problem. >> if you ask the energy industry, they'd say, well, the white house could cut environmental regulation and maybe that would help. and it could maybe for next winter but that would take some time. >> president biden does not have a magic wand to dramatically lower gas prices. if he did, judging on his sinking poll numbers he would

use that wand. >> trevor: i don't know about that. even if joe biden did have a wand, he would need to recite a spell and based on what we've seen i do not have confidence he would be able to get it right. ( stuttering spells ) you know the thing. did it work? what's tough for biden is it doesn't matter what else he does. if the price of gas stays high, that's that. he could sign all the infrastructure bills and get people to agree on abortion but all people care about is how much is the block goo from the ground. higher than before? then get the (~bleep~) out of here. it's not exaggerating to see his whole entire presidency could depend on whether gas prices stay up or go down. and based on this new p.s.a. the biden administration just put out, they're willing to try anything. >> all across this great nation, americans are feeling pain at the pump. but help is on the way.

we at the biden administration know you want nothing more than for gas prices to go back to where they were last year, which is why we're laser focused on the one method guaranteed to make that happen, creating a new pandemic. as we speak, our world-class scientists are working hard to develop the next big viral strain. they're experimenting with expired woman bat meat, iguana sneeze droplets and whatever they can scrape off the new york city subway. we're throwing all of it into a big old blender and feeding it to a sick hip poe. trust me, if covid 22 is out there somewhere, we're gonna find it. we're not stopping until gas prices are the least of your problems, once again. that's the biden promise. ( sneeze ) guys, is this something? >> trevor: all right, when we come back, covid is still filling up the i.c.u.s, but don't worry, we've got a solution. so don't go away.

>> today kicks off infrastructure week at the white house. >> it's infrastructure week for the white house, but that may have gotten lost in the shuffle with president trump rekindling controversy on the violence in virginia yesterday. >> this is at least the third time they've tried to roll out infrastructure week. >> he's there in ohio to give a speech about infrastructure. it's infrastructure week, folks. >> you may not have known this with you this is infrastructure week in america. >> it is infrastructure week yet again. >> he's going to meet with nancy pelosi to talk about infrastructure week which may be coming back. >> this is supposed to be the friday of infrastructure week. >> he is also not visiting the c.d.c. headquarters. he is trying to make it infrastructure week, once again. >> where is the infrastructure plan. >> well, it's happening, it's going to happen and we've done a lot of infrastructure.

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the holidays are coming here in america, which means two things -- turkeys are saying goodbye to their loved ones, and covid cases might shoot up again. which would be bad news because some parts of america are struggling to keep up with the rona right now. >> this morning, nearly half the country seeing new covid cases soaring. 21 states reporting a surge in infections and rising hospitalizations in 17 states and territories. some rural communities with low vaccination rates and limited resources, like canyon city, colorado, being hit especially hard. 93% to have the state's i.c.u. beds are currently full, the most they've seep in nearly a year. >> trevor: yeah, colorado's i.c.u. beds are packed. i mean willy wonka and the

chocolate factory packed. what was happening in that movie? i remember watching it as a kid and i was thinking about why are all the old people in the same bed all day. i get at night, but the whole day? i was, like, are they banging each other? is that what this movie is about? the big worry is what if your hospital has no i.c.u. beds available and you suddenly need emergency care? well, your life could be in danger because too many people didn't want to get the vaccine. luckily, leo deb lynn has a sioux a solution for you. >> do you need an i.c.u. bed? they're all filled up because nobody in your state got the vax. you need surgery but your appendix can't burstt till the year 2023. have no fear, old leo's bringing the i.c.u. to you! introducing leo deblin's home i.c.u. to you, where i bring the hospital experience right into your house.

we got everything you'd expect from a normal i.c.u., like a mattress you can shape into a w, l or triangle. he's going to be fine. recuperate with one of these 20-inch tvs from 2004. and we've got all the shows. judge judy, maury, all them white dudes and the korean soap opera with no subtitles. i'm not a doctor, but i will come to your house every 15 months check your chart and just say something. looking good. mmm. that's weird. damn horks you still alive? we've got all types of i.v. bagd chicken noodle. and if you fete our deluxe package, we'll partner you with another i.c.u. patient going through something far worse than you. >> aaahhh! ah! no, no, no! aaahhh! aaahhh! >> trevor: and in your darkest hour, as you sit there in

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this is the first photo of your life, son. your first smile. ♪ your first bath. the room we made for you. and you'll meet nana and grandpa. i can't wait for the world to see you... like i do. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is the former

governor of new jersey, chris christie. he's here to discuss his new book and why he thinks the republican party needs to be rescued. chris christie, welcome to "the daily show." >> trevor, happy to be back. >> trevor: before we start the interview, i want to know what type of interview are we having, a legit conversation or are you going to politician me? i only ask you this because you're the one person to tell me the truth. >> legit. >> trevor: let's do it. i love the title of your book, chris christie, "republican rescue: saving the party from truth deniers, conspiracy theorists, and the dangerous policies of joe biden." seems like the republicans need to be rescued from a lot of things. >> yeah, they do, and, look, the biggest thing we need to be rescued from -- or to is the truth. you know, if we don't become the party of telling the truth again, we've got no hope for anybody to trust us to do figure, and when we get all these conspiracy theories and truth denicer, it's just not going to work. what i try to do in the book is go through q anon and

pizzagate and birther-ism and election stuff and say, here are the real facts, and i hope after you read them you live come to the conclusion there's no truth to any of this stuff and we need to focus on the important things going on in the country now. >> trevor: but surely you realize you are up against a monumental issue here because a lot of the republican party believes many of these things. >> that's what leadership is all about, right? i mean, in the end, if you want the to try to lead, which is what i'm trying to do which is help lead the party in another direction, then it involves risk. if it were easy, you wouldn't be at the front of the parade, you would be in the middle of the parade, right? so i'm taking a chance here, i guess. but to me it's a chance on the best thing to take a chance on which is the truth. >> trevor: and you are not afraid of the donald trump element? you're not just talking to republican people here. you're talking to republicans but you know one of your audience members is donald john trump. >> sure. >> trevor: who believes some

of the things that are in this book. >> sure. i've known him for 20 years so unlike most people who know him of recent vintage, i've known him personally for 20 years. i'm not afraid of telling him the truth, never been afraid of feeling of -- telling him the truth. all the things i did with him, ran against him, prepared him for debates, i'm the guy he brought in to give him a hard time so the book follows that pattern. >> trevor: let's talk about the relationship you and the republican party has with donald trump. for many years it's about the party and people who vote for the party, which is what good politics is. now it's about trump, people say i'm a trumper, i vote for donald trump. the republican party comes second to that, that means one man can derp the vision and the mission that doesn't necessarily coincide with conservativism, whatever that may be in this day and alien. so you have a relationship with donald trump, right, you guys talk. you haven't talked in a while

from what i understand, but you talk. >> sure. >> trevor: do you see a world where, a, he doesn't run for president and then, b, a world where you can convince him to not make the next election about this? because you know he's going to do that. >> well, look, i think a few things. first off, there's a really new interesting poll today out of iowa. iowa republicans being polled by the des moines register, and they're amongst the most conservative republicans in america. they ask where's your loyalty the most to republican party or to donald trump. 62% said the republican party. 26% said donald trump, in iowa. so i think things are changing, trevor. i think as he's no longer on the twitter -- he's only been out of office less than ten months and he dominated the political oxygen in this country for five years. so we're an instant gratification society. people expect things to happen like that but they don't sometimes. as the emotion drains out and you leave the fact, i think people are going to say a republican party that's built on

many foundations is much more valuable than one that's built on one. and by the way, the former president can be part of that. if he wants to start talking about tomorrow and stop talking about yesterday. that the what we should be thinking about is how do we get to the forecast step. and i think that iowa poll starts to tell us, it's not there yet, but starts to tell us that people are starting to -- let the emotions run out and say, all right, so what are our options? >> trevor: is this book your way of putting yourself forward as an option? is this you planting the seeds for you running in the next election? >> no, this is me planting the seeds for -- because lots of people whisper this stuff to me. someone has to say it out loud. someone has to be willing to come forward and say here's the truth and the path forward. doesn't mean i won't run in 24, but i certainly will think about it. >> trevor: would you run if trump runs. >> sure. >> trevor: you will run against donald trump. >> sure. >> trevor: you will run

against donald trump. >> yes. >> trevor: okay. we're going to keep that tape. >> keep that baby. let me tell you why -- >> trevor: you don't feel pressured to not run against him? >> no. >> trevor: many says i would run if donald trump doesn't run. the only one who hasn't open sly said this is ron desantis. he says i'm not saying anything, and people believe he could be a major on contender. you would? >> i would. if you believe you're the best person, why does it matter who else runs? it's almost disqualifying to say i defer to somebody else. >> trevor: let's say trump runs again and wins the nomination. are you going to support him for president? >> if he doesn't stop talk about this election as being stolen then i can't support anybody who winds you have saying our democracy didn't work. >> trevor: apart from that, you would support him, then? >> no, i'm not going to get into every issue. there are some things i would agree on, some i wouldn't, but to me this continued obsession,

wrongly, in an untrue way, that the election was stolen is just something that -- >> trevor: it's fundamentally eroding the country, right? >> i can't be supportive. unless there's something you can prove in court that went wrong -- and he tried and couldn't 60-plus times -- then you've got to be a grownup about it and say the other guy won. al gore in 2000 fought it hard all the way to the united states supreme court, but when he lost, he looked in the camera and he said, george w. bush is the president, and i'm conceding. >> trevor: it's the peaceful transition of power that defined america's democracy for that long. >> that's what he didn't do, what donald trump didn't do and that's why i got so angry about it. >> trevor: the last part of the book is what i find interesting, saving the republican party, also from the dangerous policies of joe biden. >> yeah. >> trevor: you argue in the book that the problem with joe biden is that he ran as a unifier and you say he hasn't tone that. what do you mean by that?

>> he ran not only as a unifier but a moderate. he was the guy in the primaries that kamala harris and cory booker and bernie sanders and all were saying wasn't liberal enough, he's too moderate. now all of a sudden his policies are way left. >> trevor: he said if i win we'll put forward some to have the most progressive policies this country's ever seen. >> but the theme of his campaign was not that. he was going to bring the country back together. you can't unify the country by going way left or right because most of the country is not way left or right. we can't deny a guy elected president with over 300 electoral votes just a year ago is now in a situation where his approval ratings are in the low 40s, upside down 12 or 15 points depending on the polls, and doesn't seem to be getting better soon. the real question is joe biden at 78 years old, does he have the political skills any longer to get out of that hole. i think that's what we're going to have to wait and see. i don't know, i'm skeptical

about it. i think he would have been much better off if he had been the joe biden he had been all the years he was in the senate and try to bring the country together that way rather than try to be f.d.r. >> trevor: do you think there was a senate to bring together? an issue i have is mitch mcconnell will always say, well, we've got to do this thing together, then what happens when the time comes, he blocks people. mitch is a genius when it comes to knowing how to, you know, figure things out. >> trevor: >> he is. >> trevor: so was there a senate to bring together? i'll tell you why i'll add on to this. look at the republicans who voted for the infrastructure bill. those 13 republicans who stepped in and said this is a bipartisan thing we agreed upon and now trump has come out against them, multiple republicans have come out and said they betrayed the party but, no, it was bipartisan and that's how we got here. >> let me tell you the opposite about that, in the senate you didn't see that happen. 19 republicans voted for the bill in the senate including mitch mcconnell. mitch mcconnell voted for that bill, and, so, i think there is

a senate available to be brought together. not on everything, but on this there was. >> trevor: right. >> what's going on in the house, i think, is much more a symptom of the gerrymandering that we have. the senate, two for everybody. in the house, you've got these gerrymandered district where some people are in the far right or left districts. all they're worried about is the primary, never the general election. so they run in the other direction, both parties. with eneed to stop this gerrymandering in the country so that there's more competitive districts so people care more about getting things done than they care about just pleasing, you know, any one particular constituency. >> trevor: i definitely agree with you on that. thank you for the time and joining me again. >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: congratulations on the book. i'm excited. i hope you run for two reasons, one, because you make things interesting and, two, because you're one of the few people who on that stage is probably going to say something real to donald trump. so i hope you run. >> thank you. and listen, you know i'll

provide plenty of fodder for r for you on your program. >> trevor: you will be on a beach one day and i will be there to see it. >> thanks, trevor. great to see you. >> trevor: governor chris christie's "republican rescue" book is available right now. we're ♪ ♪ xfinity rewards are our way of thanking you just for being with us. enjoy rewards like getting illumination's minions movie on us. xfinity mobile benefits. exclusive experiences, like the chance to win tickets to see watch what happens live. andy cohen: hey! it's me! and tasty recipes from bravo's top chef cheftestants that'll have you cooking like a pro. the longer you've been with us... the more rewards you can get. join for free on the xfinity app. our thanks. your rewards.

tonight, but before we go: native american families suffer from food insecurity and hunger daily. but the native american heritage association, with the help of generous donors, is committed to fighting hunger with emergency food supplies and basic life necessities.

if you can, donate at the link below to help native american families stay warm, safe, healthy and fed this thanksgiving. until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember: don't just be one of those people complaining about oil supplies. grab a shovel and be part of the solution. now, here it is -- your moment of zen. >> that's right, i said it. this shiesle is rizle when it comes to messing with congress' subpoenas. >> the shiesle is for rizle. that's the second time i've had to correct you today. >> what did you say. >> you said rizle. >> trevor: what did you say. >> for rizle. frank: i got no legroom back here. move your seat forward. it's as far as it goes. there's a mechanism. you just pull it and throw your body weight. i pulled it. it doesn't go. if you want the legroom, say you want the legroom!

don't blame the mechanism! all right, dad, we're five blocks from the house. sit sideways. like an animal. because of her, i have to sit here like an animal. serenity now! serenity now! what is that? doctor gave me a relaxation cassette. when my blood pressure gets too high, the man on the tape tells me to say, serenity now! are you supposed to yell it? the man on the tape wasn't specific. what happened to the screen door? it blew off again? i told you to fix that thing. serenity now!

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