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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  December 16, 2021 1:15am-2:00am PST

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you made me look stupid. i'm gonna sue you too! - well, fine! go ahead and sue me! - i will! i'll sue you in england! - you are so sued, kid! - well, go on then, sue me! - we're going to! - okay, good, do it! i'm not scared of you! sue me! captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com >> trevor: what is christmas without money changing hands? think about it. imagine santa is coming what? to eat cookies and tell you he was there. the point is he's giving you gifts. gifts are bought with money.
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jesus, when he was born, what did the people do? they brought gifts. they didn't come empty-handed. they knew, if you come as a broke-ass bitch. the son of god has been born. what did you bring? "i didn't think i needed to bring anything." christmas is all about giving. you give things to people. they brought the most expensive gifts as well-- gold franken sense and mhyrr. you buy them shit they can use later on in life. i'm sick of people buying baby things. they can't use baby things. you buy a onesy. the child has outgrown it in a month. i buy babies bitcoin. if your baby gets born, your baby gets bitcoin. you can thank me in 20 years. >> announcer: coming to you from the heart of times square, in new york, the only city in america, it's "the daily show. tonight:
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this is "the daily show with trevor noah." >> trevor: hey, what's going on, everybody? welcome to "the daily show," i'm trevor noah. let's jump straight into today's headlines. we kick things off with omicron: it's the reason santa ain't coming in your house this year. you can find your gifts in the front yard. today, dr. fauci announced that three doses of the current vaccines offer good enough protection against omicron; that, as of now, we don't need any new omicron-specific vaccines. and that,s my friends, is great news. it's like finding out your old charger works with your new phone. and that's great news for everybody. that means your old conspiracy theories work for omicron, too. you don't have to think of new conspiracy theories. that shit is hard.
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"this new omicron vaccine is gonna...uh...make your blood gay? ah, man, i'm out of ideas." but just because we don't need new vaccines, that doesn't mean omicron isn't turning into a big problem. the c.d.c. says it could soon lead to a major covid wave in america, and it looks like when it comes to america's sports leagues, that wave is already here. >> professional sports are being hit hard by a surge in covid cases. a league source tells cnn that 28 n.f.l. players tested positive yesterday. that's in addition to 37 players testing positive on monday. the two-day total more than doubles the number of cases in the previous two weeks. the n.h.l. postponing its ninth game because of multiple players testing positive. and in the n.b.a., a plethora of players will miss time as a result of being placed in the league's health and safety protocols. 31 players are on the list, according to cbs sports, including bucks star giannis antetokounmpo, the reigning finals m.v.p. he'll be out for tonight's game against the pacers. in brooklyn, the nets, they were nearly forced to cancel their match-up with the raptors. seven players in the n.b.a.'s health and saftey protocols,
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including superstar james harden. they had the league minimum eight players available for this game. >> almost nobody on the brooklyn bench tonight at barclays center. look at that." >> trevor: oh, no, not this shit again, guys. not this shit again! you remember the last time? one week, we were like, "huh, lots of n.b.a. players getting covid." and the next week, we were all at home showering with our amazon packages. i mean, so many players in the n.b.a. are getting covid right now that they're gonna have to change the logo. in fact, there's so many players who have it, that i actually feel bad for the players who on the team were hanging up on the without you. the one thing i don't think they should be doing is cancelling games. yeah, i said it. everyone hates that. and i get that the teams have barely any players left, but, like, just make them play anyway. i don't know about you, but
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i'd watch the hell out of a basketball game that was one on five. could you imagine watching a football team where the quarterback has no offensive line to protect him? the jntsz already do that? that doesn't seem safe. so this might end up great for the fans. in fact, you know when you were watching a game, you hoped the coach would look up in the stands and say, we need you to help us win the game." that's why everybody wins a jersey although, knowing how quickl look at you, loser. you have omicron and you don't play basketball! 50eu78 not looking forward to what the old prayers have to say at the barber shot.
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"n.b.a. players just don't play defense against viruses anymore. bill russell would never have let omicron's spike proteins penetrate his cellular membranes! sheeet!" but let's move on from corona to something else that goes after your body without your permission: andrew cuomo. back when he was governor, cuomo took a break from getting people in nursing homes killed to write a book about how brilliantly he handled the pandemic. and that book made him very, very rich, at least until now. andrew cuomo is facing new troubles this morning. a state ethics panel ruled that cuomo must now repay $5.1 million that he earned from a book that he wrote during the covid-19 pandemic. that book was a memoir on the handling of the pandemic. the panel determined cuomo used state resources and government staffers to help prepare that book, even though his lawyer previously said otherwise. the $5 million bill must be repaid by next month. but some of those funds have already been donated to charity and also added in a trust for his daughters. >> trevor: i mean, if the money is in a trust fund for
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your adult daughters, keep that. but the money to charity, he's gonna have to give it back. i actually feel bad for the charities, though, losing that money right before christmas: "i'm sorry, orphans, no presents this year. because governor cuomo used the office printer. i know, i know. but, yes, cuomo may have to give back all of his book money. which is fine with me. i mean, i don't understand why politicians are writing books while they're in office in the first place. you're just kind of flaunting how you got distracted with a side gig. honestly, between being governor and writing this book, it's a wonder tjat he found time to sexually harass anyone at all. the bigger issue for me when i think about it, the money shouldn't go back to the government because he used government resources. no, the money should go back because he wasn't doing the thing. if you wrote a book about the thing you were supposed to be doing and you weren't, you
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shouldn't get the money. just made this up. hey, put your legs in the other legs. i had a hernia because of your shit, man. we have been talking about how people have been quitting their jobs yeah, you might find this hard to believe, but most peoples' dream job is not being berated by a customer at applebee's. so people are quitting to write that screenplay, or start tha small business or whatever that dream is. and one enterprising young woman is making headlines for selling something everyone else gives away for free. >> reality star stephanie matteo of "90 day fiance" has gone viral in a tiktok where she claims to have earned over $90,000 selling her farts in a jar for $500 each. >> hey, guys. today i'm going to show you the day in the life of a girl who sells her farts in a jar.
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so i like to get things rolling with some beans, a protein muffin, sometimes even a yogurt-- less sugar is better. some hard boiled eggs. while i was waiting for those farts to develop, i like to read. i'm very smart, like to read. then after i'm ready to go, i go ahead and do my work, do my job. i don't need to show you that, guys. i go ahead and add a rose pedal because i feel like they attach the scent and make it last longer. and when i'm done, i like to leave a personalized note. >> trevor: props to that woman on making that money. no, this isn't the carbon-capture technology we were hoping for. but i guess if everyone did it, we could solve climate change! why didn't you think of this, greta?
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now, look, i know a lot of people will see this story and wonder, who the hell is blowing hundreds of dollars on a fart? but, i mean, it's no dumber than n.f.t.s. people are dropping a million dollars on things that don't even exist. at least with a fart jar, you get to keep a jar. so i'm not gonna judge anybody for buying one of these jars. you're into what you're into. what i will say i am confused about is what you actually do with the fart jar once you have it. like, do you open the jar right away and get one hit? or do you keep it in its packaging forever, like a collectible? or do you keep it for a few years and open it for a special occasion? "hey, honey, great news. i finally got that promotion. how about we celebrate with a jar of chateau de-pew. it was a great year. everyone was stuck inside. powerful farts. the only thing that bothers me about this is how expensive these farts are.
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i mean, for $500, that jar better work like a large coke at the cinema. every time i bring it back, i better get a free refill. do the thing, lady, do the thing. because at $500 a fart, there's gonna be a lot of people out there who can't afford to buy a their own, and i don't care what anybody says, that's not right. ♪ ♪ ♪ the fact is, fart inequality is a growing issue right now, and it affects millions of people around the world, which is why, if you can, i'm asking you to consider donating to the international flatulence fund. because nobody should have to deal with the shame and embarrassment of telling their children that there will be no farts under the christmas tree this year. thank you. all right, let's move on to something else. all month long, we've been looking back at 2021: the least bad year of the last 2 years. we've remembered the highs, the lows, and those six weeks this summer that kind of felt normal. there was even this one day in july i forgot to wash my hands!
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crazy, i know. crazy. and now that the year is almost over, we wanted to take a look at what was really on people's minds this year. so, first, i searched deep within myself... and i got no results. so then we asked google-- hashtag ad-- and they gave us all the trending questions and moments and people that the world searched for in 2021. so tonight, let's take a look at 2021 through the questions we asked the internet in our final year-in-review segment: "the year in search." ♪ ♪ ♪ the first thing i want to start with is that google also sent us the year's trending searches about me, yeah, like, "how tall is trevor noah?" my doctor says i'm 5'11", but 6'2" is my goal height. i'm hoping to hit it next year. they also searched, "what accent
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does trevor noah have?" obviously, i'm australian. but ever since i got hit in the head, i've talked like this. ( very slowly in australian accent ) but i've been goin' ta speech theripy, and i'm slowly gettin' bittah, mate! but what i really learned from the "year in search" is that 2021 was a year of healing. and everyone had a lot to heal from. there was the coronavirus itself, the trauma of the past two years. personally, i had to heal from all muscles i pulled from hugging people again. it had been so long, my body wasn't used to it. and part of healing was getting back into the world. we finally got to spend time with our families again, and as a wise philosopher once said, "it's all about family." and the reason we were able to start living our lives again was thanks to the vaccine. because vaccines in america are readily available now, but you have to remember, when they first dropped, everyone was trying to get them all at once. i had to constantly refresh a website to book an appointment
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at a stadium. it was like i was trying to buy my immune system beyonce tickets. yes, we were still dealing with the pandemic, but as the world reopened, we had to take on other challenges as well. and that included taking care of our mental health. this year, it felt that the conversation about mental health has been destigmatized. that's thanks in part to people like naomi osaka and simone biles, who spoke out about their own struggles. they both showed how important it is to put your mental health first. because if simone biles can take a mental health day from the olympics, you can cancel those catch-up drinks with your friend you haven't seen in three years. in fact, i'll let you in on a little secret. ( whispers ) they want to cancel, too. another step people took toward healing this year was searching for a better work-life balance, because 2021 made people reconsider work: do you have to work in person, or can you stay remote? is it time to look for something new? if you do go back, can you pull off being a "hat person" from
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now on? i say, if the pandemic made you a kangol guy, live your truth! this was just one of the ways people tried to come back stronger. we strived to be more resilient, and to get our voices back, which for some was a metaphor, but maybe for some people, it was literal. maybe they lost their voice from covid. maybe they traded it to a sea witch in exchange for true love-- or better yet, a pair of yeezys. and when it came to people getting their voices back, it was a big year. meghan and harry told their story to oprah. britney spears was freed from her family's unjust conservatorship. she's free, people! she can say and do whatever she wants now. she can even see that snake again. it's been 20 years! and people weren't just interested in healing their own lives this year. they wanted to heal the nation and the world, whether it was black lives matter, l.g.b.t.q. rights, fighting anti-semitism, or stopping violence against
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asian people. except in the movie "shang chi," because that movie was dope. and let's be honest, superhero movies need fighting. you can't have all the characters being like, "i guess we'll just talk through our problems. may i please have the ten rings? i asked nicely!" we also spent 2021 trying to heal the planet, too, because climate change is one thing that definitely didn't quit its job after covid. and so many people did their part, from the world leaders at the cop-26 climate summit, to your aunt who re-gifted you the socks you gave her for her birthday last year. it's not rude. it's reducing her carbon footprint. so that was 2021: a year of healing and recovery. and, hopefully, it'll put us all on the right track for a great 2022. when we come back, dulce sloan takes a look at a holiday you might have forgotten. but first: here's a look at "google's year in search." ♪♪ this year has been extremely challenging for me.
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i am broken. and i am healing. i'm here at the memorial wall. i wanted to do something to remember my mom. for some reason, i'm having anxiety. obviously it's normal with everything that's going on right now. i think i'm going to take a break for a while. you can get through it. and if you can get through it, there's a greater reward on the other side. just like anybody else, i'm trying to do my little part to try and save my community. ta-da! i'm just really excited we're back open. and i am smiling under my mask! incredible scenes on the day the fans came back. welcome back to the theater! you guys, it's been so long! you're looking at yourself in the mirror, and you're just like, “there. i. am.” be your best. never, ever, ever stop dreaming. i don't care what they tell you.
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...we the jury in the above entitled manner as to count three find the defendant guilty. i am proud to be asian. we are not drowning, we are fighting. we cannot keep quiet about climate injustice. no action is too small. we just have to band together as a community, and get people's lives back. my son. that even as we grieved, we grew. that even as we hurt, we hoped— that even as we tired, we tried, that we'll forever be tied together, victorious. where's mom? she said she would be home in time for the show. don't worry, sweetie. she promised she'd be here for it. ooh! nice shot! thanks! glad we have xfinity, with wifi speed faster than a gig!
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me too! woah, look! mom is on tv! she's amazing! (cheers) xfinity brought us together, after all! power your whole home this holiday with wifi speeds faster than a gig. click, call, or visit a store today. sing 2
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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." we all know the sights of the holiday season: christmas trees, menorahs, frat guys in santa costumes passed out in their own puke. but you might also see one of these. what is it? dulce sloan explains, in another episode of "dulsayin." >> 'twas the night before kwanzaa and all through the house, everybody was asking, "what is this holiday all about?"
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♪ ♪ ♪ kwanzaa, it's the hot day your white friends think your black friend celebrate. if you'd like to know more about it, i'm happy to tell you. on december 26, black families gathering for seven days to honor their african heritage and celebrate the values of the black community like unity, self-determination, and beyonce. and some think kwanzaa has ancient roots. and it does. if you think doing the mashed potato smoking mint balls on a shag rug is ancient. kwanzaa was actually created in 1966 by molana kuranga, who changed his birth name from ronald because no one wants to celebrate something invented by a guy named ronald. after seeing the 1965 riots in l.a., he wanted a way for african americans to honor their african roots and reaffirm their cultural connections. so he created kwanzaa, naming the holiday after the swahili
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frayed, mathinda kwanzaa. reminds me when i copied someone's homework but changed it a little bit so the teacher didn't know i cheated. study a variety of african tribes, and pulled from their traditions and adding something about candles,. each night at kwanzaa a candle is lit that represents, unity, self-determination. mmm. whooo! hey, man, i don't know these words. i'm trying. collective work and responsibility: cooperative economics: perfect. creativity: faith: the seventh night, people exchange gifts and the gifts are often hand made. why? because kwanzaa is meant to
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stand against the commercialism of christmas, and because hand made gifts are much harder to regift. at first, kwanzaa had a hard time catching on in part because there's a lot of holiday competition during this time of year-- christmas, hanukkah, the lexus december to remember sales event. also because seven days is a lot of time to spend with family. even jesus could only take three days in heaven with his dad before he came back to earth because he needed a break. it didn't help that he wasn't the best dude. if santa went to prison for smacking around santa claus, rudolph wouldn't be the only one with a red nose. kwanzaa didn't pick up steam until the late 70s, and suburban black parents wanted to connect their children to their heritage. where there are black people with money there are companies pretending to care about black culture. soon kwanzaa became commercialized. the dream!
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commercials, sesame street. even white ladies on the food network making kwanzaa cake. ugh! at least i think that's a cake. that looks like something you make when you're drunk at 4:00 a.m. the point is kwanzaa had arrived. 30 years after its first celebration, 10 million americans were celebrating kwanzaa. even the u.s. government acknowledged it. bill clinton made the first presidential declaration marking the holiday, although i bet he was just trying to get another invite to arsenio. the u.s. postal service even commissioned a kwanzaa stamp. check it out. it's the closest thing we're going to get to reparations. but kwanzaa's moment in the sun didn't last long. after the 90s, interest in the holiday declined. and now only 4% of americans celebrate it, which to me just reflects the changing of the times. younger black people don't feel the need to have a holiday to affirm their blackness when black culture is way more visible and easy to engage with nowadays. there's black twitter, black
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panther, slicked-down baby hair. and honestly, kwanzaa is a complicated holiday. it has a problematic beginning, and it can sometimes come off as african cosplay. and it's an excuse to have good food. but maybe the best part of kwanzaa is, whether you celebrate it or not, you can pretend to celebrate it. so my white friends will buy me gifts. siri, what does that mean? oh, white lady, she don't know. >> trevor: thank you so much, dull say. all right, when we come back, the star of the new show "anne boleyn," jodie turner-smith, will be joining me in the studio. so don't go away.
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look, it's just like when i tell people about saving with geico. be confident. stand up straight. and speak with purpose. yeah? go on, give it a practice run. kelsey. kelsey. marriage? oh. okay. look maybe you should just show her this beautiful helzberg diamond ring? that's a better idea. yeah, maybe not in the bathroom. oooh! oh my word! geico. it's easy to switch and save. six days of the week, when you steal a fry from your friend, they can say, "hey, i paid for those." but on free fries friday, they can't. free fries friday at mcdonald's. ♪ ba da ba ba ba. ♪ it's all gone, son. oh, no, sam's. -this one! -again? ♪ ♪ hello! -here you go. -thank you. ♪ ♪
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what's all this? you can't have a bookstore without books. ♪ ♪ thank you all so much. [applause] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is actor jodie turner-smith. she's here to talk about portraying anne boleyn in the new miniseries that chronicles her final days. >> how is your daughter enjoying married life, uncle?
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>> very well. >> to be married to the king's son is an honor, even if he is a bit timid. >> it is. >> one that i encouraged, if you remember. >> i do. >> i hear the marriage has not yet been consummated. unconsummated marriages are precarious, as you know. i would hate for anyone to try and separate them. >> trevor: jodie turner-smith. welcome to the show ( laughs ) how you doing? >> i'm wonderful. >> trevor: you're much friendlier than you appear in the show. but welcome to it. it's good to have you here. like many people, i became a fan of yours because of "queen & slim," and here you are now playing another queen, your majesty, but a very different kind of queen. let's talk a little bit about the journey you have been on. what's it been like. >> it's so funny, everyone says
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10-year overnight success. >> trevor: right, right. >> because you're there working away, and nobody sees it. and they see you, and suddenly they're like, "you were here. and it happened so quickly." i was so blessed to get that movie. "queen & slim" changed my life. i try to work really hard and hope to learn something. >> trevor: yes. >> from everybody that i'm with because i understand that i have so much to learn and i'm just growing and it just feels like the world is my oyster, and that feels really nice. >> trevor: it really is, it really is because of everything you're doing. you inspire people in your personal life by being you. for those who are fans of "dawsonia creek," they know who your husband is. congratulations, you have a five-month-old. >> no, she's 20 months old now. >> she's 20 months old. >> i did "anne boelyn" when she was five months. that's what's sticking in your head. >> trevor: just the way that you're like, what? i feel the same way.
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i'm so shocked that she's that aim. >> trevor: if you're-- if your daughter was five months old when you were taping this, this is a very, like, painful story, you know. for those who aren't familiar with anne boleyn, you have this monarch who in many ways was defined by her lack of ability to birth a male heir. in the series we see her struggling with miscarriages. we see her struggling with giving birth to a stillborn. it's a really painful journey to be on. do you think that you being a new mom helped you bring, like, a different understanding to the role that you were playing? >> i mean, definitely. i mean, certain nuances i think i definitely took in to "anne boelyn," because it's so specific to that knowledge, that suddenly you get tapped into when you have that. and then, obviously, as an artist and as an actor, you then imagine further to a place that you never existed in, which is
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many of the situations that anne was in, you know. and think about, like, what does the experience that i've been through, like, what does that add to what i think this story means or is or any sort of truth that i'm trying to get to when i, you know, give a perform asbestos. i love the clip you chose for the show was one of the bitchy scenes. >> trevor: you know what, maybe that's something we should talk about. anne boleyn, and i think many other famous women in history, especially in royal terms, have always been defined as one thing or the other. they go like, "you're the madonna. you're the whore." >> women in general, when they're famous, it's just like-- yeah. >> trevor: so you have this character where you've got portray her in a way that i think a lot of us have never seen her. on the one hand she can be a queen. on the other hand, she can be at the mercy of a king. when you play a character like that and you're thinking of her as a woman and a human being, what do you think a lot of people didn't know about anne
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boleyn that you think you learned about when playing the character? >> one of the most interesting things about her was that-- we feel like we know so much about-- we've seen her played so many times and she's endlessly fascinating, and the reality is we don't actually have a record of her in her own words. , you know, like -- >> like at all? wow. >> literally, except for that little inscription that she wrote in her book that said, "the time will come, i, anne boleyn." there are no letters from her to henry, there are no diaries. there's no record of really what she was thinking and feeling. so everything is speculation, which i think is so fascinating ultimately because it's just like we've never-- when telling her story, sort of focused on how her past would have influenced the woman that she was. you know, in her girlhood, she was around powerful women, queens, you know, in the french
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court rubbing elbows with, like, the most important thinkers of the time, philosophers, artists. like, of course she would be inspired by that and feel like she had this greatness that she wanted to bring back to england. >> trevor: i love that i love that. when you-- when you played the character, i mean, you've gotten great reviews for your portrayal of anne boleyn. what was sad to see was, you know, people who were angry-- like, really rainforest is the best way to put it. they were like, "how you can-- you should never be playing anne boleyn. you're black!" i was surprised this was happening, especially in the u.k. let's say shakespeare, everybody has played shakespeare in every shape and form, and sometimes the gender has shifted. with "hamilton" that switched up everyone's ideas of how you would cast. you seemed like you took that in your stride. were you shaken up on that, or did you have a different perspective, i'm play anne boleyn, and no other black
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player has played her but i am and i can." >> of course i was shaken up boy it. as much as you try to separate yourself from things that are toxic, but i care. i'm a caring and feeling person. it definitely is something that is like when people have a strong reaction and, you know, they're not afraid to -- >> oh, yeah, no, no. >> they let you know. >> trevor: people are very strong on the internet. >> they will come to find you to let you know exactly how they feel so, yeah, it's intense. but the hope is that there are some people who it makes uncomfortable, who will watch it anyway and watch it for the human story that we were trying to tell and see what resonates differently for them, because they're looking at it out of the frame of reference of race, and more just about, like, this is a human woman. and we all share these experiences in life. i mean, as human beings, there is no divide between emotion, you know. we've all experienced hurt and
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fear and loss and pain and ambition and desire and love. and so it's like really just trying to tell a story about that. just to say, like, we knew that anne boleyn wasn't a black woman, we were not trying to say that she was. i just want to-- just to say. >> trevor: you didn't discover this on the first day. >> i know anne boleyn was not black. >> trevor: oh, man. >> you heard it here first. >> trevor: jodie, this has been so much fun having you. congratulations on everything. like i say, your journey is just beginning. thank you for allowing us to be part of that. and congratulations on a fantastic portrayal. >> thank you, and thank you for having me. >> trevor: always. "anne boleyn" is available exclusively on amc+ with new episodes streaming thursdays. we're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this.
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christmas trees try so hard. shipstation. the #1 lights, ornaments, of oand lil choo choo trains. c'mon. the best trees, they kinda only need two things. peanut butter and chocolate. not sorry. reese's.
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>> trevor: well, that's our show for tonight. but before we go, last weekend, a series of tornadoes ravaged six states and dozens of towns across the central united states. the global empowerment mission are on the ground in kentucky, and they need your help. so if you can, please donate to their kentucky fund at the link below. you'll be helping to support all of the communities directly impacted by what happened. until tomorrow, stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember: never be ashamed if you fart in front of someone else. you be ashamed that you didn't charge them for it. now, here it is, your moment of zen. >> we've always thought of our heroes as having to do with
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death and war. when we think of joseph campbell and the whole idea of the heroic journey, it's rarely a journey that's about love. it's about, you know, deeds that have to do with conquering, domination, what have you. and so part of what i wanted to say to people is that living as we do in a culture of domination, to truly choose to love is heroic. to work at love, to really let yourself, you know, understand the art of loving. captioning made possible by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪verywher ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ut tep - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪uth par ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪w - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪or nigh
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♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪hbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ ( mu - ♪ come on down to south park ♪south pa ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪
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[school bell ringing] - all right, students, let's take our seats. all apparently, we have a little problemy, we h here at the school which we need to talk about. l you mean the jew problem. good, good.ea the ii'm glad we're finally gonna do something about it. - no, i mean the problem of head lice. in there's been a lice breakout at a school in denver,s bea and we need to make sure nobody spreads it here.d we - somebody might have lice?y migh
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all: ew! e - so today you're all going to the gymnasium to have your scalps examined. - that is completely unnecessary.etely everyone knows that only poor people can get lice.eoe the only person that can spread it here is kenny.reat - [mumbling] what? ...you!what ? - i'm sure this class is clean,! but we're gonna be examinede so that if anyone has the lice, we can stop it before it spreads.can stp lice can live in anybody's hair...ice ca - hello, kelly. how's my baby? - you mean me or the little one? - i mean both. - well, besides a little loneliness w waiting for daddy to come home,waiti - how did a louse like me get so lucky to have a a louse like you?ve - luck had nothing to do with it, travis.thi [all yelling]( all y - cut, cut! - watch your back!tch yor
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- you okay? - sometimes...somet i just worry what kind of worldy what our baby is gonn gonna grow up in. i need to run out to the forested to r and do another sediment analysis. i'm worried we might be overworkingmight b the tertiary layer. - all students make sure you're in line according to your grades when you reach the front of the line,h the f you will go behind the curtaini and remove any hats to be checked. - boy, i sure hopeboy, they don't find lice in my hair. - what do you think happens if you do have it? t - they drag you out of here, put you in this big containment facility, where they stick a cold n metal pipe up your ass with this clear jelly, thic and then they shock your balls. - [gasps] - i'm clean!. i knew i didn't have any stupid lice.knew di - this is ridiculous.. all this just so they can send kennys just and his stupid head lice home. he - [mumbling] dude, ...off! ing ) - have a seat on the stool.ool. [rumbling]

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