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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  January 18, 2022 11:00pm-11:45pm PST

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from being downsized. have a good weekend. the great thing about sports is that it is all about character. and you can learn lessons about life even if you don't win. but we did because we were ahead. >> trevor: what's your top score on wordle? >> what's wordle? >> trevor: what's wordle? oh, hoa, hoa! someone has a life! what's wordle, he says? yeah, wordle is a game you play% online. it's not an app. you have to go online. it's five words, simple words, and you only get five or six attempts to find the word. everyone loves it. you can only play once a day and you're done and that's it. it's the most popular ever for a lot of reasons.
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one, there are five letter words. some apps just want to make you feel stupid. seven letter word that means bad. baddest? >> coming to you from the heart of new york city, the only city in america, it's "the daily show"! djokovic, c.d.c.'s new guidelines and dr. bernice a. king! this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! >> trevor: hey! what's going on? welcome to "the daily show," i'm trevor noah. joining me for today's headlines is my very good friend michael kosta. how you doing? >> just trying to stick to my new year's resolutions. , inc. trying to read upside down more. >> trevor: the purpose being? >> i keep getting these upside down books in the mail. i don't know if it's supply chain or amazon so i just figured instead of throwing them
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out, just learn how to read them. >> trevor: i wish the world had more people like you. >> a lot of people would have just thrown the books away but i'm challenging myself to read upside down. i knew you would get it. >> trevor: you see the world in a different way. >> i could flip it, but then i could read it and i would have to go upside down. it's easier for me to do it like that. >> trevor: somehow, i wonder how this pandemic has gone on for so long because there are people like you in the world and i wonder whiercht we solved it yet. >> that's right. >> trevor: go ahead. legits jump into today's headlines. we begin with the big news from the world of sports and, no, i'm not talking about all the great n.f.l. playoff games over the weekend. i've always said the most exciting famous are the ones that are over in the first quarter. no, i'm talking about novak djokovic, the serbian tennis star whose name is worth up to
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140 points in scrabble. this was supposed to have been a pig week for djokovic, but in my dream of starring weird al, it wasn't meant to be. >> novak djokovic returned to his native serbia after being deported from australia for not being vaccinated against covid. >> the australian government canceled his visa because his not being vaccinated could lead to civil unrest. australia requires everyone to be vaccinated or have a medical exemption. djokovic had add exemption but it sparked sot rage prompting the government to act. 71% of australians wanted djokovic deported. >> trevor: damn! says a lot about you when that many australians says you're too
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dangerous to be in their country. that's where the health minister is a giant poisonous spider. australia is the last country to get deported from. imagine stepping off a 25-hour flight and immediately having to get on to another 25 hour flight. i don't know what djokovic thinks in the vaccine but i couldn't be worse than breathing in farts for 50 hours straight. but then again, it's not surprising djokovic would be against the vaccine. keep in mind, this is a man who says he knows he has a gluten intolerance because he's physically weaker if he's holding a slice of bread. yeah. so dpliewten works like kryptonite for him. you think covid is scary, djokovic could die just walking past a bakery. i will sayics, as hard it is to 1eu6r7 these with djokovic, it is strange the australian government allowed him in and
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changed their minds. what's to stop them from deport ago whole team and how could we get it to be the new york jets? >> also i love how the australian government the proclaiming there's some health component to this as if, i mean, you have been to australia, it's not exactly the healthiest cull- culture. they heat terribly, drink so much beer. you're going to kick him out and still haven't kicked out the stingray that killed steve irwin? do you know what i mean? i can relate to novak djokovic because i have been kicked out a bunch of outback steakhouses and they said it was an issue request my visa, same as him. >> trevor: i don't know what that means but i stand with you. >> what's a guy got to be to play a tournament? what have you got to do, trevor?
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>> trevor: get vaccinated? >> yep. >> trevor: all right, let's move on to technology news. arguably the most important tech breakthrough of the last few years has been 5g and there are a lot of crazy conspiracy theories you might have heard like 5g causes cancer, autism or it's a mind control tool. a few weeks ago it was actually going around that when they turned on 5g, anyone who had gotten the covid vaccine was going to explode. this is a thing people believe, which is ridiculous. i have 5g on my phone and i turned it on before we came out here and nothing happens. see? but it turns out not everyone who has concerns -- ( boom ) >> trevor: yin anyway, turns out not everyone who has concerns about 5g wears a tin hat. >> warning of a catastrophic aviation crisis beginning in less than 24 hours when at&t and
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verizoner are set to launch stronger technology to give faster wireless service. they're wondering if 5g could interfere with altimers. american, delta, united and southwest urging u.s. officials to keep new stronger 5g signals at least two miles away from u.s. airports saying in the letter immediate intervention is needed to avoid significant operational disruption. to be blunt, the nation's commerce will grind to a halt. one union saying its pilots are prepared to ground their planes if the f.a.a. doesn't act. >> trevor: how will they know to ground their planes if there's 5g? just me? look, i'm national monument saying the airlines are making this up. i'm not saying that. but we all remember how they said the same thing about regular cell phones for 20 years, right? yeah?
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remember how terrified they had us, everyone airplane mode or this plane could crash. one time i forgot to turn off my phone and the plane hit turbulence and i looked at my phone and i said, this is me! i'm sorry, everybody. so i don't think the airlines are going to win this fight and honestly if it's true this time, if you tell people that they can download a movie in a few seconds, but there's a slight chance it will crash a plane, pretty sure people are going to be like, yeah, it's worth it. i'll take that chance. fast downloads. >> also, how is this my problem? i mean, you want me to take on the cell phone company industry and the airline industry? you knew 5g was coming. comes after 4g. after 5g is -6g. how high do you want me to go? you're asking me to take on the airlines where i can't get a dpul can of coke or change my middle seat. this is not my problem.
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>> trevor: but crash together, my friend. that's what friendships are about: have you ever seen a pastor who worked too hard to keep the congregation's attention? one pastor in oklahoma, he just outed them all. >> a tulsa church leader facing criticism for smearing his spit on a man's face during a sermon, it happened over the weekend. gross. >> so many people talking about this on social media. pastor michael todd of transformation church in bigsby was talking about how to receive god's vision. he said it could be nasty. >> i just bought my dream car and now you're going to ask me to sell it back and ride in the houthi again? because the vision i'm about to give you, it might get nasty.
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( audience reacts ) >> the pastor says, while he was trying to make a point in his sermon sunday, he realizes that he crossed the line and the guy on stage, that was his brother. >> trevor: how is covid still spreading in america? we're doing everything right! huh? we're doing everything right! look, i know it looks nasty, but i will say this pastor's point that god might ask you to do stuff that other people don't like, he's not wrong. yeah, all these people who are, like, god doesn't want you to wipe your nasty spit on people. yo, somewhere abraham is like, yo, he told me to kill his damn son! i wish he just wanted me to spit on him. do you know how much therapy we had to go do? the pastor says sometimes god may give you a message that may throw you off like phlegm in your face.
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you know the fact that that was his brother he was doing it do makes it worse because now it feels like he just uses the scriptures to mess with his sibling. and god sent a great flood and to show you what the flood looked like i'm going to stick my brother's hand in warm water while he sleeps. ( chuckling ) >> trevor: i see this as a beautiful expression of simplality. >> trevor: this is disgusting. it's gross. >> i didn't want to say anything because it's a black church but what the (~bleep~) is going on dude? is this what black church is about? >> no, that's why it's disgusting. >> that being said, not as bad as what happens at white church. but you're right about, when religion was invented, they were doing some dark shit. >> trevor: they were. >> shows how sensitive we are now. >> trevor: yeah. >> little spit on your space from your bratter. my bratter pinned me down and
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drink orange juice and do the spit down to the face and yo-yo it back up. >> trevor: what? >> i didn't realize my brother was just presenting me with scripture at the time. you didn't do that? >> trevor: no. >> maybe it's just my brother. >> trevor: did you know he was doing this when he was drinking the juice? did you know it was coming? >> sometimes. that's what was tricky. half the time he was just having orange juice. the rest of the time he was getting ready to kick the shit out of me. >> trevor: that's trauma, costa. >> yeah. he's probably watching. and i'm on to you, dude. i guess you won because here i am crying on tv about it. >> trevor: we're going to talk about this on the break. >> yeah, please. >> trevor: we're going to fix this. all right, when we come back, we'll tell you why you're wearing the wrong mask, how to get the right mask and why that mask is also wrong. stay tuned. you see, your brother can't --
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>> yeah. i was just trying to keep reading upside down. >> trevor: you go ahead. >> trevor: you go ahead. >> hustle sure, but for what matters. when you do, it leads to amazing. welcome to the next level. the all-new lexus nx. ♪♪
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>> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! we are now entering year 50 of the coronavirus pandemic, and dealing with life in a pandemic has been a struggle for a lot of people. small business owners, teachers and, of course, people with a chin fetish. but one group having a tougher time than you would expect is the c.d.c. so let's catch up with all the latest in another edition of keeping up with corona. ♪♪♪ from the beginning of this perching, the c.d.c. has tried to give clear, simple guidelines to the public and, from the beginning, they have mostly failed. i mean, do you remember their
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mask chart? shit looked like a traffic light had an aneurysm. i'm not saying telling 300 million people how to behave during a global pandemic is easy but it doesn't seem like the c.d.c. is getting any better at it. >> the c.d.c. updated guidance on masks. according to the agency, cloth masks do not prevent against the virus as effectively than other masks. >> saying any mask is better than none but masks that fit well like n-95s are better protection. the agency asking people to withdraw all masks getting from the experts. >> the n-95s are the only thing that will really protect you. >> trevor: hold on, if cloth mazics don't protect you, tell people they need a better mask. what's this it doesn't really work but it's fine?
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i might as well wear a seat belt with a seat belt drawing on it. apparently that's enough, right? the thing i don't understand is now that we know cloth masks don't work, who are the people who are still wearing them? look, we've pretty much got two teams, the people scared of covid and they're running around looking like bane. then you have people who think covid is total bullshit so they refuse to wear a mask altogether. i don't agree with them but at least they stand by their beliefs and they don't care if their beliefs end up killing their coworkers on the supreme court. you either want to protect yourself your don't. you can't just the tip of the coronavirus. come on. will be like some people saying i wear condoms but only if they're made like a doily. i buy them on etsy. this success. we spent two years building up a wardrobe of masks -- the work
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mask, weekend mask, funeral mask, wedding masks -- too bad. now, if you wore a cloth mask because the c.d.c. was kind of okay with it and got infected with covid, the c.d.c. also has some new guidelines for how long you should isolate from other people. and it turns out those guidelines are weird as hell. >> the same the c.d.c. finds itself facing backlash over some of its other recommendations concerning how long those who have tested positive for covid should isolate, and whether a negative test should be required to end that isolation. >> the c.d.c. says the infected can end isolation if fever-free just give days after a positive test, when a study of infections in the n.b.a. suggests more than a third are probably still infectious. ending day five should include a negative rapid antigen test tweeting one to have the researchers.
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why do all the work to identify infections if we are going to let them just go back to work while still potentially infectious? >> trevor: great point. these c.d.c. guidelines could be sending people back to work while still contagious. it's like the c.d.c. is trying to turn every office into the c.d.c. office. look, if we have to locker alongside deadly viruses every day so would you! why would you test and let the person go? what if the t.s.a. had that philosophy. is that a gun? yeah. all right, go on. to be fair, dr. fauci says the new rules are an attempt to keep the most infectious people at home while also getting essential workers back to work faster. basically everyone has omicron now. if people don't have to be in isolation long, hopefully hospitals can write back nurses, schools can bring back teachers and n.b.a. teams can stop signing local dads they find at
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the ymca. but after you come out of your short isolation. the c.d.c. has weird expectationings of what you should doing next. >> part of the guidance we got from the c.d.c. is what to do after five days of isolation. once you're out, you have no more symptoms, these are the people you should state away from after you and end your isolation. overweight, battling depression, current or former smokers -- >> trevor: the c.d.c. is crazy. you can come out of isolation as long as you don't interact with basically any other person. you're describing legislation. i understand the c.d.c. wants to protect vulnerable populations but this is a legit mine field. you know what's going to help not depress people? everyone staying away from them. not to mention, we're supposed to stay away from overweight people? c.d.c. is going to get people canceled because now you're going to be like, hey, i can't hang out with you for a few
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days. and they're going to be like, why not? uh hhhh -- sounds like the c.d.c. is trying to describe pal specific person but doesn't want to tell them. stay away from a pregnant person who's depressed and has a perm and she's never been to china. i know the virus is confusing. it's constantly changing, learning new things and it's hard to keep up. like trying to stay on top of tiktok trends. it absolutely does not help when the people who have to explain what to do in response to the virus answer like this -- >> at what point does the administration say, you know what? this strategy isn't working, we're going to change strategies. six former administration officials last week wrote the
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open letter urging the administration to change course, to change strategy. is it time? >> it is time for us to do what we have been doing and that time is every day. >> trevor: it is time for us to do what we have been doing and that time is every day? how does that sound so familiar? >> oracle, when will it be done? >> it is time for us to -- do what we have been doing, and that time is every day. >> trevor: now, look, kamala's point is the administration doesn't need a new plan because we have a way out of the pandemic which is everyone getting vaccinated. it did should be obvious that hoping everyone gets vaxxed isn't enough that's why the biden administration is roll out a plan to get everyone in america a test just as soon as it's over. >> the web site where you can order free covid 19 at-home
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tests is up and running. the site quietly launched today. it works. go to www.covid test.gov. that's where you can order your tests. at this point, you can order four per household. and we're told they'll ship within seven to 12 days of ordering, a week to a week and a half. if you place an order wednesday 19th, they should be on the way to you by the end of the month. >> trevor: great tests are finally going to be available to everyone but seven to 12 days? you don't think that's a little too long in a pandemic? i mean, every day is precious. every single day is precious in a pandemic. if anyone should know that it's joe biden. i can't help but think if america took a military approach to covid, this testing thing would be solved like that. because there's no delays when it comes to the american military. america doesn't need bombs and then start building them. america always has bombs ready
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to go! if american wants to drone someone, no one is like, okay, we can place the order now and wait seven to twelve days, unless there's a holiday, then, in that case -- no! boom! that terrorist is gone, baby! what? just the family? boom! still gone! if america was that plo active when it comes to pandemics, we would have gotten the tests months before omicron got here. to be honest with you, i don't know if i trust at-home tests. just going to test ourselves for antigens? before or after we mess up the directions on an ez mac? i know people are frustrated with the government and dispresessed the pandemic seems to never end. when are we going back to normal life and go to work and hang out with friends like we used to? when is "the daily show" going back to an audience? >> you got me! >> trevor: you don't count! it's all a mess! but the good news is it won't be
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a mess much longer because, people, if we just keep doing what we have been doing, then it will be time to keep doing it, every day, until it's time. all right, when we come back, dr. bernice king will join us to talk about the legacy of martin luther king, jr. you don't want to miss it. i lost it, man, i'm sorry.
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so what's yours going to be? ♪ i got... ♪ lebron james: we're all made of different things. ♪ i got, i got, i got, i got ♪ ♪ loyalty, got royalty ♪ own what makes you, you and show the world what you can do. ♪ ...dna ♪ ♪"don't ya leave" by squeak e clean♪ [doorbell] ♪ [doorbell] ♪ [doorbell] all the delivery. no delivery fees. dashpass. we all need help, just different kinds. maybe you need a little. maybe you need a lot. at h&r block, get the expert tax help you need, online and in-person. help is here. >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is dr. bernice
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a. king, the daughter of civil rights leaders martin luther king, jr. and coretta scott king. she's here to talk about advancing the legacy of her parents through her work as the c.e.o. of the king center. dr. bernice king, welcome to "the daily show." >> thank you. i am so honored to be here. >> trevor: let me start by saying happy belated martin luther king, jr. day. i've seldom seen a holiday that seems to be celebrated by as many different people in as many different ways as i have seen with m.l.k. day in america, and as the daughter of dr. martin luther king, jr., i'd love to know what you feel m.l.k. day should be about. >> well, i try to capture it in three ways. it's a time to educate, advocate and activate. and people fall under, you know, each one of those in different ways. some people use this as a time to, you know, advance the teachings of dr. king, and then some people advocate.
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there are people in this nation people are concerned about and they use that time to raise their voices to advocate for issues and groups of people, in fact. and then activate -- how do we capture the holiday under one massive theme and focus? and it became about a day of service. so we started touting a day on, not a day off. >> trevor: in your lifetime, you saw your father go from being one to have the most hated men in america to now being one of the most beloved men in america, but, ironically, almost not because he's changed but because people have changed what he stood for. >> hmm, that's an interesting insight, trevor. i never heard it put that way. wow! yeah, because we have an affinity for dead and deceased leaders. they're more comfortable when they're no longer with us because they are not able to, you know, influence the masses in the same way. kind of like good and evil.
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when you have something so powerful and revolutionary like that, you know, people do want to kind of find the easy, comfortable part of it. >> trevor: right. >> and i agree with you, that that has happened, and that's why we have to continue to be resolute in teaching the whole king. >> trevor: i think there's no escaping the fact his whole essence cannot be spoken about without speaking about your mother coretta scott king. what do you wish people knew about the work she was doing to help for civil rights in america? >> in many ways, i think she was much more advanced, you know, than my father morally and in terms of her insight. she gave him a lot of, as you said, sounding board, feedback when he prepared messages and sermons, but probably one of the most important ways was when he
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spoke out against the vietnam war in 1967, you know. everybody turned against him, literally -- the black leaders, the naacp, urban league -- all turned against him because they felt we had made so much progress on the civil rights front with the johnson administration that we need to kind of, you know, be careful at this point that we don't alienate, yeah. and, so, my mom said, martin, we could really use your moral authority and voice. i mean, look -- when you said he was most hated and now one to have the most loved, what i say to people is the reason all of what we know about dr. king at the level that we know it and why we can't seem to shake him is because she -- she immediately went to work. >> trevor: wow. >> two and a half months afterward, a grieving widow with
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four little children, she had this tremendous call to continue their work, and she was very strategic in everything she did. it's like, to me, that's why i call her the architect of the king legacy. >> trevor: wow. >> because she really provided a blueprint for how we must continue to remember dr. king and his teaching, and in no uncertain thermos she was insistent that we understood those teachings. >> trevor: you see some of the opponents of voting rights using your father's words in their defense or using it on a day to say i'm pro martin luther king, jr. and then almost, you know, ignoring his teachings on what he believed in. you're looking at a country that right now is considering getting rid of the filibuster. how do you grapple with the idea of the filibuster, where voting rights needs to go in america, and the risk of not having a filibuster in a country where
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power goes back and forth the entire time? >> you know, i've had mixed feelings about it. i mean, i've tweeted out about, you know, doing away with it. but, you know, it's a difficult thing because the filibuster is neutral, as we know it, it's how it's used that makes it something for good or for bad. we would not be a democracy if we did not have voting rights, and i agree with the republicans in the sense that we should make it easy to vote and hard to cheat, but how that looks is different. you know. >> trevor: mmm... >> and that's what we need to be talking more about. so it's kind of hypocritical to me to say we should set aside this filibuster and just, at this point, vote on what the majority says for something that's fundamental to everybody. so you've got a way, the work around, you know, like with
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kyrsten sinema and manchin saying the poisonous aspect of our democracy and we have to stop what you said the back and forth, i absolutely agree we have to do that, but the price is what we're looking at, the price of them getting back in charge and saying, okay, you did this and we're going to do this to y'all -- >> trevor: right. >> -- or the damage of millions of people being disenfranchised. that's what we're looking at. >> trevor: i hear you, and it is a dilemma. funny, again, i think that's something your father doesn't get credited enough with is how much strategy he had to put into the movement. >> can you say that again? because that's what's missing today. >> trevor: before i let you go, i want to talk about some of the work you have been doing recently in spreading wonderful messages. many people know you have a
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fantastic book out talking about love and it's a beautiful experience, yes, "it starts with me," it's a wonderful story of a young girl going out there and changing the world, in her expression of love, and doing things whilst also, you know, loving people, not just sitting back. but you're also the c.e.o. of the king center and you've done something really really revolutionary and different for an organization in that you've moved a lot of your lessons and a lot of the ideas about nonviolence online. talk me through that a little bit, if you don't mind. >> we found a way to kind of develop an online experience that is reflective of what we do in person. so nonviolence for us is a love-centered way of thinking, engaging, speaking and acting that brings about personal, cultural and societal transformation. daddy said, in "i have a dream " ," it's a part most people miss
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in his speech, we must ever conduct our struggle on the high plain of dignity and discipline. he was talking about how we talk, too. words are power. death and life are in the power of the tongue. you can murder somebody with your tongue. when some people say i'm not violent because they don't do anything physically, it's not confined to that. we clear that up in this online experience. for some people think love is this mamby pamby weak kind of thing. no, love means you make sure you're trying to elevate the situation and the person. so i try to participate in that part of the struggle. that's what nonviolence really represents. i think if we get to that place, we can have these hard conversations. but i'd like to talk to people the way where their defenses come down. >> trevor: i love that. >> i'm learning how to listen,
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because that's a nonviolent tool as well. listen, as my friend john bryant of operation hope would say, listen without being defensive and speak, talk without being offensive. >> trevor: thank you so much for continuing to share not just your father's legacy but your mother's as well, and, you know, a story that has changed the nation forever. thank you so much for joining us. >> thank you so much. >> trevor: don't forget, people, dr. king's book, "it starts with me," is available now. for more information on the king center's
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this is elodia. she's a recording artist. 1 of 10 million people that comcast has connected to affordable internet in the last 10 years. and this is emmanuel, a future recording artist, and one of the millions of students we're connecting throughout the next 10. through projectup, comcast is committing $1 billion so millions more students, past... and present, can continue to get the tools they need to build a future of unlimited possibilities. >> trevor: that's our show for tonight. before we go -- if you liked what you heard from dr. bernice king tonight, then consider supporting the king center. the king center is dedicated to educating the world on the life and teachings of dr. martin luther king junior, and to inspiring new generations to carry forward his unfinished work. if you can help support his
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vision, please donate at the link below. until tomorrow -- stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember: cloth masks are not for covid protection. they're just for robbing banks. be safe. now here it is -- your moment of zen. ♪♪ ♪♪ >> wide open! touchdown! [♪♪] woman: careful, this plate is extremely hot. thank you. ow! ow. i just told you it was hot. why'd you touch it? i just wanted to know what your idea of hot is.
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