>> coming to you from the heart of times square in new york city, the only city in america, it's "the daily show." tonight, no more rings for brady. we're all gonna die. and bakari sellers! this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! >> trevor: hey! what's going on, everybody? welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. joining me for today's headlines is our very own roy wood, jr.! what's going on, roy! happy black history month. >> happy black history month to you. i like black history month. it's a time to reflect, think about our past and everything that's important from the past. which reminds me, i don't know if i got that 200 from you that you owed me. remember from the super bowl two years ago when we bet and you said you was going to venmo. >> trevor: yeah, i think it's good for us to let the past stay in the past.

happy black history month. let's turn to today's headlines. we kick things off with big news from the world of sports. we're two weeks away from the super bowl, the one day a year where men can express their emotions openly, and one familiar face who won't be there this year is tom brady, quarterback for the tampa bay buccaneers and almost as many rings as shang chi. bready appeared in every super bowl dating back to 1902. maybe 18920. if it feels weird watching it without him this year, get used to it because he'll never be in it again. >> breaking news, seven-time super bowl champion tom brady retiring. the 44-year-old quarterback played 22 1/2 seasons including 22 with the new england patriots. we won seven super bowls. >> this is difficult for me to

write but here it goes, i have loved my 1/2 career and now it is time for me to focus my time and energy on other things that require my attention. >> trevor: other things that require my attention? that's a weird reason to retire. sounds like he's got, like, household chores. i'd love -- i've loved playing in the n.f.l. but i have 20 years of laundry piling up. time to call it quits. you have to admire his journey. he was pecked almost dead last in the draft when he started his career. yet, he ended up dominating the game for 20 years, which is an important lesson for the little kids out there who might be coming in last. and that lesson is -- this probably won't happen to you. see, this was only going to happen one time and tom brady took it. i'm sorry. if you keep coming in dead last, you probably want to quit and do something else. you've got this.

>> if we're being honest, this retirement isn't a surprise to anyone. what is surprising is that at 44 years old this dude was still dominating the n.f.l. think about it the n.f.l. where people car accident each other for a living and this guy was doing that in his 40s. most people i know in their 40s are, like, oh, oh, my back hurts, i think i slept too long. and now that he's put up his cleats, the question is was tom brady the best football player of all time? some people say yes because he holds all the records and won the most super bowls. other people say, no, because he didn't do that for my team! so it will be a big debate for a while. but there's no doubt he is a legend of the game. congrats, tom brady, on a wonderful wonderful career. although, sadly, it means now gronk has to be put down. let's go out blind the barn, gronk! we're going to take you someplace special.

>> you know what i respect about tom brady for the most part, man, is he kept his scandals on the field, you know, deflategate with the ball and whether it was a tuck thumb rule. he had his logger, it was the biggest, oh, we don't know about brady, no drug, no arrest, no drama getting arrested, none of that, not murder his wife. his wife is very unmurdered. >> trevor: all right, let's move on to the hottest fad on the internet right now and, no, not talking about hard core pornography, i'm talking about wordle, the online puzzle game. worked is especially interesting because of where it came from. it was invented by one guy in brooklyn who made it as a gift for his girlfriend, which is

really sweet or a really subtle way to tell her that she doesn't know how to spell. i need you to brush up on your five-letter words. you're really embarrassing me at parties. his vision in wordle was to be simple -- free, no ads, no app and not addictive, just pure fun. yesterday that vision paid off when the "new york times" announced that it had bought wordle from this guy for more than a million dollars. which is great for the guy, but now everyone else is wondering will wordle still be free? so cnn asked that question to the "new york times," and the answer was -- uh -- you know, you guys tell me what you think. >> jonathan, i don't want to make this a hostile interview but you need to answer the question that every wordle usedder wants to know, will you commit right here and now that forevermore in perpetuity wordle will be free to everybody? ( laughter ) >> thank you for having me.

it's great to be here. yes, when wordle comes to "new york times," it will be free to play for everyone. >> that doesn't answer my question. when it comes to the "new york times," it will be free. how about five years from now, ten years from now? >> i wish i had that kind of crystal ball but i don't. >> so you won't commit wordle will always be free because it's free now. >> that's right. it is free. when it comes to the times it will be free and, yeah. >> trevor: well... that took a weird turn. i mean, at the beginning he was like, ha, ha, you're going to make us pay for wordle? then all of a sudden he was like, are you going to make us pay for wordle! answer me, bitch! you know how nervous the "new york times" guy was in the beginning, ha, ha -- then look, man, please, man. the man had the skepticism of a guy burned by a drug dealer.

this is totally free? then a week later, i see what you did. yeah, i'll see what you did. you got me, man, you got me good. i don't know if you play wordle. i do. i was kind of sad when i heard this. i was like does this mean wordle loses its purity? now are we going to have to pay to play or is the web site going to start tracking me? am i going to start getting targeted ads for the letter f? you know? >> you're asking the wrong questions. the question is not whether or not wordle is going to remain free. the question is will wordle still be easy. have you tried to do a "new york times" crossword puzzle? i don't know none of them words! the wordle, that's the beauty of wordle. wordle is for people who are kind of dumb. i don't know all of -- do you know how many five letter words there are in the english language? over # 150,000. in the wordle data base, there's only 2500. so it's just the dumb words!

it's good, crank, shift, spark -- i don't know. i just know once the "new york times" get their hands on it, they're going to add all the words. oh, you got wordle wrong today, today's word was -- and i don't need that. i need wordle to say free and dumb. >> trevor: speaking of things that are popular online, an insane viral video out of suburban pennsylvania. if you are in the mood for dinner and a snow last night, this my friends is where you wanted to be. >> cbs philadelphia says a massive brawl broke out at a pennsylvania golden corral restaurant over an alleged steak shortage. former restaurant employee says he was told that the fight may have started when the buffet ran out of steak and a customer cut in line. >> take a close listen and a man

can be heard saying, "all i wanted was some steak." >> all i wanted was some steak! >> trevor: america, america, this is you! this is how you know covid is over for people. americans are ready to go indoors again and fist fight over food. we're back, baby! give me some of that lettuce, bitch! the only silver lining in the story is the fight happened at a golden corral. if the fight was at a waffle house the high chairs would still have kids inside them. did you see the guy throwing the chair? he smashed the light. he said i wasn't even involved in this shit now the light is smashed. also a lot of people don't understand how to throw a chair. they think they know how to throw a chair. you could see these were first time chair throwers. these were like buffet people and then the buffet has never not had the buffet. they didn't know what the do. people were losing their minds.

thei know golden corral was embarrassed but think about the compliment to the cooks, your steak is riot worthy. the managers at ruth's chris are probably yelling at their chefs, why isn't anyone getting stabbed over our steaks? step up your game, people! >> i saw this, which, oh, by the way, side bar, i don't know if you knew this, former golden corral employee right here, roy wood, jr., tallahassee, florida, north monroe street, 1999 to 2001, baby, i have been in them trenches. never seen nothing like that in my life. but i was calm when i was watching the video. no panic. did you think people were going to get hurt? >> trevor: yeah. >> no, nobody was going to get hurt in that fight. have you eaten at a buffet in america? >> trevor: yeah. >> then you know this is the

knife. i stole a lot of knives when i was working at a golden corral. this is a traditional buffet knife from an american buffet restaurant. you can't get no poke action with that. so nobody was going to die in that. you can't saw nobody to death at a buffet fight. that's one thing i appreciated about the video is nobody was on the ground. that's the thing. also, and for you to talk about waffle house, don't put golden corral's name in the same sentence as waffle house. waffle house fights are one on one. golden corral is a family experience. you look at the tape, everybody is fighting, family coming together. even in violence, golden corral on mission, bro. >> trevor: i didn't notice that and i'm sorry for lumping them all in. >> very disrespect. >> trevor: i apologize. >> also a lot of different races in there. a lot of white people in there fighting, too. that was the thing i was appreciated. black history month, white

people, allies fighting be -- well, not with black -- well, in the same fight. >> trevor: about the same thing. >> pretty much. yeah, man, i got my name tag. it's the one thing i kept. i never quit golden corral. you never know. >> trevor: you just left? >> i told them i would be back. >> trevor: technically you have two bosses, me and someone at golden corral who says roy works for me as well. >> his name is ken mckracken. put this on real quick in case he sees me because he needs to know i'm on the clock. i got to get my bread. >> trevor: guess you learned something new about your friends every day. let's take a quick break and when we come back, we'll look at all the exciting ways that you can get rid of your corpse. don't want to miss it. i didn't think you don't have another job -- ( ringing ) >> hang on. this is golden corral. hey, mr. mckracken, what's going on?

i'm on my way. yes, sir. >> trevor: bring me back a starter, please roy! (vo) for me, one of the best things about life is that we keep moving forward. we discover exciting new technologies. redefine who we are and how we want to lead our lives. basically, choose what we want our future to look like. so what's yours going to be?

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having trouble getting granite. >> a lot of products we sell, it's mined in india, brazil or italy and when they sat down they weren't sending anything out. >> this originally would take oh maybe two months to get. now eight months. >> before we move on, can i say for a second, i love a grave stone that shows someone's priorities, like most of the time it's like loving father, devoted husband, and this dude was, like, screw can you, family, i will be playing golf with jesus. i'm sorry but eight months is too long to wait for a grave stone. after eight months how are you going to remember where you buried the person? all right, everyone you remember this leaf and what it looks like. we'll put the grave stone in eight months. got it? an orange leaf with a little i think the of yellow, something like that. obviously, this is extremely

inconvenient for a lot of people but it got me thinking maybe this grave stone problem could be an opportunity to reexamine how modern society handles the dead because it's actually kind of a big problem, starting with cemeteries because, yes, cemeteries are the number one place golf kids go to make out -- goth kids go to make out but turns out they're getting more crowded than a boris johnson quarantine party. >> we've got a grave issue on your hands. as the world's population increases and becomes increasingly urban, the cities of the world are running out of room to bury their dead. >> cemeteries in big cities are overcrowded. >> in los angeles' rapidly filling cemeteries, some family plots being listed at over a million dollars. >> new bylaws passed in vancouver will allow the city's only cemetery to bury multiple people in one grave. >> up to people who want to participate can share a grave. >> trevor: getting buried with two other people raises a few

questions of my side. what is the body arrangement? stacking them like pancakes, vertical like cry i don't understand or are we spooning? is who's going to be the big spoon. i don't mind doing it for a while but i don't want to do it for eternity. i want to be cuddled, too. plus my arm's going to be dead -- like dead dead. people are, like, you can't put dead bodies on top of each other, what about their dignity? have you been to new york in people are living on top of each other. if we have to have roommates, why not the dead? look, i get wanting to be buried in the city that you lived in, i understand that, you know, it makes it easier for your loved ones to come visit your graff, and you have a shorter commute when you go to haunt them every night. but the fact is cities are running out of space. and it's not even just a space issue because now we're learning that traditional burial methods also leave behind a toxic trail for the people who are still

living. >> right now what most americans consider a traditional burial takes a big toll on the environment. about 4.3 million gallons of embalming fluid are used in u.s. burials each year. >> a typical body requires three pound of the solution and sends 120 gallons of untreated funeral waste directly into the sewage system including blood, fecal matter, organ fluid and carcinogenic chemicals as well as unknown diseases the body contains. >> becoming more popular, cremation, but cremation is resource intensive, too. it takes around 28 gallons of fuel to turn just one person into ash. >> you're heating a body for two hours up to 1800 degrees. you are releasing pollutants into the atmosphere, most significantly mercury. >> each year cremations in the united states release the same amount of co2 as 70,000 cars.

>> trevor: turns out all the stuff we do to dead bodies is super bad for the environment. on the plus side, all the toxic shit we dump into is sewers will make cool new ninja turtle it is but it's disturbing. this really makes me look differently at the mafia. all this time i thought throwing bodies into the river was just a way to cover up their crimes but turns out they just really care about the environment. so our modern burial rituals come with a lot of baggage, the space issue, the environment and i haven't gotten to how awkward it is to tip the grave digger. thanks for burying nana. here's a -- a dollar? $300? i don't know, man. this is weird. and while traditional burials aren't going away any"time" soon there are more and more sustainable alternative for people who decide to think outside the coffin. >> around the world there's a growing movement to make fiewrl funeral practices more sustainable.

one is aqua mation, a way to dissolve a body, using a solution to dissolve the water to be disposed down the drain. >> zero or toxins. >> just signed a lou allowing turning body into soil recomposition is the green way to go using an eighth of energy as the cremation. >> and the infinity burial suit, a shroud that helps the body decompose. or the eco pod where your body becomes the root of a new tree. >> trevor: now that's how i want to go out. what eco pod, do you want to hear that? i want that. i die, they turn me into a tree. i grow. i provide for the community with my fruits. provide shade for the kids when they play. then when i get old, they chop me down and turn me into toilet paper. then i get in that ass, cindy!

you said i had zero chance but now you're wiping your ass with me. i'm in there, girl! i played the long game! seriously, i like the idea of a green burial. it will help you flex on everyone else when you get to heaven. you got buried? yeah, i thought that was bad for the environment but i was melted in acid instead. guess i'm a little better than you are as a person -- mr. rogers. on the alternatives to burials we turn to burial expert ronny chieng. happy lune gnar new year, ronny. >> thanks for making me come to work to talk about death. that's not bad luck at all. >> trevor: my bad. i guess i didn't think about that. sorry. >> what a surprise. at least i got a chance to pick outflowers for valentine's day. they're just sitting out here for free. >> trevor: i think someone left them there for the dead.

>> yeah, exactly. what a waste. just like this entire cemetery, wasted on the dead. i mean, this is prime real estate. look right here, this could be a cheesecake factory and over this this could be another cheesecake factory. >> trevor: you do have a point. there's all sorts of alternatives to cemeteries, for instance human come toasting or aquamation. >> i don't know what those words mean. we need to stop throwing away perfectly good bodies and we need to start using them! >> trevor: i don't like where this is going. >> yeah, i don't just mean sex stuff. there's all sorts of things a dead body can be used for. think about it, how many times have you watched "law and order" and thought, that's not even a real dead body? >> trevor: i've never thought that once. >> trust me, when you see as many dead bodies as i have you become a real stickler for details. fine, forget "law and order." how many times have you been stuck in traffic? huh? you gelt a dead body, you're cruising to work in the car pool

lane. >> trevor: wouldn't we be worried about the police seeing you with a dead body in your car? >> that's why you only use dead white bodies so you don't get pulled over. >> trevor: right, and that makes sense. >> the point is i've got a ton of ideas for dead bodies. okay, look. scarecrows, all natural mannequins at a gap, sex stop, that was your idea, put one in the foyer so if a murderer comes to your house he'll think somebody already beat him to it. an n.f.t. >> trevor: an n.f.t.? >> people keep yelling about n.f.t.s. can't be any dumber than an april that looks like gwinnett paltrow. >> trevor: i don't get the apes. which one of these new techniques do you want us to do with your body? >> my body? oh, no, none of them. i'm going full covered in gold. ten bedroom, ten bath and a

cheesecake factory in it. >> trevor: that actually sounds great, ronny. i bet you can't wait to be dead. >> whoa, that's like the worst thing you could say on lunar new year to someone. that's disgusting. >> trevor: i'm sorry. i'll say something else. gong hay fachoy. >> your pronunciation sp terrible. >> trevor: when we come bark, talking to bakari sellers about his new book. is it that bad? ( pronouncing chinese word ) [ snoring ] honey, geo's pizza palace just launched cha cha cheesy bread. i'll go wake up the kids. excuse me. a random sales rep just emailed for the 14th time about an important new offer that has nothing to do with our business. well forget the merger, this is far more important.

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♪ [doorbell] ♪ ♪ there's my boy! all the delivery. no delivery fees. dashpass. ♪ ♪making your way in the world today♪ ♪takes everything you've got♪ ♪ ♪taking a break from all your worries ♪ ♪sure would help a lot ♪ ♪wouldn't you like to get away? ♪ ♪ ♪ sometimes you want to go ♪ ♪where everybody knows your name ♪ ♪ ♪and they're always glad you came ♪ my guest tonight is civil rights attorney and cnn political commentator bakari sellers here to talk about his new children's book "who are your people?." bakari sellers, welcome to the show. >> thank you for having me. glad to be here in person. >> trevor: in person, right. >> yes. >> trevor: a lot of people i'm meeting for the first time. i met you. >> you look much more handsome

in person than virtually. >> trevor: you much more taller than i thought you were. >> you could have said handsome. >> trevor: i don't want to give the compliment back to you, feels like i'm recycling. another thing i noticed ability you that wasn't looks related. welcome to the show. >> glad to be here. >> trevor: you've lived a really interesting life because there was a moment in your career where people genuinely thought you were going to be one of the next new faces to have the democratic party in this country. you served for eight years in the state legislature, and people were just, like, oh, this guy is going all the way. we see what he's doing, from a civil rights family, in tune with what's happening and you're, like, nope, en done with this. what happened? >> i don't know if it's i'm done with it but i think having the opportunity to be a father and a husband, i realized are my two most important jobs, and then being able to utilize my platform to lift people up and write books now, it's my second book, it's my second opportunity to be on a "new york times" best

seller list. stop to do. when jim clyburn retires, will i get back in the political scrum? maybe but would you want to go to congress and serve and have less seniority than marjorie taylor green or matt gaetz or --, like, this is not an appetizing thing when you think about the american political system we have today. i think i may get back out there but right now i just want to take care of my kids and my wife. >> trevor: let's talk about the book, "who are your people?." a lot of people that could be interpreted the wrong way. in america, it's uncomfortable when you say, where are you from? >> down south it's a colloquialism when you meet people the first time, like when i met my daughter's boyfriend for the first time, she's 16, you want to know where their family comes from and what kind of stock they come from. "who are your people?" is trying

to understand where you come from. i wrote it because i was tired of my friends having to see purple or blue people on tv. i wanted them to see people who look like them. in this book they're able to see them and their people and have a sense of pride. i think when young black and brown kids read it they'll get a sense of pride and when white kids read it they'll get a sense of empathy. we live in a country with an empathy deficit, where people no longer care about the struggles and plight of others. maybe this is a utopia i live in or youth naivety, but i think there's more that brings us together than divides us but we have to embrace the differences. >> when they said, bakari is coming, with a book, i read through it and it's a kid book but there are parts where black people are sitting at a lunch counter getting shouted at with

people with signs that say no negroes. i said, oh, man, this is a children's book -- and i thought, is this what you want to teach kids? and other people go this book will get banned. >> that image is one of my favorites. it's february 1 of 1960 where kids at woolworths kicked off the sit-in. maybe if you're an asummit, it refreshes your memory and you can teach more about it. but they're banning michelle obama's books in texas now. people are talking about this, a picture book being critical race theory. it's absolutely not critical race theory, but it's getting caught up in all this utter antiintellectual b.s. is the best way i can phrase it, which is what is wrong with kids learning about who they are and

where other kids are from and learning about that and hopefully it teaches a generational dream. >> trevor: seems like it comes around at a perfect time because of black history month, you know. >> yeah. >> trevor: black history month is one of the most interesting times to observe especially when you come from outside of america. because where i'm from, it's always black history month. >> i want to come there. >> trevor: you're welcome. >> every day is black history month. needs to be your slogan. >> trevor: it really is an interesting thing to understand as somebody who has worked with some of the most devastated families in this country as they've dealt with civil rights abuses, hate crimes, you know. >> yeah. >> trevor: what do you think black history should be about? >> i think we need to understand when woodson founded negro history week and chose february, he did it because to have the birthdays of abraham lincoln and frederick douglas two of his

heroes at the time that's why we ended up in february for negro history week and black history month. to me it's about overcoming. if you're talking about slavery and oppression, 400 years, jim crow. my father went to segregated schools. my mother was part of her desegregating class in high school. this wasn't generations ago. we're talking about pain and overcoming. there's a lot to be proud of but if people don't understand the pain they can never understand what the struggle is to be black in america. >> trevor: there seems to be a paradox for some people understanding the duality of being black. some people think black people can only exist in a state of pain and suffering and some people say, i'm so sorry you're black, it must be so hard all the time. and some people exist in a state of, oh, get over it, nothing happened.

and for some people it's like understanding all of it. >> the whole person. the most perverse thing in politics, i hate when people teach young people to be color blind. i don't want that. i want you to see the richness of my culture, everything i bring. i want you to see yes i cried tears when treyvon martin was killed or george floyd was murdered, but i also recognize that we have a great history of overcoming in this country. a lot of people disagree with me on this premise, but i fundamentally don't think there is anything irredeemable about this country. i fundamentally believe we have to reimagine what she looks like to be a more inclusive america that includes all of us. >> trevor: what's interesting is how many times black people fought for their progress in the countries because of the rules it had written for -- it's a paradox. >> it's a bounced check. i think king said it best. someone wrote down a promise to give the people this. >> trevor: right. >> and it bounced. it was insufficient funds.

and, so, here we are. we're trying to reclaim what you promised us in that check. >> trevor: what you're saying is you're hopeful, you believe there's a chance america could be able to to pay the amount on that check. >> i believe so. i believe america is an unfulfilled broken promise to so many people, whether or not muslim, immigrants, gay, black, a woman in this country, it is a bounced check and an unfulfilled promise. however, i still have faith in tomorrow. >> trevor: wow, look at that. >> i can run for office with that. >> trevor: you should, man. i still have faith in tomorrow, bakari sellers. >> south africa, everyday is black history. >> trevor: i love it. we're running campaigns. >> marketing. >> trevor: you let me know when you're going back into politics. i will be behind you cheering you on. >> thank you. >> trevor: appreciate you. "who are your people?" is available wherever books are sold. we'll take a quick break and be after right after this.

>> trevor: that's our show for tonight, but before we go: please consider supporting the loveland foundation. they're an organization dedicated to providing therapy services to underserved communities especially black women and girls. if you want to support them in their work, please donate at the link below. until tomorrow -- stay safe out

there, get your vaccine, and remember: if someone cuts in front of you at golden corral don't fist-fight them. wait until they're a tree, then pee on them. play the long game. now, here it is -- your moment of zen. >> happy lunar new year. it's now the year of the tiger. >> so it's the year of the tiger is what i'm learning ( rrrrr! >> rarrrr! >> is that ow cue to roar? roarrrrrr! >> which year are you >> a rat or a pig or something. ( laughter ) >> i was the year of the rat? >> i don't know this. >> i'm a snake. i don't think snakes and tigers get along. if. >> no one gets along with a snake! >> what is a boar? >> is your year the elephant? >> no. >> because i can make that sound

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[bell ringing] - m'kay, so now the computer will show a command bar.

m'kay, and we type in "x" equals "y" plus 1. m'kay, and then it says we hit command "y"y, and to bring up the menu screen.ring up - oh, man, you've got to be kidding me.oh, man goddamn japs are everywhere. - m'kay, now, right-click on menu item "equate all"l" and type in "input 'y.'"d t oh, dude, are you on america's side, stan? youn - no, i'm on the japanese side.e oh, who just shot me? - m'kay, let's see, uh... the right click is the upper right... - m'kay, let's see, uh... uh... but then what the hell is... m'kay, kids, i'm gonna need to get some clarification on thist just keep entering the calculations.ons. i'll be right back, m'kay. r - oh, dude, i wish i had a real flamethrower!oh, d it works awesome on japs! a - oh, my god. oh, my god. stan... stan, we have a big problem! - dude, what? d - there's vampires in the school!

- what? - vampires-- i've seen 'em! - dude, aw, who's using the flack-jacket cheat? - not a cheat if you rank up! a cheat - uh! - kenny, there's a vampire on the loose! then katie gelson was h hanging out with hims and now she's a vampire too! vampire - butters, there's no such thing as vampires.s you guys gotta believe me! the first, there was just a couple t a coup coup they have fangs and drink blood and everything! - all right, butters, well,tp you go document the vampires' movements so we know what their intentions are.so - really, you think that's best? - yeah, now get outta here.et outta if i don't make it back, tell my mom what happened to me.y mom - oh, ho, you got powned, bebe, you jap bitch! - isn't this cool?'t thi this time of day nobody's in the gym. we should make this one of our officialone o south park vampire's club hangouts.s. - that's an awesome new coat, mike.awesome looks totally badass. toty - don't call me mike. me k my name is vampir now. - oh, that's cool. that' i'm gonna change my name to vladimir! - you can't, it's too close to vampir.my!