♪ call it heavy metal ♪ - whoo-hoo-hoo! - ♪ call it heavy metal ♪ ♪ noise ♪ ♪ call it heavy metal ♪ captioning sponsored by comedy central t good news, everybody, i know a lot of you have been stressed by this and waiting. the washington football team officially chose a name. yes, i know, a lot of people were stressed about this, people couldn't sleep. i know some of you in the crew were just like at night, your wife was like what is wrong, honey, you were like they haven't got a name. so yeah, they have gone, they have changed their name. they are now called the washington commanders. which i misheard the first time i heard, i thought they said the washington do mannedos and i thought it was a team that wasn't going to wear underwear. i was like that is a dope intimidation tactic. yeah, tackle me, see what's up. but the commanders is the new name which is like a powerful name, isn't it. that is respect.

washington commanders! whooo! put some respect on that name. the commanders got blown out 47-3. that is powerful. i love that. also funny how like the nfl, this whole thing was like a scandal of like racism for the nfl and then this is the end of this scandal and i'm sure the guys in the nfl were like well, we did it, boyses, no more racism scandals for us at the nfl, we got it t no more racism, what, a lawsuit about what? goddam damn it? coming to you from the heart of time square in new york city, the only city in america, it's "the daily show." tonight off with cnn's head. whoopi makes a whoop see and gugu mbatha-raw. this is "the daily show" with trevor noah. >> trevor: hey, what's going on. well could-- welcome to the daily show, let's jump straight

into today's headlines. all right we kick things off with some news coming out of cnn. yes, the channel you watch at the gym while you listen to your podcast. the network has always been famous worldwide for its 24 hour news and people shouting at each other coverage. but over the past few months the spotlight has been turned on them. especially nt wake of andrew cuomo's harassment scandal and then chris cuomo's secret defense of his brother's scandal. well today that scandal took yet another twist. >> we have news now to report involving our network. cnn president jeff zucker has just resigned after disclosing a consensual relationship with a colleague. >> he wrote to staffers a few minutes ago quote as part of the investigation into chris cuomo tenure at cnn, cuomo fired last month, zucker said he i was asked about a consensual relationship with my closee colleague, someone i worked with for more than 20 years. i acknowledged the relationship evolved in recent years. i was required to disclose it when it began but i didn't.

i was wrong. as a result, i am resigning today. >> trevor: man, must have been a really weird day for cnn. on the one hand it is bad that your boss is resigning under a cloud of scandal. on the other hand, you have got the scoop. we begin with breaking news. did you know that jeff and allison were banging? i saw them coming the office together one morning and i totally called tment i mean i didn't say anything but i totally called it, what is this? just in, i'm also involved? but that's right, jeff zucker long time head of cnn is stepping down because according to his statement he didn't disclose that he was having a relationship with a colleague. and i don't know if this is the full story but what i do know is that at cnn it seems like there is no middle ground. when there is a scand staal either someone who isn't disclosing enough or someone disclosing way too much. and look, i know the story is going to come as a surprise to a lot of people. people are going to be like wow,

someone has been in charge of cnn this whole time? i thought it was just a bunch of roommates who found camera equipment behind a dumpster. but yes, jeff zucker was running cnn and you may motd know this but he is the one without made cnn what it is today. he is the one who pushed it it toward entertainment more and less news. and he is the one without said enough of those international correspondents. let's just get people fighting on camera. like you remember when cnn would just make us watch trump's empty podium for an hour? that was his choice, yeah. and the reason he liked putting trump on so much is because he liked trump, because he knew that trump was good for ratings because jeff zucker is the one who gave trump the job for the apprentice, and the apprentice is the only reason trump went on to become the president. ahhhh. that's not even the craziest part of the story, the craziest thing is that jeff zucker's down fall all started with andrew cuomo, remember him? yeah, andrew cuomo groped women, chris cuomo his brother tried to help him, so then cnn looked

into chris cuomo, investigated him and then found some s hit on jeff glirk, what? so andrew cuomo was such a creep that he took down thim self, his brother chris and the president of cnn. is he like ronan farrow but by accident. at this point who knows how long cuomo's fallout is going to last, he groped a bunch of people, now everyone is feeling it. he is like a human chern able. -- dhern oibl, 80 years from now brazilians are going to be at war with australian,-- it is all the causea andrew cuomo. let's move on to someone who is losing his job to someone else who is in hot water at work. whoopi goldberg, cohost of the view and the only coach for the knicks winning season. in case you pissed it the five women on the view were having a discussion about mauss you remember the graphic novel about the holocaust? and by the time the discussion was all over, the panel was down to four. >> this morning more fallout for

whoopi goldberg. >> abc news suspending goldberg from the view for two weeks after she made controversial comments about jewish people and the holocaust on monday's episode. >> the holocaust isn't about race. it's not about race. >> what is it about. >> because you-- it's about man's inhumanity to man. >> but it's about white supremacy. >> but these are both white groupses of people. >> goldberg apologizing live on the program tuesday. >> yesterday on hour show i misspoke. i regret my comments, as i said. and i stand corrected. >> the segment also included an interview with anti-defamation league c.e.o. jonathan greenblatt who later commented on goldberg's suspension. >> we shouldn't cancel whoopi because she made a mystic it am i heard whoopi say that she is committed to doing better. i accept that apology. >> abc releasing a statement acknowledging that whoopi has apologized but asking her to take time to tre flect and learn about the impacts of her comments. >> trevor: yep, whoopi

goldberg is in a whole lot of trouble. and i understand why. i understand why people were upset with what she said because the way she said it, it made it sound like the holocaust was just some white people who were fighting some other white people, you know, sort of like game of thrones. but as the spokesman for the anti-defamation league explained to her, hitler did see jews as a separate race. and even worse as a separate species. you snow, like when you think about it properly, protecting the master race, that was the nazi's whole thing. no race-- shall race purity, these tiki torch bitches, hitler was the og of that, in his mind everyone was supposed have blond hair and blue eyes, except for him, he got to look like an angry-- for some wherein, what that is not the point, i understand why people were upset because the holocaust had everything to do with race. and i'm glad that whoopi

apologized because like i don't think that she was trying to hurt anybody here, you know. i think she made a mistake. and i will say, i think it's a little weird that her network's suspended her for sharing her view on the view. i mean if she is remorseful, why send her away. isn't it better to keep her and then use this as a teaching moment? and then could you have everyone watching also learning, oh, i didn't know that about the holocaust. maybe they didn't. rather than sending her away for two weeks, to do what, reflect and do what, her own research. i mean that's never a good idea. these days you tell someone to go research the holocaust on their own, they will come back in two weeks like did you all know that the jews have space lasers? be like oh, dammit, you were on youtube, oh, man. anyway, let's move on to tour next story. today is groundhog day. which leads me to ask, what the

hell is groundhog day. people pull a rodent out of the ground and ask the animal to predict the weather. there is so unfair. because if africans were doing shit like this and you heard that we pulled animals out of the ground, like there are villageses in africa where people wear animal skins and if i tried to explain that americans use groundhogs to predict the weather they would be like but why not just use the satellite data. all right, that is it for the headlines, let's move to our top story which is about russia. the former and maybe future sov yent-- soviet union. over the past few months russia has sent over 100,000 troops to its border with ukraine, which understandably has a lot of people freaked out. ukraine has been preparing for war. american and the-- america and the united nations have been threatening devastating sanctions on russia and today president biden sent thousands of troops to polander and romania, just in case russia decides to add some more countries to its shopping list. you but the big scwe why?

why is russia bringing europe to the brink of war? yesterday we finally heard from russian president and leader who ends every sentence with, or else, a put in. and he says that none of this is his fault. >> russian president vladimir putin first comment on ukraine since december after the meeting in moscow with the leader of hungary. putin claimed the west has ignored russia top demands including blocking ukraine from joining nato. >> in his first public comments on this crisis in weeks president putin accused the u.s. of trying to contain russia. >> ukraine is just a tool, he said. despite more than 100,000 russian troops now massed on ukraine's border, russia still claimed it's a real victim threatened by the u.s. and its nato allies and moscow insists it it has no plans to innovate ukraine.

>> yeah, putin says that russia has no plans to invade ukraine. >> soo i guess those 100,000 troops on the border are just doing that thing where you stand outside a restaurant and read the menu. >> no, no, we're not going in now, maybe we come back for special occasion. >> look, i know it's hard to feel sorry for anybody with a russian accent but i do actually understand why russia is so freaked out by nato. because here is the thing. don't forget that nato was formed to oppose the sov yent-- soviet union, that is why it it was formed. then the sov yent-- sof yet union broke up, but instead of disbanged nato has been expanding closer and closer to russia's border. so from a russian point of view, just a russian point of view, it is almost like they lost the boxing match but the guy who beat them moved in next door. the fight is over, what are you doing here? i don't know, man. you tell me. so there are a lot of complex issues at play right here which which is why the un held an

emergency session this week to try and find a peaceful solution to avert war. and i don't know if you know this but we at the daily show have an exclusive look at what went down in the u.n. which means it is time for another installment of inside the u.n. >> all right, all right, all right, everybody. i hearby call this session of the u.n. in to session. >> one second guys, please, one second. hello, yes. comcast, yes, i would like to stet up new service, please, in ukraine. in one week, we can say, no, no, i don't need sports package. >> you think this is funny. there is nothing funny about invading other countries, okay. you can't do that, it's called consent harvey weinstein. >> hey, come on. isn't this annoying to remember the names of nothing countries,

ukraine, latvia, poland, yada yada who can keep track. if they were all russia, it would be so much simpler for everybody. >> i mean yes, it would. but let's be clear, if you invited ukraine-- invade ukraine there will be scwens consequences, isn't that right, guys. >> yes. >> yeah. >> ya? >> see, a united front. >> well, let us be clear, if you retaliate against russia, we will have no choice but to release this devastating meme. one click and it goes out on facebook. >> don't you dare, russia. >> excuse me, excuse me, everybody. can i just say something. >> you go ahead, south africa. >> are you really going to keep me wearing this, think about t you guys have more omicron than we do now. >> yep. >> yeah.

>> sorry, just a few more weeks. we don't trust that african covid. >> gentlemen, please, we need to focus. the future of ukraine is at stake. >> no, excuse me, the future of russia is at stake. >> what trait do we have, russia is 5,000 mile country. we need room to stretch legs. >> i'm sorry. but you don't get to tell nato who we can and cannot have as a member. if we want to let ukraine in, that's up to us. >> yes, that's right. but we, america, are you go to let-- in who has been asking for awhile. >> look, i don't know, maybe. see the thing is, once we let you in, well, you won't have to beg us any more. we kind of like that. >> so it is like sexual. >> i guess, kind of. >> hey, this is all nonsense.

ukraine is russia's neighbor. how would you like it, america, if we made military alliance with canada? >> hey, canada is our bitch, okay. you stay the hell away. >> actually, eh, canada is its own sovereign independent. >> shut shut up, canada. >> shut up, condition da. >> so sorry. >> we'll talk about this yut burst later. >> as for you russia think real carefully with this next move. >> we would still prefer to solve ukraine issue peacefully, and talking of good will, we have the-- for you, american specialty, apple pie. eat up, so delicious, please, try piece. >> let's see. i never seen an apple pie like this, with all the-- sir rings sticking out of it, mi hungry. >> no, no, america, wait. >> huh? >> it is nothing, enjoy your

pie. >> nothing like a bit of apple pie. >> trevor: hmmmm, now i want some russian pie. all right, when we come back roy wood, jr. is going to put his life savings into breakfast serial-- certificate yell, you don't want to miss it. you can ord (vo) for me, one of the best things about life is that we keep moving forward. we discover exciting new technologies. redefine who we are and how we want to lead our lives. basically, choose what we want our future to look like. so what's yours going to be?

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and every week i shine a light on black entrepreneurs changing the game. from app developers to the dvd man who show already has his hands on-- if you are black, we are in business. >> right on, people, and welcome to black in business. this week i'm betting it all on a secretarier experiencing incredible growth in my house this year, breakfast cereal. we all know the big players. tony the tiger. the leb recon that steals from white kids and the rabbit that also steals from white kids, but ain't none of them cereals black. unless you count the raisin bran box, it dined of feels blackment but now, there is a new face in the cereal bowl. i sat down with a man who introducing a cereal in the shape of a black power fist, is he truly putting black in business. >> nick king, much respect to you, brother, you are basically

the jackie robinson of breakfast cereal, should have called them 42. >> the biggest thing to me is how important it is for black kids to see themselves in a positive light, breakfast cereal, a face that has never been-- space has never been infiltrated. >> i wanted to be that change. >> you got a good product, i can't wait to see these fists. >> hey, these are kibble, this is cat food trk is supposed possible to it be fists. >> actually it is no longer empowerment fists, we went through multiple different manufacturing companies that tried to shape it. >> hang on, they said it was too complex, they got cinnamon toast, honey smack, but you can't make this? >> we are dealing with a industry we didn't want the slow up the company any further we have transitioned to regular circular puffs. >> what about the kids, what do the kids say. >> they have 100% given their approval. >> what-- my son is my first original taste tester.

he now. >> that don't count, that is injure son, you know what i do, i will do a taste committees it test with kids you don't know. >> i accept the challenge. >> uh-huh. >> hello, panel. first off, thank you for taking the time to ta peer on black in business. i know you all have a heart out right before bed time. so any of you all have any cereal with black people on the box before. >> no. >> i only seen that raisin cereal that has that sun on it. >> see? i toll that you shit was black, that is a smart one right there. so bailey, you tried the cereal, give us your analysis. >> i i like the cereal cuz it's crunchy. >> this is a cereal for black people, i'm not saying anything offensive but just saying. >> that is a very fair question, this cereal is created by a black person. so knowing that, how would you feel if you saw one of your white friends eating a

black-owned cereal. >> the only white person i know is my girlfriend. >> okay. that was unexpected. an answer none the less. >> what would make this cereal an even better investment. >> if the cereal tastes more like fists. >> raise your spoon if are you also disappointed that the cereal is not shaped like a fist. so you all are saying the cereal itself just needs to live up the to the mad kal message on-- radical message on the box. that is a good idea, good idea. >> all right, nick, good news. i spoke with children not related to you and they all felt the cereal tasted great. >> i told you they would. >> now there was one thing that the kids were a little disappointed on and that is that the remember yal was not shaped like a fist. i know you have explained why the cereal can't be a fist but in the meantime, nick, you got to lean into the cereal being black, in fact you need to make

it bleaker. >> i'm a a little nervous about it. >> this is a black ass cereal i know will you go hard for. don't go nodding your head, what better spokesperson tor cereal than the chairman of the illinois black panther party, fred -- the dude who played fred hampton. >> what else have you got. >> okay, okay, what about this one, a cereal for black people that they can enjoy with their white girlfriend, lio's. >> that's too far, too far. ally-o i recognize privilege. >> no, you don't say it like that, you say it thriek tony the tiger. >> i recognize my privilege. you got to say it like that. >> i'm going to be honest. i didn't want to ruin this four, the create ift is good, i didn't want to kill it but at the end of the day i want kids to sit at a table and see themselves, in positive black representation on a cereal box and that's the idea. that is what i built.

>> you know what, i respect your vision and i will change your life right now by investing in your cereal. i will make your dreams come true. how much money do you need for the initial investment. >> i would say anywhere upwards to $3 4u7b k-- 300 k, around there. >> ball park. >> i do not have that kind of money. which is why i will see you next episode where i will be examining another breakfast industry, toast, that is what i can afford. you got white, multigrain,. >> trevor: thank you so much for that, when we come back you go you go mbatha-raw is going to go you go mbatha-raw is going to be joining me right here in the i've only ever bought bird seed from this website, but they're recommending cat food. i think we need a cat. they know us so well. ♪ who wants a kitty cat? who wants... ♪ you want a kitty cat. ♪ we're completely out of flour. i'm trying to order more, but this site's so bad. i usually just type in flour 100 times until it works.

what a great idea! this is great. ♪

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i think it's time to do something different. yes, i'll marry you. [ gasps ] dad, that's you! we're in this together. what do i do? -just stand and smile. where are you off to now? -london, for a meeting. i'm off to flatbush for a dog. you made me feel normal. call me if you're lonely. hello. -i'm lonely. brought you an apple. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ daily show, my guest is actor and producer gugu mbatha-raw, she is here to talk about starring in the new psychological thriller series the girl before. >> all about architectural legacy for me. >> on the phase of it, it is totally different from your

work. but then you start to sigh the similarities. the like you have let go of that, you must have moved somewhere incredible. >> i'm on the site mostly. money caravans or hotelses. it is bearable. as long as you put the cushions in the wardrobe. >> really? >> no cheesier. >> sometimes. >> that guy is creepy. i'm just going to put it out there. like that guy is creepy. >> yeah. >> trevor: definitely an energy that you get in the show when you watch it where you go i don't know this person but he really, really creeps me out. welcome to the show, gugu. >> thanks for having me. >> trevor: congratulations on yet another show that i think will get a lot of people talking, as all your shows do. i feel like you have a nak for picking really great roles in really great, either limitedded series or shows, people loved

you in black mirror, in loki you got some of the best reviews which is not usual for a superhero franchise. people are like whatever, people were like you were amazing in t now here are you, is it a mini series or limitedded series. >> it is a limited series strks four episode. >> trevor: right. are you playing what i think many new yorkers will relate to, somebody who has rented a place from a very creepy person. >> i know, i mean it is such a departure for david o yellow as well. i know you know him, everybody knows him from selma, martin luther king and all the things that he has done. and this character of edward really keeps you guessing. because he is a minimalist architect. he is a perfectionist and you can't quite figure out if he is a good guy, if he is a bad guy and every episode there are so many twists it and turns in the story. but yeah, it's been a wonderful

experience. >> trevor: you know what will really shock some people. i was watching the clip with one of my colleagues and she was like oh wow, she does a really great english accent. and then i was thinking i wonder how many people would think that about you and david, where they go wow, they are doing really fantastic english accents. are there feel who know where you are from at all. >> i know t is so funny, when i first read the script for the girl before i was in the middle of filming loki and i had been doing an american accent for so long. and it is a weird one. i sort of, i take that as a complement, i think, that people see you as an american and believe you so fully that even your own accent feels alien, i mean when i did belle several years ago hi been doing an american accent for about three years, in projects. and i genuinely myself thought do i know how to act in my other than accent any more. it's been so long that i had been doing the american thing. but yeah, it's nice to be able to switch back and forth and as

i say, that people believe knee as man american. >> i think believe new any role you play, you received the essence award, the break thru award, that is where you met david, not officially but you asked him to present the award. >> it is funny because me and david were both born in the same hospital. is he a bit older than me. >> trevor: are you serious. >> he was, shall-- we were both born in oxford at the john ratcliff hospital a few years apart. and so there is that connection. which is sort of surreal and he was one of the first british actors that i met when i went to l.a. and i didn't know anybody. i was doing a tv series there. and i met him and his family and i just was so impressed because i was like here is this man who is an incredibly talented theater actor and film actor but is he also just got such a imrownded real life. >> trevor: definitely. >> as well and i was so impressed with that. when i was nom nailted for-- nominated or won the esence award i asked him to

present it to me. and yeah, he took me by surprise because he brought his daughter zoe on to the stage to present it to knee which kind of took my brelt away because she reminded me of this mini version of me. and it was you know it made me cry trk was so moving but it was also, i mean is he very smart like thark david. because i sort of saw myself in her. and i also, it gave me a moment to really ground my work in a way because i felt like now have i to choose projects that are good enough for zoe, that is the sort of, that idea of legacy and the idea of what she is looking up to trk somebody that looks as much as i see a younger verg of myself, she might see an older version of herself in me. so. >> trevor: i feel like that is alot of pressure. >> right, but not always. but things like loki, for example, you go wow, what was my seven year old self be doing now, or would i be pinching myself. so rather than seeing it task a pressure, i sort of see it as

also to give myself permission to be joyful and playful as well. >> trevor: i love thasm you have one of the most interesting connections with loki, because tom hiddleson plays loki and you went to the same drama school as him. >> yep, he was a year below me at drama school, even though i'm a bit yowd younger. >> trevor: tu realize you have a horror movie story, no one is getting killed in your story but are you following all the people, we were born at the same lopt. we went to the school school. >> i know, the degreeses of separation. >> trevor: no one died but you know. >> yeah, i mean it was really comfort-- comforting especially filming loki in 2020 to be surrounded by so many brits and-- so it felt like you know, a bit of a brit reunion and i think when the world is so unstable it it was really comforting for all of us to be around the drama school buddies tses tu are someone who has done everything. a lot of people know you from your acting. you also have been somebody who has been really closely involved

with united nations and working around the world. i didn't know this about you until i read a little deep near your world. have i always known youred dad is south african, your mom is english. i knew your name gugu is from tout safer ca but what i didn't know is your dad this to tess cape south africa because he was fighting the apartheid government and it was actually the u.n. partly that helped him, i mean. >> circle of life, it's really truly incredible. and it is a strange thing because you know obviously it is an incredible honor to have become a good william bas dor, but my dad under the apartheid era was an activist and had to flee and it was the very difficult time for him. and he was studying doing his medical training. and he actually-- they helped him finish his medical training

and come to the u.k so when i got the call it to be able to go on my first mission with unhvr you know, my kowsin was like aha!, that is an ancestral call, you know, like that truly is an ancestral call that sort of brings it become. nd-- back and makes it sto much more meaningful to me to know that that part of my cultural legacy series. >> trevor: gugu thank you so much for joining mees on the show. >> thank you. >> trevor: congratulations on everything that you have done. >> thank you so much. >> trevor: all four episodes of the girl before will be available on hbo max february 109. we will take a quick break but be right back after thiw for tot

before we go please consider supporting the love land foundation, they are an organization dedicated to providing therapy services to underserved communities especially black women and girls. so if you want to support them in this work please donate at the link below. until tomorrow, stay safe out there, get your vaccine, and remember, if you have ever even heard of jeff zucker, you might be next. now here it is, your moment of zen. >> on saturday the rally he talked about the potential f it is appropriate of pardoning some of the january 6th.

>> yeah. >> lindsey graham said a couple of days later he thinks that is inappropriate, what do you think. >> well lindsey graham is wrong. >> you said that, not me. i hope the american people can see through this sham. >> lindsey say fies guy but is he a. >> this is hell, this-- this is going to destroy the ability of good people to come forward because of this cra ♪ i'm goin' down to south park, gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ goin' down to south park, gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ people spouting, "howdy, neighbor!" ♪ ♪ heading on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ mrph rmhmhm rm! mrph rmhmhm rm! ♪ ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪

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[ hyperventilating ] so, these guys made fun of your weight and made you feel ashamed? [ haltingly ] yes, i was just trying to do my job as a food critic, and they all ganged up on me and said i was fat. all right, why don't you take me back to what happened. i was in the locker room... and i was in my underwear, and these kids walked by. then i looked in the mirror, and i thought i looked kind of ripped, and so i asked one of the kids if he would take a picture of m-me, and he did. and i looked at the picture, and i looked pretty ripped, so later at home, i put the picture up on my yelp account, and i typed in, "don't i look ripped?" and i thought people would be stoked on me. then this morning, i saw the comments on twitter, and some people c-called me names and said i wasn't ripped, and they said i was fat, and i didn't have muscles. internet m-m-made fu-fun of me and [hyperventilating] [ sniffs, clears throat ]

well, eric, maybe you shouldn't have put a picture of you in your underwear up on social media -- hey! you got a [bleep] problem, mackey?! n-no, p.c. principal! because body shaming is [bleep] serious, and i'm not gonna allow that shit in my school! nobody should have to feel that kind of shame. [ register beeping ] okay, sir, looks like your total is $37.83. all right. okay, and would you like to add a dollar donation to help hungry kids around the world? [ quietly ] oh, uh, no, th-that's okay. sorry? i'm -- i'm good. i'm sorry, you don't want to give the dollar to hungry kids? not today, thank you. okay, no problem. oh, come on. [ beep ] try hitting it again. it's the box below the one that says, "sure, i'd love to help however i can." [ beeping ] ah, darn thing. sorry. most people give the dollar. i can do this manually. [ register beeping ] look, i give money to charity a lot, okay?

oh, sure you do. i do! i just don't want to every time i shop for food. that's completely understandable. "have customer speak on the" -- oh, okay. if you can just speak into the voice decoder and say, "i'm not giving anything to the hungry kids." [ microphone crackles ] [ echoing ] i'm not giving anything to the hungry kids. [ feedback ] okay, that's got it. so, with the ice cream, the vodka, pizza pockets, and nothing for hungry kids, that's $37.83. [ cash register beeps, change clinks ] [ snarkily ] oh, don't forget your change. look, if i gave money every time i went grocery shopping, i would be -- thanks for shopping, sir. next, please. dick. come on in, kyle. have a seat right there. [ sniffling ] you probably heard that eric here has been dealing with some body shaming. uh-huh. well, eric and i have been talking, and we've decided it's probably best for him to get off of social media. yeah, probably. so, what we're looking for is a student volunteer. somebody who can put the things eric wants up on the internet for him, and also filter through all the comments and make it more of a safe space for him. wait, what? i said you were perfect because you're really good