what's he saying? that he doesn't want to go to summer camp this year, but i'll be damned if he's gonna ruin our italy trip. right? nathan: oh! aah! mimsy! >> trevor: big day today. the oscar nominations came out. yes. powerful, powerful moment. many, many movies were nominated. many were snubbed. you know, i don't know about you but i always feel like the oscars, whenever they have the announcement, i feel like it's movie homework time for me because it's never the movies i've watched. do you know what i mean? the nominations are always like, and the nominations are man in an old place, woman doing a thing along time ago, black person suffering. and then, do you know what i mean? i haven't watched any, i should, i should. we all walk around, have you seen it? i'm going to. i'm going to. of course i'm going to.

the oscars is never shit i've seen. they're like and the nominees transformers. seen it! matrix, unfortunately seen it. do you know what i mean? it's never -- like the oscars feel like they do it on purpose. it's almost like they go to the box office, what are they watching? all right, not watching? and it's a disconnect. i'm not saying the movies are not good. i'm just saying there's a disconnect between what we want to watch and what we should watch. these movies are the vegetables of movies. very good for you, powerful for the soul. powerful. but when you're when you're higt craving these movies. ( laughter ) >> coming to you from the heart of times square in new york city, the only city in america, "the daily show" tonight, president putin's big table.

dems take their masks off and robert glasper! this is "the daily show" with trevor noah! >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. joining me for the headlines is desi lydic. how you doing? >> good. i'm excited. a big game this weekend. bengals versus rams. >> trevor: super bowl. i'm feeling you. >> no, i'm having an animal fighting ring in my backyard. going head to head, chili, placing bests, got permits, the whole nine yards. >> trevor: i'd love to be there. i promiseds michael. >> see you after michael. >> trevor: all right, sounds good. let's jump into today's headlines. we kick things off with the big international news that could possibly lead us to world war iii, i'm not talking about whether northwest should be on tiktok. i'm talking about russia and ukraine.

because every day putin moves his tanks closer and closer to the ukraine border, creating the world's most high stakes game of i'm not touching you, you can't tell me. i don't touch your face! because it's bad for business and human life, every country is trying to talk russia down from invasion plans. yesterday the president of france took his shot. people had high hopes for this meeting because the french and the russians have a lot in common -- for example, both have disgusting salad dressings named after them. but despite this commonality, the meeting did not go well. >> french president emmanuel macron is in russia. he met with russian president vladimir putin in moscow at a 20-foot long table, thanks to covid restrictions. macron believes russia has a right to ask questions about its security and seek guarantees. president putin did not offer to deescalate in the meeting with

macron, but russia continues to deny any plans of an invasion. >> trevor: okay, people, what the hell is this? why are they sitting so far apart? i have been in zoom meetings where i'm sitting closer to the other person. why do you even have a table so big? like, did you see that thing? maybe putin isn't trying to take over ukraine because he's level. maybe he just needs more space for his giant (~bleep~) furniture. apparently the reason for the distance is they want to make sure everyone is safe. i'm not talking about covid, i'm talking about putin. if he wants to kill you, at least with this table he has to catch an oob tore get to the end (russian accent) in four minutes you're dead. five minutes now. why would you take the -- cancel? do i pay? how does this work? >> putin is playing crazy psychological games with macron. >> trevor: you think so?

>> yeah, french don't sit at big tables. they sit at tiny bistro tables, room for wine and cheese. i can't stop thinking about the poor delivery guy who had to lug the table up the stair case just for that meeting, then wait five hours and take the table back down. crazy. >> trevor: i don't think that's how delivery works. >> think about it, if he's playing mind games like that, he brought that table in specifically for that meeting, and that delivery guy better not get nix or dings in it because he's getting poison in the neck if he does. >> trevor: i think you have a very different idea of what they do, but yeah. >> that's exactly what happened. >> trevor: we agree to disagree. >> we totally agree. >> trevor: all i'm saying is the table might be better than catching covid but there could be the reason there's a giant war because these two couldn't possibly have understood each other at all.

just listen to the conversation. >> mr. putin, we cannot risk another war. >> what? we cannot skin another boar? >> no, i'm talking about foreign affairs. >> you are having an affair? of course, you're french. >> maybe i could sit closer to you. >> no, i'm saving the seat for a friend. his coat is on it. >> but you can't hear anything i'm saying. >> that is interesting, yeah. >> are you doing that thing where you agree because you're not sure what i said? moscow smells like urine, your head looks like a beach buttock. >> and it's only monday. >> trevor: last month new york inaugurated a new mayor eric adams. even though he's new, it hasn't stopped him from making his presence felt. for instance, he said that he's going to take his mayor's salary in crypto. yeah, which means he's the richest mayor, poorest mayor,

richest mayor, poorest mayor, richest mayor, poorest mayor -- i wish i had taken cash mayor in the world right now. also mayor adams is a vegan. i thought he was black! i know. he announced, going forward, all new york city schools would have to have mandatory vegan fridays, which i actually think is a great idea because friday needs to be taken down a peg. you're excited for the weekend? how about a to few sandwich -- how about a tofu sandwich, bitch? a lot of people are mad -- you have to eat meat or it's not a meal! if you ask me, there's nothing wrong with kids being exposed to different kinds of foods and die diets. yeah, you with peanut allergies. stop being so closed minded.

yu, new york is going to serve vegan foods fridays, partly because the mayor himself is vegan. or is he? >> mayor eric adams is making waves saying he easts fish. a self-proclaimed vegan. >> a restaurant employee says ambassador often dines on fish. he released a statement saying i want to be a role modeled for those who aspire to follow a plant-based diet but as i said i am perfectly imperfect and have occasionally eaten fish. >> trevor: everybody calm down! everybody calm down! i can feel the stress in the room right now! everybody calm down! i know you're angry right now and you want him to step down but give the man a chance. yes, he's a vegan who sometimes eats fish. don't get it twisted. being vegan isn't about eating

vegan. it's about telling everybody you're a vegan. so technically this man is legit. that's what's great about new york. we're perfectly imperfect. you can label yourself whatever you want in new york. whether true or not, doesn't matter. that's why the vegan mayor isn't vegan and the new york jets can tall themselves a football team. if you ask me, the weird thing is not that he cheats occasionally on his veganism, it's the fact his cheat meal is fish. if you're going to cheat, cheat, my man. get a cheeseburger or a pepperoni pizza. eating fish as your complete meal is like getting a haas pass from your spouse and using the pass to have sex with a fish. a total waste of a hall pass and a fish. >> i've got to say i really appreciate his transparency and that he didn't make the fish sign an nda. that's progress. >> trevor: i guess. >> this is an adorable political

scandal. let the guy eat a little fish. what's next? ambassador took a penny but didn't leave a penny. he put a plastic cup in the paper recycling bin. he's keeping solitary confinement at rikers. okay, that one's bad. >> trevor: the paper cup one is also pretty bad. >> god... there ever, i apologized over and over again. i don't know what else i can do. >> trevor: the colors match, you put -- well, you know -- all right. finally, if you're still looking for a perfect valentine's day gift, there are a few last-minute options you can consider. i know it's late but you can consider these things. you can cook a nice meal. if you can't cook, you can give that special person a coupon that they can exchange for a piece of jewelry later if they promise not to dump you, huh? or, or, you can get them a gift that will take your relationship to totally new heights. >> new this morning with a week to go till valentine's day. one company in las vegas wants

to help couples safely join the mile-high club. it's from the company love cloud fittingly. well, couples can rent a private 45 minute flight that comes with a private bed blocked off from the pilot with a curtain. officials say there's a commemorative membership card signed by the pilot himself. they say the sheets are changed and everything has been cleaned in between flights for you. prices start at $995. >> trevor: wow! okay. this is not what i expected. i feel like it defeats the whole purpose to have the mile high club. you know, the mile high club isn't just about having sex on a plane, it's about having terrible sex, quietly, without getting sucked down that toilet. that's the experience. anyone can have sex on a plane. not to mention they said this flight only lasts 45 minutes? only 45 minutes? you realize that's barely enough time to apologize for the first two minutes.

don't get me started on the fact that the pilot aka mr. smiley i've just got to trust i've got privacy because he closed that little curtain? i'm not going to pay $1,000 to have sex while some random dude is sitting there pretending not to pay attention. that's not a plane, it's a flying dorm room. goodluck these guys. i don't know how many people are going to want to take these flights. there's always a chance of a crash. when you fly there's always a chance you could crash. nobody wants theiro bit saying john sanders was killed today when his sex plane crashed into a mountain. the main thing, doesn't seem like it's worth $1,000. cool experience but $1,000 is a lot of money. spirit airlines only costs $119 round trip, and always leave you feeling like you were (~bleep~) so that's a sweet deal. >> i completely agree, it takes all the fun out of it. it's like if cnn is going to hold a staff meeting where

they're like everyone come and masturbate. if someone gave me a gift of that for valentine's day, i would break up with him. i don't need to riz the jiz jet. how are you going to fit your sex toys in carry on? you have to put them in airplane mode. you have to pray for turbulence before the final descent and get your lube in the 3-ounce bottle. >> trevor: i never thought about the practicalities. >> that's what i'm here for. >> trevor: that helped me a lot. >> you're welcome. >> trevor: why does a sex toy have airplane -- let's get into our main story which is about masks. a key tool in the fight against covid and the reason we've all gotten really good at smizing. masks have been a contention issue since the beginning to

have the pandemic and doesn't seem like that will change. let's see where the mask debate stand in another installment of mask madness. let's be honest, people, there's been no point in this pandemic where everyone has been on the same page about masks. no point at all. initially the c.d.c. says maksdz don't help with covid. that's what they said. then i guess maybe they googled something and decided, no, no, no, if you don't wear a mask, you're going to kill your grandma. then because of all that, we had people arguing the whole final. mask this or that. people arguing with strangers about proper mask wearing etiquette. it's below your know! it's above your chin! yours has a dolphin, where can i get one! then red and blue states had opposite mask policies. blue states are starting to chain their tune. >> in the country's move toward

new normal, one by one five states announced dates to end mask mandates in schools, childcare centers or end mask mandates entirely. maryland, delaware, new jersey, connecticut, set time for the end. >> new jersey governor phil murphy said his decision to drop a schoolwide state mask mandate is not a direction of victory over the virus. >> we're not going to manage covid to zero. we have to learn how to live with covid. >> but many parents are concerned as 22% of children age five to eleven are fully vaccinated, significantly lower than the nearly 75% of adults. >> it seems to be a recipe for disaster sending them in without masks on. >> trevor: oh, boy! yep, this is a complicated issue. on the one hand, masks can do a lot to keep kids safe, help

prevent the spread of covid to teachers and staff and help hide all the middle school mustaches. i don't know why you need that. you're 14. why do you look like a porn star? then you have to weigh the benefits against the down sides. kids need to see others faces to advance emotional development and it makes it easier to understand what the teacher is saying. and they need after place to store their pencils when they're not using them. but more and more blue states are weighing pros against the cons and changing their tune and deciding it's time to get rid of mask mandates. not just schools, by the way, mask mandates are being repealed for adults, too, mostly because the omicron wave is subsiding but also because democratic politicians just can't seem to stop doing stuff like this. >> well, stacey abrams, a democratic candidate for georgia governor faces criticism for what she didn't put on her face. these are pictures both abrams and the principal of an atlanta

area elementary school tweeted out last week. abrams was attending a black history month reading event and you can see the children in the class are wearing masks. teachers, staff and guests in the class are wearing masks. stacey abrams was not. the event was an indicator that city and school district have mask mandates. since the backlash starred, abrams deleted the tweet and the school's principal who first tweeted the pictures deactivated her twitter account. >> the abrams campaign suggests the attacks are politically motivated. abams campaign told the atlanta journal constitution she wore a mazic to the school but removed it so she could be heard by students watching remotely and in the photos on the condition everyone around her was wearing masks. >> trevor: stacey abrams, come on! you can just say you messed up. you can just say that. your team doesn't need to be,

like, oh, no, stacey only removed the mask so the kids could hear her speech. first of all, no little kids want to hear a speech from a politician. all right? especially the kids doing remote learning at home. mask or no masks, those kids are not listening to you. they're watching pepper pig in another tab. it's not about the kids. say your dad was doing the thing. he has a reason for taking off the mask. no, everyone takes off the mask. stacey's campaign to say the criticism is politically motivated might be true but so was posting the picture in the first place. politics is only reason people hang out with second graders they don't know or at least the only reason that doesn't get you arrested. that's the real issue, going to the classroom in the first place. abrams is campaigning for the governor of georgia so why waste your time meeting kids who can't even vote when you could be out

in the streets meeting adults in georgia who also can't vote? i guess this may be part of stacey's plan. meet with the school kids and if they line up at the polls now they'll turn 18 by the time they reach the voting booth. smart, actually. i take my mask off to you, madame. look, as bad as this was, at least stacy abams didn't make the masking rules in georgia because if you break the rules you make that's much worse for you which is exactly what happened in los angeles over the weekend. >> california governor gavin newsom along with the mayors of l.a. and san francisco on the defensive over photos showing them without masks posing with imagining johnson. >> the politicians seen at the rams-49ers game not wearing masks. l.a. county rules state people at large events have to wear masks except when eating or drinking. >> los angeles mayor defending his masksless picture with magic johnson. in exchange with reporter, he

says he held his breath. >> i'm used as criticism as a public figure. i have been wearing a mask the entire game long. people want a picture, i hold my breath, zero risk. >> trevor: is this guy being serious? is he like that's the real thing? see me, that's -- he wasn't holding his breath. all right, everyone knows when you hold your breath your face does this -- aaahhh! that's holding your breath. now, look, am i saying that, oh, politicians need to always hold themselves accountable to everything isle law they impose on us? kind of, yeah, or at least have a better reason to break the laws than, oh, shit! it's magic johnson! that's whole irresponsible. you're supposed to set the example. if you ask me the biggest scandal is gar garcetti is makit sound magic asked him for a picture. he said when people ask me --

no, my man, if two people take a picture together, the person who sucks at basketball is the one who asks for the picture. why can't politicians admit they missed up? just say i messed up, i wanted to see my face in the picture and when the mask on it isn't as cool. taking a photo with the mask on sucks. it's weird. people take photos smiling unless it's like the 1850s. all those photos are more like -- this camera had better not steal my soul... but other than that people smile in photos. that's the whole point, we get it. so, i'm not an epidemiologist, but maybe it's a good thing that mask mandates are starting to go away. students in school will be able to interact normally, democrats can stop getting tripped up by their own mask mandates, and for me, well, i'll finally be able to tell when the waiter is

judging me for ordering off the kids' menu. you know what? sometimes i just want two fish sticks. okay? i'm a vegan. all right, when we come back, a special performance from grammy award winner robert glasper. you don't want to miss it.

♪ ♪ ♪i'm so defensive,♪ ♪i got bongos thumping in my chest♪ ♪and something tells me they don't beat me♪ ♪ ♪ ♪he'd better not take the ring from me.♪

hustle sure, but for what matters. when you do, it leads to amazing. welcome to the next level. the all-new lexus nx.

♪♪ ♪ the best part about doing things yourself. ♪ it's free. like doing your own taxes with h&r block free online. where more people can file free than with turbotax. help is here. getting the incredible iphone 13 without t-mobile, where more people can file f- three...two...one.... - makes as much sense as playing hide-in-seek... ready or not, here i come. ...in the desert. [sighs] really guys? t-mobile has more 5g bars in more places than anyone. and now, when you switch, you can get iphone 13 on us, on every plan. you're not going to fit in that hole. don't look any further. unlock the full power, iphone 13 on us at t-mobile. the network with more 5g bars in more places. >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. my guest tonight is multi-grammy and emmy award winning artist, robert glasper. he's here to talk about his new album "black radio three." robert glasper.

>> yes, indeed. >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: good to have you here. >> for sure snowfor one to have the most anticipated albums of all time. >> for sure. >> trevor: before music was even invented, people are, like, this is what we have been waiting for. >> and i'm acting like it's not a big deal, but it is. >> trevor: i feel like you're a big deal. there are a few musicians, like, you will meet or you will hear about where every musician wants to work with them. it's like a comedian's comedian. you are a musician's musician. >> mm-hmm. >> trevor: let's start with that. what do you think it is about your music that every musician gravitates toward is this. >> i think it's being honest, the honesty of it all. i'm technically trained, a little bit of classical music, but i went to school for jazz, all that stuff, so i have that but at the same time with all the genres that i play, i play with the masters of that genre. so when i cross over, it's the

real thing, you know what i mean? i play with the masters of hip-hop. i used to play in roots. i played with jay della, q tip and common. that's the hip-hop thing. r&b, playing with maxwell for years, and hathaway and all the other people. my mother was a singer, you know, a volist. so i was just in those slots with the real people for so long. >> trevor: yeah, yeah, yeah. >> so i can tap into that, you know what i mean. >> trevor: in a kung fu movie you learn with all the best masters all the styles. >> i'm bruce lee of the piano. >> trevor: bruce lee of the piano. >> that's what it is. >> trevor: come see robert glasper, they call him the brew lee of the piano! ( laughter ) a lot of people could argue. somebody like kendrick lamar, he's known to be one to have the most me meticulous artists out there. >> absolutely. >> trevor: you worked with him on paper butterfly.

>> yep. >> trevor: the way it happens is you're supposed to be there for one song. >> yeah. >> trevor: he hears you play and he goes, like, no all of it. >> yeah. my friend terrence barton said come by the studio i'm here with kendrick, i need to play for one song. >> trevor: i've heard that. come to the studio now! i didn't know that was real. >> i was recording my own record and he called and said you in l.a.? i said yeah. he said i'm in the dr. dre studio with kendrick. after the first song, kendrick said, whoa, whoa, keep him there. he said, play what you hear. i played what i heard, every song. so i'm on nine or ten songs. some of the stuff i didn't get credit for because it happened so fast. everything happened so fast. it was amazing. and ken trick is so open. he's like a jazz musician. whatever happens in the moment

he's like let's do that. >> trevor: when you're choosing who to collaborate with on your albums, you have a pick. every artist wants to work with you. you love working with different artists. you pick what genre you want to album to fall into. i didn't know that when it comes to the grammys you have to choose which category your music is going to be in. >> you choose. >> trevor: that's a gamble. >> absolutely. >> trevor: because in jazz you pretty much know -- come on. >> that's what happened with my first black radio album, black radio one came out in 2012. i'm a jazz musician and i had four albums. and i won awards. let's talk about the music. everybody says put him in the jazz category. but i was on the streets. ist on the tour of maxwell. i know what's happening in the reason be world. they loved the record. the hip-hop world loved the record. so i'm seeing it happen in

realtime. i said, i'm going to put this in the r&b category. when we got nominated, it was done, and i was, like, we're not going to win but it was the vindication i needed. when you have jimmy jim -- >> trevor: why did you think you wouldn't win? >> at the no one knew me in that world. in my mind i'm thinking we got nominated, i'm good with that. >> trevor: that's not how bruce lee would think. >> that's true. >> trevor: bruce lee would go i'm going to win the grammy. >> i became bruce lee right after that grammy. that's when i became bruce lee. >> trevor: the grasshopper. >> exactly. for sure. >> trevor: growing up as a kid, i love listening and hearing about your story because i love hearing about anybody who's been to church as much as i have growing up. >> oh, yeah. >> trevor: you were in church a lot. >> a lot for no reason all the time. >> trevor: well, not for no reason, it's for all the reasons. you get blessings! you know, okay, so a lot of people go to a lot of church but

few people i met go to different churches. my mom took me to every different kind of church. >> i played at all of them. >> trevor: that intrigued me. you played music in every church. >> played for a seventh day adventist on saturdays. i played at a catholic church sunday morning. >> trevor: what do you play for them? >> i played hymns, but in this particular church the priest was a jazz fan and the choir director, who passed away, was a jazz singer. they'd do the call and response to jazz tunes. >> trevor: come on! >> it was so ino vaiflt. >> trevor: you're telling me when i was in catholic church i could have been getting jazz? >> absolutely. around the corner at 11:00, i would go to the baptist church. >> trevor: that would be the most fun. >> i was crazy with the money. >> trevor: they paid you? >> absolutely.

i bought so much lunch for my friends, it's crazy. are tater tots on me going down. i'm not even thirsty but i always wanted to do this. >> trevor: that's what it's for. it's not even for the actual drinking to have the thing. we don't even change the water from episode to episode. two grammy nominations coming up. i know you will be working at the oscars as well. the album comes out february 25th. >> "black radio three," yes. >> trevor: a lot of pressure. >> no pressure. >> trevor: i'm loving this. most people would be, like, the first album came out, basically, like, the godfather. the second one, we didn't think it could get better but it did. now the third one. most people would think pressure. >> no pressure. >> trevor: like water. congratulations on the album. >> thank you >> trevor: "black radio three" comes out february 25th, and stay tuned for a special performance after the break. >> and i'm going to take my

shirt off. stay tuned. it's happening. >> trevor: we're going to do it. ( laughter ) i've got piano fingers but i can't play. ♪ [upbeat music] ♪ [sound of tape application] i just need you to sign option three. [cheering]

♪ [upbeat music] ♪ for everything we need. for everything we want. for everything we do. [cheering] we're all better off with an ally. ♪♪ [music] ♪ we're all better off with an ally. ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪i'm so defensive,♪ ♪i got bongos thumping in my chest♪ ♪and something tells me they don't beat me♪ ♪ ♪ ♪he'd better not take the ring from me.♪ ♪ ♪

♪ ♪ we all need help, just different kinds. maybe you need a little. maybe you need a lot. at h&r block, get the expert tax help you need, online and in-person. help is here. i just love having to check-in online, and having to do itn. again on the mobile app. and having to do it again in-person. are there any other ways that i have to check-in? no. but we're working on it. [ laughter ] i've only ever bought bird seed from this website, but they're recommending cat food. i think we need a cat. they know us so well. who wants a kitty cat? who wants... you want a kitty cat.

welcome to the next level. this is the all-new lexus nx. with intuitive tech... (car sfx: beep beep) (car sfx: watch for traffic) ...and our most advanced safety system—ever. ♪♪ >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." now to perform "heaven's here," please welcome back robert glasper, featuring ant clemons. ♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪ why am i nervous when i know how i feel about you ♪ it's like i'm going in circles

every time i get around you ♪ i'm still about you, and always been about you ♪ wish you were left in my world, that was right where i found you ♪ and that's why i'm still about you, and always be about you ♪ this is the moment i got with you, couldn't see me without you ♪ so tell me why would i try to test my luck and make it bad for myself ♪ and tell me why would i ever give you up and drag myself back to hell ♪ when i got heaven here with you ♪ when i got heaven here, when heaven sent you here ♪ can i be honest with you babe, if i'm allowed to ♪ love when i'm lost in your surface, but deeper is where i found you ♪ i'm still about you, and

always been about you ♪ when i got lost in the world, that was right where i found you ♪ and that's why i'm still about you, and always be about you ♪ this is the moment i got with you, could see me without you ♪ so tell me why would i try to test my luck and make it bad for myself ♪ and tell me why would i ever give you up and drag myself back to hell ♪ when i got heaven here with you ♪ when i got heaven here, when heaven sent you here ♪ when i got heaven here with you ♪ when i got heaven here, when heaven sent you here ♪ why am i nervous when i know how i feel about you

♪ you, feel about you, feel about you, feel about you ♪ how i feel, how i feel about you ♪ how i feel, how i feel about you oh, oh, oh ♪ ♪ when i'm here with you ♪ ♪ ♪ when i'm here. ♪ when i'm here with you

♪ when i'm here with you ♪ >> trevor: thank you so much for that, robert glasper. don't forget -- "black radio three" comes out february 25th. make sure you listen. okay, we're gonna take a quick break, but we'll be right back after this. that's our show for

tonight, but before we go, in honor of black history month, the daily show's monochrome collection is getting an update...with a new mug! and 100 percent of the viacomcbs proceeds will be donated to the national black arts festival, an organization working to educate,

engage and entertain audiences by supporting art and artists of african descent. if you want to support the national black arts festival and grab your very own daily show mug, scan the qr code or head to the link below. here it is, your moment of zen. >> when we heard, we were like what? >> controversy the talk of the student body at this high school. the majority white student body disagreeing over this announcement made over the loud speaker. in honor of the black history month one way we will celebrate is by highlighting a traditional meal to celebrate southern history. fried chicken. >> they couldn't have come up with a better than than fried chicken for african cuisine. >> the school issuing a statement they had poorly community the message some perceiving it as a negative

stereotype. sure you don't want the tickets? no thanks. i can't believe i'm having trouble getting rid of super bowl tickets. i'm telling you, skip the drakes' wedding. go to the game. i can't. the drake put me in the wedding party. well, who schedules his wedding on super bowl sunday? maybe he didn't know. lemme see. i can't believe you got these for free. what--? row f? row f. in front of the gs. hobnobbing with the ds and es. what about kramer or elaine? they don't want them? i asked. elaine laughed at me. kramer's only interested in canadian football. well, wish i could help you. come on. take 'em. you could take bonnie. you payin' my hotel and airfare to miami? -what do you think? -so in order to use these, i gotta spend, like, 1500 bucks. this is a bill for $1500. plus, she'd ask about the sleeping arrangements. i find those sleeping arrangement conversations depressing. yeah. sleeping arrangements. -so you haven't, uh...? -oh, no, no, no. i haven't even seen her apartment yet. -tomorrow is the first night. -ah-ha.

hey, hey, hey. is that tim whatley? -the dentist? -yeah. is he still mad at you for crashing his thanksgiving party? oh, no. i explained the whole thing to him. -he was fine with it. -oh, good. yeah. i blamed it on you. [sneezes] -hi, tim. -hey, jerry. george. what are you up to? oh, just a couple gals out on the town, shoppin' and gabbin'. i'm gettin' a makeover. hey. how'd you like to go to the super bowl? -what? are you kidding? -here. two tickets. have a good time. whoa, how can i thank you? i tell you what, i'll take you to dinner sometime. -ever been to mendy's? -no. no, no. no, no. no dinner.

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