"one for the ladies" is one too many for the ladies. [ laughter ] ♪♪ . >> coming to you from new york city, the only city in america, it's the daily show. tonight abortion bans and alexis mcgill johnson. this is the daily show with trevor noah. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: what's going on, everybody, welcome to the daily show, i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in. thank you for being here, everybody. oh man! take a seat, take a seat, let's

get into it. take a seat, we've got a jam-packed show for you tonight. we will be looking at all the fallout of yesterday's big news of roe v. wade, dulce sloan with the lottery, michael kosta whether see if people read the news and our guest is the president and c.e.o. of planned parenthood. so let's do this, let's jump straight into the big news of the day. (applause). >> trevor: all right, with the supreme court now seemingly on the brink of striking down roe v. wade many people are horrified, not that women in half the country would lose their rights over their other than body but rather that this information got leaked. which is weird, like running around the deck of the titanic triering to find out who yelled we're sinkerring instead of focusing be on the iceberg, chief justice john roberts announced an immediate investigation to identify the leakerment cable news doesn't have time to wait around, so everyone knows who really did it. >> who did it.

>> that's the question everyone is asking today, who is behind the leak. >> was it a clerk. was it somebody at the copy machine. who dun it. >> some left wing law clerk, angry at the direction the court is going. >> i think this was leaked by a liberal law clerk who is trying to change the outcome of the case. >> a lot of people are saying this may have leaked from a justice society mayor clerk. >> it may be someone who wants to keep all of the judges on the side of a lito in their box. >> trevor: yes a left wing antifa law clerk, or a right wing maga hit trying to lob the decision in place or maybe it was the butler t is always the butts letter. -- butler, but while everyone on regular cable channels was playing the least horny version of knives out newsmax had already cracked the case, it was the black woman. >> i find it suspect that the first leak coming out of the supreme court in history comes

shortly after judge jackson is confirmed. she would be my first suspect when it comes to the leak. >> trevor: and my first suspect for asshole is you, is you! bravo, detective. bravo! (applause) look at you, using the tried and true investigative technique of the black person did it. and you know, everyone has theories, everyone. everyone has theories for all we know it could have been an accident, right, there are many times that i have gotten drunk and sent something that should have stayed in draft but i mean i guess that doesn't make sense for the supreme court because who would have gotten drunk at the supreme court, you know. >> still like beer. >> trevor: my man. look whoever did it though-- (applause). >> trevor: whoever did it though, i'm not surprised it happened. in fact, i can't believe that this didn't happen earlier. i mean you have seen the security they have at the supreme court. it sucks. the guard outside is literally wearing a blindfold stvment not

going help anybody. so i do guess why they are trying to find this leaker. you don't want this to turn into a trend, all right. they leak now, they will leak in the future, leaks all the way going forward. look what happened in the world of comedy. one standup gets slapped. now dave chappelle is getting tackled on stage. shit, i have to get a pair of nunchucks just in case. don't try that shit with me. that's right. pop, how about now. pop out now, i'm going to show you. what, what, knock myself out before you get to me. (laughter) now while the supreme court is trying to figure out who the snitch is, the rest of the country is trying to figure out what women will be allowed to do with their own bodies. and while everyone knew that women in red states were in trouble, it turns out thanks to some lazy law making there are also two blue states where women might lose the right to choose. >> if the supreme court does

strike down roe v. wade later this spring, all lives in wisconsin would turn to a 170 year old law that is still on the books. wisconsin still has a ban on abortion in place from 1849. it outlaws all abortions except for cases where a mother's life is at risk. >> in michigan the law was passed in 1931, ban as abortion or to save the life of the person that is pregnant and contains no exception for rape and incestness it never had to be appealed because roe made it on sol let but it is still date law, still on the books. >> trevor: this is so ridiculous f roe v. wade goes away wisconsin and michigan will use laws laws from 1931 and 184. think about how many laws like from back then, how many laws are we using from back then. think about the laws that weren't even around. half are about how much corn you can legally hide in your top hat. those are the abortion laws about to am could back into effect? guise, unused laws shouldn't be

a thing that come back. they should have like an expiration dated or at the least states should smell them every now and again to make sure they haven't gone bad. now you might be thinking, well, aren't michigan and wisconsin prochoice. >> yeah, they are, big time, more than 60% of wisconsin voters and at least 70% in michigan support legal abortion. but their state legislatures are controlled by republicans. yeah, so you best believe you're more likely to see fashionnova at met galta that republicans repeal the laws so once again, the falls to the only people that actually care about them. >> as women fight for abortion rights amazon says they will help their employees access the health care they want. the company announced on monday that it will pay for abortions for employees who need them. they will get up to $4,000 a year for workers who need to travel to our states so seek medical care other companies like apple, citigroup, lev ice and yelp have made similar

promises to employees. >> trevor: that's a big deal, companies like apple, sti group and even am zohn-- amazon are promising to help their employees travel to other states if they need to get abortions, which is amazing. that vl amazing, usually you only see that kind of offer when a member of congress gets his mistress pregnant. really powerful. and considering the political climate right now any company wading too controversial culture war issues, like they could face serious backlash. i mean prolifers could start a boycott against amazon that could last minutes. before they get tempted on a deal on a knockoff roomba. and to be honest i'm surprised amazon is doing this. because it's wild. they will let employees go to a blue state before they let them use the bathroom. i mean that is pretty wild but they deserve the praise. in fact i propose a toast. let's all raise a gatorade bottle of pee in amazon's honor. here here.

ah, i thought it was piss, it's gatorade. you guys liked it the wrong way. so those are the latest updates on the fallout of the roe v. wade leak from the supreme court. while we don't know where this will end we do know it is definitely a conversation about how society treats women's reproductive rights because you know, what i find interesting is if you go online, or if you watch conservative news, all right, you bound to find tons of people saying that the reason they are against abortion, the reason, is because they don't want to interfere with what god has decided. if you got pregnant because god wanted you to be pregnant. if you can't have kids that is god's plan too i understand that as an argument, i really do. however i find it interesting that these same people never use that argument when it comes to men. yeah because if watch fox news--

(applause) >> or any of these channels, they've got ads for erectile disfunction pills, all right. yeah, how come they never say oh, you can't get it up, well that's god's will. (applause) i'm sorryed. they never say that. medicine is always encouraged to do whatever it can to augment men's sexual health however it can and if you want to see, if you want to see just how far medicine is willing to go for men, look no further than this story from the u.k. >> where doctors helped a man grow a penis on his arm. >> a british man who lost his penis to infection has finally had a new one surgeically attached after six years of growing it on his arm. doctors even designed a hand pump that can inflate the penis and produce an rection. 47 year old malcolm mcdonald is the subject of a new

documentary called the man with a penis on his arm. according to the daily mail, viewers were stunned watching the program last night in which malcolm described the penis falling out of his sleeve while shopping and even hitting his loved oned in the face when he hugged them. >> trevor: yeah, this man lost his penis. and instead of accepting it, doctors figured out a way to grow him a new one on his arm. and as hard as it was for him to live like this, i'm glad that medicine has come so far that we are basically doing something that is from the future. meanwhile, we want women to live back in 1849, huh? and by the way, can i also just say how much i appreciate the title of that documentary. the man with a penis on his arm, no, it is simple, it's direct, it's direct. if i see that scrolling on netflix i know exactly what i am getting. i know exactly what it is.

(applause) unlike tiger king, i thought it was a sequel to i willon kings starring tigers found out the real star was met. but you see, there say reason i'm bringing up the story today. not just for the incredible dick jokes i could make, no. like obviously getting an abortion and an arm penis aren't the same thing but do i find it emblematic of how differently men and women's reproductive health is treated. women across america will soon lose autonomy over their own bodies. and many people are fine with it. you even see people on tv downplaying the situation. so you will have to carry a baby for nine months against your will and let it destroy your body and maybe are you not ready for it or can't afford it, you can just give it up for a disoption ar, it's fine. meanwhile a guy loses his dick and st like lean neeson is on the case, i don't care how long it takes i don't care what kind of medical innovations we have to come up with, we will get your penis back. just think about that, that is the headlines let's check about

something everybody cares about, its time for lottery numbers with dulce sloan, everybody. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: i'm so excited. what is happening, dulce, how are you doing today? how are you doing? >> listen, i am doing absolutely great, blessed and highly favored. but before we get to the lottery can we talk about ketanji brown jackson,. >> trevor: you mean the news max story where they said they suspect her. >> well, absolutely, it's like everybody knows you don't do dirlt when you first start a job. like when you first start working with somewhere that is not when you steal. otherwise i would have walked out of here with seven desktop computers. no, you start stealing when you about to quick like that stephen breyer dude, that other white, other white-- the white man, of a hundred of them. he is on his way out. he the one that leaked it.

when you quit, that is when you start stealing. everybody knows it. >> trevor: an interesting theory. >> listen, i will give you a prime example, okay, i used to work for a power company without cannot be named. and when i was getting ready to quick everybody without called me whose lights wasn't on, i just turned their lights back on.. >> now listen, is it a felony. maybe. but am i a good person, absolutely. trs i'm glad you didn't name them. all right, well, let's do t let's get to the lotto. >> let's get floo this lotto. >> trevor: this is exciting, all right. >> a, lotto, lotto, lotto. lotto. >> trevor: all right. >> all right. b6. >> trevor: no, no, wait, dulce, no, no, that is bingo.

i sent you an email saying we are doing lotto. >> the last time you had me doing this the ball didn't have no numbers. i brought you letters and numbers. come on, baby. >> trevor: but i sent you an email that it has to be emails for lottery. >> we talked about. this you think i'm readings whole email. did you put it in the subject line? >> trevor: i can't put it all in the subject line. >> then you didn't want me to know the information. >> trevor: if you don't read the emails, what do you read. >> listen f it is not on instagram, i don't know what is happened. >> trevor: i even told you about the news, i put the news in the email. >> listen, i get all my news from this show so i don't know what you are talking about. >> trevor: oh boy. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: okay, let's see what the next one is then. >> number lotto, i is that a line, i21. >> trevor: this doesn't help us.

okay, i21. >> wait, hold on. let me-- i'm sorry. did you say a man had a penis on his arm? >> trevor: yeah, they grew a pennist-- penis for him on his arm. >> okay, but that say penis he chose? like if they give you, likes if they are going to grow you a new one, on your forearm, shouldn't it be down his finger trips? >> trevor: i think it's weird to be worried about the size. i think if you don't have a penises and then someone offers you a penis, i think you just take what you can get. >> listen there are many times in my life when i haven't had a penis, and i promise you, i didn't settle for anyone that just came a lock. you understand?

you got to have standards, trevor, okay. you got to love yourself. thank you so much, now listen, that's all for me. -- . >> trevor: what do you mean, you didn't give us the numbers. >> i'm so sorry, i got des tracted by the penis, i forgot about the balls. >> trevor: dulce sloan, everybody. all right, don't go away. cuz we're still going to be joined by the president of planned parenthood, you don't want to miss it. so i don't get any of the numbers. (cheers and applause)

the chappelle is down and the audience member has him but unfortunately it looks like his attack has failed. the chappelle is back on its feet, and the audience member turns and runs as the hunter las become the hunted. chappelle security pursue the person, and now all hell breaks loose. >> where did [bleep] come from. >> chappelle looks to make sure he is unscathed and prepares his own attack. >> i am going to kill that [bleep]. >> the audience member has [bleep] and he has also found [bleep] and he has also found out, this is the circ

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♪ singing shania twain “you're still the one" ♪ those were good times. they were golden. (cheers and applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. here at the show we pay pay a lot of attention to what is going on in the news, but how much are the people outside our studio following along? well, we sent michael kosesa to find out for another edition of fill me in. >> welcome to fill me in the game where we put their words into your mouth. that's sounded kind of gross. okay, welcome to fill me in, this is a game where you fill in

the-- gap. >> give me another answer. >> a game where you fill in the-- answer. >> another answer. >> a game where you fill in the missing link. >> blarntion you fill in the blank, do we know who this is? >> no. >> all right, republican, duh, who looked at this and says democrat. republican congressman madison aw thorn. >> i have heard of him. >> you probably read his stuff on the blogs you read, republican republican madison cawthorn recently said quote the ukrainian government sin cedably corrupt and is incredibly evil and has been pushing blank. >> false nar tifer. >> no false narrative is what russia has been pushing and madison cawthorn here. before you guess, it's not cocaine and orgy's but it is similar because it is also

something he can be-- this ised so man sond and fellow republicans find terrifying but democrats describe as just being nice to people. >> you do note a lot about american stuff, st rhymes with rope. >> i'm not sleeping i'm. >> woke. >> woke ideology. how did you know that. >> wow. >> do you believe that ukraine is pushing woke ideology. >> not so much. >> you know woke ideology, like what those leftists believe that russia shouldn't be invading a sovereign country, so politically correct. >> ugh, politicians for this next round let's hear it from the real heroes, movie stars, reese witherspoon recently tweeted are you curious about blank? let's learn together. >> the president, what is something that if i said it to you you would go ugh.

>> traveling the world. >> traveling the world is trtion. what is something you want to hear less about. >> going gluten free. >> here is a hint t is something that no one actually needs but everyone is talking about and it is not tiktok. >> critical-- critical race theory. >> crt. >> right. >> it is actually another acronym. >> i'm at a heart party trying to hit on you, i have a bunch of money and you should really be getting too money. >> art, yeah. >> it is the money what thing? >> like the-- the digital. >> digital money art thing, i'm completely drawing a blank. >> name a letter. >> ncl and i don't think that is it either. >> sounds like a k-pop band. >> you into k-pop. >> no, i'm old. >> the answer is nft. too bad you didn't get that because the prize for getting it

would have been an nft of a monkey that would have had you set for life. we live in a very dumb, dumb, dumb world. >> no love for nft's, the beanie babies of the 2020. time to bring it home in our bonus round. >> who said i don't think i'm qualified to answer this when then president trump asked him what he should do about north korea. who said that? >> pence. >> mike pence. >> mike pence. >> you are giving donald trump way too much respect to think that he would ask an actual politician a policy question. think much less qualified. >> he introduces himself like this, my name is >> rupaul. >> rupaul actually is qualified to answer north cor yavment have you seen drag race, breaking up arguments-- arguments, dealing with egos, disappointment,

success. >> no. >> think about the least qualified person that could answer a question about north korea, a person who said to trump i'm not qualified to answer that. >> kid roc. >> well guess what. >> it's kid rock. >> no way. >> my name is kid-- bow chyka chyka bow bow bounces in your mouth, balls in your mouth. that's one of his songs, i don't just scream that. (applause). >> trevor: thank you so much michael kosta. all right, when we come back, alexis mcgill johnson the president of planned parenthood is joining me on the show. so don't go away.

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♪♪ >> trevor: well-- welcome back to the daily show, my guest tonight is the president & ceo of planned parenthood, she's here to talk about the fight for roe v. wade and protecting women's right to choossments please welcome alexis mcgill johnson. (applause) welcome, welcome. >> welcome to the daily show. >> thank you so much for having me. >> what a time to have you on. everybody in the country has been shellshocked by what is not an official decision but unfortunately looks like a looming one none the less. as the president of planned parenthood i know many people

are turning to you to say what does this mean, what does this actually mean on the ground? >> so right now it is still a drafted opinion, on the grownd abortion is still legal. and i think that's really important because there are people waking up every day who are going to health centers to get access to care and there are already enough restrictions out there. we have to remember that this is a moment where this final decision is isn't the end. what we saw on the ground as well yesterday was an intense set of demonstrations, of the rage that people have been experiencing over and over again. and the frustration with seeing the rights being stripped away. >> when you look at that, and you look at that fight. do you ever think that we could do a better job of maintaining a consistency for those fights with people's liberties as opposed to having it be an on offer stretch. i know people are out protesting, et cetera. but if you look at conservative, it seems like they have been

slowly chipping away, they plan way in advance, they think of which judges to get into which position and now it looks like they're going to reap the feet of their labor. i would love to know what you think, like people who believe that women should have the right to choose what they do with their bodies, what they should be doing constantly as opposed to intermittently. >> i think you are right to locate it in what the long game is, that the opposition has spent 50 years fighting this. but the last 12 years in particular, weaponnizing, gerrymandering in state. focusing on justices all the way up to the supreme court. and every turn they have tried to sently take more power in order to take more rights away. and it is not just access to abortion that they are coming for, right. we heard them openly talk about access to con stra ception, marriage equality, interracial marriage. all the things of how we identify ourselves and bodies is exactly what the long game and strategy is. so our long game has to be just as relentless. it has to be just as strategic t

is not just about being in the street but capturing that rage and turning it into the mid terms, you know, 22, we've got to make sure we are turning people out. also think bts fact that they have kicked us out of the constitution. if roe very vrksz v wade is ourn turned you have d-- you have to think about how you get yourself back in. >> when you think about this fight, i think a lot of the time people think about what they can do to stop the other side or what they can do to fight back as what is happening. i think there is one thing that i found really interesting in particular between how many conservatives and republicans think and how many democrats or liberals think and that is republicans hold their own accountable. in an interesting way. you know so they go either you are doing this or you are out of the party. and we've seen trump do that without fail.

is this something that people could be doing to put pressure on the democrats to say hey, when we have voted you in, we need you to solidify what we both do. >> absolutely. there say bill right now called the women's health protection act, leader schumer will take it up next week again with the senate to vote on. and what the women's health protection act does is codifies a federal registration that protects this right. into law. and you know, gets people on record, right, we don't have unfortunately we need to inform the filibuster in order to get it passed but at the same time we are going to be able to get people on record, hold them to account to your point and that's our message. the reason you can't have what you want, even though we have 80% of people believe row should be the law of the land, the reason you can't have the things that you want is because essentially these states have, you know, a local minority of people who control the levers of power the and the only way to change that is through direct democracy, we have to fight to

get ourselves back into democracy and into the constitution and this legislation can help us do that. >> let's talk about this legislation for a moment. you know i always guess frustrated and confused by why legislation in america has so many things added it like a bundle. even this women's health protection act. i love the idea of codifying roe v. wade, let's get women their rights but it adds in a few other things that people can use as be excuse to fight against, it affects waiting rooms, it effects doctors, and a little thing on this side and that side. do you sometimes not worry that when you create a law, when you help lawmakers to try and think of these things, it gives people an out where they can say oh, i didn't vote for that because of this, not baws i want weim women to have a choice but i didn't like what it did to doctors or their waiting rooms or all these other ancillary issues that will affect people. >> so here is the state of lay right now, right. we have roe is the law of the land technically until the decision comes down. and even with roe being the lauv

the land, enshrined in the constitution, states have put restrictions in over and over again, right. we have a six week ban in texas that comes with the bowntee hunter provision, a 15 week ban in florida and arizona. we have had laws about whether or not someone will need to see the same doctor within a 72 hour period. the laws are all about shaming people. about shaming providers, about shaming the patients about the decisions they want to make about their own body. what the women's health protection act does is actually says all of these laws that are getting in the way of people being able to access their federal rights rights is those s that would be banned. and that is what is important, right. the fact that even though we have the right right now, access itself is so limited. and so that's why we are seeing the imrowt rage right now because it has been not only this chipping away of rights but also a chipping away of access. roe is the floor, as my reproductive justice colleagues would say. >> trevor: wow. when you look at branding, there

is no denying that any political messaging, any messaging that is trying to mobilize society has to think about how it is branded. when you look at how people approve of or what, you know, the polling suggests about people's support of abortion throughout the united states, i have noticed an interesting trend and that is it dramatically changes depending on how the question was asked or where you say it happened or how, i think the overwhelming majority of people will say they are pro, a woman having a right to choose but in the first trimester and second trimester it becomes maybe even switched the other way and third trimester it completely flips, do you ever worry that maybe planned parenthood and organizations like yours that are fighting for women's right to choose, do you ever worry that you may be losing the entire war because are you not willing to concede on some of the battles or do you feel like you have to go for all of them at once even if you risk losing everything. >> trevor, no two pregnancies ended the same way, right it is the reality that people will

make decisions about their pregnancies whether or not to continue them or terminate them based on the circumstances in their own lives and that is the thing that we really need to understand here. getting, parsing out weeks in gestation, that is what the opposition has done. they try to create theses around understanding what most people want is to not have a polt tition in their decision, right, right? (applause) you don't want them in your exam room. you don't want them in the conversation with you and your doctor, you don't want them in your conversation with you and your patiented nesh and pastor and that to me is the most important message we theed to be sending to people. the reason why it also nieds to be a private decision is because it is only your business, right? yes. (applause). >> trevor: where to from here? >> so again, we are, we will be standing with the senate next week when they take up this vote

to support all of those folks who support access to abortion codifying roe, we will be channeling all of the rage through 2022 and then like i said we have a long game that we need to play around what it really means to have, you know, this federal protection enshrined in the constitution. i think that's really important because i think a lot abut the fact that what it means to be a leader of the times, at the end of roe as the leader of a reproductive race organization. i think the question we have to ask ourselves now is who are we going to be when we are no longer defending roe, how will we reimagine and create an affirmative decision right without significant ma, the kind of provision that everyone should be able to have, the kind of health care in their own state, not getting in a car, driving a thousand miles, put your kids in the car just to get access to baifng health care. you deserve it in the state that you live regardless of your race, class, ability to pay. all of those things are really important and that is what planned parenthood stands for and we will be offering that

decision as well. >> trevor: thank you for joining us, appreciate your time. to find out bans off our body rally near you on may 14, go to bans off.org. we will take a quick break, and be right back after this. as a business owner, your bottom line is always top of mind. so start saving by switching to the mobile service designed for small business: comcast business mobile. flexible data plans mean you can get unlimited data or pay by the gig. all on the most reliable 5g network. with no line activation fees or term contracts... saving you up to $500 a year. and it's only available to comcast business internet customers. so boost your bottom line by switching today. comcast business. powering possibilities.™

>> trevor: that's our show for tonight, but before we go, please consider supporting the national network of abortion funds. they're a grassroots organization on the ground building power to remove financial logistical, cultural and plitd kal barriers to abortion. they form a network of over 70 grassroots organizations and

recognize the power of local activists knowing what their communities need. right now abortion is still legal in all 50 states so you can help them, please donate to the link below. until tomorrow, stay safe out there and remember if you have a penis growing out of your arm, maybe just to fist-thumb. >> here it is. >> may the fowrlt be with you, st star wars day and that means it is time, jen, to get out those light sabers. >> also may, listen, oh, steven does this shall. >> are you not my mother. >> do we lightsaber each other. >> i mean, i guess we could. >> get the hair. >> that say wookie man. >> . captioning s

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