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- early in my hungarian trip, i had watched the intensity of fidesz supporters with just a hint of familiarity. - fa--joe biden? it made me feel right at home. but you can't always judge a country by its far right rallies. so i hit the streets. i want to talk to the people of budapest, the budapest or the buda pescatarians, who tend to be more progressive and support the opposition party and like actual pescatarians, they could smell that orban's power grab is a little bit fishy. - he is an autocrat. - orban is putin's guy. - as an academic and a student and a teacher. i feel myself a victim of this ruthless, illiberal regime as well. - what does your sign, say. this i get. orban is a dictator. clean. all right. let me try my head at this.

putin is-- pinchy... - why is orban putin's lapdog? - what is hungarian for ass-licking? shagnalo? we have shagnalo in america, too. so not only was there ass licking in hungary, there was even some dissent, but i didn't see any of this perspective reflected in the many, many political ads i saw around town. in fact, even though we were days away from a national election, i only saw one candidate in the streets and on tv, viktor orban. i talked to independent journalist szabolcs panyi, to find out why that is. - orban has lost two elections in 1994 and 2002 that he blamed on the media. when he came back to power in 2010, he changed the country's constitution. he enacted a new media law, media starts to broadcast pro orban propaganda. in america you have fox news,

here it's basically the state itself that's broadcasting right wing propaganda and i guess that's that's a big appeal to lots of conservatives. - so you turn on the tv you're mostly going to see essentially just a wall to wall tucker carlson's. - yeah but like cheap eastern european editions. yeah. - is there a samir akenesh in the bunch. - sorry? - a samir akenesh? small grumpy cnn guy? - no, i don't think so. - so how does having a samir akenesh list media landscape, impact the political system? for answers, i went to the leader of the opposition party, peter marki-zay. marki-zay, how's it going? jordan klepper. - being good, doing good and trevor didn't come. so that's my disappointment. - is a traditional hungarian greeting, you nag the person as soon as you meet them? -probably. - when we met, peter marki-zay was challenging orban for the primeministership, which was not an easy task. - state media is 100% controlled by orban to the extent that the entire opposition only gets 5 minutes live airtime on state media in four years.

then i got the 5 minutes as the prime minister candidate of the entire opposition wednesday morning, 8 a.m.. - that's prime time? that's dry time? - absolutely, so you cannot complain, right? - you got morning show time. gayle king makes the best use of that a time. - a few minutes before, a few minutes after, orban was speaking, you know, and he was lying about us. and i get 5 minutes in 4 years. - you got to know how to use that time efficiently. if you had to boil your ideas down to one sexy sound bite, what would that be? - state media, they own all regional daily newspapers. they own all fm radios in this country and they are spreading fake news and smear campaigns, allegations, hate campaigns. - that's good. that's still worthy. so how do you fight back when the odds are so stacked against you? - only chance for us to believe in european values, in the rule of law, in justice is to band together. and we are very diverse it's a very big coalition. - katalin cseh is the leader of the momentum movement, which is not a revamped cable company, but rather a youth party in marki-zay's coalition, which also includes leftists and even a party

that has neo-nazis in it. - used to have neo-nazis in it. - the party used to have neo-nazis. they're no longer neo-nazis. - no. - how ex are the neo-nazis? - interestingly enough, they are a party i used to protest against. and now we are working together because we believe in the basic foundations of a country based on democracy and rule of law. - this really feels like we're at the apocalyptic goal line. whoever can get on board, let's get on board. - well, the stakes are too high. - it's like suicide squad. did you see suicide squad? - of course i did. - actually i didn't. is it like suicide squad? - no. - no? shit. but even with six parties reliant on campaign coverage that could fit into a single tiktok video, is a hard obstacle to overcome. still, there are independent journalists like szabolcs in hungary, and they're trying to get the truth out. - i mostly try to scrutinize orban's relationship to vladimir putin. - so business is booming. - yeah. - while i was investigating his russian ties back in 2019,

i was under surveillance. my phone was infected with an israeli spyware. it's called pegasus, and i was surveilled for a seven month period. - pegasus? - pegasus. - this all sounds like bond villainry. is everything in eastern europe just sort of feel like you're in the middle of an act to a decent bond movie, like one of the daniel craig ones and not one of those bullshit brosnan ones. - that's a good conversion. yeah. - so the government used israeli software to surveil you, but it's just you. it's not the people you were in contact with. - well, they were not after me. they wanted to find my sources. - but do they know the difference between, like, an informant and a source? just like... friendly celebrity from out of town? - no. the problem is that this software can even hack your encrypted communication, like whatsapp, signal, telegram, everything. - so the government knows all your contacts. - and has access to all my messages. - hold on one second.

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- there's no doubt that donald trump and viktor orban share a lot of the same traits with passionate supporters who have a unique insight on international affairs. - michael vick stole my dogs and used them for dogfighting. - he stole your dogs and used them for dogfighting? - he used the proceeds to buy missiles from iran.

- but another thing orban shares with trump is a weird love for vladimir putin. orban welcome nuclear projects. russian banks, said putin was making russia great again and met with putin in moscow as recently as february. but just days before i landed in hungary, putin invaded ukraine. and started slaughtering its people. surely this would be the moment when orban and his supporters would reexamine the relationship between their two countries. who's to blame for the situation in ukraine? - that's a difficult question. - is it? - yeah. - who's to blame for the situation in ukraine? - the usa is to blame in this situation. because, you-- - no, no, i was asking about ukraine. - yeah. what they're saying that the for the situation to emerge, the ukrainian situation, the usa, is to blame. - no shit, he said that? - because-- - what's happened there, it's not putin's fault. - if it's not putin's fault, is it biden's fault?

- this makes me feel at home. i got to say. but was this evasive take on russian war crimes, the official government position? i wanted to know. so i reached out to the office of the prime minister for an interview and for some reason they responded. they sent viktor orban's official spokesperson, zoltan kovacs, who, judging by his name and his policy on outsiders, is a 15th century vampire. i sat down with him to clarify hungary's relationship with russia. - you have to have a reasonable and pragmatic relationship with the leader of the russian federation. - is it regretful that it's got a little cozy that viktor orban has been applauding vladimir putin. - yeah, but by all-- - made russia great again. - took a proper look by all comparison. mr. orban's relationship with mr. putin is in no way outstanding. if you take a look at the businesses that have been done actually between germany and france and russia

and other western european countries. - so we're looking elsewhere. i mean, this is good whataboutism. - this is left over from the soviets? - no double standards here. not even in terms of personal meetings it would stand out, actually. and certainly we have nothing to do with the war between ukraine and russia. the causes, the reasons behind that are still to be understood. - who's to blame for the war? - and that's that's exactly the the thing we are not going into. - you're not going to-- - we're not playing the blame game. we recognize and we know that russia was the aggressor, and that is russia attacked the ukraine. - but right now, a country invades a sovereign nation. now is not the time to point fingers. - again, it's too early. and we certainly is not-- we certainly are not in possession of the truth as we see, as we see, there's a disinformation campaign going on and waging actually, on both sides. - both sides? that's catnip to the american conservative. you know, who does want them to pick a side? this guy.

- so why are trump at orban both refusing to condemn putin? probably because he's an even more invincible autocrat than they are. and because he probably does have a stable of velociraptors that he rides. but luckily for ukrainian refugees, not all hungarians share orban's love for putin. and many of them are stepping up to help. - right now, i'm quartering a family of four. a single lady whose husband is still in ukraine with her three kids. - is this the first family you've had stay with you? - no, that's the fifth one. this is andras hajos. hungarians know him as a musician and a late night tv personality. - [speaking hungarian] - but like many hungarians, he's put his work aside and headed to budapest's main railway station to help the ukrainian refugees, who have been arriving by the thousands, daily.

- this is the place of first contact. - of first contact. and then they find the volunteers so they can get. - yes, they can get tea, sandwiches. i stand here and somebody comes to me, can you take me there? everybody helps everybody. even though different ngos. - i've helped people to get agents or meetings with managers. so i've i've done my part. volunteers were providing rides, sim cards, shelter. even office space. - now we ordinary people meet other ordinary people. when you see a young girl having the same shoes like your daughter, that gives a message that this is us. - it's inspiring to see the hungarian people reach out and do this. i'd like to think if americans were in a similar situation, we had people on our border fleeing violent situations that we would reach out and help. - i'm sure the key is, i think, to let ordinary people meet ordinary people. - i'm saying i'd like to say because i-i would like

to say that, i don't know if i can though. it was remarkable how many hungarians were embracing ukrainian refugees, especially when you consider how the country handled the last refugee crisis. in 2015 when syrians escaping war attempted to enter the country. the orban government gutted hungary's asylum system, built a fence on their southern border and actually passed legislation criminalizing the act of helping migrants. it seems like a double standard. i went back to the hungarian government to have them explain. i guess americans look at it and they see hungary welcoming ukrainian refugees and think back to what happened with syrian refugees. what's different now? - there are huge differences between illegal migrants who are basically taking the services of human traffickers, don't follow the rules, don't carry papers, and certainly they are no immediate danger because this is not the first safe country they are entering. if you're looking for refuge just go to the country next door. - this is the fundamental principle which is guiding the the international agreements on on migrants.

refugees, are entitled for refuge and protection, the first safe country they enter. - so jews who were fleeing germany during world war two, they should have gone to poland for safety. - as it happened, or rather they were-- - france? - russia. again, in europe, it certainly looks a little bit more complicated than in the united states. it's a cultural issue. - but for some people, these issues aren't so complicated. - [bleep] putin. - so finally the hungarians went to the polls. they were choosing between

reelecting an autocratic strongman or an odd coalition bent on restoring democracy. it wasn't even close. orban won by so much, he even taunted his long list of enemies, including the leader of a country currently fighting for its very existence. what orban achieved in hungary is a us conservative's dream. but he did things that americans wouldn't stand for. he refashioned the media into pure nationalist propaganda. he kept up a relationship with the world's worst autocrat, and he rolled back the rights of minorities and the lgbtiq community. fortunately, this is not going to happen in the united states any time before november. it's a political problem. i'm not sure i can solve without a drink. so what are we drinking? - we are drinking unicum. - unicum? - unicum. - unicum. but the good news is people aren't going to give up. - we keep on fighting. we are fighting an uphill battle. but we are fighting for this because we believe that our country could be so much better

that our country deserves to be in the european fold. that we deserve equal rights. we deserve freedom. - we just have to keep doing what we are doing. fortunately, we are still inside the eu, so there are still limits to orban's desires. - [foreign language] - may the future be still there when we get there. - thank you. - oh, awful. - awful. i told you. - yeah. - ♪ - ♪ - ♪

captioning made possible by comedy central - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪

- [giggling] pop! - stop it, cartman. - that's so funny. pop! - god damn it, cartman! stop throwing those stupid poppy things at me! - [cackling] - come on and take a look, folks. we've got a lot of knives for sale here. - oh, my god. look! "martial arts weapons from the far east." - wow, cool. - dude, we should each buy a weapon, and then we'll be like ninjas! - yeah, we won't have to take crap from anybody! - our parents won't let us have weapons, dude. - who's gonna tell them, dumbass? - yeah, dude, our parents are gonna be at this stupid fair all day long. they'll never know what we bought. i'll get the tonfas. those are so sweet! - i'm gonna get those killer sai. look, kenny, there's something even you can afford:

a ninja shuriken for $1.99. - [muffled] [...] awesome! - can i help you boys? - yeah, we want to get one of each of these ninja weapons. - okay, you need to have your parents here when you buy them, though. i can't sell to anyone under 18 without parents' permission. - parents? parents! oh, god! [sobbing] - what's the matter? - [wailing] - we're brothers, see, and our parents died in a car accident last year. - why? why? why did you have to take them both? why? [all sobbing] - why do people have to keep reminding us of what we don't have? - it's all right, boys. don't cry. i'll just go pack these up for you, okay? - goddamn, that's, like, the 12th time that's worked. [all kiaiing] - ki-ya! ki-ya!

- tai-yo! gi-ya! shut up, hippies! i'll kill you! ya! - with my tonfa of takanawa, i become the great and powerful ninja shadow hachi, born to fight evil and people i don't like. - yeah, and my powerful nunchucks make me into bunraku, a deadly but compassionate ninja who protects those in trouble. - what's your ninja name, kenny? - [muffled] - yes, and i am bulrog, tough, brute ninja who has dedicated his life to eradicating the world from hippies. - all right, ninjas, let's go protect the world. - kick ass. you guys, you know what we should do? we should go show our weapons to craig and those guys. they'll be so jealous. - yeah, that'd be awesome. - no, dude, we can't go around showing our weapons to people. our parents might find out we have them. - ah, you see, guys, this is why jews can't be ninjas. they've got no spine. - you don't know anything about jews, fat ass. - oh, yeah? my mom took me to see mel gibson's movie the passion, and mel gibson says you are snakes and you are liars. and if the road warrior says it, it must be true.

- don't worry, kyle. craig's not gonna tell on us. come, ninjas. let's go. all right, this is it. - yes, the residence that belongs to the one called craig. - i still say this is a bad idea. [pounding on door] - ninja positions. ha. hello, craig. - look what we got. - where'd you get those? - we can't tell you where we got 'em. it's secret ninja stuff. - ooh, is that jealously i see in your eyes, craig? mm, yes. drown me in the sweet water of your envy. uh, uh-- they're not that cool. - yeah, they're not that cool. these are real authentic weapons from the far east. - but don't tell anybody we have them. - ugh. - whoa, where'd you get those? - let me see. - uh, we'd love to hang out, guys, but we have important secret work to do. - yes, the life of a ninja is complex and full of peril. come on, ninjas. all: ho. - oh, man, did you see the look on craig's face? that was awesome. - dude, we're, like, the coolest kids in the whole state. - hey, fellas. what's happenin'?

- we're playing ninjas, butters. - wow-whee. hey, can i play ninjas with you? - no, butters, we are a very select elite fighting team sent to protect the world from evil, and you can't play with us. - yeah, butters, you wouldn't make a very good ninja. come on, guys. we have a lot of work to do. - yes, and no time to do it. no time. - i think i'd make a really good ninja. jeez, those guys never let me play with them. they, just shun me all the time. i'm a lost soul, a dark, lonely shadow of a person. - hi, butters. - hi, mom. a castaway, forced to live his life out in solitude. it's because of times like these i was forced to a life of evil. society cast me out, and so i vowed to make them all pay. and pay, they, did. nobody knows that beneath this sweet eight-year-old little boy lies the most evil, most destructive supervillain of all time... professor chaos. let's see how you like dealing with me, ninjas. [laughing maniacally]

[grunting] - ooh, butters, are you going out to play again? - yeah, mom, i'm just going outside for a little while. - well, could you be a sweetie and take that pie over there to the thompsons? i made it to thank them for babysitting you last week. - oh, okay, mom. [grunting] - hmm, this doesn't seem to be the right way. my ninja sense is telling me we might be heading in the wrong direction. - okay, hang on, guys. i'll use my special power to see into the future and find out where we should head next. - hold on, you guys. i actually have another power. i can see into the future, too, but better than kyle. let me try it. - god damn it, cartman. you can't keep making up powers. - yeah, dude, that's, like, the fifth power you've come up with. - i am bulrog, and i have lots and lots of powers. - no, asshole. from now on, you only get to have one power. so what is it? - i have the power to have all the powers i want.

- that doesn't count, fat ass. - yeah, that's it, cartman. you don't get to have any powers. - myaaaaaah! [wicked laughter] well, well, well, if it isn't the four ninjas. - who the hell is that? - i don't know. craig, is that you? - fools! i am professor chaos, bringer of destruction and doom. your feeble ninja powers are no match for me. - whoa. - looks like we have a sworn enemy, you guys. - cool. - very well, professor chaos, we'll play along. now feel the fiery sting of my tonfa of takanawa. kwaaaa! - [laughs] - hey, kid, that knocks you down. - nuh-uh. - yeah-huh, i got you. - nuh-uh, because my cloak is made of a titanium alloy that shields me from heat. - that's bullcrap. titanium alloy, my ass. - well, let's see how he likes the icy blast of my nunchucks of kuramoto. ahh! - byah!

[grunts] a nice attempt, ninja. but now both of you shall feel the power of my web of holding. [both scream] [both grunt] [laughs] now you are both trapped in spiderwebs. [both grunting] - all right, dickhole, time for you to pay. oh, no, i have no powers. kyle took them away from me. quick, kyle, give me back my powers so i can fight this evil villain. - okay, okay, you can have your powers back. - all right, and now i'll use my power to... turn kyle into a chicken. blam. - god damn it, cartman. - ♪ ha-ha, ha-ha-ha-ha ♪ ♪ now you are a chicken ♪ ♪ nyah-nyah, nyah-nyah-nyah-nyah ♪ - enough! i grow weary of your foolishness. professor chaos cannot be stopped. - oh, yeah? kenny, use your ninja star. - yeah. try this, professor chaos. feel my wrath!

- [wailing] - oh, [bleep], dude. - butters. oh, my god. - [sobbing] - oh, dude, it's stuck in his eye. - what the hell did you do that for, kenny? - i just threw my ninja star at him. - it hurts. it hurts. - oh, man, we are in serious trouble. - [wailing] - shh, shh. it's okay, butters. calm down. it's not that bad, really. - but i can't see nothin'. i got to go to the hospital. [screeching] - okay, okay, calm down, butters. it'll be okay. - [gasping] - guys, meeting over here for a second. all right, you guys, we need to stay calm and just do the right thing. we have to kill butters and bury him in kyle's backyard. - dude, shut up. - i agree with cartman. - what? - you don't understand what my mom will do to me if she finds out i was playing with weapons. - just stay still, butters. - wah... wah... wahhh!

- stop, dude. you're gonna scramble his brain. - go ahead and scramble it. then he won't remember it was us. - you guys can't fix my eyeball. you have to take me to the hospital. - if we take him to the hospital, they're gonna find out what happened. - god damn it. - god, please, if you get me out of this, i swear i'll never play with weapons ever again. - don't be so quick to throw off your ninja responsibility, kyle. now, come on, guys. sure, it's easy to be a ninja when everything's going your way, but it's time likes these, when the chips are down, that a ninja shows his true character. - i'm getting woozy. - shut up, butters. now, there's a way out of this. we just have to use our ninja reasoning. - we...need a doctor. but we can't go to the hospital. wait a minute. wait. wait. what about the veterinarian? - dr. shafely? - he's really old and going blind. - so if we make butters up to look like a dog... - oh, no. - we might pass him off as our pet. - but, fellas, if i dress up like a dog with a star in my eye, i'm gonna get grounded. all: shut up, butters. - that is the dumbest idea you guys have ever come up with. i'd expect this stupidity out of cartman, but you, stan? butters needs medical attention right now.

- all right. then you take him to the hospital, kyle. you take him to the hospital and let your mom find out what happened. - [whimpering] - hand me the modeling glue. we need more fur over here. - that modeling glue is making me dizzy. - butters, we're trying to help you, god damn it. now, stop being such an asshole. - we need some more fur. [clippers buzzing] - i think that's good. - okay, let's hear you bark, butters. - [whimpers] woof...woof. - all right, now we just got to sneak him into town. okay, it's clear. - [whimpering] - now, remember, butters, when you get to the vet's office, you need to stay down on all fours and-- butters, listen! at the vet's office, you need to stay down on all fours and bark a lot. - woof, woof, woof. - we got to hurry. it's getting late. [door clangs] - oh, [bleep], somebody's coming. - quick, hide butters. - in here.

- but, fellas, i got-- - aha. there you are. you guys thought you were so cool, didn't you? well, look at what we got. - no way, you got weapons too? - where'd you get those? - from the kn-- from the kn-- - from the knife guy at the county fair. - at first, he said we needed our parents' permission, but then we told him our parents were dead. - aw, man, now every douche bag in town has a ninja weapon. lame. - so how would you ninjas like to do battle? - uh, not now, craig. we have to be going. - you can't pass through this area until you defend your honor. - he said not now, craig. - i am not craig. i am ginza, with the powerful blade of the kintama. gi-ya. - and i am black chaku, with the power of perfect spelling. - guys, we're really not playing, okay? - w-w-what's the matter, fellas? are you n-ninjas or p-p-pussies? - we're twice the ninjas you fags are. - then fight us. - very well, clyde. ya!

- i swore to never fight again. - we don't have a choice, kyle. just humor them. ki-ya! - ki-ya! - ♪ suba-ra-shi chin chin mono ♪ ♪ kintama no kame aru ♪ ♪ sore no oto saru bo bo, iye ♪ ♪ ninja ga imasuuuuuu ♪ ♪ hey, hey, let's go kenka suru ♪ ♪ taisetsu no mono protect my balls ♪ ♪ boku ga warui so let's fighting ♪ ♪ let's fighting love ♪ ♪ let's fighting love ♪ ♪ kono uta chotto baka ♪ ♪ wake ga wakaranai ♪ ♪ eigo ga mecha-kucha ♪ ♪ daijobu we do it all the time ♪ ♪ hey, hey, let's go kenka suru-- ♪ - wait. wait. wait. wait! wait! hold on a second. where's butters? - oh, no. butters! - butters! - oh, nice going, you assholes. you made us lose him. - lose who? - butters. he got a ninja star stuck in his eye,

and we were taking him to the vet when you [bleeped] it all up. butters! - stuck in his eye? was he bleeding? - yeah, a little. butters! get back here right now! - oh, [bleep], you guys are in trouble. we're out of here. - no, dude, you got to help us find him. - to hell with that. - we're in this together, craig. if butters tells on us, we're gonna tell on you. that's ninja code. - [whimpering] hello? anybody? woof, woof. woof-woof. woof? woof? - butters! - butters! - here, butters. - butters? - butters! - b-b-b-b-butters. - butters! - hey, butters! - dude, look. - hello, there, children. all: hey, chef. - how's it goin'? - bad. - why bad? - uh, chef, you haven't seen butters around, have you? - no, can't say that i have. hey, what are you children doing with those weapons? - nothing, just playing.

- well, you children should be careful with those. you could put somebody's eye out. - yeah, we know. - well, i got to get to the fairgrounds. they're about to start the big auction. so long, children. - [babbling] woof. woof. woof-woof. - oh, my god. what the-- doctor, doctor. - jesus christ. - [groaning] - what kind of sick bastard would do this to a dog? poor little pup. - wuh... woof-woof? - can you help him, doctor? - i'm afraid i wouldn't know how. unfortunately for this little fella, i'm a people doctor. best we call the animal shelter. - right away. - in our last episode, the four ninjas did battle with professor chaos, bringer of destruction and doom. it was during that great battle that ninja master kenny threw his star into professor chaos' eye.

now the ninjas were in serious trouble because their parents might find out they had weapons if professor chaos told on them. while trying to get professor chaos some aid at the veterinarian's office, the four ninjas ran into craig and his three friends. they challenged the four ninjas to fight, and the legendary battle of tokutawa began. it was during this battle that professor chaos escaped, and so the four ninjas were forced to join forces with craig and his friends to find professor chaos or else they would all be grounded. - butters! - butters! - here, butters. - butters? - butters! - butters, where the hell are you? - it's hopeless, dude. butters must have made it to the hospital. by now, our parents probably know we were playing with weapons. we have to get rid of the evidence. - what? - dude, we have to get rid of our weapons so at least we can try to deny everything. - screw that, dude. i paid 20 bucks for these things. - yeah, let's just go return them and get our money back. - we don't have time for that, dude. we just have to ditch them--now. - okay, go ahead, kyle, throw your nunchucks away-- if you can. but you know damn well that your jewish blood won't let you. you can't throw away something you paid 15 bucks for. go ahead and try. - screw you, fat ass. - mel gibson was right, kyle.

right now, the jew in you is screaming, "no, those cost money. get your money back." you know this to be true. - [groaning] - go ahead. prove mel gibson wrong, kyle. do it. - [grunting] i can't do it. i can't do it. i-- - it's all right, kyle. we'll go back to the fair and return them. [dogs barking, cats meowing] - come on. come on, little fella. attaboy. - [babbling] - right over here. good dog, come on. there you go, right in there. good dog. - [babbling] [groaning] [screams] - somebody threw a ninja star in that poor puppy's eye?

- it just makes me sick how some people can treat animals. well, nothing we can do for it. let's put it to sleep, shall we? here you go, pup. i've got a sweet dose of murder for you. what the-- blast it, he's escaped. oh, well. let's murder one of these other dogs. - all right, the county fair's still open. - can i help you boys? - we have come to return the weapons we purchased. - oh, sorry, kids, i don't give refunds. - listen, doucher, our parents are gonna kill us and you if they find out that we bought these. - i thought you told me your parents were dead. - you guys. you guys. - what is it, craig? - it's butters. we saw him. - where? - right on the other side of the fairgrounds. he's just wandering around aimlessly. - then it's not too late. - come on, ninjas. - all right, folks, our next item up for auction is this lovely 19th-century lamp. - oh, crap, dude, all our parents are there. - butters was right on the other side. - we have to get past them. - all right, looks like i'll have to use my power of invisibility to get by. - you have that power too?

- i told you, bulrog has lots and lots of powers. behold. this way, i can move about the crowd of people undetected. here, hold this stuff for me. - good luck, bulrog. - now, this lamp comes from the estate of edna and james hollinger, who lived in upstate wyoming. it has a bronze finish and actual gold leaf along the base. this is a really rare opportunity to own a classic antique. the lamp has been appraised by our auction staff at well over $2,000, so we're gonna start the bidding at $375. do i hear $375? kid, what the hell do you think you're doing? - [babbling] - butters!

- what happened to him? - oh, my god. - oh, jesus. - oh, dude, we are gonna get it now. [crowd shouting] - all right, people, we are all extremely upset over what's happened, but let's try to speak one at a time. - well, like the rest of you, i am shocked and appalled at what happened. i don't know if the parents are to blame or if it's the times we're living in, but something has to change. - yeah! - i agree! - this is the worst thing that's ever happened in this town. the worst thing. - yeah! - he's right! - yeah! i mean, there were children watching that auction. and when that little eight-year-old boy walked up and flashed his...penis, it was an outrage. - it certainly was! - i was outraged! - what? - what? - not only that. the auction was televised on public access, so my little daughter watching at home saw the...penis. how am i supposed to explain that to her? - this is what happens when the moral fabric of society breaks down.

- yeah! - it's the fabric's fault! - you see the damage you've caused, eric cartman? what were you thinking? - i told you, it was a wardrobe malfunction. - that's bull! no way! - dude, they don't care we knocked butters' eye out with weapons? - just run with it, dude. - uh, yeah, i agree. uh, my fragile little eight-year-old mind didn't know how to deal with what i was seeing. cartman should be punished. - yeah! - that's right! - hey, [bleep] you, kyle. - dude, i can't believe it. - yeah, i guess parents don't give a crap about violence if there's sex things to worry about. - so i guess this means we get to keep our weapons. - yeah. come on, ninjas. we've got some more work to do. all: hi-ya! - ♪ hey, hey, let's go kenka suru ♪ ♪ taisetsu no mono protect my balls ♪ ♪ boku ga warui so let's fighting ♪ ♪ let's fighting love ♪ ♪ let's fighting love ♪ ♪ kono uta chotto baka ♪