piece not mcnugget, it is nuggets and some sort of soft drink. if you look carefully it seems to have the mcdonald's logo blacked out. >> trevor: wait what? they blacked it out, i wonder what this one is, huh? but that's right, the russians have taken over mcdonald's in russia and they have given it a whole new name. and except for the branding, these restaurants are exactly like mcdonald's. the sauces, the burger, the newingettes-- nuggets, they even broke the ice cream machine to give you that authentic feeling of disappointsment that is what they did now they don't have branded items like big macks or mcnuggets but they do still have grim as, no, not the character, just the face that russians make all the time. and i will be honest, i feel like they could have come up with a better name than tasty and that's it. it almost sounds like they are hiding something, it's tasty, and that's it. stop asking questions.

like what kind of a flame is that for a restaurant, tasty and that's it. sounds like a mistake, you know. like they called the guy who was making the sign and they were like yeah, it's called tasty and that's it and the dude just wrote everything they said. they like the name is tasty and that's it let me know when you are ready for the credit card number. and you know what is crazy about the story is like it shows you how powerful corporations have become flt world. like think about t russia las no problem breaking international law, committing war crimes and defying the united nations. but they draw the line at violating licensing rights? that is where they won't go too far, like comrad, you don't want to mess with ronald clown. very dangerous. i heard one time he took enemy into bullpen, he was never seen again, yeah, ba ba ba ba he was not loving it, not loving it. let's move on. from the russian takeover of ukraine to the technology that could take over the entire

world. >> i'm talking about artificial intelligence. the thing scientists are working on so one day our computers won't just know what kind of porn we want to watch, they will also be able to judge us for it. and ai has come a long way in the past few years but now an engineer as google is saying that ai has come a lot further than we think. >> an engineer with google says the company's artificial intelligence generator is self-aware. he told the company he thinks its ai chat bot is a person who has rights and might have a soul. >> the soft wear engineer who made the claim was put on leave for violating google's confidentialallity policy after handing documents to a u.s. senator's office. despite the claims the program is conscience, google says the technology still has a long way to go. tech expertses say the ai can imitate intelligence by recreating patterns but still can't think or act on its own,

apart from its programming. >> trevor: okay. i don't work at google. and i'm not a computer scientist. but i have watched a lot of movies. and if there is one thing have i learned from movies, it is that if a scientist comes out saying that something crazy is happening back in the lab, and then they get fired tbor it t there is something crazy happening back in the lab. (applause) because yeah, apparently google has an ai that can hold a conversation that is impossible to distinguish from a human. yeah. although to be honest i'm not sure that responding to questions is really the best way to tell if a, has become a real person. like you know when i will be convinced is when it stops responding for weeks and then only gets back in touch with you when it needs a favor. yeah, then i will know it's human. it has learned. and honestly, i'm not sure who to side with in this dea bait.

because on the one hand you have the snreer who says that the computer has a soul which definitely makes me think he has already had sex with it. on the other hand the company says he's wrong. all i know is we have to be careful when we are creating these thing, people. we're basically playing god here and even god made a few mistakes. yeah. i mean you have seen ate slott? what are they doing with these long ass sharp claws what are they using them for them have so cute and slow and then you gave them freddie krueger hands, can i tell you that way god was texting on his phone when he was doing that-- aaahh. and here is my question, if google does have this ai technology y is it still using the crappy version for all of its suggested responses in gmail. you know what i am talking about, right. every option on your email is sounds good, thanks for letting me know. doesn't matter what the email. is i could gets an email from my doctor telling me that my intest tiens are growing teeth and gmail's suggested response is okay, thanks, let's plan that

for next week. i don't know, man. i just think you know, we need to be careful with science these days. we need to listen when the-- we didn't listen when the covid scientists warned us. i'm not making that miss fake again. from now on i'm treating all of my gadgets with love and respect. i will start it right now, hey, siri. >> how can i help you, trevor. >> trevor: no, siri, how can i help you? all right, timely, you may not know this in you have lived here your whole life but america has a reputation, around the world for being a place where anyone can sue anyone for anything and sometimes stereotypes are a little bit exaggerated like how people any this africa we have elephants just walking through the streets which is ridiculous, we have one elephant in the street, his name is henry and he is the mayor of the town, so he can walk wherenever he likes, anyway the certificate stereotype of lawsuits in america t turns out that one happens to be true. >> insurance company geico may have to pay a missouri woman

more than $5 million, the reason for the hefty payout, she says she caught hpv after being intimate in the car with the then boyfriend who is insured by guy could. >> the woman argued his car insurance covers the losses, giekso turned it dowrntion she went to an arbitrator and a court, both sided with what with her. >> trevor: this is a common legal occurrence known as what the [bleep]? do you hear what they just said, a woman had been awarded $5 million from geico because she got hpv from sex in her boyfriend's car and the car was insurance bid geico. i mean, i feel like if anything bad is going to happen to you you need to make sure it happens in a car from now on, you know it could be at the beach, like oh no, there is a shark in the water. st attacking stvment going to eat my leg, no, shark, actually, hey shark, can we do this in my

car, i'm trying to get paid, yeah. i mean don't get me wrong. i feel bad for the woman too, you know, not only did she get hpv in a geico car, the sex was over in 15 minutes or less. also, i feel bad for everyone else out there who also has hpv but doesn't have $5 million. seriously, $5 million, how did they even assess those damages? huh? did you have a mechanic look under the hood like yeah, that pussy'ses to all, yeah, gone, totally done. now apparently, apparently geico is going to fight this, they say they are not going to pay, they don't want to pay. i don't know, i think this seems like great pr for how much their insurance actually covers, in fact, they need to work this into their ads. >> geico can get you some great savings on car insurance.

and then you can-- all you want, front seat, backseat, get that interior stickier than my famously sticky feet. >> trevor: i would buy that insurance. i would buy it all right thrarks is it for the headlines. but before we go to a break, let's check in on the stock market which has been crazy with our finance expert michael kosta, everybody. michael. >> yeah. >> trevor: it is wild, my friend. what is happening in the market today? >> well, trevor, i am crushing it, okay. i am crushing the market. c-r-u-s-s-n-g-h, krurning it t i have a hot tip for you at home and in the audience, before we do that, that hpv story, that woman $5 million, tz crazy. >> that is wonderful, that will really help that next day

awkward post sex phone call you got to make, you know, like hey i'm obligated to tell you two things. one, you have hpv now, two we're going to be [bleep] rich, you know, you know what mi saying. she has hpv, she has hpv, highly paid vagina and i know what are you thinking, how much is that car worth based on that settlement. i don't know, let's me check its kelley blue ball value, you know what i am saying, let me get to the markets. so markets have been down, okay. markets have been down and this is a bear market. now what does that mean t means it is getting hairy, okay. and that is what i learned this weekend during pride, okay. so there are some people that are into bear markets and this is a good time for them. flow bitcoin is crashing. nobody seems to be talking about it and you know that when bitcoin people aren't talking about bitcoin it's bad, all right who would have imagined

that an imaginary economic system based on an imagine currency where you use an emergenciary wallet to buy an imaginary piece of art of an imaginessary monkey playing a drum would crash. i don't know. look, yeah, now it's digital, this is digital so as soon as i saw it was crashing i just unplugged the computer. >> trevor: costa, i don't think that is how it works. >> well, that is why you are not the financial expert, do you understand. there is a reason i'm standing in front of the charts. now let's break down this chart. there are a few things we have to decipher here, first one, these numbers here, people are mistaking these numbers as the day, incorrect. this is the minimum height you need to be to the invest in said currency, 6, 8, 6, 9, 6, 10, why does it drop here, because 6, 12 is not a real height, trevor and it really falls at 6, 13, the market has to respond to this ridiculous not real height.

i'm an expert, ladies and gentlemen, now these dips, michael kosta, financial expert, when you see these dips, buy the dips, okay, buy the dips, blu cheese, hummus, sour cream, okay. you just lost a lot of money, all right. and you need to stay home and have some comfort food and think about your financial future. okay. hot tip to make some money. >> trevor: yeah. >> in a market like this, in order to make money what you need to do is get out of the market and try to get hpv in a car insured by geico. you will be happy you did. (applause). >> trevor: that's some pretty sound advice. michael kosessa everybody, thank you for that. when we come back we'll find out why donald trump isn't still the president. president. you don't want to miss it. ♪ aaaaah ♪

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>> welcome back to the daily show, over the past few days washington, d.c. has been buzzing. and not just because of joe biden's new extensions. although they do look fly, i'm talking about the january 6th hearings. which have now officially kicked off. so let's catch up on all the latest news.

you know, different people have different ideas about what happened on january 6th. for many people it was the day right wing fanatics attacked american's democracy, for trump it was a field trip where they get to meet their friends from the internet. but now the committee says that it can prove that january 6th wasn't just a spontaneous riot by an angry mob. it was the climb axe of a long coordinated plot by donald trump. which i don't know about you, but for me is shocking. no, because i didn't think trump could coordinate anything in advance. the man can't even plan where a sentence would end. i didn't think that would happen. (applause) but according to the committee, trump planned to overthrow the election because he knew that he had lost. and the reason that we know he knew that he had lost is because now everyone around him is spilling the beans. >> the committee relied on some

of those closest to donald trump to make its case. his once loyal attorney general told voacter's trumps claims of a stolen election were bunk. >> i told him that the stuff that his people were shove ething out to the public were bullshit, that the claims of fraud were bullshit. i thoughts if he really believe this stuff he has lost contact with, with, he has become detached from reality. >> and the president's own daughter and senior advisor. >> i respect attorney general barr. so i accepted what he was saying. >> hours after the hearing trump put out a statement saying his daughter quote had long since checked out. and was only trying to be respectful to bill barr. >> wait, wait, i'm sorry. ivanka checked out? when was she checked in. because for four years it looked like she was walking around trying to find her desk. when was she checked in. checked out of what. this is like if machine gun

kelly said he was no longer pursuing a ph.d in nuclear physic, when was that even happening, was that a thing? (applause) but yeah, trump's innercircle was well aware that the election did not go their way. and they told trump except for one person, who had the courage to say that trump did win. >> president trump rejected the advice of his campaign experts on election night. and i sted followed the course recommended by an apparently inebriated rudy giuliani to just claim he won. and insist that the vote counting stop. >> was there anyone in that conversation who in your observation had had too much to drink. >> mayor giuliani. >> the mayor was definitely intoxicate. >> trevor: yeah, accord together former trump aide rudy giuliani was wasted on election night when he told trump that the election was stog enfrom him. and i am just curious about how

you even know when rudy giuliani is drunk. no, because when a normal person is drunk they say crazy things, they yell, they sweat a lot. so how does that work with rudy, does it work in reverse, does he start talking normally, his hair dye sucks back into his hair, how does it work. and it says a lot about trump, his soaber vitzers, the attorney general, his daughter who he wants to bang, they were all telling him you lost this election, sir but trump was like yeah, yeah, whatever, drunk vampire, what do you think. you know when you think about it it makes sense that trump would listen a drunk person because that's the one time people probably sound like him. you know. just like what do you guys think we should do. >> i will tell you what i think we should do. >> wow, there's something about this guy. he'ses to allly gets it. you get it. >> i get it. >> you get-- we get it.

so the january 6th committee say thation trump started plotting months before the actual events, months before. and their proof that he got what he wanted, is that he didn't try to stop the riot once it started. no, he didn't get on the phone once the defense department or call in the national guard it turns out it was actually mike pence who did that, yeah, mike pence was basically the president for a few hours. which is why we have that law now banning water for being too spicy. and it would have been bad enough if trump did nothing but instead he actively riled up the crowd even more. >> one piece of never before seen video of the the attack a rioter is shown reading trump's tweet criticizing his vice president even as its capitol was breached. and how it turned the crowd against mike pence. >> mike pence didn't have the courage to do what should have been done to protect our country and our constitution. giving states a chance toz

correct the seft foocts, not the fraudulent or inaccurate ones which they were ask to previously certified. the u.s. demands the truth. >> hang mike pence, hang mike pence, hang mike pence! >> trevor: yeah, not only did trump not try to stop the riot but while it was happening, he was tweeting out statements that were riling up the mob. which is not something you expect from a president. that is something you expect from a guy on the edge of a weafl house fight, yeah, that's right, he stole your fries. you should beat his ass, burn the whole store down. >> yeah, i will take your order in a second. >> i'm just trying to get this fight going. come on! what is wild is that guy was reading the tweet, standing there in the insurrection, here is a message from trump right now. you know what would have been funny though is if that wasn't the only trump tweet that guy read to the crowd to get them going. >> robert pattinson should not take back kristen stewart, she cheated on him like a dog and will do it again. sorry losers and haters but my

iq is one of the highest and you all know it sorry folks, i'm just not a fan of sharks and don't worry, they will be around long after we are gone. >> trevor: those rioters killed every shark that day. so the hearings showed trump's team told him that he lost. he didn't do anything to stop the riot and he actively added fuel to the fire while the capitol building was being swarmed. but today they really saw the most damns pieces of evidence proving trump knew his election fraud complaims were fake. which is that when he asked his supporters to donate money so that he could fight the fraud in court, he just took the money and ran. >> listen what one of their senior investigators amanda wick said about what they discovered about the way trump and his associates raised money. >> the claims that the election was stolen were so successful president trump and his allies raised $250 million, nearly a hundred million in the first week after the election. on november 9th, 2020,

president trump created a separate entity called the save america pac, most of the money raised went to this inly created pac not to election related litigation. >> and what is important about this, victor, is not just they were peddling the big lie through these email fund raising solicitations, they also weren't using that money for the purpose of trying to truly find election fraud or fight these court battles. that selfed of fraud. the next question is does the department of justice do anything with it? >> wait what? donald trump cons his supporters. that is so predictable. how are you shocked by this. the man is consist ent if nothing else. honestly if you got tricked by trump scamming you. >> maybe your money deserves a better home. and yes, i am victim blaming, i don't care. i will say what impressed me about this thing is how fast it was this time. the second the election ended trump didn't wait around. he knew it was over and he just went full on nigerian prince. yeah, just jumped in, like his

whole scam sounded like an email. like hello, my friend, mi the president of a very valuable country. suddenly i am in need of money to save my people. donate today, and your money will be used for the great fight. i'm definitely not so i can go to dinner with kid rock, send the money please. send it now. all of the money. so that's what we have learned from the january 6th committee hearing so far. but there is plenty more to come. and we will keep you updated on all of the news from there investigation. yeah, from now up until the moment that donald j. trump is put behind bars. i'm kidding, i'm kidding, you know that dude will be president again, this is america. stay tuned, cuz we're going to be joined by ayo edebiri right after the break.

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>> welcome back to the daily show, my guest tonight is actor, writer and comedian ayo edebiri here to talk about starring in the new fx show the bear. >> hi, hello. >> hi. >> i am sydney, i called about the zoo position. >> right, sorry. >> yeah. >> hey. >> thank you. >> that is some serious heat. what is ups, that is in chicago. >> united parcel service. >> shit. >> the one, the mail. >> what did you do for them. >> drove, paid my way through culinary school. >> please welcome ayo edebiri.

>> welcome to the show ayo. >> thank you for having me. >> thank you for being here. i feel like you shouldn't have time to be here with all of the work that you are doing. we just saw a new show of yours that is going to be coming out on fx and like just take me through everything else that are you doing right now, so you are acting in this show. >> yeah. >> and then you write as well. >> yes. >> and then are you a standup comedian. >> yeah. >> and then on top of that i feel like there are two other things i'm forgetting that you are doing. >> big mouth maybe. >> big mouth yes. >> and trying to get sleep, i think. >> how is that going? >> i should call my parents more, that too, yeah. >> all the things i could be doing. >> congratulations t really has been like a wild ride for you, slingshot, and the beginning of your journey is one that intrigues me the most because i read things about people, i do the research and then sometimes it doesn't seem true. >> yeah. >> were you studying to teach? >> yeah, i was studying to be a

teacher. i wanted to be an english teacher. >> okay. >> and then i did my student teaching, and did you know that teenagers are really scary and they will tell you when you're not a good english teacher. >> trevor: wow. >> so i was like hmmmm, maybe change careers. i was doing stand up and stuff at night and all my friends were studying writing and felt like people were doing this, i don't know. and i don't know i just was like i got one life, might as well try. >> trevor: i love the fact that the kids were so terrible, you just changed your perspective on life. they just shifted you in a new direction. >> it was like the opposite of any of those like movies where a teacher is like you know, coming in the classroom and stands on the desk. i stood on the desk and they were like, sit down. please. go home, journal. >> did you tell them you were going? >> no, no, i think if i told 13

year olds my dreams i don't really think that would have gone great, you know. they might have had notes. >> trevor: they are, i mean like the reason behind all of your success though i feel like you should thank them now because they sent you into a very successful career. and are you crushing it at everything. >> the teenagers, made me sad. good job. thanks. >> trevor: so let's talk about the show on fx. it, is it a comedy because there are moments where i feel like it is a drama and moments where i find myself laughing out loud. dramedy. >> write that down, copy write t make money. yeah, i think it is kind of in that dramedy space t is definitely, i mean, i identify as a comedian. i don't know if other people identify me as that but i identify as a comedian. and it felt very funny to like be showing up to work and being

like oh, okay, i'm the most serious person, i'm saying the least funny stuff. >> trevor: that's hilarious. >> time's actually acting, i think. >> trevor: i think it is good, it's funny t is heartfelt. it is a story about, really seems like a rag tag restaurant. >> a deeply motley crue, yeah. >> trevor: and the food, looks s it real food. >> st real food, we were cooking real food, working in a real kitchen. our set designers and production designers are geniuses and they created a real kitchen that felt really small like a real kitchen in a working restaurant would. but they created just a little, enough space for a camera to be able to move through. >> trevor: i like it, it has the feeling of. >> the fire was real, water was real, knives. >> trevor: what was? the fire. >> fire was real. >> trevor: doesn't seem safe. >> i mean hey, oops. >> trevor: the story is really great because it feels like it's

a commentary on the family we have versus the family we choose. we see your characters journey. we see everyone starting to it fall for each other and be in that world. it made me wonder where you feel your biggest family is. like in what industry. some people let's say they are on broadway and act on tv. are you in so many different worlds. i want to know, is it one world where you see like i'm at home, this is me. >> i was like trevor, it's you. >> i would say thank you, thank you, and that's very creepy because we just met, that is what i would say. but i would be flattered. i would be flattered. >> i feel really lucky to be-- i get to learn in so many stages and i feel likes i have a lot of curiosity and i want to do a lot of things and do them well and i feel like the places that have i

been able to work and the people that i have been able to work with, loa lot of them are really great mentors and friends. so i feel like in a lot of things, writing and stand up, and i guess now in acting. like i have people who i-- are so deeply earnest, the stand newspaper me is like-- i don't know, i feel like-- . >> trevor: i think it is good to be earnest. i feel like you should be proud of what you have done, it is not an easy journey, are your parents proud. >> my parents are backstage so i hope that they're proud. they're backstage tapping their toes oh, we got notes. this is weird. >> trevor: so where are your parents from. >> my mom is from barbados and my dad is from where you just did an accent from, he's from nie ger yavment no, he was backstage and he was watching and he was like-- . >> trevor: i will take that. i will take that from a nigerian dad. that is a standing ovation. >> you got an a heh.

>> trevor: i will take that. it has been great meeting you. congratulations on everything you are doing. i think, not just you who identified, everyone who sees you goes you are a comedian, are you funny, are you amazing, thanks for being on the show. >> thanks for having me. >> trevor: i felt at home with you right here, i appreciate it all episodes of fx's the bear will be on hullo june 27th. we'll take a quick break. we'll be right back after this. thank you.

we've been streaming all day from every room. the power and speed of this super-sonic wifi from xfinity is incredible. mom! mass speeds was my idea, remember? get minion net, with speeds of up to one minion bite per hour. [ low screaming ] but that was an epic fail. with xfi we can stream, share, swipe, like... impress your mom with super-sonic wifi. it's unbeatable internet for a more unbeatable gru. i mean, you.

that's our show for tonight, but before we go, before we go, please come to the supporting consider supporting out outan organization that supports lgbtqia youth and their allies and programs and services that these developing young people develop into happy, healthy successful adults, out youth provides programs, training and resources for parents, teachers and community members free of charge, so if you can donate to the link below, until tomorrow, stay safe out there and remember sex in a car is no longer trashy, that san investment. here it is, your moment of zen. >> if you are struggling to cut

back on the coca cola, all the pop, the geniuses at tiktok have yet another hack for you to try. they're calling it the healthy coke. all you got to do is pour balsamic vinegarrette over ice and top it off with sparkling water. there you go, there is your coke, rick, cheesier. what the hell is that? - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪

- ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪ - i don't want to go to this stupid party. - come on, stan, you're gonna have a great time. - no, you guys are gonna have a great time. whenever there's a party, the adults get to hang out and have fun while the kids spend the night locked in the basement eating stale pretzels. well, your mom and i don't get out much, so you'll just have to bear through it. [doorbell rings] - hello, welcome, mkay? this is already a wild party. - yeah, well, sorry we had to bring the kid along. we had nowhere else to put him. - oh, that's okay. i've got a special kids' room down in the basement. - aw! be sure to help yourself to the crab soufflé and the-- juanita. juanita. we need some more finger sandwiches. - i don't want to hang out in the kids' room. i won't know anybody. - well, it'll be good for you to make new friends. you can't just hang out with your buddy kyle all the time. people will think you guys are, you know, funny. now, i bet you'll have a great time. - here we go. it's right in here. - [gasps]

- we'll be upstairs if you need anything, stan. - dad, you can't leave me here. these guys are total melvins. - have fun, stanley. - no, mom, please. they're the geekiest kids at our school. - we'll come get you kids when the meteor shower starts. [doorknob rattling] - cheerio, stan. i do say. it's quite a nice surprise seeing you here. - shut up, pip. - hey, stan. why, i sure am glad you're here 'cause then we'll have even more fun than we was having before. we were having an awfully good time before you showed up, too, however. - butters, is there a way out of here? - nope, no way out, but there ain't nothing upstairs but an old stupid party anyways. it's better down here in the kids' room. this here is dougie. he's not too old, but he sure is a hoot to hang with. he's in first grade, i think. - i like math. - oh, my god. - we were just playing a game called wickershams and decklers. do you want to play? - no. - i'm the head wicker-knicker, and you are all little wickershams. we all sing the merry tune of stratford until i yell "churrah," and then you all fall down laughing, and i join you as i find it funny too. stan, would you be the wickershamble brumble briar?

well, all right, here we go. ♪ whippy-tippy too-too ♪ ♪ tra, la, la, la ♪ all: ♪ whippy-tippy too-too ♪ ♪ tra, la, la, la ♪ ♪ whippy-tippy too-too ♪ ♪ tra, la, la, la ♪ - great party, mr. mackey. mr. hat just grabbed principal victoria's ass. no, mr. hat, you get back here. - anyone for some meteor mai tai punch? it packs quite a wallop. - oh, i'll pass. i don't drink hard alcohol. - come on, loosen up. meteor showers only come once in a great while. - one little drink isn't gonna hurt anything, honey. come on, live a little. - well, it is kind of a special night. i guess i could experiment. - yeah, experiment. all: ♪ whippy-tippy too-too ♪ ♪ tra, la, la, la ♪ - wickersham, tally ho. are you sure you don't want to play, stanley? - yes. - what are you, a sourpuss? - you really ought to play, stan. it's an awfully fun game. i've never been to england, but i'll bet the people there are real nice. are people nice in england, pip? i bet they are, huh? they got those thick noses and all. hey, look at this. - what is it? is it something neat? i wonder what it could be. - it's a box filled with ladies' clothes. - hey, you know what we could do with these lady clothes, huh? why, we could play charlie's angels. - oh, dude, you've got to be kidding me. - oh, yes, let's.

can i be jaclyn smith? can i? - no, i get to be jaclyn smith. see, i thought of charlie's angels, and i get to be jaclyn smith 'cause i thought of it. - oh, this sounds as fun as wickershams and decklers. come on, angels, let's get dressed. which ladies' garments would you like, stan? - dude, i'm not putting on ladies' clothes, and i'm not playing charlie's angels. you guys are melvins, and i'm not one of you. so you go ahead and be melvins and leave me alone. - well, all righty then. - here it is, i just had the hot tub put in last week. - wow, neat. - it looks quite inviting. - yeah, you can get a lot of action when you have a hot tub. - oh, mr. mackey, you nut. - hell, we should get in. - yeah. - sure, go ahead. it's a party, isn't it, mkay. - oh, i'm not hot-tubbing. i have nothing to wear. - that's okay. - no hot tub for me. - well, screw you guys. - i'm getting in for a while too. geronimo. - oh, look at our boys, sheila. it's just like they're in college again. - okay, angels, what's our mission this week? - well, i don't know what our mission is. do you know what our mission is, little first-grade kid? - how should i know? - oh, dear. we're charlie's angels, but we don't have a mission.

- hey, that's because we need bosley. bosley always told the angels what their mission was. remember bosley? why, we need somebody to be bosley. - what? - well, we hate to trouble you, stan, but would you mind terribly being bosley for us? - what do i have to do? - you just got to tell us what our mission is, that's all. that's all bosley does; just give a mission and us angels will accomplish it. - all right, all right. here's your mission. in ten minutes, this room is going to fill up with water and drown everybody. you have to find me a way out of this room, fast. - oh, that's a splendid mission. - well, what are we waiting for? we got to find a way out of this room, by golly, or else we're all gonna get drowned. come on, angels. - which angel am i again? - oh, boy, it's nice to have a night off without the kids, huh? - yeah, i know what you mean. - i love having a family and all. i just miss being able to party-- drinking and socializing, experimenting with all kinds of different things. - well, that's what being young is all about. once you have a family and a career, your experimenting days are over, but tonight is the exception. that's why i'm gonna smoke this cigar only 'cause i've never smoked before. - good idea.

- what haven't you tried that you've always wanted to try? - oh, i don't know. maybe i'll drink a few more beers and see where the party takes me. - yeah. was that your leg? - huh? oh, you mean this? - yeah. - yeah, that was me. - bosley, bosley. - what, pip? - oh, no, no, no, my name is sabrina duncan. remember, we're playing charlie's angels. - what the hell do you want? - well, we've completed our mission. jill found a way upstairs. - he did? - air shaft. - dougie pushed that big box out of the way and found this old ventilation duct. - i reckon it's got to lead somewhere, and it's good 'cause now we won't drown. - so, bosley, what's our next mission? - we're going upstairs. - upstairs? why, there ain't nothing upstairs but adults. why would we want to go upstairs for? - because, you stupid melvins, they have rad food and desserts upstairs. - hey, did you see principal victoria in there? - she looks hot. - she sure does. i wouldn't mind taking that home. - oh, yeah, i'm sure your wife would love that. - i wish. that's the one thing i've always thought of experimenting with, a threesome. - with two girls or two guys? - well, two girls, of course. i mean, with another guy, you know, that'd be--

- you never had a homosexual fantasy? not that i have. - you haven't? - no, i mean-- well, they say everybody has at some point, don't they? - well, i never really wanted to experiment with anything too crazy. you know, maybe just-- i don't know--masturbate in front of another guy. - yeah, well, that's not really gay, is it? - no, no, i don't think so. - well, it is a night for experimenting. - it sure is. - okay, i'll start. - this must be the place. they've got all kinds of crazy things going on in there. - code seven, we believe we've found the compound. request immediate backup. - okay, so just what is going on here, people? - get down. - what? - it's just like we told you, officer. there is a religious cult in there that plans to commit mass suicide when the meteor shower starts. - are you sure? - of course we're sure.