five hollywood movies! - yeah...me too. - ♪ oh, ben you are so perfect ♪ ♪ so spectacularrr in every way ♪ ♪ you bring light into my life, ben ♪ ♪ you almost make me forget all about tacos ♪ ♪ ooh, tacos so good ♪ >> coming to you from new york city, the only city in america, it is "the daily show." tonight, undressing kim kardashian. k-pop shakeup. and davido. this is "the daily show" with trevor noah!

(cheers and applause). >> trevor: what's going on, everybody, welcome to the daily show, i'm trevor noah thank you so much for tuning in, thank you for coming out, thank you for being here. look at you, look at you. look at you. this is it. all right, we've got a great show tonight, take a seat, let's go, we've got a really, really good show, take a seat, take a seat, thank you, thank you, thank you so much, thank you so much, we've got a great show, let's get into it. someone ruined donald trump's birthday, we'll get into that, michael kosta is creating a new k-pop supergroup and kim kardashian has broken the internet and history this time. plus nigerian megastar davido is joining us on the show, maybe will let me finally be a backup dancer on one of his music videos. so let's do this, people, let's jump straight into today's headlines.

>> okay, let's kick things off with the mid terms. as you probably know, right now in america primary season is in full swing. and the primaries ar the elections before the elections that determine what is going to happen in the elections before the main election. anyway, last night four states held their primary elections. and it was actually a good flight for donald jaberwacky trump. you see in south carolina, one of the few republican congressman who voted to impeach trump lost badly after trump campaigned hard against him. yeah. and that is the weird thing about trump. he might not remember how to speak english, but he will never forget anyone who has done him wrong. he has probably got a revenge spread sheet 400 rows deep just sitting there on the computer like insert row, fore mat ep me, formula, mike pence equals not good, print. meanwhile in nevada, an election denier won the republican

nomination for secretary of state, which by the way is the office that certifies the election. yeah. and while that's not great for democracy it is fantastic news for donald trump. because you see if this guy gets the job, that is like having your boy as your parole officer, you know. like nah, nah, don't worry, i will pee in the cup, we can't have you going away, man, we got a party on friday. the only blemish on the night for donald was that one of the candidates he endorgsed in south carolina lost and boy was she sorry. >> another sot carolina race gaining national attention is decidedded, representative nancy mace won against trump endorsed candidate katy arrington, arrington concede endorsing mace and apologizing to former president donald trump. >> and to donald j. trump, sir, i am sorry i couldn't give you the birthday present that i wanted to give to you. but u will always be my number 45, my number 46. >> trevor: you know what,

i-- i don't know why anyone would think trump supporters are a cult. ha ha it is just a normal woman apologizing to trump for losing her election on his birthday. it's not a cult. this is a very normal thing. please forgive plea dear leader, so normal, so normal. by the way, what was all that about you will always be my number 45 and my number 46. cuz i-- i get why she said t i know trump was the 45th president but is she saying he is still the president? because then he wouldn't be the 46th president. he would still be the 45th president. that's confusing. and if i am confused, you best believe donald trump is really confused. best believe. (applause) he probably watching that speech like wait, so i am joe biden? what a twist.

i should call m. night shyamalan. but let's move on to some international news coming out of the united kingdom. america's estranged father. like many countries around the world, the u.k. has been dealing with an influx of refugees over the past few years. and usually, usually when a refugee flees their country they have the right to apply to any nation in the world to take them in. but recently in response to the large number of requests, the u.k. announced they have struck a deal with the east african nation of rwanda to take the refugees that were trying to stay in the u.k yeah. so in a way they did the geo political version of when your crush says no, i'm sorry. but you should totally date my friend. now obviously this arrangement has ruffled a few feathers and before the u.k. could deported its first plane full of refugee, the european court canceled the flight. >> the first flight of a controversial deportation plan by the u.k. was grounded at the 11th hour. the plane was on the tarmac, its

he begin engines had started and the cabin crew was seen boarding when the european court of human rights intervened. >> under the controversial government plan, anyone who arrives in britan illegally this year could be re-- legally could be relocated. once in rwanda they will be a allowed to apply for asylum there but not in britain. prime minister bore is johnson says it is about halting human trafficking. >> we have to interrupt the business plod elf the game. >> human right groups and church leaders criticized the plan as immoral. >> trevor: hmmmm, this is a tough story, yeah, because usually when bore is johnson takes a position, the opposite position is the right one. that's why his hair is always like wherever he goes, i'm going the other way. but if i am going honest, if you ignore bore is, the argument does make sense. many gangs, smugglers and human traffickers have started abusing the refugee crisis to make money

off of desperate migrants, right? and so by doing this, people who are genuinely trying to escape a war zone, they have a safe country to go to. but now the smugglers don't have a business any more. yeah, cuz no one is going to pay you to smuggle them into rwanda. yeah, it's true. if the u.k. wants immigrants to leave, don't deport them, let them marry into the royal family and eventually they'll leave on their own. they get something, they get out. and can i just say as an african, as an african, i take a little bit of offense when human-rights groups in the europe say you cannot send refugees to africa, those are human beings. and who lives in africa? get the [bleep] out of here, man. what does that mean? yo, let me tell you something, i know, i know some parts of africa have it tough but we've also got stirks we've got wi-fi, you know. we've also got racist white

people, you left them behind acting like we doptd got shit. some of these europeans think the only hotel in rwanda is the hotel rwanda. actually, they've got a radisson, yeah, a radisson blu, by the way. there say waffle bar and everything. this is the problem. this is the problem when in is only one well-known movie that takes place in your country, you know strks all people go on, like judging france on ratatouille, not all the restaurants are run by rats. because here rwanda was trying to do something nice and then now they have to hear everyone talk shit about them. imagine if you offered to donate a kidney to someone and that person was like no thank you, i'm going to see if there is a more developed kidney. man, go pee blood then bitch. let's move on to other news, what do you get when the world's of fashion, history and celebrity collide? you get winston churchill wearing kowt our at the top gun premier, are you wrong but fla was a good guess, no, the big

controversy blowing up the interflet is what kim kardashian did with marilyn monroe's dress. >> one of the most iconic gowns in american fashion may now be damaged. a marilyn monroe collector is making the claim after kim kardashian wore a dress belonging to monroe to the met gala last month. the collector says that there are missing crystals an several rip as long the glirp, monroe wore the dress while singing happy birthday to president kennedy in 1962. there is no comment yet from kardashian or riply's believe it or not who lent the dress to kardashian. >> trevor: you know sometimes i feel bad for kim kardashian, when she doesn't wear clothes people are angry, when she does wear clothes people are angry. what is a lady to do. but at the same time kim, what were you doing? the marilyn monroe dress say one of a kind piece of american history, right? one of a kind. that is it the met gala happens every year, people dress like hamburgers, there, you could have worn anything else, because if you are entrusted with a piece of american history, you

better do everything you can to take care of it, everything. i mean just as an example, i recently bought the stove pipe hats that was worn by abraham lincoln, yeah. and the reason i bought it is because it's the perfect nacho bowl. like holds it really well, keeps it at a nice height, you know. but you see, you see, when i'm done eating nachos out of it, i always make sure to rinse it out afterwards because that is being respectful. yeah. the man freed the slaves, come on, y'all. so look, kim obviously took a big risk with a delicate ard fact and it back fired. but you know who should take most of the blame here, riplies, they're the ones who loaned the dress to kim. and first of all, why does riply's believe it or not even own this dress in the first place? a woman wore a dress, yeah, i believe that. i think i could wrap my head around that concept.

but because riply's owns the dress they're cha in charge of preserving it so if they told her it was okay to wear it, that is on them, you know what i am saying, that is on them, i don't know all the museum rule what you can use, what you can't do with historical artifacts, i don't flow any of that stuvment i only learned from the stormy, if the louv call immediate and said i could kiss the mondaya lisa for a selfie, i would do it and i would use tongue. so look, a lot of people are at fault here, a lot of people made mistakes, to make up for it i think riply should have to sell the dress to a real museum that would take care of it properly, and kim kardashian has to show up to next year's met gala wearing some of of the other historic items from the riply's collection. yeah. she still pulls it off. i don't know how she does it finally like many tech companies riding high during the pandemic, netflix is now no longer having a good time. their share price dropped 75%.

they lost 200,000 subscribers, and it turns out the new comedy special they bought from dave chappelle was actually cake. so other than laying off employees and raising prices, netflix has to figure out another way to convince us to come back and chill. and so that is why they decided to pin their hopes on a tried and true franchise. >> this morning netflix says it is turning its smash hit squid game into a reality show competition series. >> netflix released a promo announcing casting for squid game the challenge. the new show is set to offer the largest prize in reality tv history, a whopping $4.56 million dollars, quid game is of course a south korean series on netflix. the reality show is looking for english language speakers from any part of the world. netflix has not announced they they plan to adapt the game where contestants compete in a series of school yard games. >> trevor: wait, wait, what?

wait, wait, no, no, no. if you are going to make squid games and nobody dies, than what is the point? so now i'm just watching people play red light, green light and tug of war? what am i, a camp counselor? shit, i didn't even watch the kids when i was camp counselor. and don't worry, most of them didn't drown. i'm just saying this show was already about a game slow, so you don't need to make a game show about it you know, if you want to do this, you should take a normal netflix show and turn that into a game show. that makes more sense like stranger things, yeah, could you put a bunch of contestants in a high school and see how long it takes until someone notices they are actually 25 years old. either way i'm just saying they better find something more interesting than cutting out cooking, one of the challenges should be you have to try to find the good shows on netflix, let me tell you no half the people are dying in that game. they're just like which menu, that is it for the headlines,

let's move on to something that em lovings, time to check in on today's lotto numbers with dulce sloan, everybody.. >> ha ha. >> trevor: what is going on, dulce, how are you doing hello. hello, friends. now listen, i'm just here to do this here lotto, okay. now i know you have had other cor responsibilities out here i i won't name names they don't want to give you the traffic or the weather, i have noticed. >> and i have bills to pay so i have no problem doing my job. so. >> trevor: all right, let's do t gets into the lotto. >> get into the lotto. now i know that there is no cash prize. >> trevor: let's not talk about that, let's just do the lotto. >> let's jump into it. >> okay, you right, you right. >> seven. >> trevor: okay.

>> four. >> trevor: weights, wait, wait, wait, wait. >> what. >> trevor: are you just making up numbers and they are popping up on the screen. >> no, numbers have existed for thousands of years, i didn't make these up. >> trevor: that is not what i am saying. are you just saying a number and then it pops up. where is the machine. >> you disonlt need a machine, why are you just trying to replace me, is this a self checkout situation. >> trevor: i'm in the trying to replace you, i'm just saying where is the machine that chooses the numbersness with oh, i can choose numbers, i'm a college graduate, you just want random numbers,. >> trevor: yeah t has to be random. >> can i gif you a random number, here, say a number. >> trevor: okay, 36. >> wrong, 19. >> trevor: no. >> by its way, listen, i was hearing what you were saying before, my girl, kimberly noel kardashian. why they keep coming for my girlfriend. why they keep coming for my girl. are we supposed to be mad that

she wore this dress and it might have rip aid little bit and some is he quinns came off? have you all worn a dress with is he quinns fix start with a dress in is he quinns, you don't end in a dress with is he quins, you never been to a soiree, obviously. that is how these dresses work. okay. that is not her fault. plus why would you give her this dress? is you know that dress didn't fight. we all know that dress didn't fight. and why do we know that dress didn't fit because usually when you see kim kardashian at the met gala she is giving you body, all of it. she had on a jacket around her waste the whole time. that dress didn't zip shut. exactly. you have never bln in a dress sna couldn't zip shut, you have a shawl on all night. oh, it's never been 11 p.m.

night before prom well this dress don't fit, shawl. it took a 2022 ass and put it in a 19 '60s dress. you took a white lady dress and put a black lady ass in it. of course it was not going to work. >> trevor: yeah, but i think the bigger argument people were having is they are saying that dress say historical artifact that is why kim shouldn't have worn it, i think that is what they are saying. >> oh, okay, well listen, if you let me get ahold of a historical ard fact like gornlings washington's wing, i am straightening that bitch and i'm in every pub in atlanta. >> trevor: are you wearing it. >> they have been accusing us for years of having horse hair and now i bought the real horse hair and i'm out here, and i got thomas jefferson's wig out here too. >> trevor: all right, dulce, let's get the rest of the loto numbers please. >> oh, yeah.

38. 27. congratulations, mommy, you just won lotto. >> trevor: no, no, family cannot whip, family cannot win, dulce sloan, but family cannot win, don't go away because after the break michael kosta. starting a k-pop group, you don't want to miss it, no, no don't want to miss it, no, no family, no family can win there are many names for enthusiast but there's only one way to become one... by going all in. the lexus is. all in on the sports sedan. ♪♪ ♪ i want to rock and roll all night ♪ ♪ and party every day. ♪ ♪ i want to rock and roll all night ♪ applebee's late night. because half off is just more fun. now that's eatin' good in the neighborhood.

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(applause). >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. you know, even if you have been living under a rock for the past ten years, you still know who bts, superstar k-pop group that has taken its world by storm but after selling tours, grammy nominations and being valued at 100 million dollars, the band has decided it's time to take a break. >> the wildly popular k-pop group bts announcing they are taking some time apart saying they've hit a rough patch and want to work on solo projects. >> armies on twitter overwhelmingly supportive of the boy's decision to rest and rekal blait-- recalibrate jung-kook saying to fans we are each going to take time to have fun and experience a lot of things, we promise we will return some day even more mature than we are now. >> i'm not crying, you guys are

crying. this is terrible. i feel like people would rather deal with their parents splitting up than bts. who do i want to live with after the divorce. jung-kook, mom, i want to live at jung-kook's house. now don't worry, people, bts is not over forever. this is not internet explorer, they will be coming back. but with bts on hiatus that does mean that there is room for someone else to plof up in the k-pop game. and our very own michael kosta is just the man to try in his brand new segment costa can do it. >> jobs, they are the best way to avoid your family all day, there are all kiensd of jobs in this world and i'm going to try them all because i'm michael kosta and there is k so sta can do it. k-pop t is the korean music sensation sweeps the globe. these are some very talented entertainers. they have to sing, they have to dance, they even have to learn korean, a tough job but you know what, tough jobs are what kosta does. let's dance.

hit t like this. >> i'm here with k-pop superband p1 harmony, they are going to teach me a thing or two and i may even teach them a thing or two. fellas, let's get to work, i'm ready. >> who are you. >> michael kosta, this is my segment called kosta can do t i'm ready to be a k-pop star, do it like this, right? you see what i am saying. >> this is definitely not going to happen. >> not with us at least. >> this. >> we don't even know who you are. you just showed up here. >> you don't know who i am. >> kosta can do t it's not like i am just a joe schmow, i know how to move. >> joe schmow is like an average dude, i'm not average, i'm exceptional. >> please, that would be great. be a star. just like you. >> appreciate it.

>> the 7th member. >> (speaking korean). >> okay, fine so basically he said that you make them very sad and that you should leave. >> yeah, sad. >> all right, so i guess i'm not going to be a k-pop star but p1 harmony still my boys, i got mad love. >> you have to practice. >> i'm sorry. (applause) >> i guess-- don't go away, davido is joining us right after the break. the break. we'll be right back. i'll take celebrity endorsements

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(applause). >> trevor: welcome backs to daily show, my guest tonight is nigerian american artist and producer davido. he is here to talk about his u.s. summer tour and his new single stand strong. please welcome davido! >> thank you, thank you what's up. >> welcome back. last time we were together you were, with me like a a tiny lite room. >> no crowd. >> what's up, what's up, what's up. (applause) >> i was like find finally people. >> trevor: people, yeah, you were celebrating people as well. i think since i have seen you, what you, you went and sold out the 02 arena together. congratulations on that. you are back on the road.

>> my favorite, my favorite part of being an artist musician has always been performing, being on the road. >> yeah. >> and for that to be taken away from me, it was really, really sad but we're theap that everything is getting back to normal. >> slowly but surely. >> we can do our full capacity shows, we are can have a beautiful crowd like this. >> trevor: was there anything weird that happened to you, i know a lot of performers when they came back, it was like a shock for them, like some athletes who talk about how they weren't used to a crowd cheering, some people would talk, like did you have anything like that? >> yes. especially like i was out of the uae, right. and then obviously i am used to having thousands of thousands of people in the crowd. and then they booked us for a show but the restriction is that they can be at the show but they have to be like at the table but they can't stand up. and most of my songs are dancing songs. so i remember and guess what, i

remember so i performing and it's like they want to get up. >> some like i am like yo, this is so boring so i went on the table and i'm telling everybody, stand up. they're like-- is so i remember after the show i got in trouble with the promoter got in trouble. not meant to get that close but performing, it gets, with the crowd, it gives the artist the energy. >> trevor: it gives you the life. >> but then this time, i-- . >> trevor: everybody stood up. we're going to stand up, we're going toik make up for it by the way, happy belated birthday. >> you turn 29. >> in november. >> trevor: this is one the craziest and most magical things, i know you started this as a joke but for your birthday you posted your ven mow social media. >> yes. let mow tell you what. >> trevor: tell me what happened.

>> so-- . >> trevor: i will tell you the story and you tell me what happened. the story was davido posted his venmo to social media and was like everybody give me mup for my birthday, right. and then people sent half a million dollars, yeah. so and then were you like cuz i want to rescue mei rolls-royce. >> i bought a rolls-royce. >> let's start the story. >> so it was two things, i really wanted this watch for my birthday and i wanted my management and personal team to get it. >> trevor: okay. >> so it started off as david want this watch, let's put in money. and by mice mistake my manager sends one of the messages to me, i am like what watch, so that was it. then after yo actually we should, cuz i'm the one that sawls giving. >> trevor: right. >> i am never the one to receive presents, i'm the one giving presents, the one always making sure that everybody is okay. >> trevor: right. >> i am like this year i'm putting myself first. so i was like, me and my friend

were in the balcony, yo, should i put out my account f it gets lit. >> he said, i said i have an account i don't really use and the balance on that account was like 0. i'm telling you, 0. so i tweeted, i just hit the rolls-royce tonight, the price of the car is basically the same when you are trying to clear it. >> trevor: because it doubles. >> just like-- if you buy a car, to get it off the ship back home you are paying another 400,000, because of the taxes. >> trevor: its import taxes. >> so i'm like i better have my fans give me money and get the car out. so i put it up. >> trevor: you have to free the rolls-royce, obviously. >> yeah. i put it up. two minutes, equivalent, will i will say the amount in dollars $20,000 in severn minutes, i'm like-- and then i went to take a

shower, i come back it is like 70 thousand. i'm like so you know what i started doingk i started calling people like famous people like hey, come on, you know i gave you a hit song last year, come on. come on. i am like everybody, i'm like everybody that i have helped, everybody i have helped whichever way, i-- everybody that i have helped in anyway just donate money and it came up to, i was scared t came up to 600,000. >> trevor: 600,000. >> 600,000. and at this point i'm like, can i keep this? like so much is going on in the world. you know what i am saying. like i can't be that-- i just felt, i spoke to my dad, like my mentor, hey son, you know you can't keep that money. i'm like, we think the same, like i was already thinking that, you know what mi saying, because people, even though

people were like no, a lot of people was like no, keep t you have done so much for the community. >> trevor: can i tell you t is funny you say that because one thing i learned around the world, nigerians love giving people money especially when they have done something they like. i remember i did a comedy show once in south african-- africa, after the show a nigerian came up trevor, that was one the funniest show have i ever seen. he shook my hand as continued was a wad of cash and i was like no, what is happening here. he is like that is for a good shoarks i am like they pay me already. >> he is like no, no no. >> so what we dismplets you know, i woke up. next dairks and i just am-- blessed with so much. we decided as a family and team, to donate all 600,000 to orphanagesks around nigeria. >> trevor: my man, my man. (applause) i love that. >> yeah. so we-- just for accountability. >> trevor: yeah. >> just for accountability, it

took like two months. we got to know which orphanage was real, i sent people to every orphanage. >> trevor: to make sure there was one there. >> but it was taking like two months. you should have kept it, now, because after that i bought two more cars. >> trevor: and people are like those are the cars. >> a bought a lamborghini, that was just my money, people are like that is it. after two months i did a spread sheet and everything was accountability. every wire, every money, went to that cause. i'm happy in my lifetime i got to do that. >> trevor: it's fun, man, i like that a joke that turned into something big and you brought it back around. and i like there are some fans who will see you driving your car and be like those are my wheels. >> no, listen, listen. no,-- that is not your car, that

sour car, that is our car. >> >> trevor: let's talk about the tour. like you said, you told me about the title. su have really been an artist who las gone from just making hit songs that are fun to hit songs that are fun and also have a meaning. your new single stand strong inspired people t becomes an anthem. this happened in nigeria. why stand strong and why the new tour name because i like this idea that you have in and around music. >> let me start withstand strong obviously people know me, i make, my music makes people smile and move, you know what i am saying, by this time i was really inspired. a couple of years ago, kayne west, and the sunday service choir, he did a re/max for my phone, i love you, i love you, there is-- i love you. >> see there. >> i didn't know that was a remix. >> that was the remix since then i wanted the opportunity to gave a performance and kayne west was

doing his listening party in atlanta where he had all that. and i met jason, the choir, flew out, how can we connect this african mus wick this beautiful thing you are doing. and also i wanted to challenge myself, you know, to make different kind of music. we came together. >> trevor: it's beautiful, man, it's beautiful, the tour has a great message. you will be in brooklyn, boston, you have the tour dates online, congratulations on everything. >> thank you. >> trevor: good seeing you again. >> i want to say this. >> trevor: with the tour. >> so with the tour not only bringing myself to america, also bringing everything else, african food, african fashion, this was done by an african designer, on the tour you are only wearing african designers. >> i am only wearing african designer, only eating african

food, african-- so it is not just only me coming together. >> wow. >> man, that say beautiful message. >> thank you. >> and yet you brought me no-- to the show. >> we will talk about it next time, talk about next time, good seeing you, congratulations, an amazing tour, tickets we rise by lifting others, that is the tour, make sure to get it. we'll take a break. back after this. #r.

>> that's our show for tonight but before we go, before we go, please consider supporting out youth, out youth is an organization that serves central texas lgbtqia plus youth and their allies with programs and services to ensure that these promising yowpg people develop into happy, healthy successful adults. out youth host a variety of programs and provide training and resources for parents, teachers and community members free of charge so if you can, please donate at the link below. until tomorrow, stay safe out there and remember, if the dress don't fit, it's going to split. now here it is, your moment of

zen. >> now we need to open our browser. >> what say browser. >> it is an application that allows you to access all of the different information on the internet. >> cool. >> microsoft internet explore shall-- explorer came with our computers but you can download it by typing www.microsoft.com. >> what does download mean? ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ ♪ going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ ♪ headed on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ ♪ [mumbling] ♪ ♪ so come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪ [bell ringing]

- well, here we are, dude, the first day of fourth grade. - yeah, no more getting pushed around by fourth graders. - get out my way, you little dorks! - hey, we're fourth graders now too. - yeah, but now we're fifth graders, you stupid fourth grader, so move it! - oh, gay, dude! - dude, we gotta find some third graders to beat up. hey, come here. - what? - what grade are you going into? - third. - stupid third grader! - yeah, get out of here! - ow. - there, that's better. - y'know, i heard our fourth-grade teacher is some new lady from denver. - denver? - dude, we could walk all over her. - he's right, we have to take a hard stance right now and establish that we're the dominant ones in this relationship. - all right, hey, listen up everybody. we need to stand up to this new teacher and insert ourselves. let's all do something radical. - like what? - like, how about right at 8:35 we all jump on our desk, pull down our pants and shout "kiss my ass" all together. - [all] yeah! - that's perfect. - but when we pull our pants down should we stand frontways or back? i mean, do we show her our behinds or our wieners? - i think showing our asses will be quite sufficient, butters. - maybe we could stand like this, with our wieners poking through the back of our legs, y'know,

give her a nice fruit bowl. - yeah, or we could just show our asses. - okay, so it's decided, when the clock hits 8:35 we all stand up on our desks, pull down our pants and yell "kiss my ass". - together we are strong. [all] yeah! - hey, timmy might need some help pulling his pants down. - we got you covered, timmy. - timmy! - whoa, dude, this is our new classroom? - look at all this stuff. - hey, what the hell's with these little half desks? - dude, look at the walls. everything is written in some strange foreign language. - all right, children, quiet down. welcome to the fourth grade. - holy god, dude. - her titties are [bleep] huge! - my name is ms. choks-on-dik. - more like, "ms. makes-me-sick". [snickering] - playtime is over, children, do you understand me? i don't know how your last teacher behaved, but this is the fourth grade! and it is time to go to work! - heh heh heh-- kiss my ass! oh, weak, you guys, seriously weak. - well, young man, i hope you have a good explanation for this. - oh, i'm sure i do.

- this is the fourth grade, you need to grow up! - i'm trying. - now get back to your desk and write a thousand-word essay on why you feel you need to disrupt my class. - fantastic, guys. - now, let us begin our first day exam. - uh! - silence! - what a bitch! - and did you see her lazy eye? you can't even tell who she's looking at. - you guys are all such pussies! - i can't take it, man! writing in cursive, fractions-- i can't do it! - this is it, the end of innocence. this is the loss of that playful youth all our parents warned us about. - i just didn't think it would come so soon. - yeah, only now do we realize how much we all took the third grade for granted. - huh? - everything was great in third grade, and now that it's all over we're starting to see just how special it was. [touching piano music] ♪ remember how it used to be in the third grade ♪ ♪ we used to laugh and play and cherish each day ♪ ♪ in the third grade ♪ ♪ we learned wondrous things from our teacher so nice ♪ ♪ sat on marshmallow desks with teddy-bear smiles ♪ ♪ the world seemed to all make sense ♪ ♪ but that sense seems to slowly fade ♪