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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  July 19, 2022 1:14am-2:00am PDT

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>> trevor: what's going on, everybody, welcome to the daily show, i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in. thank you for coming out. look at this. wow. oh wow. thank you, take a seat, everybody. thank you so much. this is going to be fun. this is going to be fun. take a seat, we have got a great show for you tonight. europe is feeling the heat, dulce sloan tries to make you late for work and president joe biden is hoping to fist his way to a higher approval rating. let's do this, people, let's jump straight into today's headlines. (applause) okay. let's kick things off with europe. the continent with a long history of white on white-- unfortunately europe is not having a good time right now, there is still a war in ukraine which is also causing an energy cries i italy's prime minister has called it quits. britan has lost its leadership
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which means now they have to find another to turn a dand elyon into a prime minister. plus for the first time ever the euro has become less valuable than the dollar. yeah. and with the economy struggling, european workers are now limited to only 45 weeks of vacation a year. and as if all of that wasn't enough now europe is dealing which hot girl summer that nobody asked for. >> the triple digit temperatures that have sparked forest fires and drought conditions here in the states are also taking hold in europe. >> this morning people were being warned to take cover as deadly heat sweeps across britan. the national weather service issuing the first ever extreme heat warning. with forecast highs of 105 today and tomorrow. hotter than the sahara desert and deli. the scorching heat is bearing down on all of western europe fueling out of control wildfires. >> in southwest france planes dumped yet more water over wildfires that have burned an area bigger than 20,000 football
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fields. >> the heat is causing traffic, london's airport and air base both being forced to close because the runways were melting. >> trevor: mama mia. sacre bleu, bloody ballsweat. >> the runways in europe are melting, did you hear that. the run wrays are plelting. you never want to land a plane and here it goa ah, ah. >> and what do you do in that situation? what do you do, if the runway is melted where is the plane going to land, in the baby's mouth, that's right, open up, baby, please baby, the plane needs you, baby. ahhh. you know, this is one of those situations where you really appreciate how calm a pilot is, you know. cuz like even when a runway is melting i bet the pilot is going to be like ladies and gentlemen, it seems like the airport is melting in the ground so i am going to suggest everyone get back to their seerkts hold on, now it seem ace portal to the
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underworld is being opened and we are slowly being sucked by the devil himself so i will go ahead and turn on the fasten seat belt. sit back, relax and enjoy the flight. but yes europe is scorching hot and it is so bad that there were photos going around of people pouring water in the mouths of the guards at buckingham palace, yeah. i mean if i had to make a suggestion maybe the first thing i would do in a heat wave is lose the ten foot hat cover entirely in fur. or at least fill it with ice t looks like it would be a good cooler, you know? and remember, you might be hearing those temperatures in america going oh, 100, that doesn't sound bad but this heat wave is especially bad for europe because europeans are not prepared for this kind of heat. they don't use air conditioner ms. most parts of europe. they don't even put ice in their drinks and they can get sunburned from like a camera flash, ah, ah, ah, so how do i look?
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so once again, all over the world we're experiencing record temperatures, wildfires and draughts. and i mean i know it can't be climb at change because fox says that's not real. so probably it is pronouns? pronouns? i heard those were pretty bad. let's move on from europe to another place that is feeling the heat, the white house. after being unabled to accomplish anything, that joe biden campaigned on the president's approval rating is now hovering somewhere between long covid and uvalde police departments an making matters worse for him is a run-away inflation, right. especially when it comes to gas prices. the prices of gas are so high that these days driving is the entire date, you know, just like he really spoiled me last night, we drove all the way from my house to the end of the block. he is so romantic. but here is the thing, until gas prices improve, neither will joe
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biden's approval rating, right, which is why overt weekend he was in saudi arabia making nice with a frienemy who just happens to own a lot of oil. >> it was the fist bump seen around the world, the president about saudi crown princes bin smaj-- it is the image the saudis had hoped for and the white house had hoped to avoid. >> biden's doctors reportedly disallowed handshakes due to covid but conveniently also helped the president avoid a photo op of shaking the hand of the crown prince. >> on the fist bump. >> why don't you talk about something that matters. >> trevor: yeah, yeah. stop asking him about the fist bump, ask him about the looming recession, no, just ask me about the fist bump, ask me about the fist bump. >> america obsesses about these thingsk don't look too friendly strks all so funny how president biden thought it would be better to fist bump mohammed bin salman
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because that seements less friendly than a handshake that is the whitest decision of all time. no, cuz it is the opposite. handshakes are the most formal way to meet someone, even your enemy, you can be like hello. but fist bumps is almost like ehh, what's up, killer, i see you, i see you, man. (applause) i see you player. you know what i really think happened, i think joe biden's team briefed him and they were like mr. president, in saudi arabia, you make them mad, you have-- they will chop off your hand so hide your finger, get in, quick, in and out, in and out, god speed, mr. president. >> you know what biend should have done if he didn't want controversy in this, he should have gone in for the shanked shake and then given him the, psych. do that mof. no comeback for, that devastating. if he did that mbs would have been like oh, just take all the oil and g don't tell my friends, don't tell my friends. and if you are wondering why
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this situation is so awkward who cares he fist bumped, he milt him, why is it so bad stvment because back during the presidential campaign biden was saying things like this. >> khashoggi was in fact murdered and dismembered and i believe in the order of the crown prince there is very little social redeeming value of the, in the president government in saudi arabia. we were going to in fact make them pay the price and make them in fact the pariah that they are. >> awkward. >> yeah cuz how do you go from that to flying across the world to meet the guy in his palace. biden must have been a little nervous, to meet the guy and he said all these things about him, called him a murderer, now are you in his palace, just going to be walking in like oh, you watch fox news, i just read the tell prompter, i don't even know where i am most of the time, that wasn't me. and unfortunately for president biden the bad news didn't stop at his presidential pound, because when biden got back to the u.s. he had to deal with
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another more powerful dictatedder joe blanchein. west virginia democrat and show the real president of the united states because you see biden has spent the last two years trying to get joe manchin to vote for his build back better bill but manchin has spent the last two years saying no. he has been giving a variety of answers, you know, i don't want to riksz inflation, i don't want to end offshore dialing, i'm gemini and mercury is in retrograde, now is not a good time to make big decisions. >> after a lot of back and forth manchin said look, i will do a much signal erbil that only has some health insurance expansion, you can raise taxes on corporations to pay for it so democrats took out everything manchin didn't want and came back last week with a bill that only has what he asked for to which joe manchin said, no. >> more now from capitol hill where democrats are extremely upset with senator joe manchin after he effectively tor tor pedestrian owed their hopes of
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acting on climate change after manchin told democratic leadership he is not willing to back maker climate and tax provisions in president biden's agenda. senator bernie sanders was especially upset over the weekend, suggesting manchin never negotiated in good faith in the first place. >> people like manchin to a lesser degree are intentionally sabotaging the president's agenda, what the american people want, what a majority of us in the democratic caw kution want. nothing new about this. >> trevor: yep, bernie is pissed off. i haven't seen him this pissed since someone gave 1 percent milk. >> i stand for the fat milk excluded, no more with the 1 percent. and i get it. i get why democrats are frustrated with joe manchin because he is on your team. is he wearing your jersey but every time he gets the ball he dunks on you. but if expwroa manchin doesn't believe in these, the least he
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could do is say so up front instead of wasting everybody's time and jerking the democrats around for a year pretending there was something they could do to win him over. you know what this reminded me of, the time i tried to take i girl to the prom, and she was like first you have to buy me flowers, then you have to rent a limo, then we have to go somewhere nice for dinner and i did all of that and the night came and she was like i don't think as your history teacher it is appropriate for me to go to the prom with you. why didn't you say that at the beginning, mrs. jenkins because now i'm broke and i don't have a date. why is she so big. she was a very interesting person. all right, finally, some news from the world of automobiles. trurch-- every year, car companies compete to see who can offer the most exciting new options. you know like voice-activated controls or augmented reality
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wind shields or trunks that have got a lot more junk. you are looking good, suzanne, i see you, i see you. but the latest innovation isn't a new feature, no t is a new way to pay for what you get. >> a new kind of subscription could be making its way to your bank statement, bmw says it will start charging a monthly fee for heated seats. >> st costs about $12 a month and would allow the car makers to activate the heating coils already built into the seatment you can purchase the heated seat when you buy the car but for those who didn't you can temporarily try them out on a cold day with a subscription. they are considering a subscription service for heated steering wheels. >> trevor: hmmmm, interesting. bmw is going to let people sub scrib for certain features in the car like heated seats. yeah so instead of just buying it, you pay month to month. which i will be honest sounds great because i don't need heated seats in the summer so why am i paying, they should do this for every feature, the
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radio, its windshield wipers, yeah, the horn. i don't need the horn all the time, i want to subscribe, if i get give me three, give me three, load it up, give me three. i will light his ass up. but there say down sierksd you realize there say downside, car manufacturers are joings the subscription model and we know how it goes, first you buy things, su subscribe and how it ends t always ends with ads, always, so only a matter of time before you buy a bmw and you have to listen a mattress ad every time you start the car. >> the kill certificate coming, let's get out of here. >> are you looking for a new mattress. >> aahh. tap, tap, tap, tap, tap. soo look, car manufacturers want subscription plan, that is frien. you know, pay for the parts of the car that you want when you use it, i think that actually works, all snee you better be warned, if you forget to renew the wrong subscription, that
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shit could end in tears. oh, oh, shit i knew i should have renewed the brakes subscription. all right, you got me bmw. one more month, one more month. wait, 7.99 for one month and then 50 for-- is that cheaper? wait a minute, 7 times 12, that equals t is going to be-- oh! (applause) i'm fine. i'm fine. i made it i'm fine. all right, that's it for the headlines but before we go to a quick break let's check in on the stock market with our finance expert michael kosta, everybody. (cheers and applause) >> you okay? >> so what is happening in the market. >> the market, you okay, first of all, that was a tumble. >> yeah, that wasn't real. >> oh t wasn't real, oh.
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>> great. i'm crushing the market, dude, crushing, crushing. >> trevor: still? >> still crushk and i have a hot tip, pay attention. let's get into this. first of all, that bmw, the suk description for the warm seats. >> yeah. >> i mean i'm over all these subscriptions, okay. i was trying to print something recently and my printer was like do you want to sign for an inq subscription y would i give me credit card to a printing company when can i do my personal printing here at work, okay, i mean-- trevor, i print manual ensiek pedestriania, health records, thousands of pages, you know. i print so much it is easier for me to take one of the work printers home with me, and now i print from work at home. can i print anything you want. you just let me know, i have a printer for you. >> i will. >> i got a hot tip too. don't forget, a hot tip. let's get to this. >> i will shoi, you know what that, european health wave, that-- that is hot. that is hot. i was just in ireland for a
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couple of days. it's hot, it's hot. and they don't handle the heat well there, okay. how are you going to cool off, drink a look warm again is and have piping hot shepherds pie, you know what i mean, this givee is so refreshing, you know? it is hot and inn europe and with the euro now, when are you in europe, are you hot and you're broke. i was thinking i haven't been this hot and broke since i was 18, living in l.a., doing shirtless auditions for independent films that never got made. the director said that they are caught up in editing but it's been about 20 years, trevor, so i got to a hot tip, don't forget. >> i won't forget. >> let's break down this euro chart, this thing looks like you are skiing down the swiss alls, am i right? i know that because thanks to how low the youro is i can afford to now ski down the swiss alls, this is great news for all
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of us. it is. europe, europe is now cheap for us in meancht think about it, americans love going to mexico because it is so cheap. what we didn't realize was this whole previous time, america was mexico to europe, right? but now that is swapped. europe is our mexico, and we got mexico, right? we have two mexicos. no other country in its world has two mexicos, think about that. now who i like about this is this is dropped the european's kokiness a little bit, you know. some french oh, you americans, are you so overweight and i'm thinking maybe we are overweight because maybe we just stuffed our pockets with our currency, right, and it's weighing us down. i promise you a hot tip. >> you did.
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>> hot tip, in europe you don't tip, right, and it is hot there. >> trevor: i wonder how many people-- michael kosta, when we come back, hitting the streets and hitting them hard, don't go away. like any family,
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>> welcome back to the daily show. you know, with so much important news out there these days, so i ask dulce sloan to get out on the streets and talk to people about their opinions about issues. but dulce just does what she wants, so instead, she came back with this. >> hello friends, now usually when i'm out and about on the streets of my favorite city in the world, i'm asking hard hitting questions about the issues of the day but not today. i'm out at the rat factory trying to ask new yorkers one important question, can i make you late for work. >> i just need to-- find people with a job. >> can i make you late for work? >> no, hello young man, mi trying to figure out-- wait, what do you do? >> well, i'm traveling. >> so you are on a tour, got it young man, young man, can i talk to you. >> yeah. >> okay.
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now where are you going downtown, soho. >> going to work. >> heading to work. >> where do you work. >> a small startup. >> what the [bleep] people keep telling them they work at startup what are you starting, what is up. what is going on. >> you ever seen subscribe and save at a store online, we make the subscribing and save. >> that is a job. >> that is a job. i'm out here standing in the son like my ancestors and this little boy is making click buttons on a damn internet, that is what you do. >> that is what i do. >> so i need to help, one of my friends is having a birthday party. >> okay. >> and what i need is, i found this play list, i thought it was colorful but i did not know if they would like it, so i would like to ask you to try said cupcake, you work out, you are fine. >> i bought them from a legitimate source, it is nut free so if you have an allergy, do not put your food on the floor, give knee that bag, what is wrong with you, you will
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catch hepatitis 12. >> i don't usually eat dairy. >> is it dairy. >> i'm not allergic, do you want me to eat part of it, the whole thing. >> taste t boy. >> you can taste the colors. >> i don't know what i am tasting. >> oh no, so you are not enjoying it. >> no. >> did you really buy these, you paid someone money for them. >> not my money, comedy central's money. >> so are you not a fan of these. >> i'm not-- i would like eat it if i was bore forced. >> what did do i with this. >> throw it in the trash can right there if you don't like it, so i have one last question for you young man, i did make you late for work? >> yes. >> yes! >> i was already late for work when i came out of the subway. >> you know, obviously i appreciate that. can i make you late-- you didn't have to do that, that was rude. ox cues me? yeah, yeah, hello? >> hi. >> y'all look like students,
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y'all ain't got no job. >> no, we don't have jobs. >> cuz i'm trying to do can i make you late for work. are you going to school. >> yeah. >> make you late for school. >> we are actually in a class, doing an assignment right now, a field trip. >> i'm in school, i didn't sign up for this. >> hello. sis, yes, okay. first of all, the nails, i called because of the nails, i appreciated, the moment. >> love it. >> so cute. >> thank you, thank you. we dipped or acrylic. >> these are. >> who. >> what do you do. >> i am a political organizer for a labor union. we organize building service workers. >> so people who clean the buildings. >> people who clean the building, secure the buildingsk people who work at airports, people who work in schools. >> okay. >> we handle all of it.
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>> i'm also in a union, i'm in tv but we have to be in unions. >> one quick second. all right. a little signing. >> can we get my-- i know are you probably-- are you late, do you mind? for my people. >> a little souvenir, if is on my face, on your face, we are still in a. >> a pandora box n a popeye, we are in a panda express. now just for, talk about them, the question. did i make you late for work? >> you made me later! okay. oh, oh, sir, sir, one moment please. just a quick question. now you strike me as someone who is know to have a signature meal
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when you have a dinner party. >> yeah, have i a couple. >> what is like your number one go-to when are you going to have folks over. >> how about my favorite salsa. >> a salsa, i'm here for a salsa. what kind of salsa are we talk beings. >> salsa with jalapeno, tomato and-- cilantro and onion, green onion. >> this is going to make me late to work. >> never mind. >> can i make you late for. >> dulce sloan making people late to work. bye. >> dulce sloan everybody, stay tuned because when we come back we'll be talking about wnba star britney -- brittney grien whroar is being detained are you were aa for over a month now. so don't go away. is
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. >> trevor: welcome back to the daily show, five months ago wnba star brittney griner was detained by the russian government while visiting russia to play with the local basketball team. we're joined by terri jackson executive director of the union representing wnba players to discuss where the situation currently stands and where we hope to go from here, terri jackson, welcome to the daily show. >> thank you trevor. >> trevor: so i think i'm going to start with the question that really sets up the whole, you know not even discussion but the situation, some people have seen pieces of the story, brittney griner detained in russia. some say it was false accusation, some say it was because of prescription, how did the story start to get everybody on the same page. >> our very own brittney griner, bg was returning back to russia i think everybody saw that clip
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of her in the airport, at some point there was a search of her belongings. and what we learned thereafter was that she was detained. she was returning back to russia to go play with her team that she has played with for several years and won greats chichs for them. so she didn't make it back to the team. she was detained and let's just stop right there and just think about what that means to be an american over in russia to be learning about this process in real time. and coming forward and making the statements that she made. we're just hoping and praying that the judge, the court extends her great compassion and great mercy because that was so incredibly brave to do. but again, reading the cases, to
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the record and hopefully this process, again, i don't completely understand it but hopefully this process will continue to moch forward to a coon cleution. >> trevor: am i may interrupt you there, that has been one of the more confusing aspects of the story. initially when it kicked off many people were encouraged not to weigh in on line, not to bring it to the president's attention, not to make it an issue. because people felt like this may hamper her de thens in russia. because in russia it is different stvment not really a trial the way americans think of it. it is more the state lays out its case and i think it is over 90 percent prosecution rate. but what was interesting about this story is when it happened. just as the invasion of ukraine took place, it seems like brittney was being used as a pawn in the situation. and i know that puts yourselves in a precarious position but how much help are you hoping for from the administration and how much, you know, of a movement are you hoping to turn this into
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or does that hamper the negotiations to bring this woman home? >> you are right, in the beginning we were quiet. that is what we were told. that was the best way to show our best support and if anybody knows and your audience knows wnba players, they are very vocal, they look to get informed about a situation and they will step out on their platforms and give is the proper recognition, the proper spotlight but the way that we were told in the beginning to best show our support was to be quiet. so what we did was we reached out to experts to learn about russian, ukrainian affairs, to learn more about the system, to learn how this could play out over the next several weeks. and so as my members always do, they look to get informed and educated before they are ready to speak. when we heard that the state department had classified bg as
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wrongfully detained when we are heard from sherel griener that she needed her help, we heard that through her team t was go time for my members. because this is an issue about the sang tit of sports. you are right, she should not be a political pawn. this is not a game. this is not the game. and so to see our brothers and sisters across all the different professional sports and so many different organizations step up with us in this global sports community and talk about the bg and talk about this case and talk about the need to get her home, you know, that has gotten its biden administration's attention and that call, that sherel griner got from not only the president but the vice president to assure her that they mr. doing everything possible to get bg home and
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others detained americans home, well that gave us the assurance that we need. and you know, quite frankly, trevor, what this country needs is a rallying cry. and that's what we are bg all about. it is a rallying cry, we nied a win, we need to stand with this president. we need him to do whatever it takes to bring bg home. >> trevor: when you look at the situation, you know, through the lens of people who are helping people who aren't helping, as you said there has been support from other athletes who now have been given the license to speak. there are some who have said it feels like this isn't something that would have happened to you know, one of the men's basketball player, if it was lebron he would have been out in a week is what people are saying, it feels like when we deal with a international incident there is a lot of sensitivity that has to come into play so i wondered from your side when looking at people raising their voices, et cetera, what are you hoping that they
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would push for, in a situation where you feel the administration has got it handled. i know that her family hasn't spoken to her. but what do you need from the people or is it just everybody having to wait because two governments are having a conversation about a delegate-- delicate issue. >> you do have to recognize that in any political system or situation that you've got to be sensitive, right. you've got to be careful. you've got to watch and monitor. right now it is go time. right now what we need from so many organizations from so many of our fans, those in your audience what we need is to unite, to come together, to put politic as side, and let this administration know we want them to do whatever it takes to bring a wrongfully detained americans home. we need folks to go to the we rbg websites, we are bg.orgg to that websites, sign the
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petition, tell folks that you have signed the petition it is important that we get this advice ability and that we get the awareness out there. >> trevor: terri jackson, thank you so much for joining us, we'll take a quick break and be right back after this.
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(cheers and applause). >> trevor: that's our show for tonight, but before we go please dr supporting keen, a organize providing fitness program force youth with disability f you want to help them offer equal opportunities for recreation, fitness and friendship donate at the link below, stay safe out there remember to stay hydrated in a heat wave as long as joe manchin says it is okay. now here it is, your moment of zen. >> live television, gang, that is live tv for you. >> excuse me, my kids are here. live television. >> do it live. >> we have so many different investors, technical analysts and others who say okay, summer might be fine, and i see we have dogs, another guest joining us. >> dogsing of the dow. >> the dog days of summer, we can talk about it that way. >> i'm sorry, i'm sorry. >> but the dogs seem to think
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[ indistinct chatter ] hello, everyone, and welcome back. we are live at south park elementary school, where the local girls volleyball team is about to take on the jefferson sabers. and, jim, it is a packed. sell-out crowd tonight -- the first time in team history. everyone turning out to see what's gonna happen. that's right, mike. all eyes tonight are of course on 4th grader nichole daniels. will she sit or stand for the national anthem? this week, with athletes all over the country sitting down for the national anthem, the question on everyone's mind is, what is this little girl gonna do? she's not gonna sit down. why would she? screw that. i got a hundred bucks riding on this. come on, nichole! sit it out! man: now please rise for the national anthem. this is it! [ "the star spangled banner" plays ] announcer #1: the national anthem starts. nichole daniels seems to be waiting. so far, no sign of --
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oh, and heidi turner is sitting down! [ crowd gasping ] announcer #2: mike, this is totally unexpected. all eyes were on nichole when heidi turner comes out of nowhere and sits down for -- and there goes meagan ridley! the crowd is going wild. what a turn of events. let's check in with dave. ed and mike, i've just looked at the girls' twitter accounts, and it appears they are sitting out the national anthem to protest all the harassment and trolling they receive on the internet! complete surprise, dave. nobody saw this coming. three girls now sitting down, and -- and finally there goes nichole. -wow! -yeah, 100 bucks! and now as the anthem draws to a close, this thing is over. the final result -- four athletes sitting out on the national anthem, three of them not even black. a shocker here in south park. thanks for joining us. oh, my god, that was great! uh, play ball. [ whistle blows ] all right, ladies, first of all, i want to say that i completely respect your decision to protest our national anthem. i thought it was sweet. i believe you shed some light on some very important issues regarding gender equality.

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