>> the hot new disease. and daniel kaluuya. this is "the daily show," with trevor noah. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: what's going on, everybody? welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in. thank you for coming out in person. it was raining. it was hot. it was everything. thank you so much, take a seat. we have a jam-packed show. the world health organization is going to send us back to our apartment. and we wrap up season one of the january 6 committee. plus oscar winner daniel kaluuya is joining us on the show. so let's do this people.

okay, before we get into the big stories, let's catch up with a few other things that are going on. first of all,. vladimir putin has announced he will unblock ukraine's ports. and this is good news. but i trust putin's deals as much as i would trust elon musk around my wife. we'll see how that goes. also, w.w.e. founder vince mcmahon has been forced to retire after it came out that he may have paid up to $filibuster million to hush up sexual misconduct allegations over the last 20 years. yeah, yeah, you know something is over the line when pro wrestling catch. because those refs never seen anything. drake is under fire for posting a picture of a random woman that he saute restaurant to his instagram, saying he tried to air drop the picture to her so she could see how hot she looked. yeah. and it's not the worst thing in the world. i think we can all agree it's a little creepy. in fact, as punishment, drake should have to ride the subway

and let all the creeps drop their pics to him. oh, shit, why do we look like a cauliflower. of course the most exciting thing happened over the weekend-- we got the first trailer for "black panther 2." that trailer was amazing. and it was so black. what! black people, black people are celebrating that trailer the same way white people celebrate when trader joe's drops a brand-new frozen meal. "pumpkin raffoley! what!" let's get into the big news of the day, starting with a major announcement report from world d health organization. and, yyou already know the news is going to be bad because the world health organization, they never call us to say, "hey, guys, we just want to let you know the world is healthy." no they only pop up to say shit like this: >> with cases rapidly on

the rise, this morning the world health organization is sounding the alarm on monkeypox, declaring the virus a global health emergency. across the country, the numbers are steadily rising. less than two weeks ago, the c.d.c. listed just over 1,400 confirmed cases nationwide. now that number has nearly doubled with cases in all but five states. the nation's epicenter, new york, where nearly 900 people have been infected. the last time the world health organization made this designation was january of 2020 in response to covid-19. >> trevor: why! why! ( laughter ) another global health emergency. no! we just got done with ignoring this pandemic. i don't know if i can handle another one. ( applause ) also, why is new york the epicenter again? haven't we been through enough? hurricane sandy, coronavirus, the knicks.

i'm joking. i'm joking. sandy wasn't a complete disaster. seriously, people. what is it about new york? why do diseases love it? what is it about this place, outside of the rats and cockroaches and the subways full of feces and the garbage on the sidewalk. why diseases love new york? now, the good news and the big difference between monkeypox and covid is, so far, monkeypox doesn't seem as dangerous, so far. still got to take it seriously. but for most people, it gives you some painful boils for, like, a few days, and then it's gone. yeah. and after covid, i'm not going to lie, that doesn't faze me. yeah, because it's like, is this going to kill one million people and shut downtown planet? no? then i'm taking these boils to the club, baby. ( laughter ) ( applause ) now, you may have noticed that awbl or somewhere else people are saying monkeypox is a gay disease. please understand that that is not true. all right. yes, gay men who are very sexually active are at higher

risk of getting the disease because it's transmitted through touch. but it is not a gay disease. anyone can get it. so while we should make sure the gay community has the support they nerkd we also shouldn't stigmatize them and make it seem monkeypox is their disease. the same way covid-- the same way covid wasn't a chinese person's disease. the same way aids wasn't an african person's disease, all right. ( cheers and applause ). no matter where a disease starts, if you don't stomp it out, it could spread out to the larger population. it's how diseases work pup know, some disguise might start in a frat house, but if you don't stop it, one day your granny could be on the phone with you, "i don't have much longer, sweetie. the doctors say i've got ( bleep ) fever. it's really bad." let's not blame any one group of people here for monkeypox. the ones we should be blaming are the monkeys. ( laughter ) don't forget, all these diseases come from monkeys. and it's not a mistake. they're trying to kill us. yeah, because, remember, we used

to roll with the monkeys. and then what did we do? we secretly went away. we got clothes and computers and we left our monkey brothers band. and they're like, "screw you guys. you said you were going to the shop to buy cigarettes and you built cities and shit and you left us naked eating bananas. we're going to show you. ha-ha." ( applause ) but even though it's an emergency let's not get too stressed out about something that may or may not become a worldwide disaster, because we've already got a worldwide disaster to focus on. it's called climate change. the reason everybody was sweating this weekend. i'm an accountant. you may wait. get in there, champ. last week we saw how the heat affected europe. temperatures were reaching record highs, wildfires were in multiple countries and now the u.s. is experiencing the same thing. >> many cities are seeing record-breaking temperatures, readers hitting triple digits in areas throughout the northeast, and that could be the case the

rest of the week as well. >> that's right. at least four cities set new is marks, including boston and newark in california, the oak fire has burned at least ten structures, these newlyweds coming back to their home to find it reduced to ash, many wondering if they'll have a home. >> wildfires sending residents fleeing in the west. emergency crews in yosemite national park working day and night from the ground and in air trying to contain the. more-15,000-acre oak fire. >> this is the not-so-mighty. rio grande near albuquerque, new mexico. high temps and extreme drought have caused water levels to drop to their lowest point in about 40 years. these new satellite images showing how much water lake mead has lost to a massive drought. its water levels are at their lowest point since 1937. that is just after the lake was created by the hoover dam. >> trevor: yeah. it looks like the world is on fire, soon all of our drinking water will be gone. so joke's on you, monkeypox. yeah, you can't kill us if we're

killing ourselves first. bitch. humans! humans! humans! humans! yeah! we're all going to die! ( applause ) once again, we're being reminded if humanity doesn't get our act together soon, mother nature is going to handle this problem herself. thunderstorms are going to become more thundery. droughts are going to be more droughty. planet's going to be so hot, drake is going to air drop it a picture of itself. i mean, did you guys feel how hot it was this weekend? did you feel it? shit was no joke. my sweat was sweating. for a second i thought my ubermade a mistake and drop me off in hell. i said 14th street. it was so hot i was walking into random stores to steal their air conditioning. i'm not going to lie. when i say every store, i mean every store, even stores i had zero business being inside. the worst thing is when you do that you have to act like you're actually going to buy something even when you don't.

"so, you guys, you don't do custom, yeah, yeah? just off the rack. okay, yeah, yeah. and you said the crosses are not self-burning, but you can get an easy light version online. okay, yeah, yeah, yeah. i'm going to come back. i'm going to come back. i'm going to seforra because i'm going to get whatever they sell. i'll be back. what was your name again? wizard. i'll be back. yeah, i'll definitely come back." i did not go back. ( applause ) but, again, let's not get too stressed about this disaster that could end human life on earth because we can still change it. besides, we need to save some of our stress for another existential threat-- the robot apocalypse. >> in russia, a supremely bad move at the moscow chess move. a chess-playing robot, apparently malfunctioned and broke the young opponent's finger.

>> we see the robot taking one of the boy's pieces, but when he makes a move quickly, the robot grabbed his finger hard enough to break it. officials say the 7-year-old didn't wait long enough before that next move, but he was back playing the next day. ( laughter ) >> trevor: so-- so that robot tried to kill that child, and everyone just went back the next day like nothing happened? also, who is programming a chess robot with another strength to break a human hand? this is chess, not u.f.c. broke the choke hold, bitch. i actually would watch more chess if there were choke holds. i'm not going to lie. but this is how it starts, people. siri stops listening to you. the chess robot breaks a seven-year-old's finger. the next thing you know your roomba is sneaking up behind you with a knife-- "prepare to die, humans. where are you humans? prepare to die." that's it for the headlines. but before we go for a break, let's check in on the stock market with michael kosta, everybody! ( cheers and applause )

more importantly, what's happening in the stock market. >> yeah, you know, i'm actually not crushing it. >> trevor: what? >> yeah. psyche! i'm crushing it! i'm also trying to bring back psyche, but it's not really working. psyche! it's working. and i am crushing it dude. you want to make money in market i have a hot tip so pay attention. before we do this, that "black panther" trailer. that was amazing. ( applause ) i got two things to say about "black panther." first one, wakanda forever, and the second one, people have been telling me to stop doing that, all right. that's my last one. psyche! wakanda forever! stully, this is-- the robot that broke the -- >> the chess robot? >> a robot breaks a child's finger, and nothing happens to it? that's unfair. you know, but my two-year-old

niece puts her finger in my mouth and i bite down and now i'm a monster? okay. you ate the last cup cake, denise. ( laughter ) you got to learn some boundaries. all right, the big news, trevor, in the w.w.e., right here, and look, i wrestled in middle school, so i understand this, okay. i wasn't on the wrestling team, but i was thrown down and beaten up a lot, okay. look at this. 8% increase in one day. i know what you're think ago this is wrestling. that's fake. no, no, no. this is real. almost as real as those injuries i sustained throughout middle school. look, here's what happened. the c.e.o. of w.w.e., vince mcmahon, stepped down, and this thing climbed higher than a unitawrpd a sweaty wrestler's butthole, okay. now, this is humiliating for vince mcmahon. this is like if you go to a party and then as soon as you leave everyone is like, "that's when it got good." that's what vince mcmahon is dealing with right here. it's been a big shaing at w.w.e.

they hired a new creative director, triple h., a former wrestler. or as i refer to him as he-he. with this infusion of cash i'm hoping the w.wesmed buys some better furniture. stop with these folding chairs and tables that break all the time. how about some solid oak, something heavy like a hickory, and then you hit referee with that, okay. i promised you a hot tip. here's a hot tip. think about this. think about this. if you're the c.e.o. of a struggling company, just say you're leaving, wait for the stock to go up, right, then you say, "psyche! i'm back in. wakanda forever." ( applause ) >> trevor: michael kosta, everybody! don't go away, because when we come back we'll look at the season finale of january 6. season finale of january 6. you don't want to miss it.

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t-mobile has coverage beyond the expected. ( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." after six weeks of televised drama, we finally come to the end of season one of the january 6 hearings, the investigation into the day donald trump lost his security deposits and the

latest news is about steve bannon, the former trump adviser and your daily reminder to wear sunscreen. bannon refused to comply with a subpoena from the january 6 committee and now he could spend two years in prison after being found guilty of contempt of congress. yeah. and before you try and make some childish joke,s, i hope he doesn't drop the soap in prison." don't. because steve bannon doesn't use soap, okay. it's not an issue. ( applause ) but, anyway, let's catch up on all the other juicy details coming out of those hearings in our ongoing coverage of january 6. ♪ ♪ ♪ ( applause ) ( applause ) >> trevor: so, the january 6 hearings finally came to a close with the committee putting on a two-hour prime-time show which they hoped would finally convince the nation president trump was #problematic. and because this was the last episode, they did not hold back. >> the prime-time finale for the january 6 committee lived up to its billing. the committee presenting what

may be its most damning evidence to date, highlighting the 187 minutes between president trump telling his supporters to march to the capitol, and when he finally told them to go home. trump spent much of that time at the white house watching the violent assault unfold on tv and refusing to publicly condemn it or call off the mob. >> for hours, trump ignored pleas by his aides, members of congress, and even his own daughter to call off the violence as it unfolded before his eyes. >> the prime-time event painted the clearest picture yet of how former president trump waited until it was clear that his supporters would not be able to stop the certification of the vote before he made any attempt to call off the angry mob. >> as he was gathering his things in the dining room to leave, president trump reflected on the day's events with a white house employee. president trump said nothing to

the employee about the attack. he said only, "mike pence let me down." >> trevor: wow. trump watched everything that happened on january 6 and his biggest problem is that mike pence let him down? by, i guess, not being hanged? ( laughter ) "he said he was my ride or die, but when i asked him to die, he wouldn't do it. what a loser." but, the main takeaway from this hearing is not only did trump do nothing through three hours of the best tv he watched all year, but he only finally spoke out once it was clear that the coup had failed. and everyone knows that move, right. when you act as if you wanted to do it but you don't. like the thing you do when you go out with your friends. "let me grab the check." "we left the restaurant 20 minutes ago." "too bad, next time. i got you. i got you." ( applause ) now-- i mean, if you want to be

really generous, you could say the reason trump didn't do anything on january 6 is because maybe he was in shock. and if i tweeted, "i'd kill for a mcrib" and my followers burned down mcdonald's, i wouldn't know what to do as well. even on january 7, trump still had to be forced kicking and screaming into condemning the maga mob and consegd the election. and the only reason we know this is because committee released the outtakes of his speech, and they are i had chaser. >> i would like to begin by addressing the heinous attack yesterday, and to those who broke the law, you will pay. you do not represent our movement. you do not represent our country. and if you broke the law-- you can't say that. i'm not-- i already said, "you will pay." the demonstrators who infiltrated the capitol have defied the seat-- that's "defiled," right? see, i can't see it very well. okay? >> okay. >> i'll do this. i'm going to do this. let's go.

but this election is now over. congress has certified the results. i don't want to say, "the election is over." i just want to say, "congress has certified the results," without saying "the election is over," okay? >> ivanka: but congress has certified. now congress has certified. >> yes, right. >> ivanka: now congress has certified. >> i didn't say "over," so let me see. go to the paragraph before. okay? i would like to begin by addressing the heinous attack yesterday. "yesterday" is a hard word for me. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> good. take the word "yesterday," because it doesn't work with the heinous. on our country. say "on our country." you want to say that? >> ivanka:: no, repeat this. >> my only goal was to ensure the integrity of the vote. my only goal was to ensure the

integrity of the vote. ( laughter ) ( applause ) >> trevor: i'm not going to lie-- i'm tosh on this. i'm torn. because, yes, yes, him refusing to say the election is over, that's damning as hell. but the rest of the stuff, i mean, it just seems like someone who is struggling to read. ( laughter ) you know? no, i get it. i get it. it can happen to you you. sometimes you're trying to work with the camera. i understand that. i understand. what i will say is really funny is how he says he can't say "yesterday," but says "yesterday." lees like. , "i can't say yesterday. yesterday is really hard. nobody can say yesterday. what is that word? i'll try to say it? see, you can't say yesterday." what was that thing by the way. that was funny.

i've never seen him do that. ( laughter ) he was like a sassy trump. ( laughter ) ( applause ) but, really, the parts of the clip where trump refuses to say the election is over, that is bad. and very optimistic. because say what you want about the man, he does not give up. if he was a football coach he would be in the locker room, like, "okay, team, we lost by 30 points and the other team has already gone home, which means the end zone is completely unguarded. get in there like yesterday! i stayed! i said it! i said the word!" ( applause ) now, the committee didn't just expose the president for throwing a trump-- trump-- trump-- that's hard. can we change it guys? that's hard. they also took a moment to reveal a lot of the bravado we have seen from far-right republican lawmakers wasn't actually how they felt while the patriots were ransacking the

capitol, and one person who got dragged was josh hawley. of >> the committee highlighting missouri senator josh hawley's actions on january 6th as he entered the capitol. >> as you can see in this photo, he raised his fist in solidarity with the protesters. later that day, senator hawley fled after those protesters he helped to rile up stormed the capitol. see for yourself. >> the committee room erupting in laughter, watching hawley run. ( laughter ) >> trevor: okay, i'm-- i'm sorry. ( laughter ) but the january 6 committee should be ashamed of itself. they had no reason to show this. ( laughter ) they just wanted to embarrass a senator of the united states. ( cheers and applause ). embarrass the man. why? just because he ran away like a little bitch? ( laughter ) i mean, what did he do? yeah, he raised his fist and he

egged the crowd on, but is that a reason to show him pissing his pants on national television? is it a crime to be crying and running away from the mob that you riled up? he's such a bitch. let me tell you something-- that bitch-ass thought the mob was going to kill him. is that funny to you. this grown man running on his little gazelle legs. "i don't want to die!" you think that's funny? grow up. ( laughter ) so, sadly, that's it for season one of the january 6 hearings. but good news, good news. it's already been renewed for season two that drops in september. ( applause ) yeah, and like any good series, they've leaving us with major cliffhangars. will they find the secret service cleated text messages. will liz cheney and adam kinzinger find the love they've been looking for has been in front of them the whole time? will we find out steve bannon was the source of monkeypox? either way, we'll be waited with

baited breath. we have to take a break, but when we come back, daniel kaluuya will be joining us on the show. you tonight want to miss it. ( applause ) ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪mmm i gotta big ol' bowl for 5 bucks,♪ ♪i gotta big ol' bowl for 5 bucks.♪ ♪it's got mac n cheese n chicken n cheese,♪ ♪i got a big ol' bowl for 5 bucks...♪ woo! kfc's $5 mac & cheese bowls, back for a limited time in classic or spicy. that's finger lickin' good!

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( cheers and applause ) >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is oscar-winning actor daniel kaluuya. he is here to talk about starring in the new film "nope." >> what did you see? >> it's bad. >> how bad. >> bad. >> what did it look like? >> are you saying what i think you're saying?

>> trevor: please welcome daniel kaluuya! ( cheers and applause ) daniel kaluuya, welcome back to "the daily show." or should i say oscar winner. >> come on. >> trevor: daniel kaluuya. ( cheers and applause ). welcome back to "the daily show." >> thank you, thank you. thanks for having me. >> trevor: what do you mean. if you were-- i would love to know, how do you stay motivated after an oscar? >> i start struggling. it's not about that. it's not like i'm-- it's a

blessing. but i feel like-- i feel like it's a master's. what are you going to do with it? that's what i'm saying, what am i going to do with it? it's a key. >> trevor: what kind of key is that? >> i don't know what kind of key is that. >> trevor: you are using it. this movie, and people-- we played the trailer and a little pefts movie there. nobody knows what the movie is about. there were times you didn't really know what was happening. >> i didn't know. you're looking up in the sky, and, clearly, there's no-- i'm not saying-- but there's no thing in the sky. year luke aahh... but there's nothing there. so you're like, what's it going to look like. and they'll show you some skeletal gci. and you kind of have to mblg it and -- >> but you have to trust jordan. you know, he, i'm sure you've seen, he loves you so much.

high just-- he feels like you're the greatest actor-- he says in many ways you're his deniro, which say huge compliment. the relationship you have is special. >> i remember when i realized there was a scene, the "give me the keys sceb" that was improskies ared. there was a whole scene that was written. it's like what are you looking for? and i was working and working, and he removed all the lines. and he said, "just ask her for the keys." he knows that she's-- and i realized in that moment, i trust you. and so i just did it. so i did it. there was no, like, there's no back-and-forecast. i said give me the keys. give me the keys. >> trevor: that was one of the most powerful scenes in the film. exactly what you're say, instinctual. when i think about your journey

in acting and who you are, you have always had this uncanny ability to understand not even who the character is on the page but who the character is nevada you. i've always wondered with any amazing actor, are there parts of the character you keep with you, or are you tieblg turn it off and then you're done after the project? >> no, it stays with you. it stays with you. you have to kind of likeue have to-- that's why i usually go away for a week by myself and get back to myself, what were my habits. you're doing his habits. and you are your habits. you're doing this person's habits for, like, four months. and then you're away from yourself. you have to kind of go travel back to yourself. >> trevor: that's scary. >> oh, i want to watch this youtube video about this stuff. and you get back to yourself. so, yeah. >> trevor: this is one of those movies that has one of the best casts out there. that is out there. i'm not going to lie. you know i love you, but kiki

palmer. she's just amazing. she's just amazing. i feel like you two have become best friends. everywhere i have seen you together, you're like siblings now. >> she's deeply annoying. ( laughter ) that's my girl. she knows how to push my buttons. it's funny. we call it a siblankre. we have a brother-sister dynamic. >> trevor: when you are working with somebody like, that trust comes into the picture. you're performing together. you're spending so much time together. do you think it improves yourself relationship when you're in a tough situation acting, or does your relationship improve the situation that you're in? which way does it go? i know you don't always meet the actors beforehand. >> you see the person's character when you're going up against themselves pup see how generous they are. how much they're there for

themselves and for the script. you would see that in life anyway. it's a mirror. what comes first the chicken or the egg. i like, especially if you have a close kind of relationship, spending time with them beforehand and going out and being silly and rolling out. she took me to a house party. it was fun. it was a good house party. >> trevor: i want to ask you what happened there, but i won't. i've been lucky enough ton you, you know, across the years, and you have maintained that sense of self. you have maintained that generosity. you have kept daniel intact, which is not easy in the industry that you're in. i noticed recently that you joined instagram. what fascinated me was the fact that you're such a private person, you have always been. how do you see you sharing a piece of your world as someone who is extremely private? >> i'm still fig tugger out. i'm like, i'm trying not to overthink it. >> trevor: okay, okay. >> this is what i'm doing today. i kind of like using the

platform to show joy. let's have fun, man. let's have fun. it's a platform to create more fun in your life. and then it contributes to your life. and you're like i'm going to go to a theme park today. let's show that. i don't know. i'm still figuring it out. i realize i want a correct relationship with the audience. like i care about the audience. i just was busy playing other people in my head. just like-- what do i post? who am i? what do i post about? i shot a police officer in the morning and i'm on the run. >> trevor: oh, man. >> like, i doont now, i'm a bit more into myself. i'm still figuring it out. >> trevor: before i let you go, there's one question i have been dying to ask you, and this is from the oscars when you were accepting your award. you said, "i want to thank my

mom and dad for having sex." ( applause ). >> go ahead. >> trevor: it was a really fun moment. and you were joyous and thanking everybody. you were thank your favorite rappers from the u.k. i noticed your mom was in the audience. >> in london, which is probably why i did it. >> trevor: they cut your mom. okay. so she's in the audience. and you go, "i want to thank my mom and dad for having sex." and they cut to her. and your mom is an african mom. and everybody was like ha-ha. and she was like, "did this guy just say i had sex on tv." from one african to another, i would like ton, how did you avoid the volcano-- did she say anything to you? >> of course she did! it was months later. it's still cooking.

but, like, your personality. but, yeah, it was interesting. it happened. people were asking, "why did you say that? how do you get here?" how does anyone get here. >> trevor: african parents are like, "we know how we got here but we don't talk about it. we don't need to talk about it." daniel, thank you so much for being on the show. thank you for joining me. ( cheers and applause ) "nope" is now playing in theaters and imax nationwide. daniel kaluuya, everybody. we'll be right back after this. ( cheers and applause )

>> before we go, please consider supporting respect ability. an organization that works to create systemic change in how society views and values people with disabilities. if you want to help them lobby for better policies and train organizations to empower people with disabilities, please donate at the link below.

until the next time. stay safe out there. and remember-- a chess robot can't hurt you if you don't know how to play chess. now here it is, your moment of zen. >> dexter is a dog when he does a pretty cool trick. he walks on his hind legs just like a human. >> a lot of dogs think they're human. >> no, no, no. >> but dexter takes it to a whole other level. >> nope. >> nope. >> nope. >> nope. nope. no, nope. nope. >> almost looks like a human in a dog suit. >> hell, no. captioni - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪

both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪ [playing harmonica] - you guys, listen to this song i just wrote. it's called i hate you guys. [playing harmonica] ♪ i hate you guys ♪ ♪ you guys are assholes ♪ ♪ especially kenny ♪ ♪ i hate him the most ♪ okay, now let's try one all together. [playing harmonica] ♪ i hate you guys ♪ come on, you guys know the words! ♪ especially kenny ♪ - this is sweet, being rugged outdoorsmen. facing the wilderness, not having to be home until 8:30. - where are you going? - i'm going home for a minute. i have to go to the bathroom. - just go behind the trees. - i have to go number two. - so? you can poo in the wilderness. - no way, dude. what would i wipe with?

- cartman, don't be such a baby. we're supposed to be rugged outdoorsmen. - what do i sit on? - you just squat, stupid. - not here. go further away! - god, i'm glad you guys know all these "pooping outside" rules. [grunts] come on, now. - watch out for ground eels! [all laughing] - shut up, you guys. i can't think! - what do you have to think about? - i have to think about planes dropping bombs and dump trucks and soft-serve ice cream. [plop] ah, that did it! - sick, dude! [water burbling] [playing harmonica] ♪ pooping outside ♪ ♪ making soft-serve ice cream ♪ ♪ for all my friends ♪ ♪ especially kenny ♪ hey, kenny, can i borrow one of your gloves? - [muffled] here you go. no way! [rustling] - what the... - oohma kooba! - oh, my god, you guys, come look at this! - we don't want to look at it, cartman! - you guys, get over here! - no way, dude! - um, seriously! look, over by those bushes! - what? - meesa scared! - i see it! - come on, let's kill it!

[squish] aw, cartman! you're supposed to bury it! - look at this sword offered only here on house shopping network. it's got a dragon on the blade! it's got a dragon painted right on the blade. used by the samurai of japan - ned, how the hell could you lose your voice box? - [no audio] - i can't hear you, ned. you don't have a trachea. you smoked too much. you had it removed. and then you drank too much, and you lost your goddamn voice box, ned. - [belching] shut...up...jim-bo. - aw, ned, don't burp-talk. that just sicks me out. - it went this way! - over here! - come on, you guys. - what the hell's going on? - uncle jimbo, cartman found some big animal creature. it ran over that way! - hold on, i'll get my shotgun! ned! ned, come on! where'd it go? - it just ran by here a second ago! - sounds like it ran into the ostrich trap! shh! now, keep quiet. all right, i'm gonna turn my flashlight on. it may get startled, so be ready. - ooba dagga! - holy crow! i've never seen anything like it! - meesa gonna die? whoo-woop! - [giggles] hey, that thing's funny!