extreme heat, california has announced that they will become the first state to introduce a ranking system for heat waves so people can easily understand how hot it is going to get. (laughter) which isn't that just temperature? did they just invent the thermometer? like what, i guess i could see how this will be useful. it will be like hot, extremely hot, dangerously hot. and then idris all ba, and if it is i had ris alba, stay indoors and check on your grand plotter. in economic news on tuesday the government reported despite raising interest rates inflation is still incredibly high and in response the stock markets dropped 1300 points, the worst drop since 2020. and can i just say, the stock market is a little bich. no, i mean every single one, inflation up, inflation down, unemployment, we just have to roll with it but the slightest

bad news and the stock market is like oh, i'm crashing, this is my worst day in two years, i don't think i can ever come back from this. and then every time the next day will be like so, i might have reacted a little harshly yesterday, i might have overreacted. i feel like today's going to be my best day ever. so much a-- drama in science new nasa is test a new planetary defense system by launching a space probe directly into an asteroid to see if it can knock it off its course. yeah, and i guess if that doesn't work i assume nasa will go with plan b which is talking to the asteroid about bit coyne until it naturally veers away. just kind of drifts away from earth. but let's move on to the big news of the day and it is still about queen elizabeth the 2 ngd. calista of the great grass sea and wales, mother of corgis and maker of chains, after 96 years of living her best life the queen's passing has made headlines all over the globe so

let's catch up on our latest installment of the royal rumble. today queen elizabeth was laid in state at westminster-- westminster and no surprise, the british went all out for it. because the british love doing shit all dignified. they do. you have seen the changing of the guards, that is a 45 minute ceremony just to clock out. (laughter) so when the queen herself dies best believe the pomp was going to be everywhere. i'm talking streets filled with giant british flags. i'm talking soldiers with their fansiest hats. i'm talking a casket decked out with the royal crown on top of it. which means technically for awhile that cass gets-- casket was the ruler of england, i read that on wikipedia. and officials expect that more

than 700,000 mourners will come to see the queen lying in state. with people waiting up to 30 hours in a line stretching five miles long. basically like trying to vote in georgia, that is how dedicated you have to be to see the queen. but my favorite ritual-- (applause) my favorite ritual in this whole thing is that, and this is completely true. the royal beekeeper has to inform the queen's bees that the queen has died. that say real thing that they have to do. and look, they don't have any footage of it but i feel like i can imagine that it didn't go well. hello, everyone. hello. i'm afraid have i some difficult news. the queen is dead. yes, no, no, no, not your queen, not your queen, the queen, not your queen, calm down, everyone, calm down. everything is going to be fine.

everything is going to be fine, okay. we have a new leader. and charles will now be the king. no, no, no. a-w, no, i'm covered in bees! (applause) so yeah, a lot of people are mourning but it turns out while the royal family has their official rituals, the people have their own way of mourns their beloved queen. and buckingham palace has politely asked them to cut that shit out. >> we heard that authorities are asking the public to stop leaving certain gifts outside buckingham palace. what you can tell us about that. >> yeah, so they are specifically asking people not to bring any more toy bears, so this all started during the queen's platinum jubilee celebration. the queen participated in a video skit alongside an animated version of paddington bear. that was a real hit here, a sensation. so in honor of that people have been bringing toy bears and marmalade sandwiches which were mentioned in that skit to the

grounds of buckingham palace. there have been so many bears brought thrat royal park service is asking people not to bring any more bears and to instead bring organic tributes such as unwrapped flowers. >> trevor: hold up, hold up. this woman ruled the world's largest empire and that's what people remember her for? people like oh, the lady who we see with paddington, yeah. are you kidding plea? she was the longest reigning queen in world history. she drove an ambulance in world war ii, she nighted legends and princess diana killed and you remember her from a sketch? show some respect. (applause) paddington bear. by the way i'm not sure leaving a trail of teddy bears outside the palace is a good idea, that is already how prince andrew finds his girlfriends but it's not just marmalade and bears. people are leaving all sorts of things, they're leaving flowers, pictures. i tell you what, this is a great

opportunity to get rid of anything you don't want, just disguise it as a gift, oh our glorious queen i honor you with this ottoman that has a wobbly leg, from the great swedish kingdom dpr ikka. but while some people and bees are mourning her ma jesteery's passing, many other people are having a slightly different reaction. >> not everything was scripted today. one person protesting prince andrew was quickly removed from the crowd. >> a day earlier it was signage, not shouting that police in ed inborough had issues. >> and this person has been charged with breach of the peace. >> another man when he was arrested and de-arrested in oxford at a proclamation ceremony for the king after he shouted out, who elected him. >> trevor: i love that. i feel like everyone in the uk is amazing. like people heckling. are you sick old man who elected

him who made you king. all right, your mom, sorry about that, yeah. but yeah, the police in britain have a rested people for disrupting the royal ceremonies, basically, but with their opinion. which i was like, guys, the crown has gotten soft. someone is holding a sign, you realize back in the a day a crowd that didn't like you, their opinion would be that your body should be separated from your head, now just holding up a sign, just turn the other way, you still have a neck, use it. like you're going to arrest a lady in scotland for holding a sign? i've seen braveheart, when the scottish want to protest the british crown, you will know, you will know. and this really makes you appreciate how much freedom of speech people have here in america. you can do whatever you want here. you can say [bleep] the president, you can give a congressman the middle finger. you can try to murder the vice president, it's all free speach, baby, all free speech. (applause) >> and the backlash, the

backlash of the british monarchy hasn't just been coming from the kingdom itself. in many parts of the world, especially african-- africa people have a very different relationship with the queen. >> across the african continent there have been people saying i will not mourn for queen elizabeth. they hearded more than a million people in a concentration camp where they were tortured and dehumanized which is why you see a statement that said we do not mourn the death of elizabeth because to us her death is a reminder of a very tragic period in this country. and africa's history, during her 70 year reign as queen, she never once acknowledged the atrocities that her family inflicted on native people, that britain invaded across the world. if there is life and justice after death, may elizabeth and her ancestors get what they deserve. (applause). >> trevor: damn, may elizabeth and her ancestors get what they deserve. you know what i love about that line is that you can't really get angry because if you do, then it means that you

acknowledge what she deserves is bad. may she get what she-- how dare you say that, well, what does she deserve. i don't know. and i know some of these reactions seem extreme but when you consider what the british empire did, these reactions are actually pretty reasonable, right. you can't expect the oppressed to mourn the oppressor. never going to happen. it would be like giving the eulogy for the guy who stole your hub cap, i didn't know maurice well but he was definitely a go getter. by the way, has anyone seen my hub caps. and i know some people would say but look trevor, the queen wasn't really in charge, she is just a figure head, you can't blame her for the atrocities that the british empire committed. >> yeah, fair enough but understand in her entire reign she never repented. she nemp once made amends there is never one noted of apology on twitter, nothing. her crown, her crown still has that big ass diamond that they

took from south africa. it is the ultimate conflict diamond, the least you could do is give it back, to who? i don't know. i don't know but like you could try. you know? find the south african who hosts a late night tv show. it could be any one of them me. then we'll be on the path to forgiveness. that is it for the headlines but before we go to a quick break let's check in on the stock market with our finance expert michael kosta, everybody. michael, it seems like chaos, what the hell is happening in the market. >> look, the market is down, but trevor, i'm crushing it. i mean i crush it so hard nasa is shooting a rocket into me to keep me from crushing it even harder than i already am. >> trevor: what? by the. >> by the way that is nuts nasa is doing that, shooting a rocket into asteroid, you know what nasa stands for, no asteroid

sucker. you give us 25 years we'll take care of earth on our own, okay. by the way, i have a hot tip for you and for you, okay. so behind me here, these are the three major stock indexes and we're going to get to that. but first that story about in california how the new labels for temperature, trevor. >> trevor: yeah. >> we can do new labeling. we can limit carbon emissions. we can go fully electric but you know what the source of that warming is, no one wants to talk about this, the sun. that's right. hey sun, what's your problem, you know. you only work half the day. you are so sensitive we can't even look directly at you. everyone has to revolve around you. and sun, you discriminated against white people. it's true, it's true, it's true. the whiter you are, yeah, thank you. thank you. the whiter you are, the more the sun hates you. but i guess when you're a star

they let you do it. >> trevor: costa, what are you-- stop talking about the sun, get to the thing. >> meanwhile the moon is just so chill. you know? photographs as well, lets you walk on it. controls the tides so i get naturally waves so can i rip double barrel a frame. think about t we made love under the moonlight, romantic. we made love under the sun light, i get aest ared for public fornication, okay? look. don't worry, i got dearrested later but when i get to the chart. >> trevor: get to the chart. >> all right, all right. americans lost billions in value yesterday. that's the negative, okay. now here is the positive. we had billions. that's really good. that's a sign of a wealthy country. trevor, in south africa had a bad day, what do they lose, 40, 50 bucks. >> trevor: we have more than that.

>> look, look, look at this dropoff. look at this dropoff right here. that's the subpoena, that's the naz, that's the dow. bang, all at once, by the way s & p and dow, don't be afraid to do your own thing, okay. just once i want the naz to go down and the s&p and dow to go up. you don't always have to follow the naz. if the naz jumped off a cliff, would you? because you did. so remember, the good news is in the stock market when someone loses money, somebody makes money, and here is my hot tip, all right? find the person that made the money, and steal their money, okay. trevor, back to you. >> trevor: that is not a hot tip, that say crime, michael kosta, everybody. all right, when we come back we're going to look at how charles has only been a king for a few days. a few days. (applause)

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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. now before the break we were talking about how there is a ton of baggage surrounding its british monarchy and it has a lot of people asking questions about its future. should it continue. should they make ted lasso the queen, you know, he might surprise you. should british taxpayers have to continue funding the royal family or should they just privatize it?

the crypto.com king of england. either way it will take a lot of work to shape the monarchy into something that everyone can get behind. >> based on his first week in power, looks like king charles isn't the guy to do it. >> we begin with king charles and his problems with pens. >> his reign to this point has been marked by pen problems. the latest was in northern ireland where he wrote the wrong date on a document and then the pen started leaking. >> oh-- . >> and that trouble came just days after charles appeared to get angry when there were too many pens on a desk he was using urge entsly telling an aide to get rid of them. >> trevor: wait, wait. i'm sorry. what the hell-- did you see that thing, did he like-- he is also

its ruler of an animal-- and by the way, i love how charles says the pens leak on him all the time. this bloody thing. you literally the king of england. if you don't like the pens, get different pence. i'm not an expert in the monarchy but i'm pretty sure the hierarchy doesn't go prince williams, king charles and the guy who i boos the pens, that is not how it goes. get a new pen. i will say, i feel kind of bad for him, i do, because in the old days the king would have never had these issues. there would be no leaking pens. no, also the king would never gets corrected after writing the wrong date, that just would have been the new date. yeah. the king would just be like slal entien's day is the 159, right. >> yes, of course, my lord, of course my lord, cancel your dinner, everybody. i don't care if you were going to propose. just cancel t cancel it. now look, maybe king charles is just stressed out right now.

maybe that is why this is happening because becoming king is a lot of pressure. i mean like there are 15 different forks to memorize and you have to sleep with that crown on, that's not comfortable. but if you paid attention to king charles back during his days you would know that this is pretty much how he's always been. >> has grown up in such a privileged life now that he doesn't have mechanics to choose for himself any more. everything he has done, his pajamas are pressed every morning, his shoelaces are pressed flat with an iron, the water temperatures has to be just tep i had and only half full. prince charles does have his valet squeeze 1 inch of toothpaste on to his toothbrush every morning. >> if anyone gets anything wrong, everybody is scolded. on one occasion he rang me from his library and he said oh, paul, a letter from the queen seems to have fallen into my waste paper bin, would you pick

it out. the waste paper bin was there. he was sat there, i had to bend down into the paper ben, pick out the letter, put it back on his desk. will that be all your highness. >> trevor: your what? >> this guy had to bend down and pick something up for charles, for him, like when i was a kid, i thought kings had tho pull swords out of stones, this guy can't pull his dick out of his own pants. percy, i need assistance, well, cancer-- cancel your dinner, i need to pee. >> trevor: you know what this tells you, this story about charles, is that one, the royals have been really royally spoilt. and two i can tell you that nobody who, withouts in that palace is african. because i will tell you now f there was one african mom who worked in that palace, you try and pull that.

you try and pull that. just be over there, just be like you can come and pick this up for me, and she will be like are you telling me to pick up-- i am-- there is only one king, and that is jesus, huh? there is only one king in this world, and that is jesus. you pick up that paper. you pick up that paper now, charles. look, instead of getting angry maybe we need to understand that the royals aren't ordinary people. they are like strange creatures you need to observe from a distance to understand that. is probably why david attenborough has teamed up with the bbc once again for a new kind of nature show. >> here we have a rare sighting of a silver haired-- who has just been made leader of his island kingdom, he is the alpha now, and is he not afraid to display. the rest of the tribe watches as the alpha performs a ceremonial

task, the ritualistic marking of his territory on an incredibly large piece of paper. but wait, charles is displeased, a tus el over the positioning of a pen. he bears his teeth in an attempt to intimidate. a message has been sents. your new ruler isn't [bleep] around. (applause). >> trevor: all right, stay tuned because when we come back jennette mccurdy will be joining us on the show to tell us why she's glad her mom died. don't go away.

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>> trevor: welcome back to the daily show. my guest tonight is a former nickelodeon star here to talk about her best selling memg

other "i'm glad my mom died." please welcome jennette mccurdy. (applause). >> trevor: jennette mccurdy, welcome to the daily show. >> i feel so short, my feet aren't touching. >> trevor: as long as, you can swing them. >> i request swing them around. >> trevor: as long as you enjoy t i can lower the desk as well. >> this is good. >> trevor: okay. i kptd actually do, that i am glad you didn't ask me to do it. welcome to the show and congratulations on writing a book that, i think for many people, is seen as not just something funny, not just a story that is interesting but in many ways a cath artic exploration of how we see the relationships that we have with many of our parents, our caregiver, whoever it was in our world because you wrote a book entitled "i'm glad my mom died." >> yeah. >> trevor: and it is a massive

hit. so two questions, one, did you hate your mom? and two, does everybody? >> no, i definitely don't hate my mom. i think she was a really complicated and nuanced person and i try to kind of articulate her to the best of my ability and also many shades and colors. to me her humor is really-- she can say things that were so wild and at times abusive but she just had a certain cadence and a rhythm that was so humorous, so i tried to capture that, but i certainly didn't hate her. and i think that's why it was so important for me to write this book. because getting to the place where i was finally glad and relieved that she was dead, it took me so long for me to be able to accept that reality. and i also think that is something that people need, i didn't hear anybody talking about. i didn't hear anybody saying, you know, that the sort of honest reality of what their experience with their parent was if they had a similar one, i feel like it is something you

can't say because society doesn't accept it. you have to keep moms on the pedestal and have the same experience and that just wasn't mine. so it felt even more important to express it in the book. >> trevor: you go through your entire journey, many people in america and some parts of the world will remember you from i carly, were you this massive child star. and on the camera you were all smiles. you made people laugh, everybody enjoyed what you were doing. as soon as you read through the book you realize you were suffering. were you sperpsing trauma it was really abusive in how you were doing what you were doing. it feels like in many ways, you were living your mom's dream and she was making you do this. >> yeah. >> trevor: i would love to know how you did it, like did you have a switch, did you compartmentalize. because you talk about it in the book but could you never tell, could you never tell on screen what were you going through. >> no, no, my mom always wanted to be an actress. her dream was to be famousment and she would recount these tales of how her parent wouldn't let her, she would camp outside donee osmond's house, chris

nielt said they this a relationship, i think that is not true. chris knight f what that is true let me foe. she was fascinated with hollywood and the offera and romance as she saw it so she put me in acting when i was six n my eyes to live vicariously through me and liver her dream of what she always wanted. >> trevor: it seems like she subjected you to a nightmare because were you in a world where it is supposed to be fun, making kid's television and yet it seems pretty horrible. i also wonder if this std relationship of many child stars or do you know, was this isolatedded or do you think it is more normal that we would like to add miss. >> i think it is way more common than anyone would admit. i know going into my experience going through auditions, my mom would having me chug gatorade, pretend to be homeless and she is already messed up as it s and dozens of other girls lined up to also try and be this homeless child and the moms are like eyeing each other, i hope my daughter is better at being homeless than yours. and this is so, what is this

world. it is so weird. but i am able to now look back and see the humaner in it and i think it is a very absurd reality but i do think there is a lot of inherent ironic humor there. >> trevor: i think what you have done in the book is precisely that. you looked back and have seen the humor. you use the humor, because this book without the humor is a devastating tale of a young child. >> a piltee grab, it would be so awful, oh my god. >> trevor: i think it would just be a lot harder for people to read. i think it would be painful because it is still the real thing, you know, i wouldn't even think of it as a pittee grab but the humor is the coping mechanism, a tool, you process in your life through. there is a point in the book where i find myself reading the stories of your mom. understanding the complicated world that she existed in. >> yes. >> trevor: but then wondering, you know, like how you see her, like did you forgive her, were you able to let it all go, do you still hold some of those feelings.

like what has your journey been. >> oh my god, what a big, good question thrarks is such a deep, this is what i spent ten years in therapy to be able to now say on "the daily show." (applause) >> that's so school. that's really awesome. well, i'm glad you initially, you were seeing the humor and i think it is a great coping mechanism. and i try not to use it as a defense mechanism. i used it that way nor a long time when i was first trying to grapple with everything. and i think that lead to unfunny quhoises and my sense of humor overexens tore and flailing and obnoxious to be honest. but i think finding humaner in the intense moments and tragedies can bring brevity where necessary, i think i have done that. with my mom, i haven't gotten to a place of forgiveness and i was trying to get to a place of forgiveness for so long, in therapy. i would sort of plead almost with my therapist about why am i not able to get to this place. what is wrong with me that i am not able to forgive my mom for this abuse.

why i am so terrible that i can't get to that place and she eventually said you know, jennette, what if you just kind of dropped forgiveness and didn't make that your goal. because that, you still are trying to do your mom's work. yeah, right. i mean that is exactly my reaction, to erin. >> trevor: wow. >> yeah. >> trevor: it is a journey that i think far too many people have been. i think a lot of the success of the book has been that, obviously it is well written, fantastically told but it is a very complicated topic. how do you address the lack of love or the lack of parenting that you were supposed to get from their figure, because as you say, mom is supposed to be this god, this icon of everything. dad in some ways as well but not the same. and yet you're in a world where are you going-- no, it is true. people are like oh, dad was okay but mom is untouchable. >> or even with dad, oh my dad never showed up, mine either, and it is totally normal but with moms it is very much, there

is a pedestal they are on. >> trevor: when you broach this topic, when you start to thinking about it, were you worried that people would turn on you? >> i felt even if they did, it was a message worth sharing. i really mean that. >> trevor: i love that. >> thanks. >> trevor: i really do. that say brave stance to take, because people say how dare you sell out your mom like that. >> yes, yes. >> trevor: it is so crazy how, i mean everything gets memefied, there was a post i saw online where someone was trying to chastise everybody for talking about the queen, you know, like just going like we're glad this monarchy is ending in some way, and someone was like replace, you think it's funny, try and replace the queen with your mom and see how funny it is, and someone put a picture of your book up. and was like i'm glad the queen died. and it feels like, no, but it feels like, it feels like that's what the book is deals with, is you dealing with the idea of a mom, and how that competes or conflicts with your actual mom. >> yes, oh my god.

yeah. that tha should be on the black flap. >> trevor: i can writes this. >> i wish you would. >> trevor: you shared your story with us, you have gone through a world, now are you back in the world of entertainment in a different way, are you behind the camera, directing, writing, you have a podcast. it is interesting because it is a world that was so toxic to you and now you have come back in a different way, do you ever worry that it may suck you back in and how do you prevent yourself from going back into that space or feeling like you are defined by everything that you hated once. >> oh my god, i'm so-- can i just sairks i respect you so much. this is so cool, i'm so happy to be here, truly. like this is amazing. >> trevor: thank you very much. >> i have been scared of that. there have been a few times where i have done some press that shall not be named where it is so bizarre because i'm hearing the preroll of, they show the clip of me from the past, or whatever. and it's so dramatic. it's like mccurdy vanished from the spotlight after her traumatic childhood with the

trauma and the devastation-- st like jeez, calm down. and then i walk out to this like cold dom nearing kind of set and there is the journalist and three inches of makeup on the guy's face. and it's just like, you know t does feel kind of, it feels easy to leuses sight of reality in these environments. so i really tried to keep myself grounded and stay on top of therapy and being in touch with things that really are good touchdowns and grounding tools for me. because i do not want to get lost in it but also i will say i trust that i won't. i don't think hi the tools before to not get lost in if. to not feel sort of caught up in the whirlwind of showbiz. but now i feel like, you know what, there are some elements that are really cool about it. like this. and then dl are some that aren't. and that is fine. i can use my own discernment and just be grateful for the good experiences. >> trevor: we are grateful for you. thanks for writing the book. >> thank you. >> trevor: really wonderful having you here. >> thank you so much. >> trevor: thank you so much.

i'm glad my mom died is available now wherever you buy your books. jennette mccurdy. we're going to take a quick break, another busy day. of course it is - you're a cio in 2022. so what's on the agenda? you guys have a look at that and see... morning security briefing - make that two. share that link. send that contract. see what's trending. check the traffic on your network. in real time. with the next generation in global secure networking from comcast business. lunch? - sure. you've got time. onboard 37 new people. with 74 new devices. does anybody have any questions? and just as many questions. shut down a storm of ddos attacks. protect headquarters. and the cloud. with all your data on the nation's largest ip converged network. whoa, that is big. ok. coffee time. double shot. deal with a potential breach. deal with your calendar. deal with your fantasy lineup.

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go, before we go, please consider supporting a vibrant emotional health, a nonprofit dedicated to helping people achieve emotional well-being with innovative community programs as well as the -9d 88 suicide and crisis lifeline. so if you want to support them and their valuable work then please donate at the link below. until next time, stay safe out there and remember when life throws you a curve ball, you just-- that thing away. now here it is, your moment of zen. >> you may have heard this catchy tune about corn on social med yarks the viral song was created from an interview done by a 7 year old boy who thukically declared his love for corn. >> for me, i really like corn. >> what do you like about corn. >> it's corn. >> it's a big lump of knots, it has the juice. >> it has the juice. >> i can't imagine a more beautiful thing. >> it's corn. >> can i tell you all about it, i mean look at this thing. >> when i tried it with buttser, everything changed. everything changed. >> it's corn.

♪ ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ - ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm goin' down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night, people spouting howdy neighbor ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park, gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ - ♪ come on down to south park and meet some friends of mine ♪

♪♪ alright, now. what if my coverage isn't right? what if i accidentally hit a food truck? what if it gets covered in empanadas? at state farm, we're there for your "what ifs." thanks! like a good neighbor, state farm is there.®

call or click to get a quote today. she was supposed to be the one. i used to believe in the one. and then i realized, there's plenty of savings in the sea. what? amazon has daily deals, so every day is a chance to meet the deal that catches your eye, that shakes your soul, that changes your destiny. i'm gonna go check on those tater tots.

learn all the ways to save with amazon. - ♪ we're goin' to the water park ♪ ♪ the water park, the water park ♪ ♪ we're going to the water park ♪ ♪ me and all my best friends ♪ ♪ except for kyle, who i don't like ♪ - okay, cartman, you can stop singing now. - this is gonna be so awesome, dude. i haven't been to the water park in, like, over a year! - what do you guys wanna do first? i hear they have a new inner tube slide. - no, dude, we gotta go to the wave pool first! it's so dope. as long as there aren't any minorities. - what are you talking about, eric? - you know, there's always, like, five or six minorities wearing their t-shirts in the wave pool. pisses me off. - we're here! it's the water park! [triumphant music] - i'm gonna pick you boys up right here at 4:00; you got it? - come on, let's go! - we got it, dad. - six adorable children, please! wave pool! wave pool! wave pool! oh, what the hell? [people cheering]

- all right, what do you guys wanna ride first? - well, cartman said he wanted to do the wave pool first, right, cartman? - forget it. just forget it! - dude, this is awesome! - you guys wanna see how long i can hold my breath underwater? - hey, fellas! fellas, hang on. i gotta go to the bathroom. - okay. go ahead. - okay. thanks! - i can seriously hold my breath longer than anybody. somebody time me, all right? - okay. - all right, check it out-- butters--butters! what the [bleep]? are you peeing in the pool? - you said go ahead! - come on, kyle. let's check out the fireboats. - no, dude. butters' pee is in there! - aw, come on. look at all this water. it doesn't matter if one person pees in it. - yeah, come on, kyle. i'm not the only person here who's peed in the pool. lots of people do. - no, they don't. - yeah, they do, kyle. - to be perfectly frank, i peed in the pool about 25 seconds ago. - dude! - come on, show us how long you can hold your breath! - no! [melancholy music] - ♪ what has happened to this place? ♪ ♪ i don't recognize it anymore ♪

♪ it used to be so fun and special ♪ ♪ what is life worth living for? ♪ ♪ the dream is dead, our land is gone ♪ ♪ there's a hole in my heart and i can't go on ♪ ♪ there are too many minorities ♪ ♪ minorities ♪ ♪ at my water park ♪ ♪ my water park ♪ ♪ this was our land, our dream ♪ ♪ our dream ♪ ♪ and they've taken it all away ♪ ♪ they just keep coming and coming ♪ ♪ minorities ♪ ♪ i tried to go and tell the police ♪ ♪ but even the authorities ♪ ♪ are minorities ♪ ♪ at my water park ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ there's no place for me to sit anymore ♪ ♪ and the lines just keep getting crazier ♪ ♪ there are mexicans all around me ♪ ♪ the lazy river has never been lazier ♪