tv The Daily Show With Trevor Noah Comedy Central October 12, 2022 11:00pm-11:45pm PDT
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a brand-new kenny. [gurgling] - god, this must have been the 50th time this has happened. - 52nd. [man singing in french] ♪ ♪ ♪ ♪ >> coming to you from new york city, the only city in america, it's "the daily show"! today, biden wants to reshape the economy. more voting problems! and, ghetto gastro! this is "the daily show" with
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trevor noah! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> trevor: hey, what's going on, everybody, come to "the daily show," i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for towing and, thank you for coming out in person. so good to see all! you are amazing, this is going to be great. take a seat, take a seat. let's do this thing, we have got a really fun show for you tonight. white people are not white anymore. bears are not who you think they are, and desi lydic uncovers the surprising reason you will be able to vote. let's do this, people, let's jump straight in today's headlines. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ all right. before we get into the big stores, let's catch up on a few other things going on in the world. actually, this entertainment news is from out of this world.
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tom cruise is planning to shoot scenes for a new movie from the international space station. [laughter] which -- good for him. [laughter] is finally getting to work a little bit closer to his home planet. this is nice. it's all about that work-life balance. seriously, people, tom cruise stays winning. he's one of the greatest movie stars and stuntmen, he's doing things that no one has ever done before, just success after success. so... maybe scientology is right? [laughter] i don't know, i'm just putting it out there, and just putting it out there. in other space news, remover how nasa slammed a spaceship into an asteroid to test whether they could change its course? well, yesterday they officially announced it was a success. [cheers and applause] yeah. yeah. the asteroid wasn't actually headed to earth, and they hit it, and now it is. so good work, everyone! yeah.
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i'm not really sure this was all necessary though, to send like the vessel up to hit the asteroid, spend all that money. if we're honest, one immigrant mother could have done the same thing just by holding up a slipper. that's all she needed to do. just be like "come to earth and see what happens i'm a come to earth and see what happens. that's right, turnaround, turn that asteroid around!" [cheers and applause] in sports news, nfl star davante adams of the raiders has now been charged with misdemeanor assault for shoving aside my photographer on monday. luckily, the photographer was attended to by end of l doctors, but he will be fine. he died but the doctors cleared him to play next sunday, they said the game must go on. let's move onto some of the biggest doors of the day come starting up of the major story about the gig economy. you know, the gig economy, the reason you're tendered it had to make a stop to deliver shake shack. over the past decade, more more people have been making a living at jobs where the companies they work for are technically not
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their employers. but now, america's most famous employee might be changing that. >> potential game changer for millions of gig workers, the biden demonstration proposing a new role that would reclassify means of them as company employees. the new rule could have wide-ranging impact on profits at ghetto, lyft commodore , and other companies that rely on contractors without employee label, workers will be eligible for protections like the minimum hourly wage, overtime pay, jobless benefits and workers comp. >> trevor: wow! if i can get this done it's going to shake up the world completely. you realize right now the recent delivery and car apps can take in billions of dollars is partly because you don't technically have employees, which is great for them. it's the same way some people aren't technically in a relationship that they still get all the benefits. [laughter] they get the sleepovers, but then they don't have to take care of you when you're sick, you know? it's just like i'm sorry you're not feeling well, i guess i will see you when you are ready to
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smash, bye! [laughter] [applause] but what biden is suggesting that these companies have to give their workers the benefits that employees would get, and no one deserves it more than them, right? these people are hard workers, they're driving everywhere, they are biking, they're delivering, they are test testing our food before it gets to us. [laughter] this is hard work. so this is a big step for a lot of people in the gig economy. but don't forget, there are drawbacks to being considered an employee. yeah. like for instance, people singing you happy birthday at work. yeah. you will love it initially but once they start on the "how old are you now, how old are you," you will be like i have health care, but at what cost? [laughter] let's move onto some news news about the midterms. reason your inboxes now full of emails with the subject line "send me $4 or i'll kill myself was good! let's catch up on some of the tightest races in our ongoing coverage of votedemic 2022.
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[applause] ♪ ♪ right now any single senate race in america could determine which party could take control of the senate, giving them the power to get nothing done for the next two years. [laughter] few races are closer right now than the one in pennsylvania. on the public inside you have dr. oz, famous tv doctor and proof that even oprah makes mistakes. [laughter] and on the democratic side you have john fetterman, former lieutenant governor and dude was just going off in the mosh pit. if this race has hinged on a number of issues like crime, abortion, and fact that dr. oz has only lived in pennsylvania for less than two years, which -- is that even a real pennsylvanian? has this dude even been in a fist fight in a parking lot at? but now question has begun to take center stage in a race, john fetterman's health. back in may, fetterman suffered a stroke and even though he's
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back on the campaign trail, he still hasn't fully recovered and now his first major interview since the stroke has everyone talking. >> can voters trust that you will be able to do this job on day one? >> yeah, of course. >> this is penciling a democratic senate candidate john fetterman's first in person, sit down interview since a stroke sidelined him from the campaign trail for months. >> that auditory processing where i'll hear someone speaking but sometimes it'll be precise on what exactly they're saying. i use captioning. >> his campaign required that he be allowed to use a transcript and program on his computer during our interview. >> i was thought i was pretty empathetic -- emphatic. i think it was very -- excuse me, empathetic. you know, that's an example of the stroke. empathetic. i always thought it was very empathetic before having a stroke, now after having that stroke, i really understand, you know, much more kind of the challenges that americans have
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day in and day out. >> trevor: so yeah, this interview came out, and now you are beasley got people on the right saying fetterman forgot a word and he can't understand speech so he's not fit for the senate. and look, this is politics, so i get it, people will jump on any weakness to give their party an advantage. i understand that. but... let's be real, people. if stumbling over a word every now and again disqualified you from politics... [laughter] america wouldn't have had a president for the past six years. [laughter] [cheers and applause] let's be honest. in fact -- in fact, at least fetterman acknowledged that he messed up the word and he corrected himself. biden wouldn't have noticed, and he would have just -- "man" and can you imagine trump gimmick trump wouldn't even acknowledge -- trump would have tried to convince us that he actually got the word right buried he will be like "i always knew that i was emphatic -- and i was buried and also in
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pathetic. i was emphatically empathetic and so emphatic about being empathetic, emphatic about emphysema -- do we love emphysema, folks? we love it so much!" and also, as for needing to read captions because he has a troubled understanding of speech now, i don't know, is that really a deal breaker? if you asked me, i think america needs more people in politics who actually know how to read. maybe that's just how i see it. [laughter] if anything -- if anything, meeting captions is super relatable these days. yeah. have you tried watching house of dragon without captions? as a possible. half the characters have the same name. "tell aemond to get rhaenys -- but don't tell us errors, he will self -- did you get that? no i didn't, i didn't know what that was. [cheers and applause] i'm not vouching for fetterman over dr. oz or anything like
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that but i do think this whole debate is veering into the territory of saying that people with disabilities cannot be lawmakers, which is trash. all rights gimmick especially since america already has disabled lawmakers serving right now. [cheers and applause] it shouldn't be disqualifying. dan crenshaw is missing and i. tammy duckworth lost both her legs, and mitch mcconnell, he's literally melting all the time. [laughter] but has he let that hold him back? no! he gets up every day and he vows to keep on working until the moment his face slides right off of his skull. "that's right, i will not tie my skin into a ponytail." [laughter] now, even though the senate is getting the most attention, there's also a heated race for mayor of los angeles, where congressman karen bass is facing off against real estate tycoon rick caruso, and in their final debate last night, there was one moment that got everyone's attention. and it's when the moderator mentioned that karen bass is a person of color and then rick
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caruso said "may too." >> and this question goes for the both of you. the next mayor of los angeles will be either an african american woman or a white man. >> i'm italian. >> italian-american. >> thank you. that's latin. thank you. [laughter] >> trevor: it you're not white, your latin? get the [bleep] out of here, man! what is that? what is that? [applause] we all know what this is about, right? this guy is running in los angeles, so now he is saying "i'm italian, which is a latin link which, so i'm basically latino, right?" [laughter] and look, i'm not claim to be an expert, but if you tell someone you're grabbing "latin" food, i think the be pretty mad when you come back with olive garden. right? we can all agree on that. so i think we can all agree that rick caruso is just bullshitting
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here. because i promise when he gets pulled over by the cops, he's not like "hola, officer, what is the problem, signor?" what's funny is when they came to america, italians weren't considered white but then they fought for like a hundred years to change that. and let's be honest, any debate was definitely over by the time the "mario" trailer came out last week. because chris pratt is out here like "it is i, mario." [laughter] so the senate races are heating up, the mayoral races are heating up, but it turns out, even in the animal kingdom, my friends, elections are being fought tooth and nail. >> an update on fat bear week, the popular bracket that has been rocked by a big cheating scandal. so each are people vote on the beef he has to bear in alaska's katmai national park before hibernation season. the national park tweeted "like bears stuff their face with fish, our ballot box too has
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been stuff." there were thousands of fake boats forbear 747 come in but even with the fake boats removed from 747 weighed in at 1400 pounds and still won the semifinal round. now kevin 47 will face off against bear 901 for the final round. voting starts this morning. [laughter] >> trevor: yes, my friends. it appears that a voting scandal has tainted the dignity... [laughter] of fat bear week. and don't you dare laugh. don't you laugh! we cannot trust the sinking of the fat bear vote, and what can we trust! [laughter] i honestly don't understand this. who would even care about a fat bear election to try and cheat and stuff the ballot box? who is this person who is like "echo to rick this" -- why? the fattest bear doesn't get any power if it wins. it's not like a bear is going to win election and then cut texas -- i'm going to use my caustic up the texas and now for the zoning laws.
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what you doing? and by the way, i feel like the stories on was the perfect encapsulation of american culture, right? because when other countries engage with nature, there's a reverence. it's like "the mighty brown bear wary of the coming chill hungers down for the winter months." [laughter] but with america it's like i'm quite look at this chunky boy! look at him! he is so chunky, i just wanted -- dude! oh, my god! just ate my arm, take a picture!" that's all for the headlines. let's check in with our finance expert, michael kosta, everybody! [cheers and applause] michael, what is happening in the market today? >> well, like a fat bear on a scale, i'm crushing it, everybody. and i've got a hot tip for you. i got a hot tip for you. before we get into this, fat bear week. here's a question. why are people voting? we have the information from the scale.
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doesn't that tell us who the fattest bear is? my the only one watching this story? we have a scale, the scale tells us who the fattest bear is. there's no need to vote. officer, officer, i know your radar gun says i was going 100, but can we just take a vote on this first? come on. [laughter] 's call it what it is, trevor, these bears, they are depressed. think about it, they overeat, they sleep for months, it always seem upset, they freak out when you point a hunting rifle at their cub. they are unhinged, dude! >> trevor: that's an interesting way to see bears. to go to want to talk about money? >> trevor: let's talk about money. >> let's talk about money. uber and lyft -- i'm an expert on this topic. i use uber black because i'm an ally. that's for you. that's not a joke! that's not a joke! [applause] okay. as you can see on this chart, after president biden announced that gig workers should be
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considered employees, uber and lyft shares have taken a ride of their own. now, this chart also perfectly demonstrates my enjoyment of making conversation with my uber driver, okay? at the beginning, it's fine. you know? offers me a mensch, gives a bottle of water for a baby, but look, it starts to drop right here when he asked me to come sit up front. and another big drop in value again when he finds out i work at "the daily show" and asks me if i'm the guy the cost of the trump rallies. but look, his value increases when i learn he used to be a doctor and i can ask him free medical questions. but it turns out he's actually just a chiropractor so he loses all his value, but then i find out that he has prescription meds in his trunk for me, so it goes back up. and you know, mikey likey. [cheers and applause] thank you. i offered you a hot tip, and it's usually a financial tip, but if you like i have to explain this because it keeps
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happening to me. if you are my uber driver and i fall asleep in the backseat, do not try and wake me up, i will bite you. okay? back to you, trevor, my brother! >> trevor: michael kosta, everybody! when we come back, another thing that is wrong with americans elections. don't go away. [cheers and applause]
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♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! you know, with all the recent accusations of ballot rigging and fat bear fraud, it is no surprise that americans have become less confident in their elections, but as desi lydic discovers in her new series, america's election infrastructure may be in even worse shape than you think. >> hi.
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i am peabody award wanting investigative journalist desi lydic. elections, they are the bedrock of democracy and the only thing preventing us from... not having elections. what is america's election system reliable or are we one glitchy voting machine away from a total collapse? i will investigate in our new segment, votedemic 2022, our crumbling election infrastructure. after our nation's last elections went super smooth... >> dozens of voters locked out of the one single polling place where all of louisville reports. >> reports of hours of long lines, voting machine malfunctions, provisional ballot shortages, officials are looking at calling in the national guard. >> i wanted to find out how ready we are for the midterms, so i'm headed to our nation's capital to talk with election advocates at the democracy found. >> my name is tammy patrick, i'm a senior advisor to the elections team at the democracy fund, which seeks to ensure that we have an open and just democracy that is inclusive and
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trustworthy for all of our citizens. >> oh. sounds like you got your work cut out for you. >> we do. in this moment is a lot of work to be done, but it may not be in areas that necessarily we think it is. speak all right, what are all the problems for this upcoming election? >> so we continue to see a shortage of poll workers, the global supply chain issues, underfunding of our election and for structure -- >> wait, wait, tammy, let's start with the most pressing issue. >> one of the most pressing issues at this moment because of where we are in the election cycle is a paper shortage. >> paper? paper? tammy, it's 2022, who is using paper to vote? >> so the vast majority of americans actually cast a paper ballot. >> yeah, no, i knew that. i vote every election. i got the stickers to prove it. >> well, that's great, but election offices all around this country have ordered their
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ballots, they've ordered envelopes, the order paper materials that they need, and they may not get them in time for the upcoming election. >> who's going to be affected by this paper shortage most? >> what it looks like is going to happen will be those small election offices serving rural communities where they don't have a large service provider that's helping them take care of this issue. >> are you saying that the rural -- rural community -- rural. rural -- amazing that right? world. the rural -- okay, you know what i'm saying. >> is a learned about this large swath of americans -- >> rural. >> i realized this paper shortage could affect a lot of people. >> i guess i've got to go find some paper people. >> wait, there's more to talk about. >> can it! >> can't america just sneaks in printer paper home from work like the rest of us? i want to run back election services, one of the largest ballot printing facilities, to get an inside look at how dire
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the paper shortage is buried >> we print the ballots for several states and counties across the nation. we are in 23 states, plus washington, d.c., with some of our products. >> wow, so you are a huge part of the voting process. >> we touch roughly 45 to 50% of the voters. >> you touch a lot of voters? >> yet. >> but with consent. >> absolutely. >> what's going on with this paper shortage? >> it started during covid. when the paper no shutdown they couldn't generate more paper so they sold through all their inventory and then when they started going back to work they converted to minor board for cardboard boxes. amazon still needs to ship things. and now we don't have the inventory any longer, so they are trying to play catch up. >> there's a paper shortage happening right now? 's people yes. >> jeff, i don't know how to tell you this, but i see a [bleep] ton of paper around here. >> what you see on our production for is a fraction of what we need for the whole year. every day we will go through 65 of those roles.
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>> 65 of these roles? >> yes. >> jesus. >> historically we can order paper and into to three weeks we would have a. now it's 3-4 months or more and that's been the problem this year. >> how that are we talking? like we might need to start printing double-sided bad or the majority of americans won't get to choose their president back? >> let's hope it doesn't get to that. everybody is working to avoid that very problem, but we already do print double-sided ballots, so we arty print on both sides of the paper. >> jeff, that means it's bad! >> kind of. >> walk me through everything that would be affected if the election community runs out of paper. >> if there's no paper, it's hard to mail ballots. envelopes. i voted stickers -- >> voting stickers? voting stickers could be gone? >> could be. >> but the sticker is the best part of voting. the only reason i vote! >> could also do digital stickers. instead of getting the physical sticker, you get a digital sticker when you vote.
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>> jeff, that's the dumbest thing i've ever heard. >> fair enough. >> i just have a few more questions. no. yes! what can americans do to help with the paper shortage? >> stop wasting paper. >> cursive, why am i writing in cursive? stop. wasting. paper. all right, do you want to take me on a tour? cue mexico sure! >> ready to go to work. >> let's go. you're going to wear a hard hat? >> yeah, that's what you do, right? >> no. >> it was time to roll up my sleep so i didn't get ink on them. gross. this paper pallas was pumping, and it turns out there's a lot more to printing and just
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hitting control p. >> this is where it all starts, we get the file to the county, the pdfs, so we can start the print process. >> let me ask a question, does pdf really stand for "please don't [bleep]" q mexico no. >> i could really understand are crucial paper was to the process. >> every roll of paper will generate about a thousand ballots. when we are running election, we will be running 24 hours a day, seven days a week. >> these 120 for hours a day? >> yes. >> was happening? >> this machine just ran out of paper. >> happening already. >> avon presented jeff with some of my own solutions to stop the shortage. ♪ ♪ >> so this is the inserter, where the ballots, the i voted sticker, the instructions go into the envelope. >> you say the stickers? >> the stickers coming us. >> these ones right here? >> yes. >> wow. >> so even if a paper shortage doesn't ruin america's democracy, at least i'll be able to participate in the most
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important part of the voting process. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> trevor: thank you so much for that, desi. stay tuned, because when we come back, i will be talking to a trio of chefs who are making gourmet food ghetto. don't go away. [applause] these days, money just doesn't go as far as it used to. we can all use a little help, financially. at ally, you earn 10x more interest on your money.
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[cheers and applause] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show"! my guests tonight of the founders of the bronx based collective, ghetto gastro. they are here to talk about their new book, "black power kitchen," which comes out on october 25th is available for preorder -- preorder right now, let's
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welcome lester walker, jon gray, and pierre serrao! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> trevor: welcome! >> we are out here! >> trevor: you're deftly outer, welcome to the show, john newman. >> thanks having us buried >> trevor: it feels like it's been too long. >> it's been a minute. >> trevor: error member meeting you in my mind was blown. it not just by the food you cooked but the stories are told, the way you encapsulated people's cultures, the identities, everything to something we take for granted every day, which is food. let's start at the very beginning, the inception of it all, ghetto gastro. some people have a negative connotation of ghetto. and then gastro has this culinary idea behind it, but you took it and you flipped it. i'd love to know why you chose that name. >> we know opposites attract, and is a multidisciplinary business, we want to use food as a vehicle to tell stories about
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culture, politics, empowerment, mainly we are using our creative energy to up black and brown communities. >> trevor: i love that. yeah. [cheers and applause] in the way you do it -- the way you do it is by leveling up, i mean, food from all over the world. i've eaten your food, and i'm not in gassing you up, you are member this. i ate the food and i was like man, new york is the best food in the world, and i stumbled on a few places and i was like these guys tricked me. new york has great food but you really take it up to another level. if created something that's truly special and everyone that talks about your collective talks about it with a level of excitement, pride, and joy, because that's what you encapsulated. you know, you take food and you create a story from it. why do you think it is so important to do that? >> we break bread to build bridges. [applause] >> trevor: yeah. >> we break bread to build
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bridges and for us it's really important for people to understand that the food that we eat and how important it is will be put into our bodies. so we are making conscious food, high vibrational food, you know, food that is a life force, you know, straight from the source. plants. >> the pan african pantry. >> trevor: i love that. i actually love that. >> from the soil to the oil. >> trevor: i like that a lot. [applause] you know what i love most about it is -- what i love about this cookbook, and a lot about the stories is, first of -- >> crookbook. not a cookbook. >> trevor: a crookbook? i like that! >> $10 million worth in there. >> trevor: it deserves a different name because it contains every -- you expect the recipes, right? you don't expect with they will be but you expect recipes. but this book contains arch. you have beautiful images by artists who have shaped, you know, hip-hop and communities around america and the world. it feels like even fused more than just the food, but the people that would engage the ard
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the food and that in and of itself is an interesting choice. why involve others in your arch? >> when you figure about food, you think about nourishment, it's really about nourishing the mind, body, and the soul. we have the combined needs, the arts, the music, the design aspect. you know, the fashion. >> for us it's community builds immunity, so we like to work with our peers and people that we love and that we trust to create pieces of art that will last and stand the test of time. >> trevor: you do that with your food as well. you've never been afraid of sparking conversation, never been afraid of using your food to comment on what's happening society. there was a dish that i'm a member hearing about. it was "american as apple pie." >> american -- >> kkk, right? and it was deconstructed apple pie and it had a chalk outline on the plate. it was a graphic image, you know, to think about when you're having a dessert, and get it was a commentary on what people oftentimes ignore about america. >> yeah.
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food is a vehicle for us, it's an artistic expression for us to express our feelings and our thoughts and we do it on a plate, and sometimes it might make people uncomfortable but that's what art is, we are supposed to spark conversation and make you think deeper into all of the things that are happening. it's not just eating, it's food for the mind as well. >> trevor: we've also not been afraid to challenge some of the ideas. you know, people of soul food. people have ideas of how black people each. we talked about this many years ago, but a lot of how black people eat has been defined by necessity as opposed to choice. and what you've done is you've, you've said we are not scrapping these ideas, we are not getting rid of what black people have created in the culture, but what we want to do is improve on it, we want to great worlds where the food doesn't define our diets. you've chosen to go with health, you've chosen to go with a lot of vegetable-based diets, you really chosen to speak to something. i would love to know why those recipes. >> high vibration cuisine, like
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you mentioned earlier, we don't call food desert, we call it food apartheid because it's not a natural occurrence. this is social engineering, areas that have been underestimated, under invested in and exploited. so there's a reason why people don't have access to fresh food, but we want to show examples of how we can make it culturally relevant, push it forward and make it nutritious and deli delicious. health is wealth. [applause] >> trevor: do you find... do you find you are able to break through? you know, there's this idea sometimes of what a black man should eat. half of my friends will come if i give them a plate of salad or something, they will say if there's no meat, not getting it, this is bull shit. do you find that your record stomach recipes -- >> it's conscious cuisine, taking accountable calories and we want to highlight that, especially in the neighborhoods that we are from that are suffering from -- that are just in desperation of healthy food.
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>> trevor: right. >> we want to change the sort of connotations in the context around the food in our communities and what we eat, so talk about what black men should be eating, we want to show our community what we should be eating. if you want to perform at a high level, you've got to take things in that are going to help you do that. so like we keep saying, high vibrational food. no low vibrations over here, you know, it's always high vibes. nutrient-tents, plants, they are the primary source of protein, so you want to talk about protein, eat some kale, some quinoa, some sweet potatoes, some chick peas, talk to me. [laughter] >> would still got some torque and jerk chicken in there. so it's the balance. it's like twerk and jerk. the black power -- using african grains, mill it, amaranth, so we really want to have this cultural collision, looking at the ingredients to the americas, the ingredients of africa, the ingredients of asia, and creating this combustion of
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something brand-new. >> trevor: you've also taken it's one another level because were not just creating on the streets, but you are not just grading and communities, you are also infiltrating areas that haven't generally been infiltrated by faces like yours. you have a line of cookware that's out there and some of the biggest brands, you've got waffle makers. i left a note -- waffle mix. >> don't slip on the drip. >> trevor: you're giving everyone in the audience waffle mix, right? [cheers and applause] for real. >> we were watching between scenes -- i was like hold up, we can't let the big oh just own this getting something when you leave so everybody's got a mercedes outside. we are just joking. >> trevor: [laughs] >> get your fix, you know? >> trevor: every guest of my needs to bring something for the people! can i just say, it has been a joy knowing you, it's been a joy seeing the journey, congratulations on every moment, every success. thank you so much for joining us. >> thank you! [cheers and applause] >> trevor: thank you so much! thank you, so much!
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>> let a little different silk city. >> do read buried >> trevor: you've got my do rag? [cheers and applause] you've got it and everything! >> let it go. >> trevor: am going to wear the stomach. >> you've got to get it braided back. >> trevor: "black power kitchen" is available for preorder, make sure you get it. we are going to take a quick break, we will be right back after this. ghetto castro, everybody! [cheers and applause]
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[cheers and applause] >> trevor: that's our show for tonight, but before we go, i wanted to remind you, "the daily show"'s official votedemic 2022 murch has just dropped. proceeds from select items will benefit head count, a nonprofit, nonpartisan organization that promotes voter registration. so if you want to support head count and look fresh on election day, scan the qr code or head to the link below. until next time, stay safe out there, and remember: if you think a bear is cheating, just let it slide, it's not worth it.
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it is, your moment of zen. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> i remember a very famous pollster. he said sir, if george washington and abraham lincoln came alive from the dead and they formed a president, vice president team, you would beat them by 40%. >> i am alive, and we are running against you, bitch. >> i will be president, you are the vice. >> i'm president, i'm washington. >> and i'm lincoln. >> i'm roosevelt! >> shut up, roosevelt! ♪ from comedy central, this is stephen colber presents "tooning out the news." grubhub, we underpay our drivers and pass the savings on to us.
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