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tv   The Daily Show With Trevor Noah  Comedy Central  October 20, 2022 1:15am-2:00am PDT

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- i am so disappointed in myself. teacher gave me a responsibility. i was just supposed to look after my partner, and i blew it. - don't be too hard on yourself, butters. you can't help being a douche bag. wait, butters. look! this is it. this is our chance! swing over, butters. go! - [grunts] both: heh! - quick. are you ready? we got to jump! - let's do it! - ready? go! [both grunt] - what about you? will you tell us the access code, or do you want to see this kid die? - i'm sorry, i'm a woman, and women in our time ain't allowed to know the carr'ings on of the town propa! - god damn it!
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- dude, they're gonna kill kenny! - i can't let them do it. i've got to make the ultimate sacrifice. - stan? - where are you going, stan? - wendy, i have to do something. please look away. - all right, that does it. on the count of three, this child dies. one, two... - give them the freaking door code! - well, howdy, thar, strangers! sorry to interrupt ye, but i done come from pagosa springs to buy me some wares and sich. - oh, welcome, partner! - howdy! - welcome! - howdy, there! - what--what are you doing? - i heard y'all had some difficulty with a criminal gettsin' out of yer jail. - that's right, murderin' murphy! he's crazy 'cause someone killed his paw. - they killed my paw ! - i reckon that maybe you could make a jail door that opened with numbers instead of keys. you know, like a big safe.
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- yeah, i understand that. - finally, a fella that talks some sense! - iffen y'all was to have such a giant safe, what would you villagers want the number to be to unlock that thar jail door shuck 'em up? - oh, well, i reckon the easiest number to remember for any big safe door lock would be...1864. - yup, 1864, 'cause that's the year it is. - 1864. orlich, we have the door code. start packing up. we'll take the hostages with us. - no, you got your door code. let us go! - copy that. what's the code? over. - sweet, there's still cops looking for us in here. all right, follow my lead, butters. oh, man, hasn't this place been fascinating, butters? - yeah, it sure has. - oh, i just don't know what i've liked better, the historical buildings and artifacts or the...or the, uh... - or the witty anecdotes of the townspeople. - witty anecdotes, yes, that's been-- that's been awesome. - been a hoot, all right! - get your hands behind your head. - what did we do? we've been here the whole time. - shut up. put your hands behind your head! do it now!
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let go of each other! - huh-uh. - do what i tell you! - our teacher said we have to hold hands the whole time we're here! - let go, or else i'll put a bullet through your hands and make you let go! - butters. - now! - no! [grunts] [gunfire] - jesus christ! [explosion] [both scream] - go! go take care of it! i'll stay with the hostages! - hey, murderin' murphy, you see that there feller? - yeah. - he done killed yer paw. - what? i'll rip his head off! [screams] - we've got a chance! hostages are clear! - they're coming in! [gunfire] - agh! - argh!
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[all screaming] - move! move! move! - hostages are secure at the park entrance! - i gots you now, pioneer paul! - they should have never let you out of jail, murderin' murphy! [both grunting] - blargh! - freeze, scumbag! it's all over! [guns cocking] - [gagging] - murderin' murphy's gonna kill pioneer paul! - stop right now! it's over! - [gagging] [chimes ringing] - howdy, partners. it's 5:00. pioneer village is now closed for the day. head back to your wagons, and have a safe trip home. - we made it! - we made it! [all cheering] - we did it! oh, god, i can't wait - to get out of this dress. - whoo-hoo! - yeah, that was great! - what a day! - uh, listen, if anyone still wants to know, the phone is in the administration building. you dial 9 to get out. and there's actually a back exit behind the horse troughs.
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good night, everybody. thanks for comin'. we did it, guys! - let's go to t.g.i. fridays and get some jalapeño poppers! - yeah, that'd be great! - all right! - oh, yeah, jalapeño poppers! - let's go! [police radio chatter] - stan, you were really brave in there, but you did kind of sound like a big dork. - i know. - come on, you! - you're hurting my arm! - too bad! you'll be going away for a long time. was it worth it? - in a way, it was. i might not have gotten away, but at least i learned a lot about pioneer life in the old west. those early settlers didn't have the modern conveniences we all take for granted today. to think how difficult it was back in those times to do something as simple as washing your clothes. pioneer village has a lot to teach us all. - that's true. - hey, look. - [groaning]
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teacher, my partner is back on the bus. captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com >> announcer: coming to you from new york city, the only city in america, it's "the daily show." tonight... britain's prime minister is in trouble. the end of free returns. and brandi carlile! this is "the daily show with trevor noah." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> trevor: what's going on, everybody? welcome to "the daily show." i'm trevor noah. thank you so much for tuning in. thank you coming out in person. thank you! look at you! all of you look amazing! take a seat. let's do this, everybody. i can feel it.
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we are going to have a great show tonight. slapping is going professional, the girl scouts are ballin' out, and england is having buyer's remorse. plus, here to talk about ■her nw album and perform a song from it: brandi carlile is joining us on the show. let's do this, people, let's head straight in today's headlines. [cheers and applause] all right. before we get into the big stories, let's catch up on a few other things going on in the world. starting with big news coming out of the world of sports. the nfl has announced that for the first time ever come of the legal schedule a game on the day after thanksgiving, a.k.a., black friday. yeah. and i'm surprised they are doing this because i thought that the nfl will be busy on black friday scouting walmart for new talent. you know? like, let's give her a two year deal, she just took over a kid. and i love how the league made this big announcement like is a genius idea.
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"ooh, football on black friday! it's genius!" yeah, it's football. put it on any day it works. it is football. it's like saying, "ooh, sex on a tuesday! brilliant idea!" it's good whenever, don't overthink it. in money news, u.s. quarters going into circulation next week will feature a portrait of 1930s movie star anna may wong, the first asian-american to ever appear on american currency. which is great news for the representation and great news forbade tippers. "you only tipped me a quarter!" "wow, okay, didn't know i was dealing with a racist." which quarter? in international news, liz truss is now the lowest polling prime minister in history and is in danger of losing her job after six weeks.
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when asked, she said, any woman can break the glass ceiling, i'm proud to have shattered the glass floor. starting with the girl scouts of the usa, the semi legal cartel of baked goods. one girl scout has stepped in with the ultimate good deed. >> the girl scouts of the usa just received their largest donation ever by a single person single person billionaire philanthropist mackenzie scott just donated $84.5 million to the organization. the girl scouts leadership says that the money will help them recover from the pandemic, which drove ground membership. scott has donated some $12 billion to charities since 2019. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: wow! wow. thanks to mackenzie scott, the girl scouts are now bawling out of control! which is great. it is great. because the girl scouts do an amazing job of training a new generation of leaders, providing a community. although i will say, they got to be careful because this kind of money could easily change your
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vibe. yeah, this year, the earning badges for computer coding and rock climbing. next year, it is going to be badges for tax evasion. discovering that the cayman island are superior to panama. i am joking. i am joking. the girl scouts will be selling cookies. they are just going to be doing it out of the back of a bentley now. "buy them or don't. we don't care either way, you broke-ass bitch!" and as for mackenzie scott, how can you not love this woman? because she is exposing what billionaires don't want you to realize. billionaires always like, if you raise my taxes even a little bit, how will i have the money to feed all of my private jets? but think about it, mackenzie scott has only been a billionaire for three years and she has already given away $10 million more than her ex jeff bezos has given his whole life!
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and get this. get this. she is still a billionaire! don't forget that. just goes to show how much good you can do when your main priority isn't going to space in a mad giant metal penis. shows what you can do. let's move on to some big sports news. for a decade, boxing dominated the world of price i think him with an mma with a roundhouse kick and became a worldwide phenomenon. now we might be witnessing the birth of a new era. >> slap fighting: it's become a viral sensation over the past few years, and now, ufc president dana white is starting a league. >> he got approval yesterday for it to be a licensed athletic competition in nevada. his power slap league will be regulated by the nevada state athletic commission. and as you can guess, slap fighting features two competitors across from one another, throwing slaps with open hands to each other's faces. the sport has been around for several years but never regulated until now.
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>> trevor: yeah, that's right. slapping is about to become an official sport. and those big dudes might be that champs for now but it's only a matter of time before this board is dominated by immigrant moms. "sit on the couch!" i don't know about you, but i am excited to see how the nevada athletic commission plans to regulate the rules of the sport. like, are you allowed to flinch? can i use my moves from school? is bill smith the reigning champ? is that how it works? you know what i would propose? i would propose to make this board more exciting? you know how in wrestling, they trash talk to get people going and in boxing, they do the way in, what they should do for slap fighting as they should have each fighter say something first that warrants i'm getting slapped.
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like, "i never liked your mother's cooking." by the way, by the way, i like that there are more and more sports that divorced men can excel at. getting slapped. eating 100 hotdogs. we're, like, two weeks away from there being a sport that's just "sleeping on your friend's pull-out couch." 12 days, he is still on the couch, people. this is why he is the goat. and i know people look at this and think this is just a bizarre idea for a sport, every sport probably sounds weird when you first hear about it. pick any sport. nascar. imagine that first conversation. "so we're all gonna drive really fast in a big circle?" "yeah." "but what if i lose control and crash into the wall?" "well, that's what we're hoping for." finally, everyone knows that the internet has made shopping easier than ever. sometimes i get packages without
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even ordering them! i mean, sure, they accidentally put the boxes on my neighbor's stoop, but hey, it's free, i can't complain. but this year, online shopping will be a little less easy than before. >> as holiday shopping season approaches, you may find something a little bit different this year. returning gifts may not be so easy or cheap anymore. >> buyers beware, free returns may soon be a thing of the past. >> the cost of returns is becoming so astronomical for retailers right now they have no choice but to pass that cost on to the consumer. >> one reason for the new return fees is an increase in what's called bracketing. that's when a consumer buys the same clothes in several different sizes and colors with plans to return what they no longer want. the national retail federation reports $218 billion worth of online purchases were returned in 2021. that is more than double the amount in 2020.
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as a result, some major retailers are now adjusting their return policies, including h&m, which is now testing a return fee in certain places. >> trevor: no! no, no, no, no! no! how are you going to charge people for returns? if i want to make a rash decision on a whim and want to change my mind, i shouldn't have to pay for it. that is the whole point of america! [cheers and applause] that is what this great nation is about! make decisions, you think i look at in this jacket, you know what, never mind. i think it would look good on the rack. you know what, never mind. you know what i blame for this? i blame the democrats, yeah. they should have codified the rights to free returns when they had a super majority! in other news, free internet returns, that means that we will have to go back to the old way, you remember the old way?
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if you wanted to return a shirt, he would have to drive all the way to the store, you would have to wait in line, look at the cashier in the eye and try to convince them that they shared was already burnt when you bought it. "they must have already made it like this." actually, you know what, i blame the clothing stores for all of these returns in the first pl place. we wouldn't be forced to order all these different sizes if each clothing store didn't choose to have their own sizing system! [cheers and applause] in some stores, you're a medium. and another store, you are a 6. in some stores, if you are usually a medium, you want to go with a large. then just call me a large! "our sizes run small." can you imagine if i had a pizza store and you ordered a large and i gave you one slice and i said, our pies run small pair for that conversation would end with a championship slap fight.
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all right, that is it for the headlines. before we go to break, let's check in with traffic where there were very own roy wood jr., everybody! [cheers and applause] >> get out of there, there you go, there you go. get up out of there, boy. get up out of there. there you go. >> trevor: roy, what are you doing? >> traffic. the traffic here. >> trevor: are you watching a cow being chased by the cops? >> i don't know but i am rooting for him. we'll do the rest of the traffic, before i get to the rest of the traffic, let's just talk a little bit about this whole giving the money to the girl scouts. >> trevor: it's amazing story, $86 million. >> yes, it's good to give away $86 million but do the girl scouts -- they are making money flipping them cookies. they are good. you need to give the money to the boy scouts. the boy scouts are the ones that
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are needing the money, they've been selling popcorn for decades and they are still broke. they are broke. the boys going to need money r&d, research and solution to sell. the boy scouts could sell the e-cigarettes. or the boy scouts sold e-cigarettes in girl scout cookie flavors? [auaudience reacts] bitch, a dose eight oh flavored, everybody loves a thin mint, if you could smoke a thin mint? that is cool. [cheers and applause] that is cool. mackenzie scott wants to give the money to the girl scouts, that's cool, giving money to all the individual troops, millions of dollars, i will have a troop. >> trevor: you mean, you have one? i will be ready for that. i will talk to the camera right
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there. madame mckenzie. how are you doing? i am roy wood jr., girl scout troop leader 6325. my friend m venmo is supposed to be up there. >> trevor: we are not going to add it, roy, do the traffic. >> i will do the traffic. you know what, man, shout out to anna may wong, the agent on the money, which is cool, that's a nice place to start but why would you put them on the quarter? put them on the dollar bill! put somebody on the dollar bill. let's be real about this shit. one of the last time you used a quarter? soda machine from a pay phone? the only time the people use a quarter is a laundromat and a strip club. everybody knows that. >> trevor: wait, wait, i get the laundromat. why would you use -- >> don't ask me nothing about that on tv. what i'm saying is, good for
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anna may wong because finally we got some more minority representation on american money just in time for apple pay. >> trevor: i see what you did. >> speaking of money, returns the nonsense for the clothes. i don't think people should be having to pay these return fees, take some of the outcome the fees add up. i could return close for years. everything i performed in tv, that shit goes right back. i'm not even lying to you. '0 to come '03, bro, i was starving. every time i did k conan o'brie, i would take that shit right back to macy's and it was perfect. in l.a., you could go to macy's at 10:00 in the morning, get your outfit, you are done by 6:00, you are back at macy's by 7:30 returning your shit. then you are watching our self perform and clothes you don't even own no more. that is the move, man, because
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also these return fees add up. i don't think you understand how unfair it is to charge somebody money to give back somebody's money. you can't do that to people! circuit city used to do that shit to me that committee with cameras. back in the day, circuit city, i would buy a camera for the $50, keep it for a couple days, use it for a couple shows, you would go back and they would want a $50 restocking fees because i didn't have that thomas and i got to go out and donate plasma for days in a row just to make that -- was illegal. you are only supposed to donate plasma twice a week, take off, drink fluids, but i had to pay the restocking fee, just to get the $50 to return the camera! [cheers and applause] >> trevor: roy, roy -- >> they sold their body for money, they understand. >> trevor: why do you need a camera so badly that you are willing to do all that? >> i had to make the audition tape to get on conan o'brien. >> trevor: okay, that seems --
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are you healthy now? does that affect you? >> no, man, i feel pretty good for the most part. >> trevor: let's get to the traffic. >> i would get to the traffic but i will be honest with you, i got to get to macy's right click. [cheers and applause] got to get up to 57th street. >> trevor: roy wood jr., everybody. all right, when we come back, i'll be talking to the legendary brandi carlile. so don't go away. [cheers and applause] >> let's talk about this whole thing with woke. woke means never having to say you are sorry. >> woke is racist. >> woke means equity, diversification, gender and racial disparities. >> this wokeness that is happening at madison's madison
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and jefferson's house. >> you know what woke means, you are a loser. >> woke is drag queens and children in church. >> the woke is the new religion of the left. >> the new hip woke is to not like jews. >> what does it mean to be woke? i don't know what the definition of woke so much as. i do know that i think most people don't want to be lectured by companies. >> your paint, it's taking six weeks to get a sample, it is terrible. weeks to get a sample, it is terrible. we used to get it in two weeks. ♪you shook me all night long♪ ♪yeah you shook me all night♪ get 5 boneless wings for just $1 with any burger. only at applebee's. (julian) ugh. geez. (cecily) ironic, edelman struggling with reception. get 5 boneless wings for just $1 with any burger. (julian) two things i hate dropping, balls and calls. (cecily) well you need a better network. time to switch to verizon,
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mack >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a grammy award winning singer, songwriter and musician. she's here to talk about her new deluxe album, "in the canyon haze." which is available right now. please welcome brandi carlile! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]
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♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] welcome to t the show. >> thank you for having me. wow. >> trevor: look at this, they are looking at you, that is what look at this is. i never got to tell you this in person. we were all working at the grammys, but you put on, hands down, one of the greatest live performances human beings have ever witnessed. it was phenomenal. i hope everybody told you this everywhere you went. [cheers and applause] >> thank you. >> trevor: no, because, here's the thing, you are a legend, you've been nominated for countless grammys, you've won countless grammys but you are a consummate performer. it feels like every performer wants to perform with you for that reason. everybody from elton john all the way through to joni mitchell, legends go, "oh,
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brandi carlile." i want to know what that feels like for you. >> it all comes from them, it does. and they have sort of talked me through the years pretty much everything i know about performing and the cool thing with the grammys is that i didn't happen to me when i was so young that it wouldn't be able to really seize the moment. i felt really ready for that moment. >> trevor: interesting. >> i knew, i've got to do this right now. i've got to take this moment and make it mean something in my life for me and my family. >> trevor: you have had a journey that many of your fans have said is long overdue. they've gone, why isn't brandi getting her credit, why isn't she more successful, they love you so much! the industry has caught up, the world has caught up but you do talk about this, how you achieved fame a little later than some musicians who were 16, 17, whatever it may be. if you feel like that prepared you better for the place you are in now? >> yeah, i do, i'm really grateful for that.
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it's funny. i mean, it literally singing for a living so it's probably the greatest job in the world at whatever level you are at. i think i always felt like i was making it and like i was making an impact. but it has definitely taken a turn, that i'm emotionally prepared for because i'm old enough to handle it. it is happen for some of my heroes. bonnie raitt's career was like that, she is someone i really look up to, just how she has conducted herself throughout her career. >> trevor: when you blow up at a certain stage, there is always a balance between maintaining how your fans know you and love to you and then catering to the masses who now want to enjoy the art you are creating. do you find that you have been able to create that balance for yourself? do you still have the intimate brandi carlile and the giant shows? >> i mean, i am so obsessive, i don't even really know how to cater to the fans that love me, you know? my desires are so strong to pursue my own heroes. >> trevor: i really love that.
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>> my love of entertainment, i'm a little too obsessive to see outside of that to know how to cater. not in a way that i am saying, i am too much of an artist for that. >> trevor: no, no, no. >> because i care what people think. i just don't know how to do it. [laughs] >> trevor: that is fascinating. i think it was david bowie who said something similar, something to be effect of, don't play to the rafters. remember why you started playing essentially. it's the idea of creating for yourself, for the joy you first had, and that is essentially why the people became fans. you've got the new album that is out now, and you have done something that few artists would dare to do. and that is, you have remade an album that was critically acclaimed, many regarded as one of the more perfect albums, i would love to know why. >> i mean, there's so many different versions of a song that can exist, and when you're an artist, they exist in your head whether you get a chance to record them or not. when you have an album, you have
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one shot, this will have one life, it will be heard one way. i wanted to do this album as a revision. what would "in these silent days" have sounded like if it was in laurel canyon in the early 1970s? what would we if there was four, five, six part harmony, strings, lushness, steel guitars? and you know, we just did this. we did this at home for the love of it. as a labor of love because we wanted to hear what the album would sound like it that way. i still think that "in these silent days" is the right thing, that is the album i wanted to make but i loved making that one. >> trevor: you tell very personal stories in the album. some of them feel like they happened to you or they feel like everyone feels like they happened to them. you know, you connect with people in the storytelling of your music and yet, every time i have seen you talk about your music, it feels like you don't take credit for it, but you give credit to this larger idea of artists who have inspired you and what they have created and you are part of it and it is this beautiful, humble attitude
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that you have about music itself. it's almost like you treat it like it is magic that comes down and is infused within you. i would love to know, when you talk about mimicking and the artists that inspired you, how do you see music that may be other people don't? >> well, i mean, i do see myself as an artist and i am proud of myself, especially as a singer. so it is not a humble brag or anything, but i am a fan. so i am the kind of fan, i waited outside your tour bus for an autograph. you know what i mean, i kind of knew where you lived. i had -- >> trevor: we are going from stalker to fan. >> i am that kind of fan. >> trevor: you wouldn't go to the house? >> no, no, i would stop short of that. i didn't have my driver's license until i was 20. but i know artists molecularly. i'm interested, it goes beyond just the music, you know? so i just never grew out of that
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even though it is my job now and i know there are people that feel about me, it doesn't scare me. and i still feel that way about my heroes. they are just letting me hang out with them for some reason. and it is probably the greatest honor of my life. don't tell my kids. [laughter] [applause] >> trevor: i really love that. i really, really love that. because it comes across. and what's amazing is that your heroes are fans of you. one of the most amazing moments, people have ever seen in their lives was when joni mitchell, one of the greatest of all time, just truly, one of the greatest of all time, came out on stage. you surprised people with her performance. everyone thought joni wouldn't perform anymore, we know she almost lost her life, she has fought to come back and here she was on stage performing. and it was with you. i mean, that is history being made. do you ever pinch yourself and go, i am part of this? >> i still can't believe it.
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it was just a few months ago. the fact that it was at the newport folk festival, such a monumental, historic place. she always has a plan, we didn't know she was going to do that. we thought it was a jam, she just started singing. we had rehearsed the songs ourselves, and we didn't know whether we should stop or what we should do. so we just sang with her. it turns out, she completely took over the show and became the performer that we all know that she is. and i mean, she'd -- we didn't go to sleep that night. we stayed up until the sun came up, loving what happened. joni flat out, she loves to perform, and she is awesome at it. [applause] >> trevor: when those types of moments happen, everyone goes, you should have been there, you will never get to see it again but i have heard a little
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whisper that maybe something might happen? >> yeah, we get to talk about this right now. so after newport, joni said, i want to do another show, i want to play again, we got to thinking about it, we decided on another venue, which is gorge out in washington state. it is one of the most beautiful venues in the world. it is called echoes through the canyon, i will play the first night and joni and the joni jam will play the second night. >> trevor: no way. >> june 9th and 10th. joni mitchell is going to play. [cheers and applause] no one has been able to buy a ticket to see joni mitchell play in 20 years and this is enormous. this is so exciting because it is close to canada, and i can't believe it is happening, but it is happening, and she is going
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to crush it crush it. if you can get a ticket, get there. >> trevor: wow. that is going to be intense. after the break, we are going to have a performance of yours from the new album and it's interesting because the title of the track really hit home for me. it is "you and me on the rock." it reminded me of bible study with my mom, the foundation that you build a house on versus the sand. and you grew up in a very religious household, didn't you? >> i don't know if it was a household but i found religion around me. it was in the extremities of my family, and i sort of found it later on in life in my own way. sort of came up with my own way to practice my faith. but the concept of you and me on the rock has been with me since i was about six years old, going to sunday school, seeing you can build your house on a rock. >> trevor: i love that you say practice it in my own way because you have talked a little bit about this, but one of the
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many aspects of you that makes you so inspiring and phenomenal and many peoples eyes is that you have blazed the trail. you grew up, as you say, and a religious environment. and you are proudly gay and people go, but its religion, and country music has also had its issues with that, some other genres like rap, et cetera. when you are performing and putting your heart out there and your life out there, are you doing that as catharsis or are you doing it help so many of the other people who have had the journey that you have had in your life? >> definitely both. i can't not to do it. i don't know how to not to do it since i can remember, i have to do that, i have to be in front of an audience and create. whether they like it or not. to exist, you know. but also, i do know how impactful it is because i told you, i'm the girl that waits outside the tour bus because i was so impacted.
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i needed that. particularly, i needed queer icons. [cheers and applause] so you know, when i sing "you and me on the rock" come at the take on a sunday school lesson and i know that it is about me marrying the love of my life, my wife catherine and having those took her little girls and i know that's not exactly what sunday school had in mind for me but i do think it is what god had in mind for me. >> trevor: i love that. [cheers and applause] thank you so much for joining me on the show and being here. i really, really appreciate you. everybody, "in the canyon haze" is available now. when we come back, we will have an exclusive performance from brandi carlile and her wife. you don't want to miss it. [cheers and applause]
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( trick or treat!) and then just don't answer the door. not sorry, reese's. when you can't sleep... try zzzquil pure zzzs gummies. from the world's #1 sleep aid brand. its special formula helps you fall asleep naturally with an optimal dose of melatonin. so you can wake up refreshed. for better sleep, like never before. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." now to perform "you and me on the rock" from her album "in the canyon haze," please welcome back brandi carlile featuring her wife, catherine carlile! [cheers and applause] >> ♪ they build wooden houses on frozen ponds ♪ ♪ in the summertime when the water's gone ♪ ♪ diagonal lines in their rolled-out lawns ♪ ♪ and the sage always smells so pretty ♪ ♪ but nobody cares where the birds have gone ♪ ♪ when the rain comes down on babylon ♪ ♪ the stonemason's phone rings all day long ♪
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♪ and you gotta get back to the city ♪ ♪ i build my house up on this rock, baby ♪ ♪ every day with you ♪ ♪ there's nothin' in that town i need ♪ ♪ after everything we've been through ♪ ♪ me out in my garden and you out on your walk ♪ ♪ is all the distance this poor girl can take ♪ ♪ without listenin' to you talk ♪ ♪ i don't need their money, baby ♪ ♪ just you and me on the rock ♪ ♪ you and me on the rock ♪ ♪ i built paper planes when i learned to fly ♪ ♪ like a 747 fallin' out of the sky ♪ ♪ i folded 'em crooked and now i'm wonderin' why ♪ ♪ i could always end up in the water ♪ ♪ but nobody's askin' why she lookin' so thin ♪ ♪ why she's laughin' too hard, why she drinkin' again ♪ ♪ a falling star, she's a paper plane ♪ ♪ and she was goin' down when you caught her ♪
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♪ i build my house up on this rock, baby ♪ ♪ every day with you ♪ ♪ there's nothin' in that town i need ♪ ♪ after everything we've been through ♪ ♪ me out in my garden and you out on your walk ♪ ♪ is all the distance this poor girl can take ♪ ♪ without listenin' to you talk ♪ ♪ i don't need their money, baby ♪ ♪ just you and me on the rock ♪ ♪ it's an earthquake, it's a hard wind ♪ ♪ it's a record-breakin' tide and it is rollin' in ♪ ♪ it's a big sea, but it can't touch you and me ♪ ♪ it's just a water view ♪ ♪ and what a view ♪ ♪ i don't need their money,

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