it is dangerous to mess with viruses like this. this is smart. because the ice caps are gonna eventually melt, so the quicker we can learn about the viruses inside of them, the quicker we can make a vaccine that no one will take. in some legal news, a florida woman is suing kraft foods over its microwave mac and cheese, arguing that while the box says it's "ready in three and a half minutes," that doesn't include the amount of time it takes to add the water and then wait for the sauce to thicken. and you can laugh, but she's right. i mean, the box doesn't even include the time it takes for me to cry over the fact that i have to eat kraft mac and cheese for dinner. that's at least another 45 minutes! stories like this make you think about, it must be so hard for the lawyer who represents a case like this to discuss their work with their peers. they are sitting in a room, they are like, "i'm working on a case to protect the right to abortion in the south." "yeah, i'm working on the case to shut down a

company that has been poisoning for communities. wash back how about you, alan?" "you know how sometimes mac and cheese takes longer to make than you expect?" all right, let's move on to some of the bigger stories of the day. starting with the ongoing fire storm facing trump, former president and host of the most disturbing dinner since the one jeffrey dahmer had. last week, trump ate dinner at mar-a-lago with kanye west and a prominent white supremacist named nick fuentes. and we don't know exactly what happened at that dinner, except that nobody ordered latkes. but apparently, a lot of republicans don't think it's a great look for the leader of their party to be splitting apps with neo-nazis. >> donald trump facing growing backlash to his dinner last week with prominent white nationalist nick fuentes. republican politicians now among those calling out the former president. >> i think it's clear there's no bottom to the degree to which president trump will degrade himself and the nation. >> well, i think he could make better choices, obviously.

>> that was a bad decision. there's no place for that in the republican party. >> president trump was wrong to give a white nationalist, an anti-semite, and a holocaust denier a seat at the table. i think he should apologize for it and he should denounce those individuals and their hateful rhetoric without qualification. >> let me just say there is no room in the republican party for anti-semitism or white supr supremacy. >> trevor: "that's right, there is no room at all because we are already full. yeah, i mean, we do have room for people who hates, but that's a new one." it is funny watching republicans trying to chastise trump for hanging out with someone who has the same views as them without chastising trump for having those views. here's the thing, i'm willing to

believe that trump didn't know who nick fuentes was when he came to his dinner. as trump, i didn't know, you have to admit, that says a lot about him that he enjoyed this man's company and everything that he had to say. like, if your friend brings darth vader to your house for dinner, that is not your fault. about 15 minutes income any decent person would be like, i'm not comfortable with how much this guy talks about blowing up planets. also, why is he wearing a mask. we have all been tested. and it is nice to see republican officials speak out against trump for a change but we all know how this is going to end. republicans get mad at trump for a little while and then they always get back together with him in the end. trump scandals are basically like hallmark movies, except trump never actually changes and becomes a better person. "donald, either you choose your career or me." >> "i'm choosing my career." 's "okay, you can still have me." but let's move to some news about trains, or as i call them, choo choo trains.

you may think about trains as a form of transport or a place where people gather to solve murders, but they're not just that. it turns out that trains are responsible for carrying billions of dollars in goods across america every year. but over the past few months, railroad workers have been trying to negotiate better working conditions with the railroads, and the dispute has gotten so bad, that now president biden, amtrak joe himself, is stepping in. >> president biden is calling on congress to avert a looming rail strike and impose a settlement that some union members rejected. the president signals a major shift that could eventually put him against his union allies but right now, he says that he was reluctant to get involved in this one but the potential that this could cripple the economy was just too much, a strike could threaten everything from farming and food to crucial criminals for clean water, causing major supply chain disruptions. >> trevor: a railroad strike would just inconvenient passengers, it would devastate the entire economy. that sounds so weird in 2022, doesn't it? railroads feel so old-timey.

"on the railroad." it would devastate the economy. like finding out you are losing your job because the whale hunters' union went on strike. "but i work on computers!" "yeah, well, the internet runs on whale oil. what are you going to do?" now the situation is complex, but basically, some railroad unions are threatening to strike because despite railroad companies making billions in profits, workers 'schedules are so unpredictable that they can't plan their lives and they definitely don't get nearly enough sick days, which they deserve, especially because every few train rides, they have to climb on the roof because they hear a sound and james bond is coming to punch them and take over the train. that's at least a mental health day. it is kind of messed up for joe biden to step in and forbid the workers from striking. that's the one point of leverage workers have. if they can't strike, what are they supposed to do? "all right, we'll run the trains, but when we blow the whistle, it's gonna be kind of sad. too-too..." at the same time, i can see why joe biden is willing to stop the unions from going on strike. he can't have the economy take a hit on his watch.

his administration has enough problems. high interest rates, war in europe, they can't find a sitter for pete buttigieg. times are hard! but if anyone can sell the train crisis, it's joe biden. this man has spent his whole life obsessed with trains. this is his moment! can you imagine? it was made for him. it's like if trump had to solve a crisis involving the mcrib. you know? he just like, "everyone, out of the room. melania, get me the hamburglar on a secure line. we are going to solve this." but this is yet another reminder of all the things happening in the supply chain that we all just take for granted. we take it all for granted. because a banana doesn't just show up in the grocery store. someone grows a tree in costa rica, then it's picked and loaded onto a truck, and then a ship, then another truck, and then a train, and then another truck, and that's when you buy it at the store, put it on your

counter, and let it slowly rot before throwing it in the garbage. and that garbage is picked up by another truck, and then it is shipped back to costa rica. it's actually beautiful when you think about it. the circle of life. [applause] finally, history is full of famous fuchs, -- famous feuds, godzilla versus mothra, swifties versus ticketmaster, or herschel walker versus condoms, elon musk. the world's richest man is now picking a fight with the world's richest company: apple. >> elon musk has a beef with apple. he claims the tech giant has threatened to pull twitter from its app store. a move like that would, of course, crush musk's new company. >> musk tweeting a series of claims against tim cook and company, calling out the iphone maker for pulling back on advertising on the social platform. also complaining about the 15-30% fee that is placed on app developers.

musk also said that apple threatened to remove twitter from its app store as part of its review moderation process. he likened this move to a suppression of free speech. >> "this is a battle for the future of civilization," he writes. "if free speech is lost even in america, tyranny is all that lies ahead." >> trevor: really, elon? tyranny? you can't give the braveheart speech about everything. everything? this dude is walking around twitter headquarters like, "this threatens the very existence of democracy and mankind," and a janitor is like, "okay, geez, i'll refill the "okay, geez, i'll refill the paper towels, stop shouting." we should unpack this. the first thing he complained about was that apple stopped advertising on twitter, which he thinks is an attack on free speech. and maybe it is just me, but do you find it funny that free speech and giving elon musk money seem to be perfectly aligned? elon's like,

"oh, so the world's most carefully protected brand doesn't want their ads showing up next to nazi memes? i guess you don't believe in free speech!" apple requires all of its apps to be safe and he has fired all the people that are responsible for content moderation and replace them with a sign that says, "hey, don't post that." the third point that elon is crying about is that apple has too much power over iphone apps. because if he charges $8 a month for twitter verification, apple automatically gets to take up to 30% of any money people spend in the app. elon doesn't want that come he can't afford to give 30% of twitter's money away, just because some idiot made him spend $44 billion on an app that we all use for free. he can't afford that shit. that is where we are right now, the richest company versus the richest man in the world and the stakes could not be higher. because remember, the outcome of this war could determine how we

spend our time when we poop. all right, that's it for the headlines. but before we go to a break, it's time to check in on all the latest social media trends with our very own ronny chieng. everybody! [cheers and applause] what's going on, ronny? >> thank you, thank you. i love social media. it's the one place you can keep the thanksgiving fights going all year long. here is what is trending today, okay? there is this weird video on tiktok of a dog dancing around in the forest. and now parents are showing their kids that video and tricking them into believing that the dog was them as a baby. now what i just said may not make any sense. but trust me, after you watch it, it will somehow make even less sense. just take a look. ♪ ♪ >> remember?

♪ ♪ >> you were just born. >> okay, stop. stop the video. a prudent, if you are watching this, please just nuke us right now, because if you are going to gaslight kids, men in black brainwash them, at least give them a good fake memory. make them believe that two years ago, you got them a new tendo instead of losing their college fund in bitcoin. because this challenge is just mean. even woody allen is like, this is no way to treat your own k kids. what, too soon? too suni? >> trevor: [laughs] >> let's try a new challenge, okay? call protective services and tell them your parents are exploiting you for likes challenge. because you might get a new phone out of this, it would be hilarious. something for the gram.

the other thing that is trending, as trevor said, elon musk versus apple. he's upset. of course elon is upset at apple's policy. elon barely read his own contractor buy twitter. do you think he read apple's terms and conditions? this guy is rich in america, okay? that means people should just do what he wants. stop oppressing him. okay? elon grew up in south africa under apartheid, trevor. do you even know how hard that was for him? that is something none of us in this room could ever understand. and that -- that is what motivating him. to save democracy! okay? by preserving our right to have neo-nazis call me a cuck, so you commies better let the free market save the company that is not profitable. but speaking of twitter, the

only trend that matters this week is the world cup, okay? [cheers and applause] it's happening every day. every trending topic is someone versus someone. usa versus iran, morocco versus belgium. you can't see anything but world cup hashtags. it is so bad, i don't even know who pete davidson is [bleep] right now. that is so unclear my is. it is buried under inane soccer tweets from idiots like this g guy. see this? lionel messi, what a player. do we need this? do we need this? what a player, what a treat, what a discovery. oh, my god! this guy should quit his job and become a soccer scout. whoever he is. he's got a real eye for finding the best player in the world for the last two decades. listen, pete davidson could be [bleep] kathy bates right now and i wouldn't even know because of trash like this cluttering up my feet!

anyway, i got to go. my mom just sent me a video of me as a baby playing in the forest or something. i got to go watch this. back to you, trevor. >> trevor: ronny chieng, everybody. [cheers and applause] you should check out messi, he's going to be amazing. when we come back, michael kosta will give you the secret to getting rich, so don't go away. [cheers and applause] don't call it a “last-minute gift you ordered from the drugstore...” [thud] call it a “holiday bonus for the local economy.” ♪

what makes up a full life? call it a “holiday bonus being there to lend a hand. being present while feeling our best. because when you sign up for health coverage at healthcare.gov, you invest in your future and the future of your loved ones. due to the new law, 4 out of 5 customers can find a plan for $10 or less a month with financial help. live life to the fullest and leave behind a legacy for generations to come. because your health really is your wealth. find a plan at healthcare.gov today. self-care isn't skin deep... good thing almonds have- we're doing this again, huh? almonds have 50% of the recommended daily value of vitamin e, a powerful antioxidant that promotes skin health! okay shhhhh. okay bye.

eat almonds. live well. repeat.

[cheers and applause] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." with the global economy looking shaky, you may be wondering where you can safely invest your money. well, michael kosta has you covered with an opportunity you can't miss. ♪ ♪ >> when you think of successful markets that have thrived during the pandemic while so many others have perished, you think

of zoom, amazon, and haunted dolls. that's right. haunted dolls are big right now. no, i'm not usually an occult guy but to survive in this economy, i'm willing to make a deal with the undead. but first, i had to find out more about the business and who better to teach me then the number one seller of haunted dolls on ebay? >> be scared of demons, be scared of negative energy. better than not. if you are interested, you could jump in with both feet. >> you are literally in the business of ghosting people. when did you notice that the haunted doll business was skyrocketing, and that you are basically the jeff bezos of haunted dolls? >> i started in 2014, and there was only a few shops, now there is probably 50, 60 shops. >> how many dolls would you say you sold in the last year? >> probably a thousand. >> i've seen a haunted all go for $4,000. >> okay.

speak about my big question, aside from how could i had $4,000 and all sales from the irs, is what made a haunted doll a haunted doll. according to haunted doll sellers, and doll that was inhabited by the soul of a dead person was prime for selling, but what made one haunting more expensive than another? >> when you say "haunted," for me, that sounds scary. you are also saying that there is a positive haunting? >> absolutely. i try to keep most of my stuff on the positive side. >> you mean the baby with his legs ripped off? >> actually, that one is not that positive. >> what if it is a real evil spirit. >> i actually do charge a little more. i don't want the little young kids to be able to afford it. >> you can sell a human soul on ebay. >> there was a band. >> who was selling too many human souls? >> you have to have a disclaimer if it causes you to murder your wife. >> isn't capitalism fascinating? >> it can be. that is about 25% of the business, and people sent them

to me and right now, have a two and half year waiting list for evaluations. yeah. >> what? >> right in everything you know about that also when i open the box i know what i'm dealing witn two and a half years. the rest of the business of people contacting me, looking for a haunted doll. are you looking for a little kid? are you looking for something that is going to challenge you? are you looking for something that is going to scare your neighbors? there are spirits that will motivate you to do work, spirits that will attract money to your house, spirits that will attract love. >> wow. clearly, catherine was telling these haunted hotcakes but who are the everyday folks buying these haunted dolls? [knocking] >> hi. it's you. i know you. >> yep, de stormy daniels. stormy's doll susan was purchased in 2011 and he said to be cursed with a uniquely malevolent spirit. >> we believe susan belongs to a little girl who died in 255 and

it definitely has some thing to do with a stomach issue. >> before he started shooting, the producer onset wanted to touch her and you said, don't do that, you will shit your pants. >> three people that i slept with in a row had stomach issues and back issues pretty much immediately. she is more mischievous than malicious. i've never felt like i was in danger. >> what has susan added to your life? >> she has protection when you go into these places that could be dangerous. >> okay, but it susan really worth that much? >> i have been offered $7500 for her wants and $10,000 for her once but she is not for sale. she has her own tv show, she's on vh1's "real-life." anyone that is follows her and stern graham, she's been on yachts and ferraris. >> as this are handled? the plastic bitch? >> should be. >> would you say she is loving her afterlife? >> she's definitely living her best afterlife. >> so i went back to cat to learn about the scientific process used to identify a haunted doll.

>> so, bells. okay. >> after studying the extensive tools needed and the strict procedure... >> what if the ups guy rings the doorbell? >> that screws it up. >> i know if i was serious about getting into the business of haunted outcome of the next step had to be trying out the haunted product to see what all the fus. >> her name is jennifer. she is about seven or eight years old and we think she was murdered. >> is it safe to say that she was killed by a white man? >> yes. >> probably. >> absolutely. white man lately. what would jennifer cost for somebody? >> 60, 70 bucks. >> 60, 70 bucks, okay. all right, jennifer. sorry you got murdered. >> so i left with my free trial name to jennifer and i took a video diary to record my feedback. >> hey, so day one with jennifer. i don't know if i really get it yet. the only thing i can report, have had some violent dreams. there was a river of blood and there was a stabbing.

but it still better than when i was dreaming about before which was the state of this country so i think i'm starting to get it a little bit. did you make this for me? i don't know if she's following me. or if i just bring her everywhere. >> i can't do this with you watching. thank you. >> the soul of this doll has excellent comedic timing. it's just great having someone around who laughs at jokes. she is a haunted doll and i know what i'm saying and it sounds crazy but it's just -- it's wonderful. i'm going to kill you! just kidding. the trial is over, and i can't get into this business. sending jennifer back to catherine is the hardest thing i've ever had to do. jennifer. you got to go. get in the box. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: thank you so much for that, michael. stay tuned, because when we come

back, the legendary pam grier will be joining me on the show. don't go anywhere. [cheers and applause]

oh, there you are... you know, cath, with chase freedom unlimited we can cashback on all our holiday shopping. earn 3% at drugstores! i'll be at checkout. you bring the card. wait - i'm paying again?! earn big time with chase freedom unlimited. ♪ ♪ i was born here, i'm from here, and i'm never leaving here. i'm a new york hotel. yeah, i'm tall. 563 feet and 2 inches. i'm on top of the world. i'm looking for someone who likes to be in the middle of it all, but also likes some peace and quiet. you hungry? i know a place, and few others nearby.

it's the city that never sleeps, but hey, if you need the rest, i've got you covered. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is an iconic actor you know from films like "foxy brown" and "jackie brown," and she's here to talk about the new podcast seasons of "the plot thickens" pier for the final episode drops december 6th and you can catch up on the whor

you listen to podcasts. please welcome the legendary pam grier! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ welcome to the show. >> oh, my god. >> trevor: ladies and gentlemen! [cheers and applause] the legendary pam grier. >> trevor. >> trevor: welcome to "the daily show." >> trevor, hey. why are you leaving us, boo? come on! >> trevor: i'm not leaving life. >> no, but i look forward to you and hearing you and keeping me laughing and it's great stuff. >> trevor: thank you very much. >> humanity. thank you. >> trevor: thank you very much. thank you. [cheers and applause] i am not the only one who thinks

this. if it weren't for you, so many of the movies that we know and love today wouldn't have been possible, because everybody who knows film knows that if it weren't for pam grier and what she did with all the movies that she made, there wouldn't have been black women on screen kicking ass the way that we see them today. you were the original action star at a time when black women were not allowed to be portrayed like that, so thank you. [cheers and applause] >> thank you. but as you know, as a filmmaker, you have to develop an audience to be prepared for a woman performing martial arts, where there is internal kung fu, external carotid, and jumping and firing, firearms, and i'm f, my cane shot, my moonshine, okay? i wanted to bring the culture to film to help not pontificate to anyone with filters and fear of

a woman walking in a man's shoes, you know what i'm talking about. but to let everyone feel comfortable, my grandfather, everything that is happening, he said, pammy, i want you to go fishing, bring the boat, and i want other girls to have the stuff for fishing. if a woman can do something, a man will respect you. >> trevor: wow. >> i had that. that gave me the courage to fall, get hurt, but to show that women are just trying to be the best we can become us of when you don't come home from the war, you don't cut the grass, paint the house, but we can do it and they are proud of us. >> trevor: that is beautiful. [cheers and applause] and he really did create something completely new, completely different. in "the plot thickens," the podcast, we go through your life and journey, there are few human beings who have lived -- it almost seems like 100 lives. >> it is. >> trevor: in one lifetime.

>> did that happen to me? come on! >> trevor: are you kidding me? >> the first week, i get to sync back up with bobby wow, said, i have a friend who is reco recording, i am thinking, literally sleeping in a garage trying to get into a film school at ucla, working for sylvester stewart, freddy cat? what kind of name is that? okay, i can do it, i sang gospel and play keyboards, so i go, and the director says, have you sung with them before? i go -- stevie wonder? no, i am poor and i live in colorado and i've come all the way to go to school. he says, okay, you want to meet him? so he walks up to this big window and sly and the family stone. >> trevor: wow! >> on trump's in the back,

buddy miles. he had already started band of gypsies, so i get to sing, the elevator opens, here's three guys in the elevator, big black dude in the center, and two white dudes on the side, walking down the hallway, and it is jimi hendrix. >> trevor: what! >> and the band of gypsies coming with sly and the family stone where i did tapes. and he goes "hey." i'm like a zombie. don't be stupid, pam. she can sing, she's country, don't pay any attention to her. and he started jamming, come on now. i couldn't have planned that. >> trevor: where are the tapes? >> i don't know. >> trevor: i feel like every story in your life is this. like you said, you grew up in a world where you were poor, you didn't have much, you came into this world, trying to do something, singing with people, going out with legends and icons, you are becoming friends with them, working with them,

creating, you become the legend on the icon. i would love to know, when you have been part of this documentary that looks back on your life, you know, living life, often times, we don't take stock of every single thing that we've experienced. but when you get to hear it all back to you, when you get to tell it again, sometimes you appreciate it even more. i would love to know, when you look at it again, what is one of the biggest moments of success for you go, wow, i cannot believe that i lived through that moment in my career? >> i lived through richard pryor. i really loved him and he loved me. he thought i was the baddest bitch around. the horse was injured and i grew up around horses with my family, and i want to take him to a vet but i didn't have a truck or a horse trailer. richard it is in a bathrobe cry income he's going to kill every [bleep] around and i said, you don't have to kill anybody. we are going to put the horse

and a jaguar. he said, it's a jaguar, four door come '76, banana yellow. but the horse in the backseat after jaguar. and you push, we are going to get the horse and a jaguar. we get the horse in the jaguar, the shocks go boom, the tires go boom, and to get in the car, richard, with your ashy ankles and your bathrobe, get in the [bleep] car, we are driving down the 405. >> trevor: no way. >> yes car. >> the car is fishtailing all over the place, and people are saying, there is two in the car with a horse in the backseat of an english car. itza jag! and we are saying, where's the vet? follow us. follow us. i've got a train of people. choo-choo train following us to the vet with the horse in the backseat. i will save the horse come i will save the life. >> trevor: i love that. >> we get there and richard says, baby, you are the funniest

bitch you've ever known. saved her life, a and i realized that i loved him and i didn't want him to fall off the wagon because he was trying to get his stuff together. and i would do anything. when you really love someone, you don't abandon people you love. you abandon people you are us using. and i never used him. >> trevor: what do you think it was about you that immunized you from a world where, you've talked about this in your biography and you talk about this in your stories -- so many of the people around you who are brilliant, they were icons. geniuses. >> trevor: they were geniuses. they were also addicted to drugs. drugs were destroying what they were, many people going to rehab, some never making it out and yet you managed to escape so much of that. what you think it was about you? >> i can't drink gin. i am part native american. the gin makes me -- i'm remembering at my debutante ball, i had a slow jen fay's and i wasn't supposed to have it and someone says, they saw me jumping off a table in my mom's wedding dress, fighting, duking

out. and i think that -- because i have had four attacks, one as a child and one again at 7:00 and then 18 and 20, family trauma, and you know about that for my book, and i found my pain is limited but my joy is infinite. i find some joy in watching their geniuses escape their genie is. it is scary. you can't repeat that. who is going to play miles davis again, who is going to do that? nobody. who was going to do the music that is done today and it's not being written because it's not going to be played 40, 50 years from now? that is genius. and you have to played over and over again in your show every night or at a concert. what do you do? take the fear and anxiety, i can do it, i got to do it again. eight shows a week. that is a test for yourself.

and your discipline, and you've got this out here. it is hard to keep it out there. what geniuses create note by note, barred by power, everyone who writes classical music, pages, they will do something because they have to recreate that. or sell it to someone. and so when you do that and they say, who was going to play my shoes? i said, it can be here because there is a lot of women that come up to me and say, pam, thank you. i was criticized for being a tomboy. no, you ain't a tomboy, you a girly girl. it's okay. but just be the best that you can be. >> trevor: that is what makes you so legendary. you forged a path. you don't know how many people will be inspired by it and now you are there on the other and tying it up again, forging a path. thank you so much for being on the scop, thank you for being here, congratulations on your story come on in your life, we appreciate you so much.

pam grier, everybody. we have to take a quick break. we will be right back. thank you so much. [cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause]

>> trevor: well, that's our show for tonight, thank you so much for tuning in. before we go, though, today is giving tuesday, so please consider donating to one simple wish, a charity that grants wishes to kids and young adults in foster care. if you want to help grant a wish or donate towards their holiday wish fund, please do so at the link below. until next time, stay safe out there, and remember: we'll be playing saturday against the netherlands at 10:00 a.m. so you finally have an excuse to get drunk in the morning. here it is, your "moment of zen." >> i'm the mayor. on the mayor of the city of new york. whether they like it or not, i am the mayor. it is a huge undertaking, and i wanted to submit a region to deal with the anti-semitism, i am taking a quick flight on my dime to go inspect what is happening there so that we can be prepared. it is on my dime. if i do my dime, i can do my time.

- ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna have myself a time ♪ both: ♪ friendly faces everywhere ♪ ♪ humble folks without temptation ♪ - ♪ i'm going down to south park ♪ ♪ gonna leave my woes behind ♪ - ♪ ample parking day or night ♪ ♪ people spouting "howdy neighbor" ♪ - ♪ headin' on up to south park ♪ ♪ gonna see if i can't unwind ♪ - ♪ [muffled] ♪ ♪ come on down to south park ♪ ♪ and meet some friends of mine ♪

- okay, good, children, good. remember to feel the clay. be one with the clay. nice. uh-huh. [all laughing] - put more clay on the balls. - boys! what is that? - a reindeer? - you know, i've had it! you four boys never take art class seriously! - what a crime. [all laughing] - you think art is not important? - well, art's just kinda... for gaywads. - i love art class! - see? - do you think this is funny?! do you think this is funny, huh? [snickering] [all laughing] well, you four can just spend your afternoon after school here making new pottery! - you can't do that. i certainly can. i'm your teacher. - you're an art teacher. - make it two hours. - mrs. dreible thinks she's so cool. - how dare she talk to us like that? - [muffled]

- we can't let her get away with this. i think tonight we need to do something drastic. - like what? - like find out where mrs. dreible lives and go over there and...tp her house. - [muffled] yeah! - tp her house? - toilet paper. cover her house in toilet paper. - oh. - what's the matter, kyle? you chicken? [bawking] ah! - quiet, boys! this isn't playtime. you're being punished. - fine, but we'll have the last laugh tonight, artwhore. - yeah, payback time, you ugly skank. - do you think that's enough? - should be fine. - don't you guys think this is a little suspicious? we should buy something else so it doesn't look obvious. - okay. here we go, pack of chewing gum. - hello, boys. find everything you need? - yep. all set. - okay, let's see here. toilet paper, toilet paper... toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper. so what are you kids up to tonight? - oh, we're just gonna watch some tv, maybe play a board game. - nice relaxing night at home, huh?

toilet paper, toilet paper, and toilet paper. eh, hey. now, you kids be careful with this chewing gum. don't go sticking it under tables. - okay. - okay. toilet paper, toilet paper, toilet paper. you know, son, i remember you comin' in last week and buying this much toilet paper. - heh, yeah, that--that's right. - toilet paper, toilet paper. - you tp'ed a house last week, cartman? - no. last thursday night was fajitas night. - oh. ugh. - is this the right house? - it's the right address. wait. look there. there's mrs. dreible. this is the place. - oh, wait, wait. there's kids inside. - so? - so i'm not tp'ing a house with kids inside it. - kyle, we all agreed to do this. - we didn't say nothin' about no kids, man. - kyle, you're bein' an asshole. now, let's do this thing and get out of m'yeah. here's what i think of your art class, you god-damned bitch. - [muffled]