- broflovski, be ready to take over for owens. - i'm a hundred percent ready, coach. - excuse me, where is the bathroom for dolphins? - we don't... have one. - well, where the hell am i supposed to go to the bathroom? i need a large tank with saltwater. - uh... too bad? - damn it, you people have to make special arrangements for transspecies people like me. i may be a dolphin, but i'm also a lawyer. - you're a lawfin? - tickets, please. - we don't have tickets. - sorry, ma'am. no tickets. no entry. - look, there's a boy with my balls in his knees, and he's in serious danger. - what? - my scrotum. that dolphin has my scrotum. now, let us in. - you can't go in, ma'am. we have unauthorized entry on level 1.

- all right, broflovski, you're going in next possession. - all right. [crackling] ow...hmm. - gerald, where's kyle? - what, why? - my balls are in his knees. if he jumps with them, they'll explode. - oh, my god. - there they are, next to that dolphin. - come on, we gotta get to those balls. [gunfire] - stop them! they didn't pay the $2 entry fee. - now substituting for colorado, number four, kyle broflovski. - oh jesus. he's about to play. [gunfire] [grunting] - mrs. garrison, grab kyle. - which one is he? - arrrhhh. - ohhh. - hey, what the hell? - stop the game! ahhhh! - ohhh. - i got it. i got the ball. - kyle, no! - broflovski goes for the dunk.

- no! - my baaaaaaalllllssssss! - aagh. [screams] - so let me get this straight. that woman over there was trying to get to her balls which were in the knees of a black child whose father is a dolphin. - yeah, that's basically it. - sounds like an open and shut case. all right, let's head 'em out. i'm sorry, kyle. i should i have told you the surgery was cosmetic only. - so does this mean i'm not really a dolphin? - let's get you two up to the clinic, and i'll change you back for a nominal fee. - but what about mr. garrison? he can't go back. - you know what, i'm okay.

even though i'm not truly a woman, i think i still like the new me. i'd rather be a woman who can't have periods than a fag. hey, guys! this girl is staying a woman. who wants to pound my vag? girl power. captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com ♪ ♪ >> announcer: coming to you from new york city, the only city in america, it's "the daily show." tonight... herschel walker builds a wall. ondi timoner. and gabrielle union! this is "the daily show with trevor noah."

♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> trevor: what's going on, everybody? welcome to "the daily show." thank you so much for tuning in. thank you coming out in person. i'm trevor noah. good to see you, everyone. we've got a great show for you tonight. take a seat, everybody. let's get into it, let's do it. we've got a great show for you. san francisco is using tech to fight crime, herschel walker is using gibberish to solve immigration and elon musk is using free speech to kill us all. so let's do this, people. let's jump straight into today's headlines. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] all right, before we get into the big stories, let's catch up on a few other things going on in the world. starting with the fact that today is spotify wrapped day!

[cheers and applause] yeah. the day that spotify looks at our music and reminds us that we're all a basic bitch. i was thinking, thank god tinder doesn't do this. just to remind you of all the terrible decisions you've made on desperate nights. like, wow, i dated a lot of people with pet snakes this year. in international news, the united nations has officially added the french baguette to the unesco world heritage list. [cheers and applause] which is cool, but it's another reminder that the united nations really needs to eat lunch before making big decisions. should we give chinese food a seat of the security council? i am so hungry. you would think this great, some of you are clapping, i love baguettes, but you are member coming out is protected by the u.n. now every time you try to take a bite out of a baguette, a peace keeper will jump out and kick

your ass. stop that shit. meanwhile, an presidential news, joe biden's security detail how to scare when five cars they had rented suddenly burst into flames after they were returned to hertz rent-a-car. the good news is, biden has got full coverage insurance. the bad news is, senate republicans blocked it so he is going to n need to borrow some money from kamala now. and why is the secret service even renting cars from hertz? am i the only person who was thrown by that? what happens if the suv they want isn't there? now the president is walking to a state dinner and a hyundai? oh, and while we're talking about things exploding, experts say the united states is now facing a shortage of bomb sniffing dogs. yet, which probably explains how "morbius" made it into theaters. it makes sense if you think

about it. it was always going to happen. if you had a choice of being a bomb sniffing dog or a drug sniffing dog, what would you choose? what would you choose? so simple. option a: you might explode. option b: free cocaine! i mean. it's hard for us humans, though, because now they've had to resort to bomb sniffing cats. their noses are good, they can figure out where the bombs are but they just won't tell us about it. the cat will be there like, "i have nine lives, bitch, not my problem..." all right, let's move on to some of the bigger stories of the day. starting with the 2022 midterms! and i know you're saying, "but trevor, the midterms are over! i killed them! i watched them die!" well, you thought you did, but you never took a head shot, and after you left, the midterms busted out of the dirt and now they're back! because down in georgia, they're just a few days away from a

run-off between incumbent senator raphael warnock and "the reason you're pulling your son out of football," herschel walker. and we'll tell you all about it in another installment of "votedemic 2022." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] there is now less than one week to go until the georgia run-off election, and once again, herschel walker is battling controversy. he might not even live in the state that he's trying to represent. according to new reports, the georgia home he's claimed as his residence has actually been rented out for years. and apparently, walker even admitted in a speech earlier this year that he lives in texas. which i was shocked about, because i did not think herschel walker knew the names of two different states. i know this might piss some

people off but this just proves that herschel walker views georgians as family: because he's never around them. and of course, there's the other problem for herschel walker, which is that every time he speaks, things go wrong. he was just at a campaign stop giving his views about the border. in his speech, he is trying to explain why he will build donald trump's border wall. but in a way that only herschel walker can. he goes on to debunk his own argument about a wall and then take this on a wild ride that somehow involves his dog. >> securing the border. they say, "how we gonna do that?" i say, well, i can do it then. we need to put up a wall, a wall would work. a wall work around your house. when you got a wall around your house, people don't -- yeah, but they can get in, but you know what? they get in, it'd be hard to get out. because i got a dog that -- well, my dog really won't bite, but he's pretty bad, anyway. anyway... >> trevor: i'm sorry, what?

did this man just win an argument with himself? because he's like, i think his plan is to build a border wall so that he can trap immigrants inside america? is that what he's doing? "see, once they get in, they can't get out. then they got to get jobs, raise a family, settle down, and that's how we get 'em. yeah." it's almost like walker started out talking about border security and then ended up telling everybody how to break into his house. and personally, i don't think he needs a wall. the hardest part about breaking into herschel walker's house is figuring out which state he lives in. jokes on you. "i actually live in kansas, hawaii." let's move on to some use from social media. ever since elon musk pranked himself into buying twitter for $44 billion, he's been reshaping the entire website according to what he likes. he's brought back thousands of suspended accounts, he's made it easier to get a blue checkmark,

and any number you tweet is automatically changed to "69." you post that your dad only has three days left? now he has 69. nice! rest in peace. but nice! but elon's biggest promise is that under his leadership, twitter is completely open for free speech, no matter how wrong that speech might be. >> a potentially dangerous new change on twitter. the social media site is no longer enforcing its policy against covid misinformation. >> twitter suspended more than 11,000 accounts for breaking the policy and removed almost 100,000 pieces of content between january of 2020 and september of 2022. and musk is promising to restore many previously banned twitter accounts as soon as this week. >> health experts are concerned that it could diminish efforts to stop the spread of the virus and could discourage vaccinations. >> trevor: okay, look, may be this is my vaccine

microchip talking, but i don't think it is responsible for twitter to bring back people who were breading covid misinformation. on the other hand, it's 2022. how can you still be misinformed about covid? were you running around, like "i heard the vaccine turns you into a lizard!" [bleep], it's been three years, do you see any lizards here? forget covid for a second, it's crazy that anyone would go to twitter for any medical information. people should be going to the doctor for this stuff up because no one can afford a doctor in america, people are out here searching "bump on my dick" and hoping to find a cure. cocaine on my penis, that's not what i was looking for. now to some news at sm san francisco. like many big cities, san francisco has been struggling to get crime under control. and if you're thinking, "oh, it's san francisco. what are they doing, prescribing all the criminals cbd oil?"

no! i mean, yes, but not just that. they also have a more hardcore solution. >> new this morning, san francisco officials voted to allow city police to have remote-controlled robots that could use deadly force in extreme situations. critics of the decision say it militarizes san francisco's police, but city supervisor rafael mandelman, who voted in favor of the robots, said that the killer machines would only be used if lives are at stake. >> sfpd said they don't have pre-armed robots and they don't plan to arm the ones they do have with guns. assistant chief david lazar said they could deploy robots equipped with explosives. >> trevor: wait, wait, what? what? they're not going to arm the robots, just give them explosives? that is much worse! who came up with a p.r. statement? "don't worry, people, the robots are going to have guns, they're just going to be suicide bombers." "calm down, everyone is going." this is such a bad idea. do you know how often robots make mistakes?

can you imagine if siri had a bomb? "hey, siri, play 21 savage." "now killing your family." "no! but which members of my family? but no. let's talk about it." now, to be clear, the robots will not actually be deciding when to use deadly force. there will still be trained, human police officers on the remote control trigger. so don't worry, it's still going to be mostly black people that get killed. and it's wild how cities can always find money for high-tech gadgets for cops, but when it comes to investing in long term solutions that might fix the actual problems, then their pockets are empty. have you ever noticed that? they have all that money. people asking, "wait, you're building police robots with bombs? can we also do something about, like, the homeless people?" "oh, don't worry, the robots can blow them up them too." it makes no sense.

all right, that's it for the headlines, but before we go, let's check in on traffic with our very own roy wood, jr. it's crazy. >> yeah, dude. [cheers and applause] trevor. >> trevor: what's happening with the traffic. >> traffic, some people out there, some people at home, they ate out there. they need to get a robot to do this shit. i don't know why everybody is so worried about these robot cups, man because truth be told, this isn't the first time this has happened. there is a robot cop program in detroit back in the late '80s, and it was a robot officer, he took down a heinous drug dealer, the program got scrapped because a robot that he was a real person. >> trevor: roy, that was "robocop." >> yes, that was "robocop," whose real name was also for

alex jay murphy, and they turned him into "robocop." >> trevor: that was not a true story, that was a movie. >> you are full of shit. >> trevor: it was a movie. >> okay, if you say so, man, whatever. i don't know why everyone is assuming that the robots are going to be bad. why do you assume that the robot cups are going to be bad? if anything, the robot cups would get all of the messed up cops off the street. i ain't no scared of the robots. you scared. >> trevor: of the robots? >> you are not scared of a robot cop. half of these robot cops don't recognize black people. >> trevor: what are you talking about? >> robots don't recognize black people. i can't get water out of this income of the facial recognition don't see me, bring on the robot cops because maybe black people will finally be invisible to the police. i am with it. i am fine with that. [cheers and applause] black people invisible to the police and now finally, we can commit high crimes and peace.

>> trevor: [laughs] >> but you want the traffic, though. >> trevor: let's do the traffic, roy. >> here's the thing with the bomb dogs. this is the question i feel like nobody is asking about the bomb dogs. if there is a shortage, if there is a shortage of bomb sniffing dogs, shouldn't you shut your ass up about it and not tell anybody? shouldn't you not tell anybody? just shh. you don't have to let everybody know that you don't have enough bomb sniffing dogs. isis is at home watching bomb scbsincome of this is a time. you don't need a bomb sniffing dogs, you just need people to think you have a bomb sniffing dog. just put regular dogs in the airport. that is all you have to do. all these dogs, put them in the airport. the illusion of security, that's

all you got to do is make people think. i got a car. ain't got no car alarm. people walk past my car, i make the noise on my own. that's what you got to do. we ain't got to really worry about bomb sniffing dogs because the truth telling, the bomb sniffing dogs will eventually be replaced by robot dogs, right? >> trevor: probably. >> than robot dogs will be operated by fully robot cops and eventually, one of those robot cops will go haywire and kill a bunch of people because they needed drugs and the only way to stop a crazy robot cop is to get a brave robot cop to jump on the back of that robot cop and pull off its access panel, get into the cortex, pull out the brain, and mash the brain on the ground. [cheers and applause] that's how you stop it. the crazy robot cop. >> trevor: i feel like that is the plot of "robocop" 2. >> yes. based on the life of officer alex murphy.

"robocop" 2 was a brave biopic. i thought you was educated. let me just do the traffic. >> trevor: we don't have time. roy wood, everybody. [cheers and applause] don't go away. when we come back, we will tell you how you can kill yourself legally and gabrielle union will be here. don't go away. [cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my first guess tonight is an internationally acclaimed filmmaker whose latest film is about her father who chose to die at the age of 92 i'm at california's end of life option act. the film is called

"last flight home" and is streaming on paramount+. >> i want to ask for advice on how to live your life. >> how to live a life. you have to have respect for people you don't know and love and people that you do know. i know what that means. >> trevor: please welcome ondi timoner. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ ondi timoner, welcome to "the daily show." >> thank you for having me. >> trevor: you know, the clip we played from the movie, we play a quick because we can't play the whole movie, make it sound like it's a sad story, and if you tell anybody that

somebody made a film about their father choosing to end their own life, he would go, this is a san want to watch. and yet i feel like it is an inspiring story, it is a beautiful story, it's a funny story, it has made me see life in a completely different way. so let's talk a little bit about your dad. i mean, he has lived quite the life. there are few human beings who can say that they have personally known kings and princesses, somebody who started their own airline essentially, someone who is running an airline, getting low-cost airlines for people to fly around, wanting everybody to be able to travel, having this infectious attitude that lit up every single room. we see you chronicling this life. we see you telling us the story. and we also see how quickly it can change. your father was 50 -- >> 53. >> trevor: 53 and had a stroke and everything changed. >> yeah, he went in for a massage and his neck was manipulated and 10 minutes later -- he was in perfect health.

he had run 6 miles that morning, at the height of his career. here the fastest growing airline in the history of the world and he lead with love. he lead with love and kindness. the airline just was really at its height. and he was ousted. there were no rights for the disabled at that point. and lost everything financially, the social standing. but the greatest thing about dad is he never complained. he just rooted for all of us. he was paralyzed for 40 years. but he suffered with such grace, you know? so when he said he needed to die at the end, it was something we all had to get behind, you know? thank god for that law. the law was a gift. we didn't know there was a right to die, a medically assisted death in california. editors only in the united states -- in nine states in america. we expected dad to be there forever. i don't know why we never thought about it. he always said he would be there forever. and suddenly he was not going to walk again. he had been put in the hospital for breathing issues, not to do with covid, but he was isolated in there, he was terrified, and

he wanted to go. he needed to go. my brother found this law and it was a gift. having these 15 days, it allowed us to really celebrate his life and to really look at his achievements and also to help him through a shame that he deeply held. my sister is a rabbi came with these age-old rituals, and we all came together. you know, dad was exemplary human being. and he showed us how to love and how to live. and so yeah, it was terrifying, but also the most beautiful and sacred space any of us had ever been end. >> trevor: it really is a story that touches on everything. as you said, one part of the story gets into how much people with disabilities lose not just their income come about their access to a life of dignity. your father experienced that when he is pushed out of a company that he was running successfully because he did not like the optics of a person in a wheelchair running this company even though he could. we see him lose everything. we get into that conversation.

then we get into the conversations around the morality. it is interesting you bring up the fact that your sister is a rabbi and how so many of us have these ideas of how your life should end or shouldn't end. it is not your decision. but there was a line in the film, someone says, none of us chooses how to come into this world. but we should be allowed to choose how and when we leave. and for many people, that is a controversial statement. i know that the family was on a journey, and i would love to know what changed some people's minds about your dad being able to make that choice. >> you know, it was dad's spirit that was just so uplifted by finally having agency and power to make a determination over his own body. and what would happen with his own life. it was just an incredible shift that happened, and we all saw it. i mean, i am very passionate now and our whole family is, that this law be passed in every state because i think it is in front of 22 state legislatures

right now. it is not a law here in new york but it is a basic human right to. it is a basic human rights. who should make that determination? even in the film, i was terrified sharing my family, the most raw and vulnerable, but especially for my sister who is the rabbi, because it was against jewish law for the millennia, you can't end your life. they have since reversed that decision. >> trevor: wow. >> they have reversed that law. [applause] >> trevor: wow. >> and the reason they say a law without tenderness is wickedness. when the rabbis wrote that law, suffering lasted maybe five days with a terminal illness. but now there are thousands, tens of thousands of terminally ill patients who need -- and their families -- who should have this right. it is compassionate. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: it is a really powerful story. and i can see -- you know, when you watch it, when you watch it, you can see why the film is

getting oscar bows, because it is made so well. congratulations honestly. you bring us into a world, really, you bring us into a world that is really -- it feels like we are there with your family. i feel like i know your family. your dad seems like the wisest human being. there is no moment where he goes like "i don't really know." he just says things, he answered so confidently, and also so earnestly as well and so honestly. and one of the most amazing aspects in it for me is him talking to his wife, and they are having this conversation, and it is so fascinating to see what happens when people have the chance to say goodbye, you know? where people have the chance to say, this is how i wish for it to end. i wish to have this dignity in this moment. talked me through that, before you go, that part of their love story and witnessing act, which many children never get to see. >> this is a double happiness heart that mom bought for dad

and for the one-year anniversary, and they broke it in half and each wore one half. >> trevor: wow. >> so i wear it for good luck and to keep them both -- he. [applause] she is a phenomenal woman. she is a phenomenal woman. 54 years, they were together. 17 of those, he was able bodied and she was jet-setting and the rest, she was caregiving. and we were just doing a q&a together last night, she's 84 years old, she is such a fire cracker. >> trevor: she is. >> she really is. the film making wasn't really the main event. the main event was getting mom to face the fact that her partner of this many years was going to be gone, and to really spend time with him. and it was hard with all the hospice workers around and everyone around to kind of get her to zero in, but she finally did face it at the end, and she has seen the film, she's watch the film every day for a year, the first year he was gone. >> trevor: are you serious? >> she watched it a few times a week to spend time with him. >> trevor: i can see why.

honestly, you've captured a human being and few ways films have captured anybody and you told a story that millions of people, not just in america, but around the world, will connect. congratulations. thank you so much for joining us. >> thank you so much. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: make sure to catch the film, it is truly spectacular come on paramount+. when we come back, gabrielle union will be joining me on the show. don't go away. [cheers and applause] how did this tired old fat guy get the drop on us?

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[cheers and applause] >> trevor: welcome back to "the daily show." my next guest is an actor, a producer, and a best-selling author. she was just nominated for an independent spirit award for her role in the new film "the inspection," which is now in select theaters and opens nationwide december 2nd. >> piece of paper, it's all i have left of the dream i held for you. if you don't come back the son i gave birth to, consider this certificate void. >> trevor: please welcome gabrielle union. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

>> thank you! thank you, guys. >> trevor: as a live and breathe. one of my favorite people in the whole world. gabrielle union, welcome back to "the daily show." >> how have you been? >> trevor: i have been wonderful. is that africa i smell on you? >> it is. >> trevor: what is that? that aroma, it is so familiar to me. what is happening here? how was your trip? >> it was amazing. of course,, i had called trev as one does when you go to the motherland and i was like, -- >> trevor: as one does, like, trevor, i'm going to africa. >> you actually pick up the phone. >> trevor: yes. >> but we started off in tanzania, went to ghana, then they may be, then to your home country. >> trevor: that's amazing.

this was a different trip, you are learning, exploring, and celebrating the 50th birthday but that is not right. >> yes, 50th. [cheers and applause] yeah. you have seen me drop it low. trevor, i can see how long it takes me to get back up. so you know. >> trevor: [laughs] >> you know my hips are like, no, she is 50. >> trevor: please. i feel like you are one of those people who is eternally young. you are so curious about life, you know? everything you do, whether it is in the writing of your books, whether it is and how you travel the world, what projects you engage yourself in, broadway productions, this film is another example of that. we have seen gabrielle union so many different types of movies. forgive me if i'm wrong in saying this, but i have never seen you like this. i've never seen you in a row like this.

i can see why people are saying, oh, man, if the oscars are not watching this movie than they are not watching movies because you play a character in a movie that is so touching, painful, and brilliant, and it is the story of a young black man, as you saw justin at previa, whose mother basically says, because you are gay, i'm going to disown you, and he goes off to join the marines and her hope is that this will turn him straight. talk about how you got into this project and everything that a story was, because it has a lot more to do with real life than most people would think. >> way too much, more to do with real life than i would think. our director/writer/producer, he came to me, sent me the script, and they were like, what do you think of the script? i was like, this is a winner. absolutely want to be a part of this. i came on as an executive producer, and he's

like, great. i want you to play my mother. and i was like, you know, when i come across people who behave and speak like this, i tend to read them for filth. i tend to not to be inspired to want to play them in a film. and i just didn't think that i was the right fit. when he said, no, it has to be you. it can only be you. and later, i came to find out that him and his mom had been a strange for about 18 years. >> trevor: wow. >> and he knew that i was one of his mom's favorites and he knew that if i played her, she couldn't deny him, and she would reconnect. >> trevor: whew. >> unfortunately, we got green light february 14th, 2020. his mom passed february 18th, 2020. >> trevor: wow. >> i'm not only playing a real person, i'm playing my director

and writer's mother who has passed and they have had a pretty fraught relationship, and i just was not -- i just wasn't sure this was the right time for any of this. and he assured me, he said, no, we have to tell this story, we have to tell this story. and we know that you can do this. i was like -- and he said, you know that you have the range to do this. and i had to admit to myself that i had put myself in a cage, in a box, and decided what i could do and couldn't do. >> trevor: you had typecast yourself in the roles you could play because of the roles that were afforded to you. >> absolutely. so i had to break out and give myself the opportunity to try to grow. >> trevor: was it scary? >> it's terrifying. it's absolutely terrifying. i don't want to ruin this man's story, pulling something from "bring it on." [laughter] i don't know what he is expecting. [cheers and applause] >> trevor: and yet i feel like, you know, it seems so

perfect and it seems so obvious now because when you see you in the film, like, i can see what he saw. you know, and it's interesting, i would love to know how your opinion of his mom changed in hearing his story and his side of it. because, to your point, there are many scripts and there are many stories that are told of people that give us an idea of them. and then once we are forced to be them in some way, once we are forced to empathize and get into their lives, our opinion of them changes. talk me through that change. because you don't play her like somebody that you hate. you don't play her like somebody that we even hate. i would love to know what you understand differently about her that doesn't condone her views on her son being gay, but in some way creates empathy and nuts for her. >> i had to find her humanity and i had to figure out how to keep her love not just on the side as a producer but the love between these character. and the more i talk to parents who struggle in the way that she struggles, none of them denied that they love their children deeply.

and a lot of them truly believe that by rejecting their child or denying their identity -- which unfortunately denies there identity -- is the way to love them properly -- is the way to protect them, is the way to sav. which sounds very backwards, right? but firmly in their hearts, they believe that, and the more i started asking about her background. she was orphaned at ten. she was a top student committee was a top athlete, and she just wanted people to think that she was good and worthy and deserving. i was like coming out that is where i can relate. we have these conversations often where all the shape shifting that you will do to get someone to say, oh, yeah, you, right? whether it is a relationship or a business opportunity or just how you move through the world, surviving as a person of color in this world, he will minimize yourself, you will barter with anything to try to get this mucr structures of opportunities or whatever. and that we had in common.

because i've parted with many things, just not my kids. but i've bartered with my soul plenty of times. we talk about soul sacrifices and those moments that you will never get back, that liz in your memory, that you're ashamed of. and i had those as well. and i was like, okay, now i figured out how i can get in. how do i keep the love in this space that still shows that this is the most unhealthy way of showing your love for your child? >> trevor: wow. >> hopefully i can be a mirror to some parents. >> trevor: i think you will be. it is brilliant. i think it is a testament. the film is phenomenal, the story you tell this phenomenal. it is everything. as i say, if the oscars people don't come knocking, i am going to be free in a few weeks, i'm going to go chase them. you call me and you let me know. you know i answer the phone. i will chase the people. you are phenomenal. i think you're so much for joining me on that show. [cheers and applause] gabrielle union, everybody.

it is an amazing film, i promise you you will not regret it. we will take a quick break, we will be right back. [cheers and applause]