understand the experience. but i also believe that the more we understand about one another and the more accepting we are of one another, this thing called art should be representative of all of us. [cheers and applause] >> wanda: okay, we are going to take a quick break. we will be right back after t this. ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

[cheers and applause] >> wanda: that's our show ports maple before we go, please consider supporting the bail project, the nonprofit that

provides free bill assistance and pretrial services. if you want to help their mission, please donate at the link below. now, here it is, your moment of zen. >> [laughs] speak of is so funny? series. >> its global belly left, we are doing little experiment. >> it was not. ♪ tostitos. celebrity put chip near mouth so now you want chip. tonight on "tooning out the news," the conservative hot take, we need nfl violence because it's most american's violence to see a dr. treat someone they care about. liberal virtue signal searches the multiverse where

trump hoarding documents is high treason but biden doing it a a hobby. desantis trying to rid schools of the critical thinking necessary he's getting destroyed on the debate stage. it's time for some big news. ♪ good evening. i'm james smartwood. i listen to ryan meddles movies on the treadmill. we come for the battle of the baldest rages on between hard out donald trump and florida governor who buys his suit ats the container store ron desantis. a new poll shows trump barely ahead by the skin of his teeth, 26-point lead over desantis. mike pence, nikki haley and the rest of the future fox news green room barnacles poll in the single digit. trump is huddling with advisers real estate developers and belarus honey pots to fine tune his attack on desantis. recent weeks trump repeat willed

i quizzed some of those close to him, what else do we have on ron? one area which trump and his allies smell that weakness and desantis is on social security. a genius move by trump there to remember that seniors need government support once their kids lose contact because the qanon stuff is just too much. governor desantis is trying to bury in the same hole his years of trump endorsements advanced placement african-american studies pilot program in florida high schools. >> this course on black history, what is one of the lessons about? queer theory. that is somebody pushing an agenda on our kids. and so, when you look to see they have stuff about intersectionality, abolishing prisons, that's a political agenda. >> god forbid florida students are exposed to ivory tower ideas that risk turning them into radical ultra left ivy leaguers like yale and harvard grad ron desantis. joining me is democratic

strategist quickly removing adviser at the group from her resume lydia parker. >> good evening. >> chief washington bureau chief jonathan keene. >> james. >> chief field correspondent who thinks rain boots that aren't yellow aren't official, james smartwood jr. >> hey, dad. >> cbs news chief washington correspondent and hallmark channel blue collar dad just wants his big city dad to be happy, major garrett. >> always a pleasure. >> how many more discriminatory policies should ron desantis support to gain favor in the republican primary before trump calls him dumb san tis one time? >> ron desantis made himself the alternative to former president trump one thing, choose enemies wisely. right now his enemy is the education bureaucracy, the woke establishment, such as it is, and anyone else who fits in the that general description of, elitist or educators who don't really want to bring education as he defines it to florida

children. >> people say desantis lacks charisma, but critical florida voters are riveted when he's on it have. mostly because they're watching from condos which may collapse at any second. >> now clearly republicans have learned from the midterms that the american majority is craving culture war red meat that gets them thinking, good god, these people are insane. >> sure, there was a lot of heat around jeb bush in 2016 and trump destroyed him, keep in mind, desantis has a far more grating personality. >> it's a good point. >> thank you. >> obviously if desantis and other contenders want to beat trump in the republican primary, they will need to access the deep, dark depths of human depravity. here to discuss is bill of the church of sane, thank you for joining us. >> thank you for having me. >> how does desantis and other primary hopefuls unlock the car nel beast necessary to win plurality of republican support? >> well, it's about the individual not the collective about getting what you want. so if you can do something that is in my own shameless self

interest, my own selfishness, when, yeah. i'll give you a vote. >> now major, we heard compelling advice from the church of satan here? >> i haven't seen that put through a focus group or a poll yet. >> uh-huh. >> we get some results on that, maybe i'll have a more informed opinion. >> that's a dodge. >> 100%. >> i will say this fellow from the church of satan is making a lot of good points. gratification is king and desire -- >> okay. here we go. of course this would happen. >> where does satan fall on the debt ceiling? >> we don't have any economic principles that apply to the whole nation. it's act the individual, not the collective. you should certainly strive to make comfortable living for yourself and protect your finances. >> this guy is speaking my language. >> i'm in too. i'm all in. sounds pretty good. >> i'm opting out tonight. >> pretty sweet. >> you've been in for maybe one second. >> best second of my life. >> moving on, also flirting with a run for president is mike

least memorable pompeo, never give an inch fighting for the america i love available in bookstores now he appears unable to bury the hat chet with a man buried, down playing the murder of jamal khashoggi, the media made him out to be a bob woodward martyred bravely criticizing the saudi royal family through his opinion articles in the "washington post." he was an activist who supported the losing team in a recent fight for the throne. major, do you think pompeo can capture the republican vote by attacking khashoggi or should he go after someone else beloved like jennifer coolidge? >> secretary pompeo is doing what republicans who fancy themselves as a potential successor to former president trump feel may must do, which is find ways to be outrageous and strident and trumpian that even trump hasn't tried. >> as we all know, mike pompeo's book is a cultural phenomenon on the scale of the harry potter

series generated record breaking crowds, let's call a bookstore now to see how they're handling pompeo fever. [ phone ringing ] >> barnes & noble -- >> it's crazy there. thank you for taking the time to take the call. obviously, you know what book i'm looking for, mike pompeo, please just can you tell me you have some copies? >> yeah. i'm pretty sure i saw some come in this morning. let me walk over here. >> okay. great. >> are you heading down tonight? >> my plan was to get there as soon as possible. i was actually even exploring taking a helicopter. >> all right. yeah. i'm looking at it right now. if you come tonight or even tomorrow morning we'll have it for you. >> thank god. set one aside for me. stand over it with a bat if you have to. now if by the time i get there it's gone because you have been torn to shreds what time does the armored vehicle arrive with more copies? >> i'm not predicting we'll sell out that. you should be fine. >> great.

you're looking at that book right now, you sure it's not some kind of mirage. you're touching with it your hands. >> yes, i can physically touch it. >> now no spoilers, i have to ask, in the book, does pompeo talk about how the lessons of kansas never left him? i've just been dying to know? >> i haven't cracked it myself. so i don't know what he gets into it. i'm sure it's fascinating. >> forget it. >> before we let you go, any books on satan. >> why would you -- >> we're talking to him. >> do you have any books on satan for half my staff here has converted to satanism. >> i'm sure we have a couple floating around. >> now we're talking. >> my tax guy. that's all the time we have. sorry we didn't have time for m & ms desperately trying to appease conservatives debuting a meat filled m & m that puts out. what has got you all riled up tonight? >> thanks, james. tonight we prove the white house document scandal is no big

deal using more excuses than biden's rehoboth beach linen closet. that's next on virtue signal. ♪

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sorry, barb, just to confirm, this is the feel-good news of the week? this is what we found. -yay, snapshot! fortune magazine, read about tomorrow's prosper today. welcome back. tonight, we excuse president biden's hoarding of documents based on the mitigating circumstances of him not being

donald trump. this is "virtue signal." ♪ >> hi, i'm kylie weaver. and i guess my niece is doing her my hero essay about me or something, whatever, i don't really know. top story, y'all. the luckiest justice department investigators in the world got to live my dream of spending 13-straight hours at joe biden's literal home in delaware. although instead of giving major a makeover and going total goof ball mode with jill, they apparently uncovered more classified documents. and sure, when trump took classified documents -- >> i said we should blast him into the sun, which he looked at that one time. probably because he thought it was a hamburger, but when biden did it, it was different. >> this is vastly different. >> vastly different. >> that's different. >> it is very, very different. >> couldn't be more dissimilar. >> stark differences.

>> yes, liberals, forget pervasive bipartisan corruption and focus on the winning argument that biden did the same illegal thing as trump only better. joining me in the echo chamber is former biden white house communications director who asked her grandmother on her deathbed what she thought about the debt ceiling, jordan polce. >> hello. >> former dnc chair whose worried talbots is getting a little too whorish for her taste, charlotte fitzgerald. >> good evening. >> and the lincoln project senior adviser who has never successfully pictured anything in his head except a slightly bigger donut than the one he was holding, troy lawson. >> hi, kylie. >> okay, panel. i am sick of the media both-sidesing this issue just because both sides are guilty of the same thing. who's with me? >> yes, biden took those top secret documents as souvenirs because he's so sentimental. what, now men can't have emotions? >> some of these are classified documents that biden took while he was the vice president to obama.

you can't do something wrong when obama was president. >> droeb strikes are precision. obviously these are the only excuses we can think of in this quantum plane, but there are presumably an infinite number of -- multiverses with even more totally not pained and sweaty excuses. and to find them, i commission the construction of this absolutely gag-worthy particle accelerator. >> whoa. >> oh, my god. >> ugh, i love stem. bill nye, the science guy, can lowkey get it. >> let's see an excuse dpr for biden possessing classified documents from an entirely different dimension. oh, okay. here's one. the intern did it. >> wow! >> that could work. >> so cool. we have to move on. we cover a lot of light salacious stories but it's time for a serious topic -- george santos. ♪ that's right, folks.

the flash, apparently official, congressman george santos lied about partying in drag in brazil in 2008. panel, can you believe one of the people in the corrupt impotent pit of wealth slaves we call a legislature is a fraudy lie guy? >> this george santos does not deserve to sit next to congressional ill luminaries like the accused sex trafficker, the accused sex enabler and those who texted their stockbroker five seconds into their first secret covid briefing. >> totally. >> that is so right. >> oh my god, something is wrong with the collider. >> it's being so random right now. >> oh, no. >> who are these fine specimens? >> troy, those are you from other dimensions. >> i didn't know i was a friggin' supermodel. hey, what skin diseases do you all have? i got ringworm. psoriasis. eczema.

i got insects in my ears. >> wow. we're the same yet vastly different. >> wow. >> i got insects in my ears. >> troy, you should show the other troys your room. >> great idea, kylie. you guys are bunking with me. i assume everyone's good with boiling liquid cheese for dinner? >> yep. >> okay. i have a charity event or whatever, so let's wrap it there. thank you to my analysts. >> any time! >> totally. >> any time! any time! any time! any time! >> when "tooning out the news" returns, the conservative hot take asks bomani jones if the nfl's gone woke by pausing a game to save a player's life. that's ahead. >> announcer: "tooning out the news" the podcast is available news" the podcast is available thursdays wherever you get your - bedtime!! - bedtime. ♪♪

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podcasts. ♪ >> prego italian sauce. made with earth's sugaryist tomatoes. hey, it's host you should just let cheat at board games cause the tantrum isn't worth it, tyler templeton. alongside co-host whose mom says the statue the middle of town is her dad, bonnie davis. co-host, who has dated every meat packing foreman in her state, susan sheppard. and co-host warned by a cartel to quit being such an annoying part of mexico city's cocktail scene, austin sparks. if zelenskyy speaks at the oscars, then putin must be invited to the mtv awards to read the nominees for best kiss. this is "hot take."

♪ >> what's up, gas station bagel cellophane swallowers? top story -- despite it perfectly quenching our thirst for blood and violence, the national football league is not without controversy. most recently, squeamish fans were in a tizzy over buffalo bill's player damar hamlin's heart stopping on the field. for just a few short minutes. here to agree with me me getting my feelings hurt real back is host of hbo's "game theory" bomani jones. what's up, bomani? >> how you doing, man? >> fantastic. bomani, do you find it a little strange that a peace-loving country like america would wholeheartedly embrace such a violent sport like football? >> i mean, if we're being honest, watching people knock each other around, is typically kind of entertaining. like this is one of those things where sometimes we got to be honest with ourselves about what's going on here.

and like an inappropriate joke is not necessarily a joke that isn't funny, it's just not appropriate. that's kind of where we are with football. like we acknowledge that it's a lot of fun. it's just a question as to whether or not it's really appropriate. that's a very american conundrum. >> i appreciate that the news media focussed on the hard news story. damar hamlin's feel-good recovery instead of the pointless fluff of how players get mortally injured and who profits from it. >> look, rihanna needs to step it up during her halftime show and sing umbrella while attacking a dancer with an umbrella. >> absolutely. moving on, there's big money in football. especially if you count all the cash made by draftkings that was supposed to be spent on child support. last year, partnerships with sports gambling companies and casinos represented a significant chunk of the nfl's record 1.8 billion in sponsorship revenue. i bet that it was 1.9 billion. i'm screwed. my daughter's college fund is gone. excuse me. bomani, are you comfortable with

the normalization of sports gambling, and can i borrow $200,000? >> no, i can't really help you out with the 200 grand. >> no! >> it is a little bit weird, like people gamble on sports, but that's not really the reason that anybody got into it in the first place. and it's not even like we're gambling simply on who's going to win. you're gambling on who's going to win by how much, like we watch games to see who's actually going to win. you don't have to watch to see who covers. but every single sports broadcast has got the lines and the odds and everywhere, all over the place, which is basically like advertising for cocaine. >> now, bomani's selfish refusal to bail me out brings me to what has become a reoccurring segment called, i'm so sorry, honey. i'm so sorry, honey. i'll make back the money. i promise. oh, oh god. and that's, i'm so sorry, honey. >> the only threat to sports gambling is we still have bizarre non-gambling,

non-digital currency pathways to upward mobility. we all know the solution. >> burn down the schools. >> you say you want to burn what? >> the schools. >> burn the schools! >> not just the books, the whole school? >> absolutely. >> the school. >> that's where they hide the books. moving on, 9/11 mvp saudi arabia is absolutely killing it when it comes to the life of journalists and sports-washing their reputation. most recently signing soccer star cristiano ronaldo to a 75-million dollar per year contract. bomani, some anti-murder dorks are upset about athletes accepting saudi money. but isn't it a greater sin to miss out on an easy buck? >> yeah. i've heard that argument before. if they think it's going to make anybody think any different about them, i think they have a drastic misunderstanding. they can have all the events in the world, and they can do all the sports before the people whose minds they need to change. if they keep dressing the way that they dress, nobody's going to be convinced. i'm sorry. people just aren't as sophisticated as they seem to think. they don't think that just cause

you have sports stuff that it says anything about you as a person. >> saudi vomt in sports can be good for their human rights record. if the sports journalists are giving on camera commentary during the match. they can't be dismembered until after the post-game show. >> now, obviously the saudi investment fund has a lot of cash to throw at sports. if they're watching right now, i just want to say this is not a news show. this is sports. >> oh, yeah. >> absolutely. >> for sure. >> let me explain, we all have high-impact concussions. we all eat 5,000 calories per day, carb-heavy diets, and we've had to change the name of the show 15 times because it was offensive. but of course, we're not a sport unless we have brutal on-camera injuries. so, on the count of three, drop the studio light upon thine head. and -- >> one, two -- [ screams ] >> wow. austin, that was awesome. saudi investment fund my preferred currency is nosebleed tickets to steally dan.

thank you to my co-hosts and esteemed guest, bomani jones. thanks, bomani. >> thank you. >> he is the host of "game theory with bomani jones" on hbo. when "tooning out the news" returns, austin has a special announcement about the future of sparks. stick around. >> announcer: follow "tooning out the news" on facebook, twitter, instagram and tiktok for hey charlie the tuna here... how does she do it, by refueling with starkist tuna, salmon and chicken pouches. tear, eat and go... with starkist pouches. try starkist smart bowls. grains, veggies and tuna, it's a grain bowl in a pouch. ooh, the chewy app. clumping litter. salmon paté? we have enough to splurge on catnip toys! i feel so accomplished. pet me please! great prices. happy pets. chewy. tony here from creditrepair.com, helping people see the gtrue cost of bad credit. what are you doing to improve your credit? should i be doing something? absolutely, unless you like paying

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future