tv The Daily Show Comedy Central January 31, 2023 11:00pm-11:35pm PST
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- how's it going? good day? - not now, temp. - um, okay. so, um, listen. i know about your diabolical plan. - what? diabolical plan? i wouldn't even know how to begin a dia... - i found a copy of it in the copier tray. - so what do you want? - i want the same thing you want. i want to take jim halpert down. i want in. captioning by captionmax www.captionmax.com ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, d.l. hughley! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪
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>> d.l.: hey, what's going on, everybody? how are you doing, everybody? welcome to "the daily show." i am d.l. hughley. the producers wanted me to take my glasses off but they realized my eyes were just as red. this is -- a lot of people in here. this is great. it is funny, because in america, we don't know a lot about the rest of the world. he would have a world championship with just us in aunt. it would be new york versus l.a. for the world championship. [laughter] all right. we've got a great show for you tonight. we will talk about the news and pj martin is going to perform a wonderful song. [cheers and applause] but of course, first, we need to get into the headlines. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪
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we will be dealing with more fallout from the killing of tyre nichols because this story is certainly not over. a seventh cop got suspended and two emts and a fire truck driver that were fired for not helping tyre fast enough. the real sign that the story is not going anywhere anytime soon, tucker carlson, the grown dude with the bangs -- [laughs] he keeps finding stupid shit to say. >> the race riots of 2020 of course were never about george floyd, obviously. that's why there are no statues of him in american cities. [audience response] >> d.l.: he is so obsessed with black people, i'm going to start calling him sickle cell. [laughs] look at you, "not that funny." [laughter] to be clear, george floyd did not get a statue. it might be because to get a statue in america you got to do horrible things to
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black people. you can get one for slaughtering 300 black prisoners during the civil war. you can get one for conducting medical experiments on enslaved black woman without anesthesia. and the last guy, he got a statue without killing black people, but he did meet the shit out of apollo creed. that was rocky. and then when drago killed rocky come he got a statue. i am shocked, george floyd does have statues all around the country. but you didn't recognize them because that looks like levar burton. he fell off so he didn't get that "jeopardy" gig, that is crazy. are you all going to be with me or not?
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let's do this. [laughs] [applause] you are in, you have to pick a side. all right, let's move onto more news. and the tech world, there were layoffs, of course, every tech company is letting people go. evers on amazon, microsoft, google, facebook. i saw siri begging for change on the subway this morning. i was like, "alexa, give this bitch a quarter!" [applause] i think i know where the line is now. and surely, there is no good way to fire your employees, but there's definitely some pretty bad ways. there was one ceo who just found out. >> the ceo of a tech company based in san francisco has posted an apology letter after she quoted martin luther king jr. in a layoff letter sent to employees last week. pagerduty ceo jennifer tejada
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sent the letter to employees announcing layoffs on thursday. toward the end of the letter, tejada closed with the words of martin luther king jr., saying in part, "i'm reminded in moments like this of something martin luther king said that the ultimate measure of a leader is not where they stand in the moments of comfort and convenience, but where they stand in times of challenge and controversy. [audience reacts] >> d.l.: who gets fired with martin luther king quotes? like, "i have been to the mountaintop and they ain't hiring either!" [applause] "i have a dream. and you can, too, since there ain't no reason for you to get up early anymore!" "free at last, free at last. here's your severance package, you're free at last." but to be fair, she did find a way to say that she was sorry. >> after facing negative feedback, tejada posted an
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apology letter to the company's website saying, "there are a number of things i would do differently if i could. the quote i included from dr. martin luther king jr. was inappropriate and insensitive. i am sorry." >> d.l.: yeah. after the king thing didn't work, she went to the words of adolf hitler, "i blame the jews!" come on, [bleep], i'm not kanye. it's just a joke, relax. speaking of hitler, there are some people in ohio who are getting in big trouble for their ideas on what to teach children. >> multiple online news sources are reporting that an ohio couple is supplying "nazi-approved material" for home schooling. >> new details are emerging tonight about an online channel called "dissident homeschool." the channel already has more than 2,000 subscribers. according to yahoo news, it includes ready made lesson plans on various subjects, like confederate general robert e. lee and martin luther king jr., who they say is the antithesis of our civilization and our people.
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it also includes things like printouts, so students can learn to write adolf hitler quotes in cursive and tips to "avoid jewish media content." >> d.l.: wow. "antithesis." i got a ged. what does that mean? don't call me a name i don't understand. [laughs] like, homeschool kids are already weird enough. you don't want to add goose-stepping to the program. that is crazy. for more on this school, let's go to desi lydic, who is live in ohio. desi, how are parents feeling about this story? [cheers and applause] >> they are furious, d.l., as am i. these lesson plans are shocking. they teach hate, they teach racism, they teach cursive. it's disgusting. >> d.l.: wait, was that last one cursive? >> i know!
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can you imagine, in 2023, american children learning cursive? it's useless! the only acceptable time to use cursive is when you're forging a bank signature. >> d.l.: wait a minute, your problem with the nazi school is that they're teaching cursive? >> i mean, it's not my only problem. nazism is one of the world's most evil ideologies! >> d.l.: yes. >> but have you seen cursive, d.l.? i mean, look at how you're supposed to write a "q"! what is that? that's not a "q," it's a 2! all these nazis are going to accidentally join 2-anon! [applause] and look at the "g!" it looks like a diagram of my least favorite sexual position. you all know the one.
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>> d.l.: desi, i think the bigger danger is that this school is spreading nazi ideas. >> uhh, not if they're writing those ideas out in cursive! [laughs] i mean, that's not gonna get the message out. "here, read what i wrote about the jews!" "all i am sitting right here is squiggle, squiggle, lube, reverse cowgirl. what?" oh, i'm the only one. [applause] >> d.l.: desi, i don't think cursive is the problem. i know how to write cursive. >> [gasps] like a nazi? yeah, for your sake, i really hope you've just been forging bank signatures. >> d.l.: you know what? forget it. desi lydic, everyone. [cheers and applause] we're gonna take a quick break,
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jordan klepper followed him there for another episode of "fingers the pulse." ♪ ♪ >> this past weekend, donald trump finally hit the campaign trail. so i headed down to south carolina for what was originally a maga rally but later downgraded to an intimate event. what is this event? >> a trump rally. >> it is a rally? >> i would say it was. >> it's not a rally. it is somewhat of a rally but not a big one. >> i thought it was a rally. >> a bunch of people standing in line. >> it's an event, its invited list only. >> a private event that vips have been invited to. >> yes, only have only heavily vetted vip's were invited like this guy. >> donald trump in south carolina. >> trump. >> it is not a rally, it is a leadership forum, a form of leadership teams. >> i see a guy like this, this guy has got two date circled on
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his calendar. cinco de mayo and january 6th. it was packed with classic style and classic taste. >> donald trump is president right now. >> he is currently the president? >> absolutely. >> he is still president. there is a lot of things that this biden person does not have, like the presidential seal and things like that, that are pretty obvious. >> biden doesn't have the presidential seal? when he speaks, there's a presidential seal in front of him. >> it is not real? >> what is he doing as president? >> he is in charge of the military. the military is in charge of the whole thing. >> donald trump was put in charge of 28 he had when they were assigned as executive order. >> the american military honors at her going to ukraine, we have donald trump to thank for that? >> there's two militaries? >> there's the good and the bad. >> there's two militaries? donald trump is in charge of the good one, biden is in charge of the bad military? >> that is exactly right. >> fortunately, there were some supporters who still believe an
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election cycle is actually necessary, and were serious about planning a prolonged campaign. >> just been doing a lot of preparations, a lot of testing the waters. >> talking to advisories. >> yeah, pretty much. >> kanye west, the ones who will shape that point of view of this campaign. >> the original trump brand is still strong. >> what is that? >> that is where the shooting starts. >> but a new election cycle could be a different tone. >> what are you seeing that is different about trump and his tone with this kind of an event? >> it is more elevated. more mature level. it is almost like he is finally listening to them a little bit as far as toning some of it down. >> are you seeing the maga community being more serious and respectful? >> if you watch the conservative rhetoric, it looks like they still loves america. >> it still respects positions of power in this country.
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>> police, military. >> executive branch, exactly. what does your hat say? >> i give a shit about the president. [laughs] >> this approach is already attacking biden's approach of the war in ukraine while lauding trump's brilliant yet still theoretical approach. >> we would have never, ever gone in, and even now, i could sell that in 24 hours. >> trump says he could pick up the phone and end this thing and 24 hours. what actually would he say? >> he would be that kind of tone. >> you think, totally, knock it off, vladimir putin. >> because he knows trump stands up and says, hey, i will do it. >> you wish biden with threat of nuclear war? >> no, no. trump stands, says, hey, stop doing this. >> okay. >> or you got to have a rattle behind a saber. >> right, which is? >> troops, but you don't want to do troops because then you have all-out war. >> so what would it be? >> the threat of it.
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speak of the threat of troops? >> so you want trump to get in office and promised to put troops into that war? >> no, i would want him to stop it verbally because you don't want to military into it because then it escalates. >> he would say verbally, you have to have some sort of backup. >> correct. >> you would want trump to have backup which is no troops? >> he has the troops. >> you would support troops being sent in? >> you don't want to send troops end. >> seems like a complicated situation. >> it is very complicated. >> for some of these nonrally goers, doesn't have to be that complicated. >> haven't seen any news reports about the war in ukraine? >> where do you get your news? >> newsmax. >> have it they covered it all? >> there is no bar to cover. it is fabricated, and i think the president of ukraine, i believe that this is all obstruction money. >> i spent a lot of time in hungary and i spent a lot of people -- met a lot of people who were coming from ukraine to try to find safe haven, they
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were refugees laying what they said was a war zone. where they lying? >> they might be actors as far as i know, i believe they might be actors. speak all of those people i met in hungary, they were refugees -- >> i believe that the government is paying them to do much. >> that is a lot a lot of actors. that will cost you billions. >> the trump's campaign first round of invites, america is in for a sweet, sweet ride. [cheers and applause] >> d.l.: thank you, jordan. all right, stay tuned because when we come back, pj morton will be joining me on the show. and you do not want to go away. [cheers and applause]
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[cheers and applause] >> d.l.: welcome back to "the daily show." my next guest is a grammy award-winning, singer, songwriter, producer and keyboardist for maroon 5. he's here to talk about his latest solo album, "watch the sun." please welcome pj morton! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] >> my man. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> d.l.: i don't need to remind you, that the world is watching right now, literally. you are -- you've got a lot of jobs. so you will work no matter what. singer, songwriter, producer. which one is your favorite? >> you know, performer. i really love getting in front of people and saying all of the work, you put into this into the
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songs, really seeing it in real life and real time, performing has always been my favorite i think. >> d.l.: you have a couple of different genres, one is of course r&b and the other is gospel. what is the difference between -- do you just like put jesus in more songs? >> i actually consider myself a solo artist, soul music, which i think that foundation of church, i don't necessarily come as an artist, do exquisitely gospel songs. >> d.l.: do you know what to song has to have to be a gospel song as opposed to a set clear wow secular? >> it comes from the same place, talking about love for a person, love for god, comes from the same place for me, so it is not until i start saying, you know, what i am saying. that is when i know what it is. but it doesn't start that way, like, something sounds gospel can easily be r&b. >> d.l.: because i don't go to church because the cover charge to high.
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[laughter] [laughter] you know? i started going to church when church came on tv on sunday. like, i can stay right here. but i think it is important because i think that one of the things that happen with music, whether it is a secular or gospel, is that it inspires you. if it is supposed to be great music, it makes you want to dance, that is classic, but if it makes you want to praise the lord, that is a different thing. but they all come from this wellspring. like, you have this wellspring that -- is that based on experiences? or do you just kind of find them? >> yeah, for me, i like the songs to be a reflection of life. and my life entails all of that. it entails love, ed entails the weather being nice, it entails my faith, so i talk about all of those things, and pull from them as i see fit, or
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really, i say the music tells me what to say. >> d.l.: you already know what the music is. >> once i start with the music and start to hear the melody, then it starts to tell me what it is saying, you know? i am just a vessel at that point, trying to say what i feel and hear. >> d.l.: you talked about how you were inspired during the quarantine. that was a really rough time for a lot of people. spending that much time with your family. >> [laughs] >> because they are strangers. is picking up that away from everyone, off the stage, not being able to go to a studio, some people didn't have -- for some people, they had their creative strategy but you found it -- >> i feel like it's a cheat code. sometimes i feel guilty for having that ability to release like that. i mean, i was able to go inward in such a tough time, but then i think the flip side of that is, i am able to speak for a lot of people who were going through that and be a voice for them, you know, and that is what i
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feel like my job is. so i do have an advantage of having that release, but then i share that advantage with the world. >> d.l.: i write jokes, i write books, but one thing about songwriters, being a songwriter is like describing a sound. it is something -- i can't even understand where it comes from. but when you think of all of the songs you have written, the places you have learned although songs, what is the most inspirational? when did you know the song was already ready, you knew everything went -- you knew this was going to be, it would be this thing and this place? >> yeah, i mean, currently, i am up for r&b song of the year at the grammys. [cheers and applause] >> d.l.: congratulations. >> i will say, it was the first song that i wrote on this specific album, and it kind of road itself. it was one of those where, it is going so fast. it can't just be me. it was a rhythm.
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"please don't walk away" is the name of the song, it is a special one. i knew it immediately. >> d.l.: why is it special? >> i do it before it had lyrics, it was speaking. we knew in the studio it was special. the first thing i said, it was like chills. it was on of the road was moving on its own. i am always super grateful. >> d.l.: is at your favorites on your road? >> favorite ever? right now, favorite ever is that when i am doing here, "be like water" >> d.l.: wait a minute. [laughter] >> it is inspired by that, inspired by that overall con concept, and what stevie wonder is my hero and he is on that song. [cheers and applause] and that would have been enough, but then nas is also on the song with cb so right now that is my favorite. >> d.l.: you got nas, stevie, and jesus.
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[cheers and applause] >> d.l.: welcome back to "the daily show." now to play "be like water," from his album "watch the sun," here's pj morton! ♪ ♪ >> ♪ be like water, let it flow ♪ ♪ water, just let go ♪ ♪ be like water, where we'll end up, we don't know ♪ ♪ water, just let it flow ♪ ♪ i think by now you should know ♪ ♪ things won't always go your way ♪ ♪ can't change things you can't control ♪
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♪ so, let those worries wash away ♪ ♪ just be like water, ah, let it flow ♪ ♪ be like water ♪ ♪ be like water, where we'll end up, we don't know ♪ ♪ water, just let it flow ♪ ♪ obstacles seem to be everywhere ♪ ♪ elevators out of order, use the stairs ♪ ♪ but don't you ever let it make you question your path ♪ ♪ be that still and quiet or as loud as a crash ♪ ♪ be like water, let it flow ♪ ♪ water, just let go ♪ ♪ be like water, where we'll end up, we don't know ♪ ♪ water, just let it flow ♪
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♪ water, just let go ♪ ♪ be like water, where we'll end up, we don't know ♪ ♪ ♪ you are a seed that has been sown ♪ ♪ waiting in the water ♪ ♪ know that you are not buried to die ♪ ♪ but to testify ♪ ♪ it made so imagine ♪ ♪ even if you don't, the truth believer takes no ♪ ♪ ♪ be like water, yeah, let it flow ♪ ♪ water, just let go ♪ ♪ be like water, where we'll end up, we don't know ♪
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♪ water, just let go ♪ [cheers and applause] ♪♪ -tonight on "tooning out the news," the conservative "hot take" tells hbo's bomani jones that we need nfl violence because it's most americans' only chance to see a doctor treat someone they care about. then the liberal "virtue signal" rushes to biden's defense, searching the multiverse for a reality where trump hoarding documents is high treason but biden doing it is a cute hobby. but first, the trump-desantis war begins with desantis trying to rid schools of the critical thinking necessary to realize he's getting destroyed on the debate stage. it's time for some "big news." ♪♪
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