[cheers and applause] >> d.l.: well, that's our show for this evening, but before we go: please consider supporting the boris lawrence henson foundation. they're a non profit that improves mental health services for black communities. if you want to support them in their work, please donate at the link below. now, here it is. your "moment of zen."

>> the empire state building was lit up in the eagles colors. what were you guys thinking? >> i don't know why we are celebrating philadelphia in new york. >> go buy a building in philly. >> if the red sox would mark the world series, are we going to do red sox colors? it is insane. >> on your mind blown. whwhat the hell was that? ♪ ♪ zillow, the video game for white women. tonight on "tooning out the news," hot take enlists in the culture wars, arguing that disney going woke betrays the values it championed with the racist caricatures on the "it's a small world" ride. then, "inside the hill" tutors gen z congressman maxwell frost on how to kill time during the daily three-hour freedom caucus vote on whether kevin mccarthy is allowed to eat that day. but first, president biden is under pressure to pass police reform, despite previously announcing a bold mission to create a crop that grows policemen. it's time for some big news.

♪ good evening, i'm host and the fun chaperone, james smartwood. top story, the police killing of tyre nichols has the nation wondering how best to tinker with the big violent gang we overpay to terrorize us. president biden, or very possibly chatgpt, issued this statement. "real and lasting change will only come if we take action to prevent tragedies like this from ever happening again. that is why i called on congress to send the george floyd justice in policing act to my desk." president biden, of course, faces strong opposition from the most powerful person on earth, joe biden, like a minute ago. >> the answer is not to defund the police. it's to fund the police. the answer is not to defund the police. the answer is to fund the police. the answer is not, defund the police. it's, fund the police. >> perhaps biden is hoping that if we give police enough cash, they won't commit violence because it will be too much to

wade through. joining me now is democratic strategist kicked out of big sisters of america for making her kid knock or doors for tom steyer, lydia parker. >> good evening. >> chief washington bureau chief who frequently helplessly watches someone steal his food delivery, jonathan keene. >> hello. >> chief field market officer who approaches the supermarket manager to report that he is lost, james smartwood jr. >> hey, dad. >> plus cbs news senior white house correspondent and tooning out contributor who included the phrase "and this is a two-parter" in her wedding vows, weijia jiang. thank you so much for joining us, weijia. >> great to be with you guys. >> coming to you first, the congressional black caucus has invited tyre nichols' parents to the state of the union and is urging biden to discuss the incident in the state of the union address when he's not declaring the covid pandemic over inside the petri dish for the next strain. what is president biden's path forward here? >> the white house says that the president has already, you know, done what he can through executive action, and it really puts the burden on lawmakers to do more.

so, i think we should expect president biden to talk about this during his second state of the union, which will unfold next week. and as you mentioned, tyre nichols' family will be there, so it's really difficult to imagine that he won't talk about it and say, you know, something to honor their son. >> the silver lining to this tragedy is we had no violent riots. i'd hate to think of a bank window not making it home to its family. >> we all saw the paul pelosi video. we need cops to do what they do best, mosey up to the door and say, hey, what's going on here? >> i don't understand why our culture has such a soft spot for cops. anyways, new show coming to cbs. check it out. >> tonight on "hero justice squad: justice unit" detective jason storm faces his toughest case yet, 9:00 p.m. only on cbs. >> oh hell yeah. >> love that. >> looming large over this debate with their hands on their holsters is the massive influence of police unions.

according to open secrets, police unions and associations have spent over $48 million on state lobbying and contributed almost $71 million to state level candidates and committees in the last decade alone. that figure seems high until you factor in the retirement savings from cops willfully dying of covid. with a police union this strong, can we expect a historically major victory like mandating a less menacing shade of tank paint? >> you're absolutely right. politicians, elected officials are sometimes worried about appearing soft on crime, about giving their opponents an opening if they do support police reform to say, that candidate, that lawmaker doesn't care about fighting crime. >> hey, the police union also does good things like provide health coverage when a cop breaks his hand trying to punch through an innocent motorist's sternum. it does raise the question whether this nation needs to seriously re-evaluate its reverence for cops. i mean, is the police state just reinforcing our racial caste

system here in -- >> tonight on an all new "hero justice squad," detective jason storm is back, and he's investigating two pervert cartoon news anchors who criticize policemen because they hate america. 9:00 p.m., only on cbs. >> awesome. >> did that promo just attack us directly? >> it didn't. it's just a normal promo for a show about how cops are heroes, and cartoon news anchors should be team players and move on. 9:00 p.m., only on cbs. >> okay, moving on here. donald trump has finally breached the thin membrane of crab butter covering every entrance to mar-a-lago and hit the campaign trail, delivering speeches in new hampshire and south carolina. meanwhile, the news media and republicans continue to predict trump's demise, a conclusion appearing to rely exclusively on other news media and republicans predicting trump's demise. >> it's such exhaustion with him. >> i don't think donald trump can win a national election. >> he'll lose again. >> someone who can't move votes. >> he can't win a general election. >> he looks pretty tired. >> he's fading fast.

>> cnn, nothing says fading like six current results for the word trump alone on the front page of cnn.com. >> trump is political poison, and republican voters won't eat poison, except for the thousands who swallowed horse dewormer because trump told them to. s >> with trump's return to the campaign trail, it's time to condemn him in the hot tub we bought with the profits from the obscene ratings he delivered us in our new segment called, trump is bad." oh, buddy, trump is bad. he's bad for the country, you know? this thing is the perfect temperature. >> yes, he's a stain on the country, and, oh, well, i just felt that foot jet. that is nice. >> yep, trump, bad. man, there is nothing better than sitting in a jacuzzi with your new purebred designer hunting falcon. isn't that right, duke? >> duke is a squirrel. >> perhaps the falcon dealer ripped me off big time. either way, there is no deeper relationship than that between a man and his falcon. duke has transformed me, my sense of the environment, my instincts.

>> truly, what are you talking about? >> i'm in a hot tub too. >> no, you're not, junior, that's clearly the capitol behind you. >> what are you guys talking about? >> trump. >> so, you're not criticizing police, right? >> no, of course not. >> all righty. see you guys later. >> hey, we can still see you on the screen. >> what? >> we can still see you on the screen. >> i'm slow. these bones ain't what they used to be. >> bones? what are you talking about? >> look, just don't -- just do not say anything bad about the police, okay? >> geez, yeah, fine. >> did i tell you to watch "hero justice" or whatever it's called? >> you absolutely did. >> it's on cbs at 9:00 p.m. detective storm is on the case. >> that is "trump is bad." well, i smell s'mores so that's all the time we have. sorry we didn't have time for congressman george santos trying to convince a skeptical kevin mccarthy that his campaign had a ton of money because he won who wants to be a millionaire? up next, it's hot take. how are you using your massive platform to claim you have been

unfairly silenced tonight? >> we're on the front lines of the culture wars, arguing that xbox lowering its carbon footprint is a bad influence on the 8-year-old shouting slurs at me through their headsets. stick around. >> can i hop in the tub, please? >> do you have a bathing suit? >> no, you guys can get just as naked as i am right now. >> i don't love that idea. ♪

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crazy fast, austin sparks. let's blow through the debt ceiling just so kevin mccarthy's credit score goes to zero. this is "hot take." ♪ what's up, underpants mold force? folks, just because you've never done a tour overseas, doesn't mean you can't get ptsd when m&ms get less sexy. it's time for some dispatches from the culture wars. ♪ >> first up, microsoft xbox. microsoft has joined the radical far left by slightly lowering our mass murder simulation toys' power usage. according to their website, "xbox will schedule game app and os updates for your console at specific times that may result in lower carbon emissions. this could potentially save you money." how dare you push socialism on my xbox? it's going to become lazy and play video games all day. get off your ass, xbox, and get a job. luckily, i'm fighting back against woke cost-saving

measures by creating this ultra-inefficient xbox. plug it in here, this hog will tie up your metropolitan city's electrical grid as it heats up to a cool 1,000 degrees so you can speed up our patriotic apocalypse. if you're tough enough to get naked in front of it, doubles as a sauna heater. >> >> this is a slippery slope to kids caring about other people. what next, xbox telling me i'm not the only person on earth and everyone else isn't a hologram here to serve me? it's sick. >> that's right, hologram. next up, disney world. disney world, found by woke liberal activist anti-semite walt disney has given into cancel culture and closed the popular splash mountain ride just because splash mountain features music and characters from the controversial 1946 film, "song of the south." it's crucial for kids to learn the complicated racial history of this country through the lens of log flume rides and log flume rides only. >> exactly.

we can't just pretend this ride didn't have a complicated legacy, or we'll never be able to move forward as a theme park. >> plus, they're changing the ride to a theme from "the princess and the frog," which i assume, using my imagination, is about humans and frogs going to town on each other. we can't expose kids to what's on loop in my head. >> up next, directv dropped the conservative newsmax network because of a carriage fee dispute. but we know the truth. a far-right network is being discriminated against just for being too expensive and no one watching it. that led our leader, general george s. patty melt, donald trump, to issue this military decree. "the radical left seems to have taken over the mind and soul of at&t for directv to drop very popular newsmax without explanation will not be accepted. i, for one, will be dropping all associations with at&t and directv, and i have plenty."

that's capitalism, baby. companies should be free to do whatever they want, except when we don't like it and feel like we're about to cry, which i never do, dad. >> where am i supposed to get my conservative media now? the internet? facebook? tiktok? a.m. radio? podcasts? newsletters? the other right-wing channels directv carries? where? >> yeah. >> directv is about to lose so many customers that only installed a big satellite on their roof so they could watch greg kelly. that's a thing that actually happened a lot. >> a lot at least. the left claims to love education, but they're shutting down the only network featuring anchors clearly still learning to read the words on their teleprompters. >> yeah, and need i remind you, two or 3,000 years ago, the romans didn't want to pay a carriage fee to a little conservative media corporation named jesus christ. >> yeah, right? >> yeah. >> yeah. and that's the -- whoops -- and that's the latest from the front lines of the culture wars.

♪ all right, when "tooning out the news" returns, inside the hill nails gen z congressman maxwell frost for conducting an interview without a lobbyist sitting on his lap. that's ahead. >> announcer: "tooning out the news" the podcast is available thursdays wherever you get your podcasts. ♪ hey dark roast drinkers. it's dunkin'. the place you didn't think was for you. well meet the side of dunkin' you haven't seen. the darkest, roastiest, side we've ever had. pretty good dark voice, huh? dunkin' midnight. america runs on dunkin'. i need to find a valentines gift fast. i went to 1-800flowers.com, and that changed the game. you know what makes flowers even better? flowers and a gift. boom! try some?

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1-800-contacts. our website is a phone number. tonight, we show gen z congressman maxwell frost how to fit in with his congressional colleagues by addressing steny hoyer as, my esteemed colleague, before telling him he's wearing his underwear over his pants. >> let's go inside the hill. ♪ >> i'm sarah sabo, and my hamptons house sofa is bigger than most bounce houses. >> i'm rich ballard and news of sweeping massive layoffs is my viagra. >> joining us is "wall street journal" columnist who thinks art loses something when it gets returned to its homeland, eleanor palmer. >> hello. >> and princeton history professor who does a little skip when he remembers that dalmatians are real, dr. ike bloom. >> good evening. >> let's jump in. two high-profile mass shootings

just days apart have president biden demanding action from the group that refuses to quit unless a single thing gets in their way. congress. >> my buddy, dianne feinstein, introduced her senate weapons assault weapons ban. i'm asking you all to send that to my desk as quickly as you can. it's really needed badly. >> i'm sorry but there's no way to pass a law that has the support of a majority of americans. it's not a bill to spend a trillion dollars on untraceable military spending. >> such a measure may be designed to help kids, but it could banish the kids of gun manufacturers to a dreaded life of a middle class upbringing. >> for shame. here to discuss is newly elected democratic congressman, maxwell frost of florida. thanks for joining us. >> thanks for having me on. >> congressman, you rose to national prominence when you became the national organizing director for march for our lives, and now you're a vice chair of the house gun violence prevention task force.

can you credibly represent all your constituents and not just the small sliver who don't want to be gunned down at a farmers market? >> well, i 100% can. and i'll say, it's not just a small sliver. most of my constituents want action on gun violence prevention. that's why they elected me with an overwhelming majority. this is one of the issues that i ran on, is ensuring that we can live in a world where we have the freedom to live without being gunned down at a restaurant or grocery store, et cetera. >> the constitution and its many amendments, including the second, are sacred and were never meant to be revised, altered, or amended. >> let me say this. gun violence is a central part of the american fabric, and if we take it away, we'll have an identity crisis. i don't want america finding itself backpacking in rome when i'm there. >> very good point. let's move on to the brutal killing of tyre nichols by members of the memphis police department's so-called scorpion unit, because scorpions are known for their cool-headed

nuanced public service. >> "meet the press" host chuck todd took a rare break for apologizing for existing to ask jim jordan about policing. an unfamiliar topic, since he's never called them, even when abused wrestlers asked him to. >> what action would you like to see congress take? >> i don't know that there's any law that can stop that evil that we saw. i don't know that any law, any training, any reform is going to change that this man was handcuffed, they continued to beat him. >> that's right. if cops do something bad, nothing can be done. if hunter biden takes a dick pic, we need to call in the air force. >> congressman frost, is congressman jordan right that laws won't help, or is he simply going through his nihilistic nothing-matters goth phase? >> he's going through that goth phase. look, it's not just a phase. this has been his politics. we believe, we're an institution where we're passing laws because we believe they can affect the way that our country works. they can positively impact working families and all people in this country.

i mean, imagine if generations ago, when the civil rights movement was at its peak and people were fighting for justice, if people like jim jordan said, laws are not going to do anything, it's just human nature, there's just evil in the world. i wouldn't be on the show with y'all, and in fact, dr. bloom wouldn't be either. >> by labeling these acts as evil, congressman jordan is evoking the great mythic quests of tolkien and jules vern where when the brave heroes confront evil, they let evil do its thing. >> you did not attend an elite boarding school, so you're a know-nothing dunce, but we're here to help. >> it's time for some inside the hill private tutoring, congress edition. >> we'll ask some questions to prepare you for the congressional journey ahead. we hope you don't find this condescending. it's supposed to be patronizing. you ready? >> i'm excited to learn. >> great. >> okay. first question, in the congressional commissary, you see a seat open next to a congressman. do you, a, ask if you can join

them or b, find another seat since they're obviously leaving space for their colostomy bag? >> c, grab my food and go back to my office and eat there. >> good luck eating after seeing that bag. >> next question. you're in the house of representatives, and hear an alarm. does that mean, a, it's time for a vote, or b, lauren boebert's beretta set off the metal detector. >> it could be either one, but usually the buzz on the clock means it's a vote. >> now, next question. what is the most urgent health crisis? is it, a, millions without health insurance, or b, insurance companies refuse to pay for news anchor's third elective nose job? >> that's a hard one, but i'm going to have to go with "a." >> next question. you hear yelling in the halls of congress. is it, a, two lawmakers debating raising the debt ceiling, or b, matt gaetz yelling at an airline operator that a teen's library should count as i.d.? >> b probably happened, but "a."

>> trick question. spirit airlines doesn't check i.d. last question, you're in a top-secret briefing about an approaching mega virus. do you call on the cdc to take action or call your stockbroker and immediately tell them to buy stock in embalming chemicals? >> because i own no stocks, i'm going to go with "a." >> it's like an alien. like talking to an alien. >> you have so much to learn. and that's inside the hill private tutoring, congress edition. >> well, i got to go outbid someone on ebay for a harpoon, so that's all the time we have. >> thank you to our analysts and congressman maxwell frost. thank you, congressman. >> thank you so much for having me on. >> of course. when "tooning out the news" returns, we explain why senator dianne feinstein's political career is just getting started. >> announcer: follow "tooning out the news" on facebook, twitter, instagram, and tiktok for exclusive content.

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