yeah, it's a good day. pam, that was amazing. but i am still looking for someone with a sales background. ♪ flintstones meet the flintstones ♪ my name is andrew bernard. i was with a group called dunder-mifflin. hello? ♪ ♪ >> announcer: from new york city, the only city in america, it's the show that invented news. this is "the daily show" with your host, sarah silverman! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause]

>> sarah: welcome to "the daily show." i'm sarah silverman and this is my last night hosting the show! and i'm so sad to leave. i was just getting comfortable doing that thing where you're mean to the crew guys but in a loving way. i'll miss you, rich, ya dumb bastard. take care, charlie, you ugly piece of shit. steve... your wife's cheating on you! we've got a great show for you tonight. so let's get into headlines! ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] let's begin with kim jong un, the only brutal dictator made in a build-a-bear workshop. this week, the north korean leader announced a new law that no one else in the country can have the same name as his ten-year-old daughter, ju-ae. and this hits me personally, because i'm --

you are ahead of it. i'm pretty jew-ay. but just imagine how much this would suck for all the other ju-aes out there. they have to change their name now. you'd have to switch your name on your internet bill, your cable bill, your newspaper subscription. i mean, they don't have any of those there, but still! moving on to some important news from the world of science. i was listening to the radio yesterday, and i heard something that stopped me short. take a listen. >> it's now 5:03 and penis length is on the rise. [cheers and applause] >> sarah: what kind of radio station is this? "we've got weather on the ones and penis on the threes!" but yes, according to a new study, the average erect penis length has increased 24% over the last three decades, to 5.5 inches. [cheers and applause]

i know, right? the women in the audience are going, "that's it?" and the men are like, "oh, thank god!" now no one is sure why this happens. my theory is that in 1993, men started measuring their penis from their assholes. this is not how we expected men to evolve over the last 30 years. women have been saying, "we just want you to be more in touch with your emotions." and men are like, "all we can give you is a longer dick." we are like, okay, we will take it. but let's move on to the 2024 presidential election, where gop candidate nikki haley is coming out of the with a rally that featured a very interesting opening act. >> this is john hagee. he is an american pastor and a televangelist with the history of making outlandishly offensive

comments. in 2006, he claimed that hurricane katrina was god's way of punishing the city for allowing a gay pride parade. he once claimed that god sent hitler to hunt the jewish people as part of a divine plan to drive them back to the land of israel. and he claimed that women are only meant to be mothers and bear children. but pastor hagee has found a presidential candidate who is willing to embrace him. today, he gave the opening prayer for the presidential campaign kickoff for former governor nikki haley. >> to pastor hagee, i still say i want to be you when i grow up. [audience reacts] >> sarah: "pastor hagee, i hope one day i can appreciate hitler as much as you do! right now, my appreciation of hitler is, like, here, but i'd like to get it up to here!" [applause] and sure, this guy thinks the holocaust is good, and that's not good.

but on the right side, he does believe it happened. you got to take the ws where you can. he wasn't the only notable person there last night. jordan klepper also headed down to nikki haley's rally for another installment of "fingers the pulse." check it out. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ >> nikki haley, the former south carolina governor and trump u.n. ambassador, has decided to throw her hat in the ring and run against her old boss. so i went to her campaign launch in south carolina to see if the party was ready to turn the page. are you excited about nikki haley for president? >> very excited. she's done great things were south carolina. she is tough. she's a woman. >> the republican party needs a change and we need someone with her foreign policy expertise. >> i love donald trump but i think that she has more of a feminine. >> you think trump has a harder time with communicating with ladies. he has a harsher approach when

it comes to women. >> he does. >> he sometimes has a hard time navigating it. >> i think she is really running -- i don't think she will win. >> so this is just sort of practice. >> it is meant to be here, why not? >> vp or president, i was curious to see how she could win over ardent trump supporters. >> i voted for trump but i will not be doing that again. >> winded trump lose your support? >> the nail in the coffin for me with donald trump -- >> let me guess. charlottesville. >> no. >> you are not going to guess it. >> kids engages. >> the insurrection january 6. >> first impeachment. >> second impeachment. >> no. >> the documents of mar-a-lago. >> no, but finishing the sentence before his election. >> wouldn't have guessed at. >> that was the nail in often. >> i would have guessed it was

kids engages. >> told you you weren't going to guess. >> that is why you talk to people, you are constantly surprised. >> haley has been a strong critic or a vocal trump ally depending on the time of day. could this pose a problem? >> do you feel like she sufficiently stood up to donald trump when she needed to? >> i think she has and i think nikki haley is not afraid to stand up to any male or female with her voice of opinion. >> yes. after january 6, she wasn't afraid to say this is disgusting. >> that's right. >> and then a couple weeks later to say, they were being too hard on him. >> yes, yes. i agreed. totally. >> an individual respects you, you can stand up to them. >> something awful happens like charlottesville -- >> she speaks her mind. >> charlottesville happens, she's not afraid to criticize trump and handed her 52 week notice. >> she knows right from wrong. >> it's a campaign is distancing itself from the far right fringe. except if you look closely at haley's first speaker, pastor hagee who has unusual views on

the weather. >> you have a responsibility, so hopefully, we can be in a more positive place. spoke of the first person i saw on stage was pastor hagee who thinks hurricanes are a punishment for gay people. >> is that really what he said? how long ago was that? >> that was around katrina. >> yeah. that is an interesting opening act. >> pastor hagee had said that hurricanes were god's punishment for gays. >> oh, no. he preaches the gospel. i followed him for years. >> maybe she wants to attract moderates, come in with a little more of a moderate pastor who thinks something more acceptable, like tornadoes are caused by too much masturbation. >> oh, my gosh. that is way out there. >> that is too far. [cheers and applause] >> sarah: thank you, jordan. all right, when we come back, i'll tell you why you're so mad, so don't go away. [cheers and applause]

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[cheers and applause] >> sarah: welcome back to "the daily show." ever notice how you hate everyone who disagrees with you? if you said yes, then you're not alone. and if you said no, then [bleep] you. but you're not the only one who feels this way. >> after 244 years together as a nation, we seem to be growing apart. >> americans are fiercely split, not only about policy, but on the basic decency of the other side. >> growing shares in each party now describe those in the other party as more closed-minded, dishonest, immoral, and unintelligent. >> according to an nbc poll, 62% of college democrats say they would not dorm with a republican. >> 80% of americans now have few or no friends across the aisle.

>> in a pullback before the last election, 15% of republicans and 20% of democrats agreed that the country would be better off if large numbers of the opposing party just died. >> sarah: we'd be better off if the other side just died? what? that's crazy. please, think about it. the entire country would be haunted by the ghosts of your enemies. enemies who, by the way, can and will watch you masturbate. and why can't you share a dorm room with someone you disagree with politically? it's a difference of opinion, not airborne chlamydia. also, it would be great to dorm with a republican. do you know how fun it would be to sexile someone who doesn't even believe in premarital sex? "sorry, don't come in, we're drying the wet spot with

your "all lives matter" shirt!" so the question is, how did we as a country become this divided? let's talk about it in our latest installment of "long story short." ♪ ♪ [cheers and applause] outrage in america isn't new. it's one of our oldest pastimes, right behind baseball and racism. but what is new is just how much money entire industries are making off of outrage. starting with social media. their entire business model depends on keeping your eyeballs on the screen until your tush gets numb on the toilet seat, and nothing does that better than anger. i've actually been on the toilet with my phone so long that i pee again. in 2018, an internal facebook

report showed that their algorithm purposely feeds users divisive content in order to increase time on the platform. we've all experienced this. i mean, personally, i'm way more likely to click on some dude's transphobic rants than another picture of my cousin's twins. don't get me wrong, both those kids are [bleep] up in their own truly fascinating way, but they're not keeping me scrolling until 2:00 a.m. and once the algorithm figures out what pisses you off, it runs with it. right off a cliff. >> in the summer of 2019, facebook ran an experiment. it created a fake account for a 41-year-old mom living in north carolina. they called her carol smith. carol started off by liking a few popular conservative facebook pages, like fox news, donald trump, and melania trump. but quickly, facebook began dragging her down a rabbit hole of misinformation. after only two days -- two days,

facebook recommended carol follow a qanon page. and a few days later, it suggested she follow another. by week three of the experiment carol's feed had become, quote, "a constant flow of misleading and polarizing content," and so facebook began sending push notifications. one notification was actually to a facebook post claiming barack obama was born in kenya. >> sarah: wow! facebook radicalized a person in just three weeks! even isis was like, "why can't we get numbers like that?" and that's just one example. everything on the internet is so sweaty. i bought one credenza from west elm in 2016, and ever since then they've been emailing me five times a day, and by the fifth one, they're so desperate, "if you check out our new throw pillows, we will suck your [bleep]." but as bad as the internet is, studies show that it's nothing

compared to how cable news increases polarization. because at least on the internet, different viewpoints sneak their way into your feeds, but nobody on earth is flipping back and forth between msnbc and fox news. except for me, because i like to break out of my bubble and watch the reverse mortgage commercials from both sides. now, all the major cable news networks rile you up to some degree, but no one is better at it than fox news. they've become the top cable news network by making their viewers livid. and they're not subtle about it, either. >> this story will have you fired up this morning. u.s. soldiers now learning about the dangers of white privilege. >> we have a story that will make your blood boil. infamous social justice warrior colin kaepernick is now the brand-new face of a nike ad campaign. >> if you just paid your taxes, this next story will piss you off. >> this is going to enrage you.

>> you are going to be outraged when we tell you what happened. >> prepare to be outraged. >> get ready to be angry. >> this story will make you sick. >> this story will make you want to throw your newspaper and make your blood boil. >> sarah: this next news story is gonna make you so mad, you'll want to punch yourself in the butthole. you'll be so mad you'll puke on your nano. you'll be so outraged by this next story you'll rip out all your pubes in one pull. thank you, cable news. now, at the top of the anger food chain are the politicians, who benefit the most from our outrage. because politicians know that rage equals donations. that's where they are constantly pushing stupor culture war issues on us whether they are real or completely made up. >> a new warning about the dangers of misinformation spreading online and making its way into political races. and this latest claim that some school districts are providing cat litter boxes for students

who identify as cats. >> the first sign of the rumor in the u.s. appears to have been at this michigan school board meeting last december, where it was discussed by a parent without proof, then shared on facebook by a chairwoman of the michigan republican party, referring to furries. the false story sneaking its way across the country and now, into republican stump speeches. >> have you heard about the litter boxes stuff? >> yeah, yeah. >> if we don't push back on the craziness, it's not gonna end. >> a cat. they put tails on and they demand that they have a litter box in the school. >> not because there's actual cats in the room, but becauserod licking themselves as though they're cats. >> we have literally got kids who think they are cats and dogs using litter boxes in , classrooms. >> sarah: no, you don't. you literally don't.

kids are not trying to shit and letterboxes in school. or at all. i mean, most kids won't shit in toilets in school, are you kidding me? other kids might know that you shit, and that's a secret. this is how i know it's a lie: they don't have one example of it happening! not one. but that didn't stop them from spreading it because it benefits them. so long story short, if you're wondering why you're so angry all the time, it's not a coincidence. the system is designed to provoke you. and politicians like this system because they profit from it, they survive from it. they can say anything as long as it's what their audience wants to believe. that's why when there was a bill that would have required fundraising emails to be fact-checked, marjorie taylor greene blocked it. now, that was a lie i just made up. but you all licked it up, didn't

you! y'all were so ready to donate to my campaign! and once you notice how much this system profits off your anger, it's not surprising that people would like the other side to "just die." it's not surprising that people are afraid to dorm with the monsters who believe different lies. it's not even surprising when a mob of people, believing they are righteous, storm the capitol -- an event where, ironically, a bunch of furries used nancy pelosi's office as a litter box. all right, stay tuned because when we come back, we'll talk more about this with "new yorker" writer jia tolentino. [cheers and applause]

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>> sarah: welcome back to "the daily show." my guest tonight is a staff writer at "the new yorker" and author of the best seller "trick mirror: reflections on self delusion." she is here to talk about social media companies monetizing hate and how we can use the internet as a force for good. please welcome jia tolentino! [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪ so you have written about social media companies and how they monetize rage. is there any way -- is there any

way that they could be incentivized to stop this? >> one way i think about it is, like, did corporations all throughout the last century until the '70s have any incentive to stop poisoning rivers and dumping their waste all over the place? they didn't. it is cheaper to be shitty. it is in their financial best interest to just keep poisoning the river until someone makes them stop, which we could. it is in their best interest for us to feel bad. you never hear anyone saying, i had an amazing day, i sat and i scrolled for six hours. right? you only do that when you feel -- you only scroll that long when you feel bad and when you do that, when you scroll for that long, you feel worse and then you do it more, and that cycle is the primary way -- >> sarah: it's like cocaine. >> it is like cocaine. the first one is fun. [laughter] >> sarah: chasing that first one is not going to come back to

you. >> exactly. >> sarah: but it's interesting, because i see stories pop up that give me outrage. twitter is such a cesspool now. it is so negative. is there any way to unravel this? >> well, i think that as long as these companies, their primary way they make their money is for us to spend as much time as possible on them, and the best way, as you were saying in that segment, for us, for them to ensure that we spend as much time as possible, is through all of the emotions that make us feel as bad as possible, self-righteousness and anger and everyone getting as mad as possible as a group about something you will forget about the next day. as long as that is the economic model, there is no hope. but i think again, as with the corporations that were making all the fish die in the rivers, you can make them change. we could regulate this. >> sarah: right.

yeah, also, it is like, i feel like social media originally was designed -- or its intention was to connect. to connect people. but instead, i think it has kind of put us in silos and that has given us this existential "do i exist?" even selfies, i feel like, are just a constant question of, do i exist? i exist, right? it is interesting. but there is anger, you know, people make money from our anger, they get clicks from anger, but there is some good anger on the internet, where people are organizing. so how do you -- not how do you differentiate, but how do you keep the good anger and get us away from the shitty anger? >> what you were saying about connection, the version of connection that is generated through hate is not the kind of connection that makes sense in real life. it is only a kind of connection that is incentivized and sounds good on the internet. like, in real life, are we actually like, i want to spend six hours face deep in the business of someone i hate?

no! we form -- we do our business based on affinity and the things that we care about and the things that we positively want. i think about, as much as i think the internet as it is structured right now is kind of inevitably and existential and civic net negative, that there are still these things. you think about the protests of summer 2020. they wouldn't have turned into what they became, with a quarter of americans hitting the streets at some point if it was a not for a continual stream of videos on twitter, police brutalizing the protesters at the police brutality protests. these -- there is still radical potential. you think about what people are doing with abortion access right now on the internet. forming these underground networks and getting people to travel across state lines and making sure anyone can get pills who needs them. i try to remember that we still can and will try to be human within a mechanism that wants us to be less so. and we can keep doing it.

>> sarah: how do we fix the internet? [laughter] is there any hope in all of this? >> yeah, yeah. i think in regulation and i think in public pushback, and i think in all of us spending less time on our phone, whether that means refusing convenience. certain things that are convenient. i think it means -- i think all of these things are possible, but we have to maybe accept that in order to resist social media, and in order to resist the constant surveillance that is hitting us on our phone, that all of these companies are tracking and reselling to other companies to make money off of everything we do, we have to maybe refuse a little bit of the cheap pleasure and the convenience that the phone gives us. and i think we can. >> sarah: all right. all right. "trick mirror" is available now. check this out. we are going to take a break. we'll be right back after this. [cheers and applause] ♪ ♪

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